1
00:00:10,603 --> 00:00:12,637
(Klaxon blaring)
(screams)
2
00:00:13,139 --> 00:00:14,439
What the hell?
3
00:00:14,441 --> 00:00:16,140
Emergency preparedness drill.
4
00:00:16,142 --> 00:00:18,592
- Oh, no, come on!
- Yeah, you know how it works.
5
00:00:18,594 --> 00:00:21,229
Once a quarter,
keep our readiness up.
6
00:00:21,231 --> 00:00:23,481
Now, rise and shine,
sleepy head.
7
00:00:23,483 --> 00:00:26,067
Half the town is probably dead.
8
00:00:26,069 --> 00:00:30,087
I have to get
a lock for my door.
9
00:00:30,089 --> 00:00:32,123
I think you'll like
the drill tonight.
10
00:00:32,125 --> 00:00:33,658
I've tried to make it fun.
11
00:00:33,660 --> 00:00:34,992
Each of these cards
12
00:00:34,994 --> 00:00:38,629
contains a detailed scenario
of a possible apocalyptic event.
13
00:00:38,631 --> 00:00:40,748
Everything from wild fires
14
00:00:40,750 --> 00:00:44,168
to a surprise invasion
by Canada.
15
00:00:44,170 --> 00:00:46,721
Pick a catastrophe,
any catastrophe.
16
00:00:47,789 --> 00:00:52,793
Sheldon, Canada is not going
to invade California.
17
00:00:52,795 --> 00:00:54,362
Yeah, really?
You think those hippies
18
00:00:54,364 --> 00:00:56,998
in Washington and Oregon
can stop them?
19
00:00:58,133 --> 00:01:00,084
Fine.
20
00:01:00,936 --> 00:01:02,136
All righty!
21
00:01:02,138 --> 00:01:05,823
"An 8.2 magnitude earthquake
devastates Pasadena,
22
00:01:05,825 --> 00:01:07,775
"reducing mighty
edifices to dust,
23
00:01:07,777 --> 00:01:09,827
"engulfing the city in flames.
24
00:01:09,829 --> 00:01:11,478
"The streets flow with blood
25
00:01:11,480 --> 00:01:13,531
and echo with the cries
of the wounded."
26
00:01:13,533 --> 00:01:15,249
Oh, excellent choice.
27
00:01:15,251 --> 00:01:17,535
Now, put on your hardhat
and safety vest.
28
00:01:17,537 --> 00:01:18,836
Oh, fun.
29
00:01:18,838 --> 00:01:21,655
I get to spend another night
in front of our apartment
30
00:01:21,657 --> 00:01:24,592
dressed like one
of the Village People.
31
00:01:24,594 --> 00:01:26,427
You make that joke
every three months.
32
00:01:26,429 --> 00:01:27,628
I still don't get it.
33
00:01:27,630 --> 00:01:29,964
Leonard... wait.
34
00:01:29,966 --> 00:01:30,932
What are you doing?
35
00:01:30,934 --> 00:01:33,518
I don't know,
what am I doing?
36
00:01:33,520 --> 00:01:34,685
Look around you--
37
00:01:34,687 --> 00:01:38,055
there's hypothetical
broken glass everywhere.
38
00:01:38,057 --> 00:01:40,174
Really? You're going
to face Armageddon
39
00:01:40,176 --> 00:01:41,809
without your orthotics?
40
00:01:41,811 --> 00:01:44,512
Your choice.
41
00:01:44,514 --> 00:01:46,847
Uh-oh, hypothetical aftershock!
44
00:01:49,202 --> 00:01:51,485
And that's why we wear hardhats.
45
00:01:51,487 --> 00:01:55,122
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
46
00:01:55,124 --> 00:01:58,442
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
47
00:01:58,444 --> 00:02:00,044
♪ The Earth began to cool
48
00:02:00,046 --> 00:02:02,580
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
49
00:02:02,582 --> 00:02:05,249
♪ We built the Wall
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
50
00:02:05,251 --> 00:02:07,919
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
51
00:02:07,921 --> 00:02:09,820
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
52
00:02:09,822 --> 00:02:11,839
♪ Bang! ♪
53
00:02:11,864 --> 00:02:15,864
The Big Bang Theory 5x15
The Friendship Contraction
Original Air Date on February 2, 2012
54
00:02:15,865 --> 00:02:19,865
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
55
00:02:20,918 --> 00:02:22,952
Check it out--
press release
56
00:02:22,954 --> 00:02:24,254
from NASA.
57
00:02:24,256 --> 00:02:26,690
Um, "Expedition 31
will launch this spring
58
00:02:26,692 --> 00:02:28,558
"to the International
Space Station.
59
00:02:28,560 --> 00:02:32,095
"Crew members will include
Commander Tom 'Tombo' Johnson,
60
00:02:32,097 --> 00:02:34,731
"Astronaut
Mike 'Supernova' Novacelik
61
00:02:34,733 --> 00:02:37,332
and Payload Specialist
Howard Wolowitz."
62
00:02:37,357 --> 00:02:38,302
(giggles)
63
00:02:38,303 --> 00:02:42,572
This is going right into
my synagogue's newsletter.
64
00:02:43,574 --> 00:02:44,991
D-Dude, if you're
going to be an astronaut,
65
00:02:44,993 --> 00:02:47,243
you need to pick
a cool nickname.
66
00:02:47,245 --> 00:02:48,244
I don't get to pick it.
67
00:02:48,246 --> 00:02:49,829
The other guys
have to give it to me.
68
00:02:49,831 --> 00:02:53,850
Oh. If I had one,
it would be "Brown Dynamite."
69
00:02:54,803 --> 00:02:56,204
Are you not listening to me?
70
00:02:56,223 --> 00:02:59,056
The other astronauts
have to give you your nickname.
71
00:02:59,657 --> 00:03:00,957
Are you not looking at me?
72
00:03:00,959 --> 00:03:02,776
I am Brown Dynamite.
73
00:03:05,046 --> 00:03:07,997
Why do you put six
sugars in your coffee?
74
00:03:07,999 --> 00:03:09,832
Because the cafeteria
doesn't offer
75
00:03:09,834 --> 00:03:13,219
little packets
of methamphetamine.
76
00:03:13,221 --> 00:03:15,171
Emergency drill night
last night, huh?
77
00:03:15,173 --> 00:03:17,057
- Uh-huh.
- How'd you do?
78
00:03:17,059 --> 00:03:19,392
I'll tell you
exactly how he did.
79
00:03:19,394 --> 00:03:21,511
"Readiness:
unsatisfactory.
80
00:03:21,513 --> 00:03:23,813
"Follows direction: barely.
81
00:03:23,815 --> 00:03:26,316
"Attitude: a little too much.
82
00:03:26,318 --> 00:03:28,151
"Overall:
83
00:03:28,153 --> 00:03:31,488
"not only will he probably die
in a fiery inferno,
84
00:03:31,490 --> 00:03:34,040
"his incessant whining
would most certainly spoil
85
00:03:34,042 --> 00:03:36,209
everyone else's day."
86
00:03:37,294 --> 00:03:39,462
You know what, I'm so tired
I can't even think straight.
87
00:03:39,464 --> 00:03:40,696
I'm going home.
88
00:03:40,698 --> 00:03:44,167
Will one of you guys give
this nutbag a ride back later?
89
00:03:44,169 --> 00:03:45,218
You can't go home.
90
00:03:45,220 --> 00:03:47,703
You have to take me
to the dentist at 4:00.
91
00:03:47,705 --> 00:03:50,173
Oh... can't you take
the bus to the dentist?
92
00:03:50,175 --> 00:03:51,874
Of course I can.
It's coming back,
93
00:03:51,876 --> 00:03:53,709
under the residual effects
of the anesthesia,
94
00:03:53,711 --> 00:03:54,928
that's the problem.
95
00:03:54,930 --> 00:03:56,379
Two years ago,
96
00:03:56,381 --> 00:03:59,065
after a deep gum cleaning,
I thought I got on a bus
97
00:03:59,067 --> 00:04:02,068
but somehow wound up
on a booze cruise to Mexico.
98
00:04:03,771 --> 00:04:06,389
They put you under
for a cleaning?
99
00:04:06,391 --> 00:04:08,908
Yeah, they have to--
I'm a biter.
100
00:04:08,910 --> 00:04:10,944
Whatever, Sheldon.
I'm exhausted.
101
00:04:10,946 --> 00:04:12,996
I'm not taking you
to the dentist.
102
00:04:12,998 --> 00:04:14,280
Wrong, sir.
103
00:04:14,282 --> 00:04:17,834
Wrong. Under section 37-B
of the Roommate Agreement--
104
00:04:17,836 --> 00:04:19,836
"Miscellaneous Duties"--
you are obligated
105
00:04:19,838 --> 00:04:21,404
to take me to the dentist.
106
00:04:21,406 --> 00:04:24,574
See? It's right here after
"providing a confirmation sniff
107
00:04:24,576 --> 00:04:27,293
on questionable dairy products."
108
00:04:27,295 --> 00:04:31,214
You know what, I am sick
of the Roommate Agreement.
109
00:04:31,216 --> 00:04:33,383
(gasps)
110
00:04:33,385 --> 00:04:34,634
It's ridiculous.
111
00:04:34,636 --> 00:04:36,636
I'm your roommate,
not your chauffeur.
112
00:04:36,638 --> 00:04:38,805
You know, I had
better things to do yesterday
113
00:04:38,807 --> 00:04:41,691
than drive you all the way
to the "good" model train store
114
00:04:41,693 --> 00:04:43,693
in Garden Grove
because the one in Pasadena
115
00:04:43,695 --> 00:04:46,696
has gotten
"too big for its britches."
116
00:04:46,698 --> 00:04:48,598
Well, it has.
117
00:04:48,600 --> 00:04:50,266
Ask anybody.
118
00:04:50,268 --> 00:04:51,484
I don't care.
119
00:04:51,486 --> 00:04:52,485
I'm done.
120
00:04:52,487 --> 00:04:53,820
Hold on.
121
00:04:53,822 --> 00:04:57,157
Are you saying that you
want to invoke Clause 209?
122
00:04:57,159 --> 00:04:58,541
I don't know what that is,
123
00:04:58,543 --> 00:05:01,127
but if it means I can go home
and sleep, then yes.
124
00:05:01,129 --> 00:05:02,128
Think carefully here.
125
00:05:02,130 --> 00:05:04,214
Clause 209 suspends
our friendship,
126
00:05:04,216 --> 00:05:05,774
and strips down the
Roommate Agreement to
127
00:05:05,799 --> 00:05:07,099
its bare essentials.
128
00:05:07,169 --> 00:05:08,512
Our responsibilities
toward each other would
129
00:05:08,537 --> 00:05:10,517
only be rent, utilities
130
00:05:10,722 --> 00:05:13,056
and a perfunctory
chin jut of recognition
131
00:05:13,058 --> 00:05:14,340
as we pass in the hall.
132
00:05:14,342 --> 00:05:15,959
'Sup?
133
00:05:19,129 --> 00:05:21,648
Where do I sign?
134
00:05:21,650 --> 00:05:23,683
Right here.
135
00:05:23,685 --> 00:05:25,418
Use your finger.
136
00:05:26,187 --> 00:05:28,471
- There. Done.
- All right.
137
00:05:28,473 --> 00:05:31,024
That's it. We are
now no longer companions,
138
00:05:31,026 --> 00:05:32,659
boon or otherwise.
139
00:05:32,661 --> 00:05:34,477
We are not merely
acquaintances.
140
00:05:34,479 --> 00:05:36,613
To amend the words
of Toy Story--
141
00:05:36,615 --> 00:05:40,583
"You have not got
a friend in me."
142
00:05:40,585 --> 00:05:41,868
I'm gonna go home
and take a nap.
143
00:05:41,870 --> 00:05:44,921
Yeah, well, tell it
to someone who cares.
144
00:05:46,090 --> 00:05:48,508
I got pretty exciting
NASA news today.
145
00:05:48,510 --> 00:05:51,160
Next week I fly to Houston
for orientation
146
00:05:51,162 --> 00:05:54,464
and zero-gravity
elimination drills.
147
00:05:54,466 --> 00:05:55,515
What does that mean?
148
00:05:55,517 --> 00:05:58,334
He's gonna learn
to poop in space.
149
00:05:59,970 --> 00:06:03,005
Open the pod bay
doors, HAL.
150
00:06:04,058 --> 00:06:07,694
Maybe your nickname
should be "Brown Dynamite."
151
00:06:10,281 --> 00:06:12,282
Hello, dear friends.
152
00:06:12,284 --> 00:06:14,534
And Dr. Hofstadter.
153
00:06:15,402 --> 00:06:17,570
'Sup?
154
00:06:17,572 --> 00:06:19,789
'Sup?
155
00:06:19,791 --> 00:06:21,407
My apologies.
156
00:06:21,409 --> 00:06:22,709
I would've been here sooner,
157
00:06:22,711 --> 00:06:26,028
but the bus kept stopping
for other people to get on it.
158
00:06:26,030 --> 00:06:28,414
I saved you a dumpling.
159
00:06:28,416 --> 00:06:30,550
Oh, your concern
for me is touching.
160
00:06:30,552 --> 00:06:31,885
It will serve you well
161
00:06:31,887 --> 00:06:34,370
when you take me to
the dentist tomorrow.
162
00:06:34,372 --> 00:06:35,871
I'm sorry, Sheldon, I'm busy.
163
00:06:35,873 --> 00:06:38,091
I'm right in the middle
of my addiction study.
164
00:06:38,093 --> 00:06:40,193
I've got a lab
full of alcoholic monkeys,
165
00:06:40,195 --> 00:06:43,162
and tomorrow's the day
we switch them to O'Doul's.
166
00:06:43,164 --> 00:06:44,614
You're my girlfriend
167
00:06:44,616 --> 00:06:47,283
and you're not going to cater
to my every need?
168
00:06:47,285 --> 00:06:49,986
Oh, where'd the magic go?
169
00:06:51,055 --> 00:06:53,022
Sheldon, that's not
what girlfriends are for.
170
00:06:53,024 --> 00:06:55,391
Although, you don't use them
for what they're for,
171
00:06:55,393 --> 00:06:57,160
so what do I know?
172
00:07:03,033 --> 00:07:05,118
Howard doesn't make
me do his shopping
173
00:07:05,120 --> 00:07:06,753
or take him to the dentist
174
00:07:06,755 --> 00:07:08,671
or pick up his
dry cleaning, right?
175
00:07:08,673 --> 00:07:10,072
Absolutely.
176
00:07:10,074 --> 00:07:12,842
But when Ma's hips
give out, you're up, kid.
177
00:07:14,044 --> 00:07:16,930
Well, if Amy's too busy,
that gives the rest of you
178
00:07:16,932 --> 00:07:19,081
an opportunity to
make my life easier,
179
00:07:19,083 --> 00:07:20,216
thus assuring yourselves
180
00:07:20,218 --> 00:07:21,968
a footnote in my memoirs,
181
00:07:21,970 --> 00:07:25,221
tentatively entitled
You're Welcome, Mankind.
182
00:07:25,223 --> 00:07:26,556
All right, then,
183
00:07:26,558 --> 00:07:29,392
just shout when you hear
the task you want to undertake.
184
00:07:29,394 --> 00:07:30,944
Uh, dentist.
185
00:07:34,898 --> 00:07:37,283
Okay, w-we can
circle back to that one.
186
00:07:37,285 --> 00:07:39,786
Um, well, who wants
to take me Wednesday morning
187
00:07:39,788 --> 00:07:42,622
to get new heels
put on my dress shoes?
188
00:07:45,993 --> 00:07:47,109
Anyone?
189
00:07:47,111 --> 00:07:49,779
Oh. That one had hoot
written all over it.
190
00:07:49,781 --> 00:07:52,465
Um, all right,
uh, dermatologist.
191
00:07:55,285 --> 00:07:57,453
Allergist.
192
00:07:58,138 --> 00:08:01,074
Podiatrist.
193
00:08:01,076 --> 00:08:02,976
Supercuts?
194
00:08:02,978 --> 00:08:05,561
Okay, okay, here's a fun one.
195
00:08:05,563 --> 00:08:07,797
Um, I need a new picture frame
196
00:08:07,799 --> 00:08:10,483
and I have a hankering
for Swedish meatballs.
197
00:08:10,485 --> 00:08:13,653
Who wants to spend the day
with me at IKEA?
198
00:08:15,155 --> 00:08:16,689
Their meatballs
are pretty good.
199
00:08:16,691 --> 00:08:17,323
What's that?
200
00:08:17,325 --> 00:08:18,574
Nothing, nothing.
201
00:08:20,944 --> 00:08:22,662
Hello, Stuart.
202
00:08:22,664 --> 00:08:24,313
Oh, hey, Sheldon.
203
00:08:24,315 --> 00:08:25,948
Can I help you find
something today?
204
00:08:25,950 --> 00:08:27,450
No, no.
205
00:08:27,452 --> 00:08:28,651
I was just sitting at home
206
00:08:28,653 --> 00:08:30,787
thinking about how it
might be nice to catch up
207
00:08:30,789 --> 00:08:32,288
with my ninth favorite person.
208
00:08:32,290 --> 00:08:34,290
Ninth?
209
00:08:34,292 --> 00:08:36,292
You moved up one.
210
00:08:36,294 --> 00:08:39,829
My pen pal in Somalia
was kidnapped by pirates.
211
00:08:41,598 --> 00:08:43,349
So, uh... how are you?
212
00:08:43,351 --> 00:08:45,134
Uh... not so good.
213
00:08:45,136 --> 00:08:48,221
My shrink just
killed himself and...
214
00:08:48,223 --> 00:08:50,623
blamed me in the note.
215
00:08:52,976 --> 00:08:55,177
Great. Great.
216
00:08:56,447 --> 00:08:58,481
So, what's new
with your family?
217
00:08:58,483 --> 00:09:00,700
How's your mother?
Is she alive?
218
00:09:00,702 --> 00:09:02,201
Yeah.
219
00:09:02,203 --> 00:09:04,771
And your father? Alive?
220
00:09:04,773 --> 00:09:05,872
Yes.
221
00:09:05,874 --> 00:09:07,657
How about your grandparents,
they alive?
222
00:09:07,659 --> 00:09:09,876
No.
223
00:09:09,878 --> 00:09:11,444
Oh, I'm so sorry for your loss.
224
00:09:12,529 --> 00:09:13,746
On a cheerier note,
225
00:09:13,748 --> 00:09:17,050
I have a teeth-cleaning
appointment this afternoon.
226
00:09:17,052 --> 00:09:21,036
What do you say you
take me over there, buddy boy?
227
00:09:21,038 --> 00:09:23,840
I'm sorry, you want me
to take you to the dentist?
228
00:09:23,842 --> 00:09:25,925
Yes. Now, I can't
make any promises,
229
00:09:25,927 --> 00:09:27,343
but that's the sort of thing
230
00:09:27,345 --> 00:09:29,412
that gets a fella
on the short list
231
00:09:29,414 --> 00:09:32,148
for the number eight
friend slot.
232
00:09:32,150 --> 00:09:33,449
Sheldon, I'm working.
233
00:09:33,451 --> 00:09:35,384
I can't take you
to the dentist.
234
00:09:35,386 --> 00:09:38,154
Also-- and I can't
stress this enough--
235
00:09:38,156 --> 00:09:41,257
I don't want to take you
to the dentist.
236
00:09:41,259 --> 00:09:44,243
Can't help a friend out
in a time of need, huh?
237
00:09:44,245 --> 00:09:46,646
I see where your
therapist was coming from.
238
00:09:55,945 --> 00:09:59,614
Ooh, ooh! What about we
make your astronaut nickname
239
00:09:59,616 --> 00:10:02,984
Howard "Buzz" Wolowitz?
240
00:10:02,986 --> 00:10:04,986
You can't do "Buzz."
241
00:10:04,988 --> 00:10:06,555
"Buzz" is taken.
242
00:10:06,557 --> 00:10:09,307
Buzz Lightyear is not real.
243
00:10:11,360 --> 00:10:14,846
No, that's not what
I'm talking about.
244
00:10:14,848 --> 00:10:17,983
Well, are you talking about
when he thought he was real?
245
00:10:20,786 --> 00:10:23,054
No.
246
00:10:23,056 --> 00:10:25,290
Okay, um...
how about "Crash"?
247
00:10:25,292 --> 00:10:27,458
Howard "Crash" Wolowitz.
248
00:10:28,561 --> 00:10:30,128
Yeah, terrific.
The other astronauts
249
00:10:30,130 --> 00:10:32,130
would love to go hurtling
through space
250
00:10:32,132 --> 00:10:33,632
with a guy named "Crash."
251
00:10:33,634 --> 00:10:36,484
All right, um, how about...
252
00:10:36,486 --> 00:10:39,137
Oh, how about "Rocket Man"?
253
00:10:40,606 --> 00:10:43,024
That's not bad,
Howard "Rocket Man" Wolowitz.
254
00:10:43,026 --> 00:10:44,776
Yeah, it's great,
but I told you,
255
00:10:44,778 --> 00:10:46,244
I don't get to pick
my nickname.
256
00:10:46,246 --> 00:10:48,113
It has to come from
the other astronauts.
257
00:10:48,115 --> 00:10:50,532
Maybe there's a way to get
them to come up with it.
258
00:10:50,534 --> 00:10:52,500
Like how?
259
00:10:52,502 --> 00:10:54,502
Once I tried carrying
around a Duncan yo-yo,
260
00:10:54,504 --> 00:10:57,655
hoping the other kids would
start calling me Duncan.
261
00:10:57,657 --> 00:10:59,457
Did it work?
262
00:10:59,459 --> 00:11:02,611
No, they ended up
calling me Sock Mouth.
263
00:11:03,546 --> 00:11:04,996
Because they took away my yo-yo
264
00:11:04,998 --> 00:11:06,998
and stuffed their socks
in my mouth.
265
00:11:09,268 --> 00:11:13,021
Okay, uh, what if we make
"Rocket Man" your ringtone,
266
00:11:13,023 --> 00:11:15,557
and the next time you
talk to those guys,
267
00:11:15,559 --> 00:11:17,175
I'll call you and
they'll hear it.
268
00:11:17,177 --> 00:11:18,810
Plant the seed.
269
00:11:18,812 --> 00:11:20,679
That's actually not
a terrible plan.
270
00:11:20,681 --> 00:11:24,182
They don't call me
"Brown Dynamite" for nothing.
271
00:11:26,369 --> 00:11:27,319
'Sup?
272
00:11:27,321 --> 00:11:28,787
'Sup?
273
00:11:29,989 --> 00:11:31,823
Hey, did you ever make it
to the dentist?
274
00:11:31,825 --> 00:11:33,124
Not necessary. No.
275
00:11:33,126 --> 00:11:35,660
I found a service that'll
send a van to your house
276
00:11:35,662 --> 00:11:37,045
for a teeth cleaning.
277
00:11:37,047 --> 00:11:39,214
Mostly they cater
to dogs, but...
278
00:11:41,133 --> 00:11:43,551
...the fellow on the phone
seemed to have an open mind.
279
00:11:43,553 --> 00:11:45,420
All right, Sheldon,
280
00:11:45,422 --> 00:11:47,472
if you need me to take you
to the dentist,
281
00:11:47,474 --> 00:11:48,840
I will take you to the dentist.
282
00:11:48,842 --> 00:11:51,393
Are you suggesting that
you've come to your senses
283
00:11:51,395 --> 00:11:54,229
and wish to reestablish
the mutual benefits that stem
284
00:11:54,231 --> 00:11:56,231
from full participation
in the Roommate Agreement?
285
00:11:56,233 --> 00:11:57,382
Absolutely.
286
00:11:57,384 --> 00:11:59,234
If you admit that
you're a 30-year-old man
287
00:11:59,236 --> 00:12:01,236
who's incapable
of functioning on his own.
288
00:12:01,238 --> 00:12:06,074
Ooh, Sock Mouth's
got him on the ropes.
289
00:12:06,076 --> 00:12:07,742
I will admit nothing
of the sort.
290
00:12:07,744 --> 00:12:08,943
And now if you'll excuse me,
291
00:12:08,945 --> 00:12:10,662
I have
to call my dentist and see
292
00:12:10,664 --> 00:12:13,348
if I can also get my hair
shampooed and my nails clipped.
293
00:12:15,751 --> 00:12:18,036
(dramatic music plays on TV)
294
00:12:18,038 --> 00:12:20,238
(music stops)
295
00:12:23,008 --> 00:12:24,359
(knocking on door)
296
00:12:25,294 --> 00:12:27,412
Oh, good, your power's out, too.
297
00:12:27,414 --> 00:12:28,546
Why is that good?
298
00:12:28,548 --> 00:12:30,215
(sighs)
Because last month,
299
00:12:30,217 --> 00:12:32,083
I sent the electric company
a Starbucks gift card,
300
00:12:32,085 --> 00:12:36,104
an apology note, and a few
snapshots of me in a bra.
301
00:12:36,906 --> 00:12:38,390
(Klaxon sounds)
Power failure.
302
00:12:38,392 --> 00:12:40,591
Implementing
power-failure protocol.
303
00:12:40,593 --> 00:12:43,611
What happened to all your glow-
in-the-dark-emergency-exit stuff
304
00:12:43,613 --> 00:12:45,563
you had painted on the floor?
305
00:12:45,565 --> 00:12:47,899
Oh, that was
wildly carcinogenic.
306
00:12:47,901 --> 00:12:49,434
Anyway...
307
00:12:49,436 --> 00:12:51,236
it's too bad you're
no longer entitled
308
00:12:51,238 --> 00:12:52,987
to the full benefits
of my friendship,
309
00:12:52,989 --> 00:12:56,007
because I happen to be
extremely prepared
310
00:12:56,009 --> 00:12:57,158
for such an emergency.
311
00:12:57,160 --> 00:12:59,744
Please try not to see
anything by this light.
312
00:12:59,746 --> 00:13:01,463
It's not for you.
313
00:13:02,948 --> 00:13:05,667
It's just a blackout; I'm sure
the power will be back on soon.
314
00:13:05,669 --> 00:13:07,502
And I'm sure some fool
in the Donner party
315
00:13:07,504 --> 00:13:09,304
said the snow would
stop any day now.
316
00:13:11,123 --> 00:13:13,708
I like to think
they ate him first.
317
00:13:14,677 --> 00:13:16,511
You know, I got some candles
in my apartment.
318
00:13:16,513 --> 00:13:18,396
But candles?!
During a blackout?!
319
00:13:18,398 --> 00:13:20,131
Are you mad?
That's a fire hazard.
320
00:13:20,133 --> 00:13:21,049
No, Pasadena
321
00:13:21,051 --> 00:13:22,434
Water and Power recommends
322
00:13:22,436 --> 00:13:24,686
the far safer glow stick.
323
00:13:24,688 --> 00:13:26,905
You call that
a glow stick?
324
00:13:32,912 --> 00:13:35,413
That is a glow stick.
325
00:13:35,415 --> 00:13:37,148
Come on, let's go.
326
00:13:37,150 --> 00:13:39,117
Before you go,
consider this.
327
00:13:39,119 --> 00:13:42,587
Not only do I have a deep-cycle
marine battery power source
328
00:13:42,589 --> 00:13:43,755
which is more than capable
329
00:13:43,757 --> 00:13:45,173
of running our
entertainment system,
330
00:13:45,175 --> 00:13:46,574
I also have
331
00:13:46,576 --> 00:13:50,261
all 61 episodes
of the BBC series Red Dwarf...
332
00:13:50,263 --> 00:13:53,598
and Fiddle-Faddle.
333
00:13:53,600 --> 00:13:55,216
All yours
334
00:13:55,218 --> 00:13:57,969
if you're willing to reinstate
the Roommate Agreement.
335
00:13:57,971 --> 00:14:01,990
I've got wine at my place and
some bubble wrap we could pop.
336
00:14:06,529 --> 00:14:07,729
Oh, he'll be back.
337
00:14:07,731 --> 00:14:09,447
Wine and a girl in the dark--
338
00:14:09,449 --> 00:14:11,866
he's gonna be bored
out of his mind.
339
00:14:13,068 --> 00:14:15,403
To wine and bubble wrap.
340
00:14:15,405 --> 00:14:16,971
(popping)
341
00:14:16,973 --> 00:14:19,958
And to not having to watch
Sheldon demonstrate
342
00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:21,709
his reverse osmosis machine
343
00:14:21,711 --> 00:14:24,212
that converts urine
into drinking water.
344
00:14:26,215 --> 00:14:28,249
You know, in Girl Scouts,
Tammie Dineesha said
345
00:14:28,251 --> 00:14:30,502
you could do that
with panty hose.
346
00:14:30,504 --> 00:14:33,388
Boy, was she wrong.
347
00:14:33,390 --> 00:14:36,508
Anyway, you want
to make out?
348
00:14:36,510 --> 00:14:39,477
I thought because our
relationship's in a beta test,
349
00:14:39,479 --> 00:14:41,813
you wanted to
take things slow.
350
00:14:41,815 --> 00:14:43,114
Okay.
351
00:14:43,116 --> 00:14:45,917
Do you want to make out slow?
352
00:14:45,919 --> 00:14:50,822
I can go so slow it'll be like
there's a snail in your mouth.
353
00:14:52,391 --> 00:14:54,843
Ugh.
354
00:14:56,612 --> 00:14:59,397
Well, lucky for you, there's
nothing else to do right now.
355
00:15:01,650 --> 00:15:03,117
Excuse me, Leonard.
356
00:15:03,119 --> 00:15:04,402
Since when don't you knock?
357
00:15:04,404 --> 00:15:06,621
It's like the only
good thing about you.
358
00:15:06,623 --> 00:15:09,374
Social niceties
have been suspended, Leonard.
359
00:15:09,376 --> 00:15:11,009
We're in a state of a emergency.
360
00:15:11,011 --> 00:15:12,410
The world has
361
00:15:12,412 --> 00:15:14,178
descended into darkened turmoil.
362
00:15:14,180 --> 00:15:17,765
Lawlessness and savagery
are the order of the day.
363
00:15:17,767 --> 00:15:19,450
Fine, what is it?
364
00:15:19,452 --> 00:15:20,869
I'm making s'mores.
365
00:15:22,054 --> 00:15:23,354
I wanted to alert you
366
00:15:23,356 --> 00:15:24,755
in case you smelled
caramelizing marshmallows
367
00:15:24,757 --> 00:15:27,692
and thought a nearby
candy factory was on fire.
368
00:15:27,694 --> 00:15:29,911
S'mores, huh?
Good for you.
369
00:15:29,913 --> 00:15:32,897
Yes, or good for us
370
00:15:32,899 --> 00:15:34,115
if you sign here
371
00:15:34,117 --> 00:15:36,067
and reinstate
the full Roommate Agreement.
372
00:15:36,069 --> 00:15:37,285
No, thanks. I'm good.
373
00:15:37,287 --> 00:15:38,769
Really?
374
00:15:38,771 --> 00:15:40,405
Huh! Okay.
375
00:15:40,407 --> 00:15:43,324
In that case, I will have
a s'more by myself.
376
00:15:43,326 --> 00:15:46,411
And then I'm gonna have s'more.
377
00:15:49,999 --> 00:15:51,949
By myself.
378
00:15:51,951 --> 00:15:54,135
- Aw.
- No, don't "aw" him.
379
00:15:54,137 --> 00:15:55,670
He brought this all
on himself.
380
00:15:55,672 --> 00:15:57,338
But he's sad.
381
00:15:57,340 --> 00:15:58,256
No, he's crazy.
382
00:15:58,258 --> 00:15:59,790
Sometimes crazy
looks like sad
383
00:15:59,792 --> 00:16:02,176
so it'll suck you back in.
384
00:16:02,178 --> 00:16:05,980
I think he misses
his little buddy.
385
00:16:07,483 --> 00:16:09,601
Fine.
386
00:16:09,603 --> 00:16:11,102
But mark my words,
387
00:16:11,104 --> 00:16:14,772
this frustrating, bogus teenage
make-out session is not over.
388
00:16:14,774 --> 00:16:17,575
(popping)
389
00:16:24,116 --> 00:16:26,651
I thought you said
candles were dangerous.
390
00:16:26,653 --> 00:16:28,770
This is a Bunsen burner.
391
00:16:30,272 --> 00:16:33,458
I'm a scientist;
I know what I'm doing.
392
00:16:33,460 --> 00:16:35,660
Oh, drat.
393
00:16:39,965 --> 00:16:41,332
Aww.
394
00:16:41,334 --> 00:16:45,336
It took me a gallon of urine
to make that water.
395
00:16:48,390 --> 00:16:50,358
Listen, Sheldon, this is stupid.
396
00:16:50,360 --> 00:16:52,026
I don't see why we can't
be friends.
397
00:16:52,028 --> 00:16:53,678
And I'm willing to
drive you around
398
00:16:53,680 --> 00:16:55,012
and help you out with stuff.
399
00:16:55,014 --> 00:16:56,180
I just don't want to do it
400
00:16:56,182 --> 00:16:57,682
because of some
silly Roommate Agreement.
401
00:16:57,684 --> 00:16:59,317
What are you proposing?
402
00:16:59,319 --> 00:17:01,486
That we go back to
the way things were.
403
00:17:01,488 --> 00:17:03,404
But when I do
something for you,
404
00:17:03,406 --> 00:17:05,206
you show a little
appreciation.
405
00:17:05,208 --> 00:17:07,692
And how would I do that?
406
00:17:07,694 --> 00:17:10,378
You say "thank you."
407
00:17:10,380 --> 00:17:13,197
Every time?
408
00:17:13,199 --> 00:17:16,000
It's not crazy.
409
00:17:16,002 --> 00:17:18,386
Counter-proposal.
410
00:17:18,388 --> 00:17:20,538
We reinstate the full
Roommate Agreement
411
00:17:20,540 --> 00:17:22,206
with the following addendum:
412
00:17:22,208 --> 00:17:25,893
in the spirit of Mother's Day
or Father's Day,
413
00:17:25,895 --> 00:17:29,180
once a year, we set aside
a day to celebrate
414
00:17:29,182 --> 00:17:31,382
all your contributions
to my life,
415
00:17:31,384 --> 00:17:34,986
both actual and imagined by you.
416
00:17:36,155 --> 00:17:38,072
We could call it Leonard's Day.
417
00:17:38,074 --> 00:17:41,909
I kind of like
the sound of that.
418
00:17:41,911 --> 00:17:43,060
Of course you do.
419
00:17:43,062 --> 00:17:44,328
It's about you,
like everything else.
420
00:17:44,330 --> 00:17:47,081
Oh, thank goodness.
421
00:17:47,083 --> 00:17:50,568
I don't think I had it in me
to make another glass of water.
422
00:17:50,570 --> 00:17:53,571
So, do I get breakfast
in bed on Leonard's Day?
423
00:17:53,573 --> 00:17:54,622
No.
424
00:17:54,624 --> 00:17:55,707
Can I sit in your spot?
425
00:17:55,709 --> 00:17:56,708
No.
426
00:17:56,710 --> 00:17:58,576
Can I control the thermostat?
427
00:17:58,578 --> 00:17:59,260
No.
428
00:17:59,262 --> 00:18:00,762
Do I get a card?
429
00:18:00,764 --> 00:18:02,580
Of course you get a card.
430
00:18:03,716 --> 00:18:05,416
It's Leonard's Day.
431
00:18:06,185 --> 00:18:07,802
Hey, guys, the building
manager said
432
00:18:07,804 --> 00:18:09,353
the reason
the power went out is
433
00:18:09,355 --> 00:18:10,605
someone went
down into the basement
434
00:18:10,607 --> 00:18:12,540
and just pulled the
main breaker switch.
435
00:18:15,277 --> 00:18:17,361
Really.
436
00:18:19,097 --> 00:18:20,431
Who do you think
did that, Sheldon?
437
00:18:20,433 --> 00:18:25,203
Oh, I don't know.
438
00:18:26,321 --> 00:18:28,956
But whoever
that mystery man was,
439
00:18:28,958 --> 00:18:30,658
you should be
eternally grateful,
440
00:18:30,660 --> 00:18:34,278
for without him, there would
be no Leonard's Day.
441
00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:36,264
Leonard's Day?
442
00:18:36,266 --> 00:18:37,331
Oh, no pressure.
443
00:18:37,333 --> 00:18:39,116
Just get him a crummy card,
you're good.
444
00:18:47,357 --> 00:18:49,758
All right, test my ring tone.
445
00:18:49,760 --> 00:18:54,713
(Elton John's
"Rocket Man" plays)
446
00:18:54,715 --> 00:18:57,316
- That really is a good song.
- Oh, yeah.
447
00:18:57,318 --> 00:18:59,101
There's a reason
he's Sir Elton John.
448
00:18:59,103 --> 00:19:00,269
They don't make you a knight
449
00:19:00,271 --> 00:19:02,638
for writing "Wake Me Up
Before You Go Go."
450
00:19:04,274 --> 00:19:06,742
MRS. WOLOWITZ: Howard, are you
coming down for breakfast?!
451
00:19:06,744 --> 00:19:08,327
Ma, I told you I have
452
00:19:08,329 --> 00:19:09,862
a video conference with NASA!
453
00:19:09,864 --> 00:19:11,163
I said don't bother me!
454
00:19:11,165 --> 00:19:13,866
MRS. WOLOWITZ: Oh! Listen to
Mr. Big Shot Astronaut!
455
00:19:13,868 --> 00:19:18,236
Yes, please listen
to Mr. Big Shot Astronaut!
456
00:19:18,238 --> 00:19:20,422
(Skype rings)
457
00:19:21,925 --> 00:19:24,409
Hey, good morning.
458
00:19:24,411 --> 00:19:26,895
Hey, Howard,
thanks for getting up so early.
459
00:19:26,897 --> 00:19:29,681
No problem, Dr. Massimino.
460
00:19:29,683 --> 00:19:31,500
The guys here call me Mass.
461
00:19:31,502 --> 00:19:33,385
Mass!
That's a cool nickname.
462
00:19:33,387 --> 00:19:36,188
'Cause force equals mass
times acceleration.
463
00:19:36,190 --> 00:19:37,423
Yeah.
464
00:19:37,425 --> 00:19:40,192
It's just short
for Massimino.
465
00:19:41,978 --> 00:19:45,030
Anyway, the plan for this
morning is to go over the...
466
00:19:45,032 --> 00:19:46,448
(Elton John's
"Rocket Man" playing)
467
00:19:46,450 --> 00:19:47,566
Sorry. My phone.
468
00:19:47,568 --> 00:19:50,536
What is that?
Is that "Rocket Man"?
469
00:19:50,538 --> 00:19:52,037
Yeah, my ring tone.
470
00:19:52,039 --> 00:19:54,540
Kind of my favorite song,
"Rocket Man."
471
00:19:54,542 --> 00:19:56,041
MRS. WOLOWITZ:
Howard,
472
00:19:56,043 --> 00:19:59,895
your Fruit Loops
are getting soggy!
473
00:20:00,997 --> 00:20:02,464
Not now!
474
00:20:02,466 --> 00:20:03,749
Who's that?
475
00:20:03,751 --> 00:20:05,834
My mom. Sorry.
476
00:20:05,836 --> 00:20:09,071
No problem... Fruit Loops.
477
00:20:09,073 --> 00:20:13,073
== sync, corrected by elderman ==