1
00:00:00,792 --> 00:00:02,322
I'm calling your cell phone,
we're gonna find it.

2
00:00:02,447 --> 00:00:04,088
- Okay, I'm telling you...
- Shh, listen for it.

3
00:00:04,254 --> 00:00:05,381
Okay, but it's probably...

4
00:00:05,547 --> 00:00:08,347
Quiet... for at least,
just, like, ten seconds.

5
00:00:12,181 --> 00:00:13,347
I think it's on silent.

6
00:00:13,582 --> 00:00:16,260
Hey, Whit's phone,
uh, I don't know if you ran away

7
00:00:16,385 --> 00:00:18,727
or if you just
slid off her greasy face

8
00:00:18,893 --> 00:00:19,822
but, uh...

9
00:00:25,527 --> 00:00:27,337
Hopefully wherever you are
you're happy

10
00:00:27,462 --> 00:00:30,240
and you found a towel.

11
00:00:30,365 --> 00:00:31,866
Okay, bye.

12
00:00:32,032 --> 00:00:34,326
That is the first voicemail
of yours I've ever listened to.

13
00:00:34,492 --> 00:00:35,545
Mm.

14
00:00:35,670 --> 00:00:37,121
Okay, I'm gonna
call Lily from your phone.

15
00:00:37,287 --> 00:00:39,290
Wait, you have
a password on your phone?

16
00:00:39,456 --> 00:00:40,882
Yeah.

17
00:00:41,007 --> 00:00:43,294
Passwords are kinda sketchy.

18
00:00:43,460 --> 00:00:44,670
They're not sketchy,

19
00:00:44,836 --> 00:00:46,868
and mark loves to steal my phone
and send dirty texts

20
00:00:46,993 --> 00:00:48,443
to random contacts.

21
00:00:48,961 --> 00:00:50,885
And now my aunt Cheryl
thinks I wanna tap that.

22
00:00:52,686 --> 00:00:54,388
I don't have a password on my phone.

23
00:00:54,554 --> 00:00:55,896
I know, and now
there's a random guy out there

24
00:00:56,021 --> 00:00:59,018
looking at pictures of us
that we should not have taken.

25
00:00:59,849 --> 00:01:01,854
Besides, it's my phone.
It's like my thing.

26
00:01:02,020 --> 00:01:03,105
Your thing?

27
00:01:03,271 --> 00:01:05,240
Yeah, I have my things,
you have your things

28
00:01:05,365 --> 00:01:07,026
and that's my thing.

29
00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:09,612
Wait, we live together, okay?

30
00:01:09,778 --> 00:01:11,211
There's no your things and my things.

31
00:01:11,336 --> 00:01:13,213
There's our things, right?

32
00:01:13,338 --> 00:01:15,048
I bought that table, our table.

33
00:01:15,173 --> 00:01:16,783
You bought the bed, that's our bed.

34
00:01:16,908 --> 00:01:19,580
I left cake out on the counter,
we got a mouse.

35
00:01:21,873 --> 00:01:22,791
Hey, what'd I miss?

36
00:01:23,342 --> 00:01:25,794
Alex has a password on his phone.

37
00:01:26,584 --> 00:01:28,255
I meant the hockey game
but keep going.

38
00:01:29,052 --> 00:01:29,928
Either way...

39
00:01:30,053 --> 00:01:32,509
I'm seeing a fight.

40
00:01:32,675 --> 00:01:33,599
It's messed up though, right?

41
00:01:33,724 --> 00:01:35,429
We should not be keeping
things from each other.

44
00:01:39,464 --> 00:01:41,506
But we're not sleeping together.

45
00:01:41,631 --> 00:01:43,527
You have no reason to lie to me.

46
00:01:46,369 --> 00:01:47,879
Yeah, I'm not
giving either of you two

47
00:01:48,004 --> 00:01:48,880
my password.

48
00:01:49,005 --> 00:01:51,048
Ah, you know what?

49
00:01:51,173 --> 00:01:52,684
I bet I know it.

50
00:01:52,809 --> 00:01:56,187
Whitney, type in 23 and 45.

51
00:01:56,312 --> 00:01:58,369
Michael Jordan's numbers,
that's his password.

52
00:01:58,535 --> 00:01:59,912
No, it's not.

53
00:02:00,582 --> 00:02:03,249
Of course it's not.

54
00:02:03,415 --> 00:02:06,794
It's 9-0-0-9.

55
00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:08,170
Why would it be 9-0-0-9?

56
00:02:08,336 --> 00:02:10,923
That's "boob" upside down.

57
00:02:12,340 --> 00:02:13,196
No.

58
00:02:13,321 --> 00:02:17,930
I promise you I will crack this code.

59
00:02:18,930 --> 00:02:20,843
I am a cop.

60
00:02:20,968 --> 00:02:23,613
I have nothing better to do.

61
00:02:25,864 --> 00:02:28,318
<i>Whitney is taped in front
of a live studio audience,</i>

62
00:02:28,443 --> 00:02:29,775
so...

63
00:02:29,941 --> 00:02:33,445
Well, I guess that's
the last of the boxes.

64
00:02:33,611 --> 00:02:35,424
It's official, we live together.

65
00:02:35,549 --> 00:02:37,157
Aah.

66
00:02:37,323 --> 00:02:38,527
All right, I'm gonna
go buy some duct tape

67
00:02:38,652 --> 00:02:39,528
and a box cutter.

68
00:02:39,653 --> 00:02:41,662
Okay.

69
00:02:41,828 --> 00:02:43,732
And just in case, a shirt that says

70
00:02:43,857 --> 00:02:48,268
"I love America."

71
00:02:48,393 --> 00:02:49,570
Hi, Neal.

72
00:02:49,695 --> 00:02:50,838
Hi.

73
00:02:50,963 --> 00:02:54,732
Wow, Lil, this place is amazing.

74
00:02:55,133 --> 00:02:58,446
Yeah, it's so bricky and stairsy

75
00:02:58,571 --> 00:03:02,014
and floory.

76
00:03:02,139 --> 00:03:04,651
Yeah, and the neighborhood
is so pawn shoppy

77
00:03:04,776 --> 00:03:06,586
and prostitutey.

78
00:03:06,711 --> 00:03:07,646
Okay.

79
00:03:08,045 --> 00:03:10,056
Hey, this is the next
cool neighborhood, all right?

80
00:03:10,181 --> 00:03:11,758
I know it's dangerous now,
but in a year

81
00:03:11,883 --> 00:03:14,728
this is where everyone's gonna live.

82
00:03:14,853 --> 00:03:15,821
If we live.

83
00:03:17,788 --> 00:03:19,950
Man, you guys have a lot of stuff.

84
00:03:20,116 --> 00:03:20,866
How much of this stuff is Neal's

85
00:03:20,991 --> 00:03:21,952
and how much of it is yours?

86
00:03:22,118 --> 00:03:23,935
Uh, I don't know.

87
00:03:24,060 --> 00:03:25,237
Now that we live together
it's just kinda

88
00:03:25,362 --> 00:03:26,498
all our stuff.

89
00:03:26,897 --> 00:03:28,407
That's interesting
'cause Alex seems to think

90
00:03:28,532 --> 00:03:30,308
there are certain things
that we should keep

91
00:03:30,433 --> 00:03:32,046
separate from each other.

92
00:03:32,212 --> 00:03:33,245
That's crazy.

93
00:03:33,370 --> 00:03:34,545
A couple is supposed
to grow closer and closer

94
00:03:34,670 --> 00:03:35,924
until they are one.

95
00:03:36,090 --> 00:03:37,715
Mm, not in reality.

96
00:03:37,840 --> 00:03:39,216
Eventually a couple
gets so sick of each other

97
00:03:39,341 --> 00:03:44,255
that they just
make a whole new person.

98
00:03:44,380 --> 00:03:46,018
Neal and I share everything.

99
00:03:46,184 --> 00:03:47,644
Mm, you think you do,

100
00:03:47,810 --> 00:03:49,293
but you guys haven't
lived together yet.

101
00:03:49,418 --> 00:03:52,161
I mean, I'm sure there
are things you've saved

102
00:03:52,286 --> 00:03:54,985
from the times when
you weren't together, you know.

103
00:03:55,151 --> 00:03:57,434
Private things.

104
00:03:57,559 --> 00:04:01,671
Things that bears do in the woods.

105
00:04:01,796 --> 00:04:04,073
Yeah, but that stuff's
not gonna be an issue with us.

106
00:04:04,198 --> 00:04:05,241
Oh, Roxanne's right.

107
00:04:05,366 --> 00:04:06,909
Guys want nothing to do
with the nasty stuff.

108
00:04:07,034 --> 00:04:11,814
And the few that do
would have already asked for it.

109
00:04:11,939 --> 00:04:13,616
You know, I'm gonna
go check if there's an echo

110
00:04:13,741 --> 00:04:15,188
in the bathroom.

111
00:04:17,210 --> 00:04:19,468
Hey, did Lance ever have
a password on his phone?

112
00:04:19,634 --> 00:04:21,720
Um, I never checked.

113
00:04:21,886 --> 00:04:22,971
I have self-esteem.

114
00:04:24,931 --> 00:04:26,093
Whit, couples need their own stuff.

115
00:04:26,218 --> 00:04:27,629
They need their own friends,
their own interests.

116
00:04:27,754 --> 00:04:28,996
Even when Lance and I were together,

117
00:04:29,121 --> 00:04:32,147
one night a week
we would do our own thing.

118
00:04:32,313 --> 00:04:33,200
I like that.

119
00:04:33,325 --> 00:04:34,536
Maybe I'll give Alex a night alone

120
00:04:34,661 --> 00:04:37,204
and I'll take myself out
on a little date, you know?

121
00:04:37,329 --> 00:04:41,508
But I'm gonna dress slutty so
I don't have to be interesting.

122
00:04:41,633 --> 00:04:44,511
Hello!

123
00:04:44,636 --> 00:04:47,247
Nope, no echo.

124
00:04:47,372 --> 00:04:48,582
No!

125
00:04:48,707 --> 00:04:50,884
Echo!

126
00:04:51,009 --> 00:04:51,885
Oh, God, it's like I'm at the bottom

127
00:04:52,010 --> 00:04:53,186
of a canyon in here.

128
00:05:07,224 --> 00:05:10,352
Happy first night at the apartment.

129
00:05:10,961 --> 00:05:13,304
You too.

130
00:05:13,429 --> 00:05:17,709
I never knew you wore a mouth guard.

131
00:05:17,834 --> 00:05:19,110
I don't.

132
00:05:19,235 --> 00:05:21,447
Uh, I don't know whose this is.

133
00:05:21,613 --> 00:05:26,316
Just found it here
and, uh, for some reason

134
00:05:26,441 --> 00:05:27,685
put it in my mouth.

135
00:05:27,952 --> 00:05:30,747
So, uh, anyway...

136
00:05:30,913 --> 00:05:31,989
And I'll see you...

137
00:05:32,114 --> 00:05:35,116
In bed.

138
00:05:39,088 --> 00:05:39,964
Well, me...

139
00:05:40,089 --> 00:05:41,531
Aah...

140
00:05:41,656 --> 00:05:45,034
Had a good time tonight,
but I'm just not looking

141
00:05:45,159 --> 00:05:47,613
for something serious
right now, so...

142
00:05:50,309 --> 00:05:51,935
Hey, Alex, do you have the laptop?

143
00:05:52,533 --> 00:05:54,521
Aah!
Get out!

144
00:05:54,687 --> 00:05:58,414
Oh!

145
00:05:58,539 --> 00:06:00,182
Oh, my God.

146
00:06:00,307 --> 00:06:01,250
You know what?
Keep the laptop.

147
00:06:01,375 --> 00:06:03,943
Just keep it forever.

148
00:06:19,578 --> 00:06:20,913
So you don't knock?

149
00:06:22,513 --> 00:06:25,324
Not on my own bedroom door.

150
00:06:25,449 --> 00:06:28,599
You were supposed to be
out on a date with yourself.

151
00:06:29,420 --> 00:06:32,422
It ended early, she talked too much.

152
00:06:36,161 --> 00:06:38,764
Wha... do you do that
every time I go out?

153
00:06:38,930 --> 00:06:40,205
No, you know what, we're
not talking about this, okay?

154
00:06:40,330 --> 00:06:42,184
Ever.

155
00:06:42,350 --> 00:06:43,909
Okay, look,
I'm not freaked out, okay?

156
00:06:44,034 --> 00:06:46,439
It's not like you're
cheating on me or anything.

157
00:06:46,605 --> 00:06:47,780
Whit, I've been doing that
since I was 13,

158
00:06:47,905 --> 00:06:53,118
so if anything
I'm cheating on that with you.

159
00:06:53,243 --> 00:06:55,865
Well, at least for me
you take your socks off.

160
00:06:56,031 --> 00:06:58,723
Oh, God.

161
00:06:58,848 --> 00:07:01,078
Look, I'm sorry, okay?

162
00:07:01,244 --> 00:07:03,895
It's fine, it is
a totally healthy and normal

163
00:07:04,020 --> 00:07:04,874
thing to do.

164
00:07:05,040 --> 00:07:06,097
Normal and healthy?

165
00:07:06,222 --> 00:07:10,366
Why don't you just
punch me in the face.

166
00:07:10,491 --> 00:07:12,169
I'm sorry, do you
maybe wanna wash your hands?

167
00:07:12,294 --> 00:07:15,426
Stop!

168
00:07:19,387 --> 00:07:20,210
What is going on, buddy?
You can tell me.

169
00:07:20,335 --> 00:07:22,141
Something with your family?

170
00:07:22,307 --> 00:07:25,315
Whatever it is, I'm here.

171
00:07:25,440 --> 00:07:30,485
I got caught.

172
00:07:30,610 --> 00:07:35,024
Enjoying my own company.

173
00:07:35,149 --> 00:07:36,558
Oh, no.

174
00:07:36,683 --> 00:07:39,595
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

175
00:07:39,720 --> 00:07:41,285
Oh, you got caught?

176
00:07:42,788 --> 00:07:46,134
By whom?

177
00:07:46,259 --> 00:07:47,736
Whom?

178
00:07:47,861 --> 00:07:49,003
Dude, can you not use proper English?

179
00:07:49,128 --> 00:07:52,129
Somehow it makes me
feel worse about this, okay?

180
00:07:52,295 --> 00:07:53,672
Whitney, she walked in on me.

181
00:07:53,838 --> 00:07:57,678
Whew, the walk-in is the worst.

182
00:07:57,803 --> 00:08:00,888
Okay, uh, what are
we talking about here?

183
00:08:01,054 --> 00:08:06,086
Where did she catch Colonel Mustard?

184
00:08:06,211 --> 00:08:08,187
In the bedroom with the laptop.

185
00:08:08,353 --> 00:08:09,656
Bedroom?

186
00:08:09,781 --> 00:08:12,358
How intimate.

187
00:08:12,524 --> 00:08:15,962
I always pictured you as a couch guy.

188
00:08:16,087 --> 00:08:19,089
Pictured me?

189
00:08:21,821 --> 00:08:23,136
Okay, my advice.

190
00:08:23,261 --> 00:08:24,403
You're gonna
have to lay low for a while.

191
00:08:24,528 --> 00:08:27,140
No web stuff, unplug and go acoustic,

192
00:08:27,265 --> 00:08:29,454
Eric Slapton style.

193
00:08:32,835 --> 00:08:33,812
Mark, I'm not worried about

194
00:08:33,937 --> 00:08:36,414
how I'm gonna do it in the future.

195
00:08:36,539 --> 00:08:39,251
I'm worried about
how awkward it is now.

196
00:08:39,376 --> 00:08:41,953
I know, I know.

197
00:08:42,078 --> 00:08:44,355
I had a similar incident
at the academy.

198
00:08:44,480 --> 00:08:48,592
Um, in an interrogation room.

199
00:08:48,717 --> 00:08:49,994
And what I learned is,

200
00:08:50,119 --> 00:08:51,328
you cannot undo what's been done.

201
00:08:51,453 --> 00:08:55,232
You just gotta own it
and any time you see a mirror

202
00:08:55,357 --> 00:09:00,671
assume it's two-way.

203
00:09:13,975 --> 00:09:15,685
Hey, uh, are you
planning on going out

204
00:09:15,810 --> 00:09:17,590
any time soon, or...

205
00:09:18,812 --> 00:09:19,822
Oh, sorry, Lil, I gotta take this.

206
00:09:19,947 --> 00:09:21,821
It's a work call.

207
00:09:22,886 --> 00:09:24,436
Hey, guys, we all on?

208
00:09:35,294 --> 00:09:36,337
I think it's really important

209
00:09:36,462 --> 00:09:39,464
that we move on
this one quickly, it's...

210
00:09:49,976 --> 00:09:50,917
Neal.

211
00:09:51,042 --> 00:09:52,486
Yeah, Lil?
I'm still on a call.

212
00:09:52,611 --> 00:09:54,579
Nothing!

213
00:10:09,527 --> 00:10:11,928
Bless you.

214
00:10:20,819 --> 00:10:21,881
Everything go okay in there?

215
00:10:22,006 --> 00:10:23,072
I heard screaming.

216
00:10:23,238 --> 00:10:28,035
I was just waxing my moustache.

217
00:10:28,201 --> 00:10:30,021
And you didn't do that
in the bathroom you share

218
00:10:30,146 --> 00:10:31,789
with your fiance, why?

219
00:10:31,955 --> 00:10:33,558
'Cause you were right.

220
00:10:33,683 --> 00:10:37,095
There are some things
I don't want him to see or hear.

221
00:10:37,220 --> 00:10:39,463
I've been doing everything in there.

222
00:10:39,588 --> 00:10:42,065
<i>Everything.</i>

223
00:10:42,190 --> 00:10:44,718
- Oh, Shalom.
- Hey, Whit.

224
00:10:44,884 --> 00:10:45,836
How was your date with yourself?

225
00:10:45,961 --> 00:10:48,138
Are you gonna call you?

226
00:10:48,263 --> 00:10:49,473
No.

227
00:10:49,598 --> 00:10:52,810
But I did walk in on Alex
you-know-what-sturbating.

228
00:10:52,935 --> 00:10:56,078
What? No!

229
00:10:56,203 --> 00:10:59,316
Yeah.
He's totally freaked out.

230
00:10:59,482 --> 00:11:00,734
Whoa, where did you catch him?

231
00:11:00,900 --> 00:11:01,951
In the bedroom.

232
00:11:02,076 --> 00:11:02,945
Above the covers.

233
00:11:03,111 --> 00:11:04,353
Oh, no.

234
00:11:04,478 --> 00:11:05,447
Mm-hm.

235
00:11:05,613 --> 00:11:07,557
The look on his face... he looked like

236
00:11:07,682 --> 00:11:10,286
he was killing someone and liked it.

237
00:11:12,953 --> 00:11:17,042
- Oh!
- No, no, no, no, no.

238
00:11:22,362 --> 00:11:26,107
And the rest is just a blur
of chest hair and shame.

239
00:11:26,232 --> 00:11:27,480
All right, see?

240
00:11:27,605 --> 00:11:29,895
Lil, this is what happens
when you live with a man.

241
00:11:30,020 --> 00:11:32,413
I mean, unless great pains are taken,

242
00:11:32,538 --> 00:11:34,935
you will see things
you can never un-see.

243
00:11:35,101 --> 00:11:37,284
Above the covers?

244
00:11:37,409 --> 00:11:40,988
Oh!
That is gonna haunt me.

245
00:11:41,113 --> 00:11:46,822
Were his toes pointed or curled?

246
00:11:46,988 --> 00:11:48,907
I don't know, he was wearing socks.

247
00:11:49,073 --> 00:11:51,702
God, they really do
just take them off for us, huh?

248
00:11:51,868 --> 00:11:53,370
Yes.

249
00:11:53,536 --> 00:11:54,634
Just brace yourself, woman.

250
00:11:54,759 --> 00:11:56,870
This is gonna happen to you, okay?

251
00:11:56,995 --> 00:11:58,438
I caught Lance so much
that he couldn't finish

252
00:11:58,563 --> 00:12:01,253
unless I walked in.

253
00:12:10,975 --> 00:12:11,764
Alex?

254
00:12:20,617 --> 00:12:21,732
I'm coming in.

255
00:12:26,089 --> 00:12:27,863
Unless this isn't a good time.

256
00:12:29,191 --> 00:12:31,617
In which case, just say the word.

257
00:12:31,783 --> 00:12:35,171
Okay, I'm putting the key
in the door...

258
00:12:35,296 --> 00:12:38,041
I'm turning the knob.

259
00:12:38,166 --> 00:12:41,168
Are you turning the knob?

260
00:12:47,074 --> 00:12:48,884
Alex, come on, not on the bike.

261
00:12:55,049 --> 00:12:55,925
What?

262
00:12:56,050 --> 00:12:57,126
For real?
Seriously?

263
00:12:57,251 --> 00:12:58,160
You really thought
that's what I was doing?

264
00:12:58,285 --> 00:13:00,796
Here, with all my clothes on?

265
00:13:00,921 --> 00:13:03,357
I don't know how you do it.

266
00:13:03,523 --> 00:13:07,694
Well, you kinda do!

267
00:13:07,860 --> 00:13:10,438
Look, I'm sorry I made such
a big deal about it, all right?

268
00:13:10,563 --> 00:13:11,606
I was just... I was embarrassed

269
00:13:11,731 --> 00:13:14,701
and I know you
walked in on me by accident.

270
00:13:15,401 --> 00:13:17,704
- So we're good?
- Yeah, we're good.

271
00:13:17,870 --> 00:13:19,081
All right?

272
00:13:19,247 --> 00:13:20,347
Although we should
probably come up with

273
00:13:20,472 --> 00:13:23,483
some sort of signal
like, uh, if I'm alone...

274
00:13:23,608 --> 00:13:27,673
That's probably what I'm doing.

275
00:13:33,318 --> 00:13:34,471
Hey, uh, Lily told me

276
00:13:34,637 --> 00:13:36,306
to come over and get a tablecloth

277
00:13:36,472 --> 00:13:37,730
for the housewarming party.

278
00:13:37,855 --> 00:13:40,900
Because it is so important
that we impress our best friends

279
00:13:41,025 --> 00:13:43,355
who we see every day.

280
00:13:43,521 --> 00:13:46,005
I'll get it.

281
00:13:46,130 --> 00:13:48,675
So, uh, how are things going?

282
00:13:48,800 --> 00:13:49,820
Things seem better here.

283
00:13:49,986 --> 00:13:52,072
Good, yeah.
Wait, better?

284
00:13:52,238 --> 00:13:53,344
Yeah.

285
00:13:53,469 --> 00:13:54,658
Lil told me you got caught

286
00:13:54,824 --> 00:13:56,994
and things were
a little tense around here.

287
00:14:03,313 --> 00:14:04,626
You told Lily?

288
00:14:04,792 --> 00:14:06,458
No!

289
00:14:06,583 --> 00:14:09,584
She was just there
when I told Roxanne.

290
00:14:12,054 --> 00:14:14,970
Yeah, this is about the level
of tension I was expecting.

291
00:14:19,161 --> 00:14:22,936
So, uh, I will see
one or both of you guys tonight.

292
00:14:26,134 --> 00:14:27,110
I can't believe you told everybody.

293
00:14:27,235 --> 00:14:29,579
Okay, I tell them everything, okay?

294
00:14:29,704 --> 00:14:30,580
And who cares!

295
00:14:30,705 --> 00:14:31,904
Didn't you tell anybody?

296
00:14:32,070 --> 00:14:32,882
Yeah, I told mark.

297
00:14:33,007 --> 00:14:33,883
But I can tell whoever I want.

298
00:14:34,008 --> 00:14:38,088
The victim gets to tell the story.

299
00:14:38,213 --> 00:14:43,207
To be fair,
you were victimizing yourself.

300
00:14:43,373 --> 00:14:44,750
Look, they don't care.

301
00:14:44,916 --> 00:14:45,728
I do, all right?

302
00:14:45,853 --> 00:14:46,929
Walking in on me was an accident,

303
00:14:47,054 --> 00:14:48,063
but telling them wasn't.

304
00:14:48,188 --> 00:14:50,589
You chose to make our thing
their thing too.

305
00:14:50,755 --> 00:14:52,101
Okay, so some things
I'm allowed to tell people

306
00:14:52,226 --> 00:14:53,467
and some things I'm not?

307
00:14:53,633 --> 00:14:56,938
Yes! That's how a relationship works!

308
00:14:57,063 --> 00:15:02,243
Okay, so now I really
feel bad that I told your mom.

309
00:15:02,368 --> 00:15:04,078
You told my mom?

310
00:15:04,203 --> 00:15:07,381
Hey, I figured she could relate.

311
00:15:07,506 --> 00:15:10,508
You know?

312
00:15:12,978 --> 00:15:14,321
We just, like, shared stories...

313
00:15:14,487 --> 00:15:17,090
No!

314
00:15:17,215 --> 00:15:18,558
I'm kidding.

315
00:15:18,683 --> 00:15:20,869
But now the whole Lily-Roxanne
thing doesn't seem so bad,

316
00:15:21,035 --> 00:15:23,287
does it?

317
00:15:30,366 --> 00:15:32,402
It's nice to have
a little bit of a view.

318
00:15:32,527 --> 00:15:34,375
Look at those kids playing tag.

319
00:15:34,851 --> 00:15:37,126
Boy, I hope that's tag
and not a hate crime.

320
00:15:38,530 --> 00:15:40,630
Eh, either way, I'm off duty.

321
00:15:42,469 --> 00:15:43,412
Lil, here.

322
00:15:43,537 --> 00:15:45,092
Got you a little
housewarming present.

323
00:15:45,258 --> 00:15:46,381
What is this?

324
00:15:46,506 --> 00:15:47,382
Key to my apartment.

325
00:15:47,507 --> 00:15:49,054
You know, until you get comfortable.

326
00:15:49,710 --> 00:15:51,766
Oh, thank you.

327
00:15:51,932 --> 00:15:54,856
The mirror is in a weird place,

328
00:15:54,981 --> 00:15:58,116
but you'll get used to it.

329
00:16:02,521 --> 00:16:04,032
Hey, guys.

330
00:16:04,157 --> 00:16:05,299
- Hey.
- Hi.

331
00:16:05,424 --> 00:16:06,739
- Hi.
- Hi.

332
00:16:06,905 --> 00:16:09,837
Look, I know you all know,
so let's just leave it at that,

333
00:16:09,962 --> 00:16:13,287
all right?

334
00:16:13,453 --> 00:16:16,443
I thought by saying that
it would make it less awkward.

335
00:16:16,568 --> 00:16:19,345
I was wrong.

336
00:16:19,470 --> 00:16:20,513
Who cares!

337
00:16:20,638 --> 00:16:25,542
You got caught
doing something that we all do.

338
00:16:25,845 --> 00:16:27,927
I masturbate.

339
00:16:30,748 --> 00:16:32,181
- Roxanne?
- What.

340
00:16:32,347 --> 00:16:34,159
<i>Come on, I'm trying
to start a little Spartacus</i>

341
00:16:34,284 --> 00:16:36,352
thing here.

342
00:16:36,518 --> 00:16:39,599
Okay, um...

343
00:16:39,724 --> 00:16:42,107
Mark masturbates.

344
00:16:48,064 --> 00:16:50,241
- Hey, everybody.
- Hello.

345
00:16:50,366 --> 00:16:51,784
Hey, Whit, come on in.

346
00:16:51,950 --> 00:16:53,444
We're all sharing private habits

347
00:16:53,569 --> 00:16:55,329
and it's fun and very party-like.

348
00:16:55,495 --> 00:16:57,115
Oh, well,
I actually brought something

349
00:16:57,240 --> 00:16:58,666
for us to do.

350
00:16:58,832 --> 00:17:02,586
This is a box of all
of my most embarrassing stuff.

351
00:17:02,711 --> 00:17:05,455
Old diaries, yearbooks, you name it.

352
00:17:05,580 --> 00:17:09,510
So dig in.

353
00:17:09,676 --> 00:17:12,847
Seriously, just have at it.

354
00:17:16,599 --> 00:17:17,768
Whit, you don't have to do this.

355
00:17:17,934 --> 00:17:20,036
No, I do.
I feel bad.

356
00:17:20,161 --> 00:17:21,397
And I want to even the score.

357
00:17:21,563 --> 00:17:23,232
Ooh, first page.

358
00:17:23,398 --> 00:17:25,041
"Dear diary, it's been two weeks.

359
00:17:25,166 --> 00:17:27,744
"When is my other boob
going to come in?

360
00:17:27,869 --> 00:17:28,904
What the fart?"

361
00:17:30,471 --> 00:17:32,414
Okay, okay, wait,
wait, I have a good one.

362
00:17:32,539 --> 00:17:36,203
"First French kiss today.
Wish I hadn't done the accent."

363
00:17:36,369 --> 00:17:37,319
Oh!

364
00:17:37,444 --> 00:17:39,821
Oh, my.

365
00:17:39,946 --> 00:17:42,001
- What do we have here?
- What is that?

366
00:17:42,650 --> 00:17:44,253
Oh, no, no,
I didn't realize that was in there.

367
00:17:44,419 --> 00:17:46,128
It's a little art house film called

368
00:17:46,253 --> 00:17:48,924
<i>Spring Break Babes of Bourbon Street.</i>

369
00:17:49,090 --> 00:17:49,842
No way.

370
00:17:50,122 --> 00:17:51,666
Okay, I will have you know
I was very drunk

371
00:17:51,791 --> 00:17:54,610
and in desperate need
of attention... I mean, beads.

372
00:17:56,441 --> 00:17:59,351
So wait, Whit,
you went to New Orleans on spring break?

373
00:17:59,517 --> 00:18:01,520
No, I was actually there
for a funeral.

374
00:18:01,686 --> 00:18:04,315
Okay, there's nothing
about this I'm proud of.

375
00:18:08,273 --> 00:18:09,883
Where are you girls from?

376
00:18:10,008 --> 00:18:11,685
- Miami!
- Chicago!

377
00:18:11,810 --> 00:18:13,019
All right!

378
00:18:13,144 --> 00:18:14,921
I got beads to give away!

379
00:18:15,046 --> 00:18:16,452
- Whoo!
- Whoo!

380
00:18:17,382 --> 00:18:19,788
That rectangle
tells me all I need to know.

381
00:18:19,954 --> 00:18:21,994
- Whoo!
- Woo-hoo!

382
00:18:22,119 --> 00:18:23,196
No, wait!
Come back!

383
00:18:23,321 --> 00:18:24,564
I want some beads!

384
00:18:24,689 --> 00:18:26,629
Let me show you my...

385
00:18:26,795 --> 00:18:27,880
We already got hers, so...

386
00:18:28,046 --> 00:18:32,176
Come on!
Whoo!

387
00:18:33,364 --> 00:18:37,348
Looks like they underlined your neck.

388
00:18:37,514 --> 00:18:39,977
This is even more embarrassing
then when my dad told me

389
00:18:40,102 --> 00:18:43,479
about this DVD in the first place.

390
00:18:45,908 --> 00:18:48,359
Look, Whit, I appreciate
what you're trying to do here,

391
00:18:48,525 --> 00:18:49,854
but all these are just your things.

392
00:18:49,979 --> 00:18:51,422
And letting everyone else in on them

393
00:18:51,547 --> 00:18:53,781
means you're kind of missing
the point about us.

394
00:18:53,947 --> 00:18:56,427
No, it doesn't because...

395
00:18:57,094 --> 00:18:59,161
This is the journal
I was keeping when I met you.

396
00:18:59,855 --> 00:19:02,373
And it's full of all
of our most private things.

397
00:19:02,539 --> 00:19:03,434
So I took it out of the box

398
00:19:03,559 --> 00:19:05,836
'cause this is just for me and you

399
00:19:05,961 --> 00:19:07,211
and for nobody else.

400
00:19:07,377 --> 00:19:10,673
- You are catching on.
- Mm.

401
00:19:10,798 --> 00:19:12,808
But I think that, uh,
you have to show this journal

402
00:19:12,933 --> 00:19:13,967
to me now.

403
00:19:14,133 --> 00:19:16,720
Oh, no, it's kind of my thing.

404
00:19:16,886 --> 00:19:19,282
Ah.

405
00:19:19,407 --> 00:19:21,558
Hey, so, uh,
you wanna know my password?

406
00:19:21,724 --> 00:19:23,102
No, it's okay.

407
00:19:23,268 --> 00:19:25,854
You know, it's the date we met.

408
00:19:25,979 --> 00:19:31,326
The night of our first,
uh, well, everything.

409
00:19:31,451 --> 00:19:32,528
That's so sweet.

410
00:19:32,694 --> 00:19:35,155
Yeah, here.
Give it a try.

411
00:19:35,321 --> 00:19:36,782
Oh, no.

412
00:19:36,948 --> 00:19:38,634
Yeah, why not?
Go for it.

413
00:19:38,759 --> 00:19:40,953
Yeah, come on.
Raar!

414
00:19:47,366 --> 00:19:49,795
Yeah, you don't really
know the date, do you?

415
00:19:49,961 --> 00:19:54,007
- Of course I know the date.
- Oh, okay.

416
00:19:56,875 --> 00:19:57,784
- Hey.
- Huh?

417
00:19:57,909 --> 00:19:59,555
Give me that, this is not open book.

418
00:19:59,721 --> 00:20:01,521
July 11, 2008.

419
00:20:01,646 --> 00:20:02,922
<i>Opening day of Hellboy II.</i>

420
00:20:03,047 --> 00:20:06,459
We saw it, went drinking,
ran into this guy.

421
00:20:06,584 --> 00:20:08,485
7,11,8.

422
00:20:09,933 --> 00:20:11,483
I cannot believe you remember that.

423
00:20:11,649 --> 00:20:14,433
Yeah, and if I'd thrown
a rock instead of paper,

424
00:20:14,558 --> 00:20:16,435
you could have walked in on me.

425
00:20:16,560 --> 00:20:18,407
You know, cleaning my own gun.

426
00:20:21,965 --> 00:20:24,329
<i>Sliding doors.</i>

427
00:20:24,495 --> 00:20:31,082
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