1
00:00:01,695 --> 00:00:03,979
You feel like trying
something new for dinner?
2
00:00:03,980 --> 00:00:06,281
Maybe Indian, Tex-Mex?
3
00:00:06,283 --> 00:00:08,417
You ever wonder how
humans would be different
4
00:00:08,419 --> 00:00:11,620
if they evolved from lizards
instead of mammals?
5
00:00:13,656 --> 00:00:15,874
Okay, let's talk
about that.
6
00:00:17,293 --> 00:00:20,012
As you know, lizards--
cold-blooded animals--
7
00:00:20,014 --> 00:00:22,097
lack the ability to
sense temperature.
8
00:00:22,099 --> 00:00:25,017
But they do move more
sluggishly when it's cold.
9
00:00:25,019 --> 00:00:27,686
So, lizard weathermen
would say things like,
10
00:00:27,688 --> 00:00:30,972
"Bring a sweater,
it's slow outside."
11
00:00:32,975 --> 00:00:36,061
I love my mind.
12
00:00:36,063 --> 00:00:37,612
We all do.
13
00:00:37,614 --> 00:00:39,013
Now, how about dinner?
14
00:00:39,015 --> 00:00:43,235
Oh, I would assume we'd enjoy
insects or smaller lizards.
15
00:00:43,237 --> 00:00:45,237
We could also pull each other's
tails off and grill them;
16
00:00:45,239 --> 00:00:47,239
they'll just grow back.
17
00:00:49,959 --> 00:00:51,025
Oh!
18
00:00:51,027 --> 00:00:54,913
My life-size cardboard
Mr. Spock is here!
19
00:00:54,915 --> 00:00:58,550
I know he wouldn't care for
an outburst of human emotion,
20
00:00:58,552 --> 00:01:01,386
but, oh, goodie, oh,
goodie, oh, goodie.
21
00:01:02,705 --> 00:01:07,876
Commander Spock requesting
permission to be unfolded.
22
00:01:07,878 --> 00:01:08,877
Excuse me.
23
00:01:08,879 --> 00:01:11,379
Permission granted, Commander.
24
00:01:12,982 --> 00:01:15,567
Which is why the more
intelligent the monkey,
25
00:01:15,569 --> 00:01:18,186
the more feces they fling.
26
00:01:19,689 --> 00:01:21,656
(knocks)
Excuse me, Amy.
27
00:01:21,658 --> 00:01:23,692
Penny, do you have plans
for dinner tonight?
28
00:01:23,694 --> 00:01:25,059
Why, you guys going somewhere?
29
00:01:25,061 --> 00:01:26,194
No, I mean just you and me.
30
00:01:26,196 --> 00:01:29,448
You mean, like a date?
31
00:01:29,450 --> 00:01:31,366
Not like a date, a date.
32
00:01:31,368 --> 00:01:35,537
Ooh...!
Ooh...!
33
00:01:35,539 --> 00:01:39,541
Um... o-okay.
34
00:01:39,543 --> 00:01:40,542
Sure.
35
00:01:40,544 --> 00:01:44,179
Ooh...!
Ooh...!
36
00:01:44,181 --> 00:01:45,430
SHELDON:
Oh, no!
37
00:01:45,432 --> 00:01:48,483
They sent the wrong Spock!
38
00:01:49,602 --> 00:01:53,221
Live long and suck it,
Zachary Quinto.
39
00:01:53,222 --> 00:01:55,422
The Big Bang Theory 5x13
The Recombination Hypothesis
Original Air Date on January 19, 2012
40
00:01:55,423 --> 00:01:57,423
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
41
00:02:21,931 --> 00:02:23,382
This is so exciting.
44
00:02:28,399 --> 00:02:31,223
How come you never invite
Sheldon and me on a double date?
45
00:02:32,788 --> 00:02:34,559
Mm, uh...
46
00:02:34,561 --> 00:02:36,545
How's it going
in there, Penny?!
47
00:02:36,547 --> 00:02:38,547
PENNY:
Just a sec.
48
00:02:39,399 --> 00:02:42,401
Too much?
49
00:02:42,403 --> 00:02:44,569
Yes.
No.
50
00:02:46,139 --> 00:02:49,074
Okay, just hang on.
51
00:02:49,076 --> 00:02:52,878
You just can't handle
her raw sexuality, can you?
52
00:02:52,880 --> 00:02:55,997
When did you and Leonard
break up?
53
00:02:55,999 --> 00:02:57,766
Uh, about two years ago.
54
00:02:57,768 --> 00:03:00,051
Why do you think
he asked you out again?
55
00:03:00,053 --> 00:03:01,002
I don't know.
56
00:03:01,004 --> 00:03:02,237
Maybe he's dying.
57
00:03:02,239 --> 00:03:04,389
That would be so romantic.
58
00:03:04,391 --> 00:03:06,508
He's not dying.
59
00:03:06,510 --> 00:03:08,460
Too bad.
60
00:03:08,462 --> 00:03:10,962
If he were, she could just
throw him in bed
61
00:03:10,964 --> 00:03:14,116
and ride him
right up until he flatlines.
62
00:03:16,986 --> 00:03:19,654
How about this?
63
00:03:19,656 --> 00:03:22,674
Maybe.
Come on.
64
00:03:22,676 --> 00:03:25,527
Yeah, okay, no.
65
00:03:25,529 --> 00:03:27,662
Do you think
you'll sleep with him tonight?
66
00:03:27,664 --> 00:03:28,997
PENNY:
Absolutely not.
67
00:03:28,999 --> 00:03:30,332
Look, we're just
gonna have dinner
68
00:03:30,334 --> 00:03:32,117
and, you know,
see how it goes.
69
00:03:32,119 --> 00:03:34,369
If he were dying,
would you sleep with him?
70
00:03:34,371 --> 00:03:35,987
What?!
71
00:03:35,989 --> 00:03:37,622
Assuming he were
dying of something
72
00:03:37,624 --> 00:03:40,342
that couldn't be
sexually transmitted.
73
00:03:40,344 --> 00:03:43,795
You know, like a spear wound
to the head.
74
00:03:43,797 --> 00:03:45,430
Okay, he is not dying.
75
00:03:45,432 --> 00:03:48,099
How do you know?
Are you a doctor?
76
00:03:48,101 --> 00:03:50,318
You can make-believe, though.
77
00:03:50,320 --> 00:03:53,472
Sometimes Howard and I pretend
that his arrhythmia is acting up
78
00:03:53,474 --> 00:03:55,173
and I'm a sexy cardiologist.
79
00:03:55,175 --> 00:04:00,395
And the naughty part is
I'm not in his HMO network.
80
00:04:02,148 --> 00:04:05,066
Screw it. I'm not gonna
make a big deal out of this.
81
00:04:05,068 --> 00:04:06,568
It's just dinner.
82
00:04:06,570 --> 00:04:08,286
With a dead man.
83
00:04:08,288 --> 00:04:09,854
(growls playfully)
84
00:04:09,856 --> 00:04:11,823
Amy, stop it.
85
00:04:11,825 --> 00:04:13,208
Oh, God, I'm so nervous.
86
00:04:13,210 --> 00:04:14,493
BERNADETTE:
Relax.
87
00:04:14,495 --> 00:04:16,578
You know Leonard's
always been crazy about you.
88
00:04:16,580 --> 00:04:17,796
It's gonna be great.
89
00:04:17,798 --> 00:04:19,414
I know, but we've finally
gotten to a place
90
00:04:19,416 --> 00:04:21,049
where we can hang out
without it being weird.
91
00:04:21,051 --> 00:04:23,051
And what if something
goes wrong? Then what?
92
00:04:23,053 --> 00:04:24,820
Guess it'll just
be Sheldon and me
93
00:04:24,822 --> 00:04:27,672
going on a double date
with Howard and Bernadette.
94
00:04:27,674 --> 00:04:31,393
Sure, we'd love that.
95
00:04:31,395 --> 00:04:35,096
Change your clothes;
we got a lot riding on this.
96
00:04:40,069 --> 00:04:42,070
Mm...
97
00:04:42,072 --> 00:04:44,623
I want to build a road,
98
00:04:44,625 --> 00:04:47,725
but I need wood.
99
00:04:47,727 --> 00:04:49,961
Do either of you fellows
have wood?
100
00:04:56,252 --> 00:04:58,470
I don't understand the laughter.
101
00:04:59,805 --> 00:05:01,239
The object of Settlers of Catan
102
00:05:01,241 --> 00:05:03,258
is to build roads
and settlements.
103
00:05:03,260 --> 00:05:04,709
To do so requires wood.
104
00:05:04,711 --> 00:05:08,230
Now, I have sheep; I need wood.
105
00:05:10,149 --> 00:05:12,267
Who has wood for my sheep?
106
00:05:12,269 --> 00:05:14,035
(both laughing)
107
00:05:15,254 --> 00:05:17,889
Okay, how do I look?
108
00:05:17,891 --> 00:05:20,559
More to the point, why
are you doing this?
109
00:05:20,561 --> 00:05:21,476
What are you talking about?
110
00:05:21,478 --> 00:05:22,944
Did you forget
what Penny did to you?
111
00:05:22,946 --> 00:05:25,196
It took you two years
and defiling my sister
112
00:05:25,198 --> 00:05:27,765
to turn that frown upside down.
113
00:05:27,767 --> 00:05:31,102
I didn't defile your sister,
we had a relationship.
114
00:05:31,104 --> 00:05:34,639
I heard you call her
Brown Sugar.
115
00:05:34,641 --> 00:05:37,475
In my book,
that's defilement.
116
00:05:37,477 --> 00:05:39,010
You want to know my opinion?
117
00:05:39,012 --> 00:05:41,446
Oh, boy, do I!
118
00:05:41,448 --> 00:05:43,615
Sarcasm?
119
00:05:43,617 --> 00:05:45,951
No.
120
00:05:45,953 --> 00:05:48,253
All right, then.
121
00:05:49,488 --> 00:05:50,955
The reason you're fixated on
122
00:05:50,957 --> 00:05:53,675
a good-natured simpleton
like Penny is that
123
00:05:53,677 --> 00:05:57,095
she's the exact opposite of
your first romantic attachment:
124
00:05:57,097 --> 00:05:59,064
your brilliant
yet intimidating mother.
125
00:05:59,066 --> 00:06:01,316
Where on earth
did you get that from?
126
00:06:01,318 --> 00:06:04,686
It's in her book,
Needy Baby, Greedy Baby.
127
00:06:06,522 --> 00:06:08,806
That doesn't make it true.
128
00:06:08,808 --> 00:06:11,526
It's called nonfiction
for a reason, Leonard.
129
00:06:11,528 --> 00:06:13,795
See you later.
130
00:06:14,664 --> 00:06:16,448
If they ever make
a movie version
131
00:06:16,450 --> 00:06:19,034
of that book, you know who
should play Leonard's mother?
132
00:06:19,036 --> 00:06:20,719
Sandra Bullock.
133
00:06:21,337 --> 00:06:22,587
Why?
134
00:06:22,589 --> 00:06:26,441
Because she's great
in everything.
135
00:06:28,994 --> 00:06:31,296
Now, where were we?
136
00:06:31,298 --> 00:06:33,465
Oh, yes.
Does anyone have any wood?
137
00:06:33,467 --> 00:06:34,516
(both snickering)
138
00:06:34,518 --> 00:06:35,833
Oh, come on!
139
00:06:35,835 --> 00:06:37,636
I just want wood.
140
00:06:37,638 --> 00:06:39,437
Why are you making it so hard?
141
00:06:39,439 --> 00:06:40,989
(both laughing)
142
00:06:48,013 --> 00:06:50,848
So, do they have a name
for a first date
143
00:06:50,850 --> 00:06:52,734
with someone
you used to go out with?
144
00:06:52,736 --> 00:06:54,819
Oh, that's a good question.
145
00:06:54,821 --> 00:06:56,354
How about "awkward"?
146
00:06:56,356 --> 00:06:59,374
Yeah, that sounds right.
147
00:06:59,376 --> 00:07:01,159
Yeah?
148
00:07:01,161 --> 00:07:04,913
Hey, how about if we pretend
we're actually on a first date?
149
00:07:04,915 --> 00:07:06,197
See how that goes.
150
00:07:06,199 --> 00:07:07,215
Okay.
151
00:07:07,217 --> 00:07:09,334
(clears throat)
152
00:07:09,336 --> 00:07:11,886
So, Polly,
tell me about yourself.
153
00:07:11,888 --> 00:07:12,921
(chuckles)
154
00:07:12,923 --> 00:07:13,922
It's Penny.
155
00:07:13,924 --> 00:07:15,873
Oh, sorry, yeah.
Awkward.
156
00:07:15,875 --> 00:07:18,209
(laughs)
157
00:07:18,211 --> 00:07:19,561
Okay, uh, let's see.
158
00:07:19,563 --> 00:07:22,814
I'm from Nebraska, and ever
since I was a little girl,
159
00:07:22,816 --> 00:07:25,400
I dreamed of moving to L.A.
and becoming a movie star.
160
00:07:25,402 --> 00:07:26,985
Anyway,
161
00:07:26,987 --> 00:07:29,771
after four years of acting
lessons and waiting tables,
162
00:07:29,773 --> 00:07:31,723
I've done
a hemorrhoid commercial
163
00:07:31,725 --> 00:07:34,409
and a production of Anne Frank
above a bowling alley.
164
00:07:34,411 --> 00:07:35,527
(chuckles)
165
00:07:35,529 --> 00:07:38,580
So, you know,
dreams do come true.
166
00:07:39,532 --> 00:07:40,498
Your turn.
167
00:07:40,500 --> 00:07:41,566
Uh, let's see.
168
00:07:41,568 --> 00:07:42,751
(clears throat)
169
00:07:42,753 --> 00:07:45,069
Uh, I am an experimental
physicist at Cal-Tech,
170
00:07:45,071 --> 00:07:48,339
most of my research is
with high-powered lasers,
171
00:07:48,341 --> 00:07:50,675
and, oh, I've just gotten
a big government grant
172
00:07:50,677 --> 00:07:53,011
to see if they can be used
to knock out
173
00:07:53,013 --> 00:07:54,129
incoming ballistic missiles.
174
00:07:54,131 --> 00:07:55,580
Wow. Can they?
175
00:07:55,582 --> 00:07:57,382
Oh, God, no.
176
00:08:00,919 --> 00:08:02,754
The money's pretty good.
177
00:08:03,939 --> 00:08:07,475
And I used the equipment
to make my own Bat-signal.
178
00:08:07,477 --> 00:08:08,610
(laughs)
179
00:08:08,612 --> 00:08:09,778
Bat-signal?
180
00:08:09,780 --> 00:08:11,229
What are you, some kind of nerd?
181
00:08:11,231 --> 00:08:14,983
Not some kind of nerd,
I'm the king of the nerds.
182
00:08:14,985 --> 00:08:16,451
(laughs)
183
00:08:18,821 --> 00:08:20,455
What does that mean?
184
00:08:20,457 --> 00:08:23,208
Uh, it means
if anyone displeases me,
185
00:08:23,210 --> 00:08:25,810
I don't help them
set up their printer.
186
00:08:25,812 --> 00:08:27,495
(laughs)
187
00:08:27,497 --> 00:08:28,997
You are so funny.
188
00:08:28,999 --> 00:08:30,215
Good.
189
00:08:30,217 --> 00:08:32,133
Remember that
when I take my shirt off.
190
00:08:32,135 --> 00:08:33,334
(both laugh)
191
00:08:35,171 --> 00:08:36,221
Leonard, this is nice.
192
00:08:36,223 --> 00:08:37,505
I'm so glad we did this.
193
00:08:37,507 --> 00:08:38,606
Me, too.
194
00:08:40,726 --> 00:08:41,793
So what do you think?
195
00:08:41,795 --> 00:08:43,061
Are we gonna get back together?
196
00:08:43,063 --> 00:08:45,680
Whoa. Not so fast.
197
00:08:45,682 --> 00:08:47,532
I'm sorry, what did I say?
198
00:08:47,534 --> 00:08:51,269
Leonard, you know I will always
have feelings for you.
199
00:08:51,271 --> 00:08:52,821
Oh, God.
What?
200
00:08:52,823 --> 00:08:54,239
You said "always."
201
00:08:54,241 --> 00:08:55,807
You'll always have
feelings for me.
202
00:08:55,809 --> 00:08:56,741
So?
203
00:08:56,743 --> 00:08:58,276
So, that sounds more like
204
00:08:58,278 --> 00:09:00,195
something you'd say
if you didn't want
205
00:09:00,197 --> 00:09:01,329
a relationship with someone.
206
00:09:01,331 --> 00:09:02,747
"This isn't working out,
207
00:09:02,749 --> 00:09:04,532
but I'll always have
feelings for you."
208
00:09:04,534 --> 00:09:06,417
"I'm sorry I slept
with your best friend,
209
00:09:06,419 --> 00:09:08,319
but I'll always have
feelings for you."
210
00:09:08,321 --> 00:09:09,788
"Here's the thing, Lisa,
211
00:09:09,790 --> 00:09:13,541
I'm into dudes now, but I'll
always have feelings for you."
212
00:09:13,543 --> 00:09:15,927
How would you say it?
213
00:09:15,929 --> 00:09:17,829
I have feelings for you.
214
00:09:17,831 --> 00:09:19,130
It's the same thing.
No, it's not.
215
00:09:19,132 --> 00:09:20,498
"Always" made it worse.
216
00:09:20,500 --> 00:09:21,499
You're overthinking this.
217
00:09:21,501 --> 00:09:22,717
No, I'm not.
Yes, you are.
218
00:09:22,719 --> 00:09:24,135
You always overthink things.
219
00:09:24,137 --> 00:09:25,854
Th-There you go.
"Always" made it worse.
220
00:09:27,623 --> 00:09:31,009
See, this is where everything
goes wrong: when we talk.
221
00:09:31,011 --> 00:09:35,780
Well, I don't know how you have
a relationship without talking.
222
00:09:35,782 --> 00:09:37,282
Hey, I went out with this guy TJ
223
00:09:37,284 --> 00:09:38,650
for eight months,
we never talked.
224
00:09:38,652 --> 00:09:40,869
To this day, I don't even know
what TJ stands for.
225
00:09:40,871 --> 00:09:43,521
Wait, if you guys
didn't talk, what--
226
00:09:43,523 --> 00:09:45,290
Never mind, stupid question.
227
00:09:48,544 --> 00:09:52,530
And now that I have
some wood,
228
00:09:52,532 --> 00:09:56,801
I'm going to begin
the erection of my settlement.
229
00:09:57,920 --> 00:10:00,421
He's got to be
doing this on purpose.
230
00:10:00,423 --> 00:10:01,973
(laughs)
231
00:10:03,893 --> 00:10:05,376
Ooh, 8:30.
232
00:10:05,378 --> 00:10:08,880
You and Penny decide to go out
and paint the town beige?
233
00:10:08,882 --> 00:10:12,049
You're 30 years old
and you live with your mother.
234
00:10:14,887 --> 00:10:16,888
I guess it didn't go well.
235
00:10:16,890 --> 00:10:18,423
We don't know that.
236
00:10:18,425 --> 00:10:19,574
Not to a certainty.
237
00:10:19,576 --> 00:10:22,327
All we know
is that Leonard is home.
238
00:10:22,329 --> 00:10:25,246
(Leonard screams)
239
00:10:25,248 --> 00:10:27,732
How about now?
240
00:10:27,734 --> 00:10:30,668
Again, not enough
evidence.
241
00:10:30,670 --> 00:10:33,705
For all we know,
he's being murdered.
242
00:10:35,708 --> 00:10:37,375
Now, back to our game.
243
00:10:37,377 --> 00:10:40,728
You were in the middle
of an erection.
244
00:10:43,866 --> 00:10:47,101
Oh, of course.
It's right here in my hand.
245
00:10:53,642 --> 00:10:55,860
(cell phone chimes)
246
00:10:57,763 --> 00:11:01,065
(grunting quietly)
247
00:11:01,067 --> 00:11:03,618
What does she want from me now?
248
00:11:06,705 --> 00:11:09,274
What's up?
249
00:11:09,276 --> 00:11:11,776
Do not overthink this.
250
00:11:19,051 --> 00:11:22,136
I don't understand.
Bup-bup-bup-bup-bup-bup-bup.
251
00:11:22,138 --> 00:11:24,505
Okay, but earlier
it seemed like...
252
00:11:24,507 --> 00:11:26,724
No talking.
253
00:11:28,177 --> 00:11:30,962
Even during? 'Cause
sometimes I have questions.
254
00:11:36,854 --> 00:11:39,753
(panting)
255
00:11:39,754 --> 00:11:43,106
Well, that was fun.
256
00:11:43,108 --> 00:11:45,892
Yeah, except for when I got
the foot cramp.
257
00:11:45,894 --> 00:11:47,593
You hung in there, though.
258
00:11:47,595 --> 00:11:50,396
There was a lot at stake.
259
00:11:50,398 --> 00:11:53,132
So what do you
want to do now?
260
00:11:53,134 --> 00:11:55,718
Well, I want to go get
my asthma inhaler,
261
00:11:55,720 --> 00:11:57,920
but it might ruin the moment.
262
00:11:57,922 --> 00:11:59,739
(grunts)
263
00:11:59,741 --> 00:12:02,742
Just, just
help me out here.
264
00:12:02,744 --> 00:12:05,411
How does a miserable date
end in sex?
265
00:12:05,413 --> 00:12:07,997
I don't know,
it's complicated.
266
00:12:07,999 --> 00:12:09,749
Well, I'm
a pretty smart guy,
267
00:12:09,751 --> 00:12:12,135
and right now my brain has
dibs on the blood supply,
268
00:12:12,137 --> 00:12:14,137
so give it a go.
269
00:12:14,139 --> 00:12:16,756
Okay, it's just,
270
00:12:16,758 --> 00:12:18,674
at the restaurant
when you said
271
00:12:18,676 --> 00:12:20,093
you wanted us to
be together again,
272
00:12:20,095 --> 00:12:24,914
it got very real very
fast and I panicked.
273
00:12:24,916 --> 00:12:26,149
Why?
274
00:12:26,151 --> 00:12:28,217
What are you
afraid of?
275
00:12:28,219 --> 00:12:29,936
Well, what if
we do go out
276
00:12:29,938 --> 00:12:32,522
and I do something stupid
and dump you again?
277
00:12:32,524 --> 00:12:33,823
What if I dump you?
278
00:12:33,825 --> 00:12:34,974
(scoffs)
279
00:12:38,245 --> 00:12:40,780
Come on, be serious.
280
00:12:40,782 --> 00:12:43,282
Well, how about
if we don't think
281
00:12:43,284 --> 00:12:45,251
about this
as a relationship?
282
00:12:45,253 --> 00:12:47,787
It could be more like
a new version of software.
283
00:12:47,789 --> 00:12:49,789
Penny and Leonard 2.0.
284
00:12:49,791 --> 00:12:52,308
We can test it internally,
shake out the bugs,
285
00:12:52,310 --> 00:12:54,110
and if we both feel
it's solid,
286
00:12:54,112 --> 00:12:56,796
then we'll roll it out
to the public.
287
00:12:56,798 --> 00:12:59,749
So we don't tell people
we're back together?
288
00:12:59,751 --> 00:13:00,716
Exactly.
289
00:13:00,718 --> 00:13:02,802
We pretend like our date
went badly.
290
00:13:02,804 --> 00:13:04,954
Well, we don't really
have to pretend.
291
00:13:04,956 --> 00:13:07,223
And we let them think
that we decided
292
00:13:07,225 --> 00:13:08,391
to just be friends
293
00:13:08,393 --> 00:13:10,309
and that everything's cool.
294
00:13:10,311 --> 00:13:11,844
Okay, great.
295
00:13:11,846 --> 00:13:12,845
(grunts softly)
296
00:13:12,847 --> 00:13:15,014
Hey, I just remembered.
297
00:13:15,016 --> 00:13:17,299
I still got one
of your inhalers.
298
00:13:19,403 --> 00:13:21,604
I can't believe
you kept this.
299
00:13:21,606 --> 00:13:24,273
Yeah, I was gonna throw it
away, but I just couldn't.
300
00:13:24,275 --> 00:13:26,859
That is so sweet.
301
00:13:26,861 --> 00:13:29,028
(sighs)
302
00:13:30,798 --> 00:13:33,132
In 25 to 30 minutes
I'm gonna show you
303
00:13:33,134 --> 00:13:35,735
how much
this means to me.
304
00:13:36,954 --> 00:13:40,206
(toilet flushes)
305
00:13:47,181 --> 00:13:47,830
Leonard?
306
00:13:47,832 --> 00:13:50,016
Yeah, hi, hi.
307
00:13:50,968 --> 00:13:52,935
How's it going?
308
00:13:52,937 --> 00:13:54,637
Uh, can't complain.
309
00:13:54,639 --> 00:13:56,606
Thanks for asking.
310
00:13:57,691 --> 00:14:00,810
Well, what were you doing out
at 3:00 in the morning?
311
00:14:00,812 --> 00:14:04,680
Well, uh, uh...
what are you doing up?
312
00:14:04,682 --> 00:14:07,283
I was using the bathroom.
313
00:14:07,285 --> 00:14:11,154
Yeah, well, so was I.
314
00:14:11,156 --> 00:14:13,289
Really?
315
00:14:13,291 --> 00:14:15,992
I didn't see you in there.
316
00:14:17,744 --> 00:14:21,914
Obviously... when I saw
that you were in ours,
317
00:14:21,916 --> 00:14:25,301
I went and used another one.
318
00:14:26,136 --> 00:14:29,005
Where?
319
00:14:29,007 --> 00:14:31,924
The, the gas station
across the street.
320
00:14:32,809 --> 00:14:34,877
In your pajamas?
321
00:14:34,879 --> 00:14:37,430
Yes.
322
00:14:37,432 --> 00:14:39,649
Without shoes?
323
00:14:40,901 --> 00:14:43,102
Yes.
324
00:14:43,887 --> 00:14:46,772
On a cold
winter's night?
325
00:14:48,609 --> 00:14:50,826
Yes.
326
00:14:53,614 --> 00:14:55,831
Seems unlikely.
327
00:14:55,833 --> 00:14:58,117
Did you bring
your asthma inhaler?
328
00:14:58,119 --> 00:15:01,504
Uh, uh, uh, yes, I did.
329
00:15:04,741 --> 00:15:06,959
Well, then,
I guess it's plausible.
330
00:15:08,045 --> 00:15:10,129
D-- hang on a
second, mister.
331
00:15:10,131 --> 00:15:11,347
What?
332
00:15:11,349 --> 00:15:16,068
After you used the facilities
at the gas station,
333
00:15:16,070 --> 00:15:17,436
did you make a purchase?
334
00:15:17,438 --> 00:15:19,138
What?
335
00:15:19,140 --> 00:15:21,724
It's customary, when
using the restroom
336
00:15:21,726 --> 00:15:25,194
at a retail establishment,
to make a small purchase.
337
00:15:25,196 --> 00:15:26,279
Did you?
338
00:15:26,281 --> 00:15:27,730
No.
339
00:15:27,732 --> 00:15:29,098
(scoffs)
340
00:15:29,100 --> 00:15:31,284
Here's two dollars.
341
00:15:34,071 --> 00:15:36,956
Go buy some beef jerky.
342
00:15:43,213 --> 00:15:46,449
I don't want beef jerky.
343
00:15:48,652 --> 00:15:50,586
It's not about you.
344
00:15:50,588 --> 00:15:53,139
It's about a poor immigrant
from Pakistan
345
00:15:53,141 --> 00:15:54,957
trying to make his way
in America
346
00:15:54,959 --> 00:15:56,392
by working the graveyard shift
347
00:15:56,394 --> 00:15:59,061
at the Colorado Boulevard
Chevron.
348
00:16:00,964 --> 00:16:03,149
Fine.
349
00:16:05,269 --> 00:16:08,237
Needy Baby, Greedy Baby indeed.
350
00:16:10,307 --> 00:16:11,907
Leonard will be here
in a moment.
351
00:16:11,909 --> 00:16:14,443
He's looking
for a different parking space.
352
00:16:14,445 --> 00:16:15,411
Why?
353
00:16:15,413 --> 00:16:16,779
We were next to a car
354
00:16:16,781 --> 00:16:19,365
with an "Ask me about my
grandchildren" bumper sticker,
355
00:16:19,367 --> 00:16:22,084
and I was afraid if we ran
into them on the way out,
356
00:16:22,086 --> 00:16:24,704
I'd be obligated
to do so.
357
00:16:25,989 --> 00:16:29,491
I'm so disappointed it didn't
work with him and Penny.
358
00:16:29,493 --> 00:16:31,160
Me, too.
359
00:16:31,162 --> 00:16:32,328
Out of deference
to them,
360
00:16:32,330 --> 00:16:35,798
let's not flaunt our
happy relationship.
361
00:16:35,800 --> 00:16:38,134
You have a keen insight
into the human heart,
362
00:16:38,136 --> 00:16:40,586
Amy Farrah Fowler.
363
00:16:41,805 --> 00:16:45,891
We are next to a Suburu with
a Gore/Lieberman bumper sticker.
364
00:16:45,893 --> 00:16:48,611
Well, I doubt they'd want to
talk about that, so we're fine.
365
00:16:50,113 --> 00:16:51,847
I'm surprised to see you here
366
00:16:51,849 --> 00:16:54,150
after it went
so badly with Penny.
367
00:16:54,152 --> 00:16:55,785
Well, hey, we're grown-ups.
368
00:16:55,787 --> 00:16:57,236
We can still be friends.
369
00:16:57,238 --> 00:16:59,538
Boy, I don't know if I
could be friends with Howie
370
00:16:59,540 --> 00:17:00,940
if we broke up.
371
00:17:00,942 --> 00:17:01,791
Why not?
372
00:17:01,793 --> 00:17:04,610
I'm a very vengeful person.
373
00:17:04,612 --> 00:17:07,079
Really?
374
00:17:07,081 --> 00:17:10,166
With access
to weaponized smallpox.
375
00:17:12,219 --> 00:17:14,170
Here you go, guys, let me get
you going with some water.
376
00:17:14,172 --> 00:17:15,755
You need menus
or you know what you want?
377
00:17:15,757 --> 00:17:17,206
Leonard knows what he wants,
but it looks
378
00:17:17,208 --> 00:17:19,158
like he's not gonna
get it from you.
379
00:17:20,210 --> 00:17:21,710
Howard.
No,
380
00:17:21,712 --> 00:17:23,095
that's okay, Bernadette.
381
00:17:23,097 --> 00:17:25,348
Sometimes these things
just don't work out.
382
00:17:25,350 --> 00:17:26,816
Yeah, it's all good.
383
00:17:26,818 --> 00:17:29,769
We-We'll always have
feelings for each other.
384
00:17:31,388 --> 00:17:34,223
Oh, that's nice.
385
00:17:34,225 --> 00:17:37,393
See, she knew
what "always" meant.
386
00:17:37,395 --> 00:17:40,196
Wow, you're like a dog
with a bone, aren't you?
387
00:17:40,198 --> 00:17:42,415
I'm just making a point.
388
00:17:42,417 --> 00:17:44,900
Is the point that you don't know
when to let something go?
389
00:17:44,902 --> 00:17:45,751
People, people,
390
00:17:45,753 --> 00:17:47,253
please,
before you say
391
00:17:47,255 --> 00:17:48,838
something you
both regret,
392
00:17:48,840 --> 00:17:50,673
I'd like to place my order.
393
00:17:51,925 --> 00:17:53,459
Yeah, just hang on, Sheldon.
394
00:17:53,461 --> 00:17:54,960
You know why we can't be
together?
395
00:17:54,962 --> 00:17:56,412
Because you always have
to be right.
396
00:17:56,414 --> 00:17:57,913
Oh, that is not true.
397
00:17:57,915 --> 00:17:59,181
I got to go
with Leonard on this.
398
00:17:59,183 --> 00:18:01,684
He is wrong
more than anyone I know.
399
00:18:02,652 --> 00:18:04,353
You know what?
I just realized I'm on a break.
400
00:18:04,355 --> 00:18:05,604
I'll get someone else.
401
00:18:05,606 --> 00:18:07,423
Well...
402
00:18:07,425 --> 00:18:10,142
Leonard, promise me that when
our new waitress comes over,
403
00:18:10,144 --> 00:18:13,145
you will not start a complicated
on-again, off-again relationship
404
00:18:13,147 --> 00:18:15,898
with her,
because I am very, very hungry.
405
00:18:18,351 --> 00:18:21,404
(grunting quietly)
406
00:18:21,406 --> 00:18:23,605
(phone chimes)
407
00:18:27,461 --> 00:18:29,662
Unbelievable.
408
00:18:33,667 --> 00:18:35,301
Mind explaining to me
why you were being
409
00:18:35,303 --> 00:18:36,836
such a jerk at the restaurant?
Well,
410
00:18:36,838 --> 00:18:38,721
I was trying to act like
we weren't seeing each other.
411
00:18:38,723 --> 00:18:40,122
That was the plan, right?
No,
412
00:18:40,124 --> 00:18:42,458
the plan was to tell people
we decided to stay friends.
413
00:18:42,460 --> 00:18:43,625
That's a little hard to do
414
00:18:43,627 --> 00:18:47,179
when you're always being
such a tool bag.
415
00:18:47,181 --> 00:18:49,982
You know what? I don't have to
stand here and take this crap.
416
00:18:49,984 --> 00:18:51,851
The hell do you think
you're going?
417
00:18:51,853 --> 00:18:55,020
Isn't sex after fighting
kind of what we do now?!
418
00:18:55,022 --> 00:18:57,523
Yeah, kind of, yeah.
419
00:19:05,615 --> 00:19:07,583
What are we doing?
420
00:19:07,585 --> 00:19:08,784
What do you mean?
421
00:19:08,786 --> 00:19:12,505
Every scenario I play out
for you and me ends badly.
422
00:19:12,507 --> 00:19:14,890
That's because you
overthink everything.
423
00:19:14,892 --> 00:19:17,159
SHELDON: Leonard, are you listening
to me?
424
00:19:17,161 --> 00:19:18,594
What?
Yeah.
425
00:19:18,596 --> 00:19:20,596
This is a disaster.
426
00:19:20,598 --> 00:19:21,847
I distinctly ordered
427
00:19:21,849 --> 00:19:24,300
the Leonard Nimoy Mr.
Spock cardboard standee.
428
00:19:24,302 --> 00:19:25,851
Why would
I feel safer
429
00:19:25,853 --> 00:19:28,721
with Zachary Quinto
at the foot of my bed?
430
00:19:29,856 --> 00:19:34,109
I don't know, he was
pretty badass on Heroes.
431
00:19:34,111 --> 00:19:37,346
You're right, I'll
give him a shot.
432
00:19:39,316 --> 00:19:41,200
Hang on.
433
00:19:41,202 --> 00:19:42,868
Penny, do you have
plans for dinner?
434
00:19:42,870 --> 00:19:44,487
Why, you guys going somewhere?
435
00:19:44,489 --> 00:19:45,404
No, I mean just you and me.
436
00:19:45,406 --> 00:19:49,208
Ooh...!
Ooh...!
437
00:19:49,210 --> 00:19:51,710
Uh, have you thought
this through?
438
00:19:51,712 --> 00:19:55,247
Yes, and I think
we should go anyway.
439
00:19:57,968 --> 00:19:58,884
No, can't do it.
440
00:19:58,886 --> 00:20:00,753
Sorry, Quinto,
you're going back.
441
00:20:08,648 --> 00:20:10,431
If you and Leonard
get back together,
442
00:20:10,433 --> 00:20:11,933
Sheldon and I
will finally have someone
443
00:20:11,935 --> 00:20:13,618
to go on double dates with.
444
00:20:13,620 --> 00:20:14,936
What about me and Howard?
445
00:20:14,938 --> 00:20:17,372
Fine, we can double
with you, too.
446
00:20:18,257 --> 00:20:20,575
So insecure.
447
00:20:21,714 --> 00:20:24,465
Where are you guys going to eat?
448
00:20:24,467 --> 00:20:27,284
Penny?
449
00:20:28,637 --> 00:20:33,807
Do you, Penny, take Leonard to
be your lawful wedded husband?
450
00:20:41,149 --> 00:20:42,866
Well, it's
a little late for me
451
00:20:42,868 --> 00:20:45,152
to start saying no,
isn't it?
452
00:20:46,655 --> 00:20:48,656
Penny.
453
00:20:48,658 --> 00:20:49,773
Sorry,
just remembered
454
00:20:49,775 --> 00:20:51,625
I've got to stop
at the drugstore.
455
00:20:51,686 --> 00:20:55,686
== sync, corrected by elderman ==