1
00:00:02,043 --> 00:00:03,030
Okay...
2
00:00:03,155 --> 00:00:04,886
Really quick before Alex gets here.
3
00:00:05,011 --> 00:00:06,507
I have a question to ask you.
4
00:00:06,673 --> 00:00:09,093
Is this one of those
intervention things?
5
00:00:09,259 --> 00:00:11,720
No, but let's put a pin
in that idea, okay?
6
00:00:11,886 --> 00:00:15,975
So I want to ask you if you will
be my maid of honor.
7
00:00:16,141 --> 00:00:18,602
Really?
8
00:00:18,768 --> 00:00:19,994
It's okay if you don't want
to... I totally understand.
9
00:00:20,119 --> 00:00:21,395
But just give me your answer
before she gets here,
10
00:00:21,520 --> 00:00:22,731
'cause she's my second choice.
11
00:00:22,897 --> 00:00:26,485
Oh, my God, of course I want to.
12
00:00:26,651 --> 00:00:27,943
How would you think
I wouldn't want to?
13
00:00:28,068 --> 00:00:29,280
- Well, you know.
- Okay.
14
00:00:29,446 --> 00:00:32,239
Look, this is about you,
and I am all over this.
15
00:00:32,364 --> 00:00:33,875
Okay, so what's the first thing
that I get to do
16
00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:36,954
now that I'm basically
the president of your wedding?
17
00:00:37,120 --> 00:00:39,457
Well, you can plan
our engagement party.
18
00:00:39,623 --> 00:00:41,415
Wow.
You're not kidding.
19
00:00:41,540 --> 00:00:45,171
Um, okay.
So what are you thinking?
20
00:00:45,337 --> 00:00:46,921
Well, Neal wants it
to be, like, super formal,
21
00:00:47,046 --> 00:00:48,723
and I just feel like the general vibe
22
00:00:48,848 --> 00:00:52,219
should be more, like...
23
00:00:52,385 --> 00:00:53,429
You know what I mean?
24
00:00:53,595 --> 00:00:56,648
And everyone should feel
like, ooh, pow, pow, pow!
25
00:00:56,773 --> 00:00:58,650
And then people should leave
26
00:00:58,775 --> 00:01:03,204
feeling like...
Ahhhh.
27
00:01:03,329 --> 00:01:04,438
Is that making sense?
28
00:01:04,563 --> 00:01:05,473
You know, it's times like this
29
00:01:05,598 --> 00:01:09,069
I can really see the homeschooling.
30
00:01:09,235 --> 00:01:10,946
[Knock on door]
Hey.
31
00:01:11,112 --> 00:01:14,615
Oh, hi. Okay, so I hope
this isn't weird,
32
00:01:14,740 --> 00:01:17,077
but I've asked Whitney
to be my maid of honor.
33
00:01:17,243 --> 00:01:19,246
Oh, thank God.
[Laughs]
34
00:01:19,412 --> 00:01:22,056
I thought for a minute
that I might be in the running.
35
00:01:22,181 --> 00:01:24,168
That's why I've been sending you
straight to voice mail.
36
00:01:24,334 --> 00:01:27,095
All right, so, just so you know,
37
00:01:27,220 --> 00:01:29,757
we are looking at a date in may.
38
00:01:29,923 --> 00:01:30,865
- May?
- Mm-hmm.
39
00:01:30,990 --> 00:01:32,927
That's soon.
What's the rush?
40
00:01:33,093 --> 00:01:35,346
You know, Neal and I want
to start having kids and...
41
00:01:35,512 --> 00:01:37,605
Okay, nope, no.
We do not do this.
44
00:01:44,354 --> 00:01:46,214
I wish.
45
00:01:46,339 --> 00:01:47,999
I was at my doctor the other day,
46
00:01:48,124 --> 00:01:49,984
and she said that
if I want to have kids someday,
47
00:01:50,109 --> 00:01:51,862
I might want to think
about freezing my eggs.
48
00:01:52,028 --> 00:01:54,722
Yeah, it is so crazy
how our fertility starts to drop
49
00:01:54,847 --> 00:01:56,283
when we hit our 30s.
50
00:01:56,449 --> 00:01:58,359
Oh, God, this conversation
is making me feel
51
00:01:58,484 --> 00:02:02,414
like I just got kicked
right in the balls.
52
00:02:02,580 --> 00:02:04,382
Well, it would take the pressure off
53
00:02:04,507 --> 00:02:06,234
having to meet a guy
by a certain time.
54
00:02:06,359 --> 00:02:07,969
Or if I continue to be disappointed
55
00:02:08,094 --> 00:02:10,798
in the male population,
I will just do it on my own.
56
00:02:10,964 --> 00:02:14,175
It is so messed up that we
even have to think about this.
57
00:02:14,300 --> 00:02:15,910
You know, women
can't have kids after 40,
58
00:02:16,035 --> 00:02:17,779
but Larry king has a kid
every ten minutes,
59
00:02:17,904 --> 00:02:22,099
and he's been dead for five years.
60
00:02:22,224 --> 00:02:25,186
Whitney is taped in front
of a live studio audience.
61
00:02:25,311 --> 00:02:27,022
You heard me.
62
00:02:27,188 --> 00:02:29,741
[Crowd cheering on TV]
15, 10, 5, touchdown!
63
00:02:29,866 --> 00:02:31,876
Yes! Yes!
64
00:02:32,001 --> 00:02:35,003
[Suggestive grunts, moans]
65
00:02:38,224 --> 00:02:41,620
Yo, yo, yo, yo, bro...
66
00:02:41,786 --> 00:02:42,955
Why are you not humping the couch?
67
00:02:43,121 --> 00:02:44,498
Come on, man.
68
00:02:44,664 --> 00:02:46,041
If only two of us do it,
it looks weird.
69
00:02:46,207 --> 00:02:50,178
Yeah, uh, I-it's just that
lily's texting me
70
00:02:50,303 --> 00:02:51,312
about the engagement party,
71
00:02:51,437 --> 00:02:52,513
and we have completely
different ideas
72
00:02:52,638 --> 00:02:53,815
about what it should be.
73
00:02:53,940 --> 00:02:55,801
She wants "edgy" and "gritty."
74
00:02:55,967 --> 00:03:00,306
- What do you want?
- Chairs.
75
00:03:00,472 --> 00:03:01,739
I just want a party that's not weird.
76
00:03:01,864 --> 00:03:03,324
I have clients and co-workers coming.
77
00:03:03,449 --> 00:03:04,935
I just started this huge account
over at bowman design.
78
00:03:05,101 --> 00:03:08,396
Wait a minute.
Bowman design?
79
00:03:08,521 --> 00:03:10,190
Do you know a girl
named Madeline Greene?
80
00:03:10,356 --> 00:03:11,532
Yeah.
She's my point person.
81
00:03:11,657 --> 00:03:13,110
She's coming to the party.
Why?
82
00:03:13,276 --> 00:03:15,470
Oh, that's not good.
83
00:03:15,595 --> 00:03:18,006
Uh, I don't think I can go.
We dated for a little while.
84
00:03:18,131 --> 00:03:22,286
I think seeing me is probably
gonna be pretty hard on her.
85
00:03:22,452 --> 00:03:23,544
Hard for her?
86
00:03:23,669 --> 00:03:25,013
You dated her for, like, a year.
87
00:03:25,138 --> 00:03:26,714
And every time you get drunk,
88
00:03:26,839 --> 00:03:28,167
you can't stop talking about her.
89
00:03:28,333 --> 00:03:32,671
Her Facebook page is your home page.
90
00:03:32,837 --> 00:03:36,675
I get my news from her wall.
91
00:03:36,841 --> 00:03:39,360
So why'd you guys break up?
92
00:03:39,485 --> 00:03:41,029
Uh, because things
were getting too serious,
93
00:03:41,154 --> 00:03:42,389
and this one's afraid of commitment.
94
00:03:42,555 --> 00:03:44,165
No, I do not believe in commitment.
95
00:03:44,290 --> 00:03:46,401
The catholic church invented monogamy
96
00:03:46,526 --> 00:03:49,137
to keep the land barons
from contracting syphilis
97
00:03:49,262 --> 00:03:52,707
from hot peasant women.
98
00:03:52,832 --> 00:03:55,076
Don't you ever wonder
what it would be like to be
99
00:03:55,201 --> 00:03:56,779
in a committed relationship
with someone?
100
00:03:56,945 --> 00:03:58,679
Nope. But I do wonder
what it would be like
101
00:03:58,804 --> 00:04:01,075
to have 20 minutes
with Scarlett Johansson.
102
00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:02,450
Yeah, I could answer that.
103
00:04:02,575 --> 00:04:05,120
It would be 19 minutes
of you apologizing.
104
00:04:07,539 --> 00:04:12,093
Okay, "guest list."
Okay, Sofia is lily's friend.
105
00:04:12,218 --> 00:04:14,213
Wait, Neal has a friend named Sofia.
106
00:04:14,379 --> 00:04:18,466
Maybe we should only invite one.
107
00:04:18,591 --> 00:04:23,055
It's like a real Sofia's choice.
108
00:04:23,221 --> 00:04:26,774
Oh, my God, I've lost my mind.
109
00:04:26,899 --> 00:04:29,444
Ugh.
Whit, you're still awake?
110
00:04:29,569 --> 00:04:31,353
It's been, like, three nights
in a row of this.
111
00:04:31,478 --> 00:04:33,482
This is really unhealthy.
You need to get some sleep.
112
00:04:33,648 --> 00:04:34,832
I can't.
It's like my mind is spinning.
113
00:04:34,957 --> 00:04:36,584
I have so many decisions
to make for the party.
114
00:04:36,709 --> 00:04:38,152
I haven't even started on the music.
115
00:04:38,277 --> 00:04:39,620
I'll get the music.
Relax.
116
00:04:39,745 --> 00:04:41,407
You need to turn your brain off.
117
00:04:41,573 --> 00:04:42,924
Okay, I've tried everything, okay?
118
00:04:43,049 --> 00:04:45,259
I've counted sheep.
I ate Turkey.
119
00:04:45,384 --> 00:04:49,538
I looked at these pants
for, like, 40 minutes.
120
00:04:49,663 --> 00:04:50,865
All right, why don't you
go back to the therapist
121
00:04:50,990 --> 00:04:52,300
you saw last time you had insomnia.
122
00:04:52,425 --> 00:04:53,701
She seemed to help.
123
00:04:53,826 --> 00:04:55,254
Plus, I would get an hour
of sleep while you were gone.
124
00:04:55,420 --> 00:04:57,905
[Scoffs] I do not want to go
to my old therapist, okay?
125
00:04:58,030 --> 00:04:59,675
She is so nosy.
126
00:04:59,841 --> 00:05:01,593
She's a therapist.
That's her job.
127
00:05:05,680 --> 00:05:08,016
Sorry I haven't been here
in so long, Dr. Price.
128
00:05:08,182 --> 00:05:10,251
Oh, don't do that.
You don't owe me an apology.
129
00:05:10,376 --> 00:05:12,563
You do owe me $300, though.
130
00:05:12,729 --> 00:05:14,789
So last time you were here,
131
00:05:14,914 --> 00:05:16,057
which was, I think, about a year ago,
132
00:05:16,182 --> 00:05:19,193
you were claiming to be... 28?
133
00:05:19,318 --> 00:05:21,162
[Quietly]
Yeah.
134
00:05:21,287 --> 00:05:23,824
How old are you claiming to be now?
135
00:05:23,990 --> 00:05:28,078
I am 29, but I really am 29.
136
00:05:28,244 --> 00:05:30,205
Me too.
137
00:05:32,206 --> 00:05:33,474
I see your bangs are gone.
138
00:05:33,599 --> 00:05:35,377
You're showing a lot of forehead.
139
00:05:35,543 --> 00:05:37,278
Oh, um, yeah, but you know,
140
00:05:37,403 --> 00:05:39,465
things are actually going
really well with me right now.
141
00:05:39,631 --> 00:05:40,748
Of course they are... happy people
142
00:05:40,873 --> 00:05:44,011
make emergency appointments
with me all the time.
143
00:05:44,177 --> 00:05:46,287
What's going on in that
crazy little head of yours?
144
00:05:46,412 --> 00:05:50,017
Are you still upset
about Katherine Heigl?
145
00:05:50,183 --> 00:05:52,126
No. I'd rather not get
into my old issues.
146
00:05:52,251 --> 00:05:54,228
I just, uh... I'm having
really bad insomnia,
147
00:05:54,353 --> 00:05:55,397
and I don't know what to do.
148
00:05:55,563 --> 00:05:56,614
Okay, well, I mean,
149
00:05:56,739 --> 00:05:58,432
I can write you a prescription
for a sleeping pill,
150
00:05:58,557 --> 00:05:59,734
but that's just a short-term fix.
151
00:05:59,859 --> 00:06:01,361
I mean, that's not really
getting to the root
152
00:06:01,527 --> 00:06:02,837
- of the matter.
- Oh, no, short-term is good.
153
00:06:02,962 --> 00:06:04,031
- That's good.
- Okay. Okay.
154
00:06:04,197 --> 00:06:05,657
Just so you know, Whitney,
155
00:06:05,823 --> 00:06:08,494
there are no shortcuts to happiness.
156
00:06:08,660 --> 00:06:11,712
Oh, uh, I'm actually
not looking for happiness.
157
00:06:11,837 --> 00:06:13,165
I'm just looking for sleep.
158
00:06:13,331 --> 00:06:14,782
Well, if you really want
to fall asleep,
159
00:06:14,907 --> 00:06:16,133
you should try sitting in my chair
160
00:06:16,258 --> 00:06:18,128
listening to you talk all day.
161
00:06:25,537 --> 00:06:28,381
{pub}No, that's too slow.
162
00:06:28,506 --> 00:06:31,785
[Vocalizing]
♪ uh uh uh uh uh uh ♪
163
00:06:31,910 --> 00:06:33,435
That's too boing-y.
164
00:06:33,601 --> 00:06:36,289
Uh-oh. Okay, see,
look what's happening here!
165
00:06:36,414 --> 00:06:39,058
Yeah. Okay.
Oh, yeah.
166
00:06:39,183 --> 00:06:41,778
Oh-ho. Uh-oh.
[Knock on door]
167
00:06:41,903 --> 00:06:45,195
Hey. Hey, I keep texting Whit,
and I can't find her.
168
00:06:45,320 --> 00:06:46,566
Oh, yeah, she's at a psychiatrist
169
00:06:46,691 --> 00:06:47,699
'cause she's losing her mind.
What's up?
170
00:06:47,865 --> 00:06:50,470
Well...
171
00:06:50,595 --> 00:06:53,038
Okay, I've decided
to have my eggs frozen.
172
00:06:53,204 --> 00:06:54,374
Oh, yeah, Whit told me about that.
173
00:06:54,499 --> 00:06:56,976
- That's really cool.
- Thanks.
174
00:06:57,101 --> 00:06:58,711
Apparently, one of
the really fun parts
175
00:06:58,836 --> 00:07:00,713
is that I have to inject myself
with hormones
176
00:07:00,838 --> 00:07:02,464
at the same time every day.
177
00:07:02,630 --> 00:07:04,384
And that time is later on tonight
178
00:07:04,509 --> 00:07:07,010
in the privacy of your own home.
179
00:07:07,176 --> 00:07:09,596
No, it's right now.
180
00:07:09,762 --> 00:07:11,139
And I don't know...
181
00:07:11,305 --> 00:07:13,809
I just... I can't do it myself.
182
00:07:13,975 --> 00:07:18,689
So all I need you to do
is inject me in the stomach...
183
00:07:18,855 --> 00:07:20,958
With this needle.
184
00:07:24,696 --> 00:07:27,698
Yeah, I'm not gonna do that at all.
185
00:07:27,864 --> 00:07:29,075
Come on, please?
186
00:07:29,200 --> 00:07:30,951
Alex, it has to be
in the next 20 minutes.
187
00:07:31,117 --> 00:07:33,346
Unh!
188
00:07:33,471 --> 00:07:35,539
Okay. Good.
189
00:07:35,705 --> 00:07:37,958
[Clears throat]
190
00:07:38,124 --> 00:07:39,918
- So just...
- Oh.
191
00:07:46,951 --> 00:07:50,345
- Aah!
- Aah!
192
00:07:50,511 --> 00:07:51,998
- Aah!
- Aah!
193
00:07:52,123 --> 00:07:54,975
Oh, my God!
Get it off! Get it off!
194
00:07:55,141 --> 00:07:56,435
You get it off!
195
00:07:56,601 --> 00:07:58,304
- No!
- Ugh!
196
00:07:58,429 --> 00:08:01,591
Aah! Aaaaah!
197
00:08:01,716 --> 00:08:03,775
[Both screaming]
198
00:08:03,941 --> 00:08:05,777
- Pull it!
- Aah!
199
00:08:05,943 --> 00:08:08,113
Unh!
200
00:08:13,451 --> 00:08:15,412
Okay, thanks.
Bye.
201
00:08:19,957 --> 00:08:21,761
This pill's amazing.
202
00:08:21,886 --> 00:08:24,755
I took it ten minutes ago,
and I'm already so tired.
203
00:08:24,921 --> 00:08:26,616
Well, don't fall asleep yet.
204
00:08:26,741 --> 00:08:30,293
It's Thursday night.
Promises were made.
205
00:08:31,844 --> 00:08:33,138
Whit.
206
00:08:33,304 --> 00:08:36,058
Whit?
207
00:08:40,478 --> 00:08:45,342
Okay, I guess I'll have to keep
that promise to myself.
208
00:08:47,412 --> 00:08:50,714
[Clattering]
209
00:09:04,502 --> 00:09:06,254
[Gasps]
Oh, gosh!
210
00:09:06,420 --> 00:09:07,464
Whit, what the hell?
211
00:09:07,630 --> 00:09:08,641
Whoa, whoa. Hey.
Whoa, whoa.
212
00:09:08,766 --> 00:09:09,675
Get down. Get down.
Whoa.
213
00:09:09,841 --> 00:09:12,386
Okay.
Hey, what are you doing?
214
00:09:12,552 --> 00:09:15,848
What are you doing?
And who's Amber?
215
00:09:15,973 --> 00:09:16,983
When we first started dating,
216
00:09:17,108 --> 00:09:18,558
I used to go through your phone.
217
00:09:18,724 --> 00:09:19,986
All right, Whit, you know what?
You're sleepwalking.
218
00:09:20,111 --> 00:09:21,554
That pill really must have
messed you up, okay?
219
00:09:21,679 --> 00:09:23,522
Look, just come here.
Sit down.
220
00:09:23,688 --> 00:09:25,524
Why don't you stand up?
221
00:09:25,690 --> 00:09:28,110
Is this your prom dress?
222
00:09:28,276 --> 00:09:30,988
It's your mom's prom dress.
[Laughs]
223
00:09:31,154 --> 00:09:32,832
Right.
Okay, look, stay here.
224
00:09:32,957 --> 00:09:34,334
I'm gonna go out in the hallway
225
00:09:34,459 --> 00:09:36,460
and see if we're getting evicted.
226
00:09:40,131 --> 00:09:41,830
Whit, why is my laptop
out in the hall...
227
00:09:41,955 --> 00:09:44,444
Hey! Ho! Whoa!
Stop being a poltergeist.
228
00:09:44,569 --> 00:09:48,865
Come here.
Look, just stop.
229
00:09:48,990 --> 00:09:50,617
I got you.
230
00:09:50,742 --> 00:09:52,785
[Gasps]
I'm falling! I'm falling!
231
00:09:52,910 --> 00:09:54,837
- My chute won't open!
- Oh, okay.
232
00:09:54,962 --> 00:09:58,124
Whit, hey...
You're sleeping.
233
00:09:58,249 --> 00:10:00,093
I can't do it.
It's too much pressure.
234
00:10:00,218 --> 00:10:01,661
I'm gonna screw everything up.
235
00:10:01,786 --> 00:10:04,063
What are you talking about?
236
00:10:04,188 --> 00:10:06,199
I have to go to the bathroom.
237
00:10:06,324 --> 00:10:07,940
Okay.
238
00:10:12,130 --> 00:10:14,487
No, no, stand up!
Stand up, stand up! Oh!
239
00:10:14,612 --> 00:10:16,867
[Sighs]
240
00:10:22,288 --> 00:10:25,351
Hey, I had the best
night's sleep last nigh...
241
00:10:25,476 --> 00:10:27,169
Oh, my God, what did you do?
242
00:10:27,335 --> 00:10:31,548
No, you went on a crazy spree
in your sleep.
243
00:10:31,714 --> 00:10:34,092
What?
244
00:10:34,258 --> 00:10:36,845
Yeah, you completely
trashed the place.
245
00:10:37,011 --> 00:10:39,514
And you said some really
mean things about my hair.
246
00:10:39,680 --> 00:10:43,810
Oh, my God, I am so sorry.
It was the pill.
247
00:10:43,976 --> 00:10:46,938
You said I look like
a soap opera villain.
248
00:10:47,104 --> 00:10:49,441
Come on, that's pretty solid.
249
00:10:49,607 --> 00:10:51,210
Eh.
[Cell phone chirps]
250
00:10:51,335 --> 00:10:53,930
Oh.
[Clears throat]
251
00:10:54,055 --> 00:10:56,448
Oh, my goodness.
252
00:10:56,614 --> 00:11:00,086
Uh, I ordered a ton of stuff
online in my sleep.
253
00:11:00,211 --> 00:11:02,939
Oh, God, please be nothing bad
in the "sent" folder.
254
00:11:03,064 --> 00:11:07,415
Oh, no.
Look at that email I sent.
255
00:11:07,540 --> 00:11:09,862
"You're beautiful and sexy,
256
00:11:09,987 --> 00:11:11,064
"and I don't tell you this enough,
257
00:11:11,189 --> 00:11:16,736
but I love you.
Stay real."
258
00:11:16,861 --> 00:11:18,470
Who did you send that to?
259
00:11:18,636 --> 00:11:22,933
Myself.
260
00:11:23,099 --> 00:11:24,510
Pbbbt.
261
00:11:24,635 --> 00:11:27,180
Okay, you got me here. You don't
have to stay and babysit me.
262
00:11:27,305 --> 00:11:28,914
No, we're both staying here
until we find out
263
00:11:29,039 --> 00:11:30,232
what's really wrong with you.
264
00:11:30,398 --> 00:11:32,101
Hi, there.
265
00:11:32,226 --> 00:11:33,733
- You must be Alex.
- Yeah.
266
00:11:33,858 --> 00:11:37,807
Your hair's exactly
like she described it.
267
00:11:37,932 --> 00:11:42,119
Excuse my cleavage, I just came
from a lesbian luncheon.
268
00:11:44,495 --> 00:11:47,567
So what's going on?
269
00:11:47,692 --> 00:11:49,268
Whit.
270
00:11:49,393 --> 00:11:51,370
Okay, um, the pill you gave me
271
00:11:51,495 --> 00:11:53,296
made me sleepwalk, so I was wondering
272
00:11:53,462 --> 00:11:56,409
if you had an additional
anti-sleepwalking pill
273
00:11:56,534 --> 00:11:58,385
that I could take
with the first pill.
274
00:11:58,551 --> 00:12:00,929
So you want to sleep forever?
275
00:12:01,095 --> 00:12:03,316
[Clears throat]
276
00:12:03,441 --> 00:12:05,475
Come on, Whit, you said
you'd get to the bottom of this.
277
00:12:05,641 --> 00:12:06,953
Well, let's talk
about your sleepwalking.
278
00:12:07,078 --> 00:12:08,103
What do you do?
279
00:12:08,269 --> 00:12:09,472
Oh, she did some really weird things.
280
00:12:09,597 --> 00:12:11,257
All right, she went sleep-shopping.
281
00:12:11,382 --> 00:12:12,558
She completely trashed the place.
282
00:12:12,683 --> 00:12:15,944
She shaved her legs,
which she never does.
283
00:12:16,110 --> 00:12:19,499
Oh, that's catastrophic parasomnia.
284
00:12:19,624 --> 00:12:23,503
I should write
another article about you.
285
00:12:23,628 --> 00:12:27,038
- -"Another"?
- What?
286
00:12:27,204 --> 00:12:29,742
Look, um, clinically speaking,
287
00:12:29,867 --> 00:12:32,378
this is obviously just a window
into your subconscious, okay?
288
00:12:32,503 --> 00:12:35,130
So is there anything that
could be causing you anxiety,
289
00:12:35,296 --> 00:12:39,134
aside from your volume
of greatest hits?
290
00:12:39,300 --> 00:12:41,788
Come on, tell her about the party.
291
00:12:41,913 --> 00:12:43,856
I... oh... oh, um,
292
00:12:43,981 --> 00:12:45,391
my girlfriend made me
her maid of honor,
293
00:12:45,516 --> 00:12:47,093
so I'm planning her engagement party.
294
00:12:47,218 --> 00:12:48,494
And last night you kept talking
295
00:12:48,619 --> 00:12:50,596
about how somebody was putting
all this pressure on you.
296
00:12:50,721 --> 00:12:52,098
Okay, well, then there you go.
297
00:12:52,223 --> 00:12:53,566
You have a deep-seated fear
of marriage.
298
00:12:53,691 --> 00:12:55,635
And this is planning
someone's wedding,
299
00:12:55,760 --> 00:12:57,485
so it's bringing up
all of your fears.
300
00:12:57,651 --> 00:12:59,988
So you don't feel like
you're up to the task.
301
00:13:00,154 --> 00:13:01,207
But if you can clear this hurdle,
302
00:13:01,332 --> 00:13:03,025
and you can know that
you've done a good job,
303
00:13:03,150 --> 00:13:05,452
then I think you're gonna have
a much easier time sleeping.
304
00:13:05,618 --> 00:13:08,214
Oh, my God. Thank God.
Thank you so much.
305
00:13:08,339 --> 00:13:10,081
It's my pleasure.
306
00:13:10,247 --> 00:13:12,485
I mean, who wants to go
to an engagement party anyway?
307
00:13:12,610 --> 00:13:13,752
They're so annoying.
308
00:13:13,918 --> 00:13:16,689
I mean, to have a party
to celebrate another party...
309
00:13:16,814 --> 00:13:18,215
What kind of narcissists
want to do that?
310
00:13:18,381 --> 00:13:21,468
I totally... I always say
the same exact thing about...
311
00:13:21,634 --> 00:13:23,887
No, no, no, we're not friends.
312
00:13:29,612 --> 00:13:31,031
{pub}To Neal.
313
00:13:31,156 --> 00:13:33,717
For all of the tiny ways
you're different,
314
00:13:33,842 --> 00:13:36,816
in the most important ways,
you are exactly the same.
315
00:13:36,982 --> 00:13:39,945
And you show us all that we
don't have to change who we are
316
00:13:40,111 --> 00:13:42,072
in order to be happy together.
317
00:13:42,238 --> 00:13:44,324
All: Aw...
[Applause]
318
00:13:47,188 --> 00:13:48,932
That was touching.
319
00:13:49,057 --> 00:13:50,830
You must have written that
in your sleep, huh?
320
00:13:50,996 --> 00:13:52,986
Oh, I didn't write that.
John legend wrote that.
321
00:13:53,111 --> 00:13:55,322
- Okay.
- Whit!
322
00:13:55,447 --> 00:13:57,504
- Alex.
- Hey.
323
00:13:57,670 --> 00:14:00,340
Haven't seen you since the, uh...
324
00:14:00,506 --> 00:14:03,663
How's your, um...
325
00:14:03,788 --> 00:14:05,011
Uterus?
326
00:14:05,177 --> 00:14:08,807
It's good.
It's good, good, good, fine.
327
00:14:08,973 --> 00:14:11,226
[Whistling]
328
00:14:14,895 --> 00:14:18,191
Hey, mark, where you been?
The party's almost over.
329
00:14:18,357 --> 00:14:20,318
You in a gospel brunch?
330
00:14:20,484 --> 00:14:24,751
I have been sitting
in my car for the last hour.
331
00:14:24,876 --> 00:14:26,486
I got here, and I thought
about seeing Madeline again,
332
00:14:26,611 --> 00:14:28,868
- and I got really nervous.
- Why?
333
00:14:29,034 --> 00:14:30,620
Because I still have feelings
for her. Is she here?
334
00:14:30,786 --> 00:14:32,330
Yeah, she's right over there.
335
00:14:34,248 --> 00:14:35,667
Ooh. Ooh!
336
00:14:35,833 --> 00:14:37,294
Why couldn't she have put on
50 pounds?
337
00:14:37,460 --> 00:14:39,666
This might be the three
skinny girl margaritas
338
00:14:39,791 --> 00:14:41,735
I just had
out in the parking lot talking,
339
00:14:41,860 --> 00:14:44,404
but I think I'm just gonna
walk right up to her,
340
00:14:44,529 --> 00:14:46,339
and I'm just gonna say,
"hey, I blew it with you.
341
00:14:46,464 --> 00:14:48,013
We should give this another shot."
342
00:14:48,179 --> 00:14:51,224
Cool, man.
Go get her.
343
00:14:51,390 --> 00:14:52,812
Madeline.
344
00:14:52,937 --> 00:14:54,102
Mark.
345
00:14:54,268 --> 00:14:55,854
- Wow, this is random.
- Yeah.
346
00:14:56,020 --> 00:14:59,399
- You look amazing.
- Thanks. So how are you?
347
00:14:59,565 --> 00:15:01,087
I'm great. I'm great.
348
00:15:01,212 --> 00:15:04,257
And I've actually been thinking
about you recently.
349
00:15:04,382 --> 00:15:06,459
And that is a diamond ring
on your finger.
350
00:15:06,584 --> 00:15:08,450
Yeah.
I'm engaged.
351
00:15:08,616 --> 00:15:11,364
Wow! Ha ha!
352
00:15:11,489 --> 00:15:13,455
- Who's the guy?
- It's someone I met at work.
353
00:15:13,621 --> 00:15:15,540
Oh.
Is it serious?
354
00:15:18,375 --> 00:15:20,657
Hey, thank you for everything.
355
00:15:20,782 --> 00:15:21,708
This party is so perfect.
356
00:15:21,833 --> 00:15:22,692
- Really?
- Yeah.
357
00:15:22,817 --> 00:15:23,840
- Do you like it?
- I love it.
358
00:15:24,006 --> 00:15:25,091
It's really important
that you like it.
359
00:15:25,257 --> 00:15:27,385
This whole thing was so...
360
00:15:27,551 --> 00:15:30,513
[Imitates skyrockets whistling]
361
00:15:30,679 --> 00:15:33,053
- Oh.
- Oh...
362
00:15:33,178 --> 00:15:34,517
I don't know.
363
00:15:40,439 --> 00:15:43,680
Oh, my God, I was up all night again.
364
00:15:43,805 --> 00:15:45,403
What is happening to me?
365
00:15:45,569 --> 00:15:47,500
Yeah, I finally
came out here at 6:00,
366
00:15:47,625 --> 00:15:50,603
and then the delivery guy
came out here at 6:30
367
00:15:50,728 --> 00:15:52,205
and delivered that package,
368
00:15:52,330 --> 00:15:54,307
which I could only assume
that you ordered
369
00:15:54,432 --> 00:15:55,830
while you were on those pills.
370
00:15:55,996 --> 00:15:57,477
This is ridiculous, okay?
371
00:15:57,602 --> 00:15:58,678
If it wasn't the party,
372
00:15:58,803 --> 00:16:00,680
what other stupid thing
is rattling around
373
00:16:00,805 --> 00:16:04,024
deep in the recesses of my brain?
374
00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:10,637
I mean, what could it possibly be?
375
00:16:12,471 --> 00:16:15,100
Okay, why would a 29-year-old woman
376
00:16:15,266 --> 00:16:17,560
order baby shoes in her sleep?
377
00:16:17,726 --> 00:16:20,730
You couldn't have
answered this for her?
378
00:16:23,357 --> 00:16:27,707
It's like she hates money.
379
00:16:27,832 --> 00:16:30,610
It's just kids are not part
of our thing, you know.
380
00:16:30,735 --> 00:16:32,846
I'm not thinking about kids.
He's not thinking about kids.
381
00:16:32,971 --> 00:16:34,744
How do you know? We've never
even talked about it.
382
00:16:34,910 --> 00:16:36,621
Well, that's 'cause
neither of us wants kids.
383
00:16:36,787 --> 00:16:39,552
No. I want kids.
We just...
384
00:16:39,677 --> 00:16:40,987
We haven't talked about it
385
00:16:41,112 --> 00:16:44,424
because I was afraid
that you don't, and that's...
386
00:16:44,549 --> 00:16:47,048
What?
387
00:16:47,214 --> 00:16:50,510
I don't know.
It's kind of a deal breaker.
388
00:17:01,478 --> 00:17:05,984
Is anyone else
as uncomfortable as I am?
389
00:17:08,234 --> 00:17:10,153
[Knock on door]
390
00:17:11,864 --> 00:17:14,242
Mm, this can't be good.
391
00:17:14,408 --> 00:17:15,755
Mark, nobody's home at Whit's place,
392
00:17:15,880 --> 00:17:17,390
so I need you to
inject me in the stomach
393
00:17:17,515 --> 00:17:18,591
with a needle.
394
00:17:18,716 --> 00:17:20,143
I mean, I know that's super weird,
395
00:17:20,268 --> 00:17:22,876
but if you could just try,
I... okay.
396
00:17:23,042 --> 00:17:25,656
And dunzo.
397
00:17:27,421 --> 00:17:28,923
You could have done that yourself.
398
00:17:29,089 --> 00:17:31,551
Yeah, I know.
I...
399
00:17:31,717 --> 00:17:35,408
I am usually really good
at doing things by myself.
400
00:17:35,533 --> 00:17:38,678
Someday I might have a kid by myself.
401
00:17:38,803 --> 00:17:42,882
But for some reason,
this part just feels...
402
00:17:43,007 --> 00:17:44,564
It feels hard to do alone.
403
00:17:44,730 --> 00:17:46,733
I totally get that.
404
00:17:46,899 --> 00:17:49,986
I do not think you do.
405
00:17:50,152 --> 00:17:51,946
I just found out that, uh,
406
00:17:52,112 --> 00:17:54,310
this girl I really could've seen
myself committing to
407
00:17:54,435 --> 00:17:56,117
- has moved on.
- Oh.
408
00:17:56,283 --> 00:17:58,164
So here I am again with this
awesome face and personality
409
00:17:58,289 --> 00:18:00,413
and nobody to share it with.
410
00:18:00,579 --> 00:18:03,853
Yeah.
Yeah, that sucks.
411
00:18:03,978 --> 00:18:05,839
Listen...
412
00:18:05,964 --> 00:18:08,129
Thank you, mark.
413
00:18:08,295 --> 00:18:09,442
You know, if you ever need help
414
00:18:09,567 --> 00:18:11,010
with your shot again, I can do it.
415
00:18:11,135 --> 00:18:12,045
Really?
416
00:18:12,170 --> 00:18:13,413
You know, you need to do it
417
00:18:13,538 --> 00:18:14,531
at the same time every day, though,
418
00:18:14,656 --> 00:18:16,054
so that's kind of a big commitment.
419
00:18:16,220 --> 00:18:17,417
I say we do this.
420
00:18:17,542 --> 00:18:18,818
You won't have to feel alone,
421
00:18:18,943 --> 00:18:21,559
and I can use you as, like,
my commitment training bra.
422
00:18:21,725 --> 00:18:24,604
You mean training wheels.
423
00:18:24,770 --> 00:18:28,608
Ah, potato, po-tatas.
424
00:18:28,774 --> 00:18:30,652
Okay.
425
00:18:30,818 --> 00:18:34,200
So...
426
00:18:34,325 --> 00:18:38,037
Define "deal breaker."
427
00:18:38,162 --> 00:18:41,079
Look, Whit, this is a really
bad conversation to have.
428
00:18:41,245 --> 00:18:44,499
Okay.
429
00:18:44,665 --> 00:18:47,771
Because if you never
want kids, then...
430
00:18:49,586 --> 00:18:52,652
It's just a really bad
conversation to have, all right?
431
00:18:52,777 --> 00:18:56,135
Okay, I didn't say I never want kids.
432
00:18:56,301 --> 00:18:59,292
I just...
433
00:18:59,417 --> 00:19:02,195
I grew up around a lot
of divorce, and it sucks.
434
00:19:02,320 --> 00:19:03,897
And I just never want
to put a kid through that.
435
00:19:04,022 --> 00:19:05,298
So I would have to make sure that
436
00:19:05,423 --> 00:19:06,980
that would never happen to us.
437
00:19:07,146 --> 00:19:10,503
Well, in order to get divorced...
438
00:19:10,628 --> 00:19:12,986
You need to get married.
439
00:19:13,152 --> 00:19:15,989
Duh.
440
00:19:19,337 --> 00:19:22,287
Okay, so does that mean that
you'd consider getting married?
441
00:19:22,453 --> 00:19:23,850
[Scoffs]
442
00:19:23,975 --> 00:19:27,584
To you I would.
443
00:19:27,750 --> 00:19:30,089
All right, well, I didn't realize
444
00:19:30,214 --> 00:19:31,421
that that was on the table.
445
00:19:31,587 --> 00:19:35,383
Okay, there it is.
It's on the stupid table.
446
00:19:36,607 --> 00:19:39,762
Oh, my God, Whit,
you're like a person.
447
00:19:39,928 --> 00:19:42,348
Shut up.
No, I'm not.
448
00:19:44,162 --> 00:19:46,269
Look, I...
449
00:19:46,435 --> 00:19:49,342
I'm scared of marriage,
and I'm scared of having kids,
450
00:19:49,467 --> 00:19:51,778
but with you,
it's like the first time
451
00:19:51,903 --> 00:19:54,902
I can actually imagine it.
452
00:19:55,068 --> 00:19:57,447
It makes me really happy
to hear you say that.
453
00:19:57,613 --> 00:19:58,601
I mean, it's a disaster.
454
00:19:58,726 --> 00:20:00,252
The house is on fire,
and the kid hates me,
455
00:20:00,377 --> 00:20:01,659
but I can imagine it.
456
00:20:01,825 --> 00:20:04,495
Hey, look, baby steps.
457
00:20:04,661 --> 00:20:06,225
Yeah.
458
00:20:06,350 --> 00:20:08,249
Baby steps.
459
00:20:10,221 --> 00:20:11,430
You know, it'd be cool one day
460
00:20:11,555 --> 00:20:12,920
to be married, have a kid.
461
00:20:13,086 --> 00:20:16,002
It'd be really nice
to have somebody to come with me
462
00:20:16,127 --> 00:20:18,862
to visit you at the facility.
463
00:20:24,028 --> 00:20:26,267
So what you're saying is that
there's a communication problem?
464
00:20:26,433 --> 00:20:29,646
No, I literally can't
understand what she's saying.
465
00:20:29,812 --> 00:20:31,494
It's very simple, okay?
466
00:20:31,619 --> 00:20:35,831
Neal is very, like, dzzzzzzzzz...
467
00:20:35,956 --> 00:20:40,436
And I am just much more, like...
468
00:20:40,561 --> 00:20:42,738
Do you know what I mean?
And I feel like that stems
469
00:20:42,863 --> 00:20:45,491
from the fact that, like, I'm,
like, like this kind of person,
470
00:20:45,616 --> 00:20:48,110
and Neal's just much more
of, like, this kind of person.
471
00:20:48,235 --> 00:20:50,212
And so I think we need
to find a way to meet,
472
00:20:50,337 --> 00:20:51,714
like...
473
00:20:51,839 --> 00:20:53,795
Here.
474
00:20:55,297 --> 00:20:56,587
Are your parents deaf?
475
00:20:56,712 --> 00:20:59,306
Sync and correction by Mlmlte
www.addic7ed.com