1
00:00:02,419 --> 00:00:04,118
(knocking)
2
00:00:04,143 --> 00:00:07,154
Hi. Did Sheldon change
the Wi-Fi password again?
3
00:00:07,706 --> 00:00:09,915
Yeah, it's
"Penny already eats our food.
4
00:00:09,916 --> 00:00:12,517
She can pay for Wi-Fi."
5
00:00:13,271 --> 00:00:14,638
No spaces.
6
00:00:14,640 --> 00:00:15,939
Okay.
7
00:00:15,941 --> 00:00:17,741
If you can't get me
to stop eating your food,
8
00:00:17,743 --> 00:00:19,776
what makes you think you can
get me to stop using your Wi-Fi?
9
00:00:19,778 --> 00:00:22,112
I believe that you're capable
of great change.
10
00:00:22,114 --> 00:00:26,516
Like when I finally got you
to stop saying "Valentimes Day""
11
00:00:27,619 --> 00:00:28,759
You want to hear
something weird?
12
00:00:28,784 --> 00:00:29,587
Sure.
13
00:00:29,588 --> 00:00:31,321
In the year 2000,
14
00:00:31,323 --> 00:00:36,627
Pope John Paul II was named
an honorary Harlem Globetrotter.
15
00:00:38,429 --> 00:00:40,831
What are you talking about?
16
00:00:40,833 --> 00:00:43,967
You asked Penny if she wanted
to hear something weird.
17
00:00:43,969 --> 00:00:46,570
Yeah, because I have
something weird to tell her.
18
00:00:46,572 --> 00:00:48,005
Oh.
19
00:00:48,007 --> 00:00:50,240
I thought it was a game.
20
00:00:51,075 --> 00:00:52,843
What's yours?
21
00:00:52,845 --> 00:00:54,978
There's this guy,
Jimmy Speckerman,
22
00:00:54,980 --> 00:00:57,214
who used to torment me
in high school.
23
00:00:57,216 --> 00:00:59,182
He sent me a message
through Facebook.
24
00:00:59,184 --> 00:01:01,551
He's in town
and wants to have drinks.
25
00:01:01,553 --> 00:01:04,621
Okay, Penny, if it were a game,
here are your choices.
26
00:01:04,623 --> 00:01:06,323
An e-mail
from an old acquaintance,
27
00:01:06,325 --> 00:01:09,226
or the head of one of the
largest religious institutions
28
00:01:09,228 --> 00:01:12,996
in the world slam dunking
to "Sweet Georgia Brown." Pick.
29
00:01:15,867 --> 00:01:19,102
Just do it,
'cause he's not gonna let it go.
30
00:01:19,104 --> 00:01:20,370
Basketball Pope.
31
00:01:20,372 --> 00:01:22,439
And that's how it's done.
32
00:01:23,975 --> 00:01:25,809
What are you gonna do
about your bully?
33
00:01:25,811 --> 00:01:27,744
- Are you gonna see him?
- I don't know.
34
00:01:27,746 --> 00:01:31,114
Is this the fellow who peed
in your Hawaiian Punch?
35
00:01:31,116 --> 00:01:33,550
No, that was a different guy.
36
00:01:33,552 --> 00:01:35,986
Was he the one
who wedgied you so hard,
37
00:01:35,988 --> 00:01:37,254
your testicle reascended,
38
00:01:37,256 --> 00:01:39,022
and you spent
your whole Christmas break
39
00:01:39,024 --> 00:01:41,558
waiting for it
to come back down?
40
00:01:43,594 --> 00:01:46,830
No, that was
a different, different guy.
41
00:01:46,832 --> 00:01:50,834
Was he the one who used
your head to open a nut?
44
00:01:54,606 --> 00:01:57,774
Was he the one
who made you eat your arm hair?
45
00:01:58,843 --> 00:02:00,110
No, but, actually,
46
00:02:00,112 --> 00:02:01,912
that was this guy's sister.
47
00:02:01,914 --> 00:02:03,880
All right, well,
what do you think he wants?
48
00:02:03,882 --> 00:02:05,115
I don't know.
49
00:02:05,117 --> 00:02:07,184
You know, the holidays
are just around the corner.
50
00:02:07,186 --> 00:02:08,318
Maybe he wants to see
51
00:02:08,320 --> 00:02:10,187
if he can lodge
the other testicle up there.
52
00:02:10,189 --> 00:02:13,290
I told you.
That was a different guy.
53
00:02:13,292 --> 00:02:15,359
Hmm. That's too bad.
We could have spent
54
00:02:15,361 --> 00:02:18,195
New Year's Eve waiting
for the ball to drop.
55
00:02:25,136 --> 00:02:28,805
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
56
00:02:28,807 --> 00:02:32,109
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
57
00:02:32,111 --> 00:02:33,710
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
58
00:02:33,712 --> 00:02:36,246
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
59
00:02:36,248 --> 00:02:38,949
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
60
00:02:38,951 --> 00:02:41,585
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
61
00:02:41,587 --> 00:02:43,520
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
62
00:02:43,522 --> 00:02:45,489
♪ Bang! ♪
63
00:02:45,514 --> 00:02:48,514
The Big Bang Theory 5x11
The Speckerman Recurrence
Original Air Date on December 8, 2011
64
00:02:48,539 --> 00:02:51,539
== ReSync by jacobian ==
== for 720p Web-DL @hdbits.org ==
65
00:02:52,540 --> 00:02:53,539
(classical fanfare plays
on computer)
66
00:02:53,540 --> 00:02:55,707
It's 2:00 a.m.
What are you doing up?
67
00:02:55,709 --> 00:03:00,712
Nobel Prize acceptance ceremony
streaming live from Stockholm.
68
00:03:00,714 --> 00:03:02,214
Sure. You want to see
69
00:03:02,216 --> 00:03:05,083
what all the scientists
are wearing this year.
70
00:03:05,085 --> 00:03:06,985
Look at these men.
71
00:03:06,987 --> 00:03:10,255
They've managed to win the top
science prize in the world
72
00:03:10,257 --> 00:03:13,091
with no more understanding
of the quantum underpinnings
73
00:03:13,093 --> 00:03:15,193
of the expansion
of the early universe
74
00:03:15,195 --> 00:03:17,262
than God gave a goose.
75
00:03:18,965 --> 00:03:20,098
You should pay attention,
Leonard.
76
00:03:20,100 --> 00:03:21,933
Someday this could be you
up there.
77
00:03:22,802 --> 00:03:24,336
Thanks.
78
00:03:24,338 --> 00:03:25,637
So,
79
00:03:25,639 --> 00:03:27,139
what's got you up?
80
00:03:27,141 --> 00:03:29,574
Did you have a bad clam?
81
00:03:29,576 --> 00:03:31,243
I didn't have clams.
82
00:03:31,245 --> 00:03:33,178
I don't watch you
24 hours a day.
83
00:03:33,180 --> 00:03:35,280
I don't know what you do.
84
00:03:35,282 --> 00:03:38,350
It's this Jimmy Speckerman
thing.
85
00:03:38,352 --> 00:03:41,319
I can't decide if I should
agree to see him or not.
86
00:03:41,321 --> 00:03:42,587
Of course that might be
87
00:03:42,589 --> 00:03:44,556
because the last time
I ran into him,
88
00:03:44,558 --> 00:03:47,225
he made me floss
with my own shoelaces.
89
00:03:47,227 --> 00:03:49,661
Wear loafers.
90
00:03:49,663 --> 00:03:53,198
Look at Dr. Saul
Perlmutter up there,
91
00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:55,400
clutching that Nobel Prize.
92
00:03:55,402 --> 00:03:56,635
What's the matter, Saul?
93
00:03:56,637 --> 00:03:58,270
You afraid someone's
going to steal it?
94
00:03:58,272 --> 00:04:00,839
Like you stole Einstein's
cosmological constant?
95
00:04:00,841 --> 00:04:03,041
You know what?
96
00:04:03,043 --> 00:04:05,844
I am tired of living
in fear of this guy.
97
00:04:05,846 --> 00:04:07,879
I'm gonna go see
him and finally say
98
00:04:07,881 --> 00:04:10,849
all the things I should
have said in high school.
99
00:04:10,851 --> 00:04:12,551
You know, "Pick on
someone your own size""
100
00:04:12,553 --> 00:04:16,388
"You did not have sex
with my mother."
101
00:04:16,390 --> 00:04:20,358
And "Yes, I do know why
I'm hitting myself."
102
00:04:20,360 --> 00:04:22,861
Oh, now Perlmutter's
shaking the king's hand.
103
00:04:22,863 --> 00:04:24,563
Yeah, check for your watch,
Gustaf.
104
00:04:24,565 --> 00:04:26,331
He might have lifted it.
105
00:04:28,367 --> 00:04:30,569
I love this dress.
106
00:04:30,571 --> 00:04:32,404
How come I never
see you wear it?
107
00:04:32,406 --> 00:04:34,573
'Cause when I wear it,
it's a shirt.
108
00:04:35,675 --> 00:04:38,477
So, what's Howard
doing tonight?
109
00:04:38,479 --> 00:04:41,580
Oh, they all went with Leonard
to confront his childhood bully.
110
00:04:41,582 --> 00:04:42,848
Oh, terrific.
111
00:04:42,850 --> 00:04:46,785
High school quarterback
against four mathletes.
112
00:04:46,787 --> 00:04:47,886
When Leonard gets back,
113
00:04:47,888 --> 00:04:49,421
I'd love to check
his serotonin levels.
114
00:04:49,423 --> 00:04:52,290
Do you think he'd let me draw
a syringe full of his blood?
115
00:04:52,292 --> 00:04:54,059
Hmm, he's not crazy
about needles,
116
00:04:54,061 --> 00:04:56,094
but if you get him to go
jogging,
117
00:04:56,096 --> 00:04:57,896
it'll just pour out of his nose.
118
00:04:58,865 --> 00:05:00,065
I don't think
119
00:05:00,067 --> 00:05:02,701
I can meet the girl
who was always mean to me.
120
00:05:02,703 --> 00:05:04,202
Tammy Bodnick.
121
00:05:04,204 --> 00:05:06,138
One time
while I was in gym class,
122
00:05:06,140 --> 00:05:07,239
she stole all my clothes
123
00:05:07,241 --> 00:05:10,075
and left an elf costume
in my locker.
124
00:05:10,077 --> 00:05:11,977
Oh, that's awful.
125
00:05:11,979 --> 00:05:15,180
Worst part was, it was too big.
126
00:05:16,449 --> 00:05:17,749
That's nothing.
127
00:05:17,751 --> 00:05:21,052
In ninth grade, the girls put
Rogaine in my hand lotion.
128
00:05:22,021 --> 00:05:24,289
Within six months, the
nicknames began to fly.
129
00:05:24,291 --> 00:05:27,793
I think the one that hurt the
most was Gorilla Fingers Fowler.
130
00:05:27,795 --> 00:05:29,661
(sighs)
131
00:05:29,663 --> 00:05:32,063
Wow. You poor thing.
132
00:05:32,065 --> 00:05:34,065
What about you?
Oh.
133
00:05:34,067 --> 00:05:36,201
I don't know. I guess
my school was a nice place.
134
00:05:36,203 --> 00:05:37,369
We didn't really have bullies.
135
00:05:37,371 --> 00:05:40,205
Come on, no one ever
gave anyone mean nicknames
136
00:05:40,207 --> 00:05:42,841
or picked on them or put gum
in their hairy knuckles
137
00:05:42,843 --> 00:05:46,511
so the school nurse had to use
peanut butter to get it out?
138
00:05:46,513 --> 00:05:47,846
No, we weren't really like that.
139
00:05:47,848 --> 00:05:50,015
I mean, look, we played pranks
on each other,
140
00:05:50,017 --> 00:05:51,116
but it was never mean.
141
00:05:51,118 --> 00:05:52,617
Like, okay,
this one girl, Kathy Geiger,
142
00:05:52,619 --> 00:05:54,152
got really good grades,
so we blindfolded her,
143
00:05:54,154 --> 00:05:56,388
tied her up and left her
in a cornfield overnight.
144
00:05:58,891 --> 00:06:00,859
Oh, my God,
that's awful.
145
00:06:00,861 --> 00:06:03,428
No, it was funny.
Everyone laughed.
146
00:06:03,430 --> 00:06:05,730
Did Kathy
Geiger laugh?
147
00:06:05,732 --> 00:06:07,499
Uh, probably.
It's hard to say.
148
00:06:07,501 --> 00:06:10,435
She kind of had an ear
of corn in her mouth.
149
00:06:10,437 --> 00:06:12,671
Who would have thought
150
00:06:12,673 --> 00:06:16,641
Fuzzy Fingers Fowler
is best friends with a bully?
151
00:06:16,643 --> 00:06:19,311
What? I was not a bully.
152
00:06:19,313 --> 00:06:20,912
Kind of sounds like you were.
153
00:06:20,914 --> 00:06:23,348
And maybe a felon.
154
00:06:25,985 --> 00:06:28,353
Shh. That's how you
wind up in a cornfield.
155
00:06:33,459 --> 00:06:35,227
Is that him over there?
156
00:06:35,229 --> 00:06:36,661
No.
157
00:06:36,663 --> 00:06:38,630
How about that guy?
158
00:06:38,632 --> 00:06:40,966
He looks like he'd hate you.
159
00:06:40,968 --> 00:06:43,335
You know, I can really do this
by myself.
160
00:06:43,337 --> 00:06:44,970
Hey, we're here
to support you, buddy.
161
00:06:44,972 --> 00:06:46,571
No, you're not.
You're here to see
162
00:06:46,573 --> 00:06:48,640
if I get my underwear
pulled over my head.
163
00:06:48,642 --> 00:06:51,343
(laughing):
You wore underwear? You fool.
164
00:06:52,778 --> 00:06:54,913
So, have you figured out what
you're going to say to him?
165
00:06:54,915 --> 00:06:57,515
You bet. I am going to
make him apologize
166
00:06:57,517 --> 00:07:00,385
for all the crap
he pulled on me in school.
167
00:07:00,387 --> 00:07:02,287
That's quite a list.
168
00:07:02,289 --> 00:07:03,688
I can't read your handwriting.
169
00:07:03,690 --> 00:07:04,856
What's that word?
170
00:07:04,858 --> 00:07:06,324
"Scrotum."
171
00:07:06,326 --> 00:07:09,194
What's that one?
172
00:07:09,196 --> 00:07:11,463
Uh, "stapled."
173
00:07:12,865 --> 00:07:16,301
Leonard.
174
00:07:16,303 --> 00:07:18,970
(laughing)
Oh, hi.
175
00:07:18,972 --> 00:07:21,373
Holy crap, man,
it's good to see you.
176
00:07:21,375 --> 00:07:24,009
Yeah. You, too.
Uh, Jimmy, this is
177
00:07:24,011 --> 00:07:25,377
Sheldon and Raj and Howard.
178
00:07:25,379 --> 00:07:28,013
Hi. Fellas... Hey,
can I get a beer?
179
00:07:28,015 --> 00:07:29,848
Wow. Look at you.
180
00:07:29,850 --> 00:07:31,349
Little Leonard Hofstadter.
181
00:07:31,351 --> 00:07:33,218
I hear
you're a big-time scientist now.
182
00:07:33,220 --> 00:07:35,654
And there's the first
zinger. Ouch.
183
00:07:35,656 --> 00:07:38,323
I'm doing okay, I guess.
184
00:07:38,325 --> 00:07:40,525
Okay? Come on, I read online
185
00:07:40,527 --> 00:07:42,227
you're a physicist
at a university,
186
00:07:42,229 --> 00:07:43,361
you won some medal.
187
00:07:43,363 --> 00:07:45,063
The Newcomb medal.
188
00:07:45,065 --> 00:07:46,398
Yeah, congratulations.
189
00:07:46,400 --> 00:07:47,866
Congratulations?
190
00:07:47,868 --> 00:07:49,801
The Newcomb medal?
Oh, please.
191
00:07:49,803 --> 00:07:51,202
That's the scientific equivalent
192
00:07:51,204 --> 00:07:53,638
of a smiley face sticker
on your homework.
193
00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:56,141
From what I read,
it sounded like a big deal.
194
00:07:56,143 --> 00:07:58,543
Oh, good Lord,
are we going to stand here
195
00:07:58,545 --> 00:08:00,712
and listen to him
tear Leonard apart like this?
196
00:08:01,747 --> 00:08:03,648
Hey, I won a Newcomb medal, too.
197
00:08:03,650 --> 00:08:05,050
My point.
198
00:08:06,285 --> 00:08:08,119
You should have seen this guy
back in the day.
199
00:08:08,121 --> 00:08:11,022
Huh? He was so little, he could
fit in just about anywhere.
200
00:08:11,024 --> 00:08:13,124
Lockers, trash cans.
201
00:08:13,126 --> 00:08:16,328
Oh, man, how did you get
inside that backpack?
202
00:08:17,663 --> 00:08:19,464
Oh, I can't take all the credit.
203
00:08:19,466 --> 00:08:21,766
You helped a lot.
Yeah.
204
00:08:21,768 --> 00:08:23,668
We were practically
a comedy team.
205
00:08:23,670 --> 00:08:27,339
Like the Black Death
and Europe.
206
00:08:27,341 --> 00:08:31,209
Jimmy, I'm kind of curious why
you wanted to see me.
207
00:08:31,211 --> 00:08:33,078
Okay, here it is.
208
00:08:33,080 --> 00:08:34,546
I have this great
money-making idea.
209
00:08:34,548 --> 00:08:36,681
I just need a gear head
to get it to the finish line.
210
00:08:36,683 --> 00:08:38,350
Technically, Howard's the
gear head.
211
00:08:38,352 --> 00:08:41,386
Leonard's just a dime store
laser jockey.
212
00:08:41,388 --> 00:08:42,854
What's the idea?
213
00:08:42,856 --> 00:08:44,589
This is just between us, right?
214
00:08:44,591 --> 00:08:45,857
- Right.
- Okay.
215
00:08:45,859 --> 00:08:47,826
What do you think
about a pair of glasses
216
00:08:47,828 --> 00:08:50,261
that makes any movie
you want into 3D?
217
00:08:50,263 --> 00:08:51,629
That sounds amazing.
218
00:08:51,631 --> 00:08:55,600
First movie I'm
watching-- Annie.
219
00:08:56,736 --> 00:08:59,671
How exactly would
these glasses work?
220
00:08:59,673 --> 00:09:02,707
How the hell should I know?
That's why I need a nerd.
221
00:09:02,709 --> 00:09:06,544
I don't think something like
that's even possible.
222
00:09:06,546 --> 00:09:08,179
Aw, come on, you can
figure it out.
223
00:09:08,181 --> 00:09:09,881
You're like the smartest
guy I've ever known.
224
00:09:09,883 --> 00:09:11,116
The smartest...?!
225
00:09:11,118 --> 00:09:13,952
All right, you know,
I may not have
226
00:09:13,954 --> 00:09:18,089
a firm grasp on sarcasm, but
even I know that was a doozy.
227
00:09:19,325 --> 00:09:21,926
Leonard, you can't live in
fear of this man forever.
228
00:09:21,928 --> 00:09:23,495
Sheldon, I got this.
229
00:09:23,497 --> 00:09:25,030
You clearly don't.
230
00:09:25,032 --> 00:09:27,399
What my spineless friend
lacks the courage to say
231
00:09:27,401 --> 00:09:29,467
is you're a
terrible person
232
00:09:29,469 --> 00:09:30,735
who took advantage
233
00:09:30,737 --> 00:09:33,938
of his tiny size,
his uncoordinated nature
234
00:09:33,940 --> 00:09:36,041
and his congenital
lack of masculinity.
235
00:09:36,043 --> 00:09:37,075
Sheldon...
236
00:09:37,077 --> 00:09:38,910
Leonard, I platonically
love you, man,
237
00:09:38,912 --> 00:09:40,345
but face it, you're a mess.
238
00:09:42,281 --> 00:09:44,983
I don't understand.
239
00:09:44,985 --> 00:09:48,987
I think what he's trying to say
is that maybe in high school
240
00:09:48,989 --> 00:09:50,555
you picked on me a little bit.
241
00:09:50,557 --> 00:09:52,390
A little bit?
242
00:09:52,392 --> 00:09:55,493
The man Super Glued Hershey's
Kisses to your nipples.
243
00:09:57,730 --> 00:09:59,931
That's funny because those
aren't the kind of kisses
244
00:09:59,933 --> 00:10:01,433
you want on your nipples.
245
00:10:02,868 --> 00:10:04,135
What is that?
246
00:10:04,137 --> 00:10:07,238
This is a list of your heinous
acts against Leonard.
247
00:10:07,240 --> 00:10:09,808
One of which is certainly the
cause of him wetting his bed
248
00:10:09,810 --> 00:10:11,242
well into his teens.
249
00:10:12,278 --> 00:10:15,814
14 is not... Aw, never mind.
250
00:10:17,516 --> 00:10:20,018
What's this word?
251
00:10:20,020 --> 00:10:21,686
"Nancy."
252
00:10:22,521 --> 00:10:26,524
You called me Nancy
for three years.
253
00:10:27,593 --> 00:10:30,862
You really need to work
on your penmanship.
254
00:10:30,864 --> 00:10:33,965
Oh, man, I...
255
00:10:33,967 --> 00:10:36,334
I don't know what to say.
256
00:10:36,336 --> 00:10:38,470
I always thought we were
just having some fun.
257
00:10:38,472 --> 00:10:40,472
It wasn't fun for me.
258
00:10:41,373 --> 00:10:42,841
You're being too kind, Leonard.
259
00:10:42,843 --> 00:10:44,976
You ruined him.
260
00:10:45,911 --> 00:10:47,278
Come on, guys.
261
00:10:47,280 --> 00:10:49,481
That was pretty badass, dude.
262
00:10:49,483 --> 00:10:51,216
I help the weak.
263
00:10:51,218 --> 00:10:53,251
It's yet another way I'm
exactly like Batman.
264
00:10:53,253 --> 00:10:57,689
Hey, for the record, Jimmy
wasn't the reason I wet the bed.
265
00:10:57,691 --> 00:11:01,159
That one has my mother
written all over it.
266
00:11:06,208 --> 00:11:07,608
Anyway, I'm really sorry
267
00:11:07,610 --> 00:11:09,844
I made fun of your
stutter in high school.
268
00:11:09,846 --> 00:11:11,912
You're doing great.
269
00:11:11,914 --> 00:11:13,281
Uh-huh.
270
00:11:14,149 --> 00:11:15,449
Uh-huh.
271
00:11:15,451 --> 00:11:18,486
Oh, God, just
finish the sentence.
272
00:11:22,257 --> 00:11:25,760
Okay, well, I'm sorry
you feel that way. Bye.
273
00:11:25,762 --> 00:11:28,496
No one wants to hear
my apologies.
274
00:11:28,498 --> 00:11:30,498
I think your mistake is doing it
over the phone.
275
00:11:30,500 --> 00:11:33,167
If they could look
into your eyes, they'd melt.
276
00:11:35,203 --> 00:11:37,305
Penny, it doesn't matter
what you did in the past.
277
00:11:37,307 --> 00:11:38,973
You're a good person now.
278
00:11:38,975 --> 00:11:40,474
That's easy for you to say.
279
00:11:40,476 --> 00:11:43,611
You weren't just called
a "b-b-b-b-bitch."
280
00:11:43,613 --> 00:11:48,416
Perhaps you could assuage
your guilt through altruism.
281
00:11:50,919 --> 00:11:53,688
Which word's tripping you up?
282
00:11:53,690 --> 00:11:56,290
"Assuage," or "altruism"?
283
00:11:56,292 --> 00:11:59,026
Both.
284
00:12:00,262 --> 00:12:02,997
You'll feel better by doing
something nice for someone.
285
00:12:02,999 --> 00:12:05,599
- I actually knew that.
- I never doubted you.
286
00:12:06,935 --> 00:12:09,804
Every other week I serve at
a soup kitchen downtown.
287
00:12:09,806 --> 00:12:12,039
Ooh, I can't do that.
288
00:12:12,041 --> 00:12:15,009
If I stand over a steaming pot,
my hair just goes boing!
289
00:12:16,345 --> 00:12:17,812
What else could I do?
290
00:12:17,814 --> 00:12:20,681
There's Habitat for Humanity--
building houses for the poor.
291
00:12:20,683 --> 00:12:22,683
Okay, come on, I don't even
have my own house--
292
00:12:22,685 --> 00:12:24,118
I'm going to build one
for someone else?
293
00:12:24,120 --> 00:12:27,588
How about donating
some of your clothes?
294
00:12:27,590 --> 00:12:31,525
Oh, my God, that's perfect.
'Cause I have so many clothes
295
00:12:31,527 --> 00:12:33,027
I don't wear, and they're
just taking up space,
296
00:12:33,029 --> 00:12:36,030
and I go shopping to buy more stuff
and I have no place to put it.
297
00:12:36,032 --> 00:12:37,298
This will totally fix that.
298
00:12:37,300 --> 00:12:38,866
What about helping people?
299
00:12:38,868 --> 00:12:41,268
And helping people.
300
00:12:42,571 --> 00:12:45,172
Here's your cocoa.
301
00:12:45,174 --> 00:12:47,775
- Oh, half and half instead of whole milk?
- Yes.
302
00:12:47,777 --> 00:12:50,177
- Heated to precisely 183 degrees?
- Yes.
303
00:12:50,179 --> 00:12:52,079
Seven little marshmallows,
no more no less?
304
00:12:52,081 --> 00:12:54,382
You got one for good luck.
305
00:12:55,484 --> 00:12:56,884
(knocking)
I'll get it.
306
00:12:56,886 --> 00:12:59,353
One for good luck.
307
00:12:59,355 --> 00:13:02,056
Must be the kind of math
they do at Princeton.
308
00:13:05,460 --> 00:13:07,328
Hey.
309
00:13:07,330 --> 00:13:08,763
What are you doing here?
310
00:13:08,765 --> 00:13:12,933
I want to apologize for...
stapling your balls and...
311
00:13:14,136 --> 00:13:17,304
...throwing you naked
in the girls' locker room,
312
00:13:17,306 --> 00:13:19,206
stuffing that parrot
down your pants.
313
00:13:21,009 --> 00:13:22,143
What's this word?
314
00:13:22,844 --> 00:13:26,113
- "Laxative."
- Oh, right.
315
00:13:26,115 --> 00:13:28,883
Junior prom.
316
00:13:28,885 --> 00:13:32,019
That was not cool, man.
317
00:13:32,021 --> 00:13:34,388
I am so, so sorry.
318
00:13:34,390 --> 00:13:35,756
Really?
319
00:13:35,758 --> 00:13:39,293
Yeah. I just hope
you can forgive me.
320
00:13:39,295 --> 00:13:40,461
LEONARD:
Uh...
321
00:13:40,463 --> 00:13:41,962
Yeah.
322
00:13:41,964 --> 00:13:43,063
Sure, I guess.
323
00:13:43,065 --> 00:13:46,367
You're a beautiful guy.
324
00:13:46,369 --> 00:13:48,369
Well, thanks, Jimmy.
325
00:13:48,371 --> 00:13:49,737
Okay, I got to go.
326
00:13:49,739 --> 00:13:51,872
Are you okay to drive?
327
00:13:51,874 --> 00:13:54,074
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I drive better drunk.
328
00:13:54,076 --> 00:13:56,744
You know, it makes
you pay attention.
329
00:13:58,747 --> 00:14:01,148
No, no, no, come on in.
I'll make you a cup of coffee.
330
00:14:01,150 --> 00:14:02,850
- I wouldn't be imposing?
- No.
331
00:14:02,852 --> 00:14:05,052
Yes.
332
00:14:05,054 --> 00:14:08,322
Sheldon, we can't
let him drive.
333
00:14:08,324 --> 00:14:10,791
Then take away his keys
and make him wander the streets
334
00:14:10,793 --> 00:14:12,726
with the other drunks.
335
00:14:14,496 --> 00:14:17,264
You remember Sheldon
and Raj and Howard.
336
00:14:17,266 --> 00:14:18,833
Not really, no.
337
00:14:20,101 --> 00:14:21,535
It's funny, huh, Leonard?
338
00:14:21,537 --> 00:14:24,438
Back in school, I was the
winner and you were the loser.
339
00:14:24,440 --> 00:14:25,506
And now we're reversed.
340
00:14:25,508 --> 00:14:28,042
You're the winner.
341
00:14:28,044 --> 00:14:31,011
You'd think a winner could make
a decent cup of cocoa.
342
00:14:32,714 --> 00:14:35,716
- You mind if I use your bathroom?
- Yeah, just back there.
343
00:14:38,687 --> 00:14:40,287
How about that?
344
00:14:40,289 --> 00:14:43,390
After all these years,
your big bad high school bully
345
00:14:43,392 --> 00:14:45,159
finally apologizes.
346
00:14:45,161 --> 00:14:48,028
Yeah. It kind of rekindles
your faith
347
00:14:48,030 --> 00:14:50,097
in the basic goodness of people.
348
00:14:50,099 --> 00:14:52,700
You know what
would be nice?
349
00:14:52,702 --> 00:14:53,434
What's that?
350
00:14:53,436 --> 00:14:55,603
As a symbolic gesture
351
00:14:55,605 --> 00:14:58,772
to all the bullies who've
tormented us for years,
352
00:14:58,774 --> 00:15:03,777
we open our home to Jimmy and
once he's asleep we kill him.
353
00:15:08,450 --> 00:15:11,418
I said it would be nice--
I didn't say we should do it.
354
00:15:13,955 --> 00:15:17,458
I feel just like
Mother Teresa.
355
00:15:17,460 --> 00:15:19,226
Except for the virgin part.
356
00:15:19,228 --> 00:15:22,229
That ship sailed
a long time ago.
357
00:15:22,231 --> 00:15:27,001
I think Mother Teresa would
have washed the clothes first.
358
00:15:27,003 --> 00:15:28,903
Yeah, well, I bet
her laundry room
359
00:15:28,905 --> 00:15:30,871
wasn't down five flights
of stairs.
360
00:15:30,873 --> 00:15:34,742
You know, giving really
is better than receiving.
361
00:15:34,744 --> 00:15:38,546
I used to think it was such a cliche,
but it seems to be the...
362
00:15:38,548 --> 00:15:42,216
(gasps) Look at these cute jeans
someone just threw away.
363
00:15:42,218 --> 00:15:44,318
Donated.
364
00:15:46,855 --> 00:15:50,591
Yes, to a poor waitress
who loves a boot cut.
365
00:15:51,626 --> 00:15:52,626
Penny.
366
00:15:52,628 --> 00:15:54,728
Come on, they would
be so cute on me...
367
00:15:54,730 --> 00:15:56,931
They go great
with this sweater!
368
00:15:56,933 --> 00:15:59,066
I don't think
Mother Teresa...
369
00:15:59,068 --> 00:16:01,001
Oh, that is adorable.
370
00:16:12,380 --> 00:16:13,948
Leonard.
371
00:16:13,950 --> 00:16:16,016
- Yeah.
- In case it comes up again,
372
00:16:16,018 --> 00:16:19,820
this right here
is an imposition.
373
00:16:21,323 --> 00:16:22,790
What was I supposed to do?
374
00:16:22,792 --> 00:16:24,525
He needed a place
to sleep it off.
375
00:16:24,527 --> 00:16:26,093
You're soft.
376
00:16:26,095 --> 00:16:29,496
This world's going to chew
you up and spit you out.
377
00:16:29,498 --> 00:16:31,498
(belches)
378
00:16:31,500 --> 00:16:34,301
When did I have tacos?
379
00:16:35,937 --> 00:16:37,438
Morning, Jimmy.
380
00:16:37,440 --> 00:16:41,075
Oh, there it is, tacos.
381
00:16:41,077 --> 00:16:44,211
Man, I tied one on.
382
00:16:44,213 --> 00:16:45,379
Yeah, you did.
383
00:16:45,381 --> 00:16:48,515
So, uh, listen, it was
great to see you again.
384
00:16:48,517 --> 00:16:51,051
And thanks for
the apology.
385
00:16:51,053 --> 00:16:53,187
What apology?
386
00:16:53,189 --> 00:16:56,357
For all the crappy stuff
you did to me in high school.
387
00:16:56,359 --> 00:16:58,692
Geez, you're still harping
on that?
388
00:16:58,694 --> 00:16:59,960
What a puss.
389
00:16:59,962 --> 00:17:02,429
That's my French toast.
390
00:17:02,431 --> 00:17:04,098
It's good.
391
00:17:04,100 --> 00:17:06,834
You really know your way
around a kitchen, Nancy.
392
00:17:08,503 --> 00:17:10,739
I'm not going to say
I told you so,
393
00:17:10,764 --> 00:17:12,312
but we could have killed him.
394
00:17:15,210 --> 00:17:18,245
I might kill him right now.
395
00:17:18,247 --> 00:17:20,881
The Dark Knight
has your back.
396
00:17:20,883 --> 00:17:23,384
He's scared, but
he has your back.
397
00:17:23,386 --> 00:17:25,586
Okay, Jimmy, it's time
for you to go.
398
00:17:25,588 --> 00:17:27,054
Yeah, all right, let
me just finish this.
399
00:17:27,056 --> 00:17:29,423
No, you're done. I want you out
of my apartment right now.
400
00:17:29,425 --> 00:17:32,359
Well said, Boy Wonder.
401
00:17:33,194 --> 00:17:35,896
Or what?
402
00:17:35,898 --> 00:17:36,971
Don't answer that.
It's a trick question.
403
00:17:36,996 --> 00:17:38,196
I speak from experience.
404
00:17:41,736 --> 00:17:44,171
I'm not afraid of you
anymore, Jimmy.
405
00:17:44,173 --> 00:17:45,739
Now get out!
406
00:17:46,875 --> 00:17:48,942
Uh-oh.
407
00:17:50,745 --> 00:17:52,746
You did it, Leonard,
you stood up to your bully.
408
00:17:52,748 --> 00:17:55,349
Yeah, I feel pretty good
about myself.
409
00:17:57,152 --> 00:17:59,553
You think we can
outrun him?
410
00:17:59,555 --> 00:18:02,623
I don't need to outrun him,
I just need to outrun you.
411
00:18:10,915 --> 00:18:12,500
I don't feel
good about this.
412
00:18:12,501 --> 00:18:14,701
Then sit in the car
and keep it running.
413
00:18:15,503 --> 00:18:18,372
You were right--
a whole new load.
414
00:18:21,209 --> 00:18:24,144
Come on, yoga top.
Mama needs a new yoga top.
415
00:18:24,146 --> 00:18:26,813
Check it out, Bernadette,
suede boots, your size.
416
00:18:26,815 --> 00:18:28,949
God, they're cute.
417
00:18:28,951 --> 00:18:31,585
Oh, why did they have
to be cute?
418
00:18:31,587 --> 00:18:34,321
Wait, wait, wait, guys,
just hang on.
419
00:18:34,323 --> 00:18:36,223
What is it, the fuzz?
420
00:18:38,626 --> 00:18:40,661
Look at us.
421
00:18:40,663 --> 00:18:42,129
What are we doing?
422
00:18:42,131 --> 00:18:45,165
I was gleefully following you
to a life of crime,
423
00:18:45,167 --> 00:18:48,502
looking forward to the day
we might be cell mates.
424
00:18:51,172 --> 00:18:54,141
I don't know about Bernadette.
425
00:18:54,143 --> 00:18:58,679
You know, this is wrong.
Let's put everything back.
426
00:18:58,681 --> 00:19:00,948
Here.
427
00:19:10,625 --> 00:19:12,526
It's okay, I serve soup
to poor people!
428
00:19:12,528 --> 00:19:16,528
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