1
00:00:18,450 --> 00:00:19,984
HEY!
2
00:00:23,423 --> 00:00:25,006
BABY, THAT FACE IS REALLY
3
00:00:25,074 --> 00:00:28,209
GOING TO SET US BACK
IN THE BEDROOM.
4
00:00:29,845 --> 00:00:31,046
SORRY, I'M JUST,
5
00:00:31,113 --> 00:00:33,414
YOU KNOW, MY HIGH SCHOOL
REUNION, I'M PUMPED.
6
00:00:33,482 --> 00:00:34,282
YEAH, I NOTICED THAT
7
00:00:34,350 --> 00:00:37,269
WHEN YOU KARATE-KICKED
MY MAKEUP MIRROR.
8
00:00:37,336 --> 00:00:38,369
YOU KNOW WHAT?
THAT'S THE WAY I WAS
9
00:00:38,437 --> 00:00:39,370
BACK IN HIGH SCHOOL,
TOO, MAN.
10
00:00:39,438 --> 00:00:41,139
I HUNG WITH
A PRETTY ROUGH CROWD.
11
00:00:41,207 --> 00:00:43,975
DON'T BE SURPRISED IF TONIGHT
YOU GET A CALL FROM THE COPS.
12
00:00:44,043 --> 00:00:46,561
OH, WHY? IS IT ILLEGAL
TO WEAR STONEWASHED?
13
00:00:47,997 --> 00:00:49,363
ALL RIGHT, SOUNDS LIKE
SOMEONE'S LASHING OUT
14
00:00:49,431 --> 00:00:52,834
'CAUSE THEY'RE A LITTLE
INSECURE ABOUT ME GOING STAG.
15
00:00:52,902 --> 00:00:54,753
NO, HONEY, I WANT YOU TO
HAVE A GOOD TIME, ALL RIGHT.
16
00:00:54,820 --> 00:00:58,156
I JUST WANT TO RENT A
MOVIE TONIGHT AND RELAX.
17
00:00:58,224 --> 00:01:02,627
ALL RIGHT, BUT YOU'RE
PLAYING WITH FIRE,
18
00:01:02,694 --> 00:01:03,862
'CAUSE A LOT OF THESE LADIES
19
00:01:03,929 --> 00:01:07,966
HAVEN'T SEEN THE MACHINERY
IN A WHILE.
20
00:01:08,033 --> 00:01:08,783
MM-HMM.
21
00:01:08,935 --> 00:01:11,119
DID YOU TAKE
YOUR LACTOSE PILL?
22
00:01:11,187 --> 00:01:12,687
NO, NOT YET.
23
00:01:12,754 --> 00:01:14,355
OK.
I DIDN'T TAKE IT.
24
00:01:52,478 --> 00:01:53,811
WHAT?
25
00:01:53,879 --> 00:01:55,846
TALK TO ME ABOUT
THE HAIR, WOODRUFF.
26
00:01:55,914 --> 00:01:56,648
AW, COME-
27
00:01:56,799 --> 00:01:57,999
ACCORDING TO COSMO MEN,
28
00:01:58,067 --> 00:02:00,835
THIS LOOK IS ALL OVER
EUROPE RIGHT NOW.
29
00:02:00,903 --> 00:02:02,303
YEAH.
30
00:02:02,371 --> 00:02:04,973
ONE MORE REASON
NOT TO GO TO EUROPE.
31
00:02:05,040 --> 00:02:06,007
OH, BY THE WAY,
SPENCE,
32
00:02:06,075 --> 00:02:07,108
IF I HOOK UP
WITH SOMEONE TONIGHT,
33
00:02:07,175 --> 00:02:08,276
YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE
TO SLEEP SOMEPLACE ELSE,
34
00:02:08,344 --> 00:02:09,477
ALL RIGHT,
PER OUR AGREEMENT.
35
00:02:09,545 --> 00:02:10,478
W- WAIT.
36
00:02:10,546 --> 00:02:11,779
WHAT IF I HOOK UP
WITH SOMEONE
37
00:02:11,847 --> 00:02:13,514
AND YOU HAVE TO SLEEP
SOMEWHERE ELSE
38
00:02:13,582 --> 00:02:15,116
PER OUR AGREEMENT?
39
00:02:15,184 --> 00:02:16,384
'CAUSE I SAID IT FIRST,
I GOT DIBS.
40
00:02:16,452 --> 00:02:17,335
NO, YOU CAN'T CALL DIBS.
41
00:02:17,453 --> 00:02:18,619
I PAY HALF THE RENT.
44
00:02:21,407 --> 00:02:24,575
HAS THIS WHOLE
"BRING A WOMAN HOME" THING
45
00:02:24,643 --> 00:02:26,411
EVER ACTUALLY COME UP?
46
00:02:26,462 --> 00:02:28,146
WELL, YEAH.
47
00:02:30,599 --> 00:02:31,666
EXCUSE ME,
48
00:02:31,733 --> 00:02:33,401
WHERE IS YOUR
V.H.S. SECTION?
49
00:02:33,469 --> 00:02:35,136
UH, RIGHT OVER THERE.
50
00:02:35,203 --> 00:02:37,622
THAT'S IT?
51
00:02:37,690 --> 00:02:39,924
THAT'S THE ONLY TAPES
YOU HAVE?
52
00:02:39,991 --> 00:02:43,945
ONE FOR EVERY PERSON
WHO STILL HAS A V.C.R.
53
00:02:44,012 --> 00:02:46,648
WAIT, I KNOW YOU.
54
00:02:46,715 --> 00:02:49,050
AREN'T YOU THE OLD MAN
THAT GOT ME FIRED
55
00:02:49,117 --> 00:02:50,752
FROM THE JAVA HUT?
56
00:02:50,820 --> 00:02:53,304
DOESN'T RING A BELL,
BUT YOU DO LOOK LIKE
57
00:02:53,372 --> 00:02:55,607
A PERSON
WHO MIGHT ANNOY ME.
58
00:02:55,674 --> 00:02:58,710
YOU KNOW, IT TOOK ME
3 MONTHS TO FIND A NEW JOB.
59
00:02:58,777 --> 00:03:00,044
I HAD TO GO ON WELFARE.
60
00:03:00,112 --> 00:03:02,797
WELL, YOU'VE MADE QUITE
THE COMEBACK, EXCUSE ME.
61
00:03:09,404 --> 00:03:10,571
DAD?
62
00:03:10,639 --> 00:03:11,923
OH, HELLO, DARLING.
63
00:03:11,991 --> 00:03:14,725
HEY, IT'S FUNNY
RUNNING INTO YOU HERE.
64
00:03:14,793 --> 00:03:16,727
JUST RENTING A MOVIE
TO WATCH TONIGHT.
65
00:03:16,795 --> 00:03:17,795
OH, YEAH, ME TOO.
66
00:03:17,863 --> 00:03:19,914
SINCE I DON'T HAVE
67
00:03:19,981 --> 00:03:22,983
A DIGITAL VD PLAYER
IN MY ROOM,
68
00:03:23,051 --> 00:03:25,586
THE SELECTIONS
ARE PRETTY SPARSE.
69
00:03:25,654 --> 00:03:26,755
WELL, HEY, I ENVY YOU,
70
00:03:26,822 --> 00:03:28,355
I MEAN, I HAVE
WAY TOO MANY CHOICES.
71
00:03:28,423 --> 00:03:29,557
IT'S ALWAYS SOMETHING,
RIGHT?
72
00:03:29,624 --> 00:03:31,359
MM-HMM.
73
00:03:33,962 --> 00:03:35,363
ALL RIGHT, WELL,
I'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW.
74
00:03:35,431 --> 00:03:36,364
MM-HMM.
75
00:03:42,604 --> 00:03:45,373
HEY, UM, DAD,
I WAS THINKING, UM,
76
00:03:45,440 --> 00:03:46,608
DO YOU WANT TO RENT
A MOVIE
77
00:03:46,675 --> 00:03:48,743
AND WATCH IT TOGETHER
TONIGHT?
78
00:03:48,811 --> 00:03:50,011
I'D LOVE TO.
79
00:03:50,079 --> 00:03:53,347
WE HAVEN'T SEEN A MOVIE TOGETHER
SINCE YOU WERE 8, REMEMBER?
80
00:03:53,415 --> 00:03:56,601
DEATH WISH, YEAH.
81
00:03:56,669 --> 00:04:00,055
WELL, THIS TIME MY LITTLE
GIRL PICKS ANY MOVIE SHE WANTS.
82
00:04:00,122 --> 00:04:01,172
OK, GOOD!
83
00:04:01,240 --> 00:04:02,440
LET'S SEE, UM,
84
00:04:02,508 --> 00:04:03,508
WHAT DO WE GOT HERE?
85
00:04:03,575 --> 00:04:06,410
OH! HOW ABOUT, UH,
IN HER SHOES?
86
00:04:06,478 --> 00:04:07,879
THAT'S SUPPOSED
TO BE GOOD.
87
00:04:07,947 --> 00:04:09,129
VETO.
88
00:04:09,197 --> 00:04:10,431
WHY?
89
00:04:10,499 --> 00:04:12,851
BECAUSE IN 1987,
SHIRLEY MacLAINE
90
00:04:12,918 --> 00:04:15,219
CUT ME OFF IN LINE
AT THE RITE AID.
91
00:04:15,287 --> 00:04:17,121
I WILL NOT GIVE
THAT WOMAN A DIME,
92
00:04:17,189 --> 00:04:19,757
NOT IN ANY OF HER LIVES.
93
00:04:28,016 --> 00:04:28,766
HAVE FUN.
94
00:04:28,834 --> 00:04:31,018
WE GOT PLENTY
OF DRINKS.
95
00:04:31,087 --> 00:04:33,154
AND FOOD.
96
00:04:33,222 --> 00:04:35,123
AND FOOD? OH, YEAH,
I GET IT, I'M STILL BIG.
97
00:04:35,191 --> 00:04:37,008
YEAH, OK.
98
00:04:37,075 --> 00:04:40,812
MATTHEW KLEIN,
YOU SICK, SICK MAN!
99
00:04:40,880 --> 00:04:43,131
DOUG, GREAT TO SEE YOU!
100
00:04:43,198 --> 00:04:44,799
GOD, I FIGURED YOU'D
BE IN JAIL BY NOW.
101
00:04:44,866 --> 00:04:46,150
WELL, MIGHT AS WELL BE.
102
00:04:46,218 --> 00:04:48,502
MARRIAGE, AM I RIGHT?
103
00:04:48,570 --> 00:04:52,339
SO, HEY, DID YOU EVER END
UP DOING THAT STUNTMAN THING?
104
00:04:52,407 --> 00:04:53,257
OH, NO, NO, NO.
105
00:04:53,325 --> 00:04:54,909
I'M A STAY-AT-HOME DAD.
106
00:04:54,977 --> 00:04:56,911
BUT, YOU KNOW, WITH 3 LITTLE
MONSTERS RUNNING AROUND,
107
00:04:56,979 --> 00:04:59,213
THAT'S PRETTY DANGEROUS,
TOO.
108
00:05:00,132 --> 00:05:01,015
OK, MAN, LATER!
109
00:05:06,221 --> 00:05:07,621
SO, UH,
110
00:05:07,689 --> 00:05:09,824
WHAT DO YOU SAY WE DUCK
OUT OF HERE A LITTLE EARLY
111
00:05:09,891 --> 00:05:14,762
AND GO BACK TO CASA DE DANNY
FOR A LITTLE POST-REUNION UNION?
112
00:05:14,830 --> 00:05:17,048
NO, THANKS.
113
00:05:17,115 --> 00:05:17,865
OH, COME ON.
114
00:05:17,933 --> 00:05:18,883
I REMEMBER HOW YOU USED
TO STARE AT ME
115
00:05:18,951 --> 00:05:20,718
ALL THROUGH
BIOLOGY CLASS.
116
00:05:20,786 --> 00:05:24,438
ACTUALLY I WAS STARING
AT YOUR LAB PARTNER JAKE.
117
00:05:24,506 --> 00:05:26,874
HE'S MY HUSBAND NOW.
118
00:05:26,942 --> 00:05:28,192
HA HA HA!
YEAH.
119
00:05:28,260 --> 00:05:31,596
BOY, TALK ABOUT GOING A
LONG WAY TO MAKE ME JEALOUS.
120
00:05:31,664 --> 00:05:33,681
SO, ARE WE GOING
TO DO THIS OR WHAT?
121
00:05:36,285 --> 00:05:39,387
OH, AND I'M TOTALLY
ALLERGIC TO ANY KIND OF NUT.
122
00:05:39,454 --> 00:05:41,522
OH, ME-ME TOO.
123
00:05:41,590 --> 00:05:44,058
I HAVE A PICTURE OF MR.
PEANUT ON MY DARTBOARD.
124
00:05:44,126 --> 00:05:45,493
BUT I CAN'T DO ANYTHING
WITH IT
125
00:05:45,560 --> 00:05:47,862
BECAUSE I'M ALSO
ALLERGIC TO DART FEATHERS.
126
00:05:47,929 --> 00:05:50,180
OH, I CAN TOP THAT.
127
00:05:50,248 --> 00:05:53,133
IF I EVEN SEE A BANANA,
I RUN SCREAMING.
128
00:05:53,201 --> 00:05:54,936
MAN, THAT'S SWELL.
129
00:05:55,004 --> 00:05:56,220
YOU KNOW,
I- I CAN'T BELIEVE
130
00:05:56,288 --> 00:05:58,656
WE WENT TO THE SAME HIGH
SCHOOL TOGETHER AND NEVER MET.
131
00:05:58,723 --> 00:06:01,476
YEAH, NOT EVEN IN
THE SPECIAL CAFETERIA.
132
00:06:02,845 --> 00:06:04,378
WELL, I'M, UM...
133
00:06:04,446 --> 00:06:07,815
I'M VERY GLAD
WE FINALLY MET TONIGHT.
134
00:06:07,883 --> 00:06:09,383
YOU KNOW WHAT?
135
00:06:09,451 --> 00:06:11,652
I'M GOING TO GO TALK TO MY
FRIEND FOR JUST A SECOND,
136
00:06:11,720 --> 00:06:12,987
BUT I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
137
00:06:13,055 --> 00:06:14,855
MMM, YOU BETTER BE.
138
00:06:19,478 --> 00:06:21,613
ALL RIGHT, THIS IS LAME.
READY TO GO TO IHOP?
139
00:06:21,680 --> 00:06:23,881
UH...
140
00:06:23,949 --> 00:06:27,334
ACTUALLY, I THINK I'M GOING
TO BE NEEDING THE APARTMENT.
141
00:06:27,402 --> 00:06:28,269
WHAT?
142
00:06:28,421 --> 00:06:31,088
YEAH. SEE THAT CUTIE
OVER THERE BY THE BAR?
143
00:06:31,156 --> 00:06:32,439
UH, IF THINGS GO
AS PLANNED,
144
00:06:32,508 --> 00:06:33,875
SHE'S LEAVING WITH ME.
145
00:06:33,942 --> 00:06:35,476
MELINDA RAYBURN?
146
00:06:35,544 --> 00:06:36,744
MM-HMM.
147
00:06:36,812 --> 00:06:40,247
I REMEMBER HER. SHE-SHE
CAME OUT SENIOR YEAR.
148
00:06:40,315 --> 00:06:43,935
SHE CAME OUT?
OF WHAT?
149
00:06:44,003 --> 00:06:45,619
SHE'S GAY, SPENCE.
150
00:06:45,687 --> 00:06:47,338
ARE YOU CRAZY?
151
00:06:47,405 --> 00:06:50,408
SHE WORE A TUXEDO
TO THE PROM.
152
00:06:50,476 --> 00:06:51,909
AND SHE WENT
WITH A GIRL...
153
00:06:51,977 --> 00:06:55,647
WHO WORE A TUXEDO
TO THE PROM.
154
00:06:55,714 --> 00:06:56,630
WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT?
155
00:06:56,782 --> 00:06:58,683
UM, LOOKS LIKE OLD SPENCE
156
00:06:58,751 --> 00:07:01,118
IS BRINGING HER BACK
TO THE MEN'S DEPARTMENT.
157
00:07:01,186 --> 00:07:04,122
OR MAYBE
SHE DOESN'T REALIZE
158
00:07:04,189 --> 00:07:06,824
SHE'S IN
THE MEN'S DEPARTMENT.
159
00:07:06,892 --> 00:07:08,159
WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?
160
00:07:08,226 --> 00:07:09,494
WELL, THINK ABOUT IT,
MAN.
161
00:07:09,561 --> 00:07:11,128
IT'S DARK IN HERE, SHE'S
HAD A COUPLE OF DRINKS.
162
00:07:11,196 --> 00:07:13,014
YOU WALK IN WITH
YOUR LEATHER
163
00:07:13,082 --> 00:07:16,283
AND YOUR LITTLE
FAUX-HAWK.
164
00:07:16,351 --> 00:07:18,152
MAYBE SHE GOT
THE WRONG IDEA, BRO.
165
00:07:18,220 --> 00:07:20,855
WAIT, ARE YOU
- ARE YOU SAYING SHE THINKS I'M A...
166
00:07:20,923 --> 00:07:23,023
LESBIAN?
167
00:07:23,091 --> 00:07:27,428
WELL, I'M GETTING A K.D.
LANG KINDA THING GOING ON.
168
00:07:27,496 --> 00:07:29,196
YOU KNOW WHAT? THIS IS-
THIS IS RIDICULOUS!
169
00:07:29,264 --> 00:07:30,330
I MEAN,
I'M CLEARLY A MAN.
170
00:07:30,398 --> 00:07:31,799
THIS HAS NEVER BEEN
AN ISSUE.
171
00:07:31,867 --> 00:07:34,685
ALL RIGHT, WELL, WHATEVER
YOU SAY THERE, SPIKE. AHEM.
172
00:07:37,055 --> 00:07:41,142
IF I EVEN SEE
A BANANA, I RUN SCREAMING.
173
00:07:42,661 --> 00:07:44,295
THAT IS A BEAUT.
174
00:07:44,362 --> 00:07:45,512
OH, YEAH.
175
00:07:45,580 --> 00:07:47,448
I'M ALREADY LOOKING
FOR MY NEXT ONE.
176
00:07:47,515 --> 00:07:49,183
YEAH, LIKE
MY WIFE SAYS,
177
00:07:49,251 --> 00:07:50,034
IF YOU CAN'T
FIND ME AT HOME,
178
00:07:50,102 --> 00:07:52,019
YOU CAN FIND ME
AT THE CAMERA STORE.
179
00:07:52,087 --> 00:07:54,171
HOME DEPOT.
180
00:07:54,239 --> 00:07:56,724
OH, YEAH!
181
00:07:56,791 --> 00:07:59,427
YEAH, COME ON, GUYS.
182
00:07:59,495 --> 00:08:01,596
WHAT DO YOU SAY WE DO
SOMETHING CRAZY TONIGHT,
183
00:08:01,663 --> 00:08:02,597
LIKE OLD TIMES.
184
00:08:02,664 --> 00:08:03,964
LET'S GET NUTTY!
185
00:08:04,032 --> 00:08:05,182
YEAH, LIKE WHAT?
186
00:08:05,250 --> 00:08:05,950
I DON'T KNOW.
187
00:08:06,018 --> 00:08:07,735
LET'S GO PICK ON
SOME NERDS.
188
00:08:07,802 --> 00:08:10,804
HEY, THAT SPENCE GUY
IS HERE.
189
00:08:13,458 --> 00:08:14,725
ALL RIGHT!
190
00:08:16,111 --> 00:08:18,195
JEFF "THE BEAST" SUSSMAN!
191
00:08:18,263 --> 00:08:19,880
CALL SECURITY,
LOOK WHO'S HERE!
192
00:08:19,948 --> 00:08:20,914
HEY, BUDDY!
193
00:08:20,982 --> 00:08:22,350
GREAT TO SEE YOU.
WHAT'S GOING ON, MAN?
194
00:08:22,417 --> 00:08:23,617
OH, THANK GOD YOU'RE HERE,
BY THE WAY.
195
00:08:23,685 --> 00:08:25,252
IT IS BRUTAL OVER THERE.
196
00:08:25,321 --> 00:08:28,690
SQUIRES, HE JUST TRIED
TO GET ME IN A BRIDGE GAME.
197
00:08:28,757 --> 00:08:30,091
OH, YOU'RE REALLY GOING
TO LIKE THIS ONE.
198
00:08:30,159 --> 00:08:32,343
GUESS WHO THE
VICE PRINCIPAL IS NOW.
199
00:08:32,411 --> 00:08:33,561
WHO?
200
00:08:33,596 --> 00:08:34,712
ME.
201
00:08:34,780 --> 00:08:37,198
YEAH, THE VICE PRINCIPAL
IS YOU.
202
00:08:39,468 --> 00:08:40,401
WHAT?
203
00:08:40,469 --> 00:08:42,069
YEAH.
204
00:08:42,137 --> 00:08:43,237
BUT YOU WERE THE GUY
205
00:08:43,305 --> 00:08:45,005
WHO SET OUR VICE PRINCIPAL ON FIRE.
206
00:08:45,073 --> 00:08:46,907
I DIDN'T SET HIM
ON FIRE.
207
00:08:46,975 --> 00:08:48,442
I SET A GARBAGE CAN
ON FIRE.
208
00:08:48,510 --> 00:08:51,512
HE CAUGHT FIRE TRYING
TO PUT OUT THAT FIRE.
209
00:08:51,579 --> 00:08:54,966
BUT YOU WERE THE CRAZIEST
KID IN SCHOOL, MAN.
210
00:08:55,033 --> 00:08:57,902
I DON'T KNOW,
I GUESS I GOT SOME HELP.
211
00:08:57,970 --> 00:08:59,770
I GREW UP.
212
00:08:59,838 --> 00:09:01,488
EXCUSE ME, MR. SUSSMAN.
213
00:09:01,556 --> 00:09:03,024
YEAH, PRINCIPAL NAGEL,
HOW ARE YOU?
214
00:09:03,091 --> 00:09:05,009
UH, WE SEEM TO BE
RUNNING OUT OF SODA.
215
00:09:05,077 --> 00:09:06,777
I WANT YOU TO RUN DOWN
TO THE STORE.
216
00:09:06,845 --> 00:09:08,979
YOU THINK MAYBE WE COULD GET ONE
OF THE CATERING GUYS TO DO IT?
217
00:09:09,047 --> 00:09:11,399
I, UH, WAS JUST CATCHING UP
WITH DOUG HERE.
218
00:09:11,466 --> 00:09:13,667
HEY, SIR.
HOW YA DOING?
219
00:09:13,735 --> 00:09:15,435
HEFFERNAN.
220
00:09:15,503 --> 00:09:18,873
LOOKS LIKE THE VERTICAL NEVER
CAUGHT UP WITH THE HORIZONTAL.
221
00:09:20,358 --> 00:09:24,628
OH, AND GET ME SOME OF THAT
GINGER ALE THAT I LIKE, PLEASE.
222
00:09:24,696 --> 00:09:26,513
ABSOLUTELY, SIR!
223
00:09:36,408 --> 00:09:37,708
DON'T WORRY, DARLING.
224
00:09:37,776 --> 00:09:39,643
THAT'S NOT A REAL GORILLA.
225
00:09:39,711 --> 00:09:42,780
IT'S ACTUALLY A MAN
IN A GORILLA SUIT.
226
00:09:42,848 --> 00:09:46,117
YEAH, THE ZIPPER IN THE
BACK KINDA GAVE IT AWAY.
227
00:09:46,185 --> 00:09:47,885
OH, HERE COMES
THE BEST PART.
228
00:09:47,953 --> 00:09:51,205
THE GORILLA'S GOING TO SCARE
HIM, AND HE'S GOING TO FAINT.
229
00:09:51,273 --> 00:09:52,573
THERE! HE JUST DID IT.
230
00:09:52,640 --> 00:09:54,409
DID YOU SEE?
231
00:09:54,476 --> 00:09:56,294
WHY DIDN'T YOU LAUGH?
232
00:09:56,362 --> 00:09:58,045
BECAUSE YOU'RE KINDA
TELLING ME
233
00:09:58,113 --> 00:10:00,281
WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN
BEFORE IT HAPPENS,
234
00:10:00,348 --> 00:10:01,982
AND THEN WHILE
IT HAPPENS,
235
00:10:02,050 --> 00:10:06,086
AND THEN AGAIN
AFTER IT HAPPENS.
236
00:10:06,154 --> 00:10:07,105
W- WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
237
00:10:07,255 --> 00:10:08,655
I'M GOING TO GO
BACK TO THAT VIDEO STORE
238
00:10:08,724 --> 00:10:10,424
AND GET SOMETHING
YOU DON'T HATE.
239
00:10:10,491 --> 00:10:11,142
NO, DAD, YOU DON'T HAVE
TO DO THAT.
240
00:10:11,210 --> 00:10:12,593
I'M ENJOYING IT,
I MEAN IT-
241
00:10:12,661 --> 00:10:13,294
NO, YOU JUST TELL ME
242
00:10:13,361 --> 00:10:15,646
WHAT MY LITTLE GIRL
WOULD LIKE TO SEE.
243
00:10:15,714 --> 00:10:17,431
IN HER SHOES?
244
00:10:17,499 --> 00:10:18,799
I'LL FIND SOMETHING.
245
00:10:21,169 --> 00:10:23,054
GINGER ALE, GINGER ALE,
GINGER ALE...
246
00:10:23,121 --> 00:10:24,655
WHERE'S THE GINGER ALE?
247
00:10:24,723 --> 00:10:27,158
OH, MAN, WE MIGHT HAVE
TO GO SOMEWHERE ELSE.
248
00:10:27,225 --> 00:10:28,159
OH, JUST STOP, ALL RIGHT.
249
00:10:28,226 --> 00:10:29,426
MAN, LOOK AT THIS, HERE.
250
00:10:29,494 --> 00:10:31,612
LEMON-LIME,
IT'S THE SAME THING.
251
00:10:31,680 --> 00:10:33,230
NO, I TRIED THAT
WITH HIM ONE TIME.
252
00:10:33,298 --> 00:10:36,166
IT WAS A BAD WEEK.
253
00:10:36,234 --> 00:10:39,853
UGH, FREAKING NAGEL,
JEEZ.
254
00:10:39,921 --> 00:10:40,988
HEY, REMEMBER
WHEN HE GOT
255
00:10:41,056 --> 00:10:42,590
THAT, UH, BRAND NEW
CHRYSLER CORDOBA,
256
00:10:42,658 --> 00:10:44,725
AND WE EGGED
THE CRAP OUT OF IT?
257
00:10:44,793 --> 00:10:48,128
YEAH, THAT WAS
A GOOD NIGHT.
258
00:10:48,196 --> 00:10:50,848
YEAH.
259
00:10:50,916 --> 00:10:52,199
FUNNY, HE ACTUALLY
JUST SOLD THAT THING.
260
00:10:52,267 --> 00:10:54,702
HE BOUGHT A PRIUS
WITH THE BONUS HE GOT
261
00:10:54,770 --> 00:10:57,037
FOR REPORTS I WROTE.
262
00:10:57,105 --> 00:10:59,123
PRIUS, HUH?
263
00:10:59,191 --> 00:11:01,225
WHAT DO YOU SAY,
ON THE WAY HOME,
264
00:11:01,293 --> 00:11:04,812
WE GO A LITTLE
YOLK-O ONO ON HIM?
265
00:11:04,879 --> 00:11:05,529
COME ON!
266
00:11:05,597 --> 00:11:06,647
NO, NO!
267
00:11:06,714 --> 00:11:07,531
DEFINITELY, YES!
NO, NO, NO.
268
00:11:07,599 --> 00:11:08,682
HEY, LISTEN TO ME.
269
00:11:08,750 --> 00:11:11,451
HE CALLED ME HORIZONTAL,
AND JEFF SUSSMAN?
270
00:11:11,519 --> 00:11:13,003
HE'S GOT YOU SWEATING
OVER GINGER ALE?
271
00:11:13,071 --> 00:11:15,038
LET'S TAKE HIM DOWN
A NOTCH!
272
00:11:15,106 --> 00:11:16,157
WE'RE NOT KIDS
ANYMORE, DOUG.
273
00:11:16,224 --> 00:11:17,825
I- I DON'T KNOW
ABOUT THIS.
274
00:11:17,892 --> 00:11:19,726
YEAH, YOU KNOW WHAT?
WE'RE NOT DEAD EITHER, OK?
275
00:11:19,794 --> 00:11:21,829
JUST ONE NIGHT,
AND THEN WE'LL GO BACK
276
00:11:21,896 --> 00:11:24,332
TO OUR BORING,
STUPID LIVES.
277
00:11:35,961 --> 00:11:39,063
THE EXPIRED ONES
ARE EXTRA SMELLY.
278
00:11:45,253 --> 00:11:46,420
I'LL TAKE CARE OF DANTE,
279
00:11:46,488 --> 00:11:48,855
YOU JUST TRY
TO GET SOME SLEEP.
280
00:11:48,923 --> 00:11:51,692
I
- I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE DOING ALL THIS FOR ME.
281
00:11:51,759 --> 00:11:54,411
YOU'RE A FEDERAL WITNESS.
IT'S MY JOB.
282
00:11:54,479 --> 00:11:56,129
IS IT JUST YOUR JOB?
283
00:11:56,197 --> 00:11:59,834
'CAUSE I KEEP THINKING
IT'S SOMETHING... MORE.
284
00:12:04,389 --> 00:12:08,025
I'LL BE BACK
IN 20 MINUTES.
285
00:12:15,784 --> 00:12:17,534
MMM.
MMM.
286
00:12:17,602 --> 00:12:19,920
MAYBE WE SHOULD CONTINUE
THIS OVER AT YOUR PLACE?
287
00:12:19,987 --> 00:12:22,623
WORKS FOR ME.
288
00:12:22,691 --> 00:12:26,811
B
- BEFORE WE GO, THOUGH, CAN I JUST CLEAR UP ONE LITTLE THING?
289
00:12:26,878 --> 00:12:28,212
WHAT IS IT?
290
00:12:28,279 --> 00:12:31,182
UH, YOU KNOW WHAT?
IT'S JUST SOMETHING
291
00:12:31,250 --> 00:12:32,650
MY IDIOT FRIEND SAID.
292
00:12:32,717 --> 00:12:34,318
JUST DON'T WORRY
ABOUT IT.
293
00:12:34,386 --> 00:12:35,252
OK, ONE SECOND.
294
00:12:35,404 --> 00:12:36,670
YEAH, YEAH, SURE, SURE.
295
00:12:38,840 --> 00:12:41,542
OH, YOU WANT
TO FRESHEN YOURS UP?
296
00:12:50,918 --> 00:12:53,104
HEY, HOW'S IT GOING?
297
00:12:53,172 --> 00:12:54,371
ALL RIGHT,
CATCH YOU LATER.
298
00:12:58,059 --> 00:12:59,209
HEY, YOU'RE
DANNY HEFFERNAN.
299
00:12:59,277 --> 00:13:00,377
YEAH.
300
00:13:00,445 --> 00:13:02,580
JUSTIN RAYVO.
GOOD TO SEE YOU, BUDDY.
301
00:13:02,647 --> 00:13:04,231
OH, YEAH, MAN.
I KNOW WHO YOU ARE.
302
00:13:04,299 --> 00:13:05,749
CAPTAIN
OF THE FOOTBALL TEAM,
303
00:13:05,817 --> 00:13:06,817
PROM KING,
304
00:13:06,885 --> 00:13:07,818
MATHLETE.
305
00:13:08,987 --> 00:13:11,121
I'M JUST SURPRISED
YOU REMEMBERED ME.
306
00:13:11,189 --> 00:13:11,989
OF COURSE I DO.
307
00:13:12,140 --> 00:13:14,408
YOU WERE THE TEAM'S
ONLY MALE CHEERLEADER.
308
00:13:14,476 --> 00:13:17,244
YEAH, TILL I FELL OFF
THE TOP OF THE PYRAMID.
309
00:13:19,046 --> 00:13:20,398
YEAH, THAT WAS CRAZY.
310
00:13:20,465 --> 00:13:22,699
SO, YOU WANNA
GET OUT OF HERE?
311
00:13:27,005 --> 00:13:28,789
YEAH!
WHOO!
312
00:13:28,857 --> 00:13:29,940
CLEMENS BRINGING
THE HEAT.
313
00:13:30,008 --> 00:13:31,375
OH, YEAH!
SHINER!
314
00:13:31,443 --> 00:13:32,542
OH, NICE!
YEAH!
315
00:13:32,610 --> 00:13:33,794
I CAN'T BELIEVE-
316
00:13:33,862 --> 00:13:34,761
THIS IS FUN, RIGHT?
317
00:13:34,829 --> 00:13:35,830
YOU TALKED ME
INTO THIS.
318
00:13:35,897 --> 00:13:37,648
OH, OFF THE TOP!
319
00:13:37,716 --> 00:13:39,767
HERE WE GO.
320
00:13:39,835 --> 00:13:41,469
THIS IS FUN. THIS IS FUN.
321
00:13:41,536 --> 00:13:43,120
IT'S FUN TO DO THIS.
322
00:13:43,188 --> 00:13:45,305
FEELS RIGHT, YOU KNOW?
323
00:13:46,741 --> 00:13:48,575
HEY, SUSSMAN.
324
00:13:48,644 --> 00:13:50,811
YOU CAN'T MAKE
ANY ANNOUNCEMENTS.
325
00:13:50,879 --> 00:13:53,047
THAT'S MY JOB.
326
00:13:53,115 --> 00:13:54,381
YEAH, SUSSMAN,
327
00:13:54,449 --> 00:13:56,733
YOU CAN'T-YOU CAN'T
USE THE PHONE
328
00:13:56,801 --> 00:13:59,486
'CAUSE I USE THE PHONE
FOR LONG-DISTANCE CALLS.
329
00:13:59,554 --> 00:14:02,723
GET ME MY GINGER ALE,
SUSSMAN!
330
00:14:02,790 --> 00:14:03,924
GET ME MY GINGER ALE!
331
00:14:03,992 --> 00:14:05,993
GET SOME GINGER ALE,
GET SOME GINGER ALE,
332
00:14:06,060 --> 00:14:07,795
GET SOME GINGER ALE!
333
00:14:10,382 --> 00:14:13,567
ALL RIGHT, UH... HEY.
334
00:14:14,569 --> 00:14:17,504
LOOKS LIKE, UH,
WE'RE OUT OF EGGS.
335
00:14:17,572 --> 00:14:19,874
WE BETTER RELOAD THEN.
336
00:14:19,941 --> 00:14:22,510
WE SHOULD PROBABLY JUST
HEAD BACK TO THE REUNION.
337
00:14:22,577 --> 00:14:24,678
BACK TO THE STORE.
YOU DRIVE.
338
00:14:24,746 --> 00:14:26,413
I'LL CLUB
SOME MAIL BOXES.
339
00:14:26,481 --> 00:14:27,414
COME ON!
340
00:14:32,987 --> 00:14:34,121
THIS IS A REALLY GOOD
MOVIE, DAD.
341
00:14:34,189 --> 00:14:35,122
YOU PICKED A WINNER.
342
00:14:35,190 --> 00:14:36,123
THANK YOU, DARLING.
343
00:14:36,191 --> 00:14:37,525
THIS POPCORN IS DELICIOUS.
344
00:14:37,592 --> 00:14:39,527
YOU'RE A MAGICIAN
WITH THAT MICROWAVE.
345
00:14:40,812 --> 00:14:41,479
WATCH, DADDY.
346
00:14:41,546 --> 00:14:43,064
I'M GOING TO SWIM
ALL THE WAY ACROSS.
347
00:14:43,131 --> 00:14:44,765
YOU CAN
DO IT, SWEETIE!
348
00:14:44,833 --> 00:14:46,533
I'M DOING IT!
I'M REALLY DOING IT!
349
00:14:46,601 --> 00:14:50,437
THIS REMINDS ME OF WHEN
YOU WERE A LITTLE GIRL.
350
00:14:50,505 --> 00:14:51,705
RIGHT, DAD.
351
00:14:51,773 --> 00:14:53,090
I MEAN IT'S LIKE...
352
00:14:53,158 --> 00:14:55,759
WHEN I WOULD TAKE YOU
TO THE POOL.
353
00:14:55,827 --> 00:14:58,478
NOT QUITE.
354
00:14:58,546 --> 00:15:00,080
WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?
355
00:15:00,148 --> 00:15:01,481
WE WOULD GO SWIMMING
EVERY SATURDAY
356
00:15:01,550 --> 00:15:03,383
AND WE'D HAVE
A WONDERFUL TIME.
357
00:15:03,451 --> 00:15:05,336
UH, NO, WE WOULDN'T
GO SWIMMING.
358
00:15:05,404 --> 00:15:08,605
UH, I HAD TO WAIT IN THE CAR
WHILE YOU DID WATER AEROBICS.
359
00:15:08,673 --> 00:15:09,739
THAT'S HOW
I KEPT IN SHAPE.
360
00:15:09,807 --> 00:15:12,442
BESIDES, SOMEONE
HAD TO FEED THE METER.
361
00:15:12,510 --> 00:15:14,395
I UNDERSTAND THAT.
362
00:15:14,463 --> 00:15:18,566
BUT WOULD IT HAVE KILLED YOU JUST
TO CRACK THE WINDOW A LITTLE BIT?
363
00:15:18,633 --> 00:15:21,301
NOTHING WAS EVER GOOD ENOUGH
FOR PRINCESS CARRIE.
364
00:15:21,369 --> 00:15:23,570
PRINCESS, OK.
365
00:15:23,638 --> 00:15:25,055
DAD, I DON'T KNOW
MANY PRINCESSES
366
00:15:25,123 --> 00:15:26,923
WHO HAD TO PACK UP IN
THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT
367
00:15:26,992 --> 00:15:28,758
AND MOVE EVERY MONTH.
368
00:15:28,826 --> 00:15:30,660
I HAD BAD LUCK
WITH LANDLORDS.
369
00:15:30,728 --> 00:15:32,162
NO, NOT BAD LUCK.
370
00:15:32,230 --> 00:15:34,698
YOU JUST DIDN'T PAY THE
RENT, SO THEY KICKED US OUT.
371
00:15:34,765 --> 00:15:36,333
WELL, I WOULD HAVE
BEEN ABLE TO PAY THE RENT
372
00:15:36,401 --> 00:15:38,302
IF I DIDN'T HAVE
AN UNGRATEFUL CHILD
373
00:15:38,370 --> 00:15:39,970
MESSING UP
ALL MY INVENTIONS.
374
00:15:40,038 --> 00:15:42,840
OK, ARE YOU TALKING
ABOUT THE TURNIP PEELER?
375
00:15:42,907 --> 00:15:45,009
BECAUSE THAT WASN'T
AN INVENTION,
376
00:15:45,077 --> 00:15:47,178
IT WAS A POTATO PEELER
WITH A FANCY HANDLE.
377
00:15:47,245 --> 00:15:48,812
I MEAN, I WAS 8,
AND I KNEW THAT.
378
00:15:48,880 --> 00:15:52,983
THAT'S OUTRAGEOUS.
379
00:15:53,051 --> 00:15:54,200
YOU KNOW WHAT, DAD?
380
00:15:54,268 --> 00:15:55,869
WHEN I SAW YOU AT THE VIDEO
STORE TONIGHT, I WAS JUST GOING
381
00:15:55,937 --> 00:15:57,604
TO PRETEND LIKE I DIDN'T
SEE YOU AND KEEP WALKING.
382
00:15:57,672 --> 00:15:59,189
THEN I THOUGHT, "NO HE'S
YOUR DAD, IT'D BE NICE
383
00:15:59,257 --> 00:16:01,158
TO SIT AND WATCH
A VIDEO WITH HIM."
384
00:16:01,226 --> 00:16:03,276
NEXT TIME, I'M JUST
GOING TO KEEP WALKING.
385
00:16:05,413 --> 00:16:08,115
THAT ATTITUDE IS WHY
I NEVER TOOK YOU SWIMMING!
386
00:16:13,638 --> 00:16:17,791
WELL, LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE
SLEEPING IN THE CAR TONIGHT.
387
00:16:17,859 --> 00:16:20,110
SO, SHE KNOWS
YOU'RE A GUY?
388
00:16:20,178 --> 00:16:22,763
LOOK, EVERY RELATIONSHIP
HAS ITS LITTLE SECRETS.
389
00:16:22,831 --> 00:16:25,198
I JUST WANT TO SEE
WHERE THIS ONE GOES.
390
00:16:25,266 --> 00:16:27,467
YEAH, I'LL TELL YOU
WHERE. NOWHERE.
391
00:16:27,535 --> 00:16:29,253
OH, OK, YOU KNOW WHAT?
YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS
392
00:16:29,321 --> 00:16:31,389
BECAUSE I HOOKED UP
WITH SOMEONE, AND YOU DIDN'T.
393
00:16:31,456 --> 00:16:34,291
OH, I GUESS THE CAPTAIN OF THE
FOOTBALL TEAM ISN'T SOMEBODY.
394
00:16:36,428 --> 00:16:38,595
CAPTAIN-
JUSTIN RAYVO?!
395
00:16:38,663 --> 00:16:39,796
YEP.
396
00:16:39,864 --> 00:16:40,464
HE'S OUT LIKE TROUT,
397
00:16:40,532 --> 00:16:43,550
AND HE WANTS A PIECE
OF THIS.
398
00:16:43,618 --> 00:16:46,537
WHAT EXACTLY ARE YOU
PLANNING ON DOING WITH HIM?
399
00:16:46,604 --> 00:16:47,671
I DON'T KNOW.
400
00:16:47,738 --> 00:16:49,706
THROW BACK A COUPLE
BEERS, WATCH SOME TUBE,
401
00:16:49,774 --> 00:16:51,825
WHO KNOWS?
402
00:16:51,893 --> 00:16:53,844
YOU'RE JUST DOING THIS
TO MESS ME UP.
403
00:16:53,912 --> 00:16:55,045
YOU'RE PATHETIC.
404
00:16:55,113 --> 00:16:56,430
I'M PATHETIC?
405
00:16:56,498 --> 00:16:57,431
AT LEAST SOMEONE HERE
406
00:16:57,499 --> 00:16:59,833
THINKS I'M
AN ATTRACTIVE MAN.
407
00:16:59,900 --> 00:17:00,934
OH, WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT?
408
00:17:01,002 --> 00:17:02,636
AT LEAST AT THE END
OF MY RAINBOW
409
00:17:02,704 --> 00:17:04,505
THERE'S A VAGINA.
410
00:17:05,824 --> 00:17:07,090
YEAH? AND WHAT ARE YOU
GOING TO DO
411
00:17:07,158 --> 00:17:08,442
WHEN SHE ROUNDS
THIRD BASE AND FINDS OUT
412
00:17:08,510 --> 00:17:11,078
THERE'S A BAT ON
THE FIELD?
413
00:17:11,145 --> 00:17:13,246
I'LL CROSS THAT BRIDGE-
414
00:17:13,314 --> 00:17:14,948
BOTTOM LINE IS
I WANT THE APARTMENT.
415
00:17:15,016 --> 00:17:16,950
YEAH, WELL, SO DO I.
416
00:17:21,489 --> 00:17:23,240
I'M JUSTIN,
BY THE WAY.
417
00:17:23,308 --> 00:17:27,060
I THINK WE MET
AT OUTFEST '97.
418
00:17:27,128 --> 00:17:28,896
MM-HMM.
419
00:17:36,804 --> 00:17:38,739
OH, NO.
420
00:17:38,806 --> 00:17:40,106
NO!
421
00:17:41,860 --> 00:17:43,393
YOU'RE KIDDING ME.
422
00:17:43,461 --> 00:17:46,563
YO! YOU CAN'T BE
CLOSED RIGHT NOW!
423
00:17:46,631 --> 00:17:48,465
SUSSMAN, MAN, COME ON.
424
00:17:48,532 --> 00:17:50,300
WHAT IS IT, MAN?
425
00:17:50,368 --> 00:17:52,285
YOU'RE JUST GETTING
A LITTLE CRAZY HERE.
426
00:17:52,354 --> 00:17:54,321
COME ON, WE ALREADY
TRASHED NAGEL'S CAR.
427
00:17:54,389 --> 00:17:56,623
AND I'M PRETTY SURE ONE
OF HIS WINDOWS WAS OPEN.
428
00:17:56,691 --> 00:17:59,276
IT WAS OPEN.
I PEED IN IT.
429
00:17:59,344 --> 00:18:00,294
COME ON,
WHAT DO YOU SAY?
430
00:18:00,361 --> 00:18:01,895
LET ME-LET ME
TAKE YOU HOME, HUH?
431
00:18:03,064 --> 00:18:04,164
YOU'RE RIGHT, HEF.
432
00:18:04,232 --> 00:18:06,199
YOU'RE RIGHT,
YOU'RE RIGHT.
433
00:18:06,267 --> 00:18:07,601
ALL RIGHT.
434
00:18:21,732 --> 00:18:24,017
WHAT'RE YOU DOING? WE GOTTA
GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!
435
00:18:24,085 --> 00:18:26,586
RELAX, AVERAGE RESPONSE
TIME IS 8 MINUTES.
436
00:18:32,560 --> 00:18:33,760
8 MINUTES?
437
00:18:33,795 --> 00:18:35,011
8 MINUTES FROM WHEN?
438
00:18:35,079 --> 00:18:36,746
FROM WHEN YOU THREW THE
GARBAGE CAN THROUGH THE WINDOW?
439
00:18:36,814 --> 00:18:40,083
OR STARTING NOW?
HOW LONG'S IT BEEN?
440
00:18:40,151 --> 00:18:42,819
OH, I GOTTA GO
TO THE BATHROOM.
441
00:18:42,887 --> 00:18:45,371
HEY, YOU'RE GOING TO
NEED GLOVES. FOR WHAT?
442
00:18:45,439 --> 00:18:46,941
FOR WHEN WE BREAK
INTO HIS PLACE.
443
00:18:47,008 --> 00:18:48,909
HE'S GOT A RARE COIN
COLLECTION.
444
00:18:48,944 --> 00:18:49,793
WE'RE GOING
TO STEAL IT,
445
00:18:49,861 --> 00:18:50,794
WE'RE GOING
TO SELL IT,
446
00:18:50,862 --> 00:18:52,029
WE'RE GOING
TO MOVE TO MEXICO.
447
00:19:07,746 --> 00:19:10,047
TRY TO DRINK THE GINGER
ALE WITH THIS ON YOUR MOUTH.
448
00:19:14,852 --> 00:19:16,853
HEY, UH, BUDDY,
I THINK I'M GONNA SCOOT,
449
00:19:16,921 --> 00:19:18,138
BUT YOU HAVE
A GOOD ROBBERY,
450
00:19:18,206 --> 00:19:20,140
AND HEY, I'LL SEE YOU
AT THE 25th, SUSSIE!
451
00:19:20,208 --> 00:19:21,641
GOOD CATCHING UP
WITH YOU, HEF!
452
00:19:27,164 --> 00:19:28,965
I WANT TO RENT IN HER SHOES.
453
00:19:29,033 --> 00:19:31,168
I'M AFRAID WE'RE CLOSED,
SIR.
454
00:19:31,236 --> 00:19:32,335
BUT IT'S FOR MY DAUGHTER.
455
00:19:32,403 --> 00:19:33,553
I'M SORRY,
456
00:19:33,621 --> 00:19:35,155
BUT YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE
TO COME BACK TOMORROW.
457
00:19:35,222 --> 00:19:39,960
LOOK, I WAS NEVER
THERE FOR MY DAUGHTER.
458
00:19:40,028 --> 00:19:43,197
NEVER GAVE HER
THE CHILDHOOD SHE DESERVED.
459
00:19:43,264 --> 00:19:45,866
I ONLY THOUGHT OF MYSELF.
460
00:19:45,934 --> 00:19:48,435
YOU SOUND A LOT LIKE
MY DAD.
461
00:19:48,502 --> 00:19:50,670
THEN YOU KNOW
WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.
462
00:19:50,738 --> 00:19:52,405
WOULDN'T IT BE WONDERFUL
IF YOU SAT DOWN WITH HIM
463
00:19:52,473 --> 00:19:56,043
AND WATCHED IN HER SHOES?
464
00:19:56,110 --> 00:19:57,711
OF COURSE IT WOULD.
465
00:20:00,381 --> 00:20:01,598
IT'S OVER THERE!
466
00:20:01,666 --> 00:20:03,500
NOW, HURRY UP!
467
00:20:03,568 --> 00:20:05,151
OH, GOD. THE ALARM.
468
00:20:05,219 --> 00:20:07,721
AND ONLY THE MORNING CREW
HAS THE CODE!
469
00:20:07,789 --> 00:20:10,374
I AM SO FIRED.
470
00:20:10,441 --> 00:20:13,060
BE SURE AND LET ME
KNOW WHERE YOU WIND UP.
471
00:20:34,049 --> 00:20:36,166
SEE YOU IN MEXICO! WHOO!
472
00:20:43,424 --> 00:20:46,060
THIS I DIDN'T SEE COMING.