1
00:00:04,288 --> 00:00:05,797
Hi.
2
00:00:05,963 --> 00:00:06,931
Hi, babe.
3
00:00:07,056 --> 00:00:09,384
Hey, we went ahead
and ate without you.
4
00:00:09,550 --> 00:00:11,235
Oh, sorry, after work
I got dinner with Craig
5
00:00:11,360 --> 00:00:13,347
and they had karaoke,
so I did a couple songs.
6
00:00:13,513 --> 00:00:16,808
I went hard at lady antebellum
7
00:00:16,974 --> 00:00:19,644
and bombed.
8
00:00:19,811 --> 00:00:20,912
[Phone vibrates]
9
00:00:21,037 --> 00:00:22,731
Oh, that's weird.
Oh, that's Craig.
10
00:00:22,897 --> 00:00:25,067
- Weren't you just with Craig?
- Yeah, he's such an idiot.
11
00:00:25,233 --> 00:00:26,817
What?
12
00:00:26,942 --> 00:00:30,587
Okay, why do you want to know
my shoe size, you psycho?
13
00:00:30,712 --> 00:00:31,573
I'm a 10.
14
00:00:32,047 --> 00:00:33,367
Okay, that myth is not true,
15
00:00:33,533 --> 00:00:37,537
because I actually
have a very small penis.
16
00:00:37,703 --> 00:00:39,122
Good-bye.
Pfft.
17
00:00:42,166 --> 00:00:44,169
What? Craig was buying me insoles.
18
00:00:44,335 --> 00:00:46,088
This Craig guy's buying you insoles?
19
00:00:46,254 --> 00:00:47,670
Yeah, my feet are killing me.
20
00:00:47,795 --> 00:00:49,405
High heels are evil.
Whoever invented these things
21
00:00:49,530 --> 00:00:51,240
were trying to
make women easier to catch
22
00:00:51,365 --> 00:00:54,638
and drag back to their caves.
23
00:00:54,804 --> 00:00:56,390
He said he was in the drugstore
and he thought of me.
24
00:00:56,556 --> 00:00:58,880
Okay, you don't think
about a girl at the drugstore
25
00:00:59,005 --> 00:01:00,548
unless you're sleeping with her
26
00:01:00,673 --> 00:01:05,440
or you have an unfortunate
souvenir from sleeping with her.
27
00:01:05,606 --> 00:01:07,355
This guy knows
you have a boyfriend, right?
28
00:01:07,480 --> 00:01:11,780
One that looks,
and may possibly be, tough.
29
00:01:11,946 --> 00:01:13,740
What are you guys implying?
30
00:01:13,906 --> 00:01:18,286
That Craig's interest in you
doesn't stop at your feet.
31
00:01:18,452 --> 00:01:21,468
It travels due north from there.
32
00:01:21,593 --> 00:01:23,704
And then it goes slightly South.
33
00:01:23,829 --> 00:01:25,939
And then it goes back up north.
34
00:01:26,064 --> 00:01:28,005
And then it goes east-west,
east-west, east-west.
35
00:01:28,171 --> 00:01:30,877
- Okay, we get it.
- Mark.
36
00:01:31,002 --> 00:01:32,259
Sorry.
37
00:01:32,425 --> 00:01:34,886
Craig and I just work together.
38
00:01:35,052 --> 00:01:36,950
Yeah, but you don't
just work together, you know.
39
00:01:37,075 --> 00:01:39,252
He gets you stuff,
he calls you after work,
40
00:01:39,377 --> 00:01:40,987
you guys do karaoke.
41
00:01:41,112 --> 00:01:42,487
It seems like if it were switched,
44
00:01:46,216 --> 00:01:48,024
Craig and I are just friends.
45
00:01:48,190 --> 00:01:49,985
Yeah, what's this friend look like?
46
00:01:50,151 --> 00:01:51,630
I will show you.
47
00:01:51,755 --> 00:01:56,034
And you will see that
Craig is just Craig.
48
00:01:56,159 --> 00:01:59,286
You have a picture
of this guy in your phone?
49
00:01:59,452 --> 00:02:01,172
Okay, he was wearing
a boat-neck sweater,
50
00:02:01,297 --> 00:02:04,374
what was I,
not going to take a picture?
51
00:02:04,540 --> 00:02:06,944
Glasses. Smart guy.
They're the worst.
52
00:02:07,069 --> 00:02:09,013
They can't get in your pants,
so they get in your brain
53
00:02:09,138 --> 00:02:11,849
and they work their way South.
54
00:02:11,974 --> 00:02:14,342
And then they go back up north.
55
00:02:14,508 --> 00:02:16,119
And then they go
east and west and east and west.
56
00:02:16,244 --> 00:02:17,471
Mark.
57
00:02:17,637 --> 00:02:20,257
This is ridiculous.
There is nothing going on.
58
00:02:20,382 --> 00:02:22,692
Craig has a girlfriend named Marcine
59
00:02:22,817 --> 00:02:23,894
who he's been with forever.
60
00:02:24,060 --> 00:02:25,479
"Marcine"?
61
00:02:28,856 --> 00:02:30,232
Yes.
62
00:02:30,399 --> 00:02:32,234
I mean, that's obviously
a name you make up
63
00:02:32,359 --> 00:02:34,870
when you're lying.
64
00:02:34,995 --> 00:02:36,448
Alex, seriously?
65
00:02:36,614 --> 00:02:37,991
Seriously.
66
00:02:38,157 --> 00:02:39,641
The weirdest part is you and Craig
67
00:02:39,766 --> 00:02:41,376
would totally love each other.
68
00:02:41,501 --> 00:02:43,012
You know what?
Let's do a dinner,
69
00:02:43,137 --> 00:02:45,540
you, me, Craig, and Marcine.
70
00:02:45,706 --> 00:02:48,794
No, I do not want to do a dinner.
71
00:02:48,960 --> 00:02:52,453
It'll get you out of
game night with Lily and Neal.
72
00:02:52,578 --> 00:02:54,841
Okay, I'll do a dinner.
73
00:02:55,007 --> 00:02:55,990
Whitney is taped
74
00:02:56,115 --> 00:02:59,217
in front of a live
studio audience, so...
75
00:03:04,089 --> 00:03:05,432
What is it about couples
after they've
76
00:03:05,557 --> 00:03:06,853
been together for a year?
77
00:03:07,019 --> 00:03:11,107
Their need to host game nights
becomes all-consuming.
78
00:03:11,273 --> 00:03:13,276
Don't chat me up.
We're not on the same team.
79
00:03:13,442 --> 00:03:14,069
Well, how do you know?
80
00:03:14,235 --> 00:03:16,404
Because we're going to play
holes versus poles.
81
00:03:17,989 --> 00:03:21,576
I want to win,
and I cannot win with a woman.
82
00:03:21,742 --> 00:03:23,282
Well, that might have more to do with
83
00:03:23,407 --> 00:03:26,373
your use of phrases, like,
"holes versus poles."
84
00:03:26,539 --> 00:03:27,553
Think about it.
85
00:03:27,678 --> 00:03:29,042
Have you ever seen
a woman win jeopardy!?
86
00:03:29,208 --> 00:03:30,836
Yes, I have.
87
00:03:31,002 --> 00:03:33,326
I'm not saying that women are dumb.
88
00:03:33,451 --> 00:03:34,893
I'm saying they're too smart.
89
00:03:35,018 --> 00:03:37,362
They overthink everything.
Largest animal?
90
00:03:37,487 --> 00:03:39,264
"Um, that depends.
Are we talking land or water?
91
00:03:39,389 --> 00:03:40,398
Height or weight?"
92
00:03:40,523 --> 00:03:41,766
[Buzzer sound]
Eeeh!
93
00:03:41,891 --> 00:03:43,598
Time's up.
Blue whale... boom.
94
00:03:45,141 --> 00:03:46,852
Okay, Neal and I
are engaged, we're a team.
95
00:03:47,018 --> 00:03:48,645
No.
96
00:03:48,811 --> 00:03:50,814
Mark, you are comfortably
in your '30s.
97
00:03:53,149 --> 00:03:53,984
Skooch, skooch.
98
00:03:57,486 --> 00:04:00,991
Just don't slow me down
with your Slovaries.
99
00:04:02,700 --> 00:04:03,869
- And go.
- Candy.
100
00:04:04,035 --> 00:04:05,678
- Uh, cane.
- Yes.
101
00:04:05,803 --> 00:04:07,023
- March.
- Madness.
102
00:04:07,148 --> 00:04:08,123
Yes.
Pig.
103
00:04:08,289 --> 00:04:09,767
- Skin.
- Got it.
104
00:04:09,892 --> 00:04:11,126
- Spike.
- TV.
105
00:04:11,292 --> 00:04:14,296
Yeah!
That's how it's done.
106
00:04:15,671 --> 00:04:17,757
Our work's cut out for us, partner.
107
00:04:17,923 --> 00:04:19,801
Yeah. I'm not
worried at all, partner.
108
00:04:19,967 --> 00:04:21,887
- Nope.
- All right.
109
00:04:22,053 --> 00:04:23,054
Go.
110
00:04:27,167 --> 00:04:29,611
Oak.
111
00:04:29,736 --> 00:04:32,522
Tree.
112
00:04:33,418 --> 00:04:37,944
Nope.
Uh, place.
113
00:04:39,478 --> 00:04:41,615
Forest.
114
00:04:41,781 --> 00:04:43,925
[Clears throat]
115
00:04:44,050 --> 00:04:46,794
Baseball.
116
00:04:46,919 --> 00:04:47,829
Bat.
117
00:04:47,995 --> 00:04:48,955
No.
118
00:04:49,121 --> 00:04:50,582
Come on, Neal.
You're all over the map, here.
119
00:04:50,748 --> 00:04:52,400
Okay, let's not panic.
120
00:04:52,525 --> 00:04:53,585
Central.
121
00:04:53,751 --> 00:04:54,961
Cent... well, now you're
just sayings words.
122
00:04:55,127 --> 00:04:56,296
That's what this game is.
123
00:04:56,462 --> 00:04:57,756
- And that's time.
- Ah.
124
00:04:57,922 --> 00:05:00,175
On her yogurt!
125
00:05:00,341 --> 00:05:01,968
How many times are you going
write your name on yogurt?
126
00:05:02,134 --> 00:05:04,077
I know!
127
00:05:04,202 --> 00:05:07,013
So, uh, it's so weird that
you guys have never met before,
128
00:05:07,138 --> 00:05:09,059
because you guys both
come here all the time.
129
00:05:09,225 --> 00:05:11,917
Oh, Marcine and I love this place.
130
00:05:12,042 --> 00:05:16,021
Oh, and by the way, I'm so sorry
that she couldn't make it.
131
00:05:16,146 --> 00:05:17,722
Yeah, me too, you know, and then
132
00:05:17,847 --> 00:05:19,491
when you showed up and you
said she was sick,
133
00:05:19,616 --> 00:05:22,118
I was like, "no."
134
00:05:24,115 --> 00:05:26,031
You know, you guys
both created websites.
135
00:05:26,156 --> 00:05:27,410
Before Craig was at the magazine,
136
00:05:27,576 --> 00:05:29,913
he had a website too,
so tell him about yours.
137
00:05:30,079 --> 00:05:32,207
Oh, yeah. I have
a video sharing website.
138
00:05:32,373 --> 00:05:33,839
Oh, that's so cool.
139
00:05:33,964 --> 00:05:37,909
Oh, I just built one for Obama,
because he's a friend.
140
00:05:38,034 --> 00:05:41,383
Brendan Fraser slept
with my ex-girlfriend.
141
00:05:43,572 --> 00:05:45,349
Um, you guys both also play guitar.
142
00:05:45,474 --> 00:05:46,638
Don't you play guitar?
143
00:05:46,804 --> 00:05:49,391
Oh, yeah, that...
That was years ago in school.
144
00:05:49,557 --> 00:05:50,600
Well, I was just self-taught.
145
00:05:50,766 --> 00:05:52,389
Oh, that... that sounds fun.
146
00:05:52,514 --> 00:05:56,106
Because Juilliard was a real grind.
147
00:05:56,272 --> 00:05:57,983
Oh, by the way,
how is your dad feeling?
148
00:05:58,149 --> 00:05:59,526
Oh, he's so much better, thank you.
149
00:05:59,692 --> 00:06:00,986
Whoa, what happened with your dad?
150
00:06:01,152 --> 00:06:02,431
Oh, he had to go
to the emergency room,
151
00:06:02,556 --> 00:06:04,281
but it turns out
it was just heartburn.
152
00:06:04,447 --> 00:06:06,268
When?
Why didn't you tell me?
153
00:06:06,393 --> 00:06:07,951
I told you, it was yesterday.
Didn't I tell you?
154
00:06:08,117 --> 00:06:10,203
No, you didn't tell me.
155
00:06:10,369 --> 00:06:12,876
Oh, it's just that my dad's
been feeling sick too.
156
00:06:13,001 --> 00:06:14,210
Oh.
157
00:06:14,335 --> 00:06:17,085
My mom's going through menopause.
158
00:06:19,940 --> 00:06:23,591
So, we're just kind of
taking it day by day.
159
00:06:24,845 --> 00:06:28,555
Got the seafood tower for two...
160
00:06:28,721 --> 00:06:30,425
And the personal pizza.
161
00:06:30,550 --> 00:06:31,558
Thanks.
162
00:06:31,724 --> 00:06:35,195
- That looks good.
- Yeah.
163
00:06:35,320 --> 00:06:36,521
I never get to order this.
164
00:06:36,687 --> 00:06:37,939
Marcine hates shellfish.
165
00:06:38,105 --> 00:06:39,557
Uh, so does Alex.
166
00:06:39,682 --> 00:06:41,035
Uh, Whitney can I give you crabs?
167
00:06:41,160 --> 00:06:43,445
Both: Too late!
168
00:06:43,611 --> 00:06:44,772
Ha ha ha ha.
Awesome, wow.
169
00:06:44,897 --> 00:06:48,366
An std joke about my girlfriend.
170
00:06:50,966 --> 00:06:52,495
Alex is jealous of Craig?
171
00:06:53,627 --> 00:06:55,471
Are you talking about Craig from work
172
00:06:55,596 --> 00:06:58,043
or Daniel Craig?
173
00:06:58,209 --> 00:07:00,443
It's so weird.
And Alex is never jealous.
174
00:07:00,568 --> 00:07:01,744
I'm the jealous one.
175
00:07:01,869 --> 00:07:06,217
I mean, now I know
how annoying it is to date me.
176
00:07:06,383 --> 00:07:08,717
This must be about something else.
177
00:07:08,842 --> 00:07:10,652
My advice, get ahead of this,
178
00:07:10,777 --> 00:07:12,019
because it will only get worse.
179
00:07:12,144 --> 00:07:14,225
You're going to need to
dig deep and do the hard work.
180
00:07:14,391 --> 00:07:18,605
Ugh...
Sex in the morning?
181
00:07:18,771 --> 00:07:21,127
No, I was talking
about couples therapy.
182
00:07:21,252 --> 00:07:24,865
My friends went to this guy,
saved the relationship.
183
00:07:24,990 --> 00:07:27,155
He was totally on her side.
184
00:07:27,321 --> 00:07:29,236
Good, because
I'm not going to therapy
185
00:07:29,361 --> 00:07:30,784
unless I know I can win.
186
00:07:30,950 --> 00:07:34,913
Hey, partner.
Nice win last night.
187
00:07:35,079 --> 00:07:36,743
Now do you see how
idiotic your theory is
188
00:07:36,868 --> 00:07:38,833
about women playing games?
189
00:07:38,999 --> 00:07:40,646
It can't possibly be
as idiotic as his theory
190
00:07:40,771 --> 00:07:42,749
about how women can't be
lactose intolerant
191
00:07:42,874 --> 00:07:46,352
because they produce breast milk.
192
00:07:46,477 --> 00:07:51,380
What? You can dish it out,
but you can't take it?
193
00:07:53,316 --> 00:07:56,027
And it's more than
a theory, ladypants.
194
00:07:56,152 --> 00:07:58,329
It's precisely why we won.
195
00:07:58,454 --> 00:08:00,231
Because Roxanne may
look like all woman,
196
00:08:00,356 --> 00:08:02,066
but she thinks like a dude.
197
00:08:02,191 --> 00:08:03,650
What?
Excuse me?
198
00:08:03,816 --> 00:08:05,404
I said Jedi, you said knight.
199
00:08:05,529 --> 00:08:07,104
I said rose, you said bowl.
200
00:08:07,229 --> 00:08:10,198
- You're like 90% dude.
- I am not.
201
00:08:10,364 --> 00:08:11,741
You're drinking straight vodka.
202
00:08:11,907 --> 00:08:14,702
You eat ribs like a Wolverine.
203
00:08:14,868 --> 00:08:17,122
I mean, look at how you're sitting.
204
00:08:17,288 --> 00:08:18,816
Okay, in her defense,
205
00:08:18,941 --> 00:08:22,219
she's trying not to squish her balls.
206
00:08:22,344 --> 00:08:23,577
I... sorry.
207
00:08:26,681 --> 00:08:29,134
So, we are practicing
for a game night rematch?
208
00:08:29,300 --> 00:08:31,052
Yes, that was embarrassing.
God.
209
00:08:31,218 --> 00:08:32,529
Roxanne and mark
are more in sync than we are,
210
00:08:32,654 --> 00:08:33,721
and we're the ones getting married.
211
00:08:33,887 --> 00:08:35,598
It's just a game.
Who cares?
212
00:08:35,764 --> 00:08:38,500
Uh, no. It shows that
we're on the same wavelength.
213
00:08:38,625 --> 00:08:39,968
And why wouldn't we be
on the same wavelength
214
00:08:40,093 --> 00:08:42,856
since we're spending the rest
of our lives together?
215
00:08:43,022 --> 00:08:45,106
Okay, ready?
216
00:08:45,231 --> 00:08:47,235
I feel a weird pressure about this.
217
00:08:47,401 --> 00:08:50,679
Good. Ready?
First clue.
218
00:08:50,804 --> 00:08:53,014
Ah.
219
00:08:53,139 --> 00:08:54,242
Relief.
220
00:08:54,408 --> 00:08:56,744
No, it's museum.
221
00:08:56,910 --> 00:08:59,330
How is that museum?
What is, "ah"?
222
00:08:59,496 --> 00:09:00,655
Appreciating the art.
223
00:09:00,780 --> 00:09:02,584
Okay, nobody
appreciates art that way.
224
00:09:02,750 --> 00:09:04,252
I would just nod.
Hmm.
225
00:09:04,418 --> 00:09:05,860
Okay, well if I heard,
"hmm," I'd think "judge,"
226
00:09:05,985 --> 00:09:07,630
so that's not a good clue.
227
00:09:07,796 --> 00:09:09,296
No, it's not.
They're both bad clues.
228
00:09:09,421 --> 00:09:11,217
Louvre is a clue for museum.
229
00:09:11,383 --> 00:09:13,428
Okay, shh.
230
00:09:15,060 --> 00:09:18,304
Peek-a-boo.
231
00:09:18,429 --> 00:09:20,059
- Baby.
- Not even close.
232
00:09:23,145 --> 00:09:25,315
So, the dinner clearly didn't help.
233
00:09:25,481 --> 00:09:27,012
So, my friend Roxanne
told me that, well,
234
00:09:27,137 --> 00:09:28,781
that we should come here
and talk to you
235
00:09:28,906 --> 00:09:30,820
and get to the bottom of this,
so here we are.
236
00:09:30,986 --> 00:09:34,353
Well, you've been talking
with me for 27 minutes,
237
00:09:34,478 --> 00:09:36,121
which tells me volumes more
238
00:09:36,246 --> 00:09:38,220
than the actual words
that you've spoken.
239
00:09:38,345 --> 00:09:40,955
So, Alex. When she
talks to you, do you listen?
240
00:09:41,121 --> 00:09:44,918
Yeah.
Yes.
241
00:09:45,084 --> 00:09:47,584
Well, what was
the last thing she said?
242
00:09:48,124 --> 00:09:50,340
"There's a parking spot."
243
00:09:50,506 --> 00:09:53,426
Alex, what... what do you
feel the problem is?
244
00:09:53,592 --> 00:09:57,347
Uh, Whitney's suddenly
interested in this douchebag.
245
00:09:57,513 --> 00:09:59,209
Mm-hmm, well, what I'm
hearing is that as I dig
246
00:09:59,334 --> 00:10:03,213
through the salad of words
for the crouton of truth
247
00:10:03,338 --> 00:10:06,941
that your emotional needs
are being met
248
00:10:07,481 --> 00:10:09,820
by this fellow, Craig,
instead of by Alex.
249
00:10:09,945 --> 00:10:13,863
In fact, you're, pretty simply,
having an emotional affair.
250
00:10:14,029 --> 00:10:18,284
Emotional.
What a waste of an affair.
251
00:10:18,450 --> 00:10:21,401
I'm going to give you
some exercises to do at home
252
00:10:21,526 --> 00:10:23,432
and when you're
doing these exercises,
253
00:10:23,557 --> 00:10:26,135
they will restore your
intimacy and your communication.
254
00:10:26,260 --> 00:10:29,171
The only thing is, please,
while you're doing them,
255
00:10:29,296 --> 00:10:32,048
um, nothing sexual, because
that would spoil the intimacy.
256
00:10:32,398 --> 00:10:36,553
So, just start and begin
the first exercise, all right?
257
00:10:36,719 --> 00:10:38,513
It's designed to find out
258
00:10:38,679 --> 00:10:41,883
how comfortable you are
with each other's silences.
259
00:10:42,008 --> 00:10:43,718
So I'm just going to ask
you now, please,
260
00:10:43,843 --> 00:10:46,187
to embrace for one minute.
261
00:10:46,353 --> 00:10:49,148
And, uh, no talking.
Whitney.
262
00:10:54,586 --> 00:10:56,620
Embrace.
263
00:10:58,356 --> 00:11:00,410
Good.
264
00:11:00,576 --> 00:11:02,787
Just experience each other.
265
00:11:05,414 --> 00:11:08,376
Now, can you feel yourself
coming together?
266
00:11:08,542 --> 00:11:12,069
Oh, that almost never happens.
267
00:11:19,409 --> 00:11:22,098
So... this is weird.
268
00:11:22,264 --> 00:11:26,019
Okay, so this is supposed
to make you feel vulnerable
269
00:11:26,185 --> 00:11:29,522
so you can receive my intimacy. Ugh.
270
00:11:29,688 --> 00:11:30,662
Why don't you just get in the tub
271
00:11:30,787 --> 00:11:33,401
- so you can receive my intimacy?
- Gross.
272
00:11:33,567 --> 00:11:34,499
We're not allowed to have sex anyway.
273
00:11:34,624 --> 00:11:35,653
It is one of the rules.
274
00:11:35,819 --> 00:11:38,448
No sex, no cell phones,
no TV, no computers.
275
00:11:38,614 --> 00:11:40,074
All right, well, whatever
it is, let's just do it.
276
00:11:40,240 --> 00:11:42,997
And we're going to need rope.
277
00:11:47,581 --> 00:11:49,637
Do you always shed this much?
278
00:11:51,824 --> 00:11:53,744
Okay, so you have to wear
279
00:11:53,869 --> 00:11:55,012
these noise-canceling headphones
280
00:11:55,137 --> 00:11:57,081
to figure out how I'm feeling
281
00:11:57,206 --> 00:12:00,185
based on my body language.
282
00:12:00,310 --> 00:12:01,220
Okay.
You ready?
283
00:12:01,386 --> 00:12:02,347
I can't hear you.
284
00:12:03,305 --> 00:12:05,558
Can we keep these forever?
285
00:12:05,724 --> 00:12:07,101
Ooh, you're feeling angry.
286
00:12:07,267 --> 00:12:10,661
Okay, um, okay, I got it.
287
00:12:10,786 --> 00:12:11,995
I'm glad that the dry cleaner
288
00:12:12,120 --> 00:12:13,691
got a stain out of my favorite shirt.
289
00:12:13,857 --> 00:12:16,486
Uh-oh, somebody pissed you off.
290
00:12:16,652 --> 00:12:19,614
Okay, no, it's... it's
a good thing. It's... I'm glad.
291
00:12:19,780 --> 00:12:21,905
You feel that fashion magazines
292
00:12:22,030 --> 00:12:25,453
set unrealistic
expectations for women.
293
00:12:25,619 --> 00:12:27,830
No, I like it.
I... I love it.
294
00:12:27,996 --> 00:12:30,166
Oh, you're livid.
You're livid. What?
295
00:12:30,871 --> 00:12:32,919
Damn it, I'm happy, I'm happy.
296
00:12:33,085 --> 00:12:36,631
Oh, you're happy.
297
00:12:38,346 --> 00:12:40,551
Lil, do you think I'm like a man?
298
00:12:40,717 --> 00:12:43,513
What?
Where is this coming from?
299
00:12:43,679 --> 00:12:45,556
Mark says I'm like a dude.
300
00:12:45,722 --> 00:12:46,961
Well, you know, it depends.
301
00:12:47,086 --> 00:12:49,602
You are a beautiful female.
302
00:12:49,768 --> 00:12:51,666
Although, you do possess
what some might call,
303
00:12:51,791 --> 00:12:53,731
"a wonderfully
masculine strength," and...
304
00:12:53,897 --> 00:12:55,670
Oh, for God sakes,
Lily, don't overthink it.
305
00:12:55,795 --> 00:12:57,862
Just, do I act like a man?
306
00:12:59,231 --> 00:13:02,734
I like to have you near me
when I'm in crowds.
307
00:13:12,077 --> 00:13:14,010
All right, eye of the tiger.
308
00:13:14,459 --> 00:13:15,753
Let's do this, man.
309
00:13:15,919 --> 00:13:17,423
And go.
310
00:13:17,548 --> 00:13:18,589
Ringmaster.
311
00:13:18,755 --> 00:13:20,800
Hm, okay.
Well, you know what?
312
00:13:20,966 --> 00:13:22,428
I guess that depends, because are you
313
00:13:22,553 --> 00:13:25,131
talking about a guy who's
a master at making rings?
314
00:13:25,256 --> 00:13:27,991
- Or a guy who introduces clowns?
- Yeah, yeah.
315
00:13:28,517 --> 00:13:29,901
I'm going to go with Elijah wood.
316
00:13:30,559 --> 00:13:30,859
No.
317
00:13:30,984 --> 00:13:32,937
- And time.
- Ah!
318
00:13:33,103 --> 00:13:34,313
It was circus.
319
00:13:34,531 --> 00:13:37,066
[Gasps]
320
00:13:37,232 --> 00:13:41,737
Okay, are you ready,
focused, connected to me?
321
00:13:41,903 --> 00:13:43,364
I'm on your wavelength, hon.
322
00:13:44,489 --> 00:13:45,490
Go.
323
00:13:45,657 --> 00:13:46,617
- Ding.
- Elevator.
324
00:13:46,783 --> 00:13:48,161
- Yes. Harp.
- Massage.
325
00:13:48,327 --> 00:13:49,059
Oh, my God.
Reluctant.
326
00:13:49,184 --> 00:13:50,580
- Warrior.
- Thunderstorm.
327
00:13:50,746 --> 00:13:51,555
- Candle.
- You get me!
328
00:13:51,680 --> 00:13:52,915
Oh!
[Both laughing]
329
00:13:56,126 --> 00:13:58,276
They're really good at this, huh?
330
00:13:59,955 --> 00:14:00,998
Babe, come on.
The whole thing here
331
00:14:01,123 --> 00:14:02,299
is you got to trust me.
332
00:14:02,466 --> 00:14:04,802
So, just listen to my voice
as I guide you across
333
00:14:04,927 --> 00:14:06,837
the obstacle course
I made you, all right?
334
00:14:06,962 --> 00:14:08,931
Take five steps straight forward.
335
00:14:12,976 --> 00:14:14,144
All right, either you don't trust me
336
00:14:14,269 --> 00:14:16,856
or you want this to last forever.
337
00:14:17,022 --> 00:14:19,722
All right, take a small step
to your right.
338
00:14:21,485 --> 00:14:22,384
Okay, we have bigger problems.
339
00:14:22,509 --> 00:14:24,520
You don't know
your left from your right.
340
00:14:24,645 --> 00:14:26,157
Okay, I thought you meant your right.
341
00:14:26,323 --> 00:14:28,724
You don't even know where I am.
342
00:14:28,849 --> 00:14:31,228
[Phone rings]
343
00:14:34,915 --> 00:14:37,794
Whoa, who trained you,
and who is your target?
344
00:14:40,793 --> 00:14:42,003
It's Dr. Grant,
345
00:14:42,128 --> 00:14:43,841
but we're not supposed
to answer the phone.
346
00:14:44,007 --> 00:14:45,760
Which means you shouldn't,
which means you're probably going to.
347
00:14:45,926 --> 00:14:46,927
Hello.
348
00:14:47,667 --> 00:14:49,043
[Voicemail]
Hello, this is Dr. Grant.
349
00:14:49,168 --> 00:14:50,389
If you're listening
to this automatic message,
350
00:14:50,555 --> 00:14:52,379
then you are not committing
to the exercises
351
00:14:52,504 --> 00:14:55,182
and you need to go back
and start from the beginning.
352
00:14:55,307 --> 00:14:59,023
And remember, no sex.
353
00:14:59,189 --> 00:15:00,254
Why did you have to pick it up?
354
00:15:00,379 --> 00:15:01,984
I do not want to be
washed like a dog again.
355
00:15:02,150 --> 00:15:05,112
Well, then maybe you should
stop jumping out of the tub.
356
00:15:07,739 --> 00:15:09,195
Okay, score recap.
357
00:15:09,320 --> 00:15:11,364
Team Marxanne, 8.
358
00:15:11,489 --> 00:15:14,657
Team wedding bells, 34.
What?
359
00:15:17,541 --> 00:15:19,001
What are you doing?
Why are you throwing this game?
360
00:15:19,167 --> 00:15:20,173
What? I'm not.
361
00:15:20,298 --> 00:15:22,255
I'm just trying to tap into
my feminine side.
362
00:15:22,421 --> 00:15:26,300
If I'm throwing this game,
I'm throwing it like a girl.
363
00:15:26,466 --> 00:15:27,645
Oh, come on.
364
00:15:27,770 --> 00:15:29,581
I didn't say you look like a dude,
365
00:15:29,706 --> 00:15:30,815
you just kind of act like one.
366
00:15:30,940 --> 00:15:32,598
Which is good.
Guys find that very sexy.
367
00:15:32,764 --> 00:15:34,253
- Oh. Oh, really?
- Yeah.
368
00:15:34,378 --> 00:15:35,810
It actually makes you
more attractive, not less.
369
00:15:35,976 --> 00:15:37,186
I meant it as a compliment.
370
00:15:37,352 --> 00:15:38,396
Doesn't that make you feel better?
371
00:15:38,562 --> 00:15:40,815
Kind of.
I mean,
372
00:15:40,981 --> 00:15:44,095
it would mean more
if a man told me that.
373
00:15:44,220 --> 00:15:45,778
What's that supposed to mean?
374
00:15:45,944 --> 00:15:46,964
I just think you have a lot
375
00:15:47,089 --> 00:15:48,399
of feminine qualities, mark.
376
00:15:48,524 --> 00:15:50,968
You know, you journal, you self-tan.
377
00:15:51,093 --> 00:15:53,303
And I'm going to
go out on a limb here...
378
00:15:53,428 --> 00:15:55,746
I'm guessing you wash the gray out.
379
00:15:56,097 --> 00:15:58,958
It's called, "just for men."
380
00:15:59,124 --> 00:16:02,044
Good day, sir.
381
00:16:02,210 --> 00:16:05,048
All right, holes versus poles.
382
00:16:05,173 --> 00:16:08,084
Oh, um, mark.
Not to be all p.C. Here,
383
00:16:08,209 --> 00:16:11,012
but could you not call me a "hole."
384
00:16:12,546 --> 00:16:16,309
Oh, no.
We're the holes.
385
00:16:16,475 --> 00:16:19,328
I do see how that
could be confusing, though.
386
00:16:19,453 --> 00:16:21,320
Okay.
387
00:16:23,424 --> 00:16:26,277
Team meeting.
I need you to bring it.
388
00:16:26,443 --> 00:16:28,446
I cannot and I will not
lose to Roxanne.
389
00:16:28,612 --> 00:16:30,738
You got nothing to worry about.
390
00:16:30,863 --> 00:16:33,743
I memorized all the cards.
391
00:16:33,909 --> 00:16:35,202
What?
You're cheating?
392
00:16:35,368 --> 00:16:37,278
No, I am surviving.
393
00:16:37,403 --> 00:16:39,513
If we lose, I got to hear
all about our connection
394
00:16:39,638 --> 00:16:41,334
and how we don't
understand each other.
395
00:16:41,500 --> 00:16:43,139
Oh, yeah.
That is the worst.
396
00:16:44,130 --> 00:16:46,756
Hey, do you feel like I have
a lot of feminine qualities?
397
00:16:51,283 --> 00:16:53,554
Okay, this is a good one.
No props.
398
00:16:53,720 --> 00:16:55,528
Tell your lover a story that
you've never told them before
399
00:16:55,653 --> 00:16:57,863
to see each other in a new light.
400
00:16:57,988 --> 00:16:59,018
Your turn to go first.
401
00:16:59,184 --> 00:17:00,299
Okay, I got one.
402
00:17:00,424 --> 00:17:02,301
Uh, when I was in high school, uh,
403
00:17:02,426 --> 00:17:03,856
our bus broke down
and we got stuck in...
404
00:17:04,022 --> 00:17:06,442
You hooked up with that bald chick.
405
00:17:06,608 --> 00:17:11,477
She had peach fuzz, but anyway, um...
406
00:17:11,602 --> 00:17:13,911
Okay, um, I got another one.
407
00:17:14,036 --> 00:17:16,410
In my sophomore year in college,
408
00:17:16,576 --> 00:17:18,162
I actually got arrested,
and what happened was...
409
00:17:18,328 --> 00:17:19,584
You stole the Bob
off the Bob's big boy,
410
00:17:19,709 --> 00:17:20,957
and you threw it off the library.
411
00:17:21,123 --> 00:17:22,792
Damn it.
412
00:17:22,958 --> 00:17:25,670
It's okay, it's fine.
Okay, just do another one.
413
00:17:25,836 --> 00:17:27,125
Okay. Oh, I got a good one.
414
00:17:27,250 --> 00:17:28,631
Did I tell you about
the time I met Lou Reed?
415
00:17:28,797 --> 00:17:31,195
You met Lou Reed?
416
00:17:31,320 --> 00:17:35,680
Oh, my God.
That's crazy, what happened?
417
00:17:35,846 --> 00:17:37,567
You know what?
You're mocking me, all right?
418
00:17:37,692 --> 00:17:39,370
What... what are you doing?
This is pointless.
419
00:17:39,495 --> 00:17:40,851
This whole thing is pointless.
420
00:17:41,017 --> 00:17:42,895
I guess I ran out of stories.
421
00:17:43,061 --> 00:17:44,308
Okay, Alex, it's not a big deal.
422
00:17:44,433 --> 00:17:45,523
This doesn't mean anything.
423
00:17:45,689 --> 00:17:47,076
No, this whole thing
is stupid, all right?
424
00:17:47,201 --> 00:17:48,478
Why don't we just
move on to the next one
425
00:17:48,603 --> 00:17:50,277
and cover our naked bodies
in hot fudge.
426
00:17:50,443 --> 00:17:52,148
Okay, okay, no.
Just put your shirt on,
427
00:17:52,273 --> 00:17:54,407
let's just talk about this, okay?
428
00:17:54,573 --> 00:17:56,534
What are you so upset about?
429
00:17:56,700 --> 00:17:58,521
I'm not upset.
I'm just thinking that fudge
430
00:17:58,646 --> 00:18:02,991
will make one thing
about me interesting to you.
431
00:18:03,116 --> 00:18:04,333
Alex.
432
00:18:04,499 --> 00:18:06,377
Look, a long time ago,
when we first started dating,
433
00:18:06,543 --> 00:18:07,962
you said that if we ever got bored
434
00:18:08,087 --> 00:18:10,298
to just put a bullet in
the relationship and move on.
435
00:18:10,423 --> 00:18:11,599
Well, you know what?
I'm worried.
436
00:18:11,724 --> 00:18:13,884
I'm worried that you've gotten bored.
437
00:18:14,050 --> 00:18:16,838
Oh, my God.
438
00:18:16,963 --> 00:18:19,974
I'm not bored.
439
00:18:20,140 --> 00:18:21,175
Really?
440
00:18:21,300 --> 00:18:22,576
Because for the first time
in three years,
441
00:18:22,701 --> 00:18:24,845
I feel like somebody's
more interesting than I am.
442
00:18:24,970 --> 00:18:26,914
I mean, I never made
a website for any president
443
00:18:27,039 --> 00:18:28,082
or anything like that.
444
00:18:28,207 --> 00:18:31,652
I mean, I totally could,
I'm smart enough.
445
00:18:31,818 --> 00:18:34,720
Look, I did say that,
but that was three years ago.
446
00:18:34,845 --> 00:18:37,723
I had never been in
a real relationship before.
447
00:18:37,848 --> 00:18:39,292
I didn't know
what I was talking about.
448
00:18:39,417 --> 00:18:41,518
Three years ago I wore
cut-off Jean shorts
449
00:18:41,786 --> 00:18:44,123
with tights underneath.
450
00:18:44,289 --> 00:18:46,332
Man, never has such an easy girl
451
00:18:46,457 --> 00:18:50,171
been so hard to have sex with.
452
00:18:50,337 --> 00:18:52,504
Look, I'm not jealous
of Craig, all right?
453
00:18:52,629 --> 00:18:55,240
I mean, I wish him well.
454
00:18:55,365 --> 00:18:58,177
Him and his imaginary girlfriend.
455
00:18:58,302 --> 00:19:00,879
Look, from now on, I will share
456
00:19:01,004 --> 00:19:02,314
everything with you, okay?
457
00:19:02,439 --> 00:19:05,144
Even if I'm at work.
Everything.
458
00:19:05,310 --> 00:19:08,564
All right.
Well, that backfired.
459
00:19:14,617 --> 00:19:17,628
You know, we kind of
got through our exercises,
460
00:19:17,753 --> 00:19:20,826
so, uh, want to go
celebrate with some tub sex?
461
00:19:23,225 --> 00:19:26,436
That sounds cold.
462
00:19:26,561 --> 00:19:30,795
And like there would be
a lot of apologizing.
463
00:19:31,233 --> 00:19:33,422
Yeah, you're probably right.
464
00:19:33,588 --> 00:19:35,591
You know what would be even hotter?
465
00:19:35,757 --> 00:19:37,080
I think I do.
466
00:19:37,205 --> 00:19:39,515
Uh, you thinking what I'm thinking?
467
00:19:39,640 --> 00:19:44,183
Boring sex in our boring bed.
468
00:19:44,349 --> 00:19:48,124
Do I get to keep my shirt on?
469
00:19:48,249 --> 00:19:50,856
I'm going to go pee.
470
00:19:51,022 --> 00:19:54,953
[Phone rings]
471
00:19:58,768 --> 00:20:01,075
So... we all of the exercises,
472
00:20:01,241 --> 00:20:04,829
and we are all good now,
thanks to you, so thank you.
473
00:20:04,995 --> 00:20:06,521
Good.
Well, what I'm hearing,
474
00:20:06,646 --> 00:20:09,056
as I dig through the salad
of words in search of
475
00:20:09,181 --> 00:20:10,690
the crouton of truth,
476
00:20:10,815 --> 00:20:12,526
is that you would benefit
477
00:20:12,651 --> 00:20:15,395
from a series of exercises
from my best-selling book,
478
00:20:15,520 --> 00:20:17,424
refresh your love.
479
00:20:17,590 --> 00:20:19,933
But doc, you already assigned
us the exercises... we did them.
480
00:20:20,058 --> 00:20:23,556
We're, uh... our love is refreshed.
481
00:20:23,722 --> 00:20:26,934
Well, don't worry,
because we can fix that.
482
00:20:27,100 --> 00:20:29,520
No, we don't need fixing.
483
00:20:29,686 --> 00:20:32,378
So, moving on to the second
series of exercises
484
00:20:32,503 --> 00:20:34,447
outlined in my book,
refresh your love...
485
00:20:34,572 --> 00:20:37,883
No, look, Whit,
I think you and the doctor
486
00:20:38,008 --> 00:20:39,530
are having a communication breakdown.
487
00:20:39,696 --> 00:20:40,614
What?
488
00:20:40,780 --> 00:20:42,021
You're right.
489
00:20:42,146 --> 00:20:43,688
And I know exactly
how to deal with this.
490
00:20:43,813 --> 00:20:46,203
Alex, time us.
60-second embrace.
491
00:20:46,369 --> 00:20:50,040
No talking.
Bring it in, come on.
492
00:20:50,206 --> 00:20:52,187
Okay.
Ahh.
493
00:20:52,312 --> 00:20:56,881
Sync and correction by Mlmlte
www.addic7ed.com