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Oh, goody, you're all here.
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00:00:02,843 --> 00:00:05,579
Now, I know I'm not supposed to talk
about my campaign in the office,
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but last night I've made a decision
about who should be my campaign manager.
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This is a huge job.
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This is going to require
a lot of late night,
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one-on-one jam sessions
with me,
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and we're going to bounce ideas
off of each other,
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you're going to have to take
calls for me,
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any time, day or night.
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The person I have chosen is,
drum roll please,
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Ann Perkins! Yay!
Give it up for Ann!
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Good choice.
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Leslie, I don't know the first
thing about running
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a political campaign.
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Ann, you beautiful tropical fish.
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You're smart as a whip
and you're cool under pressure.
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You've resuscitated a human
heart in your bare hands.
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No, I haven't.
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- You haven't?
- No!
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You will.
You're that good of a nurse.
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What about Ben?
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I mean, he ran for mayor
at 18 and won.
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Ben is poison in my campaign.
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Our relationship is the reason
why my advisors pulled out.
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- I--
- Ann,
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don't listen to your head
or your heart.
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Just look at my eyes
and say "yes."
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- Okay, yes.
- Yes!
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- I believe in you, Ann.
- Thank you.
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And your first job
as my campaign manager
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is to start dressing like one.
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I don't want to have this
conversation again.
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Again? You just hired me eight
seconds ago.
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Wow. You're doing
a really bad job.
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Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
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- William, Elizabeth.
- Leslie, hi.
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Hi. What are you--
Are you coming to see me?
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Did you hear that I'm
relaunching my campaign?
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Actually, no, sorry.
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We weren't here to see you.
We've been meeting with
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other potential candidates
for city council.
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Yes, that's our job.
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I know.
Good luck, but, uh,
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I just had a big meeting
with my new advisory board,
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and they're brilliant and amazing.
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They're real killers.
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Leslie, I tried to make
ramen in the coffee pot
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and I broke everything.
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Thank you, Andy.
I'll be right in.
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Well, uh, good luck,
Leslie. Honestly.
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Well, we don't need luck.
We are a rocket ship.
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We are relaunching,
and we're going to blast past
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your cann--
Huh, they're gone.
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It's true--I no longer have
highly-trained,
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professional campaign managers.
So what?
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Are most murders committed by
highly-trained,
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professional assassins?
No.
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They're committed by friends
and coworkers.
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That analogy was way better
in my head.
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Hi.
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Champion? Oh my gosh,
there you are, puppy.
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- That's a good boy.
- That is a three-legged dog.
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His name is Champion, because
he's the dog world champion.
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Okay, I have to ask this, I'm sorry,
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but how many legs did that dog
have when you found him?
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Three! That's what
makes him the best.
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He can do more with three legs
than most dogs can do with four.
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Except for digging.
He's really bad at digging.
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And you remember what you said
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about making decisions in the house?
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You want to be involved.
We get that, so...
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You just say the word,
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and Champion goes back to the pound,
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where he can be put down
and killed forever.
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I'm not gonna send
a three-legged dog to his death.
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Yes!
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But I'm not gonna
take care of him for you.
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Well, it would be nice
if you helped a little.
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Because, unlike you,
Andy and I have jobs.
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Cruel, but fair.
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So Leslie and I have
come up with the theme
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for the campaign relaunch rally.
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"The Comeback Kid."
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Everyone loves
a good comeback story. Rocky.
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Robert Downey, Jr.
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Terminator said,
"I'll be back," and he was.
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Also making a comeback--
the casual Hawaiian shirt.
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Well, well, well,
look, who's ahead of the curve.
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I was joking.
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You should soak that
in bleach and burn it.
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Okay, so, the rally's
going to be held tomorrow
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at the Pawnee Sports Building.
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April, you finalized a rental, right?
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Shut up, Ann.
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I told you never to talk to me.
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That was Champion.
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Oh, my God, I'm sorry.
Bad dog!
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Yes, everything's fine
with the rental.
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Ron, you're constructing the stage?
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Yes, ma'am.
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Leslie wanted to hire
a contractor to build a stage.
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I don't want to paint
with a broad brush here,
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but every single contractor
in the world
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is a miserable, incompetent thief.
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Seal the edges by crimping
the fork--aw, crap.
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Ben!
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What's up, Chris?
Come on in, man.
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I already did.
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So, uh, how you been?
How are you doing?
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- How are you?
- Great, actually.
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I'm just learning how to
make a "cali-zoin-za."
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Or, as you Americans
like to say, calzones.
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- Do you want one?
- No, I find calzone fatty,
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and unnecessary.
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So, you've hit a bit of a rough patch,
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and I care about you,
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so I just want to make sure
you're doing okay.
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Chris, honestly, I'm great.
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I'm just exploring whatever fun
activity pops into my brain.
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Like, check this out.
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I'm teaching myself how to do
Claymation videos.
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Isn't this just so cool?
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It is so cool!
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Ben is massively depressed,
and he needs my help.
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You look like a real campaign manager.
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Oh, thanks, that's because
I googled "campaign manager"
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and noticed that they wear
a lot of dark colors.
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See, there's more things
to look at on the Internet
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- besides naked guys, Ann.
- What?
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I need a team update,
campaign manager.
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Okay. Pistol Pete Disellio
will be here in five minutes.
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I still can't believe
that you got him.
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Ann got local hero Pistol
Pete Disellio
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to endorse me at the rally.
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In 1992, Pistol Pete's
last-second dunk
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00:05:46,504 --> 00:05:49,556
against Eagleton High clinched
a comeback victory
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00:05:49,607 --> 00:05:52,075
for the Pawnee Central
drunken savages.
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00:05:52,110 --> 00:05:54,578
Team mascot later changed.
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Akash, buddy, of course
I came to you first.
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You're the best carpet man in Pawnee.
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But here's my question--
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Do your carpets match your drapes?
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How do you make any event classy
on a budget?
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Red carpet.
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My entire apartment is red carpet.
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On top of that,
leading into my bedroom,
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a second red carpet.
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Oh, what's this in my shoe?
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Red carpet insole.
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Everywhere I go,
I'm walking on red carpet.
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Is there even enough room
for everyone?
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- Here, sit on my lap.
- No, that's humiliating.
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Can't I at least sit on Andy's lap?
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No, that's Champion's spot.
He called it.
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Tom, we're already late.
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Now, be a man, and sit
on that girl's lap.
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Yes, sir.
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Hi, Pete Disellio.
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We can call you Pistol, right?
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I prefer Pete.
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Oh. Okay, got it.
I'm Leslie Knope.
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We overlapped a year
at Pawnee Central.
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You probably remember my voice
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from the morning announcements.
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This is my campaign manager,
Ann Perkins.
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Hi, nice to meet you.
Come on in.
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Oh, thanks.
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- I'm excited to be here.
- Ah! We're excited to have you.
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Ann is killing it.
My campaign team is unstoppable.
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This rally is going to be awesome.
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Oh, my God, I'm feeling it!
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I'm gonna break dance!
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Leslie?
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Coming! Thank God.
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00:07:20,804 --> 00:07:23,223
Oh, Champion is a way better
kisser than you are, babe.
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00:07:23,258 --> 00:07:24,058
- Nuh-uh!
- Yes, he is.
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00:07:24,059 --> 00:07:27,349
He's even a better kisser
than me. Here, try some.
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Okay, stop it.
He's drooling on me!
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Oh, we should do it for the kids.
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Kids love it, Ron.
Just for the kids.
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Hi, kids! Hey!
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Oh, look.
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The police even love it.
They're sirening back to us.
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That's awesome, I was going to
tell them that we heard them.
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00:07:46,313 --> 00:07:47,949
Heard ya, bud!
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00:07:48,750 --> 00:07:51,836
And then, you come out,
and you dunk the ball,
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00:07:51,887 --> 00:07:55,222
and you say, "Voting for Leslie
Knope is a slam dunk!"
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00:07:55,257 --> 00:07:56,357
You can still dunk, right?
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- Oh, I can, but I won't.
- Sorry?
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00:08:00,262 --> 00:08:01,428
Look, everywhere I go,
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00:08:01,463 --> 00:08:02,963
everybody wants me to
talk about that dunk,
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00:08:02,981 --> 00:08:04,131
and that game.
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00:08:04,166 --> 00:08:05,399
It feels like I'm living in the past.
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00:08:05,433 --> 00:08:09,320
But the past is great.
The jitterbug, stagecoaches,
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00:08:09,354 --> 00:08:10,504
Herman Munster.
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00:08:10,539 --> 00:08:12,072
Look, Leslie, I read up on you.
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00:08:12,107 --> 00:08:13,674
You've done great stuff
for our parks system
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00:08:13,708 --> 00:08:15,876
and I will happily endorse you...
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00:08:15,911 --> 00:08:17,511
As Peter Disellio,
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00:08:17,546 --> 00:08:19,246
regional distributor
for Derwin ham loafs,
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00:08:19,281 --> 00:08:22,750
but if this is about who I was,
or what I did when I was 17,
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00:08:22,784 --> 00:08:24,552
I'm out of here.
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00:08:24,586 --> 00:08:26,337
Let's not talk about dunking anymore.
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00:08:26,371 --> 00:08:27,487
Let's talk about what you want to do.
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00:08:27,506 --> 00:08:29,256
- Okay.
- I think you want to dunk.
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00:08:29,291 --> 00:08:30,724
I'm not going to dunk the ball.
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00:08:30,759 --> 00:08:32,927
What about a layup?
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00:08:32,961 --> 00:08:35,346
Officer, I've been operating
heavy machinery
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00:08:35,380 --> 00:08:37,765
since I was eight years old.
213
00:08:37,799 --> 00:08:40,718
Now, I respect you
and your service to this town
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00:08:40,769 --> 00:08:41,902
and your country,
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00:08:41,937 --> 00:08:45,606
but what laws are we breaking exactly?
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00:08:45,640 --> 00:08:47,541
Well, you got four people
in the front seat,
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00:08:47,576 --> 00:08:49,376
nobody's wearing a seat belt,
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00:08:49,411 --> 00:08:50,895
you were speeding
and blasting your horn
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00:08:50,946 --> 00:08:52,379
through the hospital zone,
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00:08:52,414 --> 00:08:55,566
the rear of the vehicle's open,
debris has been falling out,
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00:08:55,617 --> 00:08:57,751
and you don't have a commercial
license to drive a truck.
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00:08:57,786 --> 00:09:01,322
Okay. Well, we have
a philosophical difference
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00:09:01,356 --> 00:09:03,574
on what constitutes a law.
224
00:09:03,625 --> 00:09:04,858
I need to see your hands
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00:09:04,876 --> 00:09:07,027
and could you step out of
the vehicle, please?
226
00:09:07,045 --> 00:09:10,548
Hi. I just wanted you to know
we're about to be arrested.
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00:09:10,582 --> 00:09:12,099
Oh my God, April, that's horrible.
228
00:09:12,133 --> 00:09:13,751
Where are you?
229
00:09:13,802 --> 00:09:15,553
"My mother's butt", really?
That's really helpful.
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00:09:15,587 --> 00:09:16,971
Let me talk to her.
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00:09:17,005 --> 00:09:19,807
April, this is city council
candidate Leslie Knope.
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00:09:19,841 --> 00:09:21,208
Do not make any trouble.
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00:09:21,226 --> 00:09:24,395
Sit tight.
I'm on my way.
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00:09:24,429 --> 00:09:26,230
- Whoa. You just hung up on her?
- She'd already hung up on me.
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00:09:26,264 --> 00:09:28,082
Okay, I'm going to go down
there and get them out,
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00:09:28,116 --> 00:09:29,617
because men in uniform love me.
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00:09:29,651 --> 00:09:32,253
You have to get Pistol Pete
to make that shot.
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00:09:32,287 --> 00:09:34,021
Okay, but if I don't,
it's no big deal, right?
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00:09:34,055 --> 00:09:36,357
- You'll just make your speech?
- He's our surprise headliner.
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00:09:36,391 --> 00:09:38,392
The whole town loves him.
I'm polling at 1%.
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00:09:38,426 --> 00:09:40,244
He must dunk, Ann.
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00:09:40,278 --> 00:09:41,946
Do whatever it takes.
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00:09:41,997 --> 00:09:43,563
You know, anything short
of sexual favors.
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00:09:43,582 --> 00:09:45,032
- What?
- I do not--
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00:09:45,066 --> 00:09:46,667
I repeat, I do not
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00:09:46,701 --> 00:09:48,636
want you to tempt him
with sexual favors.
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00:09:48,670 --> 00:09:50,137
- I wasn't going to.
- Good, I wouldn't either.
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00:09:50,171 --> 00:09:51,205
That's where I draw the line.
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00:09:51,239 --> 00:09:52,373
Although, I am a little offended
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00:09:52,374 --> 00:09:53,357
that you wouldn't do that for me.
251
00:09:53,358 --> 00:09:54,692
- Go.
- Right.
252
00:09:54,943 --> 00:09:59,546
- So, Ben...Why Calzone?
- Glad you asked, Chris.
253
00:09:59,580 --> 00:10:01,915
You know, there's fast food
hamburgers.
254
00:10:01,933 --> 00:10:03,083
There's fast food Mexican.
255
00:10:03,101 --> 00:10:04,584
There's fast food Chinese.
Blah blah blah.
256
00:10:04,603 --> 00:10:06,020
Have you ever wondered
257
00:10:06,054 --> 00:10:08,355
why there isn't a fast food
option for Italian food?
258
00:10:08,390 --> 00:10:09,723
What about pizza?
259
00:10:09,757 --> 00:10:12,259
Pizza?
Never heard of it.
260
00:10:12,277 --> 00:10:14,028
That's what people will be
saying in 20 years,
261
00:10:14,062 --> 00:10:16,430
because pizza is old news, Chris.
262
00:10:16,448 --> 00:10:19,316
Pizza is your grandfather's calzone.
263
00:10:19,367 --> 00:10:20,818
Never thought of it that way.
264
00:10:20,869 --> 00:10:22,620
What I'm talking about is
a portable, delicious meal,
265
00:10:22,654 --> 00:10:24,038
that is it's own container.
266
00:10:24,072 --> 00:10:27,174
It's a whole new spin
on Italian fast casual dining.
267
00:10:27,208 --> 00:10:29,043
Amazing.
268
00:10:29,077 --> 00:10:31,412
And you of all people will like this.
269
00:10:31,446 --> 00:10:32,413
I'm gonna use
low-fat ingredients.
270
00:10:32,447 --> 00:10:33,714
Game-changer.
271
00:10:33,748 --> 00:10:36,750
And I will call my new
Italian fast casual eatery
272
00:10:36,784 --> 00:10:41,338
"The Low-cal Calzone Zone."
273
00:10:41,389 --> 00:10:44,425
That idea is literally
the greatest idea
274
00:10:44,459 --> 00:10:45,492
I've ever heard in my life.
275
00:10:45,527 --> 00:10:47,661
That idea is terrible.
276
00:10:47,696 --> 00:10:49,463
Glen, you're killing me.
277
00:10:49,481 --> 00:10:51,598
They broke about 50 laws, Knope.
278
00:10:51,632 --> 00:10:54,268
And that girl, she tried to get
that gimp dog to bite me.
279
00:10:55,570 --> 00:10:57,637
Look, I could sit here
and fill out all the paperwork,
280
00:10:57,656 --> 00:11:00,140
but you and I both know that
you'd rather go home to Debra,
281
00:11:00,175 --> 00:11:02,809
have a nice home-cooked meal,
and do what comes naturally.
282
00:11:02,827 --> 00:11:04,111
That's not appropriate.
283
00:11:04,145 --> 00:11:06,280
You know that I'm gonna
pay all the fines.
284
00:11:06,314 --> 00:11:10,534
I'm in the middle of a campaign
rally, and this is my team.
285
00:11:10,585 --> 00:11:12,536
- I need them, please.
- Fine.
286
00:11:12,587 --> 00:11:14,388
But unless one of you
has a commercial license,
287
00:11:14,422 --> 00:11:17,324
you can't take that truck.
288
00:11:17,359 --> 00:11:20,210
It would just mean so much to us.
289
00:11:20,261 --> 00:11:22,296
I mean, you're a living legend.
290
00:11:22,330 --> 00:11:25,399
They still air that game every
Friday night on cable access.
291
00:11:25,433 --> 00:11:26,734
Yeah, well, being a living legend is
292
00:11:26,768 --> 00:11:28,185
sort of a double-edged sword.
293
00:11:28,219 --> 00:11:30,070
Everybody in this town
still calls me "Pistol."
294
00:11:30,105 --> 00:11:33,057
Tell me more about that, Peter.
295
00:11:33,108 --> 00:11:36,393
I mean, yes, that dunk,
it made me famous,
296
00:11:36,444 --> 00:11:39,813
but sometimes...
297
00:11:39,847 --> 00:11:43,784
Sometimes life dunks you.
298
00:11:43,818 --> 00:11:45,852
Hey, man, you want to go for a jog?
299
00:11:45,870 --> 00:11:47,654
Just, sort of, kick out the cobwebs,
300
00:11:47,688 --> 00:11:49,540
get some endorphins going?
301
00:11:49,574 --> 00:11:51,208
Oh, no, thanks, Chris.
302
00:11:51,242 --> 00:11:53,260
Kind of tearing this Claymation video
303
00:11:53,294 --> 00:11:55,028
a new one right now.
304
00:11:55,063 --> 00:11:56,663
You know, Ben, I really think
305
00:11:56,697 --> 00:11:58,082
you need to take a step back here.
306
00:11:58,133 --> 00:12:00,033
I think getting some
perspective would be good.
307
00:12:00,051 --> 00:12:01,568
What are you talking about?
308
00:12:01,603 --> 00:12:02,970
I've known you a long time.
309
00:12:03,004 --> 00:12:07,374
And, right now, you need help.
310
00:12:07,409 --> 00:12:10,210
- With my Claymaish?
- With your life.
311
00:12:10,228 --> 00:12:14,481
You are wildly, insanely depressed.
312
00:12:14,516 --> 00:12:15,916
Depressed?
313
00:12:15,950 --> 00:12:17,651
I'm the furthest thing from depressed.
314
00:12:17,685 --> 00:12:19,553
I mean, look at what
I've accomplished.
315
00:12:19,571 --> 00:12:21,000
Do you see him?
316
00:12:21,001 --> 00:12:24,090
Do you think a depressed
person could make this?
317
00:12:24,091 --> 00:12:24,944
No.
318
00:12:26,995 --> 00:12:29,229
- That's all we can fit in here.
- No problem.
319
00:12:29,247 --> 00:12:31,165
This is going to be fine.
We're all going to be fine,
320
00:12:31,199 --> 00:12:32,566
because the team is still together,
321
00:12:32,584 --> 00:12:34,334
and there's nothing the team can't do.
322
00:12:34,369 --> 00:12:37,671
Wait, I think Champion
has to go to the bathroom.
323
00:12:37,705 --> 00:12:41,275
- Oh! He shall do it in the car!
- Answer your phone, Ann.
324
00:12:41,309 --> 00:12:42,776
That's what life is like
325
00:12:42,811 --> 00:12:44,945
in a strict Roman Catholic household.
326
00:12:44,979 --> 00:12:46,547
Of course, my father,
327
00:12:46,581 --> 00:12:47,631
he was more stick than carrot
328
00:12:47,682 --> 00:12:49,349
when it came to matters of discipline.
329
00:12:49,384 --> 00:12:52,553
I'm sorry, but the Ben Wyatt
that I know,
330
00:12:52,587 --> 00:12:55,155
I just don't think he'd be
happy sitting here
331
00:12:55,190 --> 00:12:56,774
faffing around.
332
00:12:56,808 --> 00:12:58,108
I'm not faffing around.
333
00:12:58,143 --> 00:12:59,943
I've sunk myself into my hobbies.
334
00:12:59,978 --> 00:13:03,530
Here, I'll show you my
Claymation project, okay?
335
00:13:03,565 --> 00:13:05,666
Now, I've been working
pretty hard on this,
336
00:13:05,700 --> 00:13:08,368
and...I think
it's really good.
337
00:13:08,403 --> 00:13:10,704
So just hang on to your hat, okay?
338
00:13:10,738 --> 00:13:12,623
Here it goes.
339
00:13:14,626 --> 00:13:16,276
Oh, how great.
340
00:13:21,483 --> 00:13:23,817
♪ Stand in the place
where you-- ♪
341
00:13:27,489 --> 00:13:31,725
- Did you pause it?
- No, I--hang on.
342
00:13:33,761 --> 00:13:36,096
♪ Stand in the place
where you-- ♪
343
00:13:41,536 --> 00:13:45,405
Oh, my God.
That's the whole thing.
344
00:13:45,440 --> 00:13:47,875
- That's three weeks of work.
- You're gonna be okay.
345
00:13:47,909 --> 00:13:51,445
No, no, no, no, I'm not.
You see, in my head,
346
00:13:51,479 --> 00:13:54,081
I thought that was really,
really cool.
347
00:13:54,115 --> 00:13:56,683
I emailed Leslie two days ago
348
00:13:56,718 --> 00:13:58,886
and I compared it to Avatar,
349
00:13:58,920 --> 00:14:01,288
Chris, and how can it not be longer?
350
00:14:01,322 --> 00:14:04,091
Okay, look, what you're
feeling, right now
351
00:14:04,125 --> 00:14:06,760
is regret and shame.
352
00:14:06,900 --> 00:14:08,760
But we are going
to get through this.
353
00:14:08,930 --> 00:14:10,964
Okay, no word from Ann.
354
00:14:10,999 --> 00:14:12,516
April, I need a status report.
355
00:14:12,550 --> 00:14:15,435
- How's it looking out there?
- Perfect, but just one thing.
356
00:14:15,470 --> 00:14:17,037
It's not a basketball court any more.
357
00:14:17,071 --> 00:14:18,388
It's an ice skating rink.
358
00:14:18,439 --> 00:14:19,940
Wait, what? Why?
What happened?
359
00:14:19,974 --> 00:14:22,109
The stupid guy I called to
book this place didn't tell me
360
00:14:22,143 --> 00:14:24,144
they took off the basketball
floor for a hockey game.
361
00:14:24,178 --> 00:14:26,480
Or maybe he did tell me,
but he was so stupid and boring
362
00:14:26,514 --> 00:14:27,698
that I wasn't listening,
363
00:14:27,732 --> 00:14:28,849
and either way, it was his fault,
364
00:14:28,883 --> 00:14:30,651
because he was stupid and I hated him.
365
00:14:30,685 --> 00:14:32,085
Ron, how's the stage coming?
366
00:14:32,120 --> 00:14:35,822
Well, since we had to
jettison the bulk of the wood,
367
00:14:35,856 --> 00:14:37,124
this is the biggest I could make it.
368
00:14:37,158 --> 00:14:38,692
Oh, my God.
369
00:14:38,726 --> 00:14:41,828
Good lord, what happened
to the rest of my face?
370
00:14:41,862 --> 00:14:43,530
We had to "Jetsons"
most of the poster too,
371
00:14:43,548 --> 00:14:44,748
but I kind of like it,
372
00:14:44,799 --> 00:14:48,302
'cause windows
are the eyes to the house.
373
00:14:48,336 --> 00:14:49,970
Wow.
374
00:14:50,004 --> 00:14:52,839
- Okay, I got Pistol Pete.
- Good, where is he?
375
00:14:52,873 --> 00:14:54,841
Right now, he's curled up
in the back seat of my car,
376
00:14:54,875 --> 00:14:57,778
talking about his father,
who is a piece of work.
377
00:14:57,812 --> 00:14:59,813
I actually think he did the best
he could for a single father,
378
00:14:59,847 --> 00:15:01,515
but I may be too close
to the situation.
379
00:15:01,549 --> 00:15:03,267
Anyway, the important news
is that he's here.
380
00:15:03,318 --> 00:15:04,818
Good. Is he going to
dunk for me?
381
00:15:04,852 --> 00:15:07,187
I'm not sure, I couldn't
hear through all the crying.
382
00:15:07,221 --> 00:15:08,888
- He's crying?
- No, I was crying.
383
00:15:08,907 --> 00:15:10,157
It's been a stressful day,
384
00:15:10,191 --> 00:15:11,358
and he's had a really rough life.
385
00:15:11,392 --> 00:15:12,793
Oh, my God.
386
00:15:12,827 --> 00:15:14,027
We should cancel it, right?
Maybe we should cancel it?
387
00:15:14,062 --> 00:15:15,262
- Yeah.
- Jerry...
388
00:15:15,296 --> 00:15:16,780
You were in charge of getting a crowd.
389
00:15:16,831 --> 00:15:18,365
Please tell me that you pulled
a Jerry, and no one's here.
390
00:15:18,399 --> 00:15:19,700
Okay, well, first of all,
391
00:15:19,734 --> 00:15:21,168
I don't like it when you guys
use that term.
392
00:15:21,202 --> 00:15:23,370
But for the record, I came through.
393
00:15:23,404 --> 00:15:25,739
There are almost
a hundred people out there!
394
00:15:25,757 --> 00:15:28,625
Oh, damn it, Jerry, you just
had to do your job, didn't you?
395
00:15:28,676 --> 00:15:30,577
Yeah, can't you do anything
wrong, Jerry?
396
00:15:30,612 --> 00:15:32,579
I've been looking
at our utter and complete lack
397
00:15:32,597 --> 00:15:34,932
of experience as a positive thing,
398
00:15:34,966 --> 00:15:36,433
but I'm starting to think
399
00:15:36,467 --> 00:15:38,551
it might actually be a problem.
400
00:15:40,613 --> 00:15:41,984
Okay, guys, everybody listen up.
401
00:15:42,104 --> 00:15:43,780
I just wanted to say thank you.
402
00:15:43,900 --> 00:15:46,428
You've all volunteered
your time and, no matter what,
403
00:15:46,462 --> 00:15:48,263
I am eternally grateful for it.
404
00:15:48,297 --> 00:15:49,431
Now, I'm going to go out there,
405
00:15:49,465 --> 00:15:51,266
and I'm going to
announce the relaunch,
406
00:15:51,300 --> 00:15:53,868
and I'm going to muddle through
this thing as best I can.
407
00:15:53,903 --> 00:15:56,070
You should all leave,
and when this thing is over,
408
00:15:56,105 --> 00:15:57,405
I'll meet you at the nearest bar.
409
00:15:57,440 --> 00:15:59,374
That would be Hurley's.
410
00:15:59,408 --> 00:16:00,725
- Oh, it's karaoke tonight!
- Yes!
411
00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:04,129
No, no, no, guys.
No. We're not leaving, okay?
412
00:16:04,163 --> 00:16:06,513
We're the reason
Leslie's in this mess.
413
00:16:06,514 --> 00:16:08,996
It's our mess.
We're going to stay here
414
00:16:08,997 --> 00:16:11,352
and we're going to
go out there as a team.
415
00:16:11,353 --> 00:16:15,507
Or, we go as a team to Hurley's.
416
00:16:15,541 --> 00:16:17,292
No, Ann's right.
417
00:16:17,326 --> 00:16:20,562
We're a team.
We're all going out together.
418
00:16:20,596 --> 00:16:21,729
Let's give this crowd a show.
419
00:16:21,764 --> 00:16:24,349
Go, team!
420
00:16:28,437 --> 00:16:32,173
♪ Get up and make it happen ♪
421
00:16:32,191 --> 00:16:34,509
♪ get on your feet ♪
422
00:16:35,528 --> 00:16:37,045
Tom?
423
00:16:37,079 --> 00:16:38,530
I couldn't afford
enough premium carpet
424
00:16:38,564 --> 00:16:40,014
to get us to the stage.
425
00:16:40,032 --> 00:16:41,149
I mean, it was a short walk,
426
00:16:41,183 --> 00:16:42,817
but it was pretty luxurious, right?
427
00:16:42,851 --> 00:16:44,852
Okay.
428
00:16:51,843 --> 00:16:53,077
Everybody smile and wave.
429
00:16:56,081 --> 00:17:00,468
♪ Get up and make it happen ♪
430
00:17:00,503 --> 00:17:02,704
♪ get on your feet ♪
431
00:17:03,973 --> 00:17:06,508
Stop leaning on my arm, Andy.
432
00:17:10,479 --> 00:17:12,013
I'm holding the dog.
433
00:17:12,047 --> 00:17:14,098
He is peeing.
He is now peeing.
434
00:17:14,149 --> 00:17:15,883
I am putting him down.
435
00:17:15,901 --> 00:17:17,652
No, Ron, he only has three legs!
436
00:17:19,054 --> 00:17:21,623
- Get off me!
- No, I'm scared!
437
00:17:21,657 --> 00:17:23,491
♪ Get up and make it happen ♪
438
00:17:23,526 --> 00:17:26,094
Ron? Ron?
There's no stairs.
439
00:17:26,128 --> 00:17:27,728
How do I get onto the stage?
441
00:17:40,259 --> 00:17:42,760
♪ Get on your feet ♪
442
00:17:44,613 --> 00:17:47,782
♪ get up and make it happen ♪
443
00:17:47,816 --> 00:17:50,018
♪ get on your feet ♪
444
00:17:50,652 --> 00:17:52,620
Okay.
447
00:18:00,162 --> 00:18:03,398
Mm-mm.
Here you go. Drink up,
448
00:18:03,432 --> 00:18:06,267
because it has every herb
in my herb belt.
449
00:18:06,285 --> 00:18:08,703
Oh. Tastes like a belt.
450
00:18:08,737 --> 00:18:11,906
I know, isn't it awful?
But it works wonderfully.
451
00:18:11,940 --> 00:18:13,491
So, tell me.
452
00:18:13,542 --> 00:18:16,177
Do you admit that you're depressed?
453
00:18:16,211 --> 00:18:18,146
How did you know?
I didn't even know.
454
00:18:18,180 --> 00:18:20,381
The Letters to Cleo t-shirt,
the unshaven face,
455
00:18:20,416 --> 00:18:23,284
the Doc Martins, and your hair
does not have that normal,
456
00:18:23,302 --> 00:18:27,121
uptight, rigid, inflexible
Ben Wyatt sense of fun.
457
00:18:27,139 --> 00:18:30,658
You can't hide
these things from friends.
458
00:18:30,693 --> 00:18:33,361
I think I'm feeling better.
459
00:18:33,395 --> 00:18:35,897
Herbal smoothie,
you have done it again.
460
00:18:35,931 --> 00:18:39,601
As a loyal pawneean, I've
always been proud of this town,
461
00:18:39,635 --> 00:18:41,669
and, I, oh, um, sorry.
462
00:18:41,704 --> 00:18:44,572
My cards got out of order here
when they fell.
463
00:18:44,607 --> 00:18:51,245
Together, we can defeat
obese children.
464
00:18:51,280 --> 00:18:54,365
I'm sure that was something
positive, originally.
465
00:18:54,416 --> 00:18:57,919
I'm sorry, okay, this is
just a disaster, isn't it?
466
00:18:57,953 --> 00:19:02,991
This is the worst political
event ever in history.
467
00:19:03,025 --> 00:19:07,328
Well, um, I can assure
you people in the bleachers
468
00:19:07,363 --> 00:19:10,431
that, if you follow my campaign,
it will be interesting.
469
00:19:10,466 --> 00:19:12,050
It sure will be!
470
00:19:12,101 --> 00:19:13,635
Ladies and gentlemen, I'm Pistol Pete,
471
00:19:13,669 --> 00:19:16,003
and around here, I'm a Pawnee legend!
472
00:19:18,724 --> 00:19:21,859
I just wanted to say that
I fully endorse Leslie Knope.
473
00:19:21,894 --> 00:19:23,844
She's got a great team behind her,
474
00:19:23,862 --> 00:19:27,048
and a vote for her is a slam dunk.
475
00:19:29,368 --> 00:19:30,918
Thanks, Pistol Pete!
476
00:19:30,953 --> 00:19:33,454
Wow, we're so happy to have you.
477
00:19:33,489 --> 00:19:36,124
Oh, hey. There he goes.
478
00:19:36,158 --> 00:19:37,125
Come on, Pete!
479
00:19:37,159 --> 00:19:38,543
Oh!
480
00:19:38,577 --> 00:19:41,245
Okay, stay still.
Stay down.
481
00:19:41,296 --> 00:19:44,732
Pistol Pete, everybody.
Still got it.
482
00:19:47,418 --> 00:19:50,204
- Hey.
- Hey, how was the rally?
483
00:19:50,239 --> 00:19:52,106
- Oh, we nailed it!
- No, we didn't.
484
00:19:52,141 --> 00:19:54,776
Ben, my campaign manager
and I have made a decision.
485
00:19:54,810 --> 00:19:57,879
We've decided to fire
the campaign manager--me.
486
00:19:57,913 --> 00:20:01,582
- And hire you.
- But we've talked about this.
487
00:20:01,617 --> 00:20:04,018
I don't care if you're
poison to my campaign.
488
00:20:04,053 --> 00:20:07,722
This team has a lot of heart
and zero know-how.
489
00:20:07,756 --> 00:20:09,490
You're the only one that can save us.
490
00:20:09,525 --> 00:20:12,326
Please be my campaign manager.
491
00:20:12,361 --> 00:20:14,762
You know, Leslie, Ben's really
been going through something,
492
00:20:14,797 --> 00:20:17,765
and he's on a journey, so I
don't think he's gonna be--
493
00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:19,434
I'll do it. I'm in.
494
00:20:19,468 --> 00:20:22,003
I've done enough exploring.
I'm good.
495
00:20:22,037 --> 00:20:23,404
- Okay, great.
- Ann, you're fired.
496
00:20:23,422 --> 00:20:26,073
Oh, thank God.
497
00:20:26,091 --> 00:20:29,354
No, don't make out.
It's making Champion sad.
498
00:20:30,977 --> 00:20:33,110
Surprise!
499
00:20:33,350 --> 00:20:36,486
We felt really bad about
the whole dredging up your past
500
00:20:36,520 --> 00:20:38,822
just to be publically
humiliated thing.
501
00:20:38,856 --> 00:20:41,825
- So, cookies.
- And balloons.
502
00:20:41,859 --> 00:20:44,894
Thanks, guys. It--
that's nice.
503
00:20:44,912 --> 00:20:46,162
We feel so bad.
504
00:20:46,197 --> 00:20:48,631
Is there anything else we can do?
505
00:20:48,666 --> 00:20:50,266
You could let me take you to dinner.
506
00:20:50,301 --> 00:20:52,135
Yes, Ann, yes.
You should do that.
507
00:20:52,169 --> 00:20:54,170
Oh, I can't, though,
because I'm married.
508
00:20:54,205 --> 00:20:56,790
You're not married.
She's not married.
509
00:20:59,009 --> 00:21:01,010
This is uncomfortable.
510
00:21:02,118 --> 00:21:07,857
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com