1
00:00:04,070 --> 00:00:05,059
(SPECTATORS CHEERlNG ON TV)

2
00:00:05,138 --> 00:00:06,435
Hi.
Hey.

3
00:00:06,506 --> 00:00:08,235
Hi, babe.
Hey.

4
00:00:08,308 --> 00:00:09,707
We went ahead
and ate without you.

5
00:00:09,776 --> 00:00:11,903
Oh, sorry. After work,
I got dinner with Craig.

6
00:00:11,978 --> 00:00:14,037
And they had karaoke,
so I did a couple of songs.

7
00:00:14,114 --> 00:00:18,915
I went hard at
Lady Antebellum
and bombed.

8
00:00:19,652 --> 00:00:20,676
(CELL PHONE RlNGlNG)

9
00:00:20,754 --> 00:00:22,346
Oh. That's weird.

10
00:00:22,422 --> 00:00:23,411
Oh, that's Craig.

11
00:00:23,490 --> 00:00:24,479
Weren't you just
with Craig?

12
00:00:24,557 --> 00:00:25,751
Yeah,
he's such an idiot.

13
00:00:25,825 --> 00:00:26,917
What?

14
00:00:27,494 --> 00:00:30,895
Okay. Why do you want
to know my shoe size,
you psycho?

15
00:00:31,164 --> 00:00:32,222
I'm a ten.

16
00:00:32,532 --> 00:00:33,521
Uh... Okay.

17
00:00:33,600 --> 00:00:36,626
That myth is not true,
'cause I actually
have a very small penis.

18
00:00:38,405 --> 00:00:39,736
Goodbye. (LAUGHS)

19
00:00:42,742 --> 00:00:44,869
What? Craig was
buying me insoles.

20
00:00:45,245 --> 00:00:46,735
This Craig guy is
buying you insoles?

21
00:00:46,813 --> 00:00:48,337
Yeah, my feet
are killing me.

22
00:00:48,415 --> 00:00:50,383
High heels are evil.
Whoever invented
these things

23
00:00:50,450 --> 00:00:51,883
were trying
to make women
easier to catch

24
00:00:51,951 --> 00:00:53,316
and drag back
to their caves.

25
00:00:55,055 --> 00:00:56,989
And he said he was
at the drug store
and he thought of me.

26
00:00:57,290 --> 00:00:59,690
Okay. You don't
think about a girl
at the drug store

27
00:00:59,759 --> 00:01:00,783
unless you're
sleeping with her

28
00:01:00,860 --> 00:01:04,489
or you have
an unfortunate souvenir
from sleeping with her.

29
00:01:06,132 --> 00:01:08,066
This guy knows you have
a boyfriend, right?

30
00:01:08,134 --> 00:01:11,001
One that looks
and may possibly be tough?

31
00:01:13,073 --> 00:01:14,438
What are
you guys implying?

32
00:01:14,607 --> 00:01:17,701
That Craig's interest in you
doesn't stop at your feet.

33
00:01:19,179 --> 00:01:21,477
It travels due north
from there.

34
00:01:22,215 --> 00:01:24,342
And then,
it goes slightly south.

35
00:01:24,417 --> 00:01:26,510
And then, it goes
back up north.

36
00:01:26,619 --> 00:01:28,143
And then,
it goes east, west,
east, west, east, west.

37
00:01:28,221 --> 00:01:29,313
Okay.
Mark.

38
00:01:31,958 --> 00:01:32,982
Sorry.

39
00:01:33,093 --> 00:01:35,084
Craig and I just
work together.

40
00:01:35,662 --> 00:01:37,562
Yeah, but you don't
just work together.
You know?

41
00:01:37,630 --> 00:01:41,623
He gets you stuff,
he calls you after work,
you guys do karaoke...

44
00:01:46,773 --> 00:01:48,638
Craig and l
are just friends.

45
00:01:48,875 --> 00:01:50,604
Yeah? What's this
friend look like?

46
00:01:51,177 --> 00:01:52,303
I will show you.

47
00:01:52,378 --> 00:01:56,610
And you will see
that Craig is just Craig.

48
00:01:56,883 --> 00:01:58,612
You have a picture
ofthis guy
in your phone?

49
00:01:58,685 --> 00:01:59,845
Okay.

50
00:02:00,053 --> 00:02:02,248
He was wearing
a boat neck sweater.

51
00:02:02,322 --> 00:02:04,722
What, was I not going
to take a picture?

52
00:02:04,791 --> 00:02:07,521
Oy. Glasses. Smart guy.
They're the worst.

53
00:02:07,594 --> 00:02:08,686
They can't get
in your pants,

54
00:02:08,761 --> 00:02:12,288
so they get in your brain
and they work their way south.

55
00:02:12,632 --> 00:02:14,862
And then they go
back up north.

56
00:02:15,001 --> 00:02:17,231
And then
they go east and west
and east and west.

57
00:02:17,303 --> 00:02:19,567
Mark. This is ridiculous.

58
00:02:19,639 --> 00:02:21,231
There is nothing going on.

59
00:02:21,307 --> 00:02:24,504
Craig has a girlfriend
named Marcine who
he's been with forever.

60
00:02:24,611 --> 00:02:26,044
Marcine?

61
00:02:29,749 --> 00:02:30,875
(LAUGHlNG) Yes.

62
00:02:31,217 --> 00:02:33,447
I mean, that's obviously
a name you make up
when you're lying.

63
00:02:33,520 --> 00:02:34,646
Okay.

64
00:02:35,588 --> 00:02:37,078
Alex. Seriously?

65
00:02:37,557 --> 00:02:38,615
Seriously.

66
00:02:38,725 --> 00:02:42,092
The weirdest part is
you and Craig would
totally love each other.

67
00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:43,993
All right, you know what?
Let's do a dinner.

68
00:02:44,063 --> 00:02:45,587
You, me, Craig,
and Marcine.

69
00:02:45,665 --> 00:02:48,031
No. I do not want
to do a dinner.

70
00:02:49,636 --> 00:02:51,433
It will get you out
of game night
with Lily and Neal.

71
00:02:53,239 --> 00:02:54,467
Okay, I'll do a dinner.

72
00:02:56,509 --> 00:02:59,103
ALEX: Whitney is taped
in front of a live
studio audience.

73
00:02:59,179 --> 00:03:00,271
WHlTNEY: Shut up.

74
00:03:04,784 --> 00:03:07,514
What is it about couples
after they've been together
for a year?

75
00:03:07,787 --> 00:03:11,120
Their need
to host game nights
becomes all-consuming.

76
00:03:11,958 --> 00:03:12,982
Don't chat me up.

77
00:03:13,059 --> 00:03:14,048
We're not on
the same team.

78
00:03:14,127 --> 00:03:16,891
Well, how do you know?
Because we're going to play
holes versus poles.

79
00:03:18,631 --> 00:03:21,566
I want to win,
and I cannot win
with a woman.

80
00:03:22,035 --> 00:03:23,866
Well, that might
have more to do

81
00:03:23,937 --> 00:03:26,667
with your use
of phrases like
"holes versus poles."

82
00:03:27,507 --> 00:03:29,702
Think about it.
Have you ever seen
a woman win Jeopardy?

83
00:03:29,809 --> 00:03:31,333
Yes. I have.

84
00:03:31,611 --> 00:03:34,011
I'm not saying
that women are dumb.

85
00:03:34,080 --> 00:03:35,513
I am saying
they're too smart.

86
00:03:35,582 --> 00:03:37,106
They over-think everything.

87
00:03:37,183 --> 00:03:39,014
Largest animal.
"Um, that depends.

88
00:03:39,085 --> 00:03:40,848
"Are we talking
land or water?
Height or weight?"

89
00:03:40,920 --> 00:03:42,478
(MlMlCS BUZZER)

90
00:03:42,922 --> 00:03:44,287
Time's up.
Blue whale. Boom.

91
00:03:45,658 --> 00:03:47,489
Okay. Neal and l
are engaged.
We're a team.

92
00:03:47,627 --> 00:03:49,390
No!

93
00:03:49,596 --> 00:03:51,530
Mark, you are
comfortably in your 30s.

94
00:03:53,700 --> 00:03:55,292
Skooch, skooch.
Ugh!

95
00:03:57,403 --> 00:04:01,533
Just don't slow me down
with your slovaries.

96
00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:04,540
And, go.
Candy.

97
00:04:04,877 --> 00:04:06,344
Uh... Cane.
Yes.

98
00:04:06,412 --> 00:04:07,538
March.
Madness.

99
00:04:07,614 --> 00:04:09,548
Yes! Pig.
Skin.

100
00:04:09,782 --> 00:04:11,682
Got it! Spike.
TV.

101
00:04:11,784 --> 00:04:14,878
Yeah!
That's how it's done.

102
00:04:15,021 --> 00:04:16,147
(LAUGHS)
Wow.

103
00:04:16,256 --> 00:04:17,917
Our work is cut out
for us, partner.

104
00:04:18,224 --> 00:04:20,954
Yeah. I'm not worried
at all, partner.

105
00:04:21,027 --> 00:04:23,325
Nope.
All right. Go.

106
00:04:24,030 --> 00:04:25,395
(CLEARlNG THROAT)

107
00:04:27,767 --> 00:04:28,756
"Oak."

108
00:04:30,336 --> 00:04:31,428
Tree.

109
00:04:34,040 --> 00:04:36,008
Nope. Uh...

110
00:04:37,443 --> 00:04:38,501
Place.

111
00:04:40,413 --> 00:04:41,641
Forest.

112
00:04:42,482 --> 00:04:43,676
(CLEARlNG THROAT)

113
00:04:44,617 --> 00:04:45,641
Baseball.

114
00:04:47,920 --> 00:04:49,387
Bat?
No.

115
00:04:49,656 --> 00:04:51,283
Come on, Neal.
You're all over
the map here.

116
00:04:51,524 --> 00:04:53,389
Okay, let's not panic.

117
00:04:53,626 --> 00:04:55,617
Central.
Cen... Well, now,
you're just saying words.

118
00:04:55,695 --> 00:04:56,923
That's what this game is.

119
00:04:56,996 --> 00:04:58,361
And that's time.
Ah.

120
00:04:58,698 --> 00:05:00,359
With their yogurt!
(LAUGHlNG)

121
00:05:00,933 --> 00:05:02,127
How many times
are you going to write
your name on...

122
00:05:02,201 --> 00:05:03,361
(LAUGHlNG) I know.

123
00:05:03,436 --> 00:05:04,801
(FAKE LAUGH)

124
00:05:05,204 --> 00:05:08,139
So, it's so weird
that you guys have
never met before.

125
00:05:08,207 --> 00:05:09,765
Because you guys both
come here all the time.

126
00:05:09,876 --> 00:05:12,436
Oh. Marcine and l
love this place.

127
00:05:12,512 --> 00:05:14,844
Oh, by the way,
I'm so sorry that
she couldn't make it.

128
00:05:14,914 --> 00:05:16,381
WHlTNEY: Hmm.

129
00:05:17,050 --> 00:05:18,176
Yeah. Me, too.

130
00:05:18,251 --> 00:05:19,240
You know, and then,
when you showed up

131
00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:22,482
and you said
she was sick,
I was like, "No."

132
00:05:24,624 --> 00:05:26,990
You know, you guys both
created websites.

133
00:05:27,060 --> 00:05:28,994
Before Craig was
at the magazine,
he had a website, too.

134
00:05:29,062 --> 00:05:30,586
So, tell him
about yours.

135
00:05:30,663 --> 00:05:32,597
Oh, yeah.
I have a... A video
sharing website.

136
00:05:32,665 --> 00:05:34,030
Mmm-hmm.
Oh, that's so cool.

137
00:05:34,100 --> 00:05:36,534
Oh, I just built one
for Obama because
he's a friend.

138
00:05:38,538 --> 00:05:40,768
Brendan Fraser slept
with my ex-girlfriend.

139
00:05:45,011 --> 00:05:47,275
You guys both
also play guitar.
Don't you play guitar?

140
00:05:47,347 --> 00:05:49,941
Oh, yeah. That...
That was years ago
in school. So...

141
00:05:50,016 --> 00:05:51,176
Well, I was
just self-taught.

142
00:05:51,451 --> 00:05:52,782
Oh, that...
That sounds fun.

143
00:05:52,852 --> 00:05:55,150
'Cause Juilliard
was a real grind.

144
00:05:56,989 --> 00:05:58,581
Oh, by the way,
how is your dad
feeling?

145
00:05:58,658 --> 00:06:00,250
Oh, he's so much better.
Thank you.

146
00:06:00,626 --> 00:06:01,615
What... What happened
with your dad?

147
00:06:01,694 --> 00:06:03,059
Oh, he had to go
to the emergency room,

148
00:06:03,129 --> 00:06:04,892
but it turns out
it was just heartburn.

149
00:06:04,964 --> 00:06:06,056
When? Why didn't
you tell me?

150
00:06:06,933 --> 00:06:08,594
I told you.
It was yesterday.
Didn't I tell you?

151
00:06:08,668 --> 00:06:10,329
No, you didn't tell me.

152
00:06:10,536 --> 00:06:12,595
Oh, it... It's just
that my dad's been
feeling sick, too.

153
00:06:12,672 --> 00:06:13,661
Oh.

154
00:06:13,973 --> 00:06:14,997
(CLEARS THROAT)

155
00:06:15,074 --> 00:06:17,406
My mom's going
through menopause.

156
00:06:20,747 --> 00:06:23,648
So, we're just kind of
taking it day by day.

157
00:06:25,485 --> 00:06:28,750
I've got the seafood tower
for two.

158
00:06:28,888 --> 00:06:31,015
And the personal pizza.

159
00:06:31,557 --> 00:06:33,354
Thanks.
That looks good.

160
00:06:34,427 --> 00:06:35,553
Yeah.

161
00:06:35,962 --> 00:06:38,556
I never get to order this.
Marcine hates shellfish.

162
00:06:38,631 --> 00:06:39,893
Oh, so does Alex.

163
00:06:39,966 --> 00:06:41,695
Uh, Whitney,
can I give you crabs?

164
00:06:41,768 --> 00:06:43,395
BOTH: Too late!
(LAUGHlNG)

165
00:06:44,203 --> 00:06:48,435
Awesome. Wow.
An STD joke
about my girlfriend.

166
00:06:53,012 --> 00:06:54,411
Alex is jealous of Craig?

167
00:06:55,548 --> 00:06:58,915
Are you talking about
Craig from work
or Daniel Craig?

168
00:07:00,319 --> 00:07:03,720
It's so weird.
And Alex is never jealous.
I'm the jealous one.

169
00:07:03,790 --> 00:07:04,848
I mean... Ugh!

170
00:07:04,924 --> 00:07:07,654
Now, I know
how annoying it is
to date me.

171
00:07:08,528 --> 00:07:10,860
This must be about
something else.

172
00:07:10,930 --> 00:07:12,761
My advice?
Get ahead of this,

173
00:07:12,832 --> 00:07:13,890
because it will
only get worse.

174
00:07:13,966 --> 00:07:16,093
You're going to need
to dig deep and
do the hard work.

175
00:07:16,436 --> 00:07:19,166
Ugh. Sex in the morning?

176
00:07:21,073 --> 00:07:23,007
No. I was talking about
couples therapy.

177
00:07:23,209 --> 00:07:26,804
(GASPS) My friends
went to this guy.
Saved their relationship.

178
00:07:26,879 --> 00:07:28,938
He was totally
on her side.

179
00:07:29,449 --> 00:07:32,577
Good. 'Cause I am not
going to therapy
unless I know I can win.

180
00:07:32,919 --> 00:07:34,648
Hey, hey, hey.
Partner.
Hey.

181
00:07:34,821 --> 00:07:36,789
Nice win last night.

182
00:07:36,923 --> 00:07:39,687
Now, do you now see
how idiotic your theory is
about women playing games?

183
00:07:40,393 --> 00:07:42,623
It can't possibly
be as idiotic
as his theory

184
00:07:42,695 --> 00:07:44,686
about how women can't
be lactose intolerant

185
00:07:44,764 --> 00:07:46,823
because they produce
breast milk.

186
00:07:48,267 --> 00:07:51,168
What?
You can dish it out,
but you can't take it?

187
00:07:55,374 --> 00:07:58,366
And it's more
than a theory,
ladypants.

188
00:07:58,444 --> 00:08:00,275
It's precisely
why we won.

189
00:08:00,346 --> 00:08:03,838
Because Roxanne may
look like all woman,
but she thinks like a dude.

190
00:08:04,083 --> 00:08:05,641
What? Excuse me?

191
00:08:06,052 --> 00:08:07,280
I said, "Jedi."
You said, "Knight."

192
00:08:07,353 --> 00:08:08,877
I said, "Rose."
You said, "Bowl."

193
00:08:09,088 --> 00:08:10,555
You're, like, 90% dude.

194
00:08:10,690 --> 00:08:12,180
I am not. What?

195
00:08:12,458 --> 00:08:13,686
You're drinking
straight vodka.

196
00:08:14,360 --> 00:08:15,554
You eat ribs
like a wolverine.

197
00:08:15,928 --> 00:08:18,453
I mean, look at
how you're sitting.

198
00:08:20,099 --> 00:08:22,829
In her defense,
she's trying not
to squish her balls.

199
00:08:24,170 --> 00:08:25,296
I'm sorry.

200
00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:31,102
So, we are practicing
for a game night rematch.

201
00:08:31,177 --> 00:08:32,508
Yes.
That was embarrassing.

202
00:08:32,578 --> 00:08:34,637
God. Roxanne and Mark
are more in sync
than we are,

203
00:08:34,714 --> 00:08:35,738
and we're the ones
getting married.

204
00:08:35,815 --> 00:08:37,578
It's just a game.
Who cares?

205
00:08:37,650 --> 00:08:40,483
Uh, no.
It shows that we're on
the same wavelength.

206
00:08:40,553 --> 00:08:42,180
And why wouldn't we be
on the same wavelength,

207
00:08:42,255 --> 00:08:43,984
since we're spending
the rest of our lives
together?

208
00:08:44,790 --> 00:08:46,087
Okay, ready?

209
00:08:47,193 --> 00:08:49,184
I feel a weird pressure
about this.

210
00:08:49,262 --> 00:08:51,127
Good. Ready?
First clue.

211
00:08:52,765 --> 00:08:53,754
Ah.

212
00:08:55,201 --> 00:08:56,190
Relief.

213
00:08:56,302 --> 00:08:58,668
No. It's museum.

214
00:08:58,738 --> 00:09:01,298
How is that museum?
What is "ah"?

215
00:09:01,407 --> 00:09:02,772
I'm appreciating the art.

216
00:09:02,842 --> 00:09:05,811
Okay, nobody
appreciates art that way.
I would just nod. Hmm.

217
00:09:05,878 --> 00:09:08,142
Okay.
Well, if I heard "hmm,"
I'd think "judge."

218
00:09:08,214 --> 00:09:09,579
So, that's
not a good clue.

219
00:09:09,649 --> 00:09:11,617
No, it's not.
They're both bad clues.

220
00:09:11,684 --> 00:09:13,117
"Louvre" is a clue
for museum.

221
00:09:13,185 --> 00:09:14,174
Okay.

222
00:09:17,123 --> 00:09:18,181
Peekaboo.

223
00:09:19,759 --> 00:09:20,851
Baby.

224
00:09:21,294 --> 00:09:22,955
Not even close.
Oh.

225
00:09:25,464 --> 00:09:27,227
So, the dinner
clearly didn't help.

226
00:09:27,300 --> 00:09:28,665
So, my friend, Roxanne,
told me that...

227
00:09:28,734 --> 00:09:30,668
Well, that... That
we should come here

228
00:09:30,736 --> 00:09:31,964
and talk to you
and get to the bottom
of this.

229
00:09:32,038 --> 00:09:33,062
So, here we are.

230
00:09:33,139 --> 00:09:36,267
Well, you've been talking,
Whitney, for 27 minutes.

231
00:09:36,342 --> 00:09:40,073
Which tells me volumes
more than the actual words
that you've spoken.

232
00:09:40,146 --> 00:09:42,910
So, Alex,
when she talks to you,
do you listen?

233
00:09:44,016 --> 00:09:45,108
Yeah.

234
00:09:45,785 --> 00:09:46,843
Yes.

235
00:09:47,053 --> 00:09:48,350
Well, what was
the last thing
she said?

236
00:09:50,022 --> 00:09:52,047
"There's a parking spot."

237
00:09:52,658 --> 00:09:55,149
Alex, uh, what...
What do you feel
the problem is?

238
00:09:55,628 --> 00:09:58,597
Uh, Whitney is
suddenly interested
in this douche-bag.

239
00:09:58,664 --> 00:10:00,495
Mmm-hmm. Well,
what I'm hearing is that,

240
00:10:00,566 --> 00:10:02,761
as I dig through
the salad ofwords

241
00:10:02,835 --> 00:10:05,167
for the...
The crouton of truth,

242
00:10:05,237 --> 00:10:08,400
that your... Your
emotional needs

243
00:10:08,474 --> 00:10:11,739
are being met
by this fellow Craig
instead of by Alex.

244
00:10:11,811 --> 00:10:15,713
In fact, you're pretty simply
having an emotional affair.

245
00:10:15,948 --> 00:10:17,609
Emotional?
Mmm-hmm.

246
00:10:17,984 --> 00:10:19,975
What a waste
of an affair.

247
00:10:20,319 --> 00:10:23,379
I'm going to give
you some exercises
to do at home.

248
00:10:23,456 --> 00:10:25,253
And when you're
doing these exercises,

249
00:10:25,324 --> 00:10:28,122
they will restore
your intimacy
and your communication.

250
00:10:28,194 --> 00:10:31,027
The only thing is, please,
while you're doing them...

251
00:10:31,097 --> 00:10:32,621
Nothing sexual.

252
00:10:32,698 --> 00:10:34,393
Because that would
spoil the intimacy.

253
00:10:34,467 --> 00:10:36,662
Huh?
So, just start.

254
00:10:36,769 --> 00:10:38,532
Begin the first exercise.
All right?

255
00:10:38,771 --> 00:10:44,107
It's designed to find out
how comfortable you are
with each other's silences.

256
00:10:44,176 --> 00:10:45,768
So, I'm just going to
ask you now, please,

257
00:10:45,845 --> 00:10:47,972
to embrace
for one minute.

258
00:10:48,314 --> 00:10:50,043
Mmm-hmm.
And no talking.

259
00:10:50,616 --> 00:10:51,844
Whitney.

260
00:10:54,654 --> 00:10:55,916
(SlGHS)

261
00:10:56,589 --> 00:10:57,681
Embrace.

262
00:10:57,757 --> 00:10:58,985
(CLEARS THROAT)

263
00:11:00,226 --> 00:11:01,215
Good.

264
00:11:02,094 --> 00:11:04,619
Just experience
each other. Hmm.

265
00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:10,335
Now, can you feel
yourself coming together?

266
00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:12,865
Oh, that almost
never happens.

267
00:11:21,347 --> 00:11:23,713
So, this is weird.

268
00:11:25,084 --> 00:11:27,985
Okay. So, this is supposed
to make you feel vulnerable

269
00:11:28,054 --> 00:11:30,488
so you can
receive my intimacy.

270
00:11:30,556 --> 00:11:31,614
Ugh.

271
00:11:31,691 --> 00:11:34,319
Why don't you just
get in the tub so you can
receive my intimacy?

272
00:11:34,393 --> 00:11:36,486
Gross. We're not
allowed to have sex,
anyway.

273
00:11:36,562 --> 00:11:37,620
It is one of the rules.

274
00:11:37,763 --> 00:11:40,391
No sex, no cell phones,
no TV, no computers.

275
00:11:40,466 --> 00:11:42,024
All right.
Well, whatever it is,
let's just do it.

276
00:11:42,401 --> 00:11:44,369
And we're going
to need rope.

277
00:11:46,605 --> 00:11:48,129
(CLEARS THROAT)

278
00:11:49,642 --> 00:11:51,769
Do you always
shed this much?

279
00:11:55,114 --> 00:11:58,208
Okay. So, you have
to wear these noise
canceling headphones

280
00:11:58,284 --> 00:12:02,118
to figure out
how I'm feeling based
on my body language.

281
00:12:03,456 --> 00:12:04,445
Okay. Are you ready?

282
00:12:04,824 --> 00:12:06,348
I can't hear you.

283
00:12:06,425 --> 00:12:07,687
Can we keep
these forever?

284
00:12:09,128 --> 00:12:10,390
Ooh, you're feeling angry.

285
00:12:10,463 --> 00:12:11,930
(LAUGHS) Okay.

286
00:12:11,997 --> 00:12:13,931
Um... Okay, I got it.

287
00:12:13,999 --> 00:12:16,900
I am glad that
the dry cleaner got a stain
out of my favorite shirt.

288
00:12:17,136 --> 00:12:19,400
Uh-oh.
Somebody pissed you off.

289
00:12:19,805 --> 00:12:21,397
Okay. No, it's...
It's a good thing.

290
00:12:21,474 --> 00:12:22,907
It's... I'm...
I'm glad.

291
00:12:23,142 --> 00:12:25,201
You feel
that fashion magazines

292
00:12:25,277 --> 00:12:27,142
set unrealistic expectations
for women.

293
00:12:27,213 --> 00:12:28,646
Okay. No.

294
00:12:29,181 --> 00:12:31,115
No, I like it.
I... I love it.

295
00:12:31,183 --> 00:12:32,810
It's good.
Oh, you're livid.
You're livid!

296
00:12:32,918 --> 00:12:34,408
What?

297
00:12:34,520 --> 00:12:36,249
Damn it! I'm happy!
I'm happy!

298
00:12:36,322 --> 00:12:38,153
Oh, you're happy.

299
00:12:41,594 --> 00:12:43,755
Lil. Do you think
I'm like a man?

300
00:12:44,196 --> 00:12:46,756
What? Where is this
coming from?

301
00:12:47,066 --> 00:12:48,727
Mark says
I'm like a dude.

302
00:12:48,968 --> 00:12:50,230
Well, you know,
it depends.

303
00:12:50,302 --> 00:12:52,930
You are a...
A beautiful female.

304
00:12:53,305 --> 00:12:55,330
Although you do possess
what some might call

305
00:12:55,407 --> 00:12:57,034
a wonderfully
masculine strength, and...

306
00:12:57,243 --> 00:12:58,972
Oh, for God's sakes, Lily,
don't over-think it.

307
00:12:59,044 --> 00:13:01,171
Just... Do I act
like a man?

308
00:13:02,448 --> 00:13:04,939
I like to have you near me
when I'm in crowds.

309
00:13:08,087 --> 00:13:10,817
MARK: Come on, broads.
Let's game it up.

310
00:13:11,690 --> 00:13:13,089
(CLEARlNG THROAT)

311
00:13:15,294 --> 00:13:17,023
All right.
Eye of the tiger.

312
00:13:17,096 --> 00:13:18,324
Let's do this, man.

313
00:13:19,431 --> 00:13:20,659
And, go.

314
00:13:20,900 --> 00:13:21,958
Ringmaster.

315
00:13:22,034 --> 00:13:25,197
Hmm. Okay, well,
you know what?
I guess that depends.

316
00:13:25,271 --> 00:13:26,568
Because are you talking
about a guy

317
00:13:26,639 --> 00:13:28,402
who is a master
at making rings,

318
00:13:28,474 --> 00:13:30,465
or a guy who
introduces clowns?

319
00:13:30,576 --> 00:13:31,873
Yeah. Yeah.

320
00:13:31,944 --> 00:13:33,411
I'm going to go
with Elijah Wood.

321
00:13:33,479 --> 00:13:34,605
No.
And, time.

322
00:13:34,680 --> 00:13:35,704
Ah!

323
00:13:36,515 --> 00:13:37,573
It was "circus."

324
00:13:37,650 --> 00:13:39,049
Oh. (GASPS)

325
00:13:39,118 --> 00:13:40,176
Huh?

326
00:13:40,586 --> 00:13:43,555
Okay. Are you ready?
Focused?

327
00:13:43,856 --> 00:13:44,982
Connected to me?

328
00:13:45,157 --> 00:13:46,681
I'm on your
wavelength, hon.

329
00:13:47,726 --> 00:13:48,750
Go.

330
00:13:48,894 --> 00:13:49,952
Ding.
Elevator.

331
00:13:50,129 --> 00:13:51,460
Yes. Harp.
Massage.

332
00:13:51,530 --> 00:13:53,020
Oh, my God.
Reluctant.
Warrior.

333
00:13:53,098 --> 00:13:54,087
Thunderstorm.
Candle.

334
00:13:54,166 --> 00:13:56,134
You get me!
(YELLS EXClTEDLY)

335
00:13:59,505 --> 00:14:00,699
They're really good
at this, huh?

336
00:14:03,576 --> 00:14:05,567
Babe, come on.
The whole thing here is
you've got to trust me.

337
00:14:05,644 --> 00:14:08,010
So, just listen to my voice
as I guide you across

338
00:14:08,080 --> 00:14:09,604
the obstacle course
I made you. All right?

339
00:14:09,682 --> 00:14:12,116
Okay.
Take five steps
straight forward.

340
00:14:16,288 --> 00:14:17,448
All right. Either you
don't trust me,

341
00:14:17,523 --> 00:14:18,547
or you want this
to last forever.

342
00:14:19,758 --> 00:14:21,988
All right.
Take a small step
to your right.

343
00:14:24,630 --> 00:14:25,654
Okay, we have
bigger problems.

344
00:14:25,731 --> 00:14:26,823
You don't know your left
from your right.

345
00:14:26,899 --> 00:14:29,390
Okay. Okay, I thought
you meant your right.

346
00:14:29,535 --> 00:14:31,093
You don't even know
where I am.

347
00:14:31,537 --> 00:14:33,198
(CELL PHONE RlNGlNG)

348
00:14:37,977 --> 00:14:40,946
Whoa. Who trained you,
and who is your target?

349
00:14:43,916 --> 00:14:47,147
It's... It's Dr. Grant.
But we're not supposed
to answer the phone.

350
00:14:47,219 --> 00:14:48,208
Which means
you shouldn't.

351
00:14:48,287 --> 00:14:49,311
Which means
you're probably going to.

352
00:14:49,388 --> 00:14:51,618
Hello?
DR. GRANT ON PHONE:
Hello, this is Dr. Grant.

353
00:14:51,690 --> 00:14:53,624
Ifyou're listening to
this automatic message,

354
00:14:53,692 --> 00:14:55,819
then you are
not committing
to the exercises,

355
00:14:55,895 --> 00:14:58,295
and you need to
go back and start
from the beginning.

356
00:14:58,364 --> 00:15:00,696
And remember, no sex.

357
00:15:02,468 --> 00:15:03,457
Why did you have
to pick it up?

358
00:15:03,535 --> 00:15:05,264
I do not want to
be washed like
a dog again.

359
00:15:05,471 --> 00:15:08,406
Well, then,
maybe you should stop
jumping out of the tub.

360
00:15:11,043 --> 00:15:12,374
Okay. Score recap.

361
00:15:12,444 --> 00:15:15,936
Team Marxanne, eight.
Team Wedding Bells, 34.

362
00:15:16,015 --> 00:15:17,346
What?
(GRUNTS lN FRUSTRATlON)

363
00:15:20,853 --> 00:15:22,320
What are you doing?
Why are you throwing
this game?

364
00:15:22,388 --> 00:15:25,516
What? I'm not.
I'm just trying to tap
into my feminine side.

365
00:15:26,525 --> 00:15:29,551
If I'm throwing this game,
I'm throwing it like a girl.

366
00:15:29,762 --> 00:15:32,822
Oh, come on.
I didn't say
you look like a dude.

367
00:15:32,898 --> 00:15:34,388
You just kind of
act like one.

368
00:15:34,466 --> 00:15:35,899
Which is good.
Guys find that very sexy.

369
00:15:35,968 --> 00:15:37,401
Oh. Oh, really?
Yeah.

370
00:15:37,469 --> 00:15:39,164
It actually makes you
more attractive, not less.

371
00:15:39,305 --> 00:15:40,499
I meant it
as a compliment.

372
00:15:40,606 --> 00:15:41,698
Doesn't that
make you feel better?

373
00:15:42,408 --> 00:15:43,568
Kind of.

374
00:15:43,642 --> 00:15:46,338
I mean, it would mean more
if a man told me that.

375
00:15:48,013 --> 00:15:49,037
What is that supposed
to mean?

376
00:15:49,148 --> 00:15:51,548
I just think you have a lot
of feminine qualities, Mark.

377
00:15:51,617 --> 00:15:54,745
You know, you journal,
you self-tan...

378
00:15:54,820 --> 00:15:56,549
And I'm going to go out
on a limb here.

379
00:15:56,622 --> 00:15:59,090
I'm guessing you wash
the gray out.

380
00:15:59,692 --> 00:16:01,250
It's called
Just For Men.

381
00:16:02,895 --> 00:16:03,987
Good day, sir.

382
00:16:05,631 --> 00:16:08,065
All right.
Holes versus poles.

383
00:16:08,400 --> 00:16:11,665
Oh, Mark? Not to be
all P.C. here,

384
00:16:11,737 --> 00:16:14,103
but could you not
call me a hole?

385
00:16:15,908 --> 00:16:18,570
Oh. No.
We're the holes.

386
00:16:19,445 --> 00:16:21,470
I do see how that could
be confusing, though.

387
00:16:22,982 --> 00:16:24,074
Okay.

388
00:16:26,552 --> 00:16:28,247
Team meeting.
(CLEARS THROAT)

389
00:16:28,320 --> 00:16:29,446
I need you to bring it.

390
00:16:29,621 --> 00:16:31,748
I cannot
and I will not lose
to Roxanne.

391
00:16:32,024 --> 00:16:34,356
You've got nothing
to worry about.

392
00:16:34,426 --> 00:16:36,986
(WHlSPERlNG) I memorized
all the cards.

393
00:16:37,096 --> 00:16:38,495
What? You're cheating?

394
00:16:38,564 --> 00:16:40,464
No, I am surviving.

395
00:16:40,532 --> 00:16:42,727
Ifwe lose,
I've got to hear all
about our connection

396
00:16:42,801 --> 00:16:44,598
and how we don't
understand each other.

397
00:16:44,670 --> 00:16:45,932
Oh, yeah.
That is the worst.

398
00:16:46,005 --> 00:16:49,702
Hey. Do you feel
like I have a lot
of feminine qualities?

399
00:16:54,613 --> 00:16:55,671
Okay.
This is a good one.

400
00:16:55,748 --> 00:16:57,010
No props.

401
00:16:57,082 --> 00:16:58,913
"Tell your lover a story
that you've never
told them before

402
00:16:58,984 --> 00:17:01,043
"to see each other
in a new light."

403
00:17:01,120 --> 00:17:02,246
Your turn to go first.

404
00:17:02,821 --> 00:17:04,220
Okay, I've got one.

405
00:17:04,289 --> 00:17:06,849
When I was in high school,
our bus broke down,
and we got stuck...

406
00:17:06,925 --> 00:17:09,553
And you hooked up
with that bald chick.

407
00:17:10,763 --> 00:17:12,253
All right.
She had peach fuzz.

408
00:17:12,331 --> 00:17:13,423
But, anyway...

409
00:17:15,234 --> 00:17:16,565
Okay, I've got
another one.

410
00:17:16,635 --> 00:17:19,729
In my sophomore year
in college,

411
00:17:19,805 --> 00:17:21,397
I actually got arrested.
And what happened was,
when l...

412
00:17:21,473 --> 00:17:23,270
You stole the Bob
off the Bob's Big Boy

413
00:17:23,342 --> 00:17:25,310
and you threw it
off the library.
Damn it.

414
00:17:26,245 --> 00:17:29,043
It's okay.
It's fine. Okay. Just...
Just do another one.

415
00:17:29,281 --> 00:17:30,441
Okay.
Oh, I got a good one.

416
00:17:30,516 --> 00:17:31,949
Did I tell you
about the time
I met Lou Reed?

417
00:17:32,818 --> 00:17:34,410
You met Lou Reed?

418
00:17:34,486 --> 00:17:36,477
Oh, my God.
That's crazy.

419
00:17:36,555 --> 00:17:38,079
What happened?

420
00:17:39,825 --> 00:17:41,258
You know what?
You're mocking me.
All right?

421
00:17:41,326 --> 00:17:42,418
What... What...
What are you doing?

422
00:17:42,494 --> 00:17:44,155
This is pointless.
This whole thing
is pointless.

423
00:17:44,229 --> 00:17:45,423
I... I guess I ran out
of stories.

424
00:17:45,497 --> 00:17:47,192
Okay, Alex,
it's not a big deal.

425
00:17:47,266 --> 00:17:48,824
This doesn't mean anything.

426
00:17:49,001 --> 00:17:50,195
No, this whole thing
is stupid.

427
00:17:50,269 --> 00:17:51,463
All right? Why don't
we just move on
to the next one

428
00:17:51,537 --> 00:17:53,402
and cover
our naked bodies
in hot fudge?

429
00:17:53,572 --> 00:17:54,800
Okay. Okay, no.
Just, don't... Please.

430
00:17:54,873 --> 00:17:57,671
Put your shirt on.
Let's just talk
about this. Okay?

431
00:17:58,610 --> 00:17:59,770
What are you
so upset about?

432
00:17:59,845 --> 00:18:01,039
I'm not upset.
I'm just thinking

433
00:18:01,113 --> 00:18:04,207
that fudge will
make one thing about me
interesting to you.

434
00:18:06,552 --> 00:18:07,644
Alex.

435
00:18:07,786 --> 00:18:09,686
Look. A long time ago,
when we first
started dating,

436
00:18:09,755 --> 00:18:11,245
you said that
if we ever get bored,

437
00:18:11,323 --> 00:18:13,587
to just put a bullet
in the relationship
and move on.

438
00:18:13,659 --> 00:18:14,717
Well, you know what?
I'm worried.

439
00:18:14,793 --> 00:18:17,057
I'm worried that
you've gotten bored.

440
00:18:17,996 --> 00:18:19,361
Oh, my God.

441
00:18:21,033 --> 00:18:22,864
I'm not bored.

442
00:18:23,335 --> 00:18:24,495
Really?

443
00:18:24,570 --> 00:18:25,935
Because for the first time
in three years,

444
00:18:26,004 --> 00:18:28,097
I feel like somebody
is more interesting
than I am.

445
00:18:28,173 --> 00:18:29,868
I mean, I've never
made a website

446
00:18:29,942 --> 00:18:31,204
for any president
or anything like that.

447
00:18:31,276 --> 00:18:34,268
I mean,
l... I totally could.
I'm smart enough.

448
00:18:34,546 --> 00:18:36,343
Look. I did say that.

449
00:18:36,415 --> 00:18:37,905
But that was
three years ago.

450
00:18:37,983 --> 00:18:40,975
I had never been in
a real relationship before.

451
00:18:41,053 --> 00:18:42,520
I didn't know what
I was talking about.

452
00:18:42,588 --> 00:18:46,649
Three years ago,
I wore cut-off jean shorts
with tights underneath.

453
00:18:48,160 --> 00:18:51,493
Man, never has such
an easy girl been so hard
to have sex with.

454
00:18:53,765 --> 00:18:55,699
Look, I'm not jealous
of Craig. All right?

455
00:18:55,767 --> 00:18:57,735
I mean, I wish him well.

456
00:18:58,103 --> 00:19:00,298
(LAUGHlNG) Him and his
imaginary girlfriend.

457
00:19:02,007 --> 00:19:05,909
Look, from now on,
I will share everything
with you. Okay?

458
00:19:05,978 --> 00:19:08,344
Even if I'm at work.
Everything.

459
00:19:08,881 --> 00:19:11,406
All right.
Well, that backfired.

460
00:19:17,890 --> 00:19:20,791
You know,
we kind of got through
our exercises.

461
00:19:20,859 --> 00:19:24,090
So, you want to
go celebrate
with some tub sex?

462
00:19:26,999 --> 00:19:28,660
That sounds cold.

463
00:19:30,302 --> 00:19:33,237
And like there would be
a lot of apologizing.

464
00:19:34,540 --> 00:19:36,667
Yeah, you're probably right.

465
00:19:37,075 --> 00:19:38,804
You know what would
be even hotter?

466
00:19:39,011 --> 00:19:40,478
I think I do.

467
00:19:40,712 --> 00:19:42,179
Are you thinking
what I'm thinking?

468
00:19:42,748 --> 00:19:46,013
Boring sex in
our boring bed?

469
00:19:48,554 --> 00:19:49,816
Do I get to keep
my shirt on?

470
00:19:49,888 --> 00:19:51,253
Ah.

471
00:19:51,623 --> 00:19:53,386
I'm going to go pee.

472
00:19:56,628 --> 00:19:57,993
(CELL PHONE RlNGlNG)

473
00:20:03,569 --> 00:20:05,935
So, we did all of
the exercises.

474
00:20:06,238 --> 00:20:08,536
And we are
all good now,
thanks to you.

475
00:20:08,607 --> 00:20:09,596
So, thank you.

476
00:20:09,841 --> 00:20:11,206
Good. Well,
what I'm hearing,

477
00:20:11,276 --> 00:20:13,506
as I dig through
the salad of words

478
00:20:13,579 --> 00:20:15,877
in search
of the crouton of truth,

479
00:20:15,948 --> 00:20:18,974
is that you would benefit
from a series of exercises

480
00:20:19,051 --> 00:20:21,952
from my bestselling book
Refresh Your Love.

481
00:20:22,020 --> 00:20:24,386
But, Doc, you already
assigned us the exercises.
We did them.

482
00:20:24,456 --> 00:20:27,186
We're, uh...
Our love is refreshed.

483
00:20:28,293 --> 00:20:30,488
Well, don't worry.
Because we can fix that.

484
00:20:31,530 --> 00:20:33,760
No, we don't
need fixing.

485
00:20:33,832 --> 00:20:36,733
So, moving on
to the second
series of exercises,

486
00:20:36,802 --> 00:20:39,236
outlined in my book
Refresh Your Love...

487
00:20:39,304 --> 00:20:41,704
No, look. No.
Whit, I think that you

488
00:20:41,773 --> 00:20:44,264
and the doctor are having
a communication breakdown.

489
00:20:44,876 --> 00:20:46,673
What?
You're right.

490
00:20:47,079 --> 00:20:48,376
And I know exactly how
to deal with this.

491
00:20:48,447 --> 00:20:51,109
Alex, time us.
60 second embrace.

492
00:20:51,383 --> 00:20:53,544
No talking.
Bring it in.

493
00:20:53,785 --> 00:20:57,016
Come on. Okay. Ah.