1 00:00:46,757 --> 00:00:47,924 D'oh! 2 00:00:55,266 --> 00:00:58,766 ♪ The Simpsons 23x12 ♪ Moe Goes From Rags to Riches Original Air Date on January 29, 2012 3 00:00:58,791 --> 00:01:02,291 == sync, corrected by elderman == Resync for WEB-DL by Norther 4 00:01:35,654 --> 00:01:38,435 And that's why I really don't believe there's a God. 5 00:01:38,552 --> 00:01:40,736 Thank you, and God bless America. 6 00:01:40,804 --> 00:01:43,873 You were only supposed to lead us in the Pledge of Allegiance. 7 00:01:43,940 --> 00:01:46,308 I'm pretty sure it was in there somewhere. 8 00:01:46,376 --> 00:01:49,829 Oh. Now, let me conclude by thanking Moe the bartender 9 00:01:49,896 --> 00:01:51,047 for hosting this meeting 10 00:01:51,131 --> 00:01:53,499 while City Hall is fumigated for bedbugs. 11 00:01:53,567 --> 00:01:54,834 Bedbugs? 12 00:01:54,901 --> 00:01:56,001 Just why is there a bed in City Hall? 13 00:01:57,471 --> 00:01:59,572 Er, uh, meeting adjourned! 14 00:01:59,639 --> 00:02:01,373 ♪ All night long 15 00:02:01,441 --> 00:02:03,075 ♪ All night ♪ 16 00:02:03,143 --> 00:02:04,610 ♪ All night ♪ All night ♪ 17 00:02:04,678 --> 00:02:06,145 ♪ All night long 18 00:02:06,213 --> 00:02:07,563 ♪ All night ♪ 19 00:02:07,647 --> 00:02:09,014 ♪ All night ♪ All night ♪ 20 00:02:09,082 --> 00:02:10,349 ♪ All night long 21 00:02:10,417 --> 00:02:11,917 ♪ All night ♪ 22 00:02:11,985 --> 00:02:13,519 ♪ All night ♪ All night ♪ 23 00:02:13,587 --> 00:02:15,071 ♪ All night long 24 00:02:15,138 --> 00:02:16,455 ♪ All night ♪ 25 00:02:16,523 --> 00:02:18,074 ♪ Unh! 26 00:02:18,141 --> 00:02:20,459 ♪ Everyone you meet 27 00:02:20,527 --> 00:02:22,578 ♪ They're jamming in the street ♪ ♪ All night ♪ 28 00:02:22,662 --> 00:02:24,697 ♪ All night long ♪ All night ♪ 29 00:02:24,765 --> 00:02:26,165 ♪ Yeah, I said... 30 00:02:27,334 --> 00:02:28,634 This is so convenient! 31 00:02:28,702 --> 00:02:30,653 I can go straight from doing my civic duty 32 00:02:30,720 --> 00:02:32,655 to having a beer with my best friend Carl. 33 00:02:32,722 --> 00:02:35,374 And I can toss back a Duff Sangre de los Muertos 34 00:02:35,442 --> 00:02:37,676 with my best friend: Mexican Duffman. 35 00:02:37,744 --> 00:02:39,211 Ho-la! 36 00:02:39,279 --> 00:02:41,247 Hey, Moe, who's your best friend? 37 00:02:41,314 --> 00:02:42,581 Uh... 38 00:02:42,649 --> 00:02:45,117 Well, uh... Well, I just made friends 39 00:02:45,185 --> 00:02:49,188 with Pepto-Bismol on Facebook, and, uh... um... 40 00:02:49,239 --> 00:02:52,174 Hey, would you look at that? There's a spot on the bar. 41 00:02:52,242 --> 00:02:54,009 Come on! 44 00:03:00,884 --> 00:03:03,519 That's even sadder than being friends with Milhouse! 45 00:03:03,587 --> 00:03:07,189 You know something, Bart? 46 00:03:07,257 --> 00:03:09,558 I'm getting tired of things like that. 47 00:03:09,626 --> 00:03:12,128 Tired of what? I dump on you, and you take it. 48 00:03:12,195 --> 00:03:13,762 That's how friendship works. 49 00:03:13,830 --> 00:03:16,816 Not anymore. Friendship over. 50 00:03:18,018 --> 00:03:19,952 Taxi! 51 00:03:20,020 --> 00:03:22,438 What gives? He's not crawling back. 52 00:03:22,506 --> 00:03:27,042 Even a kid who wears a "Finding Nemo" back brace has some pride. 53 00:03:27,110 --> 00:03:30,162 You went too far this time, Bart. 54 00:03:30,230 --> 00:03:34,900 Hey, Moe! I got a job here for your "best friend," the bar rag. 55 00:03:34,968 --> 00:03:38,070 Me, too! 56 00:03:38,121 --> 00:03:40,506 Witty. 57 00:03:41,858 --> 00:03:43,042 Great meeting, though. 58 00:03:45,445 --> 00:03:49,465 Yes, that's right, everyone laugh at the rag. 59 00:03:49,549 --> 00:03:51,283 But I was not always 60 00:03:51,334 --> 00:03:53,836 this be-stainèd swatch you see before you. 61 00:03:53,920 --> 00:03:56,121 Oh, no, gentles. 62 00:03:56,173 --> 00:04:00,860 We begin in early medieval France... 63 00:04:05,482 --> 00:04:09,318 A young peasant wife struggles to feed her family... 64 00:04:09,386 --> 00:04:11,770 Maman, we are starving... 65 00:04:11,838 --> 00:04:14,390 Listen to the grumbling of our estomacs! 66 00:04:16,426 --> 00:04:18,260 That's not your estomacs! 67 00:04:18,328 --> 00:04:19,912 It's some men speaking French! 68 00:04:23,316 --> 00:04:25,534 Now, I have work to do. Complain to your papa. 69 00:04:25,619 --> 00:04:28,287 Papa? He is no help at all. 70 00:04:28,355 --> 00:04:31,090 Marguerite, I leave to fight in Flanders! 71 00:04:31,157 --> 00:04:33,726 Stupid Flanders. 72 00:04:37,597 --> 00:04:41,066 All tremble before the duc de Springfield! 73 00:04:41,134 --> 00:04:42,401 That's enough! 74 00:04:42,469 --> 00:04:44,303 Madame, I would like you 75 00:04:44,371 --> 00:04:46,906 to weave me a tapestry with the following images: 76 00:04:46,973 --> 00:04:48,474 Me healing the sick. 77 00:04:48,541 --> 00:04:49,842 Me killing the healthy. 78 00:04:49,910 --> 00:04:51,677 Me marrying my sister. 79 00:04:51,745 --> 00:04:53,212 A long winter where nothing happens. 80 00:04:53,280 --> 00:04:55,514 Me relaxing with friends. 81 00:04:55,582 --> 00:04:56,849 You know, the standard stuff. 82 00:04:56,917 --> 00:04:59,451 For this, I shall pay you two copper coins. 83 00:04:59,519 --> 00:05:01,420 You have 25 years to complete it. 84 00:05:01,488 --> 00:05:04,857 You may have one 15-minute déjeuner. 85 00:05:11,047 --> 00:05:14,350 Oh, these innocent creatures are blocking my path. 86 00:05:14,417 --> 00:05:16,552 I could walk six paces that way... 87 00:05:16,620 --> 00:05:20,089 or I could kill them all right now! 88 00:05:20,173 --> 00:05:22,141 I am heartily sorry and confess all my sins. 89 00:05:22,208 --> 00:05:23,876 Absolved! 90 00:05:25,428 --> 00:05:26,845 Avancez! 91 00:05:26,896 --> 00:05:28,397 In their dying fury, 92 00:05:28,481 --> 00:05:33,485 those beasts began expelling demon wool. 93 00:05:33,553 --> 00:05:36,488 And the restless spirits of those murdered sheep 94 00:05:36,556 --> 00:05:40,326 compelled Marguerite to loom ceaselessly, 95 00:05:40,393 --> 00:05:43,495 even as her husband went off to fight 96 00:05:43,563 --> 00:05:47,933 again and again... 97 00:05:48,001 --> 00:05:50,736 and again. 98 00:06:00,964 --> 00:06:02,881 As the years went by, 99 00:06:02,932 --> 00:06:06,385 the images she loomed were not of the Duc, 100 00:06:06,436 --> 00:06:08,854 but rather depictions of the adventures 101 00:06:08,921 --> 00:06:13,292 that cloth would experience over the centuries. 102 00:06:13,360 --> 00:06:15,828 Oh, and by the way... 103 00:06:15,895 --> 00:06:18,797 that tapestry was me. 104 00:06:18,865 --> 00:06:21,116 Right, and I was the Gutenberg Bible. 105 00:06:21,201 --> 00:06:23,268 Maman, we have failed to grow. 106 00:06:23,336 --> 00:06:25,371 We've had too little food! 107 00:06:25,438 --> 00:06:28,874 Is it too little food or too much complaining? 108 00:06:28,942 --> 00:06:32,211 Maman, you are overstressed. You need a vacation. 109 00:06:32,278 --> 00:06:33,946 Perhaps to the South of France. 110 00:06:34,014 --> 00:06:36,465 We're in the South of France! 111 00:06:36,549 --> 00:06:39,385 One day, as rosy-fingered Dawn 112 00:06:39,452 --> 00:06:42,755 wiped the morning gunk from her eyes, 113 00:06:42,806 --> 00:06:46,408 the Duc came to claim his infernal drapes. 114 00:06:46,476 --> 00:06:49,628 What an age for prosthetics we live in. 115 00:06:52,465 --> 00:06:54,400 Silence! I have reached my verdict. 116 00:06:54,467 --> 00:06:56,468 It's not what I expected. 117 00:06:57,771 --> 00:07:00,039 And yet... it's beautiful! 118 00:07:01,274 --> 00:07:02,541 But it's also not what I expected. 119 00:07:02,609 --> 00:07:04,610 Burn down their house! 120 00:07:11,534 --> 00:07:13,869 But Le Duc was about to be called home 121 00:07:13,953 --> 00:07:17,256 to the worst kind of hell: medieval hell. 122 00:07:27,133 --> 00:07:31,002 Hey, let's show some French courage and beat up the corpse! 123 00:07:32,839 --> 00:07:35,274 Come on, Ralphie, have a try. 124 00:07:36,826 --> 00:07:39,561 Oh! We're submitting that 125 00:07:39,629 --> 00:07:42,180 to France's Funniest Cave Paintings. 126 00:07:44,234 --> 00:07:46,735 Hm-hmm, mm-hm. 127 00:07:47,937 --> 00:07:50,172 Mm-hmm, hm. 128 00:07:50,240 --> 00:07:53,125 Even for a tapestry made of demon wool, 129 00:07:53,193 --> 00:07:55,210 this was hard to watch. 130 00:07:55,295 --> 00:07:57,629 I was moved to a magnificent cathedral 131 00:07:57,697 --> 00:07:59,631 and learned that tapestries 132 00:07:59,699 --> 00:08:01,800 were the rock stars of the Middle Ages. 133 00:08:03,436 --> 00:08:05,954 I had legions of what you now call groupies. 134 00:08:06,022 --> 00:08:07,773 It felt like the good times 135 00:08:07,841 --> 00:08:10,559 known as the Dark Ages would never end. 136 00:08:10,627 --> 00:08:14,530 But then cruel fate knocked upon the door... 137 00:08:18,635 --> 00:08:21,170 Guys, it ain't working-- the door's too strong. 138 00:08:26,159 --> 00:08:27,776 Go, Vikings. 139 00:08:29,796 --> 00:08:31,113 Ow! Stop it! 140 00:08:31,181 --> 00:08:33,031 You just broke your vow of silence. 141 00:08:33,099 --> 00:08:35,117 It wasn't a vow. I just didn't want to talk to you. 142 00:08:35,201 --> 00:08:37,002 Oh! 143 00:08:37,069 --> 00:08:39,071 This Viking stuff is too dangerous. 144 00:08:39,139 --> 00:08:41,807 I'm going to become a gentleman art thief. 145 00:08:45,044 --> 00:08:46,478 Huh? 146 00:08:46,546 --> 00:08:47,813 Hmm, what the...? 147 00:08:49,983 --> 00:08:51,650 Spooky. 148 00:08:52,569 --> 00:08:54,670 Hmm... hmm. 149 00:08:54,737 --> 00:08:58,574 - That was the first time - I knew anguish and fear. 150 00:08:58,641 --> 00:09:03,278 Nothing will ever staunch the pain of that memory. 151 00:09:03,346 --> 00:09:06,999 Oh. Well, that helps. 152 00:09:11,449 --> 00:09:12,916 Milhouse! 153 00:09:13,154 --> 00:09:14,688 Milhouse! 154 00:09:15,370 --> 00:09:16,970 What do you-- 155 00:09:18,639 --> 00:09:19,472 Hmm? 156 00:09:23,584 --> 00:09:25,279 What is it, Bart? 157 00:09:25,467 --> 00:09:28,445 Listen, um... after our fight, I couldn't sleep. 158 00:09:28,690 --> 00:09:31,024 Well, I was doing fine. 159 00:09:31,092 --> 00:09:34,394 Warm glass of milk, some choice cuts from The Wriggles 160 00:09:34,462 --> 00:09:36,463 and I was out. 161 00:09:36,531 --> 00:09:39,399 Come on, man. At least listen to what I have to say. 162 00:09:39,467 --> 00:09:41,268 Okay... 163 00:09:41,336 --> 00:09:43,870 Um... well... 164 00:09:43,938 --> 00:09:47,240 this is usually the part where you say you're sorry. 165 00:09:47,308 --> 00:09:48,909 Bart, I'm not your puppet. 166 00:09:48,977 --> 00:09:51,595 I know, I made you into a real boy last week. 167 00:09:51,663 --> 00:09:53,430 And I'll always be grateful. 168 00:09:53,498 --> 00:09:55,966 But it's time you started treating me with respect. 169 00:09:58,936 --> 00:10:01,688 They're a tough pair, huh? 170 00:10:05,443 --> 00:10:07,344 If you let me in, I'll give you the Heimlich. 171 00:10:07,412 --> 00:10:08,612 Hm-mm. 172 00:10:09,981 --> 00:10:13,550 So to recap: I had been unjustly torn 173 00:10:13,618 --> 00:10:15,936 from my lofty perch. 174 00:10:16,004 --> 00:10:19,840 I wound up as a barter in Persia. 175 00:10:19,907 --> 00:10:21,241 You have taken our gold 176 00:10:21,309 --> 00:10:24,211 and jewels and given us this faded cloth?! 177 00:10:24,278 --> 00:10:26,913 That's right. And if anyone asked who swindled you, 178 00:10:26,981 --> 00:10:28,648 it was Christians. 179 00:10:28,716 --> 00:10:31,418 Remember that name: Christians. 180 00:10:33,755 --> 00:10:36,523 I found myself in the court of the young Persian king, 181 00:10:36,591 --> 00:10:39,026 a cruel king who demanded 182 00:10:39,093 --> 00:10:41,311 constant entertainment from his wives. 183 00:10:41,379 --> 00:10:42,679 ♪ 184 00:10:51,389 --> 00:10:53,857 Eh. Throw her in the pit of boring wives. 185 00:10:58,079 --> 00:10:59,613 We never go out anymore. 186 00:10:59,680 --> 00:11:00,914 Are you even listening to me? 187 00:11:00,982 --> 00:11:02,249 My sister has a much bigger pit. 188 00:11:02,316 --> 00:11:06,503 Dude, you've already discarded, like, 500 wives. 189 00:11:06,571 --> 00:11:08,205 I think it's weird that you're counting. 190 00:11:08,272 --> 00:11:09,473 Send in the next one! 191 00:11:13,945 --> 00:11:16,446 Good evening, Your Majesty. 192 00:11:16,514 --> 00:11:19,916 May I tell you your slippers are as curly as everyone says? 193 00:11:22,120 --> 00:11:23,904 Eh, pit her. 194 00:11:23,971 --> 00:11:24,905 Wait, wait, wait! 195 00:11:24,972 --> 00:11:27,674 I can, uh, tell you a story! 196 00:11:27,742 --> 00:11:29,276 Cease your dragging! 197 00:11:30,678 --> 00:11:35,849 Uh... There once was a boy named Ali Baba. 198 00:11:35,917 --> 00:11:38,452 He and his elder brother Cassim 199 00:11:38,519 --> 00:11:40,020 were the sons of a merchant 200 00:11:40,088 --> 00:11:41,988 who traded in camels and spices and-- 201 00:11:42,056 --> 00:11:45,459 Okay, just a couple thoughts on your direction so far. 202 00:11:49,814 --> 00:11:51,681 One day, while out for a walk, 203 00:11:51,749 --> 00:11:54,584 Ali Baba was set upon by a thief. 204 00:11:55,920 --> 00:11:57,020 Make that two thieves! 205 00:11:58,122 --> 00:11:59,222 A million thieves! 206 00:11:59,290 --> 00:12:00,290 Too many. 207 00:12:00,358 --> 00:12:01,725 Forty thieves. 208 00:12:03,161 --> 00:12:06,229 With her inventiveness and wit, 209 00:12:06,297 --> 00:12:07,931 the clever wife entertained her king 210 00:12:07,999 --> 00:12:11,184 for a thousand and one nights. 211 00:12:11,252 --> 00:12:15,839 And while he slept, she freed her imprisoned compatriots. 212 00:12:23,481 --> 00:12:27,384 Uh, it was cooler in the pit. 213 00:12:32,607 --> 00:12:36,076 And that's how the camel got its hump. 214 00:12:36,144 --> 00:12:38,228 Another story! 215 00:12:38,296 --> 00:12:41,148 For once, couldn't you just take 216 00:12:41,215 --> 00:12:44,084 a few minutes to let the previous story sink in? 217 00:12:44,152 --> 00:12:46,586 You dare refuse your king? 218 00:12:46,654 --> 00:12:47,954 Guards! 219 00:12:48,022 --> 00:12:48,822 Uh-oh. 220 00:12:56,914 --> 00:13:00,033 My downward spiral continued. 221 00:13:11,696 --> 00:13:14,414 Only cowards use blindfolds. 222 00:13:14,465 --> 00:13:17,083 I didn't know you were doing that! 223 00:13:20,154 --> 00:13:23,306 I was unfit for even the most sordid uses. 224 00:13:23,391 --> 00:13:26,610 How's your neck, Your Lordship? No splinters or nuffin'? 225 00:13:26,677 --> 00:13:29,579 I fear the axe less than that filthy rag. 226 00:13:29,647 --> 00:13:32,215 You talk fancy now, but you'll twitch like the rest. 227 00:13:32,283 --> 00:13:33,650 All too true, I fear. 228 00:13:33,718 --> 00:13:35,352 Shut up! 229 00:13:35,419 --> 00:13:37,854 Your tongue is even sharper than your-- 230 00:13:37,922 --> 00:13:40,690 But then, at my lowest ebb, a moment of hope. 231 00:13:40,758 --> 00:13:44,160 I played a pivotal role in creating 232 00:13:44,228 --> 00:13:46,129 one of the masterpieces of Western art. 233 00:13:46,197 --> 00:13:48,064 Michelangelo! 234 00:13:48,132 --> 00:13:49,699 When will you be finished? 235 00:13:49,767 --> 00:13:52,235 Hey, you want a quickie? You go to Raphael, baby. 236 00:13:52,303 --> 00:13:53,770 The artist was never satisfied. 237 00:13:56,290 --> 00:13:58,892 How about now? Nope. 238 00:14:02,713 --> 00:14:04,781 That's perfect! 239 00:14:04,849 --> 00:14:06,349 Now would you like to protect your investment 240 00:14:06,417 --> 00:14:07,851 with a clear coat? 241 00:14:07,919 --> 00:14:10,737 Hm, let me discuss it with my wife. 242 00:14:10,804 --> 00:14:13,740 The masterpiece was finished 243 00:14:13,808 --> 00:14:15,775 and so was the use for me. 244 00:14:15,843 --> 00:14:17,611 And then... 245 00:14:21,782 --> 00:14:25,151 You know, Moe, it might be time to buy a new bar rag. 246 00:14:25,219 --> 00:14:27,153 Yeah, yeah, sure thing. I'll get right on it. 247 00:14:27,221 --> 00:14:30,290 No way I would abandon you, Raggie. 248 00:14:30,358 --> 00:14:32,825 You're my best friend. 249 00:14:46,107 --> 00:14:48,541 So, I guess you didn't eat that "special cheese" 250 00:14:48,609 --> 00:14:51,845 - that I gave you yesterday, huh? - Yeah. 251 00:15:03,996 --> 00:15:05,191 Oh, Milhouse, 252 00:15:05,251 --> 00:15:07,582 what do I have to do, besides changing in any way, 253 00:15:07,582 --> 00:15:09,282 to get you to forgive me? 254 00:15:09,325 --> 00:15:12,373 Gee, Bart, you seem, uh-- how can I put it?-- 255 00:15:12,500 --> 00:15:14,335 Milhousey. 256 00:15:14,590 --> 00:15:16,892 Really? It's not that bad, is it? 257 00:15:16,959 --> 00:15:19,227 Bart, you'll never learn. 258 00:15:20,092 --> 00:15:23,648 "Milhouse, you're the closest thing I have to a brother. 259 00:15:23,826 --> 00:15:26,795 "A brother with the wisdom of an older sister. 260 00:15:26,862 --> 00:15:30,598 "And that's why we squabble, 'cause families always do. 261 00:15:30,666 --> 00:15:33,034 "But in the end, they're still a family. 262 00:15:33,102 --> 00:15:35,503 What do you say... brother?" 263 00:15:35,571 --> 00:15:39,040 Not bad. Did Lisa write that? 264 00:15:39,108 --> 00:15:41,259 Yes, I did. Now I'm going to bed. 265 00:15:42,795 --> 00:15:46,030 I want something that comes from you, Bart. We're done here. 266 00:15:46,098 --> 00:15:47,182 But-but-but... 267 00:15:47,249 --> 00:15:49,584 The glasses are off! 268 00:15:56,275 --> 00:15:58,977 My degradation continued. 269 00:15:59,044 --> 00:16:01,112 An enterprising seamstress 270 00:16:01,180 --> 00:16:03,948 turned me into the flag of a fledgling nation. 271 00:16:03,999 --> 00:16:07,552 Unfortunately, a nation on the wrong side of history. 272 00:16:13,592 --> 00:16:16,778 - Like everyone else, I - was hit hard by the depression. 273 00:16:16,846 --> 00:16:18,096 What's for dinner, Ma? 274 00:16:18,163 --> 00:16:20,048 Rag soup! 275 00:16:24,970 --> 00:16:26,938 Needs flavor. 276 00:16:29,608 --> 00:16:32,243 Mmm, that's better! 277 00:16:34,864 --> 00:16:36,364 I was part of an expedition 278 00:16:36,448 --> 00:16:38,114 to the top of Mount Everest, 279 00:16:38,279 --> 00:16:41,732 one that had the distinction of failing un-heroically. 280 00:16:43,525 --> 00:16:45,120 Oxygen... 281 00:16:45,311 --> 00:16:47,127 I need oxygen! 282 00:16:47,240 --> 00:16:50,524 Come on, man. A few more balloons and this'll look really awesome. 283 00:16:50,630 --> 00:16:51,421 D'oh! 284 00:16:51,559 --> 00:16:54,277 Worst... climbing... Everest. 285 00:16:56,755 --> 00:16:58,739 A yeti found me 286 00:16:58,807 --> 00:17:01,408 and brought me home as a present to his son. 287 00:17:01,476 --> 00:17:03,344 Ah, ah! 288 00:17:03,411 --> 00:17:04,811 Mmm... 289 00:17:04,863 --> 00:17:09,900 And now my thousand-year fall from grace is complete. 290 00:17:09,968 --> 00:17:13,871 I guess I should be happy here, with my sad, but predictable... 291 00:17:13,939 --> 00:17:15,806 Moe! Moe! Wake up! 292 00:17:15,874 --> 00:17:18,776 Oh no, I don't want to find out what's worse than you! 293 00:17:24,727 --> 00:17:25,961 Milhouse! 294 00:17:26,029 --> 00:17:27,663 I've been out here all night, man. 295 00:17:27,730 --> 00:17:29,998 Just let me know what it'll take for you to forgive me. 296 00:17:30,066 --> 00:17:32,000 Can I punch you? Sure. 297 00:17:32,068 --> 00:17:33,769 Can I have someone else punch you? 298 00:17:33,836 --> 00:17:35,003 Sure. What've you got? 299 00:17:35,071 --> 00:17:36,772 Puppy Goo-Goo coming my way? 300 00:17:40,543 --> 00:17:41,843 Ay carumba! 301 00:17:43,980 --> 00:17:45,647 I'm glad it's over. 302 00:17:45,715 --> 00:17:48,550 I wasn't comfortable having the upper hand. 303 00:17:48,618 --> 00:17:51,653 From now on I'll dominate you in ways you don't realize. 304 00:17:51,721 --> 00:17:54,623 That's all I ever wanted. 305 00:17:54,691 --> 00:17:56,191 Where'd it go? Where'd it go? 306 00:17:56,259 --> 00:17:58,827 Hey, Chief Wiggum! Can you help me find my bar rag? 307 00:17:58,895 --> 00:18:01,930 I can't even find my car in the parking lot at the mall. 308 00:18:01,998 --> 00:18:05,500 There was half a kilo of heroin and two suspects inside. 309 00:18:05,568 --> 00:18:07,636 Hey! Hey! 310 00:18:07,703 --> 00:18:10,005 Can you throw me my house key? Please! 311 00:18:10,056 --> 00:18:11,840 It's got a green thingy on it! 312 00:18:11,891 --> 00:18:12,858 Stop! 313 00:18:12,925 --> 00:18:13,942 Ooh! 314 00:18:15,545 --> 00:18:16,745 Hey, there's some Pringles in here. 315 00:18:16,813 --> 00:18:19,815 Nope. Tear gas. 316 00:18:21,350 --> 00:18:24,519 Haven't forgotten about your rag, Moe! 317 00:18:24,570 --> 00:18:26,905 I'm in hell, I'm in hell, I'm in hell, 318 00:18:26,989 --> 00:18:28,774 I'm in hell... 319 00:18:33,146 --> 00:18:36,081 Perhaps one of you garments 320 00:18:36,149 --> 00:18:37,883 would like to narrate for a while. 321 00:18:37,950 --> 00:18:39,985 Men's extra large underwear? 322 00:18:40,053 --> 00:18:42,054 I'm saving my strength. 323 00:18:42,121 --> 00:18:44,523 He's going bike riding today. 324 00:18:46,759 --> 00:18:48,293 Come on in! 325 00:18:52,148 --> 00:18:53,749 You've got my rag! But how? 326 00:18:53,816 --> 00:18:55,517 Well, during the town meeting, 327 00:18:55,585 --> 00:18:57,385 which now seems like years ago, 328 00:18:57,453 --> 00:18:59,921 I forgot my purse at your bar. 329 00:18:59,989 --> 00:19:02,357 And when I came back to get it, 330 00:19:02,425 --> 00:19:04,726 I saw how much you love that rag. 331 00:19:04,777 --> 00:19:08,313 Num-num-num-num-num-num. 332 00:19:08,381 --> 00:19:10,749 It seemed a little "ripe," 333 00:19:10,817 --> 00:19:12,851 so I brought it home to clean it for you. 334 00:19:12,919 --> 00:19:14,152 Thanks, Marge. 335 00:19:14,220 --> 00:19:16,988 That rag is my only friend in the world. 336 00:19:17,056 --> 00:19:19,141 Well, that's not true! 337 00:19:19,208 --> 00:19:21,442 Everyone in this family is your friend. 338 00:19:21,494 --> 00:19:23,411 Your bar is the closest thing this town has 339 00:19:23,479 --> 00:19:25,614 to an Algonquin roundtable. 340 00:19:25,681 --> 00:19:28,917 What about that Round Table Pizza run by that Algonquin guy? 341 00:19:28,968 --> 00:19:31,369 Yeah, yeah, okay, second closest. 342 00:19:31,437 --> 00:19:34,055 So you's all like me? Even you, maestro? 343 00:19:34,123 --> 00:19:35,257 Milhouse. 344 00:19:35,308 --> 00:19:36,458 Yeah, I, I knew it was something stupid. 345 00:19:36,526 --> 00:19:39,161 Well, thanks, everybody. 346 00:19:39,228 --> 00:19:42,097 I... I'm always gonna remember today as the day 347 00:19:42,165 --> 00:19:44,599 that I learned to open my heart to human beings 348 00:19:44,667 --> 00:19:46,935 and not old pieces of cloth. 349 00:19:47,003 --> 00:19:51,472 Ha, crazy me, Thinking I needed a rag for a friend. 350 00:19:56,162 --> 00:19:58,547 So, this is how it ends. 351 00:19:58,614 --> 00:20:01,616 The once magnificent tapestry tossed aside 352 00:20:01,684 --> 00:20:04,386 yet again like a common Kleenex. 353 00:20:04,453 --> 00:20:06,471 Good-bye, cruel... What the...? 354 00:20:11,460 --> 00:20:13,094 In all my years, 355 00:20:13,162 --> 00:20:16,464 this is a love like I have never felt. 356 00:20:16,532 --> 00:20:19,217 Sweet, pure and forever. 357 00:20:28,010 --> 00:20:30,779 Well, all marriages have their ups and downs. 358 00:20:30,847 --> 00:20:34,847 == sync, corrected by elderman == Resync for WEB-DL by Norther