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00:00:46,015 --> 00:00:47,582
D'oh!
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00:00:52,796 --> 00:00:56,296
♪ The Simpsons 23x11 ♪
The D'oh-cial Network
Original Air Date on January 15, 2012
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00:00:56,321 --> 00:00:59,821
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther
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00:01:07,970 --> 00:01:09,738
D'oh!
5
00:01:27,039 --> 00:01:28,540
So what are we doing here?
6
00:01:28,608 --> 00:01:31,576
What, is it the thing where the
family runs in and sits down?
7
00:01:33,462 --> 00:01:34,696
That's it?
8
00:01:34,764 --> 00:01:37,966
We flew you in and
put you up for that?
9
00:01:38,034 --> 00:01:39,334
I, I think
we're done here.
10
00:01:39,402 --> 00:01:40,602
Paul.
11
00:01:55,501 --> 00:01:58,236
Lisa Simpson, your actions
have brought devastation
12
00:01:58,304 --> 00:01:59,604
upon this town,
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00:01:59,672 --> 00:02:02,123
and all because
of your selfish desire
14
00:02:02,174 --> 00:02:04,175
to be accepted
by others.
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00:02:05,261 --> 00:02:06,878
Leave her alone.
16
00:02:06,946 --> 00:02:08,713
That's my only
talking daughter.
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00:02:11,784 --> 00:02:13,618
Lethal inject her
on the electric chair.
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00:02:13,686 --> 00:02:17,155
Bart, it's okay to say that
at home but not in court.
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00:02:17,223 --> 00:02:18,156
Take it back.
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00:02:18,224 --> 00:02:19,658
Withdrawn.
21
00:02:19,725 --> 00:02:24,496
Now, Lisa, tell your side of the
story, and use your big voice.
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00:02:24,564 --> 00:02:26,598
Well, it all started
a couple of months ago.
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00:02:26,666 --> 00:02:27,866
Your Honor,
I'd like to request
24
00:02:27,934 --> 00:02:30,569
that everyone in the court
picture in their minds
25
00:02:30,636 --> 00:02:32,520
what the witness
is describing.
26
00:02:32,588 --> 00:02:34,623
I'll allow it,
but no flights of fancy.
27
00:02:34,690 --> 00:02:36,207
Like all too
many stories
28
00:02:36,292 --> 00:02:40,378
about my family, it began with
somebody watching television.
29
00:02:40,463 --> 00:02:42,247
Well, McBain,
you certainly picked
30
00:02:42,315 --> 00:02:44,516
a bad time to come
out of retirement.
31
00:02:44,584 --> 00:02:46,885
I hope you have
a COBRA plan.
32
00:02:48,854 --> 00:02:53,124
You are suffering from
a reptile dysfunction.
33
00:02:53,192 --> 00:02:55,843
Down in front.
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00:02:55,895 --> 00:02:58,513
Damn it,
why do kids have heads?
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00:02:58,564 --> 00:03:01,866
Homie, stop watching the movie
in the other people's car.
36
00:03:01,951 --> 00:03:04,819
Oh, but I'm invested
in the characters.
37
00:03:04,887 --> 00:03:07,789
You'll miss the turnoff
to the fancy new mall.
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00:03:07,856 --> 00:03:09,274
I make my own
turnoffs.
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00:03:12,278 --> 00:03:14,696
And that, kids, is
how you stick it
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00:03:14,747 --> 00:03:17,832
to the Towne Centre Real
Estate Investment Trust.
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00:03:17,883 --> 00:03:19,668
No, no, no.
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00:03:23,339 --> 00:03:25,006
I'll wave them off.
45
00:03:25,074 --> 00:03:27,492
No, no, no, no, let's see how
long we can keep 'em waiting.
46
00:03:27,560 --> 00:03:29,127
Everyone act like
we're buckling up to go home.
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00:03:30,096 --> 00:03:31,513
Homie.
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00:03:31,564 --> 00:03:32,847
Marge, if you were
married to Da Vinci,
49
00:03:32,915 --> 00:03:34,416
you wouldn't tell
him not to Da Vinch.
50
00:03:54,170 --> 00:03:56,171
Damn it, are you
leaving or not?!
51
00:03:56,238 --> 00:03:57,555
Leaving?
52
00:03:57,623 --> 00:03:59,724
Why on earth
would you think that?
53
00:04:03,679 --> 00:04:06,381
We totally
wasted his time.
54
00:04:06,449 --> 00:04:07,415
And ours.
55
00:04:12,621 --> 00:04:14,422
This place
is so great.
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00:04:14,490 --> 00:04:16,257
When the trolley hits you,
it doesn't even hurt.
57
00:04:22,398 --> 00:04:23,865
You try it, Maggie.
58
00:04:26,268 --> 00:04:30,689
Ooh, condos.
59
00:04:30,756 --> 00:04:32,323
Lenny, do you live here?
60
00:04:32,391 --> 00:04:33,692
Yeah, I just
moved in.
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00:04:33,759 --> 00:04:35,860
I have a Drippin' Dots
for breakfast every morning;
62
00:04:35,928 --> 00:04:38,079
at lunch, I get a massage
in front of strangers;
63
00:04:38,147 --> 00:04:40,782
and then I spend the afternoon
browsing cell phone skins.
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00:04:40,850 --> 00:04:42,417
Ever get tired
of those dancing waters?
65
00:04:47,056 --> 00:04:48,523
The day I moved in.
66
00:04:48,591 --> 00:04:50,191
So what are we all going
to do together?
67
00:04:50,259 --> 00:04:54,963
Actually, we just came to do
some shopping as a family.
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00:04:55,031 --> 00:04:56,398
Oh, no worries.
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00:04:56,465 --> 00:04:59,284
Mr. Mall can make
his own excitement.
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00:05:00,536 --> 00:05:02,837
Give me one doll
from every time period,
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00:05:02,905 --> 00:05:05,073
and set me up for a tea party
in a private room.
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00:05:05,141 --> 00:05:08,176
Lenny, you asked me to stop you
from coming back in here.
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00:05:08,244 --> 00:05:09,861
Let me help you.
74
00:05:09,929 --> 00:05:13,431
You can help me by giving
me Ellis Island Emily.
75
00:05:13,499 --> 00:05:16,034
Hi, dear, I'm your Uncle Lenny.
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00:05:16,102 --> 00:05:17,769
I'm going to buy you
an all-new wardrobe,
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00:05:17,837 --> 00:05:19,921
fix your teeth,
send you to the best schools,
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00:05:19,989 --> 00:05:21,956
and you're going to hate
and resent me for it
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00:05:22,024 --> 00:05:24,225
'cause you're an American now.
80
00:05:25,694 --> 00:05:28,663
I was hanging on to these
gift cards as investments,
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00:05:28,731 --> 00:05:30,999
but then half the companies
went out of business.
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00:05:31,067 --> 00:05:32,917
Better sort those out.
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00:05:37,389 --> 00:05:39,724
Aw...
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00:05:48,183 --> 00:05:50,068
Aw...
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00:05:53,188 --> 00:05:54,139
D'oh!
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00:05:54,206 --> 00:05:55,090
Do-over.
87
00:05:55,157 --> 00:05:56,658
Hmm.
88
00:05:56,709 --> 00:05:57,675
Whoo-hoo!
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00:06:00,312 --> 00:06:02,797
Unspool it
into my mouth
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00:06:02,865 --> 00:06:05,567
till that card
is at zero.
91
00:06:05,634 --> 00:06:07,469
Draw the curtain.
92
00:06:16,612 --> 00:06:18,446
Sir, as a complexion
scientist,
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00:06:18,514 --> 00:06:20,782
I must advise you
against using any more.
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00:06:20,850 --> 00:06:23,301
This is the most powerful
hydrator we sell.
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00:06:23,369 --> 00:06:25,487
Less blathering,
more slathering.
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00:06:29,175 --> 00:06:30,992
Hey!
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00:06:31,060 --> 00:06:31,943
Watch it!
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00:06:32,027 --> 00:06:33,628
Yo, Bart dude.
99
00:06:33,696 --> 00:06:34,946
Can I get a ride
to the food court?
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00:06:35,014 --> 00:06:36,664
Hop on.
101
00:06:36,732 --> 00:06:39,000
Ho-ho!
102
00:06:47,776 --> 00:06:48,927
Hmm.
103
00:06:48,994 --> 00:06:51,062
I kind of want to
create my own thing.
104
00:06:51,130 --> 00:06:52,997
Do you sell any
just plain sets?
105
00:06:53,065 --> 00:06:55,166
No. We do
all the imagining for you.
106
00:06:55,234 --> 00:06:57,035
Well, I'll
just buy one of these
107
00:06:57,102 --> 00:06:58,303
and build something
different.
108
00:06:58,370 --> 00:07:00,939
You do and you'd better
build yourself a lawyer.
109
00:07:01,006 --> 00:07:04,108
Miss Simpson, does
the court really need to hear
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00:07:04,176 --> 00:07:05,510
everything that happened
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00:07:05,578 --> 00:07:08,413
in every store
your family visited?
112
00:07:08,480 --> 00:07:12,167
Trust me, I've left a lot out
and cleaned up the swears.
113
00:07:12,234 --> 00:07:14,152
Anyway, I ran into
some schoolmates
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00:07:14,236 --> 00:07:15,653
and thought they
might be friendly.
115
00:07:15,738 --> 00:07:18,573
That's what kids do, right,
hang out at the mall together?
116
00:07:18,641 --> 00:07:20,108
But when I went over...
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00:07:20,176 --> 00:07:22,610
Hi, guys, what
are you doing?
118
00:07:22,678 --> 00:07:26,014
Duh, having feathers
woven into our hair.
119
00:07:26,081 --> 00:07:27,999
Those girls are
snotty and shallow.
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00:07:28,067 --> 00:07:29,167
Tell them off.
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00:07:29,235 --> 00:07:31,152
Can I join you?
122
00:07:33,189 --> 00:07:36,157
Lisa, how can
we put this?
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00:07:36,225 --> 00:07:39,561
You're the reason no one wears
Silly Bandz anymore.
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00:07:39,628 --> 00:07:42,330
Wha...?
They, they don't?
125
00:07:44,500 --> 00:07:45,700
What the...?
126
00:07:48,737 --> 00:07:49,737
Enough.
127
00:07:53,442 --> 00:07:54,943
I don't trust this place.
128
00:07:55,010 --> 00:07:56,611
Where are the cashiers?
129
00:07:56,662 --> 00:07:57,612
Huh?
130
00:07:57,680 --> 00:07:58,980
Oh.
131
00:07:59,048 --> 00:08:00,048
Huh?
132
00:08:00,115 --> 00:08:01,282
Oh.
133
00:08:01,350 --> 00:08:03,801
Yeah, the lightest,
most desirable computer
134
00:08:03,869 --> 00:08:07,572
in the world for the next
the Mapple Void.
135
00:08:10,609 --> 00:08:13,962
I'll take it,
provided you charge me
136
00:08:14,029 --> 00:08:16,831
for services
that Google offers for free.
137
00:08:16,899 --> 00:08:17,865
I already have.
138
00:08:17,933 --> 00:08:19,234
Sweet.
139
00:08:20,869 --> 00:08:22,770
This computer
is so great.
140
00:08:22,838 --> 00:08:24,839
I'm watching the latest
Sofia Coppola movie
141
00:08:24,907 --> 00:08:28,243
at 20x speed to make it seem
like a normal movie.
142
00:08:28,310 --> 00:08:29,711
I think it
just froze.
143
00:08:29,778 --> 00:08:33,014
Oh, no, no, that
bird just moved.
144
00:08:33,082 --> 00:08:36,284
Uh-oh, a draggy backpack.
145
00:08:36,351 --> 00:08:38,753
I have no friends.
146
00:08:38,821 --> 00:08:42,023
Aw, sweetie, hey,
why don't you make friends
147
00:08:42,091 --> 00:08:43,758
with my new computer?
148
00:08:43,826 --> 00:08:45,426
- Okay.
- Let me just finish downloading
149
00:08:45,494 --> 00:08:47,161
the complete works
of Shakespeare.
150
00:08:52,635 --> 00:08:55,136
Now who's the greatest writer
of all time?
151
00:08:59,074 --> 00:09:01,409
I'd have more friends
if I knew what people liked,
152
00:09:01,477 --> 00:09:03,978
but I won't know what people
like unless I'm their friend.
153
00:09:04,046 --> 00:09:05,380
It's a conundrum.
154
00:09:05,447 --> 00:09:06,848
If
you want friends,
155
00:09:06,915 --> 00:09:08,650
don't use words
like "conundrum."
156
00:09:09,785 --> 00:09:10,785
Co-what-drum?
157
00:09:10,853 --> 00:09:11,953
Jimbo heard me say it.
158
00:09:12,021 --> 00:09:12,687
I'm dead.
159
00:09:21,880 --> 00:09:23,281
Hmm.
160
00:09:29,672 --> 00:09:32,407
It's easier to be friends
with lots of people online
161
00:09:32,474 --> 00:09:34,676
than one person in person.
162
00:09:34,743 --> 00:09:36,978
What if I started
an online meeting place
163
00:09:37,046 --> 00:09:41,015
where all are equal
and I am the undisputed center?
164
00:09:43,886 --> 00:09:46,521
How's this
for a conundrum?
165
00:09:46,588 --> 00:09:48,306
It's not really
a conundrum.
166
00:09:48,374 --> 00:09:51,042
Sit at my feet
and I will elaborate.
167
00:09:55,826 --> 00:09:59,683
So, to summarize, Your Honor,
Lisa Simpson created
168
00:09:59,684 --> 00:10:02,353
this "social network"
169
00:10:02,418 --> 00:10:05,258
because she had
no friends.
170
00:10:05,303 --> 00:10:07,204
No, that is
not true.
171
00:10:07,271 --> 00:10:09,139
I...
May I remind you you're under oath?
172
00:10:09,207 --> 00:10:10,707
All right
already.
173
00:10:10,775 --> 00:10:12,042
I had no
friends.
174
00:10:12,109 --> 00:10:15,712
With a attitude like that,
I wouldn't be her friend.
175
00:10:15,780 --> 00:10:18,615
Life is
too dang short.
176
00:10:18,683 --> 00:10:21,852
So, since I had no friends,
I assembled a motley crew
177
00:10:21,919 --> 00:10:24,754
of the friendless to help me
construct my social network.
178
00:10:24,822 --> 00:10:26,022
Did we become friends?
179
00:10:26,090 --> 00:10:27,023
No.
180
00:10:32,163 --> 00:10:34,948
As the CEO of SpringFace,
I want you all to have fun
181
00:10:35,016 --> 00:10:36,249
as you write source code
182
00:10:36,317 --> 00:10:38,451
until you fall asleep
at your consoles.
183
00:10:38,519 --> 00:10:39,819
Delightful.
184
00:10:39,887 --> 00:10:43,156
Here's my favorite
Angry Nerds.
185
00:10:46,861 --> 00:10:50,964
Nelson, is there any way
I could be your friend?
186
00:10:51,032 --> 00:10:53,533
The only way
I would be your friend
187
00:10:53,601 --> 00:10:56,219
is if I could click a box
under your picture saying
188
00:10:56,287 --> 00:10:58,588
"Accept friendship request
from."
189
00:10:58,656 --> 00:11:02,058
Nelson, you've just given us
the template for our site.
190
00:11:02,126 --> 00:11:04,127
I don't care.
191
00:11:10,534 --> 00:11:12,903
If we don't move, his
odds of getting us both
192
00:11:12,987 --> 00:11:15,322
are 374 to one.
193
00:11:16,657 --> 00:11:18,408
Ooh-oo-ooh, ooh.
194
00:11:18,476 --> 00:11:20,627
Bye.
195
00:11:23,264 --> 00:11:24,831
Now, to skip ahead,
196
00:11:24,899 --> 00:11:28,084
your diabolical plan
was an instant success.
197
00:11:28,152 --> 00:11:30,403
I never said it was diabolical.
198
00:11:30,471 --> 00:11:31,771
Withdrawn.
199
00:11:33,841 --> 00:11:35,875
This social network
quickly unified
200
00:11:35,943 --> 00:11:39,512
the disparate children
of Springfield Unified.
201
00:11:39,580 --> 00:11:42,565
Oh, I just got invited
to make out with Shauna.
202
00:11:42,633 --> 00:11:43,733
See?
203
00:11:43,801 --> 00:11:46,169
That went out to 200 guys.
204
00:11:47,638 --> 00:11:49,172
And seven girls.
205
00:11:49,240 --> 00:11:50,373
Oh...
206
00:11:50,441 --> 00:11:52,142
Santa's Little Helper's friends
207
00:11:52,209 --> 00:11:53,877
with Snowball Two?
208
00:11:53,945 --> 00:11:55,845
Now I've seen everything.
209
00:11:55,913 --> 00:11:59,082
Ha, all my friends
have birthdays this year.
210
00:12:01,786 --> 00:12:03,987
I just un-friended Skinner
211
00:12:04,055 --> 00:12:05,155
Doggone it.
212
00:12:05,222 --> 00:12:06,323
I'm less popular
213
00:12:06,390 --> 00:12:07,924
than the hornet's nest
in the gym.
214
00:12:07,992 --> 00:12:10,260
You said you were
getting rid of that nest.
215
00:12:10,328 --> 00:12:12,262
We trade the honey
for chalk and yardsticks.
216
00:12:12,330 --> 00:12:13,663
Hornets make honey?
217
00:12:13,731 --> 00:12:16,066
Better than wasp honey,
not as good as bee.
218
00:12:16,133 --> 00:12:17,701
Is this how you
talk on dates?
219
00:12:17,768 --> 00:12:19,369
I wish my dates
were this interesting.
220
00:12:20,972 --> 00:12:21,972
Hit refresh.
221
00:12:22,039 --> 00:12:23,340
Hit refresh.
222
00:12:23,407 --> 00:12:25,275
I have a thousand friends.
223
00:12:25,343 --> 00:12:27,210
And only eight
of them are Milhouse.
224
00:12:27,278 --> 00:12:28,645
A thousand kids?
225
00:12:28,713 --> 00:12:30,847
If you could get each of
them to send you a dollar,
226
00:12:30,915 --> 00:12:32,349
you'd be a millionaire.
227
00:12:32,416 --> 00:12:34,718
Well, it's not just
kids using SpringFace,
228
00:12:34,785 --> 00:12:37,520
it's moms
like me, Marge.
229
00:12:37,588 --> 00:12:39,723
Wait a minute,
grownups are on this?
230
00:12:39,790 --> 00:12:41,558
Yeah, look.
231
00:12:48,115 --> 00:12:49,966
We've got to thank you, kiddo.
232
00:12:50,051 --> 00:12:52,519
We've gotten so much more
action since we signed up
233
00:12:52,586 --> 00:12:54,321
and used this picture
of ourselves.
234
00:12:55,690 --> 00:12:56,990
That's not you.
You can see
235
00:12:57,058 --> 00:13:00,243
our reflection
in the sunglasses.
236
00:13:02,313 --> 00:13:05,348
Wow, I've created something
incredibly popular.
237
00:13:05,416 --> 00:13:06,750
And I've created something
238
00:13:06,817 --> 00:13:09,319
that created something
incredibly popular.
239
00:13:09,387 --> 00:13:11,287
And I created
an alcoholic hippo.
240
00:13:11,355 --> 00:13:12,889
You never showed it to me.
241
00:13:12,957 --> 00:13:14,991
A stupid alcoholic hippo.
242
00:13:15,059 --> 00:13:16,026
I still want to see it.
243
00:13:16,093 --> 00:13:17,660
There is no hippo.
244
00:13:17,728 --> 00:13:18,895
Then why did you say it?
245
00:13:18,963 --> 00:13:20,397
'Cause you're the hippo.
246
00:13:20,464 --> 00:13:21,831
Are you just saying that
247
00:13:21,899 --> 00:13:23,600
'cause you don't want
me to see the hippo?
248
00:13:23,667 --> 00:13:25,201
I don't have a hippo!
249
00:13:29,047 --> 00:13:32,456
And so, this so-called
"SpringFace"
250
00:13:32,457 --> 00:13:35,258
spread from the world
of children to adults.
251
00:13:35,326 --> 00:13:38,095
Man, this Web site
makes talking drunk
252
00:13:38,162 --> 00:13:40,230
to my wife so much safer.
253
00:13:40,298 --> 00:13:42,599
I am sitting here...
254
00:13:42,667 --> 00:13:45,435
zero sheets to the wind...
255
00:13:47,372 --> 00:13:49,373
...counting the moments
to closing time
256
00:13:49,440 --> 00:13:51,575
when I can stumble home to you.
257
00:13:51,643 --> 00:13:53,243
Another round, Moe.
258
00:13:53,311 --> 00:13:54,945
Uh-oh, did I type that?
259
00:13:55,013 --> 00:13:56,747
Delete! Delete!
260
00:13:56,814 --> 00:13:59,182
Hm, typing "delete"
does not delete.
261
00:14:00,652 --> 00:14:04,521
It is gratifying to see
all of you bowing in prayer,
262
00:14:04,589 --> 00:14:08,225
the light of God
shining on your faces.
263
00:14:08,292 --> 00:14:12,129
Uh-oh, Bernice Hibbert keeps
"liking" Bumblebee Man'sos.
264
00:14:12,196 --> 00:14:14,031
That's how it starts.
265
00:14:14,098 --> 00:14:15,332
Tsk-tsk-tsk-tsk-tsk.
266
00:14:15,400 --> 00:14:18,435
Why did I make this church
a Wi-Fi hotspot?
267
00:14:18,503 --> 00:14:21,138
If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.
268
00:14:21,205 --> 00:14:24,207
Let's see, which Muppet am I?
269
00:14:24,275 --> 00:14:25,542
Beaker?
270
00:14:25,610 --> 00:14:27,277
Hm, I guess that's fair.
271
00:14:27,345 --> 00:14:29,112
Friend, friend,
272
00:14:29,180 --> 00:14:31,281
awaiting reply, friend...
273
00:14:31,349 --> 00:14:32,649
Sherri? Terri?
274
00:14:32,700 --> 00:14:33,750
Hopscotch?
275
00:14:33,818 --> 00:14:34,785
Double Dutch?
276
00:14:34,836 --> 00:14:35,869
Ringolivio?
277
00:14:35,937 --> 00:14:37,821
Anyone?
278
00:14:40,925 --> 00:14:43,226
Oh, I have a thousand friends,
279
00:14:43,294 --> 00:14:45,062
and I feel more alone than ever.
280
00:14:45,129 --> 00:14:46,530
Whee!
281
00:14:46,597 --> 00:14:48,532
I am trying to
set a mood here.
282
00:14:48,599 --> 00:14:49,966
Whee.
283
00:14:50,034 --> 00:14:51,935
So, to sum up,
284
00:14:52,003 --> 00:14:53,503
Lisa's social network
285
00:14:53,571 --> 00:14:56,390
turned into the biggest
Internet failure since...
286
00:14:56,457 --> 00:14:58,458
Well, there've been so many.
287
00:14:58,526 --> 00:15:00,277
"Ask Jeeves," anyone?
288
00:15:21,711 --> 00:15:25,380
And so SpringFace became
too big to control,
289
00:15:25,448 --> 00:15:28,584
just like the 60-foot baby
in my self-published novel,
290
00:15:28,651 --> 00:15:30,152
The 60 Ft. Baby.
291
00:15:30,220 --> 00:15:31,153
Order it online now,
292
00:15:31,221 --> 00:15:32,321
while you can still cheat
293
00:15:32,388 --> 00:15:33,589
the government on sales tax.
294
00:15:33,656 --> 00:15:36,759
As I was saying,
295
00:15:36,826 --> 00:15:39,828
SpringFace was used
in ways I never expected.
296
00:15:44,234 --> 00:15:47,085
Thanks for SpringFacing me
your head cleaver, Bart.
297
00:15:53,593 --> 00:15:56,128
I'm hiding a
bomb in this pile of corpses,
298
00:15:56,196 --> 00:15:57,796
so when Kearney
loots their ammo,
299
00:15:57,864 --> 00:15:59,882
he gets a face full
of ass shrapnel.
300
00:16:01,317 --> 00:16:03,152
Damn, I got ass-shrapped!
301
00:16:08,074 --> 00:16:09,291
What the...?!
302
00:16:09,358 --> 00:16:10,909
That idiot cut me off.
303
00:16:10,994 --> 00:16:12,861
I'm gonna run his plates,
304
00:16:12,912 --> 00:16:16,331
find out who he is, then change
his SpringFace profile picture
305
00:16:16,382 --> 00:16:17,716
to a shot of a monkey.
306
00:16:17,801 --> 00:16:19,251
(chuckle
Get that, Marge?
307
00:16:19,335 --> 00:16:20,702
A monkey!
308
00:16:20,753 --> 00:16:23,038
Homer, watch the road.
Right.
309
00:16:23,089 --> 00:16:26,141
Homer...
is... watching... the...
310
00:16:34,434 --> 00:16:35,951
Dislike! Dislike!
311
00:16:47,764 --> 00:16:49,331
Somebody call 911!
312
00:16:49,398 --> 00:16:51,550
I don't know how to use
the phone on my phone.
313
00:16:53,319 --> 00:16:55,304
Hey, did you guys get
my picture of the fire?
314
00:16:55,371 --> 00:16:56,455
Yeah, I did;
nice grab.
315
00:16:56,523 --> 00:16:57,906
I didn't get it yet.
316
00:16:57,957 --> 00:16:59,141
Yeah, funny
how that works.
317
00:16:59,209 --> 00:17:02,177
Lisa Simpson, can you
give us any reason
318
00:17:02,245 --> 00:17:05,764
why the city should not force
you to shut down your site?
319
00:17:05,832 --> 00:17:08,934
I know it's awful and insular
320
00:17:09,002 --> 00:17:12,404
and caused 35 deaths,
but I had friends.
321
00:17:12,472 --> 00:17:14,806
Four digits of friends!
322
00:17:14,874 --> 00:17:17,442
I had a friend in common
with Malcolm Gladwell.
323
00:17:17,510 --> 00:17:19,378
He friends everybody.
324
00:17:19,445 --> 00:17:20,312
Fine.
325
00:17:20,380 --> 00:17:21,697
I'll shut down the site.
326
00:17:21,764 --> 00:17:28,670
♪ When you were here before
327
00:17:28,738 --> 00:17:30,806
♪ Couldn't look you in the eye
328
00:17:30,874 --> 00:17:34,343
Time to get a life.
329
00:17:34,410 --> 00:17:40,482
♪ You're just like an angel
330
00:17:40,550 --> 00:17:43,719
♪ Your skin makes me cry
331
00:17:46,356 --> 00:17:47,923
We don't need your
crummy Web site.
332
00:17:47,991 --> 00:17:49,758
We can make
anything into guns.
333
00:17:52,345 --> 00:17:53,545
Lisa.
334
00:17:53,613 --> 00:17:55,347
Lisa!
335
00:17:55,415 --> 00:17:57,549
Want to play Marco
Polo with us?
336
00:17:57,617 --> 00:17:59,935
We just realized you don't
have to play in a pool.
337
00:18:00,003 --> 00:18:01,370
You really want me?
338
00:18:01,437 --> 00:18:02,304
No.
339
00:18:02,372 --> 00:18:03,772
We want your Dad.
340
00:18:03,840 --> 00:18:05,073
Marco.
341
00:18:05,141 --> 00:18:06,375
Come on, Lisa.
342
00:18:08,244 --> 00:18:10,212
Polo!
343
00:18:10,280 --> 00:18:11,830
Fish out of water.
344
00:18:15,735 --> 00:18:22,274
♪ When you were here before
345
00:18:22,342 --> 00:18:27,829
♪ Couldn't look you in the eye
346
00:18:29,465 --> 00:18:33,218
♪ You're just like an angel
347
00:18:37,340 --> 00:18:39,508
Hey, Winklevosses.
348
00:18:39,575 --> 00:18:41,910
You're gonna lose yet again.
349
00:18:41,978 --> 00:18:44,012
You should see
the expression on your faces.
350
00:18:44,080 --> 00:18:45,480
Oh, wait, you can.
351
00:18:45,548 --> 00:18:47,449
They're fat, they smoke,
352
00:18:47,517 --> 00:18:48,867
they started
training a week ago.
353
00:18:48,935 --> 00:18:50,452
Why can't we pull away?
354
00:18:50,520 --> 00:18:51,853
Because we can't
stop concentrating
355
00:18:51,921 --> 00:18:54,222
on that $65 million
Facebook settlement,
356
00:18:54,290 --> 00:18:55,857
which somehow wasn't
enough for us.
357
00:18:55,925 --> 00:18:57,693
Even though we were rich
in the first place.
358
00:18:57,760 --> 00:19:00,762
So long, you big babies!
359
00:19:00,830 --> 00:19:02,397
Hope you like
the taste of silver!
360
00:19:02,465 --> 00:19:04,800
Help us, Larry Summers!
361
00:19:04,867 --> 00:19:07,469
Come on, Wonder twin!
362
00:19:07,537 --> 00:19:09,371
Pull!
363
00:19:18,164 --> 00:19:22,417
And now, for a Simpsons
"Show's Too Short" story.
364
00:19:25,288 --> 00:19:28,523
Once there was
a young rascal named Bart.
365
00:19:28,591 --> 00:19:32,711
This lad was trouble
from the very start.
366
00:19:35,214 --> 00:19:38,717
When it came to mischief,
he had a black thumb.
367
00:19:38,785 --> 00:19:42,604
It didn't hurt
that his daddy was dumb.
368
00:19:42,672 --> 00:19:44,639
And when it came
to best friends,
369
00:19:44,707 --> 00:19:47,075
it was Milhouse who picked him.
370
00:19:47,143 --> 00:19:52,864
Sometimes the sidekick,
sometimes the victim.
371
00:19:52,932 --> 00:19:56,968
Then one day
at school engulfed in ennui,
372
00:19:57,053 --> 00:20:00,939
Bart dreamed of wrapping
the place in T.P.
373
00:20:01,007 --> 00:20:04,076
So off to the discount store
they did skulk.
374
00:20:04,143 --> 00:20:08,130
With the evil intent
of buying in bulk.
375
00:20:08,197 --> 00:20:11,500
They went to the school
and put up a ladder.
376
00:20:11,567 --> 00:20:16,555
Only to wait
for Milhouse's bladder.
377
00:20:16,622 --> 00:20:20,876
All that evening
they unfurled with delight.
378
00:20:20,943 --> 00:20:24,146
And soon the school
was covered in white.
379
00:20:24,213 --> 00:20:27,466
The mischievous boys
had done their best.
380
00:20:27,550 --> 00:20:31,987
When an eagle approached,
needing a nest.
381
00:20:32,055 --> 00:20:35,424
They tried to escape
with struggles and squirms.
382
00:20:35,475 --> 00:20:39,811
But all they got
was a diet of worms.
383
00:20:39,896 --> 00:20:42,931
There they remained
to this very day.
384
00:20:42,999 --> 00:20:45,934
So now you know,
pranks do not pay.
385
00:20:46,002 --> 00:20:48,303
Simpson!
386
00:20:48,371 --> 00:20:52,371
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther
387
00:21:32,726 --> 00:21:33,593
Shh!