1
00:00:04,090 --> 00:00:07,326
Wow. They found a way to make
the human being even creepier.
2
00:00:07,360 --> 00:00:08,694
Covering him in icicles.
3
00:00:08,712 --> 00:00:10,129
I think it's festive.
4
00:00:10,163 --> 00:00:11,714
Yeah, my favorite
Christmas tradition
5
00:00:11,748 --> 00:00:13,332
is trimming the hellraiser.
6
00:00:13,366 --> 00:00:15,184
Guys, I found something
we can watch together
7
00:00:15,218 --> 00:00:16,752
for Christmas this year.
8
00:00:16,803 --> 00:00:20,272
The long-lost 1981 Inspector
Spacetime Holiday Special.
9
00:00:20,307 --> 00:00:22,608
Run time two and half hours
and so critically reviled
10
00:00:22,642 --> 00:00:25,127
that after it aired, the creator
has his knighthood revoked.
11
00:00:25,161 --> 00:00:26,612
That sounds terrible.
12
00:00:26,646 --> 00:00:28,247
I want to watch it twice,
13
00:00:28,281 --> 00:00:30,249
but I'm spending Christmas
with my relatives.
14
00:00:30,283 --> 00:00:33,118
Or rather, I'm spending
the day with my relatives
15
00:00:33,153 --> 00:00:34,770
while they refuse
to acknowledge Christmas.
16
00:00:34,821 --> 00:00:37,556
You Jehovah's Witnesses--
so severe.
17
00:00:37,590 --> 00:00:39,558
Andre and I will be spending
Christmas giving gifts
18
00:00:39,592 --> 00:00:41,493
to the more persuadable
of our Jewish friends.
19
00:00:41,528 --> 00:00:43,946
I wouldn't call an unannounced
visit from your pastor "a gift."
20
00:00:43,997 --> 00:00:45,397
And don't bother this year.
21
00:00:45,415 --> 00:00:46,949
I'll be at the movies
with my bubbe.
22
00:00:47,000 --> 00:00:49,468
You're not taking both of them?
23
00:00:49,502 --> 00:00:51,470
Well, one's dead.
24
00:00:51,504 --> 00:00:52,788
- What?
- I was looking forward
25
00:00:52,839 --> 00:00:54,590
to hanging out with you guys
this Christmas.
26
00:00:54,624 --> 00:00:56,709
This semester has been so long
and dark and angry.
27
00:00:56,743 --> 00:00:57,743
I was thinking we could have
28
00:00:57,777 --> 00:00:59,044
some light-hearted fun
as a family.
29
00:00:59,079 --> 00:01:00,212
I think what we've learned,
Abed,
30
00:01:00,246 --> 00:01:02,514
is that attempts to make
the holidays brighter
31
00:01:02,549 --> 00:01:04,183
tend to give them
a certain darkness.
32
00:01:04,217 --> 00:01:05,718
Oh, I don't know
if I agree with that.
33
00:01:05,752 --> 00:01:07,853
♪ Deck the halls
with boughs of holly ♪
34
00:01:07,887 --> 00:01:08,854
Actually, maybe I do.
35
00:01:08,888 --> 00:01:10,723
Heads up.
Glee club.
36
00:01:10,757 --> 00:01:12,591
All: ♪ 'tis the season
to be jolly ♪
37
00:01:12,609 --> 00:01:14,860
♪ fa la la la la
la la rock on! ♪
38
00:01:14,894 --> 00:01:16,862
Merry Christmas, Greendale.
39
00:01:16,896 --> 00:01:18,731
Glee club here, reminding you
40
00:01:18,765 --> 00:01:21,283
that our Christmas pageant
is coming.
41
00:01:21,317 --> 00:01:23,635
Next stop, regionals!
44
00:01:26,406 --> 00:01:28,707
♪ I said deck ♪
45
00:01:28,742 --> 00:01:30,709
Please tell me we were
not this obnoxious
46
00:01:30,744 --> 00:01:31,910
the year we filled in for them.
47
00:01:31,945 --> 00:01:33,812
T-minus five seconds
till hip-hop remix.
48
00:01:33,847 --> 00:01:35,297
Four, three.
49
00:01:35,331 --> 00:01:37,833
Come on!
Re-re-re-remix!
50
00:01:37,884 --> 00:01:39,785
Re-re-re-remix!
51
00:01:39,803 --> 00:01:40,886
♪ Fa la la la la
f-a l-a ♪
52
00:01:40,920 --> 00:01:41,887
♪ come on whoo ♪
53
00:01:41,921 --> 00:01:43,288
You're awfully quiet, Jeff.
54
00:01:43,323 --> 00:01:45,290
Nobody hates glee club
more than you.
55
00:01:45,325 --> 00:01:47,643
Today I'm just content
to sit back and enjoy the show.
56
00:01:47,677 --> 00:01:49,628
And now
our pop music mash-up!
57
00:01:49,662 --> 00:01:51,296
Elton Lil' John Lennon!
58
00:01:51,314 --> 00:01:52,297
Glee club girls:
Kick it!
59
00:01:52,315 --> 00:01:53,899
Hey, tiny dancer!
60
00:01:53,933 --> 00:01:55,150
Okay!
61
00:01:55,185 --> 00:01:56,402
Stop!
62
00:01:56,436 --> 00:02:00,239
Cease and desist.
63
00:02:00,273 --> 00:02:02,274
Glee club, meet ASCAP,
64
00:02:02,308 --> 00:02:05,411
protecting musical copyrights
since 1914.
65
00:02:05,445 --> 00:02:06,745
It appears they have received
an anonymous tip
66
00:02:06,780 --> 00:02:09,031
that unlicensed material
was being performed here
67
00:02:09,082 --> 00:02:10,582
without the artists' permission.
68
00:02:10,617 --> 00:02:12,167
Merry Christmas, everyone.
69
00:02:12,202 --> 00:02:14,253
Glee club
just became history club.
70
00:02:14,287 --> 00:02:17,372
[Cheering]
71
00:02:17,424 --> 00:02:19,424
[Screaming]
72
00:02:24,831 --> 00:02:26,298
My soul is dead!
73
00:02:26,332 --> 00:02:27,866
Oh!
74
00:02:27,901 --> 00:02:30,436
Okay, if anyone asks,
we were never here.
75
00:02:30,470 --> 00:02:33,305
[Screaming continues]
76
00:02:33,339 --> 00:02:34,840
Why?
77
00:02:34,858 --> 00:02:38,861
♪ Give me some rope,
time in a tree ♪
78
00:02:38,895 --> 00:02:42,064
♪ give me the hope
to run out of steam ♪
79
00:02:42,115 --> 00:02:45,451
♪ somebody said
we could be here ♪
80
00:02:45,485 --> 00:02:49,404
♪ we could be roped up,
tied up, dead in a year ♪
81
00:02:49,456 --> 00:02:54,460
♪ I can't count the reasons
I should stay ♪
82
00:02:54,494 --> 00:02:58,977
♪ one by one they all
just fade away ♪
83
00:02:58,978 --> 00:03:01,478
Sync by honeybunny, corrected by susanaLC
www.addic7ed.com
84
00:03:01,584 --> 00:03:03,769
The glee club
is at Westside Hospital,
85
00:03:03,803 --> 00:03:07,105
recuperating from
a collective nervous breakdown.
86
00:03:07,140 --> 00:03:10,676
This is the second glee club
we've lost in two years.
87
00:03:10,710 --> 00:03:13,211
We might have to cancel
the Christmas pageant.
88
00:03:13,229 --> 00:03:16,064
And to think they were
this close to regionals.
89
00:03:16,099 --> 00:03:17,115
What the hell are regionals?
90
00:03:17,150 --> 00:03:19,568
They're this close, Pierce.
91
00:03:19,602 --> 00:03:22,554
Anyway, an old friend
wants to talk to you.
92
00:03:22,572 --> 00:03:24,790
Your favorite
glee club instructor,
93
00:03:24,824 --> 00:03:28,777
the dreamy and boyish
Mr. Cory Radison!
94
00:03:28,828 --> 00:03:30,662
Oh!
[Laughter]
95
00:03:30,697 --> 00:03:33,282
Uh, I thought I told you
to call me Mr. Rad.
96
00:03:33,333 --> 00:03:34,466
Or Cory.
97
00:03:34,501 --> 00:03:35,918
Just don't call me
"late to dinner."
98
00:03:35,952 --> 00:03:37,452
Unless you're serving
brussels sprouts!
99
00:03:37,504 --> 00:03:40,589
[Laughter]
I won't, I promise!
100
00:03:40,623 --> 00:03:43,041
This guy's like human froyo.
101
00:03:43,076 --> 00:03:45,878
Look, when the last glee club
died in that bus crash,
102
00:03:45,912 --> 00:03:47,246
you guys stepped up.
103
00:03:47,280 --> 00:03:49,765
And you were the best gosh darn
emergency substitutes
104
00:03:49,799 --> 00:03:50,766
I've ever worked with.
105
00:03:50,800 --> 00:03:52,301
Both: Aw!
Well, this time...
106
00:03:52,352 --> 00:03:55,304
I'm not gonna kid you.
I won't be easy.
107
00:03:55,355 --> 00:03:56,655
- Oh!
- Your best...
108
00:03:56,689 --> 00:03:58,490
Won't be good enough.
109
00:03:58,525 --> 00:04:00,959
And ten times your best
will be so bad,
110
00:04:00,994 --> 00:04:03,028
I will yell at you.
111
00:04:03,062 --> 00:04:05,864
But I promise,
if we dig down--
112
00:04:05,899 --> 00:04:07,866
- Pass.
- All: Yeah.
113
00:04:07,901 --> 00:04:11,203
Okay.
114
00:04:11,237 --> 00:04:13,505
Whew.
115
00:04:13,540 --> 00:04:16,508
Don't you hurt him.
116
00:04:16,543 --> 00:04:17,876
Mr. Rad!
117
00:04:17,911 --> 00:04:19,995
I feel like we let
Mr. Rad down.
118
00:04:20,046 --> 00:04:22,014
No, he let himself down
when he left the house
119
00:04:22,048 --> 00:04:23,582
this morning
wearing a sweater-vest.
120
00:04:23,616 --> 00:04:25,334
I guess we did have fun
last time.
121
00:04:25,385 --> 00:04:27,219
Did we?
I can hardly remember.
122
00:04:27,253 --> 00:04:29,137
It's all a weird, happy,
musical fog.
123
00:04:29,172 --> 00:04:31,023
Yeah, it was almost
like being on ecstasy,
124
00:04:31,057 --> 00:04:33,091
only instead of having
pointless conversations
125
00:04:33,125 --> 00:04:35,177
and dancing like idiots--
wait.
126
00:04:35,228 --> 00:04:37,679
It was exactly
like being on ecstasy!
127
00:04:37,730 --> 00:04:38,864
That's what worries me
about this guy.
128
00:04:38,898 --> 00:04:41,183
He is equal parts hanson
and manson.
129
00:04:41,234 --> 00:04:44,169
Nobody let him corner you until
he is out of recruitment mode,
130
00:04:44,203 --> 00:04:45,604
or next thing you know,
131
00:04:45,638 --> 00:04:48,340
we'll all be caring
about Christmas pageants and...
132
00:04:48,374 --> 00:04:49,324
Regionals.
133
00:04:49,359 --> 00:04:50,359
- You're right, deal.
- Ugh.
134
00:04:50,410 --> 00:04:51,360
- Agreed.
- Got you.
135
00:04:51,411 --> 00:04:53,078
What the hell are regionals?
136
00:04:53,112 --> 00:04:56,114
[Melancholy piano tune]
137
00:05:02,538 --> 00:05:03,922
What are you still doing here?
138
00:05:03,957 --> 00:05:05,791
I thought I'd give her
one more tinkle
139
00:05:05,825 --> 00:05:07,960
before I took down decorations.
140
00:05:07,994 --> 00:05:10,662
No glee club means no pageant,
means no Christmas.
141
00:05:10,697 --> 00:05:12,030
I'm sure trying
to make things brighter
142
00:05:12,065 --> 00:05:13,966
just would've made
more darkness.
143
00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:17,402
That sounds like
a certain ex-lawyer talking.
144
00:05:17,437 --> 00:05:19,771
I see a lot of myself in you,
Abed.
145
00:05:19,806 --> 00:05:21,673
You care about your friends,
and you wish they cared
146
00:05:21,708 --> 00:05:23,108
more about each other.
147
00:05:23,142 --> 00:05:25,394
That's not an easy position
to be in sometimes.
148
00:05:25,445 --> 00:05:26,478
I just want my friends and I
149
00:05:26,512 --> 00:05:27,679
to have
a merry Christmas together.
150
00:05:27,714 --> 00:05:29,214
Well, maybe you could start
151
00:05:29,248 --> 00:05:31,950
by giving them the greatest
Christmas gift of all.
152
00:05:31,985 --> 00:05:33,385
What's that?
153
00:05:33,419 --> 00:05:34,519
Glee!
154
00:05:34,554 --> 00:05:36,688
♪ It's a feeling you get ♪
155
00:05:36,723 --> 00:05:39,958
♪ when your brain finally lets
your heart get in its pants ♪
156
00:05:39,993 --> 00:05:41,159
♪ Glee! ♪
157
00:05:41,194 --> 00:05:42,461
♪It's like a drug
that you use ♪
158
00:05:42,495 --> 00:05:44,046
♪ that turns pain into shoes ♪
159
00:05:44,080 --> 00:05:46,164
♪ and your shoes into dance ♪
160
00:05:46,198 --> 00:05:49,217
♪ How's your piano
still playing this song? ♪
161
00:05:49,252 --> 00:05:50,502
♪ Glee is the answer ♪
162
00:05:50,536 --> 00:05:52,437
♪ when questions are wrong ♪
163
00:05:52,472 --> 00:05:55,257
♪ you'll understand
if you just sing along ♪
164
00:05:55,308 --> 00:05:56,758
♪ 'cause glee is the gift ♪
165
00:05:56,809 --> 00:06:00,228
♪ that you need ♪
166
00:06:00,263 --> 00:06:02,898
♪ Glee is what I'll spread
to my friends ♪
167
00:06:02,932 --> 00:06:07,019
♪ like a virus that sends them
to a healthier place ♪
168
00:06:07,053 --> 00:06:09,271
♪ Glee!
I'll understand every scene ♪
169
00:06:09,322 --> 00:06:11,156
♪ because they'll sing
what they mean ♪
170
00:06:11,190 --> 00:06:12,824
♪ instead of making a face ♪
171
00:06:12,859 --> 00:06:16,227
♪ families are closer
when families are winning ♪
172
00:06:16,245 --> 00:06:19,247
♪ everything's cooler
when cameras are spinning ♪
173
00:06:19,282 --> 00:06:21,466
Both: ♪ singing and dancing
in unison... ♪
174
00:06:21,501 --> 00:06:22,617
♪ in-inning ♪
175
00:06:22,669 --> 00:06:24,920
♪ glee is the gift ♪
176
00:06:24,954 --> 00:06:27,472
♪ that we need ♪
177
00:06:27,507 --> 00:06:29,441
Glee!
178
00:06:29,475 --> 00:06:31,009
Thank you, Mr. Rad.
179
00:06:31,044 --> 00:06:32,477
Don't break down the set yet.
180
00:06:32,512 --> 00:06:36,298
I'm gonna try to get my friends
to be in the Christmas pageant.
181
00:06:36,349 --> 00:06:40,619
[Chuckles]
Thank you, Abed!
182
00:06:40,653 --> 00:06:42,154
Thank you.
183
00:06:48,974 --> 00:06:51,557
[Humming]
184
00:06:52,026 --> 00:06:53,076
Merry Christmas, Troy.
185
00:06:53,110 --> 00:06:54,828
Abed, you look gleeful.
186
00:06:54,862 --> 00:06:56,496
Troy, don't you think
it might actually be fun,
187
00:06:56,530 --> 00:06:58,031
doing this Christmas pageant
for the glee club?
188
00:06:58,065 --> 00:07:00,300
Abed, we hate the glee club.
189
00:07:00,334 --> 00:07:01,735
Yeah.
190
00:07:01,769 --> 00:07:03,136
I guess I just like
liking things.
191
00:07:03,170 --> 00:07:06,039
Abed.
192
00:07:06,073 --> 00:07:09,626
Look, you know I'd do anything
you did, but...
193
00:07:09,677 --> 00:07:11,177
[Sighs]
I'm a Jehovah's Witness.
194
00:07:11,212 --> 00:07:12,679
We're not supposed
to celebrate Christmas.
195
00:07:12,713 --> 00:07:14,948
I've been thinking about that.
196
00:07:14,982 --> 00:07:16,800
I may have a loophole.
[Suspenseful music]
197
00:07:16,851 --> 00:07:18,351
What if you were
a Jehovah's Witness
198
00:07:18,385 --> 00:07:20,804
that was merely pretending
to be into Christmas,
199
00:07:20,855 --> 00:07:22,222
gathering clues and blending in
200
00:07:22,256 --> 00:07:23,923
to take down the holidays
from within?
201
00:07:23,958 --> 00:07:26,259
You mean like a spy
investigating,
202
00:07:26,293 --> 00:07:27,861
making it seem
like I'm celebrating,
203
00:07:27,895 --> 00:07:31,197
when actually I'm infiltrating
Santa's operation?
204
00:07:31,232 --> 00:07:32,198
- Yoip!
- ♪ Going deep cover ♪
205
00:07:32,233 --> 00:07:33,616
♪ past enemy lines ♪
206
00:07:33,651 --> 00:07:35,285
♪ making everybody think
I'm on the Christmas side ♪
207
00:07:35,319 --> 00:07:37,303
♪ rocking warm sweaters,
hanging big-ass lights ♪
208
00:07:37,338 --> 00:07:39,205
♪ if the fat man can see me,
yo it's gotta look right ♪
209
00:07:39,240 --> 00:07:40,824
♪ I'll watch all the tv specials
that I never could ♪
210
00:07:40,875 --> 00:07:42,942
♪ I'll even cry during the sad
ones, like James Bond would ♪
211
00:07:42,977 --> 00:07:44,744
♪ and when the big night comes,
it's time to set the bait ♪
212
00:07:44,778 --> 00:07:46,629
♪ cold milk, hot cookies ♪
Both: ♪ decorative plate ♪
213
00:07:46,664 --> 00:07:47,714
♪ and he'll come down
the chim-in-ey ♪
214
00:07:47,748 --> 00:07:48,948
♪ and it will be
just him and me ♪
215
00:07:48,966 --> 00:07:50,283
♪ but he won't know
we're enemies ♪
216
00:07:50,317 --> 00:07:51,501
♪ 'cause I'll play sincere,
spring a trap ♪
217
00:07:51,552 --> 00:07:52,802
♪ like that, hug him tight,
get on his lap ♪
218
00:07:52,837 --> 00:07:54,287
♪ and tell him he can
come back every year ♪
219
00:07:54,321 --> 00:07:55,972
♪ 'cause I am Jehovah's
most secret witness ♪
220
00:07:56,006 --> 00:07:57,841
♪ so I might have to dedicate
my life to Christmas ♪
221
00:07:57,892 --> 00:08:01,327
♪ and act just like I love it
till the day I die ♪
222
00:08:01,362 --> 00:08:03,513
♪ A-b-e-d
connoisseur of Christmas ♪
223
00:08:03,564 --> 00:08:05,598
♪ on the spectrum,
none of your business ♪
224
00:08:05,632 --> 00:08:07,233
♪ talks to fast to comprehend ♪
225
00:08:07,268 --> 00:08:08,768
♪ just wanna do right
by my friend ♪
226
00:08:08,803 --> 00:08:11,137
♪ if years were seasons,
this December ♪
227
00:08:11,172 --> 00:08:13,139
♪ would be the December
of our December ♪
228
00:08:13,157 --> 00:08:14,807
♪ more blueprints
than Howard Hughes ♪
229
00:08:14,825 --> 00:08:16,776
♪ but if they are blue prints,
how do we choose? ♪
230
00:08:16,810 --> 00:08:18,344
♪ we have to be happy
to get to the end ♪
231
00:08:18,379 --> 00:08:20,446
♪ we have to save Christmas
to save our friends ♪
232
00:08:20,480 --> 00:08:22,348
Both: ♪ we have to save
Christmas to save our friends ♪
233
00:08:22,383 --> 00:08:24,918
♪ we have to save Christmas
to save our friends ♪
234
00:08:24,952 --> 00:08:26,819
Hey, guys.
235
00:08:26,837 --> 00:08:28,054
Rapping?
236
00:08:28,088 --> 00:08:31,391
- Yep, wanna join us?
- Totally!
237
00:08:31,425 --> 00:08:33,993
Wait, you guys never
let me rap with you.
238
00:08:34,028 --> 00:08:35,128
Well, we're gonna need
all hands on deck
239
00:08:35,162 --> 00:08:38,131
if we're gonna go to regionals.
240
00:08:38,165 --> 00:08:39,632
Cool.
241
00:08:39,667 --> 00:08:41,568
I just need to...
Study...
242
00:08:41,602 --> 00:08:43,369
Though...In my room.
243
00:08:43,404 --> 00:08:44,804
So have fun!
244
00:08:44,838 --> 00:08:46,472
And then, this morning,
245
00:08:46,506 --> 00:08:47,640
I could hear them
in the bathroom,
246
00:08:47,674 --> 00:08:49,742
doing
country Western mash-ups.
247
00:08:49,777 --> 00:08:51,544
And they won't stop talking
about regionals!
248
00:08:51,579 --> 00:08:52,812
Maybe it's nothing.
249
00:08:52,846 --> 00:08:54,147
Yeah, if "nothing"
wears a sweater-vest
250
00:08:54,181 --> 00:08:55,698
and seems aggressively asexual.
251
00:08:55,733 --> 00:08:58,351
Come on, let's all study
for our biology final
252
00:08:58,385 --> 00:09:00,069
in our old--
253
00:09:00,120 --> 00:09:02,088
Where's our table?
254
00:09:02,122 --> 00:09:04,891
Who's that guy?
255
00:09:04,925 --> 00:09:06,793
You guys all see him too,
right?
256
00:09:06,827 --> 00:09:08,378
- Hey, guys.
- Merry Christmas, y'all.
257
00:09:08,429 --> 00:09:10,046
Sorry about the rearrangement.
258
00:09:10,097 --> 00:09:11,798
We need this space to rehearse
for the pageant.
259
00:09:11,832 --> 00:09:13,666
But we're not doing
the pageant.
260
00:09:13,684 --> 00:09:15,435
Look, guys,
I hear your negativity,
261
00:09:15,469 --> 00:09:17,203
but also,
can I counter with this?
262
00:09:17,238 --> 00:09:19,005
Who hates glee?
263
00:09:19,039 --> 00:09:20,807
Listen to how that sounds.
264
00:09:20,841 --> 00:09:23,176
Glee literally
means "glee."
265
00:09:23,210 --> 00:09:24,477
Oh, stop it!
266
00:09:24,511 --> 00:09:26,396
Not liking glee club
doesn't make us bullies,
267
00:09:26,447 --> 00:09:28,548
and implying that
is reverse bullying.
268
00:09:28,582 --> 00:09:29,916
Good point.
Sing about it?
269
00:09:29,950 --> 00:09:30,917
All: No!
270
00:09:30,951 --> 00:09:33,253
I understand them,
but you, Pierce?
271
00:09:33,287 --> 00:09:34,754
Your generation invented music!
272
00:09:34,788 --> 00:09:37,624
I don't know
about "invented."
273
00:09:37,658 --> 00:09:39,692
Perfected, maybe.
Pierce!
274
00:09:39,710 --> 00:09:41,561
They're just trying to pander
to your demographics'
275
00:09:41,595 --> 00:09:43,796
well-documented
historical vanity. Resist!
276
00:09:43,831 --> 00:09:45,632
Abed,
wasn't Santa Claus himself
277
00:09:45,666 --> 00:09:46,966
part of Pierce's peer group?
278
00:09:47,001 --> 00:09:49,002
I believe so.
279
00:09:49,036 --> 00:09:51,037
Both: One, two,
three, four.
280
00:09:51,055 --> 00:09:53,539
♪ Santa Claus
was born in 1945 ♪
281
00:09:53,557 --> 00:09:56,476
♪ He had a boogie woogie
Coca-Cola army jive ♪
282
00:09:56,510 --> 00:09:59,596
♪ and when the commies
gave the polio to Doris Day ♪
283
00:09:59,647 --> 00:10:01,648
♪ Santa helped the Beatles
chase McCarthy away ♪
284
00:10:01,682 --> 00:10:04,651
♪ that baby boomer Santa ♪
285
00:10:04,685 --> 00:10:06,436
♪ he's never gonna die ♪
286
00:10:06,487 --> 00:10:10,406
♪ Santa fought at Woodstock
and Vietnam ♪
287
00:10:10,441 --> 00:10:15,128
♪ and smoked a ton of acid
and burnt his bra ♪
288
00:10:15,162 --> 00:10:19,582
♪ and then in 1970,
he did more drugs ♪
289
00:10:19,617 --> 00:10:22,635
♪ and his hair stayed long
and he ♪
290
00:10:22,670 --> 00:10:25,038
♪ grew a mustache ♪
291
00:10:25,072 --> 00:10:27,740
Both:
♪ baby boomer Santa ♪
292
00:10:27,758 --> 00:10:32,128
♪ he's gonna stay
Ali-I-I-ive ♪
293
00:10:32,179 --> 00:10:36,916
♪ Santa invented
Spielberg and microchips ♪
294
00:10:36,934 --> 00:10:41,587
♪ Santa invented
Coca-Cola and aerobics ♪
295
00:10:41,622 --> 00:10:44,924
♪ he made the iron curtain
and the Gremlins 2♪
296
00:10:44,942 --> 00:10:48,144
♪ fake butter and AIDS
and Twin Peaks! ♪
297
00:10:48,195 --> 00:10:50,029
Both:
♪ baby boomer Santa ♪
298
00:10:50,064 --> 00:10:51,814
♪ thank you for MTV ♪
299
00:10:51,865 --> 00:10:54,867
♪ Ow! Ow! ♪
300
00:10:54,902 --> 00:10:56,452
♪ baby boomer Santa ♪
301
00:10:56,487 --> 00:10:58,821
♪ thank you for everything ♪
302
00:10:58,872 --> 00:11:00,573
♪ You're welcome ♪
303
00:11:00,607 --> 00:11:03,710
♪ You're welcome
for everything ♪
304
00:11:03,744 --> 00:11:05,211
♪ in the world ♪
305
00:11:05,245 --> 00:11:06,879
♪ you're welcome ♪
306
00:11:06,914 --> 00:11:10,049
♪ you're welcome
for all that I bring ♪
307
00:11:10,084 --> 00:11:11,651
♪ to the world ♪
308
00:11:11,685 --> 00:11:14,120
♪ I'm baby boomer Santa ♪
309
00:11:14,138 --> 00:11:18,791
♪ I bring the gift
of the world ♪
310
00:11:18,809 --> 00:11:20,727
♪ baby boomer Santa ♪
311
00:11:20,761 --> 00:11:25,014
♪ I'm an American pearl ♪
312
00:11:25,065 --> 00:11:27,233
- Pierce is on board.
- That's great!
313
00:11:27,267 --> 00:11:28,634
For the Christmas queen,
I'm hoping
314
00:11:28,652 --> 00:11:29,969
we can get Shirley or Annie.
315
00:11:30,004 --> 00:11:31,404
They both have
really strong voices
316
00:11:31,438 --> 00:11:33,323
and natural
♪ vibrato. ♪
317
00:11:33,357 --> 00:11:36,042
- There's also Britta.
- Britta's adorable!
318
00:11:36,076 --> 00:11:38,328
So Shirley or Annie
for the Christmas queen.
319
00:11:38,362 --> 00:11:39,662
There's a leaf
on Britta's head.
320
00:11:39,697 --> 00:11:41,414
She's playing a tree!
321
00:11:41,448 --> 00:11:43,883
And it's gonna be so fun!
322
00:11:43,917 --> 00:11:46,619
Mr. Radison, who authorized
you to rearrange our study room,
323
00:11:46,653 --> 00:11:48,087
and who do you think
you are anyway?
324
00:11:48,122 --> 00:11:51,157
I'll tell you.
325
00:11:51,191 --> 00:11:52,425
[Plays one note]
326
00:11:52,459 --> 00:11:53,626
[Barbershop quartet style]
♪ Well ♪
327
00:11:53,660 --> 00:11:55,261
♪ well ♪
328
00:11:55,295 --> 00:11:58,097
♪ well ♪
329
00:11:58,132 --> 00:11:59,999
I'm scared to go
into the study room.
330
00:12:00,034 --> 00:12:01,634
There are so many top hats
in there.
331
00:12:01,668 --> 00:12:03,403
I wish there was a way
we could stop all this.
332
00:12:03,437 --> 00:12:05,805
I mean, I realize the stakes
aren't actually that high,
333
00:12:05,839 --> 00:12:07,707
but somehow, that just
makes it extra scary.
334
00:12:07,741 --> 00:12:08,891
I know.
335
00:12:08,942 --> 00:12:11,527
Jeff, I think I know
what Mr. Rad is up to.
336
00:12:11,562 --> 00:12:15,064
There's something
you have to see.
337
00:12:15,115 --> 00:12:17,483
Mr. Rad plans to get
every single member
338
00:12:17,518 --> 00:12:19,285
of our study group
to join the glee club.
339
00:12:19,319 --> 00:12:21,354
Well, I don't know how
he thinks that's gonna happen.
340
00:12:21,388 --> 00:12:23,740
I'll show you.
341
00:12:23,791 --> 00:12:25,091
Wha--?
342
00:12:25,125 --> 00:12:27,360
This is just one
of the many costume changes
343
00:12:27,394 --> 00:12:29,028
I'll be doing during the show.
344
00:12:29,063 --> 00:12:31,964
We're a shoo-in for regionals,
right?
345
00:12:31,999 --> 00:12:33,066
Annie, you too?
346
00:12:33,100 --> 00:12:34,050
This is beneath you.
347
00:12:34,084 --> 00:12:35,868
You are an intelligent woman.
348
00:12:35,886 --> 00:12:37,670
Also, you're Jewish!
349
00:12:37,704 --> 00:12:39,205
[Flirtatiously] I guess
I have a lot to learn
350
00:12:39,239 --> 00:12:41,307
about holiday tradition.
351
00:12:41,341 --> 00:12:45,428
[Upbeat piano tune]
352
00:12:45,479 --> 00:12:49,649
♪ Teach me how
to understand Christmas ♪
353
00:12:49,683 --> 00:12:53,886
♪ show me how to open a box ♪
354
00:12:53,904 --> 00:12:55,772
♪ it hurts my little head ♪
355
00:12:55,823 --> 00:12:58,224
♪ when I'm lying in my bed ♪
356
00:12:58,242 --> 00:13:01,194
♪ with visions
of sugarplum socks ♪
357
00:13:01,228 --> 00:13:02,495
Is this a bit?
358
00:13:02,529 --> 00:13:05,948
♪ Teach me how
to understand Christmas ♪
359
00:13:05,999 --> 00:13:09,085
♪ do I trim the tree ♪
360
00:13:09,119 --> 00:13:11,270
♪ or the deer? ♪
361
00:13:11,305 --> 00:13:13,172
♪ I can't keep it straight ♪
362
00:13:13,207 --> 00:13:14,607
♪ and now it's getting late ♪
363
00:13:14,641 --> 00:13:16,592
♪ where does
the stocking go? ♪
364
00:13:16,627 --> 00:13:18,444
♪ here? ♪
365
00:13:18,479 --> 00:13:19,712
I can't see!
366
00:13:19,746 --> 00:13:21,347
♪ What's a Christmas Eve? ♪
367
00:13:21,381 --> 00:13:23,933
♪ is that Santa's lady? ♪
368
00:13:23,967 --> 00:13:27,920
♪ are snowmen cold or hot? ♪
369
00:13:27,955 --> 00:13:30,106
♪ won't you be
my daddy? ♪
370
00:13:30,140 --> 00:13:32,775
♪ I'm a silly Christmas baby ♪
371
00:13:32,810 --> 00:13:34,193
♪ tell me what to deck ♪
372
00:13:34,228 --> 00:13:36,662
[Giggles] ♪ 'cause I forgot ♪
373
00:13:36,697 --> 00:13:38,981
- Annie.
- Ooh!
374
00:13:39,032 --> 00:13:42,985
♪ "Bwain" hurt-y,
understand-y "cwistmas" ♪
375
00:13:43,036 --> 00:13:47,306
♪ mistletoe for eat-y,
taste good?"
376
00:13:47,341 --> 00:13:49,342
♪ You smarty, me dumb ♪
377
00:13:49,376 --> 00:13:51,627
♪ help "pwetty" have fun ♪
378
00:13:51,662 --> 00:13:53,779
♪ boopy doopy doop boop ♪
379
00:13:53,797 --> 00:13:55,581
♪ sex ♪
380
00:13:55,616 --> 00:13:57,917
Look, eventually, you hit
a point of diminishing returns
381
00:13:57,951 --> 00:13:59,185
on the sexiness.
382
00:13:59,219 --> 00:14:02,655
What's a dimin--
[Speaks gibberish]?
383
00:14:02,689 --> 00:14:05,791
- Stay back, old man.
- Don't even hum.
384
00:14:05,809 --> 00:14:09,011
Shirley, Britta,
I have no intention of singing.
385
00:14:09,062 --> 00:14:10,229
Good.
386
00:14:10,264 --> 00:14:14,484
I can't speak
for these little angels though.
387
00:14:14,518 --> 00:14:15,801
Oh!
388
00:14:15,836 --> 00:14:18,471
Choir: ♪ there's a magic
in the air ♪
389
00:14:18,505 --> 00:14:21,507
♪ around us ♪
390
00:14:21,542 --> 00:14:27,180
♪ we all have the sudden urge
to bake ♪
391
00:14:27,214 --> 00:14:31,701
♪ it feels like
a very special birthday ♪
392
00:14:31,752 --> 00:14:36,622
♪ but whose name
should be written on the cake?
393
00:14:36,657 --> 00:14:37,707
Mm!
394
00:14:37,758 --> 00:14:39,992
Shirley,
you need to get out of here!
395
00:14:40,027 --> 00:14:44,864
Choir: ♪ we asked our public
school to give the answer ♪
396
00:14:44,898 --> 00:14:46,299
They're not gonna tell you.
397
00:14:46,333 --> 00:14:50,203
Choir: ♪ but they could only
teach us not to pray ♪
398
00:14:50,237 --> 00:14:51,771
That's what they do.
That's what they do.
399
00:14:51,805 --> 00:14:57,109
Choir: ♪ the constitution says
the state can't tell us ♪
400
00:14:57,144 --> 00:15:00,346
♪ was anyone important
born today? ♪
401
00:15:00,380 --> 00:15:02,565
Oh, gotta tell the babies!
402
00:15:02,616 --> 00:15:05,318
♪ Jesus Christ! ♪
403
00:15:05,352 --> 00:15:10,122
♪ Jesus Christ is the lord ♪
404
00:15:10,157 --> 00:15:12,325
♪ Happy Birthday, Jesus ♪
405
00:15:12,359 --> 00:15:13,492
Choir:
♪ Happy Birthday ♪
406
00:15:13,526 --> 00:15:15,578
♪ cut the cake,
cut the cake now ♪
407
00:15:15,629 --> 00:15:17,263
♪ cut the cake, my lord ♪
408
00:15:17,297 --> 00:15:19,332
Oh, Jeff, thank God!
409
00:15:19,366 --> 00:15:21,968
They got Shirley!
It's just you and me now.
410
00:15:22,002 --> 00:15:25,805
Jeff?
411
00:15:25,839 --> 00:15:27,373
[Singing one long note]
412
00:15:27,391 --> 00:15:30,393
[Screaming]
413
00:15:42,180 --> 00:15:45,284
Guys, I am swelling with pride!
414
00:15:45,404 --> 00:15:48,041
You stepped up, and you saved
the Christmas pageant!
415
00:15:48,173 --> 00:15:49,239
Whoo!
416
00:15:49,273 --> 00:15:50,507
And it's all thanks to you,
Mr. Rad.
417
00:15:50,542 --> 00:15:53,221
I just hope we can repay you
by making regionals.
418
00:15:53,502 --> 00:15:55,482
Uh, I thought
this was regionals.
419
00:15:56,092 --> 00:15:58,715
Don't let my confusion
undercut their importance.
420
00:15:58,750 --> 00:15:59,833
Places, everyone!
421
00:15:59,884 --> 00:16:02,302
[Squealing]
422
00:16:02,337 --> 00:16:04,588
Scooch, scooch, scooch,
scooch, scooch.
423
00:16:04,622 --> 00:16:05,806
I could not have done this
424
00:16:05,840 --> 00:16:07,123
without your
recruiting skills, Abed.
425
00:16:07,141 --> 00:16:08,792
I was happy to do it.
For a while there, I thought
426
00:16:08,810 --> 00:16:11,294
we were gonna end the semester
on a really dark note.
427
00:16:11,312 --> 00:16:12,729
I'm glad we're singing
and dancing together instead.
428
00:16:12,764 --> 00:16:14,064
This has been a good time.
429
00:16:14,098 --> 00:16:16,066
And it's going to continue
to be a good time.
430
00:16:16,100 --> 00:16:18,735
If we win regionals, then it's
straight on to sectionals.
431
00:16:18,770 --> 00:16:21,238
And then a week later is semis.
Then semiregionals.
432
00:16:21,272 --> 00:16:23,073
Then regional-semis.
433
00:16:23,107 --> 00:16:25,542
Then national
lower-zone semis!
434
00:16:25,577 --> 00:16:27,277
Oh.
435
00:16:27,311 --> 00:16:28,912
But I kinda thought this was...
436
00:16:28,947 --> 00:16:30,831
You know, just for Christmas.
437
00:16:30,865 --> 00:16:32,716
No, no, no.
438
00:16:32,750 --> 00:16:34,918
This is forever.
439
00:16:34,953 --> 00:16:37,337
This is what we do now.
440
00:16:37,372 --> 00:16:40,390
This is who we are.
441
00:16:41,926 --> 00:16:44,962
[Overlapping chatter]
442
00:16:44,996 --> 00:16:46,663
- ♪ Fa la la la la ♪
- ♪ Fa la la la la ♪
443
00:16:46,698 --> 00:16:47,965
- ♪ fa la ♪
- ♪ Fa la la la la ♪
444
00:16:47,999 --> 00:16:50,551
- ♪ fa la la la la ♪
- Holla!
445
00:16:50,602 --> 00:16:53,503
All: ♪ we are planet Christmas
when we sing ♪
446
00:16:53,521 --> 00:16:58,559
♪ we will sing together
throughout everything ♪
447
00:16:58,610 --> 00:16:59,893
- ♪ we are planet Christmas ♪
- Britta.
448
00:16:59,944 --> 00:17:01,945
[Gasps]
Is this about regionals?
449
00:17:01,980 --> 00:17:03,196
I just talked to Cory,
and he needs you to be
450
00:17:03,231 --> 00:17:04,398
the mouse king instead of me.
451
00:17:04,449 --> 00:17:07,017
Me? But I'm supposed
to be a mute tree.
452
00:17:07,051 --> 00:17:09,052
- It's an emergency.
- Hmm?
453
00:17:09,087 --> 00:17:10,354
This will help us
get to regionals!
454
00:17:10,388 --> 00:17:13,724
I knew it!
Wait, what are the lyrics?
455
00:17:13,758 --> 00:17:16,426
- They're in your heart, Britta.
- Right. Duh doy!
456
00:17:16,461 --> 00:17:20,881
Glee club: ♪ we are everyone,
and we are everything ♪
457
00:17:20,915 --> 00:17:24,885
[Wailing]
♪ Christmas time! ♪
458
00:17:24,919 --> 00:17:26,603
What the--?
459
00:17:26,638 --> 00:17:27,804
Oh, Britta's in this?
460
00:17:27,839 --> 00:17:31,541
♪ I got a Christmas time
for me ♪
461
00:17:31,559 --> 00:17:35,646
♪ I got a Christmas time
for a tree ♪
462
00:17:35,680 --> 00:17:38,382
- No! She's ruining it!
- ♪ Christmas ♪
463
00:17:38,416 --> 00:17:41,885
♪ Christmas time ♪
464
00:17:41,919 --> 00:17:42,886
♪ me so Christmas,
me so merry ♪
465
00:17:42,904 --> 00:17:45,355
No, stop, stop, stop, stop!
466
00:17:45,389 --> 00:17:47,057
What are you doing?
Get off the stage!
467
00:17:47,075 --> 00:17:48,492
I'm singing my heart's song.
468
00:17:48,526 --> 00:17:50,861
Get off the stage,
and never sing again!
469
00:17:50,895 --> 00:17:51,995
You are the worst!
470
00:17:52,030 --> 00:17:53,113
Hey!
471
00:17:53,164 --> 00:17:55,232
You do not get to call Britta
"the worst."
472
00:17:55,266 --> 00:17:58,234
- Yeah!
- Let her finish!
473
00:17:58,252 --> 00:17:59,836
Mr. Radison,
I think it's fine.
474
00:17:59,871 --> 00:18:02,289
I know Greendale
is an all-inclusive school.
475
00:18:02,340 --> 00:18:05,459
Why don't we let Britta
sing her awkward song?
476
00:18:05,510 --> 00:18:07,744
Yeah!
[Cheering]
477
00:18:07,762 --> 00:18:10,080
No, no, no, no, no, no!
478
00:18:10,098 --> 00:18:13,884
This show is supposed to be
gleeful and bright and fun,
479
00:18:13,918 --> 00:18:15,352
and you can let me do that,
480
00:18:15,386 --> 00:18:17,437
or there can be
another bus crash!
481
00:18:17,472 --> 00:18:18,855
[Gasping]
482
00:18:18,890 --> 00:18:22,309
Well, figuratively.
483
00:18:22,360 --> 00:18:24,861
[Chuckling] I'm not saying,
484
00:18:24,896 --> 00:18:28,098
"I killed
the last glee club."
485
00:18:28,116 --> 00:18:31,101
[Laughing] I'm saying
you not listening to me
486
00:18:31,119 --> 00:18:35,572
is like metaphorically cutting
the brake lines on your own--
487
00:18:35,606 --> 00:18:38,542
look, kings of Leon!
[Gasping]
488
00:18:38,576 --> 00:18:40,977
What did he say?
489
00:18:41,012 --> 00:18:43,313
Did Mr. Rad
kill the last glee club?
490
00:18:43,348 --> 00:18:45,182
And to think
I trusted him enough
491
00:18:45,216 --> 00:18:48,318
to captain a magic carpet
in that dream I had last night.
492
00:18:48,353 --> 00:18:50,554
Maybe Jeff's right.
493
00:18:50,588 --> 00:18:51,922
Maybe forcing things
to be bright just makes
494
00:18:51,956 --> 00:18:53,323
the darkness underneath
even darker.
495
00:18:53,358 --> 00:18:56,193
This was all my fault,
insisting we do the pageant.
496
00:18:56,227 --> 00:18:58,195
Sorry.
497
00:18:58,229 --> 00:19:00,530
Merry Christmas.
498
00:19:00,565 --> 00:19:04,701
I guess I'll just see you guys
after the holidays.
499
00:19:04,736 --> 00:19:07,738
[Beeps]
500
00:19:10,808 --> 00:19:12,642
Happy time day, Reggie.
501
00:19:12,660 --> 00:19:15,078
It is tradition to give
one's constable a gift
502
00:19:15,113 --> 00:19:16,363
at the end
of each orbital cycle.
503
00:19:16,414 --> 00:19:18,048
Oh, thank you, inspector!
504
00:19:18,082 --> 00:19:20,050
[Chuckles]
505
00:19:20,084 --> 00:19:22,319
- Blimey! A hologram?
- Mm-hmm.
506
00:19:22,353 --> 00:19:23,987
Let's activate it
and view the performance.
507
00:19:24,021 --> 00:19:25,222
[Beeps]
508
00:19:25,256 --> 00:19:27,324
♪ I tried to find
a way around ♪
509
00:19:27,358 --> 00:19:31,128
♪ then get behind your wall ♪
510
00:19:31,162 --> 00:19:32,929
♪ I tried to reach the top ♪
511
00:19:32,964 --> 00:19:34,064
This is terrible.
512
00:19:34,098 --> 00:19:38,335
Study group:
♪ the angels did say ♪
513
00:19:38,369 --> 00:19:41,555
♪ was to certain
poor Shepherds ♪
514
00:19:41,606 --> 00:19:45,275
♪ in fields where they lay ♪
515
00:19:45,309 --> 00:19:49,029
♪ in fields where they ♪
516
00:19:49,063 --> 00:19:52,682
♪ lay keeping their sheep ♪
517
00:19:52,700 --> 00:19:56,520
♪ on a cold winter's night ♪
518
00:19:56,554 --> 00:20:00,223
♪ that was so deep ♪
519
00:20:00,258 --> 00:20:02,526
We decided we wanted to spend
the holiday together.
520
00:20:02,560 --> 00:20:05,228
It's been a dark semester.
521
00:20:05,263 --> 00:20:06,730
I basically killed a guy.
522
00:20:06,764 --> 00:20:09,532
And I kind of attacked you guys
with a fire axe.
523
00:20:09,550 --> 00:20:10,767
Yeah.
524
00:20:10,802 --> 00:20:12,002
I'm thinking about seeing
a new shrink.
525
00:20:12,036 --> 00:20:13,003
- What?
- Don't.
526
00:20:13,037 --> 00:20:14,204
Holy crap.
527
00:20:14,238 --> 00:20:16,539
Look how terrible
this Christmas special is.
528
00:20:16,557 --> 00:20:20,427
Children's choir:
♪ Noel, Noel ♪
529
00:20:20,478 --> 00:20:25,565
♪ Noel, Noel ♪
530
00:20:25,600 --> 00:20:28,418
♪ we will see you ♪
531
00:20:28,453 --> 00:20:33,590
♪ after regionals ♪
532
00:20:34,958 --> 00:20:39,158
Merry Christmas!
Sync by honeybunny, corrected by susanaLC
www.addic7ed.com
533
00:20:42,573 --> 00:20:43,873
[To Carol of the bells tune]
♪ Dean, Dean, Dean, Dean ♪
534
00:20:43,908 --> 00:20:45,375
♪ Dean, Dean, Dean, Dean,
Dean, Dean, Dean, Dean ♪
535
00:20:45,409 --> 00:20:49,846
[Continues singing "Dean"]
♪ Chang, Chang, Chang, Chang ♪
536
00:20:49,880 --> 00:20:54,417
[Continues singing "Chang"]
♪ Pop, pop, pop, pop ♪
537
00:20:54,451 --> 00:20:55,585
[Continues singing "pop"]
♪ My name is Alex,
538
00:20:55,619 --> 00:20:57,754
♪ my name is Alex,
my name is Alex ♪
539
00:20:57,788 --> 00:20:58,855
♪ my name is Alex ♪
[Continues singing]
540
00:20:58,889 --> 00:21:03,359
[Raspberries to rhythm]
541
00:21:03,394 --> 00:21:05,595
♪ Merry, merry, merry,
merry "Chang-mas" ♪
542
00:21:05,629 --> 00:21:08,264
♪ Merry, merry, merry,
merry "Dean-mas" ♪
543
00:21:08,299 --> 00:21:09,899
- ♪ Dean, Dean, Dean, Dean ♪
- No, no, no, no, no, no!
544
00:21:09,917 --> 00:21:11,334
- No!
- ♪ Dean, Dean, Dean, Dean ♪
545
00:21:11,368 --> 00:21:13,803
♪ Dean dong ♪
[Screaming]
546
00:21:13,838 --> 00:21:16,438
- No!
- ♪ Dean dong ♪