1
00:00:04,118 --> 00:00:07,154
Hi. Did Sheldon change
the Wi-Fi password again?
2
00:00:07,706 --> 00:00:09,915
Yeah, it's "Penny already eats our food.
3
00:00:09,915 --> 00:00:12,517
She can pay for Wi-Fi."
4
00:00:13,271 --> 00:00:14,638
No spaces.
5
00:00:14,638 --> 00:00:15,939
Okay.
6
00:00:15,939 --> 00:00:17,741
If you can't get me to
stop eating your food,
7
00:00:17,741 --> 00:00:19,776
what makes you think you can get
me to stop using your Wi-Fi?
8
00:00:19,776 --> 00:00:22,112
I believe that you're
capable of great change.
9
00:00:22,112 --> 00:00:26,516
Like when I finally got you to
stop saying "Valentimes Day""
10
00:00:27,619 --> 00:00:28,759
You want to hear something weird?
11
00:00:28,759 --> 00:00:29,587
Sure.
12
00:00:29,587 --> 00:00:31,321
In the year 2000,
13
00:00:31,321 --> 00:00:36,627
Pope John Paul II was named an
honorary Harlem Globetrotter.
14
00:00:38,429 --> 00:00:40,831
What are you talking about?
15
00:00:40,831 --> 00:00:43,967
You asked Penny if she wanted
to hear something weird.
16
00:00:43,967 --> 00:00:46,570
Yeah, because I have
something weird to tell her.
17
00:00:46,570 --> 00:00:47,320
Oh.
18
00:00:48,007 --> 00:00:50,240
I thought it was a game.
19
00:00:51,075 --> 00:00:52,843
What's yours?
20
00:00:52,843 --> 00:00:54,978
There's this guy, Jimmy Speckerman,
21
00:00:54,978 --> 00:00:57,214
who used to torment me in high school.
22
00:00:57,214 --> 00:00:59,182
He sent me a message through Facebook.
23
00:00:59,182 --> 00:01:01,551
He's in town and wants to have drinks.
24
00:01:01,551 --> 00:01:04,621
Okay, Penny, if it were a game,
here are your choices.
25
00:01:04,621 --> 00:01:06,323
An e-mail from an old acquaintance,
26
00:01:06,323 --> 00:01:09,226
or the head of one of the
largest religious institutions
27
00:01:09,226 --> 00:01:12,996
in the world slam dunking to
"Sweet Georgia Brown." Pick.
28
00:01:15,867 --> 00:01:19,102
Just do it, 'cause he's not gonna let it go.
29
00:01:19,102 --> 00:01:20,370
Basketball Pope.
30
00:01:20,370 --> 00:01:22,439
And that's how it's done.
31
00:01:23,975 --> 00:01:25,809
What are you gonna do about your bully?
32
00:01:25,809 --> 00:01:27,744
- Are you gonna see him?
- I don't know.
33
00:01:27,744 --> 00:01:31,114
Is this the fellow who peed
in your Hawaiian Punch?
34
00:01:31,114 --> 00:01:33,550
No, that was a different guy.
35
00:01:33,550 --> 00:01:35,986
Was he the one who wedgied you so hard,
36
00:01:35,986 --> 00:01:37,254
your testicle reascended,
37
00:01:37,254 --> 00:01:39,022
and you spent your whole Christmas break
38
00:01:39,022 --> 00:01:41,558
waiting for it to come back down?
39
00:01:43,594 --> 00:01:46,830
No, that was a different, different guy.
40
00:01:46,830 --> 00:01:50,834
Was he the one who used
your head to open a nut?
41
00:01:50,834 --> 00:01:51,584
No.
44
00:01:58,843 --> 00:02:00,110
No, but, actually,
45
00:02:00,110 --> 00:02:01,912
that was this guy's sister.
46
00:02:01,912 --> 00:02:03,880
All right, well, what do you think he wants?
47
00:02:03,880 --> 00:02:05,115
I don't know.
48
00:02:05,115 --> 00:02:07,184
You know, the holidays are
just around the corner.
49
00:02:07,184 --> 00:02:08,318
Maybe he wants to see
50
00:02:08,318 --> 00:02:10,187
if he can lodge the other testicle up there.
51
00:02:10,187 --> 00:02:13,290
I told you. That was a different guy.
52
00:02:13,290 --> 00:02:15,359
Hmm. That's too bad. We could have spent
53
00:02:15,359 --> 00:02:18,195
New Year's Eve waiting for the ball to drop.
54
00:02:25,136 --> 00:02:28,805
âTS Our whole universe was in a hot,
dense state âTS
55
00:02:28,805 --> 00:02:32,109
âTS Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! âTS
56
00:02:32,109 --> 00:02:33,710
âTS The Earth began to cool âTS
57
00:02:33,710 --> 00:02:36,246
âTS The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools âTS
58
00:02:36,246 --> 00:02:38,949
âTS We built the Wall âTS âTS
We built the pyramids âTS
59
00:02:38,949 --> 00:02:41,585
âTS Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery âTS
60
00:02:41,585 --> 00:02:43,520
âTS That all started with a big bang âTS
61
00:02:43,520 --> 00:02:45,489
âTS Bang! âTS
62
00:02:45,489 --> 00:02:48,514
The Big Bang Theory 5x11 The
Speckerman Recurrence Original Air Date on December 8, 2011
63
00:02:53,539 --> 00:02:55,707
It's 2:00 a.m. What are you doing up?
64
00:02:55,707 --> 00:03:00,712
Nobel Prize acceptance ceremony
streaming live from Stockholm.
65
00:03:00,712 --> 00:03:02,214
Sure. You want to see
66
00:03:02,214 --> 00:03:05,083
what all the scientists
are wearing this year.
67
00:03:05,083 --> 00:03:06,985
Look at these men.
68
00:03:06,985 --> 00:03:10,255
They've managed to win the top
science prize in the world
69
00:03:10,255 --> 00:03:13,091
with no more understanding
of the quantum underpinnings
70
00:03:13,091 --> 00:03:15,193
of the expansion of the early universe
71
00:03:15,193 --> 00:03:17,262
than God gave a goose.
72
00:03:18,965 --> 00:03:20,098
You should pay attention, Leonard.
73
00:03:20,098 --> 00:03:21,933
Someday this could be you up there.
74
00:03:22,802 --> 00:03:24,336
Thanks.
75
00:03:24,336 --> 00:03:25,637
So,
76
00:03:25,637 --> 00:03:27,139
what's got you up?
77
00:03:27,139 --> 00:03:29,574
Did you have a bad clam?
78
00:03:29,574 --> 00:03:31,243
I didn't have clams.
79
00:03:31,243 --> 00:03:33,178
I don't watch you 24 hours a day.
80
00:03:33,178 --> 00:03:35,280
I don't know what you do.
81
00:03:35,280 --> 00:03:38,350
It's this Jimmy Speckerman thing.
82
00:03:38,350 --> 00:03:41,319
I can't decide if I should
agree to see him or not.
83
00:03:41,319 --> 00:03:42,587
Of course that might be
84
00:03:42,587 --> 00:03:44,556
because the last time I ran into him,
85
00:03:44,556 --> 00:03:47,225
he made me floss with my own shoelaces.
86
00:03:47,225 --> 00:03:49,661
Wear loafers.
87
00:03:49,661 --> 00:03:53,198
Look at Dr. Saul Perlmutter up there,
88
00:03:53,198 --> 00:03:55,400
clutching that Nobel Prize.
89
00:03:55,400 --> 00:03:56,635
What's the matter, Saul?
90
00:03:56,635 --> 00:03:58,270
You afraid someone's going to steal it?
91
00:03:58,270 --> 00:04:00,839
Like you stole Einstein's
cosmological constant?
92
00:04:00,839 --> 00:04:03,041
You know what?
93
00:04:03,041 --> 00:04:05,844
I am tired of living in fear of this guy.
94
00:04:05,844 --> 00:04:07,879
I'm gonna go see him and finally say
95
00:04:07,879 --> 00:04:10,849
all the things I should
have said in high school.
96
00:04:10,849 --> 00:04:12,551
You know, "Pick on someone your own size""
97
00:04:12,551 --> 00:04:16,388
"You did not have sex with my mother."
98
00:04:16,388 --> 00:04:20,358
And "Yes, I do know why I'm hitting myself."
99
00:04:20,358 --> 00:04:22,861
Oh, now Perlmutter's
shaking the king's hand.
100
00:04:22,861 --> 00:04:24,563
Yeah, check for your watch, Gustaf.
101
00:04:24,563 --> 00:04:26,331
He might have lifted it.
102
00:04:28,367 --> 00:04:30,569
I love this dress.
103
00:04:30,569 --> 00:04:32,404
How come I never see you wear it?
104
00:04:32,404 --> 00:04:34,573
'Cause when I wear it, it's a shirt.
105
00:04:35,675 --> 00:04:38,477
So, what's Howard doing tonight?
106
00:04:38,477 --> 00:04:41,580
Oh, they all went with Leonard
to confront his childhood bully.
107
00:04:41,580 --> 00:04:42,848
Oh, terrific.
108
00:04:42,848 --> 00:04:46,785
High school quarterback
against four mathletes.
109
00:04:46,785 --> 00:04:47,886
When Leonard gets back,
110
00:04:47,886 --> 00:04:49,421
I'd love to check his serotonin levels.
111
00:04:49,421 --> 00:04:52,290
Do you think he'd let me draw
a syringe full of his blood?
112
00:04:52,290 --> 00:04:54,059
Hmm, he's not crazy about needles,
113
00:04:54,059 --> 00:04:56,094
but if you get him to go jogging,
114
00:04:56,094 --> 00:04:57,896
it'll just pour out of his nose.
115
00:04:58,865 --> 00:05:00,065
I don't think
116
00:05:00,065 --> 00:05:02,701
I can meet the girl who
was always mean to me.
117
00:05:02,701 --> 00:05:04,202
Tammy Bodnick.
118
00:05:04,202 --> 00:05:06,138
One time while I was in gym class,
119
00:05:06,138 --> 00:05:07,239
she stole all my clothes
120
00:05:07,239 --> 00:05:10,075
and left an elf costume in my locker.
121
00:05:10,075 --> 00:05:11,977
Oh, that's awful.
122
00:05:11,977 --> 00:05:15,180
Worst part was, it was too big.
123
00:05:16,449 --> 00:05:17,749
That's nothing.
124
00:05:17,749 --> 00:05:21,052
In ninth grade, the girls put
Rogaine in my hand lotion.
125
00:05:22,021 --> 00:05:24,289
Within six months,
the nicknames began to fly.
126
00:05:24,289 --> 00:05:27,793
I think the one that hurt the
most was Gorilla Fingers Fowler.
127
00:05:29,661 --> 00:05:32,063
Wow. You poor thing.
128
00:05:32,063 --> 00:05:34,065
What about you? Oh.
129
00:05:34,065 --> 00:05:36,201
I don't know. I guess my
school was a nice place.
130
00:05:36,201 --> 00:05:37,369
We didn't really have bullies.
131
00:05:37,369 --> 00:05:40,205
Come on, no one ever gave
anyone mean nicknames
132
00:05:40,205 --> 00:05:42,841
or picked on them or put
gum in their hairy knuckles
133
00:05:42,841 --> 00:05:46,511
so the school nurse had to use
peanut butter to get it out?
134
00:05:46,511 --> 00:05:47,846
No, we weren't really like that.
135
00:05:47,846 --> 00:05:50,015
I mean, look, we played
pranks on each other,
136
00:05:50,015 --> 00:05:51,116
but it was never mean.
137
00:05:51,116 --> 00:05:52,617
Like, okay, this one girl, Kathy Geiger,
138
00:05:52,617 --> 00:05:54,152
got really good grades,
so we blindfolded her,
139
00:05:54,152 --> 00:05:56,388
tied her up and left her
in a cornfield overnight.
140
00:05:58,891 --> 00:06:00,859
Oh, my God, that's awful.
141
00:06:00,859 --> 00:06:03,428
No, it was funny. Everyone laughed.
142
00:06:03,428 --> 00:06:05,730
Did Kathy Geiger laugh?
143
00:06:05,730 --> 00:06:07,499
Uh, probably. It's hard to say.
144
00:06:07,499 --> 00:06:10,435
She kind of had an ear of corn in her mouth.
145
00:06:10,435 --> 00:06:12,671
Who would have thought
146
00:06:12,671 --> 00:06:16,641
Fuzzy Fingers Fowler is
best friends with a bully?
147
00:06:16,641 --> 00:06:19,311
What? I was not a bully.
148
00:06:19,311 --> 00:06:20,912
Kind of sounds like you were.
149
00:06:20,912 --> 00:06:23,348
And maybe a felon.
150
00:06:25,985 --> 00:06:28,353
Shh. That's how you wind up in a cornfield.
151
00:06:33,459 --> 00:06:35,227
Is that him over there?
152
00:06:35,227 --> 00:06:35,977
No.
153
00:06:36,663 --> 00:06:38,630
How about that guy?
154
00:06:38,630 --> 00:06:40,966
He looks like he'd hate you.
155
00:06:40,966 --> 00:06:43,335
You know, I can really do this by myself.
156
00:06:43,335 --> 00:06:44,970
Hey, we're here to support you, buddy.
157
00:06:44,970 --> 00:06:46,571
No, you're not. You're here to see
158
00:06:46,571 --> 00:06:48,640
if I get my underwear pulled over my head.
159
00:06:48,640 --> 00:06:51,343
You wore underwear? You fool.
160
00:06:52,778 --> 00:06:54,913
So, have you figured out what
you're going to say to him?
161
00:06:54,913 --> 00:06:57,515
You bet. I am going to make him apologize
162
00:06:57,515 --> 00:07:00,385
for all the crap he pulled on me in school.
163
00:07:00,385 --> 00:07:02,287
That's quite a list.
164
00:07:02,287 --> 00:07:03,688
I can't read your handwriting.
165
00:07:03,688 --> 00:07:04,856
What's that word?
166
00:07:04,856 --> 00:07:06,324
"Scrotum."
167
00:07:06,324 --> 00:07:09,194
What's that one?
168
00:07:09,194 --> 00:07:11,463
Uh, "stapled."
169
00:07:12,865 --> 00:07:13,825
Leonard.
170
00:07:16,303 --> 00:07:17,143
Oh, hi.
171
00:07:18,970 --> 00:07:21,373
Holy crap, man, it's good to see you.
172
00:07:21,373 --> 00:07:24,009
Yeah. You, too. Uh, Jimmy, this is
173
00:07:24,009 --> 00:07:25,377
Sheldon and Raj and Howard.
174
00:07:25,377 --> 00:07:28,013
Hi. Fellas... Hey, can I get a beer?
175
00:07:28,013 --> 00:07:29,848
Wow. Look at you.
176
00:07:29,848 --> 00:07:31,349
Little Leonard Hofstadter.
177
00:07:31,349 --> 00:07:33,218
I hear you're a big-time scientist now.
178
00:07:33,218 --> 00:07:35,654
And there's the first zinger. Ouch.
179
00:07:35,654 --> 00:07:38,323
I'm doing okay, I guess.
180
00:07:38,323 --> 00:07:40,525
Okay? Come on, I read online
181
00:07:40,525 --> 00:07:42,227
you're a physicist at a university,
182
00:07:42,227 --> 00:07:43,361
you won some medal.
183
00:07:43,361 --> 00:07:45,063
The Newcomb medal.
184
00:07:45,063 --> 00:07:46,398
Yeah, congratulations.
185
00:07:46,398 --> 00:07:47,866
Congratulations?
186
00:07:47,866 --> 00:07:49,801
The Newcomb medal? Oh, please.
187
00:07:49,801 --> 00:07:51,202
That's the scientific equivalent
188
00:07:51,202 --> 00:07:53,638
of a smiley face sticker on your homework.
189
00:07:53,638 --> 00:07:56,141
From what I read,
it sounded like a big deal.
190
00:07:56,141 --> 00:07:58,543
Oh, good Lord, are we going to stand here
191
00:07:58,543 --> 00:08:00,712
and listen to him tear
Leonard apart like this?
192
00:08:01,747 --> 00:08:03,648
Hey, I won a Newcomb medal, too.
193
00:08:03,648 --> 00:08:05,050
My point.
194
00:08:06,285 --> 00:08:08,119
You should have seen
this guy back in the day.
195
00:08:08,119 --> 00:08:11,022
Huh? He was so little,
he could fit in just about anywhere.
196
00:08:11,022 --> 00:08:13,124
Lockers, trash cans.
197
00:08:13,124 --> 00:08:16,328
Oh, man, how did you get
inside that backpack?
198
00:08:17,663 --> 00:08:19,464
Oh, I can't take all the credit.
199
00:08:19,464 --> 00:08:21,766
You helped a lot. Yeah.
200
00:08:21,766 --> 00:08:23,668
We were practically a comedy team.
201
00:08:23,668 --> 00:08:27,339
Like the Black Death and Europe.
202
00:08:27,339 --> 00:08:31,209
Jimmy, I'm kind of curious
why you wanted to see me.
203
00:08:31,209 --> 00:08:33,078
Okay, here it is.
204
00:08:33,078 --> 00:08:34,546
I have this great money-making idea.
205
00:08:34,546 --> 00:08:36,681
I just need a gear head to
get it to the finish line.
206
00:08:36,681 --> 00:08:38,350
Technically, Howard's the gear head.
207
00:08:38,350 --> 00:08:41,386
Leonard's just a dime store laser jockey.
208
00:08:41,386 --> 00:08:42,854
What's the idea?
209
00:08:42,854 --> 00:08:44,589
This is just between us, right?
210
00:08:44,589 --> 00:08:45,857
- Right.
- Okay.
211
00:08:45,857 --> 00:08:47,826
What do you think about a pair of glasses
212
00:08:47,826 --> 00:08:50,261
that makes any movie you want into 3D?
213
00:08:50,261 --> 00:08:51,629
That sounds amazing.
214
00:08:51,629 --> 00:08:55,600
First movie I'm watching-- Annie.
215
00:08:56,736 --> 00:08:59,671
How exactly would these glasses work?
216
00:08:59,671 --> 00:09:02,707
How the hell should I know?
That's why I need a nerd.
217
00:09:02,707 --> 00:09:06,544
I don't think something
like that's even possible.
218
00:09:06,544 --> 00:09:08,179
Aw, come on, you can figure it out.
219
00:09:08,179 --> 00:09:09,881
You're like the smartest
guy I've ever known.
220
00:09:09,881 --> 00:09:11,116
The smartest...?!
221
00:09:11,116 --> 00:09:13,952
All right, you know, I may not have
222
00:09:13,952 --> 00:09:18,089
a firm grasp on sarcasm,
but even I know that was a doozy.
223
00:09:19,325 --> 00:09:21,926
Leonard, you can't live in
fear of this man forever.
224
00:09:21,926 --> 00:09:23,495
Sheldon, I got this.
225
00:09:23,495 --> 00:09:25,030
You clearly don't.
226
00:09:25,030 --> 00:09:27,399
What my spineless friend
lacks the courage to say
227
00:09:27,399 --> 00:09:29,467
is you're a terrible person
228
00:09:29,467 --> 00:09:30,735
who took advantage
229
00:09:30,735 --> 00:09:33,938
of his tiny size, his uncoordinated nature
230
00:09:33,938 --> 00:09:36,041
and his congenital lack of masculinity.
231
00:09:36,041 --> 00:09:37,075
Sheldon...
232
00:09:37,075 --> 00:09:38,910
Leonard, I platonically love you, man,
233
00:09:38,910 --> 00:09:40,345
but face it, you're a mess.
234
00:09:42,281 --> 00:09:44,983
I don't understand.
235
00:09:44,983 --> 00:09:48,987
I think what he's trying to say
is that maybe in high school
236
00:09:48,987 --> 00:09:50,555
you picked on me a little bit.
237
00:09:50,555 --> 00:09:52,390
A little bit?
238
00:09:52,390 --> 00:09:55,493
The man Super Glued Hershey's
Kisses to your nipples.
239
00:09:57,730 --> 00:09:59,931
That's funny because those
aren't the kind of kisses
240
00:09:59,931 --> 00:10:01,433
you want on your nipples.
241
00:10:02,868 --> 00:10:04,135
What is that?
242
00:10:04,135 --> 00:10:07,238
This is a list of your
heinous acts against Leonard.
243
00:10:07,238 --> 00:10:09,808
One of which is certainly the
cause of him wetting his bed
244
00:10:09,808 --> 00:10:11,242
well into his teens.
245
00:10:12,278 --> 00:10:15,814
14 is not... Aw, never mind.
246
00:10:17,516 --> 00:10:20,018
What's this word?
247
00:10:20,018 --> 00:10:21,686
"Nancy."
248
00:10:22,521 --> 00:10:26,524
You called me Nancy for three years.
249
00:10:27,593 --> 00:10:30,862
You really need to work on your penmanship.
250
00:10:30,862 --> 00:10:33,965
Oh, man, I...
251
00:10:33,965 --> 00:10:36,334
I don't know what to say.
252
00:10:36,334 --> 00:10:38,470
I always thought we were
just having some fun.
253
00:10:38,470 --> 00:10:40,472
It wasn't fun for me.
254
00:10:41,373 --> 00:10:42,841
You're being too kind, Leonard.
255
00:10:42,841 --> 00:10:44,976
You ruined him.
256
00:10:45,911 --> 00:10:47,278
Come on, guys.
257
00:10:47,278 --> 00:10:49,481
That was pretty badass, dude.
258
00:10:49,481 --> 00:10:51,216
I help the weak.
259
00:10:51,216 --> 00:10:53,251
It's yet another way I'm
exactly like Batman.
260
00:10:53,251 --> 00:10:57,689
Hey, for the record, Jimmy
wasn't the reason I wet the bed.
261
00:10:57,689 --> 00:11:01,159
That one has my mother written all over it.
262
00:11:06,208 --> 00:11:07,608
Anyway, I'm really sorry
263
00:11:07,608 --> 00:11:09,844
I made fun of your stutter in high school.
264
00:11:09,844 --> 00:11:11,912
You're doing great.
265
00:11:11,912 --> 00:11:13,281
Uh-huh.
266
00:11:14,149 --> 00:11:15,449
Uh-huh.
267
00:11:15,449 --> 00:11:18,486
Oh, God, just finish the sentence.
268
00:11:22,257 --> 00:11:25,760
Okay, well, I'm sorry
you feel that way. Bye.
269
00:11:25,760 --> 00:11:28,496
No one wants to hear my apologies.
270
00:11:28,496 --> 00:11:30,498
I think your mistake is
doing it over the phone.
271
00:11:30,498 --> 00:11:33,167
If they could look into your eyes,
they'd melt.
272
00:11:35,203 --> 00:11:37,305
Penny, it doesn't matter
what you did in the past.
273
00:11:37,305 --> 00:11:38,973
You're a good person now.
274
00:11:38,973 --> 00:11:40,474
That's easy for you to say.
275
00:11:40,474 --> 00:11:43,611
You weren't just called a "b-b-b-b-bitch."
276
00:11:43,611 --> 00:11:48,416
Perhaps you could assuage
your guilt through altruism.
277
00:11:50,919 --> 00:11:53,688
Which word's tripping you up?
278
00:11:53,688 --> 00:11:56,290
"Assuage," or "altruism"?
279
00:11:56,290 --> 00:11:57,540
Both.
280
00:12:00,262 --> 00:12:02,997
You'll feel better by doing
something nice for someone.
281
00:12:02,997 --> 00:12:05,599
- I actually knew that.
- I never doubted you.
282
00:12:06,935 --> 00:12:09,804
Every other week I serve
at a soup kitchen downtown.
283
00:12:09,804 --> 00:12:12,039
Ooh, I can't do that.
284
00:12:12,039 --> 00:12:15,009
If I stand over a steaming pot,
my hair just goes boing!
285
00:12:16,345 --> 00:12:17,812
What else could I do?
286
00:12:17,812 --> 00:12:20,681
There's Habitat for Humanity--
building houses for the poor.
287
00:12:20,681 --> 00:12:22,683
Okay, come on, I don't
even have my own house--
288
00:12:22,683 --> 00:12:24,118
I'm going to build one for someone else?
289
00:12:24,118 --> 00:12:27,588
How about donating some of your clothes?
290
00:12:27,588 --> 00:12:31,525
Oh, my God, that's perfect.
'Cause I have so many clothes
291
00:12:31,525 --> 00:12:33,027
I don't wear, and they're
just taking up space,
292
00:12:33,027 --> 00:12:36,030
and I go shopping to buy more stuff
and I have no place to put it.
293
00:12:36,030 --> 00:12:37,298
This will totally fix that.
294
00:12:37,298 --> 00:12:38,866
What about helping people?
295
00:12:38,866 --> 00:12:41,268
And helping people.
296
00:12:42,571 --> 00:12:45,172
Here's your cocoa.
297
00:12:45,172 --> 00:12:47,775
- Oh, half and half instead of whole milk?
- Yes.
298
00:12:47,775 --> 00:12:50,177
- Heated to precisely 183 degrees?
- Yes.
299
00:12:50,177 --> 00:12:52,079
Seven little marshmallows, no more no less?
300
00:12:52,079 --> 00:12:54,382
You got one for good luck.
301
00:12:55,484 --> 00:12:56,884
I'll get it.
302
00:12:56,884 --> 00:12:59,353
One for good luck.
303
00:12:59,353 --> 00:13:02,056
Must be the kind of math
they do at Princeton.
304
00:13:05,460 --> 00:13:06,460
Hey.
305
00:13:07,330 --> 00:13:08,763
What are you doing here?
306
00:13:08,763 --> 00:13:12,933
I want to apologize for...
stapling your balls and...
307
00:13:14,136 --> 00:13:17,304
...throwing you naked in
the girls' locker room,
308
00:13:17,304 --> 00:13:19,206
stuffing that parrot down your pants.
309
00:13:21,009 --> 00:13:22,143
What's this word?
310
00:13:22,844 --> 00:13:26,113
- "Laxative."
- Oh, right.
311
00:13:26,113 --> 00:13:28,883
Junior prom.
312
00:13:28,883 --> 00:13:32,019
That was not cool, man.
313
00:13:32,019 --> 00:13:34,388
I am so, so sorry.
314
00:13:34,388 --> 00:13:35,756
Really?
315
00:13:35,756 --> 00:13:39,293
Yeah. I just hope you can forgive me.
316
00:13:39,293 --> 00:13:40,461
Uh...
317
00:13:40,461 --> 00:13:41,962
Yeah.
318
00:13:41,962 --> 00:13:43,063
Sure, I guess.
319
00:13:43,063 --> 00:13:46,367
You're a beautiful guy.
320
00:13:46,367 --> 00:13:48,369
Well, thanks, Jimmy.
321
00:13:48,369 --> 00:13:49,737
Okay, I got to go.
322
00:13:49,737 --> 00:13:51,872
Are you okay to drive?
323
00:13:51,872 --> 00:13:54,074
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I drive better drunk.
324
00:13:54,074 --> 00:13:56,744
You know, it makes you pay attention.
325
00:13:58,747 --> 00:14:01,148
No, no, no, come on in.
I'll make you a cup of coffee.
326
00:14:01,148 --> 00:14:02,850
- I wouldn't be imposing?
- No.
327
00:14:02,850 --> 00:14:03,850
Yes.
328
00:14:05,054 --> 00:14:08,322
Sheldon, we can't let him drive.
329
00:14:08,322 --> 00:14:10,791
Then take away his keys and
make him wander the streets
330
00:14:10,791 --> 00:14:12,726
with the other drunks.
331
00:14:14,496 --> 00:14:17,264
You remember Sheldon and Raj and Howard.
332
00:14:17,264 --> 00:14:18,833
Not really, no.
333
00:14:20,101 --> 00:14:21,535
It's funny, huh, Leonard?
334
00:14:21,535 --> 00:14:24,438
Back in school, I was the
winner and you were the loser.
335
00:14:24,438 --> 00:14:25,506
And now we're reversed.
336
00:14:25,506 --> 00:14:28,042
You're the winner.
337
00:14:28,042 --> 00:14:31,011
You'd think a winner could
make a decent cup of cocoa.
338
00:14:32,714 --> 00:14:35,716
- You mind if I use your bathroom?
- Yeah, just back there.
339
00:14:38,687 --> 00:14:40,287
How about that?
340
00:14:40,287 --> 00:14:43,390
After all these years,
your big bad high school bully
341
00:14:43,390 --> 00:14:45,159
finally apologizes.
342
00:14:45,159 --> 00:14:48,028
Yeah. It kind of rekindles your faith
343
00:14:48,028 --> 00:14:50,097
in the basic goodness of people.
344
00:14:50,097 --> 00:14:52,700
You know what would be nice?
345
00:14:52,700 --> 00:14:53,434
What's that?
346
00:14:53,434 --> 00:14:55,603
As a symbolic gesture
347
00:14:55,603 --> 00:14:58,772
to all the bullies who've
tormented us for years,
348
00:14:58,772 --> 00:15:03,777
we open our home to Jimmy and
once he's asleep we kill him.
349
00:15:08,450 --> 00:15:11,418
I said it would be nice--
I didn't say we should do it.
350
00:15:13,955 --> 00:15:17,458
I feel just like Mother Teresa.
351
00:15:17,458 --> 00:15:19,226
Except for the virgin part.
352
00:15:19,226 --> 00:15:22,229
That ship sailed a long time ago.
353
00:15:22,229 --> 00:15:27,001
I think Mother Teresa would
have washed the clothes first.
354
00:15:27,001 --> 00:15:28,903
Yeah, well, I bet her laundry room
355
00:15:28,903 --> 00:15:30,871
wasn't down five flights of stairs.
356
00:15:30,871 --> 00:15:34,742
You know, giving really
is better than receiving.
357
00:15:34,742 --> 00:15:38,546
I used to think it was such a cliche,
but it seems to be the...
358
00:15:38,546 --> 00:15:42,216
Look at these cute jeans
someone just threw away.
359
00:15:42,216 --> 00:15:44,318
Donated.
360
00:15:46,855 --> 00:15:50,591
Yes, to a poor waitress
who loves a boot cut.
361
00:15:51,626 --> 00:15:52,626
Penny.
362
00:15:52,626 --> 00:15:54,728
Come on, they would be so cute on me...
363
00:15:54,728 --> 00:15:56,931
They go great with this sweater!
364
00:15:56,931 --> 00:15:59,066
I don't think Mother Teresa...
365
00:15:59,066 --> 00:16:01,001
Oh, that is adorable.
366
00:16:12,380 --> 00:16:13,948
Leonard.
367
00:16:13,948 --> 00:16:16,016
- Yeah.
- In case it comes up again,
368
00:16:16,016 --> 00:16:19,820
this right here is an imposition.
369
00:16:21,323 --> 00:16:22,790
What was I supposed to do?
370
00:16:22,790 --> 00:16:24,525
He needed a place to sleep it off.
371
00:16:24,525 --> 00:16:26,093
You're soft.
372
00:16:26,093 --> 00:16:29,496
This world's going to chew
you up and spit you out.
373
00:16:31,498 --> 00:16:34,301
When did I have tacos?
374
00:16:35,937 --> 00:16:37,438
Morning, Jimmy.
375
00:16:37,438 --> 00:16:41,075
Oh, there it is, tacos.
376
00:16:41,075 --> 00:16:44,211
Man, I tied one on.
377
00:16:44,211 --> 00:16:45,379
Yeah, you did.
378
00:16:45,379 --> 00:16:48,515
So, uh, listen,
it was great to see you again.
379
00:16:48,515 --> 00:16:51,051
And thanks for the apology.
380
00:16:51,051 --> 00:16:53,187
What apology?
381
00:16:53,187 --> 00:16:56,357
For all the crappy stuff you
did to me in high school.
382
00:16:56,357 --> 00:16:58,692
Geez, you're still harping on that?
383
00:16:58,692 --> 00:16:59,960
What a puss.
384
00:16:59,960 --> 00:17:02,429
That's my French toast.
385
00:17:02,429 --> 00:17:04,098
It's good.
386
00:17:04,098 --> 00:17:06,834
You really know your way
around a kitchen, Nancy.
387
00:17:08,503 --> 00:17:10,739
I'm not going to say I told you so,
388
00:17:10,739 --> 00:17:12,312
but we could have killed him.
389
00:17:15,210 --> 00:17:18,245
I might kill him right now.
390
00:17:18,245 --> 00:17:20,881
The Dark Knight has your back.
391
00:17:20,881 --> 00:17:23,384
He's scared, but he has your back.
392
00:17:23,384 --> 00:17:25,586
Okay, Jimmy, it's time for you to go.
393
00:17:25,586 --> 00:17:27,054
Yeah, all right, let me just finish this.
394
00:17:27,054 --> 00:17:29,423
No, you're done. I want you
out of my apartment right now.
395
00:17:29,423 --> 00:17:32,359
Well said, Boy Wonder.
396
00:17:33,194 --> 00:17:34,154
Or what?
397
00:17:35,898 --> 00:17:36,971
Don't answer that. It's a trick question.
398
00:17:36,971 --> 00:17:38,196
I speak from experience.
399
00:17:41,736 --> 00:17:44,171
I'm not afraid of you anymore, Jimmy.
400
00:17:44,171 --> 00:17:45,739
Now get out!
401
00:17:46,875 --> 00:17:47,595
Uh-oh.
402
00:17:50,745 --> 00:17:52,746
You did it, Leonard,
you stood up to your bully.
403
00:17:52,746 --> 00:17:55,349
Yeah, I feel pretty good about myself.
404
00:17:57,152 --> 00:17:59,553
You think we can outrun him?
405
00:17:59,553 --> 00:18:02,623
I don't need to outrun him,
I just need to outrun you.
406
00:18:10,915 --> 00:18:12,500
I don't feel good about this.
407
00:18:12,500 --> 00:18:14,701
Then sit in the car and keep it running.
408
00:18:15,503 --> 00:18:18,372
You were right-- a whole new load.
409
00:18:21,209 --> 00:18:24,144
Come on, yoga top.
Mama needs a new yoga top.
410
00:18:24,144 --> 00:18:26,813
Check it out, Bernadette,
suede boots, your size.
411
00:18:26,813 --> 00:18:28,949
God, they're cute.
412
00:18:28,949 --> 00:18:31,585
Oh, why did they have to be cute?
413
00:18:31,585 --> 00:18:34,321
Wait, wait, wait, guys, just hang on.
414
00:18:34,321 --> 00:18:36,223
What is it, the fuzz?
415
00:18:38,626 --> 00:18:40,661
Look at us.
416
00:18:40,661 --> 00:18:42,129
What are we doing?
417
00:18:42,129 --> 00:18:45,165
I was gleefully following
you to a life of crime,
418
00:18:45,165 --> 00:18:48,502
looking forward to the day
we might be cell mates.
419
00:18:51,172 --> 00:18:54,141
I don't know about Bernadette.
420
00:18:54,141 --> 00:18:58,679
You know, this is wrong.
Let's put everything back.
421
00:18:58,679 --> 00:18:59,929
Here.
422
00:19:10,625 --> 00:19:12,526
It's okay, I serve soup to poor people!