[ UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS ]
[ WHISTLING MUSICALLY ]
[ MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS ]
Mr. Burke: WHAT DO YOU WANT?
-MAYBE THE TERIYAKI? -Mrs. Burke: HUMMUS PLATE.
Mr. Burke: CHEW, CHEW, CHEW, CHEW.
YEAH. [ CELLPHONE BEEPS ]
SO, HAVE YOU TOLD YOUR PARENTS, LUCY?
Lucy: ABOUT? OH, THE ENGAGEMENT.
I'VE JUST BEEN SO BUSY, I HAVEN'T HAD TIME TO THINK.
BUT I AM, YES, OBVIOUSLY GONNA TELL THEM.
Brendan: UNLESS I TELL THEM FIRST.
Mr. Burke: AH.
Brendan: AH. NO, I'M JUST TEASING.
NO, SERIOUSLY, I JUST WANT EVERYONE TO KNOW.
I LOVE HER SO MUCH, ESPECIALLY WHEN SHE'S NOT ON HER PHONE.
Lucy: SORRY.
Mrs. Burke: ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE NOT PREGNANT?
-Lucy: WHAT?! -Brendan: NO, MOM.
MOM, THAT WAS A JOKE.
Mr. Burke: BUT YOU DO WANT KIDS, RIGHT?
'CAUSE NEVER TOO EARLY TO START PRACTICING.
-AH? -Lucy: OH.
-Mr. Burke: BOOM! AH. -Brendan: DAD.
Mr. Burke: WHAT? I'M THINKING ABOUT THE FUTURE.
[ CELLPHONE BEEPS ]
Mrs. Burke: UH, IS WORK STRESSING YOU OUT, DEAR?
IS THAT WHY YOU LOOK SO TIRED?
Lucy: [ SIGHS ] YEAH. NO! NO.
EV-- EVERYTHING'S FINE.
Mr. Burke: WHAT'S THERE TO BE STRESSED OUT ABOUT?
-SHE TESTS VIDEO GAMES. -Brendan: THEY'RE APPS, DAD.
THEY'RE CALLED APPS. [ CELLPHONE BEEPS ]
-Mr. Burke: RIGHT, THE -- -Brendan: FOR HANDHELD DEVICES.
Mr. Burke: HANDHELD DEVICES.
I HAVE A HANDHELD DEVICE RIGHT HERE.
[ BOTH LAUGH ]
[ CELLPHONE BEEPS ]
Mrs. Burke: [ LAUGHING ]
[ CELLPHONE BEEPS ]
Lucy: CAN YOU EXCUSE ME FOR ONE SECOND?
[ CELLPHONE BEEPS ]
"REMEMBER YOUR DECISION MAKER APP?"
OKAY. YOU MEAN THAT I ACTUALLY MAKE IT?
[ CELLPHONE BEEPS, DOORKNOB RATTLING ]
OKAY, AND AFTER THAT I GO ON
TO CREATE A TIME TRAVEL TEXTING TECHNOLOGY. RIGHT.
OH, MY GOD. I'M A GENIUS IN THE FUTURE.
[ KNOCK ON DOOR ] Woman: IS SOMEONE IN THERE?
Lucy: JUST A SEC. [ CELLPHONE BEEPS ]
"MUST PROTECT SPACE TIME CONTINUUM"?
OKAY, YOU'RE TELLING ME I CREATE A WAY TO CHANGE HISTORY
AND I DON'T USE IT TO CURE CANCER OR END FAMINE,
BUT TO [SIGHS] NAG MYSELF ABOUT MY DATING LIFE.
HOW IS THAT WORTH RISKING THE SPACE-TIME CONTINUUM?
[ CELLPHONE BEEPS ]
[ KNOCKING ON DOOR ]
LOOK, I AM KIND OF HAVING A, UH...
A "BLACK SWAN" MOMENT HERE, SO PLEASE GO AWAY!
Brendan: LUCE. [ KNOCK ON DOOR ]
LUCY!
-Lucy: HEY. -Brendan: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
Lucy: SORRY, NO, I WAS JUST DEALING WITH THINGS
THAT MAKE YOU FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE --
YOU KNOW, CRAMPS, TAMPONS, YEAST INFECTIONS.
Brendan: LISTEN,
WE'RE HERE CELEBRATING OUR ENGAGEMENT, RIGHT?
SO TURN OFF THE PHONE AND COME BACK TO THE TABLE.
[ CELLPHONE BEEPS ]
NO?
DO YOU WANT TO MARRY YOUR PHONE?
Lucy: [ LAUGHS ] IS THAT EVEN LEGAL IN CALIFORNIA?
Brendan: FORGET IT.
[ HELEN AUSTIN'S "OKAY" PLAYS ]
♪ I CAN SEE YOU MAKING THE SAME MISTAKES ♪
Lucy: HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT YOU'RE IN LOVE?
I MEAN, THERE'S NO STANDARD DEFINITION,
SO WHO'S TO SAY WHAT LOVE REALLY IS?
Amanda: WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU LAST NIGHT?
YOU TURNED YOUR PHONE OFF. YOU'RE WEIRDLY PHILOSOPHICAL.
AND -- OH, GOD.
DON'T TELL ME HIS DAD TRIED TO GRAB YOUR ASS AGAIN?
Kelcey: I KNOW WHAT HAPPENED.
YOU HAVE A MANIFESTATION OF SELF-DISCOVERY
BROUGHT ON BY HAVING TO CONFRONT YOUR FUTURE IN-LAWS.
OR DID HIS DAD GRAB YOUR ASS AGAIN?
Lucy: HEY, YOU GUYS, I JUST -- I NEED YOUR HELP, OKAY?
Amanda: ALL RIGHT, I'LL ANSWER YOUR QUESTION
AS SOMEONE WHO'S BEEN IN LOVE, LIKE, A LOT.
LOVE IS -- IT'S A WHISPER IN YOUR HEART,
BUT THEN SOMETIMES IT JUST -- AAH!
IT SCREAMS!
WHEN YOU FIRST MET BRENDAN, WAS IT LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT?
'CAUSE I BELIEVE IN THAT.
THAT GUY OVER THERE...
I AM FALLING IN LOVE WITH HIM RIGHT NOW.
Kelcey: HE PROBABLY SAW YOU CLAWING THE TABLE
LIKE A SEX ADDICT.
Dave: HEY.
SOMETHING NEW I'M TRYING HERE.
IT'S ITALIAN DOUGHNUTS.
IT'S KIND OF LIKE A CROSS
BETWEEN A BISMARCK AND A CREAM HORN.
Kelcey: YOU ARE HOT WHEN YOU TALK PASTRY.
Amanda: OH, DAVE, FROM A GUY'S PERSPECTIVE,
CAN YOU EXPLAIN TO US, YOU KNOW,
WHAT LOVE IS AND HOW YOU KNOW YOU'RE IN IT?
Lucy: AMANDA.
-Dave: WHAT'S GOING ON? -Lucy: NOTHING.
Dave: YOU'RE GETTING COLD FEET.
Kelcey: OH, I'M SURPRISED
BY YOUR EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE, PASTRY BOY.
Dave: WELL, I GOT FOUR SISTERS.
I KIND OF GOT USED TO DECODING THE DRAMA.
Amanda: OOH, WELL, WHY DON'T YOU SIT DOWN AND DECODE SISTER LUCY?
Dave: ALL RIGHT.
WELL, I'D SAY THAT BRENDAN
IS GOING THROUGH THE SAME THING YOU ARE.
Lucy: OKAY, WELL, I SERIOUSLY DOUBT THAT.
Dave: DID YOU KNOW THAT HE TRIED PROPOSING TO YOU
SIX TIMES IN PARIS -- TWICE ON THE RIVERBOAT TOUR --
AND HE GOT SO NERVOUS THAT HE VOMITED?
-Amanda: AWW. -Kelcey: PATHETIC.
Lucy: I THOUGHT HE JUST GOT SEASICK.
NO, BRENDAN NEVER GETS NERVOUS.
Dave: DUDES ARE PEOPLE, TOO.
YOU'LL KNOW WHAT TO DO.
TRY THOSE DOUGHNUTS.
Amanda: THANK YOU.
Lucy: I MEAN, HE'S RIGHT.
I'VE BEEN SO HARD ON BRENDAN, AND I'M THE DOUCHE BAG.
HE PUKED IN THE SEINE,
AND I DIDN'T EVEN GIVE HIM A PROPER "YES."
NO, I -- I'VE GOT TO GO.
Amanda: DO YOU THINK THAT SHE LOVES HIM OR NOT?
Kelcey: WELL, I JUST REALIZED
THAT IF IT DOESN'T WORK OUT WITH BRENDAN,
WE LOSE OUR CONNECTION TO DAVE,
HENCE OUR CONNECTION TO FREE FOOD.
SO NOW I'M TORN.
Jagger: CAN I BORROW YOUR SALT?
Amanda: TOTALLY.
Kelcey: I'M GONNA TAKE YOURS.
Lucy: [ PANTING ]
[ CONSOLE BEEPS ]
Woman: PLEASE SAY A COMMAND.
Lucy: READ TEXT.
Woman: YOU WANTED SOMEONE TO TELL YOU WHAT TO DO.
I'M TELLING YOU YOU'RE MAKING THE BIGGEST MISTAKE
OF OUR LIVES.
[ TIRES SCREECH ]
[ CELLPHONE BEEPS ] Lucy: TEXT UNKNOWN.
Woman: TEXTING UNKNOWN.
Lucy: LOOK, I DON'T KNOW WHO YOU ARE,
BUT YOU HAVE FAILED TO PROVE THAT YOU ARE ME
BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN IN LOVE -- I AM IN LOVE.
SO GO FIND SOMEBODY ELSE TO DRIVE CRAZY,
BECAUSE I AM NOT CRAZY.
OH.
I OWE YOU AN APOLOGY.
[ CELLPHONE BEEPS ]
Brendan: DO YOU WANT TO ANSWER THAT FIRST?
Lucy: YOU HAVE BEEN SO PATIENT WITH ME,
AND I HAVE BEEN SO SELF-ABSORBED,
ONLY THINKING ABOUT MY FUTURE SELF --
MYSELF, MY CURRENT, PRESENT-DAY SELF.
BUT I LOVE YOU.
SO, YES.
I SAY YES.
LET'S DO THIS. [ CHUCKLES ]
Brendan: AND BY "THIS," YOU MEAN SEX, RIGHT?
[ CHUCKLES ]
'CAUSE THERE'S AN OPEN JANITOR'S CLOSET,
AND I HAVE ABOUT THREE MINUTES BEFORE MY MEETING.
[ MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS, WHISTLING MUSICALLY ]