1
00:00:01,419 --> 00:00:03,118
(knocking)
2
00:00:03,143 --> 00:00:06,154
Hi. Did Sheldon change
the Wi-Fi password again?
3
00:00:06,706 --> 00:00:08,915
Yeah, it's
"Penny already eats our food.
4
00:00:08,916 --> 00:00:11,517
She can pay for Wi-Fi."
5
00:00:12,271 --> 00:00:13,638
No spaces.
6
00:00:13,640 --> 00:00:14,939
Okay.
7
00:00:14,941 --> 00:00:16,741
If you can't get me
to stop eating your food,
8
00:00:16,743 --> 00:00:18,776
what makes you think you can
get me to stop using your Wi-Fi?
9
00:00:18,778 --> 00:00:21,112
I believe that you're capable
of great change.
10
00:00:21,114 --> 00:00:25,516
Like when I finally got you
to stop saying "Valentimes Day""
11
00:00:26,619 --> 00:00:27,759
You want to hear
something weird?
12
00:00:27,784 --> 00:00:28,587
Sure.
13
00:00:28,588 --> 00:00:30,321
In the year 2000,
14
00:00:30,323 --> 00:00:35,627
Pope John Paul II was named
an honorary Harlem Globetrotter.
15
00:00:37,429 --> 00:00:39,831
What are you talking about?
16
00:00:39,833 --> 00:00:42,967
You asked Penny if she wanted
to hear something weird.
17
00:00:42,969 --> 00:00:45,570
Yeah, because I have
something weird to tell her.
18
00:00:45,572 --> 00:00:47,005
Oh.
19
00:00:47,007 --> 00:00:49,240
I thought it was a game.
20
00:00:50,075 --> 00:00:51,843
What's yours?
21
00:00:51,845 --> 00:00:53,978
There's this guy,
Jimmy Speckerman,
22
00:00:53,980 --> 00:00:56,214
who used to torment me
in high school.
23
00:00:56,216 --> 00:00:58,182
He sent me a message
through Facebook.
24
00:00:58,184 --> 00:01:00,551
He's in town
and wants to have drinks.
25
00:01:00,553 --> 00:01:03,621
Okay, Penny, if it were a game,
here are your choices.
26
00:01:03,623 --> 00:01:05,323
An e-mail
from an old acquaintance,
27
00:01:05,325 --> 00:01:08,226
or the head of one of the
largest religious institutions
28
00:01:08,228 --> 00:01:11,996
in the world slam dunking
to "Sweet Georgia Brown." Pick.
29
00:01:14,867 --> 00:01:18,102
Just do it,
'cause he's not gonna let it go.
30
00:01:18,104 --> 00:01:19,370
Basketball Pope.
31
00:01:19,372 --> 00:01:21,439
And that's how it's done.
32
00:01:22,975 --> 00:01:24,809
What are you gonna do
about your bully?
33
00:01:24,811 --> 00:01:26,744
- Are you gonna see him?
- I don't know.
34
00:01:26,746 --> 00:01:30,114
Is this the fellow who peed
in your Hawaiian Punch?
35
00:01:30,116 --> 00:01:32,550
No, that was a different guy.
36
00:01:32,552 --> 00:01:34,986
Was he the one
who wedgied you so hard,
37
00:01:34,988 --> 00:01:36,254
your testicle reascended,
38
00:01:36,256 --> 00:01:38,022
and you spent
your whole Christmas break
39
00:01:38,024 --> 00:01:40,558
waiting for it
to come back down?
40
00:01:42,594 --> 00:01:45,830
No, that was
a different, different guy.
41
00:01:45,832 --> 00:01:49,834
Was he the one who used
your head to open a nut?
44
00:01:53,606 --> 00:01:56,774
Was he the one
who made you eat your arm hair?
45
00:01:57,843 --> 00:01:59,110
No, but, actually,
46
00:01:59,112 --> 00:02:00,912
that was this guy's sister.
47
00:02:00,914 --> 00:02:02,880
All right, well,
what do you think he wants?
48
00:02:02,882 --> 00:02:04,115
I don't know.
49
00:02:04,117 --> 00:02:06,184
You know, the holidays
are just around the corner.
50
00:02:06,186 --> 00:02:07,318
Maybe he wants to see
51
00:02:07,320 --> 00:02:09,187
if he can lodge
the other testicle up there.
52
00:02:09,189 --> 00:02:12,290
I told you.
That was a different guy.
53
00:02:12,292 --> 00:02:14,359
Hmm. That's too bad.
We could have spent
54
00:02:14,361 --> 00:02:17,195
New Year's Eve waiting
for the ball to drop.
55
00:02:24,136 --> 00:02:27,805
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
56
00:02:27,807 --> 00:02:31,109
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
57
00:02:31,111 --> 00:02:32,710
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
58
00:02:32,712 --> 00:02:35,246
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
59
00:02:35,248 --> 00:02:37,949
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
60
00:02:37,951 --> 00:02:40,585
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
61
00:02:40,587 --> 00:02:42,520
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
62
00:02:42,522 --> 00:02:44,489
♪ Bang! ♪
63
00:02:44,514 --> 00:02:46,814
The Big Bang Theory 5x11
The Speckerman Recurrence
Original Air Date on December 8, 2011
64
00:02:46,815 --> 00:02:49,015
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
65
00:02:49,040 --> 00:02:50,039
(classical fanfare plays
on computer)
66
00:02:50,040 --> 00:02:52,207
It's 2:00 a.m.
What are you doing up?
67
00:02:52,209 --> 00:02:57,212
Nobel Prize acceptance ceremony
streaming live from Stockholm.
68
00:02:57,214 --> 00:02:58,714
Sure. You want to see
69
00:02:58,716 --> 00:03:01,583
what all the scientists
are wearing this year.
70
00:03:01,585 --> 00:03:03,485
Look at these men.
71
00:03:03,487 --> 00:03:06,755
They've managed to win the top
science prize in the world
72
00:03:06,757 --> 00:03:09,591
with no more understanding
of the quantum underpinnings
73
00:03:09,593 --> 00:03:11,693
of the expansion
of the early universe
74
00:03:11,695 --> 00:03:13,762
than God gave a goose.
75
00:03:15,465 --> 00:03:16,598
You should pay attention,
Leonard.
76
00:03:16,600 --> 00:03:18,433
Someday this could be you
up there.
77
00:03:19,302 --> 00:03:20,836
Thanks.
78
00:03:20,838 --> 00:03:22,137
So,
79
00:03:22,139 --> 00:03:23,639
what's got you up?
80
00:03:23,641 --> 00:03:26,074
Did you have a bad clam?
81
00:03:26,076 --> 00:03:27,743
I didn't have clams.
82
00:03:27,745 --> 00:03:29,678
I don't watch you
24 hours a day.
83
00:03:29,680 --> 00:03:31,780
I don't know what you do.
84
00:03:31,782 --> 00:03:34,850
It's this Jimmy Speckerman
thing.
85
00:03:34,852 --> 00:03:37,819
I can't decide if I should
agree to see him or not.
86
00:03:37,821 --> 00:03:39,087
Of course that might be
87
00:03:39,089 --> 00:03:41,056
because the last time
I ran into him,
88
00:03:41,058 --> 00:03:43,725
he made me floss
with my own shoelaces.
89
00:03:43,727 --> 00:03:46,161
Wear loafers.
90
00:03:46,163 --> 00:03:49,698
Look at Dr. Saul
Perlmutter up there,
91
00:03:49,700 --> 00:03:51,900
clutching that Nobel Prize.
92
00:03:51,902 --> 00:03:53,135
What's the matter, Saul?
93
00:03:53,137 --> 00:03:54,770
You afraid someone's
going to steal it?
94
00:03:54,772 --> 00:03:57,339
Like you stole Einstein's
cosmological constant?
95
00:03:57,341 --> 00:03:59,541
You know what?
96
00:03:59,543 --> 00:04:02,344
I am tired of living
in fear of this guy.
97
00:04:02,346 --> 00:04:04,379
I'm gonna go see
him and finally say
98
00:04:04,381 --> 00:04:07,349
all the things I should
have said in high school.
99
00:04:07,351 --> 00:04:09,051
You know, "Pick on
someone your own size""
100
00:04:09,053 --> 00:04:12,888
"You did not have sex
with my mother."
101
00:04:12,890 --> 00:04:16,858
And "Yes, I do know why
I'm hitting myself."
102
00:04:16,860 --> 00:04:19,361
Oh, now Perlmutter's
shaking the king's hand.
103
00:04:19,363 --> 00:04:21,063
Yeah, check for your watch,
Gustaf.
104
00:04:21,065 --> 00:04:22,831
He might have lifted it.
105
00:04:24,867 --> 00:04:27,069
I love this dress.
106
00:04:27,071 --> 00:04:28,904
How come I never
see you wear it?
107
00:04:28,906 --> 00:04:31,073
'Cause when I wear it,
it's a shirt.
108
00:04:32,175 --> 00:04:34,977
So, what's Howard
doing tonight?
109
00:04:34,979 --> 00:04:38,080
Oh, they all went with Leonard
to confront his childhood bully.
110
00:04:38,082 --> 00:04:39,348
Oh, terrific.
111
00:04:39,350 --> 00:04:43,285
High school quarterback
against four mathletes.
112
00:04:43,287 --> 00:04:44,386
When Leonard gets back,
113
00:04:44,388 --> 00:04:45,921
I'd love to check
his serotonin levels.
114
00:04:45,923 --> 00:04:48,790
Do you think he'd let me draw
a syringe full of his blood?
115
00:04:48,792 --> 00:04:50,559
Hmm, he's not crazy
about needles,
116
00:04:50,561 --> 00:04:52,594
but if you get him to go
jogging,
117
00:04:52,596 --> 00:04:54,396
it'll just pour out of his nose.
118
00:04:55,365 --> 00:04:56,565
I don't think
119
00:04:56,567 --> 00:04:59,201
I can meet the girl
who was always mean to me.
120
00:04:59,203 --> 00:05:00,702
Tammy Bodnick.
121
00:05:00,704 --> 00:05:02,638
One time
while I was in gym class,
122
00:05:02,640 --> 00:05:03,739
she stole all my clothes
123
00:05:03,741 --> 00:05:06,575
and left an elf costume
in my locker.
124
00:05:06,577 --> 00:05:08,477
Oh, that's awful.
125
00:05:08,479 --> 00:05:11,680
Worst part was, it was too big.
126
00:05:12,949 --> 00:05:14,249
That's nothing.
127
00:05:14,251 --> 00:05:17,552
In ninth grade, the girls put
Rogaine in my hand lotion.
128
00:05:18,521 --> 00:05:20,789
Within six months, the
nicknames began to fly.
129
00:05:20,791 --> 00:05:24,293
I think the one that hurt the
most was Gorilla Fingers Fowler.
130
00:05:24,295 --> 00:05:26,161
(sighs)
131
00:05:26,163 --> 00:05:28,563
Wow. You poor thing.
132
00:05:28,565 --> 00:05:30,565
What about you?
Oh.
133
00:05:30,567 --> 00:05:32,701
I don't know. I guess
my school was a nice place.
134
00:05:32,703 --> 00:05:33,869
We didn't really have bullies.
135
00:05:33,871 --> 00:05:36,705
Come on, no one ever
gave anyone mean nicknames
136
00:05:36,707 --> 00:05:39,341
or picked on them or put gum
in their hairy knuckles
137
00:05:39,343 --> 00:05:43,011
so the school nurse had to use
peanut butter to get it out?
138
00:05:43,013 --> 00:05:44,346
No, we weren't really like that.
139
00:05:44,348 --> 00:05:46,515
I mean, look, we played pranks
on each other,
140
00:05:46,517 --> 00:05:47,616
but it was never mean.
141
00:05:47,618 --> 00:05:49,117
Like, okay,
this one girl, Kathy Geiger,
142
00:05:49,119 --> 00:05:50,652
got really good grades,
so we blindfolded her,
143
00:05:50,654 --> 00:05:52,888
tied her up and left her
in a cornfield overnight.
144
00:05:55,391 --> 00:05:57,359
Oh, my God,
that's awful.
145
00:05:57,361 --> 00:05:59,928
No, it was funny.
Everyone laughed.
146
00:05:59,930 --> 00:06:02,230
Did Kathy
Geiger laugh?
147
00:06:02,232 --> 00:06:03,999
Uh, probably.
It's hard to say.
148
00:06:04,001 --> 00:06:06,935
She kind of had an ear
of corn in her mouth.
149
00:06:06,937 --> 00:06:09,171
Who would have thought
150
00:06:09,173 --> 00:06:13,141
Fuzzy Fingers Fowler
is best friends with a bully?
151
00:06:13,143 --> 00:06:15,811
What? I was not a bully.
152
00:06:15,813 --> 00:06:17,412
Kind of sounds like you were.
153
00:06:17,414 --> 00:06:19,848
And maybe a felon.
154
00:06:22,485 --> 00:06:24,853
Shh. That's how you
wind up in a cornfield.
155
00:06:29,959 --> 00:06:31,727
Is that him over there?
156
00:06:31,729 --> 00:06:33,161
No.
157
00:06:33,163 --> 00:06:35,130
How about that guy?
158
00:06:35,132 --> 00:06:37,466
He looks like he'd hate you.
159
00:06:37,468 --> 00:06:39,835
You know, I can really do this
by myself.
160
00:06:39,837 --> 00:06:41,470
Hey, we're here
to support you, buddy.
161
00:06:41,472 --> 00:06:43,071
No, you're not.
You're here to see
162
00:06:43,073 --> 00:06:45,140
if I get my underwear
pulled over my head.
163
00:06:45,142 --> 00:06:47,843
(laughing):
You wore underwear? You fool.
164
00:06:49,278 --> 00:06:51,413
So, have you figured out what
you're going to say to him?
165
00:06:51,415 --> 00:06:54,015
You bet. I am going to
make him apologize
166
00:06:54,017 --> 00:06:56,885
for all the crap
he pulled on me in school.
167
00:06:56,887 --> 00:06:58,787
That's quite a list.
168
00:06:58,789 --> 00:07:00,188
I can't read your handwriting.
169
00:07:00,190 --> 00:07:01,356
What's that word?
170
00:07:01,358 --> 00:07:02,824
"Scrotum."
171
00:07:02,826 --> 00:07:05,694
What's that one?
172
00:07:05,696 --> 00:07:07,963
Uh, "stapled."
173
00:07:09,365 --> 00:07:12,801
Leonard.
174
00:07:12,803 --> 00:07:15,470
(laughing)
Oh, hi.
175
00:07:15,472 --> 00:07:17,873
Holy crap, man,
it's good to see you.
176
00:07:17,875 --> 00:07:20,509
Yeah. You, too.
Uh, Jimmy, this is
177
00:07:20,511 --> 00:07:21,877
Sheldon and Raj and Howard.
178
00:07:21,879 --> 00:07:24,513
Hi. Fellas... Hey,
can I get a beer?
179
00:07:24,515 --> 00:07:26,348
Wow. Look at you.
180
00:07:26,350 --> 00:07:27,849
Little Leonard Hofstadter.
181
00:07:27,851 --> 00:07:29,718
I hear
you're a big-time scientist now.
182
00:07:29,720 --> 00:07:32,154
And there's the first
zinger. Ouch.
183
00:07:32,156 --> 00:07:34,823
I'm doing okay, I guess.
184
00:07:34,825 --> 00:07:37,025
Okay? Come on, I read online
185
00:07:37,027 --> 00:07:38,727
you're a physicist
at a university,
186
00:07:38,729 --> 00:07:39,861
you won some medal.
187
00:07:39,863 --> 00:07:41,563
The Newcomb medal.
188
00:07:41,565 --> 00:07:42,898
Yeah, congratulations.
189
00:07:42,900 --> 00:07:44,366
Congratulations?
190
00:07:44,368 --> 00:07:46,301
The Newcomb medal?
Oh, please.
191
00:07:46,303 --> 00:07:47,702
That's the scientific equivalent
192
00:07:47,704 --> 00:07:50,138
of a smiley face sticker
on your homework.
193
00:07:50,140 --> 00:07:52,641
From what I read,
it sounded like a big deal.
194
00:07:52,643 --> 00:07:55,043
Oh, good Lord,
are we going to stand here
195
00:07:55,045 --> 00:07:57,212
and listen to him
tear Leonard apart like this?
196
00:07:58,247 --> 00:08:00,148
Hey, I won a Newcomb medal, too.
197
00:08:00,150 --> 00:08:01,550
My point.
198
00:08:02,785 --> 00:08:04,619
You should have seen this guy
back in the day.
199
00:08:04,621 --> 00:08:07,522
Huh? He was so little, he could
fit in just about anywhere.
200
00:08:07,524 --> 00:08:09,624
Lockers, trash cans.
201
00:08:09,626 --> 00:08:12,828
Oh, man, how did you get
inside that backpack?
202
00:08:14,163 --> 00:08:15,964
Oh, I can't take all the credit.
203
00:08:15,966 --> 00:08:18,266
You helped a lot.
Yeah.
204
00:08:18,268 --> 00:08:20,168
We were practically
a comedy team.
205
00:08:20,170 --> 00:08:23,839
Like the Black Death
and Europe.
206
00:08:23,841 --> 00:08:27,709
Jimmy, I'm kind of curious why
you wanted to see me.
207
00:08:27,711 --> 00:08:29,578
Okay, here it is.
208
00:08:29,580 --> 00:08:31,046
I have this great
money-making idea.
209
00:08:31,048 --> 00:08:33,181
I just need a gear head
to get it to the finish line.
210
00:08:33,183 --> 00:08:34,850
Technically, Howard's the
gear head.
211
00:08:34,852 --> 00:08:37,886
Leonard's just a dime store
laser jockey.
212
00:08:37,888 --> 00:08:39,354
What's the idea?
213
00:08:39,356 --> 00:08:41,089
This is just between us, right?
214
00:08:41,091 --> 00:08:42,357
- Right.
- Okay.
215
00:08:42,359 --> 00:08:44,326
What do you think
about a pair of glasses
216
00:08:44,328 --> 00:08:46,761
that makes any movie
you want into 3D?
217
00:08:46,763 --> 00:08:48,129
That sounds amazing.
218
00:08:48,131 --> 00:08:52,100
First movie I'm
watching-- Annie.
219
00:08:53,236 --> 00:08:56,171
How exactly would
these glasses work?
220
00:08:56,173 --> 00:08:59,207
How the hell should I know?
That's why I need a nerd.
221
00:08:59,209 --> 00:09:03,044
I don't think something like
that's even possible.
222
00:09:03,046 --> 00:09:04,679
Aw, come on, you can
figure it out.
223
00:09:04,681 --> 00:09:06,381
You're like the smartest
guy I've ever known.
224
00:09:06,383 --> 00:09:07,616
The smartest...?!
225
00:09:07,618 --> 00:09:10,452
All right, you know,
I may not have
226
00:09:10,454 --> 00:09:14,589
a firm grasp on sarcasm, but
even I know that was a doozy.
227
00:09:15,825 --> 00:09:18,426
Leonard, you can't live in
fear of this man forever.
228
00:09:18,428 --> 00:09:19,995
Sheldon, I got this.
229
00:09:19,997 --> 00:09:21,530
You clearly don't.
230
00:09:21,532 --> 00:09:23,899
What my spineless friend
lacks the courage to say
231
00:09:23,901 --> 00:09:25,967
is you're a
terrible person
232
00:09:25,969 --> 00:09:27,235
who took advantage
233
00:09:27,237 --> 00:09:30,438
of his tiny size,
his uncoordinated nature
234
00:09:30,440 --> 00:09:32,541
and his congenital
lack of masculinity.
235
00:09:32,543 --> 00:09:33,575
Sheldon...
236
00:09:33,577 --> 00:09:35,410
Leonard, I platonically
love you, man,
237
00:09:35,412 --> 00:09:36,845
but face it, you're a mess.
238
00:09:38,781 --> 00:09:41,483
I don't understand.
239
00:09:41,485 --> 00:09:45,487
I think what he's trying to say
is that maybe in high school
240
00:09:45,489 --> 00:09:47,055
you picked on me a little bit.
241
00:09:47,057 --> 00:09:48,890
A little bit?
242
00:09:48,892 --> 00:09:51,993
The man Super Glued Hershey's
Kisses to your nipples.
243
00:09:54,230 --> 00:09:56,431
That's funny because those
aren't the kind of kisses
244
00:09:56,433 --> 00:09:57,933
you want on your nipples.
245
00:09:59,368 --> 00:10:00,635
What is that?
246
00:10:00,637 --> 00:10:03,738
This is a list of your heinous
acts against Leonard.
247
00:10:03,740 --> 00:10:06,308
One of which is certainly the
cause of him wetting his bed
248
00:10:06,310 --> 00:10:07,742
well into his teens.
249
00:10:08,778 --> 00:10:12,314
14 is not... Aw, never mind.
250
00:10:14,016 --> 00:10:16,518
What's this word?
251
00:10:16,520 --> 00:10:18,186
"Nancy."
252
00:10:19,021 --> 00:10:23,024
You called me Nancy
for three years.
253
00:10:24,093 --> 00:10:27,362
You really need to work
on your penmanship.
254
00:10:27,364 --> 00:10:30,465
Oh, man, I...
255
00:10:30,467 --> 00:10:32,834
I don't know what to say.
256
00:10:32,836 --> 00:10:34,970
I always thought we were
just having some fun.
257
00:10:34,972 --> 00:10:36,972
It wasn't fun for me.
258
00:10:37,873 --> 00:10:39,341
You're being too kind, Leonard.
259
00:10:39,343 --> 00:10:41,476
You ruined him.
260
00:10:42,411 --> 00:10:43,778
Come on, guys.
261
00:10:43,780 --> 00:10:45,981
That was pretty badass, dude.
262
00:10:45,983 --> 00:10:47,716
I help the weak.
263
00:10:47,718 --> 00:10:49,751
It's yet another way I'm
exactly like Batman.
264
00:10:49,753 --> 00:10:54,189
Hey, for the record, Jimmy
wasn't the reason I wet the bed.
265
00:10:54,191 --> 00:10:57,659
That one has my mother
written all over it.
266
00:11:02,174 --> 00:11:03,574
Anyway, I'm really sorry
267
00:11:03,576 --> 00:11:05,810
I made fun of your
stutter in high school.
268
00:11:05,812 --> 00:11:07,878
You're doing great.
269
00:11:07,880 --> 00:11:09,247
Uh-huh.
270
00:11:10,115 --> 00:11:11,415
Uh-huh.
271
00:11:11,417 --> 00:11:14,452
Oh, God, just
finish the sentence.
272
00:11:18,223 --> 00:11:21,726
Okay, well, I'm sorry
you feel that way. Bye.
273
00:11:21,728 --> 00:11:24,462
No one wants to hear
my apologies.
274
00:11:24,464 --> 00:11:26,464
I think your mistake is doing it
over the phone.
275
00:11:26,466 --> 00:11:29,133
If they could look
into your eyes, they'd melt.
276
00:11:31,169 --> 00:11:33,271
Penny, it doesn't matter
what you did in the past.
277
00:11:33,273 --> 00:11:34,939
You're a good person now.
278
00:11:34,941 --> 00:11:36,440
That's easy for you to say.
279
00:11:36,442 --> 00:11:39,577
You weren't just called
a "b-b-b-b-bitch."
280
00:11:39,579 --> 00:11:44,382
Perhaps you could assuage
your guilt through altruism.
281
00:11:46,885 --> 00:11:49,654
Which word's tripping you up?
282
00:11:49,656 --> 00:11:52,256
"Assuage," or "altruism"?
283
00:11:52,258 --> 00:11:54,992
Both.
284
00:11:56,228 --> 00:11:58,963
You'll feel better by doing
something nice for someone.
285
00:11:58,965 --> 00:12:01,565
- I actually knew that.
- I never doubted you.
286
00:12:02,901 --> 00:12:05,770
Every other week I serve at
a soup kitchen downtown.
287
00:12:05,772 --> 00:12:08,005
Ooh, I can't do that.
288
00:12:08,007 --> 00:12:10,975
If I stand over a steaming pot,
my hair just goes boing!
289
00:12:12,311 --> 00:12:13,778
What else could I do?
290
00:12:13,780 --> 00:12:16,647
There's Habitat for Humanity--
building houses for the poor.
291
00:12:16,649 --> 00:12:18,649
Okay, come on, I don't even
have my own house--
292
00:12:18,651 --> 00:12:20,084
I'm going to build one
for someone else?
293
00:12:20,086 --> 00:12:23,554
How about donating
some of your clothes?
294
00:12:23,556 --> 00:12:27,491
Oh, my God, that's perfect.
'Cause I have so many clothes
295
00:12:27,493 --> 00:12:28,993
I don't wear, and they're
just taking up space,
296
00:12:28,995 --> 00:12:31,996
and I go shopping to buy more stuff
and I have no place to put it.
297
00:12:31,998 --> 00:12:33,264
This will totally fix that.
298
00:12:33,266 --> 00:12:34,832
What about helping people?
299
00:12:34,834 --> 00:12:37,234
And helping people.
300
00:12:38,537 --> 00:12:41,138
Here's your cocoa.
301
00:12:41,140 --> 00:12:43,741
- Oh, half and half instead of whole milk?
- Yes.
302
00:12:43,743 --> 00:12:46,143
- Heated to precisely 183 degrees?
- Yes.
303
00:12:46,145 --> 00:12:48,045
Seven little marshmallows,
no more no less?
304
00:12:48,047 --> 00:12:50,348
You got one for good luck.
305
00:12:51,450 --> 00:12:52,850
(knocking)
I'll get it.
306
00:12:52,852 --> 00:12:55,319
One for good luck.
307
00:12:55,321 --> 00:12:58,022
Must be the kind of math
they do at Princeton.
308
00:13:01,426 --> 00:13:03,294
Hey.
309
00:13:03,296 --> 00:13:04,729
What are you doing here?
310
00:13:04,731 --> 00:13:08,899
I want to apologize for...
stapling your balls and...
311
00:13:10,102 --> 00:13:13,270
...throwing you naked
in the girls' locker room,
312
00:13:13,272 --> 00:13:15,172
stuffing that parrot
down your pants.
313
00:13:16,975 --> 00:13:18,109
What's this word?
314
00:13:18,810 --> 00:13:22,079
- "Laxative."
- Oh, right.
315
00:13:22,081 --> 00:13:24,849
Junior prom.
316
00:13:24,851 --> 00:13:27,985
That was not cool, man.
317
00:13:27,987 --> 00:13:30,354
I am so, so sorry.
318
00:13:30,356 --> 00:13:31,722
Really?
319
00:13:31,724 --> 00:13:35,259
Yeah. I just hope
you can forgive me.
320
00:13:35,261 --> 00:13:36,427
LEONARD:
Uh...
321
00:13:36,429 --> 00:13:37,928
Yeah.
322
00:13:37,930 --> 00:13:39,029
Sure, I guess.
323
00:13:39,031 --> 00:13:42,333
You're a beautiful guy.
324
00:13:42,335 --> 00:13:44,335
Well, thanks, Jimmy.
325
00:13:44,337 --> 00:13:45,703
Okay, I got to go.
326
00:13:45,705 --> 00:13:47,838
Are you okay to drive?
327
00:13:47,840 --> 00:13:50,040
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I drive better drunk.
328
00:13:50,042 --> 00:13:52,710
You know, it makes
you pay attention.
329
00:13:54,713 --> 00:13:57,114
No, no, no, come on in.
I'll make you a cup of coffee.
330
00:13:57,116 --> 00:13:58,816
- I wouldn't be imposing?
- No.
331
00:13:58,818 --> 00:14:01,018
Yes.
332
00:14:01,020 --> 00:14:04,288
Sheldon, we can't
let him drive.
333
00:14:04,290 --> 00:14:06,757
Then take away his keys
and make him wander the streets
334
00:14:06,759 --> 00:14:08,692
with the other drunks.
335
00:14:10,462 --> 00:14:13,230
You remember Sheldon
and Raj and Howard.
336
00:14:13,232 --> 00:14:14,799
Not really, no.
337
00:14:16,067 --> 00:14:17,501
It's funny, huh, Leonard?
338
00:14:17,503 --> 00:14:20,404
Back in school, I was the
winner and you were the loser.
339
00:14:20,406 --> 00:14:21,472
And now we're reversed.
340
00:14:21,474 --> 00:14:24,008
You're the winner.
341
00:14:24,010 --> 00:14:26,977
You'd think a winner could make
a decent cup of cocoa.
342
00:14:28,680 --> 00:14:31,682
- You mind if I use your bathroom?
- Yeah, just back there.
343
00:14:34,653 --> 00:14:36,253
How about that?
344
00:14:36,255 --> 00:14:39,356
After all these years,
your big bad high school bully
345
00:14:39,358 --> 00:14:41,125
finally apologizes.
346
00:14:41,127 --> 00:14:43,994
Yeah. It kind of rekindles
your faith
347
00:14:43,996 --> 00:14:46,063
in the basic goodness of people.
348
00:14:46,065 --> 00:14:48,666
You know what
would be nice?
349
00:14:48,668 --> 00:14:49,400
What's that?
350
00:14:49,402 --> 00:14:51,569
As a symbolic gesture
351
00:14:51,571 --> 00:14:54,738
to all the bullies who've
tormented us for years,
352
00:14:54,740 --> 00:14:59,743
we open our home to Jimmy and
once he's asleep we kill him.
353
00:15:04,416 --> 00:15:07,384
I said it would be nice--
I didn't say we should do it.
354
00:15:09,921 --> 00:15:13,424
I feel just like
Mother Teresa.
355
00:15:13,426 --> 00:15:15,192
Except for the virgin part.
356
00:15:15,194 --> 00:15:18,195
That ship sailed
a long time ago.
357
00:15:18,197 --> 00:15:22,967
I think Mother Teresa would
have washed the clothes first.
358
00:15:22,969 --> 00:15:24,869
Yeah, well, I bet
her laundry room
359
00:15:24,871 --> 00:15:26,837
wasn't down five flights
of stairs.
360
00:15:26,839 --> 00:15:30,708
You know, giving really
is better than receiving.
361
00:15:30,710 --> 00:15:34,512
I used to think it was such a cliche,
but it seems to be the...
362
00:15:34,514 --> 00:15:38,182
(gasps) Look at these cute jeans
someone just threw away.
363
00:15:38,184 --> 00:15:40,284
Donated.
364
00:15:42,821 --> 00:15:46,557
Yes, to a poor waitress
who loves a boot cut.
365
00:15:47,592 --> 00:15:48,592
Penny.
366
00:15:48,594 --> 00:15:50,694
Come on, they would
be so cute on me...
367
00:15:50,696 --> 00:15:52,897
They go great
with this sweater!
368
00:15:52,899 --> 00:15:55,032
I don't think
Mother Teresa...
369
00:15:55,034 --> 00:15:56,967
Oh, that is adorable.
370
00:16:08,346 --> 00:16:09,914
Leonard.
371
00:16:09,916 --> 00:16:11,982
- Yeah.
- In case it comes up again,
372
00:16:11,984 --> 00:16:15,786
this right here
is an imposition.
373
00:16:17,289 --> 00:16:18,756
What was I supposed to do?
374
00:16:18,758 --> 00:16:20,491
He needed a place
to sleep it off.
375
00:16:20,493 --> 00:16:22,059
You're soft.
376
00:16:22,061 --> 00:16:25,462
This world's going to chew
you up and spit you out.
377
00:16:25,464 --> 00:16:27,464
(belches)
378
00:16:27,466 --> 00:16:30,267
When did I have tacos?
379
00:16:31,903 --> 00:16:33,404
Morning, Jimmy.
380
00:16:33,406 --> 00:16:37,041
Oh, there it is, tacos.
381
00:16:37,043 --> 00:16:40,177
Man, I tied one on.
382
00:16:40,179 --> 00:16:41,345
Yeah, you did.
383
00:16:41,347 --> 00:16:44,481
So, uh, listen, it was
great to see you again.
384
00:16:44,483 --> 00:16:47,017
And thanks for
the apology.
385
00:16:47,019 --> 00:16:49,153
What apology?
386
00:16:49,155 --> 00:16:52,323
For all the crappy stuff
you did to me in high school.
387
00:16:52,325 --> 00:16:54,658
Geez, you're still harping
on that?
388
00:16:54,660 --> 00:16:55,926
What a puss.
389
00:16:55,928 --> 00:16:58,395
That's my French toast.
390
00:16:58,397 --> 00:17:00,064
It's good.
391
00:17:00,066 --> 00:17:02,800
You really know your way
around a kitchen, Nancy.
392
00:17:04,469 --> 00:17:06,705
I'm not going to say
I told you so,
393
00:17:06,730 --> 00:17:08,278
but we could have killed him.
394
00:17:11,176 --> 00:17:14,211
I might kill him right now.
395
00:17:14,213 --> 00:17:16,847
The Dark Knight
has your back.
396
00:17:16,849 --> 00:17:19,350
He's scared, but
he has your back.
397
00:17:19,352 --> 00:17:21,552
Okay, Jimmy, it's time
for you to go.
398
00:17:21,554 --> 00:17:23,020
Yeah, all right, let
me just finish this.
399
00:17:23,022 --> 00:17:25,389
No, you're done. I want you out
of my apartment right now.
400
00:17:25,391 --> 00:17:28,325
Well said, Boy Wonder.
401
00:17:29,160 --> 00:17:31,862
Or what?
402
00:17:31,864 --> 00:17:32,937
Don't answer that.
It's a trick question.
403
00:17:32,962 --> 00:17:34,162
I speak from experience.
404
00:17:37,702 --> 00:17:40,137
I'm not afraid of you
anymore, Jimmy.
405
00:17:40,139 --> 00:17:41,705
Now get out!
406
00:17:42,841 --> 00:17:44,908
Uh-oh.
407
00:17:46,711 --> 00:17:48,712
You did it, Leonard,
you stood up to your bully.
408
00:17:48,714 --> 00:17:51,315
Yeah, I feel pretty good
about myself.
409
00:17:53,118 --> 00:17:55,519
You think we can
outrun him?
410
00:17:55,521 --> 00:17:58,589
I don't need to outrun him,
I just need to outrun you.
411
00:18:04,644 --> 00:18:06,229
I don't feel
good about this.
412
00:18:06,230 --> 00:18:08,430
Then sit in the car
and keep it running.
413
00:18:09,232 --> 00:18:12,101
You were right--
a whole new load.
414
00:18:14,938 --> 00:18:17,873
Come on, yoga top.
Mama needs a new yoga top.
415
00:18:17,875 --> 00:18:20,542
Check it out, Bernadette,
suede boots, your size.
416
00:18:20,544 --> 00:18:22,678
God, they're cute.
417
00:18:22,680 --> 00:18:25,314
Oh, why did they have
to be cute?
418
00:18:25,316 --> 00:18:28,050
Wait, wait, wait, guys,
just hang on.
419
00:18:28,052 --> 00:18:29,952
What is it, the fuzz?
420
00:18:32,355 --> 00:18:34,390
Look at us.
421
00:18:34,392 --> 00:18:35,858
What are we doing?
422
00:18:35,860 --> 00:18:38,894
I was gleefully following you
to a life of crime,
423
00:18:38,896 --> 00:18:42,231
looking forward to the day
we might be cell mates.
424
00:18:44,901 --> 00:18:47,870
I don't know about Bernadette.
425
00:18:47,872 --> 00:18:52,408
You know, this is wrong.
Let's put everything back.
426
00:18:52,410 --> 00:18:54,677
Here.
427
00:19:04,354 --> 00:19:06,255
It's okay, I serve soup
to poor people!
428
00:19:06,257 --> 00:19:10,257
== sync, corrected by elderman ==