1
00:00:04,006 --> 00:00:06,174
(Ned whimpering)
2
00:00:10,062 --> 00:00:11,763
(exclaiming)
3
00:00:16,369 --> 00:00:18,186
(school bell ringing)
4
00:00:21,040 --> 00:00:22,023
(Barney belches)
5
00:00:22,091 --> 00:00:23,992
(whistle blows)
6
00:00:24,043 --> 00:00:25,744
(yells)
7
00:00:30,266 --> 00:00:31,349
(beeping)
8
00:00:36,722 --> 00:00:38,673
(playing the blues)
9
00:00:39,876 --> 00:00:43,395
(playing the blues)
10
00:00:46,015 --> 00:00:47,582
D'oh!
11
00:00:47,650 --> 00:00:48,750
(tires screeching)
12
00:00:48,818 --> 00:00:50,469
(grunts)
13
00:00:50,536 --> 00:00:52,771
♪
14
00:00:52,796 --> 00:00:56,296
♪ The Simpsons 23x11 ♪
The D'oh-cial Network
Original Air Date on January 15, 2012
15
00:00:56,321 --> 00:00:59,821
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
Sync for 720p.web-dl.ctrlHD by sn655321
16
00:01:07,970 --> 00:01:09,738
D'oh!
17
00:01:27,039 --> 00:01:28,540
So what are we doing here?
18
00:01:28,608 --> 00:01:31,576
What, is it the thing where the
family runs in and sits down?
19
00:01:33,462 --> 00:01:34,696
That's it?
20
00:01:34,764 --> 00:01:37,966
We flew you in and
put you up for that?
21
00:01:38,034 --> 00:01:39,334
I, I think
we're done here.
22
00:01:39,402 --> 00:01:40,602
Paul.
23
00:01:40,670 --> 00:01:42,771
(playing The Simpsons
theme song)
24
00:01:45,741 --> 00:01:46,775
(song ends)
25
00:01:55,501 --> 00:01:58,236
Lisa Simpson, your actions
have brought devastation
26
00:01:58,304 --> 00:01:59,604
upon this town,
27
00:01:59,672 --> 00:02:02,123
and all because
of your selfish desire
28
00:02:02,174 --> 00:02:04,175
to be accepted
by others.
29
00:02:04,243 --> 00:02:05,176
(gallery murmuring hostilely)
30
00:02:05,261 --> 00:02:06,878
Leave her alone.
31
00:02:06,946 --> 00:02:08,713
That's my only
talking daughter.
32
00:02:11,784 --> 00:02:13,618
Lethal inject her
on the electric chair.
33
00:02:13,686 --> 00:02:17,155
Bart, it's okay to say that
at home but not in court.
34
00:02:17,223 --> 00:02:18,156
Take it back.
35
00:02:18,224 --> 00:02:19,658
Withdrawn.
36
00:02:19,725 --> 00:02:24,496
Now, Lisa, tell your side of the
story, and use your big voice.
37
00:02:24,564 --> 00:02:26,598
Well, it all started
a couple of months ago.
38
00:02:26,666 --> 00:02:27,866
Your Honor,
I'd like to request
39
00:02:27,934 --> 00:02:30,569
that everyone in the court
picture in their minds
40
00:02:30,636 --> 00:02:32,520
what the witness
is describing.
41
00:02:32,588 --> 00:02:34,623
I'll allow it,
but no flights of fancy.
44
00:02:40,463 --> 00:02:42,247
Well, McBain,
you certainly picked
45
00:02:42,315 --> 00:02:44,516
a bad time to come
out of retirement.
46
00:02:44,584 --> 00:02:46,885
I hope you have
a COBRA plan.
47
00:02:46,953 --> 00:02:48,803
(hisses)
48
00:02:48,854 --> 00:02:53,124
You are suffering from
a reptile dysfunction.
49
00:02:53,192 --> 00:02:55,843
HOMER (groaning):
Down in front.
50
00:02:55,895 --> 00:02:58,513
Damn it,
why do kids have heads?
51
00:02:58,564 --> 00:03:01,866
Homie, stop watching the movie
in the other people's car.
52
00:03:01,951 --> 00:03:04,819
Oh, but I'm invested
in the characters.
53
00:03:04,887 --> 00:03:07,789
You'll miss the turnoff
to the fancy new mall.
54
00:03:07,856 --> 00:03:09,274
I make my own
turnoffs.
55
00:03:09,342 --> 00:03:12,210
(tires screeching)
56
00:03:12,278 --> 00:03:14,696
And that, kids, is
how you stick it
57
00:03:14,747 --> 00:03:17,832
to the Towne Centre Real
Estate Investment Trust.
58
00:03:17,883 --> 00:03:19,668
No, no, no.
59
00:03:19,719 --> 00:03:20,702
Whoo-hoo!
60
00:03:20,770 --> 00:03:21,636
(tires screech)
61
00:03:21,704 --> 00:03:23,271
Someone thinks
we're leaving.
62
00:03:23,339 --> 00:03:25,006
I'll wave them off.
63
00:03:25,074 --> 00:03:27,492
No, no, no, no, let's see how
long we can keep 'em waiting.
64
00:03:27,560 --> 00:03:29,127
Everyone act like
we're buckling up to go home.
65
00:03:29,195 --> 00:03:30,044
(laughs)
66
00:03:30,096 --> 00:03:31,513
Homie.
67
00:03:31,564 --> 00:03:32,847
Marge, if you were
married to Da Vinci,
68
00:03:32,915 --> 00:03:34,416
you wouldn't tell
him not to Da Vinch.
69
00:03:34,483 --> 00:03:35,734
(groans)
70
00:03:54,170 --> 00:03:56,171
Damn it, are you
leaving or not?!
71
00:03:56,238 --> 00:03:57,555
Leaving?
72
00:03:57,623 --> 00:03:59,724
Why on earth
would you think that?
73
00:03:59,792 --> 00:04:01,076
(roars)
74
00:04:01,143 --> 00:04:03,611
(all laughing)
75
00:04:03,679 --> 00:04:06,381
We totally
wasted his time.
76
00:04:06,449 --> 00:04:07,415
And ours.
77
00:04:07,466 --> 00:04:08,550
(laughs)
78
00:04:12,621 --> 00:04:14,422
This place
is so great.
79
00:04:14,490 --> 00:04:16,257
When the trolley hits you,
it doesn't even hurt.
80
00:04:16,325 --> 00:04:18,226
(bell ringing, Homer giggling)
81
00:04:22,398 --> 00:04:23,865
You try it, Maggie.
82
00:04:23,933 --> 00:04:26,201
(bell ringing, Maggie giggling)
83
00:04:26,268 --> 00:04:30,689
Ooh, condos.
84
00:04:30,756 --> 00:04:32,323
Lenny, do you live here?
85
00:04:32,391 --> 00:04:33,692
Yeah, I just
moved in.
86
00:04:33,759 --> 00:04:35,860
I have a Drippin' Dots
for breakfast every morning;
87
00:04:35,928 --> 00:04:38,079
at lunch, I get a massage
in front of strangers;
88
00:04:38,147 --> 00:04:40,782
and then I spend the afternoon
browsing cell phone skins.
89
00:04:40,850 --> 00:04:42,417
Ever get tired
of those dancing waters?
90
00:04:42,485 --> 00:04:45,220
(Strauss' "The Blue Danube"
playing)
91
00:04:47,056 --> 00:04:48,523
The day I moved in.
92
00:04:48,591 --> 00:04:50,191
So what are we all going
to do together?
93
00:04:50,259 --> 00:04:54,963
Actually, we just came to do
some shopping as a family.
94
00:04:55,031 --> 00:04:56,398
Oh, no worries.
95
00:04:56,465 --> 00:04:59,284
Mr. Mall can make
his own excitement.
96
00:05:00,536 --> 00:05:02,837
Give me one doll
from every time period,
97
00:05:02,905 --> 00:05:05,073
and set me up for a tea party
in a private room.
98
00:05:05,141 --> 00:05:08,176
Lenny, you asked me to stop you
from coming back in here.
99
00:05:08,244 --> 00:05:09,861
Let me help you.
100
00:05:09,929 --> 00:05:13,431
You can help me by giving
me Ellis Island Emily.
101
00:05:13,499 --> 00:05:16,034
Hi, dear, I'm your Uncle Lenny.
102
00:05:16,102 --> 00:05:17,769
I'm going to buy you
an all-new wardrobe,
103
00:05:17,837 --> 00:05:19,921
fix your teeth,
send you to the best schools,
104
00:05:19,989 --> 00:05:21,956
and you're going to hate
and resent me for it
105
00:05:22,024 --> 00:05:24,225
'cause you're an American now.
106
00:05:25,694 --> 00:05:28,663
I was hanging on to these
gift cards as investments,
107
00:05:28,731 --> 00:05:30,999
but then half the companies
went out of business.
108
00:05:31,067 --> 00:05:32,917
Better sort those out.
109
00:05:34,770 --> 00:05:37,338
(applause)
110
00:05:37,389 --> 00:05:39,724
CROWD:
Aw...
111
00:05:45,281 --> 00:05:48,116
(loud applause)
112
00:05:48,183 --> 00:05:50,068
CROWD:
Aw...
113
00:05:51,270 --> 00:05:53,121
(grunts nervously)
114
00:05:53,188 --> 00:05:54,139
D'oh!
115
00:05:54,206 --> 00:05:55,090
Do-over.
116
00:05:55,157 --> 00:05:56,658
Hmm.
117
00:05:56,709 --> 00:05:57,675
Whoo-hoo!
118
00:06:00,312 --> 00:06:02,797
Unspool it
into my mouth
119
00:06:02,865 --> 00:06:05,567
till that card
is at zero.
120
00:06:05,634 --> 00:06:07,469
Draw the curtain.
121
00:06:13,909 --> 00:06:16,544
(Bart humming)
122
00:06:16,612 --> 00:06:18,446
Sir, as a complexion
scientist,
123
00:06:18,514 --> 00:06:20,782
I must advise you
against using any more.
124
00:06:20,850 --> 00:06:23,301
This is the most powerful
hydrator we sell.
125
00:06:23,369 --> 00:06:25,487
Less blathering,
more slathering.
126
00:06:25,554 --> 00:06:26,554
(grunts happily)
127
00:06:26,605 --> 00:06:27,722
(laughs)
128
00:06:29,175 --> 00:06:30,992
(laughing)
Hey!
129
00:06:31,060 --> 00:06:31,943
Watch it!
130
00:06:32,027 --> 00:06:33,628
Yo, Bart dude.
131
00:06:33,696 --> 00:06:34,946
Can I get a ride
to the food court?
132
00:06:35,014 --> 00:06:36,664
Hop on.
133
00:06:36,732 --> 00:06:39,000
(laughing):
Ho-ho!
134
00:06:39,068 --> 00:06:40,735
(grunts)
135
00:06:47,776 --> 00:06:48,927
Hmm.
136
00:06:48,994 --> 00:06:51,062
I kind of want to
create my own thing.
137
00:06:51,130 --> 00:06:52,997
Do you sell any
just plain sets?
138
00:06:53,065 --> 00:06:55,166
No. We do
all the imagining for you.
139
00:06:55,234 --> 00:06:57,035
(sighs) Well, I'll
just buy one of these
140
00:06:57,102 --> 00:06:58,303
and build something
different.
141
00:06:58,370 --> 00:07:00,939
You do and you'd better
build yourself a lawyer.
142
00:07:01,006 --> 00:07:04,108
LAWYER: Miss Simpson, does
the court really need to hear
143
00:07:04,176 --> 00:07:05,510
everything that happened
144
00:07:05,578 --> 00:07:08,413
in every store
your family visited?
145
00:07:08,480 --> 00:07:12,167
Trust me, I've left a lot out
and cleaned up the swears.
146
00:07:12,234 --> 00:07:14,152
Anyway, I ran into
some schoolmates
147
00:07:14,236 --> 00:07:15,653
and thought they
might be friendly.
148
00:07:15,738 --> 00:07:18,573
That's what kids do, right,
hang out at the mall together?
149
00:07:18,641 --> 00:07:20,108
But when I went over...
150
00:07:20,176 --> 00:07:22,610
Hi, guys, what
are you doing?
151
00:07:22,678 --> 00:07:26,014
Duh, having feathers
woven into our hair.
152
00:07:26,081 --> 00:07:27,999
LISA'S BRAIN: Those girls are
snotty and shallow.
153
00:07:28,067 --> 00:07:29,167
Tell them off.
154
00:07:29,235 --> 00:07:31,152
Can I join you?
155
00:07:31,220 --> 00:07:33,121
(Lisa's brain groans)
156
00:07:33,189 --> 00:07:36,157
Lisa, how can
we put this?
157
00:07:36,225 --> 00:07:39,561
You're the reason no one wears
Silly Bandz anymore.
158
00:07:39,628 --> 00:07:42,330
Wha...?
They, they don't?
159
00:07:42,398 --> 00:07:43,531
(gasps)
160
00:07:43,599 --> 00:07:44,432
(grunts)
161
00:07:44,500 --> 00:07:45,700
What the...?
162
00:07:45,768 --> 00:07:47,068
(sighs sadly)
163
00:07:47,136 --> 00:07:48,670
(moans)
164
00:07:48,737 --> 00:07:49,737
Enough.
165
00:07:53,442 --> 00:07:54,943
I don't trust this place.
166
00:07:55,010 --> 00:07:56,611
Where are the cashiers?
167
00:07:56,662 --> 00:07:57,612
Huh?
168
00:07:57,680 --> 00:07:58,980
Oh.
169
00:07:59,048 --> 00:08:00,048
Huh?
170
00:08:00,115 --> 00:08:01,282
Oh.
171
00:08:01,350 --> 00:08:03,801
Yeah, the lightest,
most desirable computer
172
00:08:03,869 --> 00:08:07,572
in the world for the next
three weeks: the Mapple Void.
173
00:08:10,609 --> 00:08:13,962
I'll take it,
provided you charge me
174
00:08:14,029 --> 00:08:16,831
for services
that Google offers for free.
175
00:08:16,899 --> 00:08:17,865
I already have.
176
00:08:17,933 --> 00:08:19,234
Sweet.
177
00:08:20,869 --> 00:08:22,770
This computer
is so great.
178
00:08:22,838 --> 00:08:24,839
I'm watching the latest
Sofia Coppola movie
179
00:08:24,907 --> 00:08:28,243
at 20x speed to make it seem
like a normal movie.
180
00:08:28,310 --> 00:08:29,711
I think it
just froze.
181
00:08:29,778 --> 00:08:33,014
Oh, no, no, that
bird just moved.
182
00:08:33,082 --> 00:08:36,284
Uh-oh, a draggy backpack.
183
00:08:36,351 --> 00:08:38,753
I have no friends.
184
00:08:38,821 --> 00:08:42,023
Aw, sweetie, hey,
why don't you make friends
185
00:08:42,091 --> 00:08:43,758
with my new computer?
186
00:08:43,826 --> 00:08:45,426
- Okay.
- Let me just finish downloading
187
00:08:45,494 --> 00:08:47,161
the complete works
of Shakespeare.
188
00:08:47,229 --> 00:08:51,232
(humming)
189
00:08:51,300 --> 00:08:52,567
(sneaky chuckle)
190
00:08:52,635 --> 00:08:55,136
Now who's the greatest writer
of all time?
191
00:08:59,074 --> 00:09:01,409
I'd have more friends
if I knew what people liked,
192
00:09:01,477 --> 00:09:03,978
but I won't know what people
like unless I'm their friend.
193
00:09:04,046 --> 00:09:05,380
It's a conundrum.
194
00:09:05,447 --> 00:09:06,848
Helpful hint: If
you want friends,
195
00:09:06,915 --> 00:09:08,650
don't use words
like "conundrum."
196
00:09:08,717 --> 00:09:09,717
(phone rings)
197
00:09:09,785 --> 00:09:10,785
JIMBO:
Co-what-drum?
198
00:09:10,853 --> 00:09:11,953
Jimbo heard me say it.
199
00:09:12,021 --> 00:09:12,687
I'm dead.
200
00:09:21,880 --> 00:09:23,281
Hmm.
201
00:09:29,672 --> 00:09:32,407
It's easier to be friends
with lots of people online
202
00:09:32,474 --> 00:09:34,676
than one person in person.
203
00:09:34,743 --> 00:09:36,978
What if I started
an online meeting place
204
00:09:37,046 --> 00:09:41,015
where all are equal
and I am the undisputed center?
205
00:09:42,584 --> 00:09:43,801
(both grunting)
206
00:09:43,886 --> 00:09:46,521
How's this
for a conundrum?
207
00:09:46,588 --> 00:09:48,306
It's not really
a conundrum.
208
00:09:48,374 --> 00:09:51,042
Sit at my feet
and I will elaborate.
209
00:09:55,052 --> 00:09:58,909
So, to summarize, Your Honor,
Lisa Simpson created
210
00:09:58,910 --> 00:10:01,579
this "social network"
211
00:10:01,646 --> 00:10:04,782
because she had
no friends.
212
00:10:04,850 --> 00:10:06,751
No, that is
not true.
213
00:10:06,818 --> 00:10:08,686
I...
May I remind you you're under oath?
214
00:10:08,754 --> 00:10:10,254
All right
already.
215
00:10:10,322 --> 00:10:11,589
I had no
friends.
216
00:10:11,656 --> 00:10:15,259
With a attitude like that,
I wouldn't be her friend.
217
00:10:15,327 --> 00:10:18,162
Life is
too dang short.
218
00:10:18,230 --> 00:10:21,399
So, since I had no friends,
I assembled a motley crew
219
00:10:21,466 --> 00:10:24,301
of the friendless to help me
construct my social network.
220
00:10:24,369 --> 00:10:25,569
Did we become friends?
221
00:10:25,637 --> 00:10:26,570
No.
222
00:10:26,638 --> 00:10:28,305
(overlapping chatter)
223
00:10:31,710 --> 00:10:34,495
As the CEO of SpringFace,
I want you all to have fun
224
00:10:34,563 --> 00:10:35,796
as you write source code
225
00:10:35,864 --> 00:10:37,998
until you fall asleep
at your consoles.
226
00:10:38,066 --> 00:10:39,366
(all agreeing)
Delightful.
227
00:10:39,434 --> 00:10:42,703
Here's my favorite
computer game: Angry Nerds.
228
00:10:42,771 --> 00:10:45,005
(squawks)
229
00:10:45,073 --> 00:10:46,340
(all snorting
like pigs)
230
00:10:46,408 --> 00:10:50,511
Nelson, is there any way
I could be your friend?
231
00:10:50,579 --> 00:10:53,080
The only way
I would be your friend
232
00:10:53,148 --> 00:10:55,766
is if I could click a box
under your picture saying
233
00:10:55,834 --> 00:10:58,135
"Accept friendship request
from."
234
00:10:58,203 --> 00:11:01,605
Nelson, you've just given us
the template for our site.
235
00:11:01,673 --> 00:11:03,674
I don't care.
236
00:11:03,742 --> 00:11:05,009
(grunts)
237
00:11:05,076 --> 00:11:06,911
(clatter like bowling pins)
238
00:11:06,978 --> 00:11:08,712
(groans)
239
00:11:10,081 --> 00:11:12,450
If we don't move, his
odds of getting us both
240
00:11:12,534 --> 00:11:14,869
are 374 to one.
241
00:11:16,204 --> 00:11:17,955
Ooh-oo-ooh, ooh.
242
00:11:18,023 --> 00:11:20,174
(grunts)
Bye.
243
00:11:20,242 --> 00:11:22,743
(keyboards clatter)
244
00:11:22,811 --> 00:11:24,378
Now, to skip ahead,
245
00:11:24,446 --> 00:11:27,631
your diabolical plan
was an instant success.
246
00:11:27,699 --> 00:11:29,950
I never said it was diabolical.
247
00:11:30,018 --> 00:11:31,318
Withdrawn.
248
00:11:33,388 --> 00:11:35,422
This social network
quickly unified
249
00:11:35,490 --> 00:11:39,059
the disparate children
of Springfield Unified.
250
00:11:39,127 --> 00:11:42,112
Oh, I just got invited
to make out with Shauna.
251
00:11:42,180 --> 00:11:43,280
See?
252
00:11:43,348 --> 00:11:45,716
That went out to 200 guys.
253
00:11:45,784 --> 00:11:47,117
(groans)
254
00:11:47,185 --> 00:11:48,719
And seven girls.
255
00:11:48,787 --> 00:11:49,920
(brightly):
Oh...
256
00:11:49,988 --> 00:11:51,689
Santa's Little Helper's friends
257
00:11:51,756 --> 00:11:53,424
with Snowball Two?
258
00:11:53,492 --> 00:11:55,392
Now I've seen everything.
259
00:11:55,460 --> 00:11:58,629
Ha, all my friends
have birthdays this year.
260
00:11:58,697 --> 00:11:59,663
(typing)
261
00:11:59,731 --> 00:12:01,265
(click)
262
00:12:01,333 --> 00:12:03,534
(chuckles)
I just un-friended Skinner
263
00:12:03,602 --> 00:12:04,702
Doggone it.
264
00:12:04,769 --> 00:12:05,870
I'm less popular
265
00:12:05,937 --> 00:12:07,471
than the hornet's nest
in the gym.
266
00:12:07,539 --> 00:12:09,807
You said you were
getting rid of that nest.
267
00:12:09,875 --> 00:12:11,809
We trade the honey
for chalk and yardsticks.
268
00:12:11,877 --> 00:12:13,210
Hornets make honey?
269
00:12:13,278 --> 00:12:15,613
Better than wasp honey,
not as good as bee.
270
00:12:15,680 --> 00:12:17,248
Is this how you
talk on dates?
271
00:12:17,315 --> 00:12:18,916
I wish my dates
were this interesting.
272
00:12:20,519 --> 00:12:21,519
Hit refresh.
273
00:12:21,586 --> 00:12:22,887
(click)
Hit refresh.
274
00:12:22,954 --> 00:12:24,822
(gasps)
I have a thousand friends.
275
00:12:24,890 --> 00:12:26,757
And only eight
of them are Milhouse.
276
00:12:26,825 --> 00:12:28,192
A thousand kids?
277
00:12:28,260 --> 00:12:30,394
If you could get each of
them to send you a dollar,
278
00:12:30,462 --> 00:12:31,896
you'd be a millionaire.
279
00:12:31,963 --> 00:12:34,265
Well, it's not just
kids using SpringFace,
280
00:12:34,332 --> 00:12:37,067
it's moms
like me, Marge.
281
00:12:37,135 --> 00:12:39,270
Wait a minute,
grownups are on this?
282
00:12:39,337 --> 00:12:41,105
Yeah, look.
283
00:12:47,662 --> 00:12:49,513
We've got to thank you, kiddo.
284
00:12:49,598 --> 00:12:52,066
We've gotten so much more
action since we signed up
285
00:12:52,133 --> 00:12:53,868
and used this picture
of ourselves.
286
00:12:53,935 --> 00:12:55,169
(raspy chuckling)
287
00:12:55,237 --> 00:12:56,537
That's not you.
You can see
288
00:12:56,605 --> 00:12:59,790
our reflection
in the sunglasses.
289
00:12:59,858 --> 00:13:01,792
(chuckling)
290
00:13:01,860 --> 00:13:04,895
Wow, I've created something
incredibly popular.
291
00:13:04,963 --> 00:13:06,297
And I've created something
292
00:13:06,364 --> 00:13:08,866
that created something
incredibly popular.
293
00:13:08,934 --> 00:13:10,834
And I created
an alcoholic hippo.
294
00:13:10,902 --> 00:13:12,436
You never showed it to me.
295
00:13:12,504 --> 00:13:14,538
A stupid alcoholic hippo.
296
00:13:14,606 --> 00:13:15,573
I still want to see it.
297
00:13:15,640 --> 00:13:17,207
There is no hippo.
298
00:13:17,275 --> 00:13:18,442
Then why did you say it?
299
00:13:18,510 --> 00:13:19,944
'Cause you're the hippo.
300
00:13:20,011 --> 00:13:21,378
Are you just saying that
301
00:13:21,446 --> 00:13:23,147
'cause you don't want
me to see the hippo?
302
00:13:23,214 --> 00:13:24,748
I don't have a hippo!
303
00:13:28,594 --> 00:13:32,003
And so, this so-called
"SpringFace"
304
00:13:32,004 --> 00:13:34,805
spread from the world
of children to adults.
305
00:13:34,873 --> 00:13:37,642
Man, this Web site
makes talking drunk
306
00:13:37,709 --> 00:13:39,777
to my wife so much safer.
307
00:13:39,845 --> 00:13:42,146
I am sitting here...
308
00:13:42,214 --> 00:13:44,982
zero sheets to the wind...
309
00:13:45,050 --> 00:13:46,851
(sneaky chuckle)
310
00:13:46,919 --> 00:13:48,920
HOMER: ...counting the moments
to closing time
311
00:13:48,987 --> 00:13:51,122
when I can stumble home to you.
312
00:13:51,190 --> 00:13:52,790
Another round, Moe.
313
00:13:52,858 --> 00:13:54,492
Uh-oh, did I type that?
314
00:13:54,560 --> 00:13:56,294
Delete! Delete!
315
00:13:56,361 --> 00:13:58,729
Hm, typing "delete"
does not delete.
316
00:13:58,797 --> 00:14:00,131
(puzzled groan)
317
00:14:00,199 --> 00:14:04,068
It is gratifying to see
all of you bowing in prayer,
318
00:14:04,136 --> 00:14:07,772
the light of God
shining on your faces.
319
00:14:07,839 --> 00:14:11,676
Uh-oh, Bernice Hibbert keeps
"liking" Bumblebee Man'sos.
320
00:14:11,743 --> 00:14:13,578
That's how it starts.
321
00:14:13,645 --> 00:14:14,879
Tsk-tsk-tsk-tsk-tsk.
322
00:14:14,947 --> 00:14:17,982
Why did I make this church
a Wi-Fi hotspot?
323
00:14:18,050 --> 00:14:20,685
(groans)
If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.
324
00:14:20,752 --> 00:14:23,754
Let's see, which Muppet am I?
325
00:14:23,822 --> 00:14:25,089
Beaker?
326
00:14:25,157 --> 00:14:26,824
Hm, I guess that's fair.
327
00:14:26,892 --> 00:14:28,659
Friend, friend,
328
00:14:28,727 --> 00:14:30,828
awaiting reply, friend...
329
00:14:30,896 --> 00:14:32,196
Sherri? Terri?
330
00:14:32,247 --> 00:14:33,297
Hopscotch?
331
00:14:33,365 --> 00:14:34,332
Double Dutch?
332
00:14:34,383 --> 00:14:35,416
Ringolivio?
333
00:14:35,484 --> 00:14:37,368
Anyone?
334
00:14:40,472 --> 00:14:42,773
Oh, I have a thousand friends,
335
00:14:42,841 --> 00:14:44,609
and I feel more alone than ever.
336
00:14:44,676 --> 00:14:46,077
Whee!
337
00:14:46,144 --> 00:14:48,079
I am trying to
set a mood here.
338
00:14:48,146 --> 00:14:49,513
(somberly):
Whee.
339
00:14:49,581 --> 00:14:51,482
So, to sum up,
340
00:14:51,550 --> 00:14:53,050
Lisa's social network
341
00:14:53,118 --> 00:14:55,937
turned into the biggest
Internet failure since...
342
00:14:56,004 --> 00:14:58,005
(chuckles)
Well, there've been so many.
343
00:14:58,073 --> 00:14:59,824
"Ask Jeeves," anyone?
344
00:14:59,891 --> 00:15:03,394
(raucous laughter)
345
00:15:12,487 --> 00:15:14,372
(horse neighs)
346
00:15:21,258 --> 00:15:24,927
And so SpringFace became
too big to control,
347
00:15:24,995 --> 00:15:28,131
just like the 60-foot baby
in my self-published novel,
348
00:15:28,198 --> 00:15:29,699
The 60 Ft. Baby.
349
00:15:29,767 --> 00:15:30,700
Order it online now,
350
00:15:30,768 --> 00:15:31,868
while you can still cheat
351
00:15:31,935 --> 00:15:33,136
the government on sales tax.
352
00:15:33,203 --> 00:15:36,306
(clears throat)
As I was saying,
353
00:15:36,373 --> 00:15:39,375
SpringFace was used
in ways I never expected.
354
00:15:39,443 --> 00:15:41,010
(typing)
355
00:15:41,078 --> 00:15:43,713
(video game gunfire)
356
00:15:43,781 --> 00:15:46,632
Thanks for SpringFacing me
your head cleaver, Bart.
357
00:15:46,700 --> 00:15:48,634
(screaming)
358
00:15:48,702 --> 00:15:50,186
(magazine reloading)
359
00:15:50,237 --> 00:15:51,154
(gunfire)
360
00:15:51,221 --> 00:15:53,072
(screaming)
361
00:15:53,140 --> 00:15:55,675
Check this out: I'm hiding a
bomb in this pile of corpses,
362
00:15:55,743 --> 00:15:57,343
so when Kearney
loots their ammo,
363
00:15:57,411 --> 00:15:59,429
he gets a face full
of ass shrapnel.
364
00:15:59,496 --> 00:16:00,797
(explosion)
365
00:16:00,864 --> 00:16:02,699
Damn, I got ass-shrapped!
366
00:16:02,766 --> 00:16:03,916
(groans)
367
00:16:06,003 --> 00:16:07,570
(tires squealing)
368
00:16:07,621 --> 00:16:08,838
What the...?!
369
00:16:08,905 --> 00:16:10,456
That idiot cut me off.
370
00:16:10,541 --> 00:16:12,408
(camera clicks)
I'm gonna run his plates,
371
00:16:12,459 --> 00:16:15,878
find out who he is, then change
his SpringFace profile picture
372
00:16:15,929 --> 00:16:17,263
to a shot of a monkey.
373
00:16:17,348 --> 00:16:18,798
(chuckle
Get that, Marge?
374
00:16:18,882 --> 00:16:20,249
A monkey!
375
00:16:20,300 --> 00:16:22,585
Homer, watch the road.
Right.
376
00:16:22,636 --> 00:16:25,688
Status update: Homer...
is... watching... the...
377
00:16:25,756 --> 00:16:26,689
(shrieks)
378
00:16:26,757 --> 00:16:28,124
(tires screeching, thud)
379
00:16:28,192 --> 00:16:29,809
(tires squealing, crashing)
380
00:16:29,893 --> 00:16:31,110
(metal crunching)
381
00:16:33,981 --> 00:16:35,498
Dislike! Dislike!
382
00:16:35,566 --> 00:16:36,883
(thud)
383
00:16:36,950 --> 00:16:37,950
(sirens wail)
384
00:16:42,473 --> 00:16:44,090
(sirens wailing,
tires squealing)
385
00:16:44,158 --> 00:16:46,125
(tires screeching,
cars crashing, glass shattering)
386
00:16:47,311 --> 00:16:48,878
Somebody call 911!
387
00:16:48,945 --> 00:16:51,097
I don't know how to use
the phone on my phone.
388
00:16:52,866 --> 00:16:54,851
Hey, did you guys get
my picture of the fire?
389
00:16:54,918 --> 00:16:56,002
Yeah, I did;
nice grab.
390
00:16:56,070 --> 00:16:57,453
I didn't get it yet.
391
00:16:57,504 --> 00:16:58,688
Yeah, funny
how that works.
392
00:16:58,756 --> 00:17:01,724
Lisa Simpson, can you
give us any reason
393
00:17:01,792 --> 00:17:05,311
why the city should not force
you to shut down your site?
394
00:17:05,379 --> 00:17:08,481
I know it's awful and insular
395
00:17:08,549 --> 00:17:11,951
and caused 35 deaths,
but I had friends.
396
00:17:12,019 --> 00:17:14,353
Four digits of friends!
397
00:17:14,421 --> 00:17:16,989
I had a friend in common
with Malcolm Gladwell.
398
00:17:17,057 --> 00:17:18,925
He friends everybody.
399
00:17:18,992 --> 00:17:19,859
(quietly):
Fine.
400
00:17:19,927 --> 00:17:21,244
I'll shut down the site.
401
00:17:21,311 --> 00:17:28,217
♪ When you were here before
402
00:17:28,285 --> 00:17:30,353
♪ Couldn't look you in the eye
403
00:17:30,421 --> 00:17:33,890
Time to get a life.
404
00:17:33,957 --> 00:17:40,029
♪ You're just like an angel
405
00:17:40,097 --> 00:17:43,266
♪ Your skin makes me cry
406
00:17:43,333 --> 00:17:45,835
(mimic guns firing)
407
00:17:45,903 --> 00:17:47,470
We don't need your
crummy Web site.
408
00:17:47,538 --> 00:17:49,305
We can make
anything into guns.
409
00:17:49,373 --> 00:17:50,656
(mimic guns shooting)
410
00:17:51,892 --> 00:17:53,092
JANEY:
Lisa.
411
00:17:53,160 --> 00:17:54,894
Lisa!
412
00:17:54,962 --> 00:17:57,096
Want to play Marco
Polo with us?
413
00:17:57,164 --> 00:17:59,482
We just realized you don't
have to play in a pool.
414
00:17:59,550 --> 00:18:00,917
You really want me?
415
00:18:00,984 --> 00:18:01,851
(sarcastically):
No.
416
00:18:01,919 --> 00:18:03,319
We want your Dad.
417
00:18:03,387 --> 00:18:04,620
Marco.
418
00:18:04,688 --> 00:18:05,922
Come on, Lisa.
419
00:18:07,791 --> 00:18:09,759
Polo!
420
00:18:09,827 --> 00:18:11,377
Fish out of water.
421
00:18:11,462 --> 00:18:13,296
(laughter)
422
00:18:15,282 --> 00:18:21,821
♪ When you were here before
423
00:18:21,889 --> 00:18:27,376
♪ Couldn't look you in the eye
424
00:18:29,012 --> 00:18:32,765
♪ You're just like an angel
425
00:18:36,887 --> 00:18:39,055
Hey, Winklevosses.
426
00:18:39,122 --> 00:18:41,457
You're gonna lose yet again.
427
00:18:41,525 --> 00:18:43,559
You should see
the expression on your faces.
428
00:18:43,627 --> 00:18:45,027
Oh, wait, you can.
429
00:18:45,095 --> 00:18:46,996
They're fat, they smoke,
430
00:18:47,064 --> 00:18:48,414
they started
training a week ago.
431
00:18:48,482 --> 00:18:49,999
Why can't we pull away?
432
00:18:50,067 --> 00:18:51,400
Because we can't
stop concentrating
433
00:18:51,468 --> 00:18:53,769
on that $65 million
Facebook settlement,
434
00:18:53,837 --> 00:18:55,404
which somehow wasn't
enough for us.
435
00:18:55,472 --> 00:18:57,240
Even though we were rich
in the first place.
436
00:18:57,307 --> 00:19:00,309
(grunts)
So long, you big babies!
437
00:19:00,377 --> 00:19:01,944
Hope you like
the taste of silver!
438
00:19:02,012 --> 00:19:04,347
Help us, Larry Summers!
439
00:19:04,414 --> 00:19:07,016
Come on, Wonder twin!
440
00:19:07,084 --> 00:19:08,918
Pull!
441
00:19:17,711 --> 00:19:21,964
NARRATOR: And now, for a Simpsons
"Show's Too Short" story.
442
00:19:22,032 --> 00:19:24,767
(thunderclap, bat screeching)
443
00:19:24,835 --> 00:19:28,070
Once there was
a young rascal named Bart.
444
00:19:28,138 --> 00:19:32,258
This lad was trouble
from the very start.
445
00:19:34,761 --> 00:19:38,264
When it came to mischief,
he had a black thumb.
446
00:19:38,332 --> 00:19:42,151
It didn't hurt
that his daddy was dumb.
447
00:19:42,219 --> 00:19:44,186
And when it came
to best friends,
448
00:19:44,254 --> 00:19:46,622
it was Milhouse who picked him.
449
00:19:46,690 --> 00:19:52,411
Sometimes the sidekick,
sometimes the victim.
450
00:19:52,479 --> 00:19:56,515
Then one day
at school engulfed in ennui,
451
00:19:56,600 --> 00:20:00,486
Bart dreamed of wrapping
the place in T.P.
452
00:20:00,554 --> 00:20:03,623
So off to the discount store
they did skulk.
453
00:20:03,690 --> 00:20:07,677
With the evil intent
of buying in bulk.
454
00:20:07,744 --> 00:20:11,047
They went to the school
and put up a ladder.
455
00:20:11,114 --> 00:20:16,102
Only to wait
for Milhouse's bladder.
456
00:20:16,169 --> 00:20:20,423
All that evening
they unfurled with delight.
457
00:20:20,490 --> 00:20:23,693
And soon the school
was covered in white.
458
00:20:23,760 --> 00:20:27,013
The mischievous boys
had done their best.
459
00:20:27,097 --> 00:20:31,534
When an eagle approached,
needing a nest.
460
00:20:31,602 --> 00:20:34,971
They tried to escape
with struggles and squirms.
461
00:20:35,022 --> 00:20:39,358
But all they got
was a diet of worms.
462
00:20:39,443 --> 00:20:42,478
There they remained
to this very day.
463
00:20:42,546 --> 00:20:45,481
So now you know,
pranks do not pay.
464
00:20:45,549 --> 00:20:47,850
Simpson!
465
00:20:47,918 --> 00:20:51,918
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
Sync for 720p.web-dl.ctrlHD by sn655321
466
00:20:54,524 --> 00:20:57,259
(The Simpsons theme
performed by The Tiger Lillies)
467
00:21:31,395 --> 00:21:32,272
(song ends)
468
00:21:32,273 --> 00:21:33,140
Shh!