1
00:00:01,368 --> 00:00:02,767
I'm calling your cell phone.
We're going to find it.

2
00:00:02,836 --> 00:00:04,394
Okay, I'm telling you...
Shh. Listen for it.

3
00:00:04,471 --> 00:00:05,597
Okay. But it's
probably the...

4
00:00:05,672 --> 00:00:07,503
Shh. Be quiet for at least,
just, like, 10 seconds.

5
00:00:12,512 --> 00:00:13,604
I think it's on silent.

6
00:00:13,747 --> 00:00:15,009
Hey, Whit's phone.

7
00:00:15,081 --> 00:00:18,983
I don't know if you
ran away or if you just
slid off her greasy face.

8
00:00:19,052 --> 00:00:20,849
(LAUGHlNG)
But, uh...

9
00:00:25,859 --> 00:00:27,087
Hopefully,
wherever you are,

10
00:00:27,160 --> 00:00:29,628
you're happy
and you found a towel.

11
00:00:30,697 --> 00:00:31,994
Okay, bye.

12
00:00:32,165 --> 00:00:34,599
That is the first
voicemail of yours
I've ever listened to.

13
00:00:34,701 --> 00:00:35,895
Mmm.

14
00:00:35,969 --> 00:00:37,493
Okay, I'm going to
call Lily from your phone.

15
00:00:37,570 --> 00:00:39,561
Wait. You have a password
on your phone?

16
00:00:39,873 --> 00:00:41,033
Yeah.

17
00:00:41,441 --> 00:00:43,534
Passwords
are kind of sketchy.

18
00:00:43,643 --> 00:00:44,974
They're not sketchy.

19
00:00:45,045 --> 00:00:46,444
And Mark loves
to steal my phone

20
00:00:46,513 --> 00:00:49,243
and send dirty texts
to random contacts.

21
00:00:49,382 --> 00:00:51,145
And now, my Aunt Cheryl
thinks I want to tap that.

22
00:00:53,086 --> 00:00:54,519
I don't have a password
on my phone.

23
00:00:54,687 --> 00:00:56,621
I know. And now, there's
a random guy out there

24
00:00:56,689 --> 00:00:59,180
Iooking at pictures of us
that we should not have taken.

25
00:01:00,360 --> 00:01:02,123
Besides, it's my phone.
It's, like, my thing.

26
00:01:02,295 --> 00:01:03,455
Your thing?

27
00:01:03,563 --> 00:01:05,929
Yeah. I have my things.
You have your things.

28
00:01:05,999 --> 00:01:07,296
And that's my thing.

29
00:01:08,401 --> 00:01:09,891
Okay. We live together.
Okay?
(TURNS ON TV)

30
00:01:09,969 --> 00:01:13,200
There's no "your things"
and "my things."
There's "our things."

31
00:01:13,273 --> 00:01:15,468
Right? I bought
that table. Our table.

32
00:01:15,575 --> 00:01:17,270
You bought the bed.
That's our bed.

33
00:01:17,343 --> 00:01:19,777
I left cake out
on the counter.
We got a mouse.

34
00:01:21,915 --> 00:01:23,109
Hey. What did I miss?

35
00:01:23,750 --> 00:01:26,014
Alex has a password
on his phone.

36
00:01:27,020 --> 00:01:28,487
I meant the hockey game,
but keep going.

37
00:01:29,556 --> 00:01:31,854
Either way,
I'm seeing a fight.

38
00:01:32,792 --> 00:01:33,986
It's messed up,
though, right?

39
00:01:34,060 --> 00:01:35,857
We should not
be keeping things
from each other.

40
00:01:36,129 --> 00:01:39,030
You're Alex's woman.
He has a right to
keep things from you.

41
00:01:40,333 --> 00:01:41,823
But we're not
sleeping together.

44
00:01:49,175 --> 00:01:50,904
Oh, you know what?
(TURNS OFF TV)

45
00:01:51,478 --> 00:01:53,139
I bet I know it.

46
00:01:53,213 --> 00:01:55,977
Whitney,
type in 23 and 45.

47
00:01:56,683 --> 00:01:58,617
Michael Jordan's numbers.
That's his password.

48
00:01:58,818 --> 00:02:00,217
No, it's not.

49
00:02:00,954 --> 00:02:02,717
Of course it's not.

50
00:02:03,723 --> 00:02:05,486
It's 9009.

51
00:02:07,093 --> 00:02:08,458
Why would it be 9009?

52
00:02:08,595 --> 00:02:10,563
It's "boob" upside down.

53
00:02:11,464 --> 00:02:12,453
No.

54
00:02:13,533 --> 00:02:15,125
I promise you...

55
00:02:15,735 --> 00:02:17,703
I will crack this code.

56
00:02:19,139 --> 00:02:20,538
I am a cop.

57
00:02:21,374 --> 00:02:22,898
I have nothing
better to do.

58
00:02:23,910 --> 00:02:25,207
(LAUGHS)

59
00:02:26,045 --> 00:02:28,673
WHlTNEY: Whitney is taped
in front of a live
studio audience.

60
00:02:28,748 --> 00:02:30,010
So...

61
00:02:30,450 --> 00:02:33,283
Well, I guess that's
the last of the boxes.

62
00:02:33,853 --> 00:02:35,616
It's official.
We live together.

63
00:02:37,590 --> 00:02:41,458
All right. I'm going to
go buy some duct tape
and a box cutter.

64
00:02:42,061 --> 00:02:45,861
And, just in case,
a shirt that says
"l Love America."

65
00:02:48,801 --> 00:02:50,063
Hey, Neal.
Hey.

66
00:02:50,136 --> 00:02:51,228
Hi.

67
00:02:51,337 --> 00:02:55,171
Wow. Lil,
this place is amazing.

68
00:02:55,241 --> 00:02:58,904
Yeah, it's so
bricky and stairsy.

69
00:02:58,978 --> 00:03:01,173
And floory.

70
00:03:02,282 --> 00:03:06,742
Yeah. And the neighborhood
is so pawn shop-y
and prostitute-y.

71
00:03:08,188 --> 00:03:10,520
Hey. This is the next cool
neighborhood. All right?

72
00:03:10,590 --> 00:03:12,353
I know it's dangerous now,
but in a year,

73
00:03:12,425 --> 00:03:14,950
this is where everyone's
going to live.

74
00:03:15,028 --> 00:03:16,017
If we live.

75
00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:20,098
Man, you guys
have a lot of stuff.

76
00:03:20,166 --> 00:03:21,258
How much of this stuff
is Neal's

77
00:03:21,334 --> 00:03:22,392
and how much of it
is yours?

78
00:03:22,468 --> 00:03:24,163
Uh, I don't know.

79
00:03:24,370 --> 00:03:25,598
Now that we
live together,

80
00:03:25,672 --> 00:03:26,832
it's just kind
of all our stuff.

81
00:03:27,307 --> 00:03:28,899
That's interesting,
because Alex seems
to think

82
00:03:28,975 --> 00:03:32,138
there are certain things
that we should keep
separate from each other.

83
00:03:32,445 --> 00:03:33,503
That's crazy.

84
00:03:33,580 --> 00:03:36,242
A couple is supposed to
grow closer and closer
until they are one.

85
00:03:36,516 --> 00:03:38,108
Mmm, not in reality.

86
00:03:38,184 --> 00:03:39,651
Eventually, a couple gets
so sick of each other

87
00:03:39,719 --> 00:03:42,153
that they just make
a whole new person.

88
00:03:44,757 --> 00:03:46,247
Neal and l
share everything.

89
00:03:46,426 --> 00:03:47,916
Mmm, you think you do,

90
00:03:47,994 --> 00:03:49,461
but you guys haven't
lived together yet.

91
00:03:49,529 --> 00:03:51,759
I mean, I'm sure
there are things

92
00:03:51,831 --> 00:03:54,163
you've saved for the times
when you weren't together.

93
00:03:54,300 --> 00:03:56,530
You know, private things.

94
00:03:57,937 --> 00:04:00,337
Things that bears do
in the woods.

95
00:04:02,208 --> 00:04:04,574
Yeah, but that stuff
is not going to be
an issue with us.

96
00:04:04,644 --> 00:04:05,872
No, Roxanne is right.

97
00:04:05,945 --> 00:04:07,537
Guys want nothing to do
with the nasty stuff.

98
00:04:07,614 --> 00:04:10,549
And the few that do
would have already
asked for it.

99
00:04:12,385 --> 00:04:14,876
You know, I'm going to go
check if there's an echo
in the bathroom.

100
00:04:17,590 --> 00:04:19,683
Hey, did Lance ever have
a password on his phone?

101
00:04:19,859 --> 00:04:21,884
Um... I never checked.

102
00:04:22,095 --> 00:04:23,153
I have self-esteem.

103
00:04:23,396 --> 00:04:24,954
(CHUCKLES)

104
00:04:25,131 --> 00:04:26,598
Whit, couples
need their own stuff.

105
00:04:26,666 --> 00:04:28,224
They need their own friends.
Their own interests.

106
00:04:28,301 --> 00:04:29,734
Even when Lance and l
were together,

107
00:04:29,802 --> 00:04:32,327
one night a week,
we would do our own thing.

108
00:04:32,538 --> 00:04:33,562
I like that.

109
00:04:33,673 --> 00:04:34,935
Maybe I'll give Alex
a night alone

110
00:04:35,008 --> 00:04:36,737
and I'll take myself
out on a little date.

111
00:04:36,809 --> 00:04:37,833
Yeah.
You know?

112
00:04:37,910 --> 00:04:38,899
But I'm going to
dress slutty

113
00:04:38,978 --> 00:04:40,741
so I don't have
to be interesting.
(LAUGHS)

114
00:04:42,048 --> 00:04:43,515
LlLY: Hello!

115
00:04:44,951 --> 00:04:46,009
Nope. No echo.

116
00:04:47,787 --> 00:04:49,914
(YELLlNG) No! Echo!

117
00:04:51,157 --> 00:04:53,751
Oh, God. It's like
I'm at the bottom
of a canyon in here.

118
00:04:53,826 --> 00:04:55,088
(LAUGHS)

119
00:05:07,607 --> 00:05:10,075
Happy first night
in the apartment.

120
00:05:11,411 --> 00:05:12,776
You, too.

121
00:05:13,813 --> 00:05:15,440
I never knew
you wore a mouth guard.

122
00:05:18,151 --> 00:05:19,482
I don't.

123
00:05:19,552 --> 00:05:21,645
Uh, l... I don't know
whose this is.

124
00:05:23,022 --> 00:05:27,584
Just found it here
and for some reason
put it in my mouth.

125
00:05:29,896 --> 00:05:30,920
Sorry.

126
00:05:31,230 --> 00:05:33,164
And I'll see you
in bed.

127
00:05:39,405 --> 00:05:40,463
Well, me...

128
00:05:40,540 --> 00:05:41,666
(SlGHS)

129
00:05:42,208 --> 00:05:44,301
I had a good time
tonight. But...

130
00:05:44,977 --> 00:05:48,640
I'm just not looking
for something serious
right now. So...

131
00:05:50,750 --> 00:05:52,342
Hey, Alex, do you
have the laptop?

132
00:05:52,919 --> 00:05:54,443
Ah! Get out!

133
00:05:54,921 --> 00:05:56,183
Oh, my God.

134
00:05:58,825 --> 00:06:00,019
Oh, my God.

135
00:06:00,660 --> 00:06:01,922
You know what?
Keep the laptop.

136
00:06:01,994 --> 00:06:03,928
Just keep it forever.

137
00:06:19,846 --> 00:06:21,143
So, you don't knock?

138
00:06:22,682 --> 00:06:24,843
Not on my own
bedroom door.

139
00:06:25,685 --> 00:06:27,585
You were supposed to
be out on a date
with yourself.

140
00:06:29,655 --> 00:06:32,215
It ended early.
She talked too much.

141
00:06:35,661 --> 00:06:36,889
What...

142
00:06:37,263 --> 00:06:39,060
Do you do that
every time I go out?

143
00:06:39,132 --> 00:06:40,861
No, you know what?
We're not talking
about this, okay?

144
00:06:40,933 --> 00:06:42,127
Ever.

145
00:06:42,568 --> 00:06:44,502
Okay, look. I...
I'm not freaked out. Okay?

146
00:06:44,570 --> 00:06:46,629
It's not like
you're cheating on me
or anything.

147
00:06:46,739 --> 00:06:48,172
Whit, I've been doing
that since I was 13.

148
00:06:48,241 --> 00:06:51,233
So, if anything,
I'm cheating
on that with you.

149
00:06:53,546 --> 00:06:55,980
Well, at least, for me,
you take your socks off.

150
00:06:56,115 --> 00:06:57,412
Oh, God.

151
00:06:59,352 --> 00:07:00,944
Look. I'm sorry.

152
00:07:01,020 --> 00:07:05,013
Okay, it's fine.
It is a totally healthy
and normal thing to do.

153
00:07:05,091 --> 00:07:08,288
Normal and healthy?
Why don't you just
punch me in the face?

154
00:07:10,696 --> 00:07:12,596
I'm sorry. Do...
Do you maybe want
to wash your hands?

155
00:07:12,665 --> 00:07:14,064
Stop!
(GASPS)

156
00:07:19,539 --> 00:07:20,733
What is going on, buddy?
You can tell me.

157
00:07:20,807 --> 00:07:22,240
Something with
your family?

158
00:07:22,475 --> 00:07:24,238
Whatever it is, l...
I'm here.

159
00:07:25,745 --> 00:07:27,212
I got caught.

160
00:07:30,950 --> 00:07:33,009
Enjoying my own company.

161
00:07:35,421 --> 00:07:39,448
Oh, no. No, no, no,
no, no, no, no.

162
00:07:39,926 --> 00:07:41,655
Oh. You got caught?

163
00:07:43,329 --> 00:07:44,557
By whom?

164
00:07:46,666 --> 00:07:47,997
Whom?

165
00:07:48,067 --> 00:07:49,432
Can you not use
proper English?

166
00:07:49,502 --> 00:07:51,129
Somehow, it makes me
feel worse about this.
Okay?

167
00:07:52,638 --> 00:07:53,900
Whitney.
She walked in on me.

168
00:07:54,140 --> 00:07:56,836
(EXHALES)
The walk-in is the worst.

169
00:07:58,077 --> 00:08:01,171
Okay. Uh...
What are we talking
about here?

170
00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:03,839
Where did she catch
Colonel Mustard?

171
00:08:06,519 --> 00:08:08,384
In the bedroom
with the laptop.

172
00:08:08,921 --> 00:08:10,752
Bedroom?
How intimate.

173
00:08:12,725 --> 00:08:14,659
I always pictured you
as a couch guy.

174
00:08:16,295 --> 00:08:17,523
Pictured me?

175
00:08:22,268 --> 00:08:25,066
Okay, my advice.
You're going to have
to lay low for a while.

176
00:08:25,137 --> 00:08:29,301
No web stuff.
Unplug and go acoustic,
Eric Slapton style.

177
00:08:33,112 --> 00:08:35,512
Mark, I'm not worried
about how I'm going
to do it in the future.

178
00:08:35,581 --> 00:08:38,846
I'm... I'm worried about
how awkward it is now.

179
00:08:39,685 --> 00:08:41,312
I know. I know.

180
00:08:42,388 --> 00:08:45,448
I had a similar incident
at the Academy. Um...

181
00:08:45,992 --> 00:08:48,085
In an interrogation room.

182
00:08:48,928 --> 00:08:50,327
And what I learned is,

183
00:08:50,396 --> 00:08:51,693
you cannot undo
what's been done.

184
00:08:51,764 --> 00:08:53,789
You've just
got to own it.

185
00:08:54,133 --> 00:08:56,795
And any time
you see a mirror,
assume it's two-way.

186
00:09:14,287 --> 00:09:17,654
Hey, uh, are you
planning on going out
anytime soon, or...

187
00:09:17,957 --> 00:09:19,185
(CELL PHONE BUZZlNG)

188
00:09:19,258 --> 00:09:22,591
Oh, I'm sorry, Lil.
I've got to take this.
It's a work call.

189
00:09:22,662 --> 00:09:24,653
Hey, guys.
Are we all on?

190
00:09:35,508 --> 00:09:36,975
I think it's
really important...
Damn it.

191
00:09:37,043 --> 00:09:38,271
...that we move on this
one quickly. It's...

192
00:09:49,822 --> 00:09:51,084
(WHlSPERS) Neal.

193
00:09:51,357 --> 00:09:53,086
Yeah, Lil?
I'm still on a call.

194
00:09:53,159 --> 00:09:54,421
Nothing.

195
00:10:09,008 --> 00:10:10,339
(SNEEZES)

196
00:10:10,509 --> 00:10:11,601
Bless you.

197
00:10:11,811 --> 00:10:12,937
God!

198
00:10:19,685 --> 00:10:20,879
(EXHALES)

199
00:10:21,187 --> 00:10:23,348
Everything
go okay in there?
I heard screaming.

200
00:10:23,956 --> 00:10:26,186
I was just waxing
my mustache.

201
00:10:28,361 --> 00:10:32,058
And you didn't do that
in the bathroom you share
with your fiancé. Why?

202
00:10:32,231 --> 00:10:33,926
Because you were right.

203
00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:37,333
There are some things
I don't want him
to see or hear.

204
00:10:37,403 --> 00:10:39,735
I've been doing
everything in there.

205
00:10:39,839 --> 00:10:41,363
Everything.

206
00:10:42,408 --> 00:10:43,534
Oh, shalom.

207
00:10:43,609 --> 00:10:44,871
Hey, Whit.
Hi.

208
00:10:44,944 --> 00:10:47,879
How was your date
with yourself?
Are you going to call you?

209
00:10:48,414 --> 00:10:49,711
No.

210
00:10:49,782 --> 00:10:53,047
But I did walk in on Alex
"you-know-what-sturbating."

211
00:10:53,119 --> 00:10:54,450
What? No.

212
00:10:56,489 --> 00:10:58,980
Yeah. He's totally
freaked out.

213
00:10:59,725 --> 00:11:00,919
Whoa. Where did
you catch him?

214
00:11:01,127 --> 00:11:03,186
In the bedroom.
Above the covers.

215
00:11:03,295 --> 00:11:05,388
(GASPS) Oh, no.
Mmm-hmm.

216
00:11:05,931 --> 00:11:07,398
The look on his face...

217
00:11:07,466 --> 00:11:10,458
He looked like
he was killing someone
and liked it.

218
00:11:12,304 --> 00:11:13,601
(GRUNTlNG)

219
00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:15,766
No, no, no,
no, no, no.

220
00:11:17,943 --> 00:11:19,433
(SPEAKlNG lNDlSTlNCTLY)

221
00:11:20,846 --> 00:11:22,541
(LAUGHlNG)

222
00:11:22,615 --> 00:11:26,449
And the rest is just
a blur of chest hair
and shame.

223
00:11:26,719 --> 00:11:27,743
All right, see?

224
00:11:27,820 --> 00:11:30,084
Lil, this is what happens
when you live with a man.

225
00:11:30,156 --> 00:11:32,590
I mean, unless
great pains are taken,

226
00:11:32,658 --> 00:11:34,250
you will see things
you can never un-see.

227
00:11:35,294 --> 00:11:37,125
Above the covers?
Mmm-hmm.

228
00:11:37,663 --> 00:11:39,927
Ugh. That is going
to haunt me.

229
00:11:41,534 --> 00:11:43,832
Were his toes
pointed or curled?

230
00:11:47,073 --> 00:11:49,098
I don't know.
He was wearing socks.

231
00:11:49,208 --> 00:11:51,870
God, they really do
just take them off
for us, huh?

232
00:11:53,779 --> 00:11:55,041
Just brace yourself,
woman.

233
00:11:55,114 --> 00:11:57,207
This is going to
happen to you. Okay?

234
00:11:57,283 --> 00:12:01,310
I caught Lance so much
that he couldn't finish
unless I walked in.

235
00:12:10,896 --> 00:12:11,988
Alex?

236
00:12:20,873 --> 00:12:21,862
I'm coming in.

237
00:12:26,479 --> 00:12:28,071
Unless this
isn't a good time.

238
00:12:29,448 --> 00:12:31,678
In which case,
just say the word.

239
00:12:32,251 --> 00:12:34,845
Okay, I'm putting
the key in the door.

240
00:12:35,755 --> 00:12:37,586
I'm turning the knob.

241
00:12:38,457 --> 00:12:40,482
Are you turning the knob?

242
00:12:47,333 --> 00:12:49,028
Alex, come on.
Not on the bike.

243
00:12:55,241 --> 00:12:57,209
What? For real?
Seriously?

244
00:12:57,276 --> 00:12:58,402
You really thought
that's what I was doing?

245
00:12:58,477 --> 00:12:59,967
Here, with all
my clothes on?

246
00:13:01,013 --> 00:13:03,106
I don't know
how you do it.

247
00:13:03,582 --> 00:13:05,379
Well, you kind of do.

248
00:13:07,920 --> 00:13:10,753
Look, I'm sorry
I made such a big deal
about it. All right?

249
00:13:10,823 --> 00:13:12,120
I was just...
I was embarrassed.

250
00:13:12,191 --> 00:13:14,819
And I know you walked in
on me by accident.

251
00:13:15,060 --> 00:13:16,357
So, we're good?

252
00:13:16,629 --> 00:13:17,857
Yeah, we're good.

253
00:13:18,197 --> 00:13:19,289
All right?

254
00:13:19,465 --> 00:13:21,262
Although we should
probably come up
with some sort of signal.

255
00:13:21,333 --> 00:13:25,326
Like, if I'm alone
that's probably
what I'm doing.

256
00:13:27,840 --> 00:13:29,569
(KNOCKlNG AT DOOR)

257
00:13:33,779 --> 00:13:35,406
Hey. Lily told me
to come over

258
00:13:35,481 --> 00:13:38,279
and get a tablecloth
for the housewarming party.

259
00:13:38,350 --> 00:13:39,783
Because it is
so important

260
00:13:39,852 --> 00:13:43,288
that we impress
our best friends
who we see every day.

261
00:13:43,789 --> 00:13:45,620
(LAUGHS) I'll get it.

262
00:13:46,559 --> 00:13:48,857
So, uh...
How are things going?

263
00:13:48,961 --> 00:13:50,121
Things seem better here.

264
00:13:50,229 --> 00:13:52,254
Good. Yeah.
Wait, better?

265
00:13:52,398 --> 00:13:54,889
Yeah. Lil told me
you got caught

266
00:13:54,967 --> 00:13:56,025
and things were a little
tense around here?

267
00:14:03,576 --> 00:14:04,873
You told Lily?

268
00:14:05,244 --> 00:14:06,404
No.

269
00:14:06,779 --> 00:14:09,407
She was just there
when I told Roxanne.

270
00:14:12,318 --> 00:14:15,116
Yeah, this is about
the level of tension
I was expecting.

271
00:14:19,191 --> 00:14:20,283
So, uh...

272
00:14:20,426 --> 00:14:23,327
I will see one or both
of you guys tonight.

273
00:14:26,165 --> 00:14:27,291
I can't believe
you told everybody.

274
00:14:27,366 --> 00:14:30,062
Okay. I... I tell them
everything. Okay?

275
00:14:30,135 --> 00:14:32,126
And who cares?
Didn't you tell anybody?

276
00:14:32,238 --> 00:14:34,297
Yeah, I told Mark.
But I can tell
whoever I want.

277
00:14:34,373 --> 00:14:36,466
The victim gets to
tell the story.

278
00:14:38,544 --> 00:14:41,570
To be fair, you were
victimizing yourself.

279
00:14:43,515 --> 00:14:44,948
Look, they don't care.

280
00:14:45,084 --> 00:14:46,142
I do. All right?

281
00:14:46,252 --> 00:14:48,482
Walking in on me
was an accident.
But telling them wasn't.

282
00:14:48,554 --> 00:14:50,818
You chose to make
our thing their thing, too.

283
00:14:50,923 --> 00:14:53,721
Okay. So, some things,
I'm allowed to tell people,
and some things, I'm not?

284
00:14:53,859 --> 00:14:55,827
Yes. That's how
a relationship works.

285
00:14:57,229 --> 00:14:59,424
Okay. So, now,
I really feel bad
that I told your mom.

286
00:15:02,601 --> 00:15:03,693
You told my mom?

287
00:15:04,303 --> 00:15:06,066
Yeah, I figured
she could relate.

288
00:15:13,012 --> 00:15:14,502
We just, like,
shared stories.

289
00:15:14,580 --> 00:15:15,604
No!

290
00:15:17,516 --> 00:15:18,710
I'm kidding.

291
00:15:18,784 --> 00:15:22,845
But now, the whole
Lily-Roxanne thing doesn't
seem so bad, does it?

292
00:15:30,763 --> 00:15:32,993
It's nice to have
a little bit of a view.

293
00:15:33,198 --> 00:15:35,462
Look at those kids
playing tag.

294
00:15:35,534 --> 00:15:37,661
Oh, l... I hope that's tag
and not a hate crime.

295
00:15:39,004 --> 00:15:41,097
Either way.
I'm off duty.

296
00:15:43,075 --> 00:15:45,566
Lil, here.
I got you a little
housewarming present.

297
00:15:45,844 --> 00:15:46,936
What is this?

298
00:15:47,079 --> 00:15:49,547
A key to my apartment.
You know, until you
get comfortable.

299
00:15:50,349 --> 00:15:52,214
Aw, thank you.

300
00:15:52,551 --> 00:15:56,043
The mirror is
in a weird place, but...

301
00:15:57,122 --> 00:15:58,987
You'll get used to it.

302
00:16:03,062 --> 00:16:04,290
Hey, guys.

303
00:16:04,663 --> 00:16:05,994
Hey. Hi.

304
00:16:07,900 --> 00:16:09,231
Look, I know you all know.

305
00:16:09,301 --> 00:16:11,292
So, let's just
leave it at that.
All right?

306
00:16:14,006 --> 00:16:17,237
I thought by saying that,
it would make it
less awkward.

307
00:16:17,309 --> 00:16:18,606
I was wrong.

308
00:16:20,112 --> 00:16:21,101
Who cares?

309
00:16:21,180 --> 00:16:24,411
You got caught
doing something
that we all do.

310
00:16:26,251 --> 00:16:28,151
I masturbate.

311
00:16:31,290 --> 00:16:32,757
Roxanne?
What?

312
00:16:32,858 --> 00:16:35,418
Come on. I'm trying
to start a little
Spartacus thing here.

313
00:16:36,929 --> 00:16:38,362
Okay. Um...

314
00:16:40,299 --> 00:16:42,324
Mark masturbates.

315
00:16:48,674 --> 00:16:50,767
Hey, everybody.
Hello.

316
00:16:50,843 --> 00:16:52,071
Hey, Whit.
Come on in.

317
00:16:52,177 --> 00:16:53,508
We're all sharing
private habits

318
00:16:53,579 --> 00:16:55,706
and it's fun
and very party-like.

319
00:16:56,382 --> 00:16:59,044
Oh. Well, I actually
brought something
for us to do.

320
00:16:59,351 --> 00:17:00,511
Yeah?

321
00:17:00,686 --> 00:17:03,246
This is a box
of all of my most
embarrassing stuff.

322
00:17:03,322 --> 00:17:06,189
Old diaries, yearbooks...
You name it.

323
00:17:06,258 --> 00:17:08,158
So... Dig in.

324
00:17:10,162 --> 00:17:12,426
Seriously.
Just have at it.

325
00:17:17,202 --> 00:17:18,396
Whit, you don't
have to do this.

326
00:17:18,470 --> 00:17:19,630
No, I do.

327
00:17:19,705 --> 00:17:21,832
I feel bad and I want
to even the score.

328
00:17:22,141 --> 00:17:23,574
Ooh, first page.

329
00:17:23,842 --> 00:17:25,810
"Dear Diary,
it's been two weeks.

330
00:17:26,045 --> 00:17:27,876
"When is my other boob
going to come in?

331
00:17:28,213 --> 00:17:29,407
"What the fart?"

332
00:17:29,515 --> 00:17:30,914
(ALL LAUGHlNG)

333
00:17:30,983 --> 00:17:33,110
Okay, okay. Wait.
I have a good one.

334
00:17:33,185 --> 00:17:35,016
"First French kiss today.

335
00:17:35,087 --> 00:17:36,520
"l wish I hadn't
done the accent."

336
00:17:38,724 --> 00:17:40,089
Oh, my.

337
00:17:40,259 --> 00:17:41,521
What do we have here?

338
00:17:41,593 --> 00:17:42,719
What is that?

339
00:17:43,128 --> 00:17:44,652
Oh, no, no.
I didn't realize
that was in there.

340
00:17:44,797 --> 00:17:46,822
It's a little
art house film called...

341
00:17:46,899 --> 00:17:49,265
"Spring Break Babes
of Bourbon Street. "

342
00:17:49,435 --> 00:17:50,459
No way.

343
00:17:50,536 --> 00:17:51,730
Okay. I will
have you know,

344
00:17:51,804 --> 00:17:53,965
I was very drunk
and in desperate
need of attention.

345
00:17:54,039 --> 00:17:55,529
I mean, beads.

346
00:17:56,608 --> 00:17:57,768
So, wait, Whit.

347
00:17:57,843 --> 00:17:59,777
You went to New Orleans
on spring break?

348
00:18:00,012 --> 00:18:01,274
No, I was actually
there for a funeral.

349
00:18:02,548 --> 00:18:04,709
Okay, there's nothing
about this I'm proud of.

350
00:18:08,921 --> 00:18:10,479
CAMERAMAN:
Where are you girls from?

351
00:18:10,556 --> 00:18:12,581
Miami.
Chicago!

352
00:18:12,825 --> 00:18:15,191
All right. I got beads
to give away.

353
00:18:15,260 --> 00:18:16,591
WHlTNEY: Whoo!

354
00:18:18,030 --> 00:18:20,328
That rectangle tells me
all I need to know.

355
00:18:22,901 --> 00:18:25,392
No, wait. Come back.
I want some beads.

356
00:18:25,471 --> 00:18:27,063
Let me show you mine.

357
00:18:27,172 --> 00:18:28,503
CAMERAMAN:
We already
got her, so...

358
00:18:28,674 --> 00:18:30,232
Come on. Whoo!

359
00:18:33,912 --> 00:18:36,005
It's like they
underlined your neck.

360
00:18:38,350 --> 00:18:39,817
This is even more
embarrassing

361
00:18:39,885 --> 00:18:43,514
than when my dad
told me about this DVD
in the first place.

362
00:18:46,558 --> 00:18:48,788
Look. Whit, I appreciate
what you're trying
to do here.

363
00:18:48,861 --> 00:18:50,556
But all these
are just your things.

364
00:18:50,629 --> 00:18:52,153
And letting
everyone else in on them

365
00:18:52,231 --> 00:18:54,222
means you're
kind of missing
the point about us.

366
00:18:54,600 --> 00:18:55,897
No, it doesn't.

367
00:18:56,001 --> 00:18:59,562
Because this is the journal
I was keeping when I met you.

368
00:19:00,439 --> 00:19:02,839
And it's filled with all
of our most private things.

369
00:19:03,108 --> 00:19:04,666
So, I took it
out of the box

370
00:19:04,743 --> 00:19:06,438
because this is
just for me and you,

371
00:19:06,512 --> 00:19:07,740
and for nobody else.

372
00:19:07,946 --> 00:19:09,277
You are catching on.

373
00:19:09,348 --> 00:19:10,508
Hmm.

374
00:19:11,383 --> 00:19:14,443
But I think that
you have to share this
journal with me now.

375
00:19:14,520 --> 00:19:17,148
Oh, no.
It's kind of my thing.

376
00:19:17,422 --> 00:19:18,582
Ah.

377
00:19:19,958 --> 00:19:21,983
Okay. So, you want to
know my password?

378
00:19:22,327 --> 00:19:23,487
No, it's okay.

379
00:19:23,562 --> 00:19:25,120
You know,
it's the date we met.

380
00:19:26,598 --> 00:19:27,963
The night
of our first...

381
00:19:28,033 --> 00:19:30,228
Uh, well, everything.

382
00:19:32,004 --> 00:19:33,096
That's so sweet.

383
00:19:33,238 --> 00:19:35,263
Yeah. Here.
Give it a try.

384
00:19:35,774 --> 00:19:37,002
Oh. No.

385
00:19:37,176 --> 00:19:38,302
Yeah, why not?
Go for it.

386
00:19:38,744 --> 00:19:39,802
Yeah.

387
00:19:39,878 --> 00:19:41,368
Come on. Ah...

388
00:19:47,953 --> 00:19:50,421
Yeah. You don't really
know the date, do you?

389
00:19:50,689 --> 00:19:52,714
Of course
I know the date.

390
00:19:52,791 --> 00:19:54,315
Oh, okay.
If they...

391
00:19:57,162 --> 00:19:58,390
Hey.
Huh.

392
00:19:58,463 --> 00:20:00,124
Give me that.
This is not open book.

393
00:20:00,566 --> 00:20:02,227
July 11th, 2008.

394
00:20:02,401 --> 00:20:03,595
Opening day
of Hellboy II.

395
00:20:03,669 --> 00:20:06,763
We saw it, went drinking,
and ran into this guy.

396
00:20:07,239 --> 00:20:09,070
7-11-8.

397
00:20:10,375 --> 00:20:11,967
I cannot believe
you remember that.

398
00:20:12,144 --> 00:20:15,272
Yeah. And if I had
thrown a rock
instead of paper,

399
00:20:15,347 --> 00:20:16,974
you could have
walked in on me.

400
00:20:17,082 --> 00:20:18,913
You know,
cleaning my own gun.

401
00:20:22,521 --> 00:20:24,045
Sliding doors.