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00:00:04,644 --> 00:00:05,978
Whoa, whoa!
2
00:00:46,953 --> 00:00:48,220
D'oh!
3
00:00:55,095 --> 00:00:56,695
Hmm.
4
00:01:00,267 --> 00:01:02,200
Uh! Mom!
5
00:01:02,225 --> 00:01:05,725
♪ The Simpsons 23x10 ♪
Politically Inept With Homer
Original Air Date on January 8, 2012
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00:01:05,750 --> 00:01:09,250
= sync, corrected by elderman =
Sync for 720p.web-dl.ctrlHD by sn655321
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00:01:16,057 --> 00:01:16,839
Next.
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00:01:16,840 --> 00:01:20,009
Finally. The only thing
I wait in lines this long for
9
00:01:20,076 --> 00:01:21,610
are slightly better cell phones.
10
00:01:21,678 --> 00:01:23,896
Why do we even have to
go to this stupid wedding?
11
00:01:23,964 --> 00:01:27,449
Cousin Kathy invited us so
our feelings wouldn't be hurt.
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00:01:27,517 --> 00:01:30,202
And we're going so her feelings
won't be hurt.
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00:01:30,270 --> 00:01:32,805
I just don't understand
the world of grown-ups.
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00:01:34,875 --> 00:01:37,660
Sorry, sir, your bag is
two pounds over the limit.
15
00:01:37,727 --> 00:01:39,528
Are you sure everything
inside is essential?
16
00:01:39,596 --> 00:01:40,813
Absolutely.
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00:01:40,881 --> 00:01:42,498
Let me just redistribute
our thingies
18
00:01:42,582 --> 00:01:44,433
amongst our various bags.
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00:01:46,670 --> 00:01:48,537
High school yearbooks...
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00:01:48,605 --> 00:01:50,823
I told you not to pack them!
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00:01:50,891 --> 00:01:53,876
Don't argue in front of
the airport line.
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00:01:53,944 --> 00:01:56,228
Strangers are judging
our marriage!
23
00:01:56,296 --> 00:01:58,747
Lisa, do you really need all
these Kurt Vonnegut novels?
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00:01:58,815 --> 00:02:00,349
They self-reference each other.
25
00:02:00,417 --> 00:02:04,036
Marge, do we really need
all these feminine products?
26
00:02:04,104 --> 00:02:05,704
That's toothpaste!
27
00:02:05,772 --> 00:02:07,556
Yes, but I never use
that kind of toothpaste!
28
00:02:07,641 --> 00:02:09,825
Why don't you put one
of those weights in that bag
29
00:02:09,893 --> 00:02:11,710
and put the other one
in that bag?
30
00:02:13,546 --> 00:02:14,897
Try to catch one
on your tongue.
31
00:02:14,965 --> 00:02:16,482
We're not with him.
32
00:02:19,920 --> 00:02:22,538
We'll need to have a special
agent check this out.
33
00:02:26,092 --> 00:02:27,059
You're clear.
34
00:02:27,127 --> 00:02:28,911
Now I have to
change the nipple.
35
00:02:28,979 --> 00:02:30,613
True patriots breastfeed.
36
00:02:31,965 --> 00:02:33,215
Sir, you've been
selected for a pat-down.
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00:02:33,283 --> 00:02:34,533
Whoo-hoo!
38
00:02:34,584 --> 00:02:36,535
Can you focus
on my shoulders?
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00:02:36,586 --> 00:02:38,771
That's where I
carry my stress.
40
00:02:38,838 --> 00:02:42,007
Now, if I fart, that's
'cause I'm so relaxed.
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00:02:44,210 --> 00:02:45,561
Sir, there isn't
enough room.
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00:02:52,552 --> 00:02:54,053
Welcome to flight 55
45
00:02:54,120 --> 00:02:56,055
to Bozeman, Montana
by way of Miami.
46
00:02:56,122 --> 00:02:59,191
Due to an unforeseen jailbreak
in New South Wales,
47
00:02:59,259 --> 00:03:01,760
our takeoff is going to be
just a little bit delayed.
48
00:03:01,828 --> 00:03:03,395
So, we're going to be
turning off the air,
49
00:03:03,463 --> 00:03:05,230
but ethnic people
are permitted to open
50
00:03:05,298 --> 00:03:06,582
and eat their home-cooked food.
51
00:03:06,650 --> 00:03:07,916
Huh?
52
00:03:07,984 --> 00:03:09,451
What the...?
53
00:03:09,519 --> 00:03:10,986
Crazy food indeed,
my friend.
54
00:03:19,879 --> 00:03:21,213
Good news, folks.
55
00:03:21,281 --> 00:03:23,165
We've been cleared to taxi
back to the terminal.
56
00:03:23,233 --> 00:03:25,301
You still can't get off,
but you will be able
57
00:03:25,368 --> 00:03:27,169
to look through the window
and see other people
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00:03:27,237 --> 00:03:28,570
walking around
and making fun of us.
59
00:03:28,638 --> 00:03:30,072
No word on takeoff.
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00:03:31,441 --> 00:03:32,858
Sir, return
to your seat.
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00:03:32,925 --> 00:03:35,144
But I have to go
to the bathroom.
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00:03:35,228 --> 00:03:36,528
You should have thought of that
63
00:03:36,596 --> 00:03:38,397
before you drank the fluids
you need to live.
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00:03:44,154 --> 00:03:46,905
Don't tread on pee!
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00:03:48,892 --> 00:03:50,909
We probably
have rights!
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00:03:50,977 --> 00:03:52,244
Yeah!
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00:03:54,414 --> 00:03:56,832
Airlines don't treat people
like people anymore.
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00:03:56,916 --> 00:03:58,684
You make us beg
for a filthy pillow
69
00:03:58,752 --> 00:04:00,252
that a barnyard rat
70
00:04:00,320 --> 00:04:01,553
wouldn't curl up and die in.
71
00:04:01,621 --> 00:04:02,821
And watch pre-taped messages
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00:04:02,889 --> 00:04:05,391
that make crashing
look like fun!
73
00:04:05,458 --> 00:04:08,927
Never putting me
next to a pretty girl.
74
00:04:11,297 --> 00:04:12,464
We're going to need
the air marshal.
75
00:04:17,487 --> 00:04:18,637
Now you've done it!
76
00:04:20,106 --> 00:04:21,774
I need backup!
77
00:04:21,825 --> 00:04:23,142
Come on, ladies.
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00:04:23,209 --> 00:04:24,643
You're all
deputies now.
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00:04:25,979 --> 00:04:28,781
Look, all I want
is what everybody wants:
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00:04:28,848 --> 00:04:30,949
preferential treatment.
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00:04:32,752 --> 00:04:36,238
You can check my carry-on,
but you can't check my spirit.
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00:04:36,306 --> 00:04:38,841
And why is there moisture
between the windows?
83
00:04:38,925 --> 00:04:41,260
And don't wake me up to land.
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00:04:41,327 --> 00:04:42,994
Just land!
85
00:04:50,203 --> 00:04:51,870
I regret nothing!
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00:04:51,938 --> 00:04:53,789
Except this part.
87
00:04:56,826 --> 00:04:59,361
This is the last airline
that would take us.
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00:04:59,446 --> 00:05:00,979
Looks like we're back
to traveling
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00:05:01,047 --> 00:05:02,981
on tramp steamers
and produce trucks.
90
00:05:03,049 --> 00:05:04,349
I call shotgun!
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00:05:04,417 --> 00:05:05,584
It's too early
to call shotgun.
92
00:05:05,652 --> 00:05:07,286
It's never too early
to call shotgun.
93
00:05:07,353 --> 00:05:08,620
No one's shotgun!
94
00:05:08,688 --> 00:05:10,305
Now, be quiet.
95
00:05:13,126 --> 00:05:14,560
I'm still going to make
my flight, right?
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00:05:14,627 --> 00:05:16,462
'Cause, if not,
you have to put me up
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00:05:16,529 --> 00:05:17,663
in a first-class hotel.
98
00:05:17,730 --> 00:05:19,264
That's how it works. I...
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00:05:24,471 --> 00:05:25,838
"Fatso Goes Nutso."
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00:05:25,905 --> 00:05:28,307
And post to YouTube
with the following key words:
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00:05:28,374 --> 00:05:30,776
"fat," "stupid,"
"classic Simpsons,"
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00:05:30,844 --> 00:05:32,027
and just to be safe,
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00:05:32,095 --> 00:05:33,695
"baby rides kitten
rides penguin."
104
00:05:33,763 --> 00:05:35,864
Perfect.
105
00:05:35,932 --> 00:05:38,183
You can check my carry-on,
106
00:05:38,251 --> 00:05:39,985
but you can't check my spirit.
107
00:05:40,052 --> 00:05:42,571
And why is there moisture
between the windows?
108
00:05:42,639 --> 00:05:44,940
And don't wake me up to land.
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00:05:45,008 --> 00:05:46,875
Just land!
110
00:05:57,137 --> 00:05:59,071
A six-pack
of Duff, please.
111
00:05:59,139 --> 00:06:00,305
Oh, yes, Mr. Homer.
112
00:06:01,641 --> 00:06:02,975
What gave me away?
113
00:06:03,042 --> 00:06:04,927
Well, the hot dogs spin
counterclockwise in fear
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00:06:04,994 --> 00:06:07,779
whenever you are near, sir.
115
00:06:07,847 --> 00:06:09,598
Uh, why are you in disguise?
116
00:06:09,666 --> 00:06:12,634
Because of that dumb viral video
with 150 million hits,
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00:06:12,702 --> 00:06:14,470
I can't go out in public.
118
00:06:14,537 --> 00:06:15,737
Hey, it's the guy
from the plane.
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00:06:17,240 --> 00:06:18,974
Hey, way to go!
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00:06:19,042 --> 00:06:22,010
Wha...?
You said what we all think,
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00:06:22,078 --> 00:06:24,746
but don't have the bones to say.
122
00:06:24,814 --> 00:06:27,749
When I heard Homer speak,
I no longer felt small.
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00:06:27,817 --> 00:06:29,451
They love me.
124
00:06:29,519 --> 00:06:31,220
The quiet Homer Simpson
that kept it all
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00:06:31,287 --> 00:06:33,388
bottled up inside is dead.
126
00:06:33,456 --> 00:06:36,792
This is the birth
of Homer Simpson, blowhard.
127
00:06:36,860 --> 00:06:39,094
I'm on the roll of my life.
128
00:06:39,162 --> 00:06:41,113
Give me a scratcher.
129
00:06:41,181 --> 00:06:42,714
Give me another one.
130
00:06:42,782 --> 00:06:44,016
Almost a winner.
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00:06:48,256 --> 00:06:50,637
ANNOUNCER:
Head Butt with Nash Castor.
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00:06:51,035 --> 00:06:52,752
I'm Nash Castor.
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00:06:52,820 --> 00:06:55,288
Coming up, we butt heads
with Ron Paul, Rand Paul,
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00:06:55,356 --> 00:06:57,524
Paul Ryan
and Mitt "the Wonder" Romney.
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00:06:57,592 --> 00:06:59,192
But first, we're here
with this guy
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00:06:59,260 --> 00:07:01,228
my kid said was a thing:
Homer Simpson.
137
00:07:01,295 --> 00:07:03,163
- Whoo-hoo! I'm famous again!
- Yes,
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00:07:03,214 --> 00:07:04,548
your video has been mashed-up,
139
00:07:04,615 --> 00:07:06,016
Auto-Tuned, Jimmy Falloned,
140
00:07:06,083 --> 00:07:07,918
Philippine prisonered,
141
00:07:08,002 --> 00:07:09,469
and occasionally even watched.
142
00:07:09,536 --> 00:07:12,272
Ha! But can you save America
from its last savior?
143
00:07:12,340 --> 00:07:14,374
- Adriatica Veljohnson.
- Nash,
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00:07:14,425 --> 00:07:16,343
in this
kicked-in-the-teeth world,
145
00:07:16,394 --> 00:07:19,346
what we don't need
is another blustering bloat bag
146
00:07:19,397 --> 00:07:21,998
who claims to speak for Bubba
and Britney Spray-Cheese.
147
00:07:22,066 --> 00:07:23,333
That's really smart.
148
00:07:23,401 --> 00:07:24,501
That's like something
I would say.
149
00:07:24,569 --> 00:07:25,869
Precisely, Nash.
150
00:07:25,937 --> 00:07:27,237
That's a great point,
Adriatica.
151
00:07:27,305 --> 00:07:29,039
Well, if I could
explain myself...
152
00:07:29,106 --> 00:07:30,140
Head butt!
153
00:07:30,208 --> 00:07:31,675
We'll be right back after this.
154
00:07:32,927 --> 00:07:34,761
Come here, you.
155
00:07:36,697 --> 00:07:39,165
Homie, you can win
this argument.
156
00:07:39,233 --> 00:07:42,752
Just rant and rave like you do
to the TV during sports.
157
00:07:48,042 --> 00:07:49,976
Yes. Yes. Got it!
158
00:07:52,747 --> 00:07:53,914
Uh, five seconds to air.
159
00:07:55,216 --> 00:07:56,449
And we're back
with Homer Simpson,
160
00:07:56,517 --> 00:07:58,752
who's about to become
a soggy Pamper
161
00:07:58,819 --> 00:08:02,055
flung to the side of history's
freeway in three, two...
162
00:08:02,123 --> 00:08:03,623
Not so fast!
163
00:08:03,691 --> 00:08:07,327
Now, I may not be some
mani-pedied TV blowhard,
164
00:08:07,395 --> 00:08:09,496
but I do speak
for the common man
165
00:08:09,563 --> 00:08:12,732
who does his lousy job,
goes to church twice a year
166
00:08:12,800 --> 00:08:14,134
and watches women's tennis
167
00:08:14,201 --> 00:08:15,936
'cause he likes
to hear them grunt.
168
00:08:16,003 --> 00:08:18,738
I bet Chuck the cameraman
and Steve the sound guy
169
00:08:18,806 --> 00:08:20,407
know where I'm coming from.
170
00:08:22,743 --> 00:08:24,661
Yeah, that's what I'm
talking about.
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00:08:24,745 --> 00:08:26,963
Those real people out there
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00:08:27,048 --> 00:08:29,332
who buy their coffee
from the mini-mart
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00:08:29,417 --> 00:08:31,635
and grab enough sugar packs
for a week.
174
00:08:31,719 --> 00:08:34,921
Honest, hardworking,
sugar-stealing Americans!
175
00:08:34,972 --> 00:08:36,406
Cut.
176
00:08:36,474 --> 00:08:37,874
Nash, I'm scared.
177
00:08:37,942 --> 00:08:39,893
Find me a rich
husband- quick!
178
00:08:39,960 --> 00:08:42,445
Dad, you out-talked
the talking heads.
179
00:08:42,513 --> 00:08:44,247
From now on,
when someone asks me,
180
00:08:44,315 --> 00:08:46,149
I'm going to say
you are my father.
181
00:08:46,233 --> 00:08:47,517
Aw, son.
182
00:08:47,585 --> 00:08:51,054
Now I regret bad-mouthing you
to that girl you liked.
183
00:08:51,122 --> 00:08:52,789
Homer, the way you
just demolished
184
00:08:52,857 --> 00:08:55,859
our number-one
on-air personality was...
185
00:08:55,926 --> 00:08:57,811
fantastic!
186
00:08:57,878 --> 00:09:00,213
You are the kind
of ill-informed gasbag
187
00:09:00,281 --> 00:09:01,982
this network
cannot get enough of.
188
00:09:02,049 --> 00:09:03,550
We only have 11 now.
189
00:09:03,617 --> 00:09:05,485
Not to mention
our liberal straw man.
190
00:09:05,553 --> 00:09:07,854
♪ Oh, the plain
and simple facts is ♪
191
00:09:07,922 --> 00:09:09,656
♪ I'd love to raise your taxes
192
00:09:09,724 --> 00:09:12,175
♪ And make your
children gay... ♪
193
00:09:12,243 --> 00:09:14,077
But what we don't
have is someone
194
00:09:14,145 --> 00:09:15,545
who speaks to the
average American.
195
00:09:15,613 --> 00:09:18,448
Your flyover Franks,
your dirt-bike Daryls.
196
00:09:18,516 --> 00:09:21,001
How can you refer
to your audience that way?
197
00:09:21,068 --> 00:09:22,285
Well, what you
do is take
198
00:09:22,353 --> 00:09:24,154
a derogatory term and
think of other words
199
00:09:24,221 --> 00:09:25,722
that start with the same letter.
- Hmm.
200
00:09:25,790 --> 00:09:26,990
Homer, you're getting
your own show.
201
00:09:27,058 --> 00:09:28,325
Finally.
202
00:09:28,392 --> 00:09:30,327
But I want to do it my way:
203
00:09:30,394 --> 00:09:33,330
classy and sophisticated.
204
00:09:33,397 --> 00:09:35,815
Welcome to Gut Check
with Homer Simpson!
205
00:09:35,883 --> 00:09:39,753
Where the truth is served
with a side of... in your face.
206
00:09:44,925 --> 00:09:46,576
I am Homer Simpson.
207
00:09:49,130 --> 00:09:52,165
America's latest teller of truth
with a book deal on the side.
208
00:09:52,233 --> 00:09:53,900
Audio book
read by Lenny.
209
00:09:53,968 --> 00:09:56,236
I'm not just another loudmouth.
210
00:09:56,303 --> 00:09:59,406
I'm a loudmouth who says things
you're afraid to say,
211
00:09:59,473 --> 00:10:01,424
but not racist things!
212
00:10:03,094 --> 00:10:04,544
Let's go to the map.
213
00:10:04,612 --> 00:10:06,613
Zoomy, zoomy, zoomy.
214
00:10:06,680 --> 00:10:08,448
Dateline: Nebraska.
215
00:10:08,516 --> 00:10:10,583
A high school principal
has decided
216
00:10:10,651 --> 00:10:13,987
that football is too dangerous,
217
00:10:14,055 --> 00:10:16,756
so he's replacing it
with... soccer.
218
00:10:19,343 --> 00:10:20,810
Are you ready
for Irish announcers
219
00:10:20,878 --> 00:10:22,545
with lyrical accents?
220
00:10:22,613 --> 00:10:24,381
"Oh, that's a lovely touch.
221
00:10:24,448 --> 00:10:26,616
Oh, such a beautiful form."
222
00:10:26,684 --> 00:10:29,185
If we lose football,
223
00:10:29,253 --> 00:10:32,021
we lose the blitz, cheerleaders,
224
00:10:32,089 --> 00:10:34,891
Rudys, Ochocincos,
225
00:10:34,959 --> 00:10:37,894
something for fat kids to play.
226
00:10:39,697 --> 00:10:41,898
Ochocincos.
227
00:10:46,337 --> 00:10:48,004
Oh, yeah, that's right.
228
00:10:48,072 --> 00:10:49,739
It's already happening, people.
229
00:10:49,807 --> 00:10:51,541
Hoard your toilet paper.
230
00:10:51,609 --> 00:10:53,343
Shoot the mailman!
231
00:10:53,411 --> 00:10:56,379
Shoot the mailman.
232
00:10:56,447 --> 00:10:58,915
Is it a little weird
how much he cries?
233
00:10:58,983 --> 00:11:01,518
No way. When a guy
who loves America cries,
234
00:11:01,585 --> 00:11:03,019
it makes him super straight.
235
00:11:04,622 --> 00:11:05,889
This is going so great.
236
00:11:05,956 --> 00:11:07,357
I'm already
a Halloween mask!
237
00:11:10,194 --> 00:11:11,161
That's not you.
238
00:11:11,228 --> 00:11:13,196
They just painted Shrek yellow.
239
00:11:14,398 --> 00:11:16,699
It's still a great honor.
240
00:11:16,767 --> 00:11:18,902
Dad, I'm glad your show
is successful,
241
00:11:18,969 --> 00:11:22,305
but I have to ask you:
what's with the crying?
242
00:11:22,373 --> 00:11:24,174
Great question.
243
00:11:24,241 --> 00:11:27,343
I know you children have never
seen your father cry before.
244
00:11:27,411 --> 00:11:28,878
Marge, do we have
any more gravy?
245
00:11:28,946 --> 00:11:30,346
No, we're out.
246
00:11:30,414 --> 00:11:31,614
Why?
247
00:11:31,682 --> 00:11:33,383
Oh, why?!
248
00:11:35,419 --> 00:11:37,320
Homie, I'm glad
you're passionate,
249
00:11:37,388 --> 00:11:40,056
I just hope you're not
riling people up with your show.
250
00:11:40,124 --> 00:11:42,192
Oh, Marge, don't worry.
251
00:11:42,259 --> 00:11:44,461
People know
I'm doing a character,
252
00:11:44,528 --> 00:11:47,664
like Stephen Colbert
or Newt Gingrich.
253
00:11:49,233 --> 00:11:51,267
Welcome back to Gut Check.
254
00:11:51,335 --> 00:11:54,971
I have something very, very
pro-American to share with you.
255
00:11:55,039 --> 00:11:56,206
Come with me.
256
00:11:56,290 --> 00:11:58,024
D'oh! Death
to America!
257
00:11:58,092 --> 00:11:59,576
I mean, over here.
258
00:11:59,643 --> 00:12:01,845
You all know I'm a big fan
of American meat.
259
00:12:01,912 --> 00:12:05,465
Although, sometimes you got to
cut off some of the gristle.
260
00:12:08,402 --> 00:12:10,970
Take that, centers of
art and commerce!
261
00:12:11,038 --> 00:12:13,540
And this country has something
extra that makes our meat
262
00:12:13,607 --> 00:12:16,142
the juiciest,
most melt-in-your-mouth,
263
00:12:16,210 --> 00:12:18,144
stay-in-your-heart meat
in the world.
264
00:12:18,212 --> 00:12:21,981
That's right, I'm talking about
the gravy of freedom.
265
00:12:23,918 --> 00:12:27,520
When March Madness spills
into April, that's the gravy.
266
00:12:27,588 --> 00:12:29,122
When someone messes with you,
267
00:12:29,190 --> 00:12:31,991
and you invade the country
that did it plus another one,
268
00:12:32,059 --> 00:12:33,793
that's the gravy.
269
00:12:33,861 --> 00:12:36,196
When you stick your flag
in the moon
270
00:12:36,263 --> 00:12:40,867
and say "Now we're done trying,"
that's the gravy!
271
00:12:40,935 --> 00:12:42,936
So get on the boat.
272
00:12:43,003 --> 00:12:44,938
The gravy boat!
273
00:12:45,005 --> 00:12:48,074
Good night and good gravy.
274
00:12:48,142 --> 00:12:49,642
Great show, people.
275
00:12:49,710 --> 00:12:50,777
Great show.
276
00:12:50,844 --> 00:12:53,646
Um. not a big deal,
but next time,
277
00:12:53,714 --> 00:12:55,782
can we use real gravy
instead of brown paint?
278
00:12:55,849 --> 00:12:56,983
Not a big deal.
279
00:12:57,051 --> 00:13:00,019
So, what's this
with the gravy boat?
280
00:13:00,087 --> 00:13:02,288
Just an innocuous little symbol,
281
00:13:02,356 --> 00:13:05,358
like a smiley face
or like an I.O.U.
282
00:13:05,426 --> 00:13:08,394
You know, symbols can often
rile people up.
283
00:13:08,462 --> 00:13:11,364
The swastika,
the New York Yankees logo.
284
00:13:11,432 --> 00:13:12,298
Oh.
285
00:13:12,366 --> 00:13:13,766
Don't worry, sweetie.
286
00:13:13,834 --> 00:13:16,269
I think I know how to
whip up an audience
287
00:13:16,337 --> 00:13:17,437
just short
of a frenzy.
288
00:13:39,576 --> 00:13:40,977
Why did I make this
a loss leader?
289
00:13:44,221 --> 00:13:46,536
The gravy boat movement
is spreading across the nation
290
00:13:46,541 --> 00:13:49,272
like a rumor about
some kid and someone's mom
291
00:13:49,273 --> 00:13:50,707
hooking up at a high school.
292
00:13:50,775 --> 00:13:52,709
With the presidential primaries
coming up
293
00:13:52,777 --> 00:13:54,377
and an entrenched incumbent
in office,
294
00:13:54,445 --> 00:13:56,980
Republican leaders
have no choice but to court
295
00:13:57,048 --> 00:14:00,784
this movement's inglorious
baster, Homer Simpson.
296
00:14:02,486 --> 00:14:03,803
Marge, I'm going to meet with
297
00:14:03,888 --> 00:14:06,056
the Republican establishment
and pick their nominee.
298
00:14:06,123 --> 00:14:09,125
If there's sandwiches there,
you want me to bring some back?
299
00:14:09,193 --> 00:14:11,294
Speaking for Lisa and me,
300
00:14:11,362 --> 00:14:15,031
we're not really
110% behind you anymore.
301
00:14:15,099 --> 00:14:17,334
Then what percent above 100
are you behind me?
302
00:14:17,401 --> 00:14:18,468
Um, none.
303
00:14:18,519 --> 00:14:20,086
Only 100%?!
304
00:14:21,138 --> 00:14:22,839
Homie, I love you,
305
00:14:22,907 --> 00:14:25,442
and I'm glad we're finally
using our wedding china,
306
00:14:25,509 --> 00:14:26,976
but when you're
helping to pick
307
00:14:27,044 --> 00:14:29,446
the next leader
of the free world...
308
00:14:29,497 --> 00:14:30,914
Dad, you shouldn't do this.
309
00:14:30,981 --> 00:14:33,216
It's not fair
how much influence you have.
310
00:14:33,284 --> 00:14:36,052
Now, Lisa, I'm
an entertainer.
311
00:14:36,120 --> 00:14:39,189
And you can't entertain and
inform at the same time.
312
00:14:39,256 --> 00:14:41,024
And if you're Access
Hollywood, you do neither.
313
00:14:46,681 --> 00:14:49,549
Hmm. Hmm.
314
00:14:49,617 --> 00:14:51,618
Now, they're all
excellent choices,
315
00:14:51,686 --> 00:14:54,120
so simply pick the white
male candidate you prefer
316
00:14:54,188 --> 00:14:55,188
and we'll elect him.
317
00:14:55,256 --> 00:14:56,239
I don't know.
318
00:14:56,307 --> 00:14:58,541
Can't we get
Chris Christie to run?
319
00:14:58,609 --> 00:15:00,043
I don't think so.
320
00:15:03,931 --> 00:15:06,433
Save me, ObamaCare!
321
00:15:06,500 --> 00:15:09,352
Yeah, maybe I'll vote Democrat.
322
00:15:09,403 --> 00:15:10,970
The great thing is,
when they get in,
323
00:15:11,038 --> 00:15:12,839
they act like Republicans.
324
00:15:12,907 --> 00:15:16,176
No one's voting Democrat
while I can still draw a bow.
325
00:15:20,364 --> 00:15:22,565
Ted Nugent.
326
00:15:22,633 --> 00:15:26,119
I made love on my honeymoon
to your sweet music.
327
00:15:26,187 --> 00:15:27,587
You're my man!
328
00:15:27,655 --> 00:15:30,974
You're endorsing Ted Nugent
for president?
329
00:15:31,041 --> 00:15:33,710
He's a right-wing rock star
who likes everything I hate!
330
00:15:33,778 --> 00:15:35,745
Could there be anyone awesomer?
331
00:15:35,813 --> 00:15:37,097
Who's hungry for elk?
332
00:15:40,151 --> 00:15:41,534
Hmm.
333
00:15:41,602 --> 00:15:43,970
My daughter's a vegetarian.
334
00:15:44,038 --> 00:15:45,905
That's all right,
she can munch on an antler.
335
00:15:45,973 --> 00:15:47,640
Antlers ain't meat.
336
00:15:53,131 --> 00:15:54,765
I thought I smelled
death-a-diddly.
337
00:15:54,833 --> 00:15:56,133
What is that, an
eight-pointer?
338
00:15:56,201 --> 00:15:57,568
From the looks
of that moustache,
339
00:15:57,636 --> 00:15:59,203
I'm guessing you're
a tenured professor
340
00:15:59,270 --> 00:16:01,005
at the People's Republic
of Berkeley.
341
00:16:01,072 --> 00:16:03,841
Hey, the only left-wing thing
about me is the way I write.
342
00:16:04,876 --> 00:16:06,176
Oh, that's just fine,
343
00:16:06,244 --> 00:16:08,579
as long as you're
not a Mormon.
344
00:16:08,647 --> 00:16:11,215
Dad, you cannot
endorse Ted Nugent.
345
00:16:11,282 --> 00:16:12,983
I mean, sure,
we all love his music...
346
00:16:13,051 --> 00:16:14,051
Oh, yeah.
No question about it.
347
00:16:14,119 --> 00:16:15,452
I love that guy.
We listen to it.
348
00:16:15,520 --> 00:16:16,553
But he's out of his mind!
349
00:16:16,621 --> 00:16:18,222
He can't run for president!
350
00:16:18,289 --> 00:16:20,441
I bagged me a fat little badger.
351
00:16:20,508 --> 00:16:23,043
Please, kind
sir, have pity.
352
00:16:23,111 --> 00:16:25,179
All I hear is
"chitter-chitter."
353
00:16:34,556 --> 00:16:36,357
Arise, Homer Simpson!
354
00:16:36,424 --> 00:16:37,758
Huh? Who's there?
355
00:16:40,528 --> 00:16:42,029
Mozart!
356
00:16:42,097 --> 00:16:44,264
I am James Madison, sir.
357
00:16:44,332 --> 00:16:46,900
Fourth president
of these United States.
358
00:16:46,968 --> 00:16:47,701
Ooh.
359
00:16:47,769 --> 00:16:49,103
Now, come, and I shall
360
00:16:49,170 --> 00:16:50,504
teach you of democracy.
361
00:16:50,572 --> 00:16:51,805
Can we get some pizza
on the way?
362
00:16:51,873 --> 00:16:53,140
Everything's closed.
363
00:16:53,208 --> 00:16:54,842
They sell some
at the gas station.
364
00:16:54,909 --> 00:16:57,211
I don't want
gas station pizza.
365
00:17:01,249 --> 00:17:04,051
So, how come your picture's
not on money?
366
00:17:04,135 --> 00:17:06,220
Actually, I'm on
the $5,000 bill.
367
00:17:06,304 --> 00:17:07,671
Do you give them out
for fans?
368
00:17:07,722 --> 00:17:08,872
'Cause I'm a fan.
369
00:17:11,342 --> 00:17:13,510
I want to
show you something.
370
00:17:15,497 --> 00:17:16,797
What's this?
371
00:17:16,865 --> 00:17:19,366
Some kind of
bicentennial lemon party?
372
00:17:19,434 --> 00:17:21,802
These are the framers of
the Constitution, Homer.
373
00:17:21,870 --> 00:17:24,638
This great nation is built upon
the hard work of,
374
00:17:24,706 --> 00:17:26,874
well, as you would say, nerds.
375
00:17:26,941 --> 00:17:27,908
Nerds!
376
00:17:27,976 --> 00:17:29,676
You want I should mess them up?
377
00:17:29,744 --> 00:17:32,029
I want you
should not mess!
378
00:17:32,097 --> 00:17:34,815
You are an embarrassment to
the aristocratic slaveholders
379
00:17:34,883 --> 00:17:36,517
who forged this
mighty nation.
380
00:17:36,584 --> 00:17:38,485
But gravy is
the freedom where...
381
00:17:38,553 --> 00:17:39,553
Silence!
382
00:17:39,621 --> 00:17:40,954
Founding
Fathers, to me!
383
00:17:45,627 --> 00:17:49,296
"Congress shall have the power
to lay and collect taxes"?!
384
00:17:49,380 --> 00:17:51,181
"No new states shall be formed
385
00:17:51,249 --> 00:17:53,117
"or erected
within the jurisdiction
386
00:17:53,184 --> 00:17:56,186
of any other state"?!
387
00:17:56,254 --> 00:17:57,788
No, no, John Hancock.
388
00:17:57,856 --> 00:17:59,389
I don't need insurance.
389
00:17:59,457 --> 00:18:02,259
Sam Adams, I'm sorry
I made fun of your winter ale.
390
00:18:02,310 --> 00:18:03,427
Homie, wake up.
391
00:18:03,495 --> 00:18:05,062
It was all a dream.
392
00:18:05,113 --> 00:18:07,631
Oh, Marge,
Oscar Madison came to me
393
00:18:07,699 --> 00:18:11,301
and told me that politics are
serious and important!
394
00:18:12,403 --> 00:18:13,771
Lisa, you were right!
395
00:18:13,838 --> 00:18:16,640
I'm not going to endorse
anybody for anything.
396
00:18:24,983 --> 00:18:26,683
Oh, Dad!
397
00:18:26,751 --> 00:18:29,052
I'm so glad you've heard
the voice of reason.
398
00:18:29,120 --> 00:18:32,489
Yes, the will of the people
should not be subverted
399
00:18:32,557 --> 00:18:34,825
by demagogues who...
hey, what's this?
400
00:18:34,893 --> 00:18:36,760
"Springfield Colonial Village"?
401
00:18:39,914 --> 00:18:40,681
What the...?
402
00:18:40,748 --> 00:18:42,749
You faked it!
403
00:18:42,817 --> 00:18:44,952
Lisa, how could you?
404
00:18:45,019 --> 00:18:46,770
It wasn't just
her, Homie.
405
00:18:46,838 --> 00:18:48,038
It was all of us.
406
00:18:48,106 --> 00:18:49,940
I did it just to
mess with your mind.
407
00:18:50,008 --> 00:18:52,442
That's what a play
within a play is for!
408
00:18:54,162 --> 00:18:56,797
No strangling
on school days!
409
00:18:56,865 --> 00:18:59,633
Well, if there's one thing
I don't like being taught,
410
00:18:59,701 --> 00:19:01,101
it's a lesson!
411
00:19:01,169 --> 00:19:03,137
I'm so mad.
412
00:19:03,204 --> 00:19:05,405
Not only will I endorse
Ted Nugent,
413
00:19:05,473 --> 00:19:09,543
but I will call for an end to
the direct election of senators!
414
00:19:09,611 --> 00:19:11,278
Dad, no!
415
00:19:11,346 --> 00:19:12,513
Really? That
made sense?
416
00:19:12,580 --> 00:19:13,747
Then I'm definitely
doing it.
417
00:19:16,618 --> 00:19:19,520
Folks, because I love
democracy so much,
418
00:19:19,604 --> 00:19:21,688
I command you to
vote for this man
419
00:19:21,756 --> 00:19:24,474
whom I alone have selected
as your next president.
420
00:19:24,542 --> 00:19:28,045
Now to baptize his candidacy
with my tears.
421
00:19:28,112 --> 00:19:32,416
The words "strutting stadium
rocker" are overused these days,
422
00:19:32,483 --> 00:19:35,419
but when I first
met Ted Nugent...
423
00:19:36,621 --> 00:19:38,121
Uh, huh?
424
00:19:38,189 --> 00:19:39,957
My emotions were
so powerful.
425
00:19:40,024 --> 00:19:42,392
Come on, hurry up and cry
so I can get elected
426
00:19:42,460 --> 00:19:45,329
and open up the San Diego Zoo
for big game hunting.
427
00:19:49,384 --> 00:19:51,051
It's not working. But why?
428
00:19:51,135 --> 00:19:52,469
Maybe because,
deep down,
429
00:19:52,537 --> 00:19:54,671
you know you don't believe
in what you're doing.
430
00:19:54,739 --> 00:19:56,573
Oh, my God, she's right.
431
00:19:56,641 --> 00:20:00,644
My lips will say anything,
but my eyes know the truth!
432
00:20:00,712 --> 00:20:02,446
My ears are
keeping their mouth shut.
433
00:20:05,183 --> 00:20:10,254
My fellow Americans,
I am full of crap.
434
00:20:10,321 --> 00:20:12,155
I knew you were, Dad.
435
00:20:13,791 --> 00:20:15,659
I always knew!
436
00:20:17,462 --> 00:20:21,665
Well, for one brief, glorious
moment, I was almost president,
437
00:20:21,733 --> 00:20:23,300
sort of, not really.
438
00:20:23,368 --> 00:20:25,769
Now, let me just play a sweet
song that I'll never hear.
439
00:20:25,837 --> 00:20:28,038
♪ Hail to me ♪
440
00:20:28,106 --> 00:20:30,173
♪ I'm the presidential gonzo ♪
441
00:20:30,241 --> 00:20:33,227
♪ Hunt with a bow 'cause
it's silent like the night ♪
442
00:20:33,294 --> 00:20:36,430
♪ Eat mooses raw so their souls
go into my soul ♪
443
00:20:36,514 --> 00:20:38,949
♪ I'll move the White House
to Kalamazoo. ♪
444
00:20:39,017 --> 00:20:43,017
= sync, corrected by elderman =
Sync for 720p.web-dl.ctrlHD by sn655321
445
00:20:46,090 --> 00:20:50,861
♪ There is a new national anthem
that is sweeping the land ♪
446
00:20:50,929 --> 00:20:53,697
♪ And it was written by me ♪
447
00:20:53,765 --> 00:20:57,768
♪ And it popped into my head
while I was washing my dog ♪
448
00:20:57,835 --> 00:21:00,337
♪ Suck on that,
Francis Scott Key ♪
449
00:21:00,405 --> 00:21:05,008
♪ Oh, I got a good song fever ♪
450
00:21:05,076 --> 00:21:06,877
♪ Ted Nugent fever ♪
♪ Something, something fever ♪
451
00:21:06,945 --> 00:21:08,078
Sing it, Homer!
452
00:21:08,146 --> 00:21:11,348
♪ I got this song fever ♪
453
00:21:11,416 --> 00:21:17,521
♪ We got America fever ♪
454
00:21:17,588 --> 00:21:20,857
♪ U.S. of A! ♪
♪ U.S. of A. ♪
455
00:21:20,925 --> 00:21:23,560
Great song, Ted!
456
00:21:23,628 --> 00:21:24,561
When's our next gig?
457
00:21:24,629 --> 00:21:26,129
Are we going to New York or...?
458
00:21:26,197 --> 00:21:27,597
Shh!
459
00:21:27,665 --> 00:21:29,349
Oh...