1
00:00:11,303 --> 00:00:13,337
(Klaxon blaring)
(screams)
2
00:00:13,839 --> 00:00:15,139
What the hell?
3
00:00:15,141 --> 00:00:16,840
Emergency preparedness drill.
4
00:00:16,842 --> 00:00:19,292
- Oh, no, come on!
- Yeah, you know how it works.
5
00:00:19,294 --> 00:00:21,929
Once a quarter,
keep our readiness up.
6
00:00:21,931 --> 00:00:24,181
Now, rise and shine,
sleepy head.
7
00:00:24,183 --> 00:00:26,767
Half the town is probably dead.
8
00:00:26,769 --> 00:00:30,787
I have to get
a lock for my door.
9
00:00:30,789 --> 00:00:32,823
I think you'll like
the drill tonight.
10
00:00:32,825 --> 00:00:34,358
I've tried to make it fun.
11
00:00:34,360 --> 00:00:35,692
Each of these cards
12
00:00:35,694 --> 00:00:39,329
contains a detailed scenario
of a possible apocalyptic event.
13
00:00:39,331 --> 00:00:41,448
Everything from wild fires
14
00:00:41,450 --> 00:00:44,868
to a surprise invasion
by Canada.
15
00:00:44,870 --> 00:00:47,421
Pick a catastrophe,
any catastrophe.
16
00:00:48,489 --> 00:00:53,493
Sheldon, Canada is not going
to invade California.
17
00:00:53,495 --> 00:00:55,062
Yeah, really?
You think those hippies
18
00:00:55,064 --> 00:00:57,698
in Washington and Oregon
can stop them?
19
00:00:58,833 --> 00:01:00,784
Fine.
20
00:01:01,636 --> 00:01:02,836
All righty!
21
00:01:02,838 --> 00:01:06,523
"An 8.2 magnitude earthquake
devastates Pasadena,
22
00:01:06,525 --> 00:01:08,475
"reducing mighty
edifices to dust,
23
00:01:08,477 --> 00:01:10,527
"engulfing the city in flames.
24
00:01:10,529 --> 00:01:12,178
"The streets flow with blood
25
00:01:12,180 --> 00:01:14,231
and echo with the cries
of the wounded."
26
00:01:14,233 --> 00:01:15,949
Oh, excellent choice.
27
00:01:15,951 --> 00:01:18,235
Now, put on your hardhat
and safety vest.
28
00:01:18,237 --> 00:01:19,536
Oh, fun.
29
00:01:19,538 --> 00:01:22,355
I get to spend another night
in front of our apartment
30
00:01:22,357 --> 00:01:25,292
dressed like one
of the Village People.
31
00:01:25,294 --> 00:01:27,127
You make that joke
every three months.
32
00:01:27,129 --> 00:01:28,328
I still don't get it.
33
00:01:28,330 --> 00:01:30,664
Leonard... wait.
34
00:01:30,666 --> 00:01:31,632
What are you doing?
35
00:01:31,634 --> 00:01:34,218
I don't know,
what am I doing?
36
00:01:34,220 --> 00:01:35,385
Look around you--
37
00:01:35,387 --> 00:01:38,755
there's hypothetical
broken glass everywhere.
38
00:01:38,757 --> 00:01:40,874
Really? You're going
to face Armageddon
39
00:01:40,876 --> 00:01:42,509
without your orthotics?
40
00:01:42,511 --> 00:01:45,212
Your choice.
41
00:01:45,214 --> 00:01:47,547
Uh-oh, hypothetical aftershock!
44
00:01:49,902 --> 00:01:52,185
And that's why we wear hardhats.
45
00:01:52,187 --> 00:01:55,822
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
46
00:01:55,824 --> 00:01:59,142
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
47
00:01:59,144 --> 00:02:00,744
♪ The Earth began to cool
48
00:02:00,746 --> 00:02:03,280
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
49
00:02:03,282 --> 00:02:05,949
♪ We built the Wall
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
50
00:02:05,951 --> 00:02:08,619
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
51
00:02:08,621 --> 00:02:10,520
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
52
00:02:10,522 --> 00:02:12,539
♪ Bang! ♪
53
00:02:12,564 --> 00:02:13,549
The Big Bang Theory 5x15
The Friendship Contraction
Original Air Date on February 2, 2012
54
00:02:13,580 --> 00:02:16,592
== sync by Sp8ky, corrected by elderman ==
55
00:02:18,099 --> 00:02:20,133
Check it out--
press release
56
00:02:20,135 --> 00:02:21,435
from NASA.
57
00:02:21,437 --> 00:02:23,871
Um, "Expedition 31
will launch this spring
58
00:02:23,873 --> 00:02:25,739
"to the International
Space Station.
59
00:02:25,741 --> 00:02:29,276
"Crew members will include
Commander Tom 'Tombo' Johnson,
60
00:02:29,278 --> 00:02:31,912
"Astronaut
Mike 'Supernova' Novacelik
61
00:02:31,914 --> 00:02:34,513
and Payload Specialist
Howard Wolowitz."
62
00:02:34,538 --> 00:02:35,483
(giggles)
63
00:02:35,484 --> 00:02:39,753
This is going right into
my synagogue's newsletter.
64
00:02:40,755 --> 00:02:42,172
D-Dude, if you're
going to be an astronaut,
65
00:02:42,174 --> 00:02:44,424
you need to pick
a cool nickname.
66
00:02:44,426 --> 00:02:45,425
I don't get to pick it.
67
00:02:45,427 --> 00:02:47,010
The other guys
have to give it to me.
68
00:02:47,012 --> 00:02:51,031
Oh. If I had one,
it would be "Brown Dynamite."
69
00:02:51,984 --> 00:02:53,385
Are you not listening to me?
70
00:02:53,404 --> 00:02:56,237
The other astronauts
have to give you your nickname.
71
00:02:56,838 --> 00:02:58,138
Are you not looking at me?
72
00:02:58,140 --> 00:02:59,957
I am Brown Dynamite.
73
00:03:02,227 --> 00:03:05,178
Why do you put six
sugars in your coffee?
74
00:03:05,180 --> 00:03:07,013
Because the cafeteria
doesn't offer
75
00:03:07,015 --> 00:03:10,400
little packets
of methamphetamine.
76
00:03:10,402 --> 00:03:12,352
Emergency drill night
last night, huh?
77
00:03:12,354 --> 00:03:14,238
- Uh-huh.
- How'd you do?
78
00:03:14,240 --> 00:03:16,573
I'll tell you
exactly how he did.
79
00:03:16,575 --> 00:03:18,692
"Readiness:
unsatisfactory.
80
00:03:18,694 --> 00:03:20,994
"Follows direction: barely.
81
00:03:20,996 --> 00:03:23,497
"Attitude: a little too much.
82
00:03:23,499 --> 00:03:25,332
"Overall:
83
00:03:25,334 --> 00:03:28,669
"not only will he probably die
in a fiery inferno,
84
00:03:28,671 --> 00:03:31,221
"his incessant whining
would most certainly spoil
85
00:03:31,223 --> 00:03:33,390
everyone else's day."
86
00:03:34,475 --> 00:03:36,643
You know what, I can't
even think straight.
87
00:03:36,645 --> 00:03:37,877
I'm going home.
88
00:03:37,879 --> 00:03:41,348
Will one of you guys give
this nutbag a ride back later?
89
00:03:41,350 --> 00:03:42,399
You can't go home.
90
00:03:42,401 --> 00:03:44,884
You have to take me
to the dentist at 4:00.
91
00:03:44,886 --> 00:03:47,354
Oh... can't you take
the bus to the dentist?
92
00:03:47,356 --> 00:03:49,055
Of course I can.
It's coming back,
93
00:03:49,057 --> 00:03:50,890
under the residual effects
of the anesthesia,
94
00:03:50,892 --> 00:03:52,109
that's the problem.
95
00:03:52,111 --> 00:03:53,560
Two years ago,
96
00:03:53,562 --> 00:03:56,246
after a deep gum cleaning,
I thought I got on a bus
97
00:03:56,248 --> 00:03:59,249
but somehow wound up
on a booze cruise to Mexico.
98
00:04:00,952 --> 00:04:03,570
They put you under
for a cleaning?
99
00:04:03,572 --> 00:04:06,089
Yeah, they have to--
I'm a biter.
100
00:04:06,091 --> 00:04:08,125
Whatever, Sheldon.
I'm exhausted.
101
00:04:08,127 --> 00:04:10,177
I'm not taking you
to the dentist.
102
00:04:10,179 --> 00:04:11,461
Wrong, sir.
103
00:04:11,463 --> 00:04:15,015
Wrong. Under section 37-B
of the Roommate Agreement--
104
00:04:15,017 --> 00:04:17,017
"Miscellaneous Duties"--
you are obligated
105
00:04:17,019 --> 00:04:18,585
to take me to the dentist.
106
00:04:18,587 --> 00:04:21,755
See? It's right here after
"providing a confirmation sniff
107
00:04:21,757 --> 00:04:24,474
on questionable dairy products."
108
00:04:24,476 --> 00:04:28,395
You know what, I am sick
of the Roommate Agreement.
109
00:04:28,397 --> 00:04:30,564
(gasps)
110
00:04:30,566 --> 00:04:31,815
It's ridiculous.
111
00:04:31,817 --> 00:04:33,817
I'm your roommate,
not your chauffeur.
112
00:04:33,819 --> 00:04:35,986
You know, I had
better things to do yesterday
113
00:04:35,988 --> 00:04:38,872
than drive you all the way
to the "good" model train store
114
00:04:38,874 --> 00:04:40,874
in Garden Grove
because the one in Pasadena
115
00:04:40,876 --> 00:04:43,877
has gotten
"too big for its britches."
116
00:04:43,879 --> 00:04:45,779
Well, it has.
117
00:04:45,781 --> 00:04:47,447
Ask anybody.
118
00:04:47,449 --> 00:04:48,665
I don't care.
119
00:04:48,667 --> 00:04:49,666
I'm done.
120
00:04:49,668 --> 00:04:51,001
Hold on.
121
00:04:51,003 --> 00:04:54,338
Are you saying that you
want to invoke Clause 209?
122
00:04:54,340 --> 00:04:55,722
I don't know what that is,
123
00:04:55,724 --> 00:04:58,308
but if it means I can go home
and sleep, then yes.
124
00:04:58,310 --> 00:04:59,309
Think carefully here.
125
00:04:59,311 --> 00:05:01,395
Clause 209 suspends
our friendship,
126
00:05:01,397 --> 00:05:02,955
and strips down the
Roommate Agreement to
127
00:05:02,980 --> 00:05:04,280
its bare essentials.
128
00:05:04,350 --> 00:05:05,693
Our responsibilities
toward each other would
129
00:05:05,718 --> 00:05:07,698
only be rent, utilities
130
00:05:07,903 --> 00:05:10,237
and a perfunctory
chin jut of recognition
131
00:05:10,239 --> 00:05:11,521
as we pass in the hall.
132
00:05:11,523 --> 00:05:13,140
'Sup?
133
00:05:16,310 --> 00:05:18,829
Where do I sign?
134
00:05:18,831 --> 00:05:20,864
Right here.
135
00:05:20,866 --> 00:05:22,599
Use your finger.
136
00:05:23,368 --> 00:05:25,652
There. Done.
All right.
137
00:05:25,654 --> 00:05:28,205
That's it. We are
now no longer companions,
138
00:05:28,207 --> 00:05:29,840
boon or otherwise.
139
00:05:29,842 --> 00:05:31,658
We are not merely
acquaintances.
140
00:05:31,660 --> 00:05:33,794
To amend the words
of Toy Story--
141
00:05:33,796 --> 00:05:37,764
"You have not got
a friend in me."
142
00:05:37,766 --> 00:05:39,049
I'm gonna go home
and take a nap.
143
00:05:39,051 --> 00:05:42,102
Yeah, well, tell it
to someone who cares.
144
00:05:43,271 --> 00:05:45,689
I got pretty exciting
NASA news today.
145
00:05:45,691 --> 00:05:48,341
Next week I fly to Houston
for orientation
146
00:05:48,343 --> 00:05:51,645
and zero-gravity
elimination drills.
147
00:05:51,647 --> 00:05:52,696
What does that mean?
148
00:05:52,698 --> 00:05:55,515
He's gonna learn
to poop in space.
149
00:05:57,151 --> 00:06:00,186
Open the pod bay
doors, HAL.
150
00:06:01,239 --> 00:06:04,875
Maybe your nickname
should be "Brown Dynamite."
151
00:06:07,462 --> 00:06:09,463
Hello, dear friends.
152
00:06:09,465 --> 00:06:11,715
And Dr. Hofstadter.
153
00:06:12,583 --> 00:06:14,751
'Sup?
154
00:06:14,753 --> 00:06:16,970
'Sup?
155
00:06:16,972 --> 00:06:18,588
My apologies.
156
00:06:18,590 --> 00:06:19,890
I would've been here sooner,
157
00:06:19,892 --> 00:06:23,209
but the bus kept stopping
for other people to get on it.
158
00:06:23,211 --> 00:06:25,595
I saved you a dumpling.
159
00:06:25,597 --> 00:06:27,731
Oh, your concern
for me is touching.
160
00:06:27,733 --> 00:06:29,066
It will serve you well
161
00:06:29,068 --> 00:06:31,551
when you take me to
the dentist tomorrow.
162
00:06:31,553 --> 00:06:33,052
I'm sorry, Sheldon, I'm busy.
163
00:06:33,054 --> 00:06:35,272
I'm right in the middle
of my addiction study.
164
00:06:35,274 --> 00:06:37,374
I've got a lab
full of alcoholic monkeys,
165
00:06:37,376 --> 00:06:40,343
and tomorrow's the day
we switch them to O'Doul's.
166
00:06:40,345 --> 00:06:41,795
You're my girlfriend
167
00:06:41,797 --> 00:06:44,464
and you're not going to cater
to my every need?
168
00:06:44,466 --> 00:06:47,167
Oh, where'd the magic go?
169
00:06:48,236 --> 00:06:50,203
Sheldon, that's not
what girlfriends are for.
170
00:06:50,205 --> 00:06:52,572
Although, you don't use them
for what they're for,
171
00:06:52,574 --> 00:06:54,341
so what do I know?
172
00:07:00,214 --> 00:07:02,299
Howard doesn't make
me do his shopping
173
00:07:02,301 --> 00:07:03,934
or take him to the dentist
174
00:07:03,936 --> 00:07:05,852
or pick up his
dry cleaning, right?
175
00:07:05,854 --> 00:07:07,253
Absolutely.
176
00:07:07,255 --> 00:07:10,023
But when Ma's hips
give out, you're up, kid.
177
00:07:11,225 --> 00:07:14,111
Well, if Amy's too busy,
that gives the rest of you
178
00:07:14,113 --> 00:07:16,262
an opportunity to
make my life easier,
179
00:07:16,264 --> 00:07:17,397
thus assuring yourselves
180
00:07:17,399 --> 00:07:19,149
a footnote in my memoirs,
181
00:07:19,151 --> 00:07:22,402
tentatively entitled
You're Welcome, Mankind.
182
00:07:22,404 --> 00:07:23,737
All right, then,
183
00:07:23,739 --> 00:07:26,573
just shout when you hear
the task you want to undertake.
184
00:07:26,575 --> 00:07:28,125
Uh, dentist.
185
00:07:32,079 --> 00:07:34,464
Okay, w-we can
circle back to that one.
186
00:07:34,466 --> 00:07:36,967
Um, well, who wants
to take me Wednesday morning
187
00:07:36,969 --> 00:07:39,803
to get new heels
put on my dress shoes?
188
00:07:43,174 --> 00:07:44,290
Anyone?
189
00:07:44,292 --> 00:07:46,960
Oh. That one had hoot
written all over it.
190
00:07:46,962 --> 00:07:49,646
Um, all right,
uh, dermatologist.
191
00:07:52,466 --> 00:07:54,634
Allergist.
192
00:07:55,319 --> 00:07:58,255
Podiatrist.
193
00:07:58,257 --> 00:08:00,157
Supercuts?
194
00:08:00,159 --> 00:08:02,742
Okay, okay, here's a fun one.
195
00:08:02,744 --> 00:08:04,978
Um, I need a new picture frame
196
00:08:04,980 --> 00:08:07,664
and I have a hankering
for Swedish meatballs.
197
00:08:07,666 --> 00:08:10,834
Who wants to spend the day
with me at IKEA?
198
00:08:12,336 --> 00:08:13,870
Their meatballs
are pretty good.
199
00:08:13,872 --> 00:08:14,504
What's that?
200
00:08:14,506 --> 00:08:15,755
Nothing, nothing.
201
00:08:18,125 --> 00:08:19,843
Hello, Stuart.
202
00:08:19,845 --> 00:08:21,494
Oh, hey, Sheldon.
203
00:08:21,496 --> 00:08:23,129
Can I help you find
something today?
204
00:08:23,131 --> 00:08:24,631
No, no.
205
00:08:24,633 --> 00:08:25,832
I was just sitting at home
206
00:08:25,834 --> 00:08:27,968
thinking about how it
might be nice to catch up
207
00:08:27,970 --> 00:08:29,469
with my ninth favorite person.
208
00:08:29,471 --> 00:08:31,471
Ninth?
209
00:08:31,473 --> 00:08:33,473
You moved up one.
210
00:08:33,475 --> 00:08:37,010
My pen pal in Somalia
was kidnapped by pirates.
211
00:08:38,779 --> 00:08:40,530
So, uh... how are you?
212
00:08:40,532 --> 00:08:42,315
Uh... not so good.
213
00:08:42,317 --> 00:08:45,402
My shrink just
killed himself and...
214
00:08:45,404 --> 00:08:47,804
blamed me in the note.
215
00:08:50,157 --> 00:08:52,358
Great. Great.
216
00:08:53,628 --> 00:08:55,662
So, what's new
with your family?
217
00:08:55,664 --> 00:08:57,881
How's your mother?
Is she alive?
218
00:08:57,883 --> 00:08:59,382
Yeah.
219
00:08:59,384 --> 00:09:01,952
And your father? Alive?
220
00:09:01,954 --> 00:09:03,053
Yes.
221
00:09:03,055 --> 00:09:04,838
How about your grandparents,
they alive?
222
00:09:04,840 --> 00:09:07,057
No.
223
00:09:07,059 --> 00:09:08,625
Oh, I'm so sorry for your loss.
224
00:09:09,710 --> 00:09:10,927
On a cheerier note,
225
00:09:10,929 --> 00:09:14,231
I have a teeth-cleaning
appointment this afternoon.
226
00:09:14,233 --> 00:09:18,217
What do you say you
take me over there, buddy boy?
227
00:09:18,219 --> 00:09:21,021
I'm sorry, you want me
to take you to the dentist?
228
00:09:21,023 --> 00:09:23,106
Yes. Now, I can't
make any promises,
229
00:09:23,108 --> 00:09:24,524
but that's the sort of thing
230
00:09:24,526 --> 00:09:26,593
that gets a fella
on the short list
231
00:09:26,595 --> 00:09:29,329
for the number eight
friend slot.
232
00:09:29,331 --> 00:09:30,630
Sheldon, I'm working.
233
00:09:30,632 --> 00:09:32,565
I can't take you
to the dentist.
234
00:09:32,567 --> 00:09:35,335
Also-- and I can't
stress this enough--
235
00:09:35,337 --> 00:09:38,438
I don't want to take you
to the dentist.
236
00:09:38,440 --> 00:09:41,424
Can't help a friend out
in a time of need, huh?
237
00:09:41,426 --> 00:09:43,827
I see where your
therapist was coming from.
238
00:09:50,558 --> 00:09:54,227
Ooh, ooh! What about we
make your astronaut nickname
239
00:09:54,229 --> 00:09:57,597
Howard "Buzz" Wolowitz?
240
00:09:57,599 --> 00:09:59,599
You can't do "Buzz."
241
00:09:59,601 --> 00:10:01,168
"Buzz" is taken.
242
00:10:01,170 --> 00:10:03,920
Buzz Lightyear is not real.
243
00:10:05,973 --> 00:10:09,459
No, that's not what
I'm talking about.
244
00:10:09,461 --> 00:10:12,596
Well, are you talking about
when he thought he was real?
245
00:10:15,399 --> 00:10:17,667
No.
246
00:10:17,669 --> 00:10:19,903
Okay, um...
how about "Crash"?
247
00:10:19,905 --> 00:10:22,071
Howard "Crash" Wolowitz.
248
00:10:23,174 --> 00:10:24,741
Yeah, terrific.
The other astronauts
249
00:10:24,743 --> 00:10:26,743
would love to go hurtling
through space
250
00:10:26,745 --> 00:10:28,245
with a guy named "Crash."
251
00:10:28,247 --> 00:10:31,097
All right, um, how about...
252
00:10:31,099 --> 00:10:33,750
Oh, how about "Rocket Man"?
253
00:10:35,219 --> 00:10:37,637
That's not bad,
Howard "Rocket Man" Wolowitz.
254
00:10:37,639 --> 00:10:39,389
Yeah, it's great,
but I told you,
255
00:10:39,391 --> 00:10:40,857
I don't get to pick
my nickname.
256
00:10:40,859 --> 00:10:42,726
It has to come from
the other astronauts.
257
00:10:42,728 --> 00:10:45,145
Maybe there's a way to get
them to come up with it.
258
00:10:45,147 --> 00:10:47,113
Like how?
259
00:10:47,115 --> 00:10:49,115
Once I tried carrying
around a Duncan yo-yo,
260
00:10:49,117 --> 00:10:52,268
hoping the other kids would
start calling me Duncan.
261
00:10:52,270 --> 00:10:54,070
Did it work?
262
00:10:54,072 --> 00:10:57,224
No, they ended up
calling me Sock Mouth.
263
00:10:58,159 --> 00:10:59,609
Because they took away my yo-yo
264
00:10:59,611 --> 00:11:01,611
and stuffed their socks
in my mouth.
265
00:11:03,881 --> 00:11:07,634
Okay, uh, what if we make
"Rocket Man" your ringtone,
266
00:11:07,636 --> 00:11:10,170
and the next time you
talk to those guys,
267
00:11:10,172 --> 00:11:11,788
I'll call you and
they'll hear it.
268
00:11:11,790 --> 00:11:13,423
Plant the seed.
269
00:11:13,425 --> 00:11:15,292
That's actually not
a terrible plan.
270
00:11:15,294 --> 00:11:18,795
They don't call me
"Brown Dynamite" for nothing.
271
00:11:20,982 --> 00:11:21,932
'Sup?
272
00:11:21,934 --> 00:11:23,400
'Sup?
273
00:11:24,602 --> 00:11:26,436
Hey, did you ever make it
to the dentist?
274
00:11:26,438 --> 00:11:27,737
Not necessary. No.
275
00:11:27,739 --> 00:11:30,273
I found a service that'll
send a van to your house
276
00:11:30,275 --> 00:11:31,658
for a teeth cleaning.
277
00:11:31,660 --> 00:11:33,827
Mostly they cater
to dogs, but...
278
00:11:35,746 --> 00:11:38,164
...the fellow on the phone
seemed to have an open mind.
279
00:11:38,166 --> 00:11:40,033
All right, Sheldon,
280
00:11:40,035 --> 00:11:42,085
if you need me to take you
to the dentist,
281
00:11:42,087 --> 00:11:43,453
I will take you to the dentist.
282
00:11:43,455 --> 00:11:46,006
Are you suggesting that
you've come to your senses
283
00:11:46,008 --> 00:11:48,842
and wish to reestablish
the mutual benefits that stem
284
00:11:48,844 --> 00:11:50,844
from full participation
in the Roommate Agreement?
285
00:11:50,846 --> 00:11:51,995
Absolutely.
286
00:11:51,997 --> 00:11:53,847
If you admit that
you're a 30-year-old man
287
00:11:53,849 --> 00:11:55,849
who's incapable
of functioning on his own.
288
00:11:55,851 --> 00:12:00,687
Ooh, Sock Mouth's
got him on the ropes.
289
00:12:00,689 --> 00:12:02,355
I will admit nothing
of the sort.
290
00:12:02,357 --> 00:12:03,556
And now if you'll excuse me,
291
00:12:03,558 --> 00:12:05,275
I have
to call my dentist and see
292
00:12:05,277 --> 00:12:07,961
if I can also get my hair
shampooed and my nails clipped.
293
00:12:10,364 --> 00:12:12,649
(dramatic music plays on TV)
294
00:12:12,651 --> 00:12:14,851
(music stops)
295
00:12:17,621 --> 00:12:18,972
(knocking on door)
296
00:12:19,907 --> 00:12:22,025
Oh, good, your power's out, too.
297
00:12:22,027 --> 00:12:23,159
Why is that good?
298
00:12:23,161 --> 00:12:24,828
(sighs)
Because last month,
299
00:12:24,830 --> 00:12:26,696
I sent the electric company
a Starbucks gift card,
300
00:12:26,698 --> 00:12:30,717
an apology note, and a few
snapshots of me in a bra.
301
00:12:31,519 --> 00:12:33,003
(Klaxon sounds)
Power failure.
302
00:12:33,005 --> 00:12:35,204
Implementing
power-failure protocol.
303
00:12:35,206 --> 00:12:38,224
What happened to all your glow-
in-the-dark-emergency-exit stuff
304
00:12:38,226 --> 00:12:40,176
you had painted on the floor?
305
00:12:40,178 --> 00:12:42,512
Oh, that was
wildly carcinogenic.
306
00:12:42,514 --> 00:12:44,047
Anyway...
307
00:12:44,049 --> 00:12:45,849
it's too bad you're
no longer entitled
308
00:12:45,851 --> 00:12:47,600
to the full benefits
of my friendship,
309
00:12:47,602 --> 00:12:50,620
because I happen to be
extremely prepared
310
00:12:50,622 --> 00:12:51,771
for such an emergency.
311
00:12:51,773 --> 00:12:54,357
Please try not to see
anything by this light.
312
00:12:54,359 --> 00:12:56,076
It's not for you.
313
00:12:57,561 --> 00:13:00,280
It's just a blackout; I'm sure
the power will be back on soon.
314
00:13:00,282 --> 00:13:02,115
And I'm sure some fool
in the Donner party
315
00:13:02,117 --> 00:13:03,917
said the snow would
stop any day now.
316
00:13:05,736 --> 00:13:08,321
I like to think
they ate him first.
317
00:13:09,290 --> 00:13:11,124
You know, I got some candles
in my apartment.
318
00:13:11,126 --> 00:13:13,009
But candles?!
During a blackout?!
319
00:13:13,011 --> 00:13:14,744
Are you mad?
That's a fire hazard.
320
00:13:14,746 --> 00:13:15,662
No, Pasadena
321
00:13:15,664 --> 00:13:17,047
Water and Power recommends
322
00:13:17,049 --> 00:13:19,299
the far safer glow stick.
323
00:13:19,301 --> 00:13:21,518
You call that
a glow stick?
324
00:13:27,525 --> 00:13:30,026
That is a glow stick.
325
00:13:30,028 --> 00:13:31,761
Come on, let's go.
326
00:13:31,763 --> 00:13:33,730
Before you go,
consider this.
327
00:13:33,732 --> 00:13:37,200
Not only do I have a deep-cycle
marine battery power source
328
00:13:37,202 --> 00:13:38,368
which is more than capable
329
00:13:38,370 --> 00:13:39,786
of running our
entertainment system,
330
00:13:39,788 --> 00:13:41,187
I also have
331
00:13:41,189 --> 00:13:44,874
all 61 episodes
of the BBC series Red Dwarf...
332
00:13:44,876 --> 00:13:48,211
and Fiddle-Faddle.
333
00:13:48,213 --> 00:13:49,829
All yours
334
00:13:49,831 --> 00:13:52,582
if you're willing to reinstate
the Roommate Agreement.
335
00:13:52,584 --> 00:13:56,603
I've got wine at my place and
some bubble wrap we could pop.
336
00:14:01,142 --> 00:14:02,342
Oh, he'll be back.
337
00:14:02,344 --> 00:14:04,060
Wine and a girl in the dark--
338
00:14:04,062 --> 00:14:06,479
he's gonna be bored
out of his mind.
339
00:14:07,681 --> 00:14:10,016
To wine and bubble wrap.
340
00:14:10,018 --> 00:14:11,584
(popping)
341
00:14:11,586 --> 00:14:14,571
And to not having to watch
Sheldon demonstrate
342
00:14:14,573 --> 00:14:16,322
his reverse osmosis machine
343
00:14:16,324 --> 00:14:18,825
that converts urine
into drinking water.
344
00:14:20,828 --> 00:14:22,862
You know, in Girl Scouts,
Tammie Dineesha said
345
00:14:22,864 --> 00:14:25,115
you could do that
with panty hose.
346
00:14:25,117 --> 00:14:28,001
Boy, was she wrong.
347
00:14:28,003 --> 00:14:31,121
Anyway, you want
to make out?
348
00:14:31,123 --> 00:14:34,090
I thought because our
relationship's in a beta test,
349
00:14:34,092 --> 00:14:36,426
you wanted to
take things slow.
350
00:14:36,428 --> 00:14:37,727
Okay.
351
00:14:37,729 --> 00:14:40,530
Do you want to make out slow?
352
00:14:40,532 --> 00:14:45,435
I can go so slow it'll be like
there's a snail in your mouth.
353
00:14:47,004 --> 00:14:49,456
Ugh.
354
00:14:51,225 --> 00:14:54,010
Well, lucky for you, there's
nothing else to do right now.
355
00:14:56,263 --> 00:14:57,730
Excuse me, Leonard.
356
00:14:57,732 --> 00:14:59,015
Since when don't you knock?
357
00:14:59,017 --> 00:15:01,234
It's like the only
good thing about you.
358
00:15:01,236 --> 00:15:03,987
Social niceties
have been suspended, Leonard.
359
00:15:03,989 --> 00:15:05,622
We're in a state of a emergency.
360
00:15:05,624 --> 00:15:07,023
The world has
361
00:15:07,025 --> 00:15:08,791
descended into darkened turmoil.
362
00:15:08,793 --> 00:15:12,378
Lawlessness and savagery
are the order of the day.
363
00:15:12,380 --> 00:15:14,063
Fine, what is it?
364
00:15:14,065 --> 00:15:15,482
I'm making s'mores.
365
00:15:16,667 --> 00:15:17,967
I wanted to alert you
366
00:15:17,969 --> 00:15:19,368
in case you smelled
caramelizing marshmallows
367
00:15:19,370 --> 00:15:22,305
and thought a nearby
candy factory was on fire.
368
00:15:22,307 --> 00:15:24,524
S'mores, huh?
Good for you.
369
00:15:24,526 --> 00:15:27,510
Yes, or good for us
370
00:15:27,512 --> 00:15:28,728
if you sign here
371
00:15:28,730 --> 00:15:30,680
and reinstate
the full Roommate Agreement.
372
00:15:30,682 --> 00:15:31,898
No, thanks. I'm good.
373
00:15:31,900 --> 00:15:33,382
Really?
374
00:15:33,384 --> 00:15:35,018
Huh! Okay.
375
00:15:35,020 --> 00:15:37,937
In that case, I will have
a s'more by myself.
376
00:15:37,939 --> 00:15:41,024
And then I'm gonna have s'more.
377
00:15:44,612 --> 00:15:46,562
By myself.
378
00:15:46,564 --> 00:15:48,748
- Aw.
- No, don't "aw" him.
379
00:15:48,750 --> 00:15:50,283
He brought this all
on himself.
380
00:15:50,285 --> 00:15:51,951
But he's sad.
381
00:15:51,953 --> 00:15:52,869
No, he's crazy.
382
00:15:52,871 --> 00:15:54,403
Sometimes crazy
looks like sad
383
00:15:54,405 --> 00:15:56,789
so it'll suck you back in.
384
00:15:56,791 --> 00:16:00,593
I think he misses
his little buddy.
385
00:16:02,096 --> 00:16:04,214
Fine.
386
00:16:04,216 --> 00:16:05,715
But mark my words,
387
00:16:05,717 --> 00:16:09,385
this frustrating, bogus teenage
make-out session is not over.
388
00:16:09,387 --> 00:16:12,188
(popping)
389
00:16:18,729 --> 00:16:21,264
I thought you said
candles were dangerous.
390
00:16:21,266 --> 00:16:23,383
This is a Bunsen burner.
391
00:16:24,885 --> 00:16:28,071
I'm a scientist;
I know what I'm doing.
392
00:16:28,073 --> 00:16:30,273
Oh, drat.
393
00:16:34,578 --> 00:16:35,945
Aww.
394
00:16:35,947 --> 00:16:39,949
It took me a gallon of urine
to make that water.
395
00:16:43,003 --> 00:16:44,971
Listen, Sheldon, this is stupid.
396
00:16:44,973 --> 00:16:46,639
I don't see why we can't
be friends.
397
00:16:46,641 --> 00:16:48,291
And I'm willing to
drive you around
398
00:16:48,293 --> 00:16:49,625
and help you out with stuff.
399
00:16:49,627 --> 00:16:50,793
I just don't want to do it
400
00:16:50,795 --> 00:16:52,295
because of some
silly Roommate Agreement.
401
00:16:52,297 --> 00:16:53,930
What are you proposing?
402
00:16:53,932 --> 00:16:56,099
That we go back to
the way things were.
403
00:16:56,101 --> 00:16:58,017
But when I do
something for you,
404
00:16:58,019 --> 00:16:59,819
you show a little
appreciation.
405
00:16:59,821 --> 00:17:02,305
And how would I do that?
406
00:17:02,307 --> 00:17:04,991
You say "thank you."
407
00:17:04,993 --> 00:17:07,810
Every time?
408
00:17:07,812 --> 00:17:10,613
It's not crazy.
409
00:17:10,615 --> 00:17:12,999
Counter-proposal.
410
00:17:13,001 --> 00:17:15,151
We reinstate the full
Roommate Agreement
411
00:17:15,153 --> 00:17:16,819
with the following addendum:
412
00:17:16,821 --> 00:17:20,506
in the spirit of Mother's Day
or Father's Day,
413
00:17:20,508 --> 00:17:23,793
once a year, we set aside
a day to celebrate
414
00:17:23,795 --> 00:17:25,995
all your contributions
to my life,
415
00:17:25,997 --> 00:17:29,599
both actual and imagined by you.
416
00:17:30,768 --> 00:17:32,685
We could call it Leonard's Day.
417
00:17:32,687 --> 00:17:36,522
I kind of like
the sound of that.
418
00:17:36,524 --> 00:17:37,673
Of course you do.
419
00:17:37,675 --> 00:17:38,941
It's about you,
like everything else.
420
00:17:38,943 --> 00:17:41,694
Oh, thank goodness.
421
00:17:41,696 --> 00:17:45,181
I don't think I had it in me
to make another glass of water.
422
00:17:45,183 --> 00:17:48,184
So, do I get breakfast
in bed on Leonard's Day?
423
00:17:48,186 --> 00:17:49,235
No.
424
00:17:49,237 --> 00:17:50,320
Can I sit in your spot?
425
00:17:50,322 --> 00:17:51,321
No.
426
00:17:51,323 --> 00:17:53,189
Can I control the thermostat?
427
00:17:53,191 --> 00:17:53,873
No.
428
00:17:53,875 --> 00:17:55,375
Do I get a card?
429
00:17:55,377 --> 00:17:57,193
Of course you get a card.
430
00:17:58,329 --> 00:18:00,029
It's Leonard's Day.
431
00:18:00,798 --> 00:18:02,415
Hey, guys, the building
manager said
432
00:18:02,417 --> 00:18:03,966
the reason
the power went out is
433
00:18:03,968 --> 00:18:05,218
someone went
down into the basement
434
00:18:05,220 --> 00:18:07,153
and just pulled the
main breaker switch.
435
00:18:09,890 --> 00:18:11,974
Really.
436
00:18:13,710 --> 00:18:15,044
Who do you think
did that, Sheldon?
437
00:18:15,046 --> 00:18:19,816
Oh, I don't know.
438
00:18:20,934 --> 00:18:23,569
But whoever
that mystery man was,
439
00:18:23,571 --> 00:18:25,271
you should be
eternally grateful,
440
00:18:25,273 --> 00:18:28,891
for without him, there would
be no Leonard's Day.
441
00:18:28,893 --> 00:18:30,877
Leonard's Day?
442
00:18:30,879 --> 00:18:31,944
Oh, no pressure.
443
00:18:31,946 --> 00:18:33,729
Just get him a crummy card,
you're good.
444
00:18:38,303 --> 00:18:40,704
All right, test my ring tone.
445
00:18:40,706 --> 00:18:45,659
(Elton John's
"Rocket Man" plays)
446
00:18:45,661 --> 00:18:48,262
- That really is a good song.
- Oh, yeah.
447
00:18:48,264 --> 00:18:50,047
There's a reason
he's Sir Elton John.
448
00:18:50,049 --> 00:18:51,215
They don't make you a knight
449
00:18:51,217 --> 00:18:53,584
for writing "Wake Me Up
Before You Go Go."
450
00:18:55,220 --> 00:18:57,688
MRS. WOLOWITZ: Howard, are you
coming down for breakfast?!
451
00:18:57,690 --> 00:18:59,273
Ma, I told you I have
452
00:18:59,275 --> 00:19:00,808
a video conference with NASA!
453
00:19:00,810 --> 00:19:02,109
I said don't bother me!
454
00:19:02,111 --> 00:19:04,812
MRS. WOLOWITZ: Oh! Listen to
Mr. Big Shot Astronaut!
455
00:19:04,814 --> 00:19:09,182
Yes, please listen
to Mr. Big Shot Astronaut!
456
00:19:09,184 --> 00:19:11,368
(Skype rings)
457
00:19:12,871 --> 00:19:15,355
Hey, good morning.
458
00:19:15,357 --> 00:19:17,841
Hey, Howard,
thanks for getting up so early.
459
00:19:17,843 --> 00:19:20,627
No problem, Dr. Massimino.
460
00:19:20,629 --> 00:19:22,446
The guys here call me Mass.
461
00:19:22,448 --> 00:19:24,331
Mass!
That's a cool nickname.
462
00:19:24,333 --> 00:19:27,134
'Cause force equals mass
times acceleration.
463
00:19:27,136 --> 00:19:28,369
Yeah.
464
00:19:28,371 --> 00:19:31,138
It's just short
for Massimino.
465
00:19:32,924 --> 00:19:35,976
Anyway, the plan for this
morning is to go over the...
466
00:19:35,978 --> 00:19:37,394
(Elton John's
"Rocket Man" playing)
467
00:19:37,396 --> 00:19:38,512
Sorry. My phone.
468
00:19:38,514 --> 00:19:41,482
What is that?
Is that "Rocket Man"?
469
00:19:41,484 --> 00:19:42,983
Yeah, my ring tone.
470
00:19:42,985 --> 00:19:45,486
Kind of my favorite song,
"Rocket Man."
471
00:19:45,488 --> 00:19:46,987
MRS. WOLOWITZ:
Howard,
472
00:19:46,989 --> 00:19:50,841
your Fruit Loops
are getting soggy!
473
00:19:51,943 --> 00:19:53,410
Not now!
474
00:19:53,412 --> 00:19:54,695
Who's that?
475
00:19:54,697 --> 00:19:56,780
My mom. Sorry.
476
00:19:56,782 --> 00:20:00,017
No problem... Fruit Loops.
477
00:20:00,019 --> 00:20:04,019
== sync by Sp8ky , corrected by elderman ==