1
00:00:03,789 --> 00:00:05,289
Ay-yi-yi!
2
00:00:19,490 --> 00:00:21,057
D'oh!
3
00:00:44,215 --> 00:00:45,215
♪ ...Show. ♪
4
00:00:47,118 --> 00:00:53,056
In these
d-d-dark t-times...
5
00:01:14,145 --> 00:01:16,213
Can't get enough
Itchy and Scratchy!
6
00:01:16,280 --> 00:01:18,348
And now it's time for...
7
00:01:18,416 --> 00:01:20,167
another Itchy and Scratchy?
8
00:01:20,234 --> 00:01:23,386
Who's the star of this show,
me or...?!
9
00:01:23,430 --> 00:01:27,430
♪ The Simpsons 23x08 ♪
The Ten-Per-Cent Solution
Original Air Date on December 4, 2011
10
00:01:27,855 --> 00:01:31,455
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
WEB-DL by <3 AWiNTER <3
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00:01:38,302 --> 00:01:43,757
♪ When you were here before ♪
12
00:01:43,824 --> 00:01:49,729
♪ Couldn't look you in the eye ♪
13
00:01:49,797 --> 00:01:52,699
Why is my show all cartoons?!
14
00:01:52,767 --> 00:01:54,317
And all the movies
they're making fun of
15
00:01:54,385 --> 00:01:55,785
are over a year old.
16
00:01:55,853 --> 00:01:57,354
It's like those parodies
were written
17
00:01:57,421 --> 00:02:00,290
when the movies came out, but
it took so long to animate them
18
00:02:00,358 --> 00:02:01,758
that we look dated and hacky.
19
00:02:01,826 --> 00:02:02,759
Why can't we...?!
20
00:02:16,874 --> 00:02:18,241
Kids, that's
enough TV.
21
00:02:18,309 --> 00:02:20,043
Maggie's eye is
starting to wander.
22
00:02:22,830 --> 00:02:24,664
- Mom, what are you doing?!
- What a rip!
23
00:02:24,732 --> 00:02:26,166
No more TV.
24
00:02:26,234 --> 00:02:27,918
We're gonna get some fresh air
25
00:02:27,985 --> 00:02:30,870
and visit the Museum...
of Television.
26
00:02:30,938 --> 00:02:32,672
Why can't we visit
a real museum?
27
00:02:32,740 --> 00:02:34,174
One that doesn't
have the skeletons
28
00:02:34,242 --> 00:02:35,909
of the Three Stooges
in the lobby.
29
00:02:35,977 --> 00:02:39,179
We have to see the Museum of TV
before next Wednesday
30
00:02:39,247 --> 00:02:40,914
when it closes forever.
31
00:02:40,982 --> 00:02:42,399
It's closing?!
32
00:02:42,466 --> 00:02:44,968
But where will people
find clips of old TV shows
33
00:02:45,036 --> 00:02:47,137
if they're not housed
in a giant building?
34
00:02:47,204 --> 00:02:48,455
Where? Where?!
35
00:02:55,129 --> 00:02:56,029
Ay, caramba!
36
00:03:02,670 --> 00:03:04,337
(King of the Hill theme
playing)
37
00:03:13,681 --> 00:03:16,449
Hmm, they're selling off
all the old TV relics.
38
00:03:18,686 --> 00:03:19,953
Whoa!
39
00:03:20,021 --> 00:03:21,588
The gun Sheriff Baby wore!
40
00:03:21,656 --> 00:03:23,006
Hmm.
41
00:03:25,092 --> 00:03:26,626
Bart!
44
00:03:39,440 --> 00:03:43,476
And people will see my tattoo
of Donald Duck smoking a doob!
45
00:03:43,544 --> 00:03:45,445
That was for
Marge's eyes only.
46
00:03:47,982 --> 00:03:49,416
Oh, my God!
47
00:03:49,483 --> 00:03:51,067
Fatso Flanagan!
48
00:03:51,135 --> 00:03:53,236
Who's Fatso Flanagan?
49
00:03:53,304 --> 00:03:56,306
Only the funniest
black-and-white man ever.
50
00:03:56,374 --> 00:03:58,942
Isn't that just a rip-off
of The Honeymooners?
51
00:03:59,010 --> 00:04:01,311
Everything's a rip-off
of The Honeymooners.
52
00:04:01,379 --> 00:04:04,047
Margie, you're the greatest.
53
00:04:04,115 --> 00:04:07,851
Oh, Ralph, Fred,
Archie, King of Queens,
54
00:04:07,918 --> 00:04:09,235
I mean Homer.
55
00:04:10,805 --> 00:04:11,971
You'll see, Eunice.
56
00:04:12,039 --> 00:04:14,140
I'm gonna win
the Irish Sweepstakes,
57
00:04:14,208 --> 00:04:16,543
and then I'm buying you
a mink coat.
58
00:04:18,312 --> 00:04:19,446
Are you getting excited?
59
00:04:19,513 --> 00:04:20,480
No.
60
00:04:20,548 --> 00:04:22,716
That's me not holding my breath.
61
00:04:23,951 --> 00:04:25,352
Just you wait, Eunice.
62
00:04:25,419 --> 00:04:26,353
Just you wait.
63
00:04:26,420 --> 00:04:28,822
Ka-chik, kaboom, ka-splatter!
64
00:04:28,889 --> 00:04:30,957
See your grave there?
65
00:04:35,246 --> 00:04:38,965
They were so childless
and miserable.
66
00:04:39,033 --> 00:04:40,834
The size 48s.
67
00:04:40,901 --> 00:04:42,569
That's when he was the funniest.
68
00:04:42,636 --> 00:04:43,803
How would you know?
69
00:04:43,871 --> 00:04:45,772
I was Fatso's agent.
70
00:04:45,840 --> 00:04:47,340
Annie Dubinsky.
71
00:04:47,408 --> 00:04:50,510
If you ever hear a star's name
and wonder, is he dead?
72
00:04:50,578 --> 00:04:53,246
The answer is either
I represent him or yes.
73
00:04:53,314 --> 00:04:55,665
Now, let me ask you something:
is there a place for
74
00:04:55,733 --> 00:04:58,868
an old-fashioned lard-ass
like me on today's television?
75
00:04:58,936 --> 00:05:02,622
Um, would you play a
bloated corpse on CSI?
76
00:05:02,690 --> 00:05:03,940
Would I?!
77
00:05:05,960 --> 00:05:08,361
Wow, that's good
bloat work!
78
00:05:08,429 --> 00:05:10,647
He always comes back
really religious.
79
00:05:12,249 --> 00:05:14,951
You're killing me here
with this Catchy and Patchy.
80
00:05:15,019 --> 00:05:16,753
I'm barely on my own show.
81
00:05:16,821 --> 00:05:19,222
Today's kids are uncomfortable
with a clown
82
00:05:19,290 --> 00:05:22,092
whose every reference they have
to look up on Wikipedia.
83
00:05:22,159 --> 00:05:24,794
Wikipedia, Twitter--
who names these things?
84
00:05:24,862 --> 00:05:26,362
Percy Dovetonsils?
85
00:05:28,499 --> 00:05:29,899
Get it?
86
00:05:29,967 --> 00:05:34,337
Come on, he was on Ernie Kovacs
with a smoking jacket...
87
00:05:35,539 --> 00:05:36,439
Krusty,
88
00:05:36,507 --> 00:05:38,541
we want to make some changes.
89
00:05:38,609 --> 00:05:40,276
What kind of changes?
90
00:05:40,344 --> 00:05:44,013
Krusty, um, this is never easy,
91
00:05:44,081 --> 00:05:45,682
but you're fired.
92
00:05:45,749 --> 00:05:47,350
Oh, that was easy.
93
00:05:47,418 --> 00:05:48,718
Oh, no!
94
00:05:48,786 --> 00:05:51,020
My contract states
there's only one way
95
00:05:51,088 --> 00:05:52,622
you're allowed to fire me!
96
00:05:55,242 --> 00:05:57,377
Yep, everything's
nice and legal!
97
00:06:01,665 --> 00:06:03,199
Could this be
more awkward?
98
00:06:05,569 --> 00:06:09,339
They took my dressing room, my
parking space, even my writer,
99
00:06:09,406 --> 00:06:11,307
so I don't have a
funny third item.
100
00:06:11,375 --> 00:06:15,478
But at least I got you,
my agent and best friend.
101
00:06:17,181 --> 00:06:19,082
Krustila, I'm gonna
drop you as a friend first,
102
00:06:19,150 --> 00:06:20,984
so that when I drop you
as a client,
103
00:06:21,051 --> 00:06:22,352
you'll know it's only business.
104
00:06:22,419 --> 00:06:24,187
But we shared everything!
105
00:06:24,255 --> 00:06:26,456
Boats, girlfriends, condos.
106
00:06:26,524 --> 00:06:29,893
And when I finished, every one
of them was spic and span.
107
00:06:29,960 --> 00:06:32,195
Krusty, I'm gonna prove
that it's over.
108
00:06:32,263 --> 00:06:34,297
What? I'm on
your garage door opener?
109
00:06:34,365 --> 00:06:36,232
It's a smartphone,
you out-of-it hack.
110
00:06:42,656 --> 00:06:44,190
Little help?
111
00:06:44,258 --> 00:06:47,243
This only shuts the door.
112
00:06:49,046 --> 00:06:52,549
So, what was everyone's
favorite moment at the museum?
113
00:06:52,616 --> 00:06:54,784
I liked the
knowledgeable docents.
114
00:06:54,852 --> 00:06:57,120
I liked the early
closing time.
115
00:06:58,556 --> 00:06:59,556
Krusty?
116
00:06:59,623 --> 00:07:02,292
Fate is so cruel.
117
00:07:02,359 --> 00:07:06,079
This morning I was a star,
with a top agent.
118
00:07:06,146 --> 00:07:08,848
Now I'm strung out
in a ball pit!
119
00:07:10,918 --> 00:07:12,252
Go away.
120
00:07:12,319 --> 00:07:15,288
No kid should see
his hero sunk so low.
121
00:07:15,356 --> 00:07:17,090
Well, you're not
exactly my hero.
122
00:07:17,157 --> 00:07:18,925
I see you more as
a cautionary tale.
123
00:07:18,993 --> 00:07:20,360
What?!
124
00:07:20,427 --> 00:07:22,061
I'll show you
who's a cautionary tale.
125
00:07:23,497 --> 00:07:25,632
I'll show everybody!
126
00:07:29,837 --> 00:07:30,770
You're not licked,
Krusty.
127
00:07:30,838 --> 00:07:32,238
People love a comeback.
128
00:07:32,306 --> 00:07:34,908
Look at Robert Downey Jr.,
Mickey Rourke.
129
00:07:34,975 --> 00:07:37,310
I don't know if
I got it in me.
130
00:07:37,378 --> 00:07:39,145
Well, people also
love a quitter--
131
00:07:39,213 --> 00:07:41,047
Sarah Palin, The Beatles...
132
00:07:41,115 --> 00:07:43,216
Eh, it's hopeless
without an agent.
133
00:07:43,284 --> 00:07:44,417
You need an agent?
134
00:07:44,485 --> 00:07:46,085
We met a ten percenter today.
135
00:07:46,153 --> 00:07:47,887
She'll get you meetings
with the eye,
136
00:07:47,955 --> 00:07:49,489
the peacock,
the alphabet web.
137
00:07:49,557 --> 00:07:51,958
You'll have a skein on the sked
before you can say
138
00:07:52,026 --> 00:07:55,161
"Krusty's wardrobe furnished by
Ha-Has of Beverly Hills."
139
00:07:55,229 --> 00:07:56,796
A new agent?!
140
00:07:56,864 --> 00:07:57,947
I better freshen up.
141
00:08:01,986 --> 00:08:05,121
Also better get back on
those anti-psychotic meds.
142
00:08:07,191 --> 00:08:10,226
Oh, this is a bad sign.
143
00:08:10,294 --> 00:08:12,262
I've been to classier
gas stations.
144
00:08:13,998 --> 00:08:15,732
I know that laugh!
145
00:08:15,799 --> 00:08:17,834
It's the laugh of
the most ungrateful,
146
00:08:17,901 --> 00:08:19,335
credit-grabbing,
147
00:08:19,403 --> 00:08:22,238
other-people's-room-service-
eating man that I ever met.
148
00:08:22,306 --> 00:08:25,975
I will never forgive you
for what you did to me.
149
00:08:26,043 --> 00:08:29,501
Krusty, you know her?
She sure knows me.
150
00:08:33,951 --> 00:08:36,026
Ms. Dubinsky,
can you please just tell us
151
00:08:36,027 --> 00:08:37,061
why you hate Krusty?
152
00:08:37,128 --> 00:08:39,179
Come on in.
153
00:08:39,247 --> 00:08:41,131
It's a long story.
154
00:08:41,216 --> 00:08:43,217
Oh, now
I hate him, too.
155
00:08:43,268 --> 00:08:45,135
It was the mid '60s.
156
00:08:45,203 --> 00:08:47,571
I was a virgin agent,
157
00:08:47,639 --> 00:08:50,040
looking for a first client
or a fourth husband.
158
00:08:50,108 --> 00:08:51,425
And then I saw him.
159
00:08:51,476 --> 00:08:52,693
Hey-hey.
160
00:08:52,760 --> 00:08:54,194
Scary world.
161
00:08:54,262 --> 00:08:57,031
They start with the A-bomb,
then skip right to the H-bomb.
162
00:08:57,098 --> 00:08:59,233
These geniuses can
blow up the planet,
163
00:08:59,284 --> 00:09:00,651
but they don't know
the alphabet.
164
00:09:04,873 --> 00:09:06,573
I knew he could be big.
165
00:09:06,625 --> 00:09:08,242
He just needed
some savvy fingers
166
00:09:08,293 --> 00:09:11,095
to mold his clay into an Ali.
167
00:09:12,314 --> 00:09:14,882
Herschel, you killed
them tonight!
168
00:09:14,950 --> 00:09:18,085
There wasn't a
dry turtleneck in the house.
169
00:09:18,153 --> 00:09:19,653
But mark my words:
170
00:09:19,721 --> 00:09:21,655
the bohemian crowd
is small potatoes.
171
00:09:21,723 --> 00:09:23,557
You're gonna have to
broaden your act
172
00:09:23,625 --> 00:09:25,326
if you want to play in Peoria.
173
00:09:25,393 --> 00:09:26,860
I don't want
to play in Peoria.
174
00:09:26,928 --> 00:09:29,530
They're always doing
construction on Highway 74.
175
00:09:29,597 --> 00:09:32,599
I mean, if you want to hit it
big, you got to lose this...
176
00:09:35,203 --> 00:09:37,104
stick this on...
177
00:09:38,707 --> 00:09:41,141
and make your comedy
a touch more physical.
178
00:09:41,209 --> 00:09:42,443
How do I do that?
179
00:09:42,510 --> 00:09:43,927
Like so.
180
00:09:51,569 --> 00:09:52,870
Wow.
181
00:09:52,937 --> 00:09:55,756
This is the best kind of
comedy of all: cheap!
182
00:09:55,824 --> 00:09:59,076
Herschel, you are gonna get
everything you want:
183
00:09:59,144 --> 00:10:00,594
money and women...
184
00:10:00,661 --> 00:10:02,262
There's only one
thing I want:
185
00:10:02,330 --> 00:10:04,281
ice for my ding-dong!
186
00:10:04,349 --> 00:10:05,849
And you.
187
00:10:05,917 --> 00:10:08,352
Every night, he had them
rolling in the aisles,
188
00:10:08,436 --> 00:10:10,621
followed by a roll
in the hey-hey with me.
189
00:10:17,345 --> 00:10:20,080
This is the part where I get
the kids out of the room.
190
00:10:20,148 --> 00:10:21,482
Oh, grow up.
191
00:10:21,549 --> 00:10:24,451
Today's kids are less sensitive
than an army condom.
192
00:10:24,519 --> 00:10:27,721
They see more on TV than my
mother did on her wedding night.
193
00:10:27,789 --> 00:10:30,457
And they don't complain about it
for the next 50 years.
194
00:10:30,525 --> 00:10:33,794
I got big plans
for us, Krusty.
195
00:10:33,862 --> 00:10:35,396
This is just
the beginning.
196
00:10:35,463 --> 00:10:37,664
Actually, sweetheart,
it's the end.
197
00:10:37,732 --> 00:10:40,768
I'm leaving you for Ron
Rabinowitz at United Parasites.
198
00:10:40,835 --> 00:10:43,170
You waited until now
to tell me that?!
199
00:10:43,238 --> 00:10:45,706
I can only tell the truth
right after sex.
200
00:10:45,774 --> 00:10:47,975
But all during sex
I was thinking it.
201
00:10:48,043 --> 00:10:49,076
Get out!
202
00:10:51,012 --> 00:10:53,047
You ungrateful pig!
203
00:10:53,114 --> 00:10:54,915
I made you!
204
00:10:54,983 --> 00:10:57,918
Deep down, I'm doing this
to get back at my father.
205
00:10:57,986 --> 00:10:59,286
Don't blame
this on me.
206
00:10:59,354 --> 00:11:01,021
Your childhood
was heaven.
207
00:11:02,540 --> 00:11:04,208
I was so mad at him
208
00:11:04,275 --> 00:11:06,810
I didn't have sex with a clown
for five months.
209
00:11:06,878 --> 00:11:07,978
What about mimes?
210
00:11:08,046 --> 00:11:09,947
Come on.
I'm not made of stone.
211
00:11:10,014 --> 00:11:14,218
Annie, would you ever consider
taking Krusty back as a client?
212
00:11:14,285 --> 00:11:17,221
No! Absolutely not!
213
00:11:17,288 --> 00:11:19,690
Trust with me is
like a candle.
214
00:11:19,758 --> 00:11:22,359
When you blow it out,
it's gone for good.
215
00:11:22,427 --> 00:11:23,994
What about a comedy candle?
216
00:11:24,062 --> 00:11:26,363
You know, that relights itself?
217
00:11:26,431 --> 00:11:28,198
I don't find those funny,
just frustrating.
218
00:11:28,266 --> 00:11:29,400
They're pretty funny.
219
00:11:29,467 --> 00:11:30,901
Once, I used one on Milhouse.
220
00:11:30,969 --> 00:11:33,203
He was wishing for his parents
to get back together,
221
00:11:33,271 --> 00:11:34,605
but the flame never went out.
222
00:11:35,840 --> 00:11:37,491
Good one, boy.
223
00:11:37,559 --> 00:11:40,494
Annie, I'm down on
my rebuilt knee.
224
00:11:40,562 --> 00:11:43,130
Can't you forgive me?
Please?
225
00:11:43,198 --> 00:11:45,666
For the sake of me
getting what I want?
226
00:11:48,736 --> 00:11:51,405
Fine.
But no nonsense.
227
00:11:51,473 --> 00:11:52,840
Except, of course,
during working hours,
228
00:11:52,907 --> 00:11:54,508
then it's all nonsense.
229
00:11:55,310 --> 00:11:56,910
Great. So we're booked
230
00:11:56,978 --> 00:12:00,114
for three weeks in June
at the Springfield Playhouse.
231
00:12:00,181 --> 00:12:03,817
I promise you Krusty will show
up on time or sober.
232
00:12:03,885 --> 00:12:06,120
Yeah, that's right, I said "or."
233
00:12:06,187 --> 00:12:08,205
Let me get this straight:
234
00:12:08,273 --> 00:12:10,574
you want me
to do my kids' show for adults?
235
00:12:10,642 --> 00:12:13,143
They're gonna want F-bombs and
all I can give 'em is
236
00:12:13,211 --> 00:12:14,945
"ca-ca" and "ta-tas."
237
00:12:15,013 --> 00:12:18,348
Krusty, there is nothing people
love more than the things
238
00:12:18,416 --> 00:12:19,583
they loved when they were kids.
239
00:12:19,651 --> 00:12:22,352
So you re-create
your show for adults!
240
00:12:22,420 --> 00:12:24,588
It worked like magic
for Pee-Wee Herman
241
00:12:24,656 --> 00:12:26,123
after his setback.
242
00:12:26,191 --> 00:12:27,858
What did he get in trouble for?
243
00:12:29,894 --> 00:12:31,061
That's all?!
244
00:12:31,129 --> 00:12:33,530
I did that while
you were on the phone!
245
00:12:38,236 --> 00:12:40,137
You know, I'm
a little nervous
246
00:12:40,205 --> 00:12:42,139
about doing
live theatre again.
247
00:12:42,207 --> 00:12:44,441
Come on. Didn't you do
your TV show in front
248
00:12:44,509 --> 00:12:45,976
of an audience
for years?
249
00:12:46,044 --> 00:12:48,779
Yeah, but they were kids and we
gave 'em candy if they laughed.
250
00:12:48,847 --> 00:12:49,947
And if they didn't,
251
00:12:50,014 --> 00:12:52,583
until the '70s,
I hit 'em with a stick.
252
00:12:52,650 --> 00:12:55,018
Some jerk tracked down the kids
and made a documentary.
253
00:12:55,086 --> 00:12:57,354
It's called Circus of Shame
or something.
254
00:12:59,123 --> 00:13:01,425
And now, let's welcome a man
255
00:13:01,493 --> 00:13:06,830
the Spanish call "Señor No-Fun":
Krusty the Clown!
256
00:13:06,898 --> 00:13:08,966
Hey-hey, kids!
257
00:13:09,033 --> 00:13:10,868
Hey-hey, Krusty!
258
00:13:10,935 --> 00:13:13,036
Who here likes nostalgia?
259
00:13:14,405 --> 00:13:16,440
Everything's perfect
about the past
260
00:13:16,508 --> 00:13:18,141
except how it led
to the present.
261
00:13:18,209 --> 00:13:22,095
Then welcome back the original
Tick-Tock the Clock!
262
00:13:22,163 --> 00:13:24,581
Would that I could
turn back time
263
00:13:24,666 --> 00:13:26,884
and never play this
career-killing role.
264
00:13:26,951 --> 00:13:32,222
Ooh, looks like Tick-Tock is
telling us it's time for...
265
00:13:32,290 --> 00:13:35,025
What's In Krusty's Pocket?!
266
00:13:35,093 --> 00:13:37,461
Mmm. Ah!
267
00:13:47,972 --> 00:13:50,474
I've pulled out everything
but my Little Krusty.
268
00:13:50,542 --> 00:13:53,477
Aw, what the heck?
269
00:13:57,615 --> 00:13:59,283
Oh, that was great, man!
270
00:13:59,367 --> 00:14:01,568
I feel like I'm
ten again!
271
00:14:01,636 --> 00:14:03,387
Everything I loved
as a kid
272
00:14:03,454 --> 00:14:06,189
and hated as a teenager
I love as an adult!
273
00:14:06,257 --> 00:14:08,108
No one knows better
than me
274
00:14:08,176 --> 00:14:10,744
that it's "Here today,
gone tomorrow."
275
00:14:10,812 --> 00:14:13,480
But I'm here today!
276
00:14:13,548 --> 00:14:15,382
Thanks to you, honey!
277
00:14:15,450 --> 00:14:17,351
Mmm... mwa!
278
00:14:17,418 --> 00:14:19,019
Uh, um, sorry...
279
00:14:19,087 --> 00:14:20,821
This one, I think,
is mine.
280
00:14:20,888 --> 00:14:22,189
Yeah, I'll take that...
281
00:14:22,257 --> 00:14:23,290
I'll, give me
that one.
282
00:14:23,358 --> 00:14:24,791
Well, that looks
better on you, honey.
283
00:14:24,859 --> 00:14:26,493
Yeah.
No, no, no, it screams you.
284
00:14:26,561 --> 00:14:27,527
Let's just keep smooching
285
00:14:27,595 --> 00:14:29,496
till everything sorts
itself out.
286
00:14:29,564 --> 00:14:30,530
Mmm... I'm done.
287
00:14:34,714 --> 00:14:37,766
Krusty, you're getting
the best reviews of your career!
288
00:14:38,295 --> 00:14:40,396
Yep! I'm back on top!
289
00:14:40,463 --> 00:14:44,300
And this time I'm not blowing it
on cocaine for my horses.
290
00:14:44,367 --> 00:14:47,436
They start well, then they get
paranoid around the third turn.
291
00:14:47,504 --> 00:14:49,572
And you'll have plenty
to invest.
292
00:14:49,639 --> 00:14:51,840
The networks have
come crawling.
293
00:14:51,908 --> 00:14:53,409
Which ones? Telebozo?
294
00:14:53,476 --> 00:14:56,011
Shtick at Nite? E.S.P.U.?
295
00:14:56,079 --> 00:14:57,680
Better, baby.
296
00:14:57,747 --> 00:14:59,748
Our premium cable network is
a little different
297
00:14:59,816 --> 00:15:01,317
from what you're used to.
298
00:15:01,384 --> 00:15:03,452
Our brand is classy
and upscale.
299
00:15:03,520 --> 00:15:06,555
And we pay for everything
with soft porno and boxing.
300
00:15:06,623 --> 00:15:09,558
Wait a minute.
There's soft porno?
301
00:15:09,626 --> 00:15:11,527
And here you don't have
to worry about budgets,
302
00:15:11,595 --> 00:15:13,062
and the critics are
in our pocket.
303
00:15:13,129 --> 00:15:14,663
en the Boston Phoenix?
304
00:15:14,731 --> 00:15:17,182
If not, we'll burn it
to the ground!
305
00:15:17,250 --> 00:15:19,335
And that will be the end
of that phoenix.
306
00:15:19,402 --> 00:15:23,389
All good. I just have one
non-negotiable demand:
307
00:15:23,456 --> 00:15:27,426
This brass begonia here is
my producer now
308
00:15:27,494 --> 00:15:29,712
until the end of time.
309
00:15:29,779 --> 00:15:31,313
Really?
Yep.
310
00:15:31,381 --> 00:15:33,782
And you know
that anything said
311
00:15:33,850 --> 00:15:37,152
at a network pitch meeting
can be taken to the bank.
312
00:15:41,625 --> 00:15:43,392
♪ ♪
313
00:15:50,083 --> 00:15:52,117
Krusty, my man,
you finally hit it big.
314
00:15:52,202 --> 00:15:53,502
You said it!
315
00:15:53,570 --> 00:15:56,238
The Entourage actors are
now my interns!
316
00:15:56,306 --> 00:15:57,489
I got your coffees,
Mr. K.!
317
00:15:57,557 --> 00:15:59,074
Too hot!
318
00:15:59,142 --> 00:16:00,125
Too cold!
319
00:16:02,829 --> 00:16:03,929
Genius!
320
00:16:03,997 --> 00:16:05,197
No, no, no!
321
00:16:05,265 --> 00:16:06,815
What, are you crazy?!
322
00:16:06,883 --> 00:16:08,634
You can't put
a green wall behind
323
00:16:08,718 --> 00:16:10,436
a clown with green hair!
324
00:16:10,503 --> 00:16:11,770
Beloved entertainer...
325
00:16:11,855 --> 00:16:12,838
sad old man!
326
00:16:12,906 --> 00:16:14,306
Beloved entertainer...
327
00:16:14,391 --> 00:16:15,891
sad old man!
328
00:16:15,959 --> 00:16:19,845
He ain't changing, so everything
else in the world has to!
329
00:16:19,913 --> 00:16:21,647
Annie, it's your
first day on the set.
330
00:16:21,715 --> 00:16:23,899
Scream something nice.
331
00:16:23,967 --> 00:16:26,768
Krusty, I am here to serve
you and no one else.
332
00:16:26,820 --> 00:16:30,022
"Nice" gets booked
at birthday parties!
333
00:16:30,090 --> 00:16:32,691
Hey, birthday parties got me
through some tough times.
334
00:16:32,759 --> 00:16:35,494
For years I lived on
piñata candy!
335
00:16:35,562 --> 00:16:38,664
Yeah? Well, from now on
the only birthday parties
336
00:16:38,732 --> 00:16:40,666
you are gonna do are
for the insane sons
337
00:16:40,734 --> 00:16:42,701
of rich Middle Eastern
dictators.
338
00:16:42,769 --> 00:16:44,603
Your going rate is 100
barrels of oil.
339
00:16:44,671 --> 00:16:46,972
Whoa, that's Beyoncé volume.
340
00:16:59,969 --> 00:17:02,638
Wait one hairy, banana-peeling,
scene-stealing minute here!
341
00:17:02,706 --> 00:17:03,739
Wha...?
What'd I do?
342
00:17:03,807 --> 00:17:05,441
Whose show is this?
Huh? Huh?!
343
00:17:05,508 --> 00:17:06,909
Whose name is on
that sign?!
344
00:17:08,611 --> 00:17:10,746
Yeah, that's right,
little buddy boy!
345
00:17:10,814 --> 00:17:11,880
Krusty! Krusty!
346
00:17:11,948 --> 00:17:14,283
And don't you ever
upstage him
347
00:17:14,351 --> 00:17:16,552
or craft service will be
serving chimp tacos!
348
00:17:17,837 --> 00:17:20,072
Yeah, I'd like to squeeze
a lime on that!
349
00:17:24,394 --> 00:17:26,562
Now apologize to Krusty!
350
00:17:30,367 --> 00:17:31,467
Not so hard.
351
00:17:31,534 --> 00:17:33,535
She'll know
we have a past.
352
00:17:33,603 --> 00:17:35,688
What's going on,
yanking me out of my schvitz?!
353
00:17:35,755 --> 00:17:37,673
I look like an unwrapped mummy.
354
00:17:37,741 --> 00:17:40,075
Ooh! Idea for sketch:
rapping mummy.
355
00:17:40,143 --> 00:17:42,211
Notorious T-U-T.
It writes itself.
356
00:17:42,278 --> 00:17:43,645
Find someone to write it.
357
00:17:43,713 --> 00:17:44,780
Where's Annie?
358
00:17:44,848 --> 00:17:46,532
Annie is what we need
to discuss.
359
00:17:46,599 --> 00:17:48,100
She's out of control.
360
00:17:48,168 --> 00:17:50,669
She called a network
vice president "unhip."
361
00:17:50,737 --> 00:17:53,188
And he reads GQ
and he's straight.
362
00:17:53,256 --> 00:17:55,290
And recently
we had this incident.
363
00:17:55,358 --> 00:17:58,293
Wait!
What are you doing?!
364
00:17:58,361 --> 00:17:59,678
She claimed this intern
365
00:17:59,746 --> 00:18:01,513
sharpened her pencil
"too pointy."
366
00:18:01,581 --> 00:18:04,950
Oh, I see what's
going on here:
367
00:18:05,018 --> 00:18:07,419
if a woman does it,
she's a bitch.
368
00:18:07,487 --> 00:18:10,155
But in a man, those traits would
be considered...
369
00:18:10,223 --> 00:18:11,006
Uh-oh!
370
00:18:14,511 --> 00:18:17,463
That hallway looks
familiar.
371
00:18:17,530 --> 00:18:19,248
I'm only getting
college credit for this!
372
00:18:19,315 --> 00:18:20,332
My legs!
373
00:18:25,565 --> 00:18:27,849
Wow, I can't believe
we're in the audience
374
00:18:27,850 --> 00:18:29,318
of a pay-cable show!
375
00:18:29,753 --> 00:18:33,556
And now, ladies and gentlemen,
Krusty's favorite part
376
00:18:33,624 --> 00:18:36,526
of the taping: talking to the
audience before the show.
377
00:18:36,593 --> 00:18:39,445
Hey-how-are-ya-don't-talk-to-me
-the-show's-starting.
378
00:18:41,098 --> 00:18:45,985
And now... the clown
that never lets you down...
379
00:18:46,053 --> 00:18:50,556
Krusty the... Clown!
380
00:18:52,776 --> 00:18:55,812
Hey, hey, premium cable
subscribers!
381
00:18:55,879 --> 00:19:00,183
Tonight we've got the cast of
the hit Boardwalk Vampire!
382
00:19:00,250 --> 00:19:02,885
We've also got Janeane Garofolo.
383
00:19:02,953 --> 00:19:04,253
Wait a minute!
384
00:19:04,321 --> 00:19:06,823
We have very specific
language in our contract
385
00:19:06,890 --> 00:19:10,460
saying "No guests who are
funnier than Krusty."
386
00:19:10,527 --> 00:19:13,329
Janeane has promised to be
strictly angry and polemical.
387
00:19:13,397 --> 00:19:15,798
And I'll keep my promise,
like Obama did with Guantanamo.
388
00:19:17,334 --> 00:19:20,470
Oh! That's funnier
than I can ever hope to be!
389
00:19:20,537 --> 00:19:23,306
Sorry, Janeane.
Grab some shrimp and go.
390
00:19:23,374 --> 00:19:25,808
You can fill
your stupid beret once.
391
00:19:25,876 --> 00:19:29,295
Burn on you! I brought
my expandable beret!
392
00:19:30,814 --> 00:19:32,765
Krusty, this is
exactly the kind of meddling
393
00:19:32,833 --> 00:19:34,767
that only we're allowed to do.
394
00:19:34,852 --> 00:19:36,386
Fire her as we discussed!
395
00:19:36,453 --> 00:19:37,854
Don't make us
threaten you.
396
00:19:37,921 --> 00:19:39,589
Krusty?!
397
00:19:39,656 --> 00:19:40,857
What did you tell them?
398
00:19:40,924 --> 00:19:43,226
Oh, I, I did that laugh
that people interpret
399
00:19:43,293 --> 00:19:44,260
any way they want.
400
00:19:46,730 --> 00:19:48,931
I thought that laugh meant
"I love you."
401
00:19:48,999 --> 00:19:51,167
It can...
402
00:19:51,235 --> 00:19:52,769
Well, there's no room
for waffling anymore.
403
00:19:52,836 --> 00:19:54,704
You're with me
forever or never.
404
00:19:54,772 --> 00:19:55,722
Which is it?
405
00:19:55,789 --> 00:19:57,890
What, uh, when you said...
406
00:19:59,460 --> 00:20:01,060
I'm paying extra
for this channel?
407
00:20:01,128 --> 00:20:03,529
Hasn't been good since
The Wire. Ah, who am I kidding?
408
00:20:03,597 --> 00:20:04,997
I never watched The Wire.
409
00:20:05,065 --> 00:20:07,600
Had to bluff my way through
so many conversations.
410
00:20:07,668 --> 00:20:08,901
Well, Annie,
411
00:20:08,969 --> 00:20:12,688
I think you know my answer.
412
00:20:12,756 --> 00:20:17,577
Wow, Krusty, adjusting
for age, that was amazing!
413
00:20:17,644 --> 00:20:20,179
Hey, hey.
And the best thing is
414
00:20:20,247 --> 00:20:24,233
I kept my word
and I got a new show.
415
00:20:24,301 --> 00:20:27,303
Sex over 60: The Mechanics
of the Impossible. Take two!
416
00:20:33,007 --> 00:20:35,141
Is it over?
Can I open my eyes?
417
00:20:35,209 --> 00:20:39,403
Hey, come on, wake up.
418
00:20:39,404 --> 00:20:46,404
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
WEB-DL by <3 AWiNTER <3