1
00:00:11,503 --> 00:00:13,537
(Klaxon blaring)
(screams)
2
00:00:14,039 --> 00:00:15,339
What the hell?
3
00:00:15,341 --> 00:00:17,040
Emergency preparedness drill.
4
00:00:17,042 --> 00:00:19,492
- Oh, no, come on!
- Yeah, you know how it works.
5
00:00:19,494 --> 00:00:22,129
Once a quarter,
keep our readiness up.
6
00:00:22,131 --> 00:00:24,381
Now, rise and shine,
sleepy head.
7
00:00:24,383 --> 00:00:26,967
Half the town is probably dead.
8
00:00:26,969 --> 00:00:30,987
I have to get
a lock for my door.
9
00:00:30,989 --> 00:00:33,023
I think you'll like
the drill tonight.
10
00:00:33,025 --> 00:00:34,558
I've tried to make it fun.
11
00:00:34,560 --> 00:00:35,892
Each of these cards
12
00:00:35,894 --> 00:00:39,529
contains a detailed scenario
of a possible apocalyptic event.
13
00:00:39,531 --> 00:00:41,648
Everything from wild fires
14
00:00:41,650 --> 00:00:45,068
to a surprise invasion
by Canada.
15
00:00:45,070 --> 00:00:47,621
Pick a catastrophe,
any catastrophe.
16
00:00:48,689 --> 00:00:53,693
Sheldon, Canada is not going
to invade California.
17
00:00:53,695 --> 00:00:55,262
Yeah, really?
You think those hippies
18
00:00:55,264 --> 00:00:57,898
in Washington and Oregon
can stop them?
19
00:00:59,033 --> 00:01:00,984
Fine.
20
00:01:01,836 --> 00:01:03,036
All righty!
21
00:01:03,038 --> 00:01:06,723
"An 8.2 magnitude earthquake
devastates Pasadena,
22
00:01:06,725 --> 00:01:08,675
"reducing mighty
edifices to dust,
23
00:01:08,677 --> 00:01:10,727
"engulfing the city in flames.
24
00:01:10,729 --> 00:01:12,378
"The streets flow with blood
25
00:01:12,380 --> 00:01:14,431
and echo with the cries
of the wounded."
26
00:01:14,433 --> 00:01:16,149
Oh, excellent choice.
27
00:01:16,151 --> 00:01:18,435
Now, put on your hardhat
and safety vest.
28
00:01:18,437 --> 00:01:19,736
Oh, fun.
29
00:01:19,738 --> 00:01:22,555
I get to spend another night
in front of our apartment
30
00:01:22,557 --> 00:01:25,492
dressed like one
of the Village People.
31
00:01:25,494 --> 00:01:27,327
You make that joke
every three months.
32
00:01:27,329 --> 00:01:28,528
I still don't get it.
33
00:01:28,530 --> 00:01:30,864
Leonard... wait.
34
00:01:30,866 --> 00:01:31,832
What are you doing?
35
00:01:31,834 --> 00:01:34,418
I don't know,
what am I doing?
36
00:01:34,420 --> 00:01:35,585
Look around you--
37
00:01:35,587 --> 00:01:38,955
there's hypothetical
broken glass everywhere.
38
00:01:38,957 --> 00:01:41,074
Really? You're going
to face Armageddon
39
00:01:41,076 --> 00:01:42,709
without your orthotics?
40
00:01:42,711 --> 00:01:45,412
Your choice.
41
00:01:45,414 --> 00:01:47,747
Uh-oh, hypothetical aftershock!
44
00:01:50,102 --> 00:01:52,385
And that's why we wear hardhats.
45
00:01:52,387 --> 00:01:56,022
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
46
00:01:56,024 --> 00:01:59,342
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
47
00:01:59,344 --> 00:02:00,944
♪ The Earth began to cool
48
00:02:00,946 --> 00:02:03,480
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
49
00:02:03,482 --> 00:02:06,149
♪ We built the Wall
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
50
00:02:06,151 --> 00:02:08,819
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
51
00:02:08,821 --> 00:02:10,720
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
52
00:02:10,722 --> 00:02:12,264
♪ Bang! ♪
53
00:02:12,265 --> 00:02:15,365
The Big Bang Theory 5x15
The Friendship Contraction
Original Air Date on February 2, 2012
54
00:02:15,366 --> 00:02:18,466
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
55
00:02:18,503 --> 00:02:20,537
Check it out--
press release
56
00:02:20,539 --> 00:02:21,839
from NASA.
57
00:02:21,841 --> 00:02:24,275
Um, "Expedition 31
will launch this spring
58
00:02:24,277 --> 00:02:26,143
"to the International
Space Station.
59
00:02:26,145 --> 00:02:29,680
"Crew members will include
Commander Tom 'Tombo' Johnson,
60
00:02:29,682 --> 00:02:32,316
"Astronaut
Mike 'Supernova' Novacelik
61
00:02:32,318 --> 00:02:34,917
and Payload Specialist
Howard Wolowitz."
62
00:02:34,942 --> 00:02:35,887
(giggles)
63
00:02:35,888 --> 00:02:40,157
This is going right into
my synagogue's newsletter.
64
00:02:41,159 --> 00:02:42,576
D-Dude, if you're
going to be an astronaut,
65
00:02:42,578 --> 00:02:44,828
you need to pick
a cool nickname.
66
00:02:44,830 --> 00:02:45,829
I don't get to pick it.
67
00:02:45,831 --> 00:02:47,414
The other guys
have to give it to me.
68
00:02:47,416 --> 00:02:51,435
Oh. If I had one,
it would be "Brown Dynamite."
69
00:02:52,388 --> 00:02:53,789
Are you not listening to me?
70
00:02:53,808 --> 00:02:56,641
The other astronauts
have to give you your nickname.
71
00:02:57,242 --> 00:02:58,542
Are you not looking at me?
72
00:02:58,544 --> 00:03:00,361
I am Brown Dynamite.
73
00:03:02,631 --> 00:03:05,582
Why do you put six
sugars in your coffee?
74
00:03:05,584 --> 00:03:07,417
Because the cafeteria
doesn't offer
75
00:03:07,419 --> 00:03:10,804
little packets
of methamphetamine.
76
00:03:10,806 --> 00:03:12,756
Emergency drill night
last night, huh?
77
00:03:12,758 --> 00:03:14,642
- Uh-huh.
- How'd you do?
78
00:03:14,644 --> 00:03:16,977
I'll tell you
exactly how he did.
79
00:03:16,979 --> 00:03:19,096
"Readiness:
unsatisfactory.
80
00:03:19,098 --> 00:03:21,398
"Follows direction: barely.
81
00:03:21,400 --> 00:03:23,901
"Attitude: a little too much.
82
00:03:23,903 --> 00:03:25,736
"Overall:
83
00:03:25,738 --> 00:03:29,073
"not only will he probably die
in a fiery inferno,
84
00:03:29,075 --> 00:03:31,625
"his incessant whining
would most certainly spoil
85
00:03:31,627 --> 00:03:33,794
everyone else's day."
86
00:03:34,879 --> 00:03:37,047
You know what, I can't
even think straight.
87
00:03:37,049 --> 00:03:38,281
I'm going home.
88
00:03:38,283 --> 00:03:41,752
Will one of you guys give
this nutbag a ride back later?
89
00:03:41,754 --> 00:03:42,803
You can't go home.
90
00:03:42,805 --> 00:03:45,288
You have to take me
to the dentist at 4:00.
91
00:03:45,290 --> 00:03:47,758
Oh... can't you take
the bus to the dentist?
92
00:03:47,760 --> 00:03:49,459
Of course I can.
It's coming back,
93
00:03:49,461 --> 00:03:51,294
under the residual effects
of the anesthesia,
94
00:03:51,296 --> 00:03:52,513
that's the problem.
95
00:03:52,515 --> 00:03:53,964
Two years ago,
96
00:03:53,966 --> 00:03:56,650
after a deep gum cleaning,
I thought I got on a bus
97
00:03:56,652 --> 00:03:59,653
but somehow wound up
on a booze cruise to Mexico.
98
00:04:01,356 --> 00:04:03,974
They put you under
for a cleaning?
99
00:04:03,976 --> 00:04:06,493
Yeah, they have to--
I'm a biter.
100
00:04:06,495 --> 00:04:08,529
Whatever, Sheldon.
I'm exhausted.
101
00:04:08,531 --> 00:04:10,581
I'm not taking you
to the dentist.
102
00:04:10,583 --> 00:04:11,865
Wrong, sir.
103
00:04:11,867 --> 00:04:15,419
Wrong. Under section 37-B
of the Roommate Agreement--
104
00:04:15,421 --> 00:04:17,421
"Miscellaneous Duties"--
you are obligated
105
00:04:17,423 --> 00:04:18,989
to take me to the dentist.
106
00:04:18,991 --> 00:04:22,159
See? It's right here after
"providing a confirmation sniff
107
00:04:22,161 --> 00:04:24,878
on questionable dairy products."
108
00:04:24,880 --> 00:04:28,799
You know what, I am sick
of the Roommate Agreement.
109
00:04:28,801 --> 00:04:30,968
(gasps)
110
00:04:30,970 --> 00:04:32,219
It's ridiculous.
111
00:04:32,221 --> 00:04:34,221
I'm your roommate,
not your chauffeur.
112
00:04:34,223 --> 00:04:36,390
You know, I had
better things to do yesterday
113
00:04:36,392 --> 00:04:39,276
than drive you all the way
to the "good" model train store
114
00:04:39,278 --> 00:04:41,278
in Garden Grove
because the one in Pasadena
115
00:04:41,280 --> 00:04:44,281
has gotten
"too big for its britches."
116
00:04:44,283 --> 00:04:46,183
Well, it has.
117
00:04:46,185 --> 00:04:47,851
Ask anybody.
118
00:04:47,853 --> 00:04:49,069
I don't care.
119
00:04:49,071 --> 00:04:50,070
I'm done.
120
00:04:50,072 --> 00:04:51,405
Hold on.
121
00:04:51,407 --> 00:04:54,742
Are you saying that you
want to invoke Clause 209?
122
00:04:54,744 --> 00:04:56,126
I don't know what that is,
123
00:04:56,128 --> 00:04:58,712
but if it means I can go home
and sleep, then yes.
124
00:04:58,714 --> 00:04:59,713
Think carefully here.
125
00:04:59,715 --> 00:05:01,799
Clause 209 suspends
our friendship,
126
00:05:01,801 --> 00:05:03,359
and strips down the
Roommate Agreement to
127
00:05:03,384 --> 00:05:04,684
its bare essentials.
128
00:05:04,754 --> 00:05:06,097
Our responsibilities
toward each other would
129
00:05:06,122 --> 00:05:08,102
only be rent, utilities
130
00:05:08,307 --> 00:05:10,641
and a perfunctory
chin jut of recognition
131
00:05:10,643 --> 00:05:11,925
as we pass in the hall.
132
00:05:11,927 --> 00:05:13,544
'Sup?
133
00:05:16,714 --> 00:05:19,233
Where do I sign?
134
00:05:19,235 --> 00:05:21,268
Right here.
135
00:05:21,270 --> 00:05:23,003
Use your finger.
136
00:05:23,772 --> 00:05:26,056
There. Done.
All right.
137
00:05:26,058 --> 00:05:28,609
That's it. We are
now no longer companions,
138
00:05:28,611 --> 00:05:30,244
boon or otherwise.
139
00:05:30,246 --> 00:05:32,062
We are not merely
acquaintances.
140
00:05:32,064 --> 00:05:34,198
To amend the words
of Toy Story--
141
00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:38,168
"You have not got
a friend in me."
142
00:05:38,170 --> 00:05:39,453
I'm gonna go home
and take a nap.
143
00:05:39,455 --> 00:05:42,506
Yeah, well, tell it
to someone who cares.
144
00:05:43,675 --> 00:05:46,093
I got pretty exciting
NASA news today.
145
00:05:46,095 --> 00:05:48,745
Next week I fly to Houston
for orientation
146
00:05:48,747 --> 00:05:52,049
and zero-gravity
elimination drills.
147
00:05:52,051 --> 00:05:53,100
What does that mean?
148
00:05:53,102 --> 00:05:55,919
He's gonna learn
to poop in space.
149
00:05:57,555 --> 00:06:00,590
Open the pod bay
doors, HAL.
150
00:06:01,643 --> 00:06:05,279
Maybe your nickname
should be "Brown Dynamite."
151
00:06:07,866 --> 00:06:09,867
Hello, dear friends.
152
00:06:09,869 --> 00:06:12,119
And Dr. Hofstadter.
153
00:06:12,987 --> 00:06:15,155
'Sup?
154
00:06:15,157 --> 00:06:17,374
'Sup?
155
00:06:17,376 --> 00:06:18,992
My apologies.
156
00:06:18,994 --> 00:06:20,294
I would've been here sooner,
157
00:06:20,296 --> 00:06:23,613
but the bus kept stopping
for other people to get on it.
158
00:06:23,615 --> 00:06:25,999
I saved you a dumpling.
159
00:06:26,001 --> 00:06:28,135
Oh, your concern
for me is touching.
160
00:06:28,137 --> 00:06:29,470
It will serve you well
161
00:06:29,472 --> 00:06:31,955
when you take me to
the dentist tomorrow.
162
00:06:31,957 --> 00:06:33,456
I'm sorry, Sheldon, I'm busy.
163
00:06:33,458 --> 00:06:35,676
I'm right in the middle
of my addiction study.
164
00:06:35,678 --> 00:06:37,778
I've got a lab
full of alcoholic monkeys,
165
00:06:37,780 --> 00:06:40,747
and tomorrow's the day
we switch them to O'Doul's.
166
00:06:40,749 --> 00:06:42,199
You're my girlfriend
167
00:06:42,201 --> 00:06:44,868
and you're not going to cater
to my every need?
168
00:06:44,870 --> 00:06:47,571
Oh, where'd the magic go?
169
00:06:48,640 --> 00:06:50,607
Sheldon, that's not
what girlfriends are for.
170
00:06:50,609 --> 00:06:52,976
Although, you don't use them
for what they're for,
171
00:06:52,978 --> 00:06:54,745
so what do I know?
172
00:07:00,618 --> 00:07:02,703
Howard doesn't make
me do his shopping
173
00:07:02,705 --> 00:07:04,338
or take him to the dentist
174
00:07:04,340 --> 00:07:06,256
or pick up his
dry cleaning, right?
175
00:07:06,258 --> 00:07:07,657
Absolutely.
176
00:07:07,659 --> 00:07:10,427
But when Ma's hips
give out, you're up, kid.
177
00:07:11,629 --> 00:07:14,515
Well, if Amy's too busy,
that gives the rest of you
178
00:07:14,517 --> 00:07:16,666
an opportunity to
make my life easier,
179
00:07:16,668 --> 00:07:17,801
thus assuring yourselves
180
00:07:17,803 --> 00:07:19,553
a footnote in my memoirs,
181
00:07:19,555 --> 00:07:22,806
tentatively entitled
You're Welcome, Mankind.
182
00:07:22,808 --> 00:07:24,141
All right, then,
183
00:07:24,143 --> 00:07:26,977
just shout when you hear
the task you want to undertake.
184
00:07:26,979 --> 00:07:28,529
Uh, dentist.
185
00:07:32,483 --> 00:07:34,868
Okay, w-we can
circle back to that one.
186
00:07:34,870 --> 00:07:37,371
Um, well, who wants
to take me Wednesday morning
187
00:07:37,373 --> 00:07:40,207
to get new heels
put on my dress shoes?
188
00:07:43,578 --> 00:07:44,694
Anyone?
189
00:07:44,696 --> 00:07:47,364
Oh. That one had hoot
written all over it.
190
00:07:47,366 --> 00:07:50,050
Um, all right,
uh, dermatologist.
191
00:07:52,870 --> 00:07:55,038
Allergist.
192
00:07:55,723 --> 00:07:58,659
Podiatrist.
193
00:07:58,661 --> 00:08:00,561
Supercuts?
194
00:08:00,563 --> 00:08:03,146
Okay, okay, here's a fun one.
195
00:08:03,148 --> 00:08:05,382
Um, I need a new picture frame
196
00:08:05,384 --> 00:08:08,068
and I have a hankering
for Swedish meatballs.
197
00:08:08,070 --> 00:08:11,238
Who wants to spend the day
with me at IKEA?
198
00:08:12,740 --> 00:08:14,274
Their meatballs
are pretty good.
199
00:08:14,276 --> 00:08:14,908
What's that?
200
00:08:14,910 --> 00:08:16,159
Nothing, nothing.
201
00:08:18,529 --> 00:08:20,247
Hello, Stuart.
202
00:08:20,249 --> 00:08:21,898
Oh, hey, Sheldon.
203
00:08:21,900 --> 00:08:23,533
Can I help you find
something today?
204
00:08:23,535 --> 00:08:25,035
No, no.
205
00:08:25,037 --> 00:08:26,236
I was just sitting at home
206
00:08:26,238 --> 00:08:28,372
thinking about how it
might be nice to catch up
207
00:08:28,374 --> 00:08:29,873
with my ninth favorite person.
208
00:08:29,875 --> 00:08:31,875
Ninth?
209
00:08:31,877 --> 00:08:33,877
You moved up one.
210
00:08:33,879 --> 00:08:37,414
My pen pal in Somalia
was kidnapped by pirates.
211
00:08:39,183 --> 00:08:40,934
So, uh... how are you?
212
00:08:40,936 --> 00:08:42,719
Uh... not so good.
213
00:08:42,721 --> 00:08:45,806
My shrink just
killed himself and...
214
00:08:45,808 --> 00:08:48,208
blamed me in the note.
215
00:08:50,561 --> 00:08:52,762
Great. Great.
216
00:08:54,032 --> 00:08:56,066
So, what's new
with your family?
217
00:08:56,068 --> 00:08:58,285
How's your mother?
Is she alive?
218
00:08:58,287 --> 00:08:59,786
Yeah.
219
00:08:59,788 --> 00:09:02,356
And your father? Alive?
220
00:09:02,358 --> 00:09:03,457
Yes.
221
00:09:03,459 --> 00:09:05,242
How about your grandparents,
they alive?
222
00:09:05,244 --> 00:09:07,461
No.
223
00:09:07,463 --> 00:09:09,029
Oh, I'm so sorry for your loss.
224
00:09:10,114 --> 00:09:11,331
On a cheerier note,
225
00:09:11,333 --> 00:09:14,635
I have a teeth-cleaning
appointment this afternoon.
226
00:09:14,637 --> 00:09:18,621
What do you say you
take me over there, buddy boy?
227
00:09:18,623 --> 00:09:21,425
I'm sorry, you want me
to take you to the dentist?
228
00:09:21,427 --> 00:09:23,510
Yes. Now, I can't
make any promises,
229
00:09:23,512 --> 00:09:24,928
but that's the sort of thing
230
00:09:24,930 --> 00:09:26,997
that gets a fella
on the short list
231
00:09:26,999 --> 00:09:29,733
for the number eight
friend slot.
232
00:09:29,735 --> 00:09:31,034
Sheldon, I'm working.
233
00:09:31,036 --> 00:09:32,969
I can't take you
to the dentist.
234
00:09:32,971 --> 00:09:35,739
Also-- and I can't
stress this enough--
235
00:09:35,741 --> 00:09:38,842
I don't want to take you
to the dentist.
236
00:09:38,844 --> 00:09:41,828
Can't help a friend out
in a time of need, huh?
237
00:09:41,830 --> 00:09:44,231
I see where your
therapist was coming from.
238
00:09:50,889 --> 00:09:54,558
Ooh, ooh! What about we
make your astronaut nickname
239
00:09:54,560 --> 00:09:57,928
Howard "Buzz" Wolowitz?
240
00:09:57,930 --> 00:09:59,930
You can't do "Buzz."
241
00:09:59,932 --> 00:10:01,499
"Buzz" is taken.
242
00:10:01,501 --> 00:10:04,251
Buzz Lightyear is not real.
243
00:10:06,304 --> 00:10:09,790
No, that's not what
I'm talking about.
244
00:10:09,792 --> 00:10:12,927
Well, are you talking about
when he thought he was real?
245
00:10:15,730 --> 00:10:17,998
No.
246
00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:20,234
Okay, um...
how about "Crash"?
247
00:10:20,236 --> 00:10:22,402
Howard "Crash" Wolowitz.
248
00:10:23,505 --> 00:10:25,072
Yeah, terrific.
The other astronauts
249
00:10:25,074 --> 00:10:27,074
would love to go hurtling
through space
250
00:10:27,076 --> 00:10:28,576
with a guy named "Crash."
251
00:10:28,578 --> 00:10:31,428
All right, um, how about...
252
00:10:31,430 --> 00:10:34,081
Oh, how about "Rocket Man"?
253
00:10:35,550 --> 00:10:37,968
That's not bad,
Howard "Rocket Man" Wolowitz.
254
00:10:37,970 --> 00:10:39,720
Yeah, it's great,
but I told you,
255
00:10:39,722 --> 00:10:41,188
I don't get to pick
my nickname.
256
00:10:41,190 --> 00:10:43,057
It has to come from
the other astronauts.
257
00:10:43,059 --> 00:10:45,476
Maybe there's a way to get
them to come up with it.
258
00:10:45,478 --> 00:10:47,444
Like how?
259
00:10:47,446 --> 00:10:49,446
Once I tried carrying
around a Duncan yo-yo,
260
00:10:49,448 --> 00:10:52,599
hoping the other kids would
start calling me Duncan.
261
00:10:52,601 --> 00:10:54,401
Did it work?
262
00:10:54,403 --> 00:10:57,555
No, they ended up
calling me Sock Mouth.
263
00:10:58,490 --> 00:10:59,940
Because they took away my yo-yo
264
00:10:59,942 --> 00:11:01,942
and stuffed their socks
in my mouth.
265
00:11:04,212 --> 00:11:07,965
Okay, uh, what if we make
"Rocket Man" your ringtone,
266
00:11:07,967 --> 00:11:10,501
and the next time you
talk to those guys,
267
00:11:10,503 --> 00:11:12,119
I'll call you and
they'll hear it.
268
00:11:12,121 --> 00:11:13,754
Plant the seed.
269
00:11:13,756 --> 00:11:15,623
That's actually not
a terrible plan.
270
00:11:15,625 --> 00:11:19,126
They don't call me
"Brown Dynamite" for nothing.
271
00:11:21,313 --> 00:11:22,263
'Sup?
272
00:11:22,265 --> 00:11:23,731
'Sup?
273
00:11:24,933 --> 00:11:26,767
Hey, did you ever make it
to the dentist?
274
00:11:26,769 --> 00:11:28,068
Not necessary. No.
275
00:11:28,070 --> 00:11:30,604
I found a service that'll
send a van to your house
276
00:11:30,606 --> 00:11:31,989
for a teeth cleaning.
277
00:11:31,991 --> 00:11:34,158
Mostly they cater
to dogs, but...
278
00:11:36,077 --> 00:11:38,495
...the fellow on the phone
seemed to have an open mind.
279
00:11:38,497 --> 00:11:40,364
All right, Sheldon,
280
00:11:40,366 --> 00:11:42,416
if you need me to take you
to the dentist,
281
00:11:42,418 --> 00:11:43,784
I will take you to the dentist.
282
00:11:43,786 --> 00:11:46,337
Are you suggesting that
you've come to your senses
283
00:11:46,339 --> 00:11:49,173
and wish to reestablish
the mutual benefits that stem
284
00:11:49,175 --> 00:11:51,175
from full participation
in the Roommate Agreement?
285
00:11:51,177 --> 00:11:52,326
Absolutely.
286
00:11:52,328 --> 00:11:54,178
If you admit that
you're a 30-year-old man
287
00:11:54,180 --> 00:11:56,180
who's incapable
of functioning on his own.
288
00:11:56,182 --> 00:12:01,018
Ooh, Sock Mouth's
got him on the ropes.
289
00:12:01,020 --> 00:12:02,686
I will admit nothing
of the sort.
290
00:12:02,688 --> 00:12:03,887
And now if you'll excuse me,
291
00:12:03,889 --> 00:12:05,606
I have
to call my dentist and see
292
00:12:05,608 --> 00:12:08,292
if I can also get my hair
shampooed and my nails clipped.
293
00:12:10,695 --> 00:12:12,980
(dramatic music plays on TV)
294
00:12:12,982 --> 00:12:15,182
(music stops)
295
00:12:17,952 --> 00:12:19,303
(knocking on door)
296
00:12:20,238 --> 00:12:22,356
Oh, good, your power's out, too.
297
00:12:22,358 --> 00:12:23,490
Why is that good?
298
00:12:23,492 --> 00:12:25,159
(sighs)
Because last month,
299
00:12:25,161 --> 00:12:27,027
I sent the electric company
a Starbucks gift card,
300
00:12:27,029 --> 00:12:31,048
an apology note, and a few
snapshots of me in a bra.
301
00:12:31,850 --> 00:12:33,334
(Klaxon sounds)
Power failure.
302
00:12:33,336 --> 00:12:35,535
Implementing
power-failure protocol.
303
00:12:35,537 --> 00:12:38,555
What happened to all your glow-
in-the-dark-emergency-exit stuff
304
00:12:38,557 --> 00:12:40,507
you had painted on the floor?
305
00:12:40,509 --> 00:12:42,843
Oh, that was
wildly carcinogenic.
306
00:12:42,845 --> 00:12:44,378
Anyway...
307
00:12:44,380 --> 00:12:46,180
it's too bad you're
no longer entitled
308
00:12:46,182 --> 00:12:47,931
to the full benefits
of my friendship,
309
00:12:47,933 --> 00:12:50,951
because I happen to be
extremely prepared
310
00:12:50,953 --> 00:12:52,102
for such an emergency.
311
00:12:52,104 --> 00:12:54,688
Please try not to see
anything by this light.
312
00:12:54,690 --> 00:12:56,407
It's not for you.
313
00:12:57,892 --> 00:13:00,611
It's just a blackout; I'm sure
the power will be back on soon.
314
00:13:00,613 --> 00:13:02,446
And I'm sure some fool
in the Donner party
315
00:13:02,448 --> 00:13:04,248
said the snow would
stop any day now.
316
00:13:06,067 --> 00:13:08,652
I like to think
they ate him first.
317
00:13:09,621 --> 00:13:11,455
You know, I got some candles
in my apartment.
318
00:13:11,457 --> 00:13:13,340
But candles?!
During a blackout?!
319
00:13:13,342 --> 00:13:15,075
Are you mad?
That's a fire hazard.
320
00:13:15,077 --> 00:13:15,993
No, Pasadena
321
00:13:15,995 --> 00:13:17,378
Water and Power recommends
322
00:13:17,380 --> 00:13:19,630
the far safer glow stick.
323
00:13:19,632 --> 00:13:21,849
You call that
a glow stick?
324
00:13:27,856 --> 00:13:30,357
That is a glow stick.
325
00:13:30,359 --> 00:13:32,092
Come on, let's go.
326
00:13:32,094 --> 00:13:34,061
Before you go,
consider this.
327
00:13:34,063 --> 00:13:37,531
Not only do I have a deep-cycle
marine battery power source
328
00:13:37,533 --> 00:13:38,699
which is more than capable
329
00:13:38,701 --> 00:13:40,117
of running our
entertainment system,
330
00:13:40,119 --> 00:13:41,518
I also have
331
00:13:41,520 --> 00:13:45,205
all 61 episodes
of the BBC series Red Dwarf...
332
00:13:45,207 --> 00:13:48,542
and Fiddle-Faddle.
333
00:13:48,544 --> 00:13:50,160
All yours
334
00:13:50,162 --> 00:13:52,913
if you're willing to reinstate
the Roommate Agreement.
335
00:13:52,915 --> 00:13:56,934
I've got wine at my place and
some bubble wrap we could pop.
336
00:14:01,473 --> 00:14:02,673
Oh, he'll be back.
337
00:14:02,675 --> 00:14:04,391
Wine and a girl in the dark--
338
00:14:04,393 --> 00:14:06,810
he's gonna be bored
out of his mind.
339
00:14:08,012 --> 00:14:10,347
To wine and bubble wrap.
340
00:14:10,349 --> 00:14:11,915
(popping)
341
00:14:11,917 --> 00:14:14,902
And to not having to watch
Sheldon demonstrate
342
00:14:14,904 --> 00:14:16,653
his reverse osmosis machine
343
00:14:16,655 --> 00:14:19,156
that converts urine
into drinking water.
344
00:14:21,159 --> 00:14:23,193
You know, in Girl Scouts,
Tammie Dineesha said
345
00:14:23,195 --> 00:14:25,446
you could do that
with panty hose.
346
00:14:25,448 --> 00:14:28,332
Boy, was she wrong.
347
00:14:28,334 --> 00:14:31,452
Anyway, you want
to make out?
348
00:14:31,454 --> 00:14:34,421
I thought because our
relationship's in a beta test,
349
00:14:34,423 --> 00:14:36,757
you wanted to
take things slow.
350
00:14:36,759 --> 00:14:38,058
Okay.
351
00:14:38,060 --> 00:14:40,861
Do you want to make out slow?
352
00:14:40,863 --> 00:14:45,766
I can go so slow it'll be like
there's a snail in your mouth.
353
00:14:47,335 --> 00:14:49,787
Ugh.
354
00:14:51,556 --> 00:14:54,341
Well, lucky for you, there's
nothing else to do right now.
355
00:14:56,594 --> 00:14:58,061
Excuse me, Leonard.
356
00:14:58,063 --> 00:14:59,346
Since when don't you knock?
357
00:14:59,348 --> 00:15:01,565
It's like the only
good thing about you.
358
00:15:01,567 --> 00:15:04,318
Social niceties
have been suspended, Leonard.
359
00:15:04,320 --> 00:15:05,953
We're in a state of a emergency.
360
00:15:05,955 --> 00:15:07,354
The world has
361
00:15:07,356 --> 00:15:09,122
descended into darkened turmoil.
362
00:15:09,124 --> 00:15:12,709
Lawlessness and savagery
are the order of the day.
363
00:15:12,711 --> 00:15:14,394
Fine, what is it?
364
00:15:14,396 --> 00:15:15,813
I'm making s'mores.
365
00:15:16,998 --> 00:15:18,298
I wanted to alert you
366
00:15:18,300 --> 00:15:19,699
in case you smelled
caramelizing marshmallows
367
00:15:19,701 --> 00:15:22,636
and thought a nearby
candy factory was on fire.
368
00:15:22,638 --> 00:15:24,855
S'mores, huh?
Good for you.
369
00:15:24,857 --> 00:15:27,841
Yes, or good for us
370
00:15:27,843 --> 00:15:29,059
if you sign here
371
00:15:29,061 --> 00:15:31,011
and reinstate
the full Roommate Agreement.
372
00:15:31,013 --> 00:15:32,229
No, thanks. I'm good.
373
00:15:32,231 --> 00:15:33,713
Really?
374
00:15:33,715 --> 00:15:35,349
Huh! Okay.
375
00:15:35,351 --> 00:15:38,268
In that case, I will have
a s'more by myself.
376
00:15:38,270 --> 00:15:41,355
And then I'm gonna have s'more.
377
00:15:44,943 --> 00:15:46,893
By myself.
378
00:15:46,895 --> 00:15:49,079
- Aw.
- No, don't "aw" him.
379
00:15:49,081 --> 00:15:50,614
He brought this all
on himself.
380
00:15:50,616 --> 00:15:52,282
But he's sad.
381
00:15:52,284 --> 00:15:53,200
No, he's crazy.
382
00:15:53,202 --> 00:15:54,734
Sometimes crazy
looks like sad
383
00:15:54,736 --> 00:15:57,120
so it'll suck you back in.
384
00:15:57,122 --> 00:16:00,924
I think he misses
his little buddy.
385
00:16:02,427 --> 00:16:04,545
Fine.
386
00:16:04,547 --> 00:16:06,046
But mark my words,
387
00:16:06,048 --> 00:16:09,716
this frustrating, bogus teenage
make-out session is not over.
388
00:16:09,718 --> 00:16:12,519
(popping)
389
00:16:19,060 --> 00:16:21,595
I thought you said
candles were dangerous.
390
00:16:21,597 --> 00:16:23,714
This is a Bunsen burner.
391
00:16:25,216 --> 00:16:28,402
I'm a scientist;
I know what I'm doing.
392
00:16:28,404 --> 00:16:30,604
Oh, drat.
393
00:16:34,909 --> 00:16:36,276
Aww.
394
00:16:36,278 --> 00:16:40,280
It took me a gallon of urine
to make that water.
395
00:16:43,334 --> 00:16:45,302
Listen, Sheldon, this is stupid.
396
00:16:45,304 --> 00:16:46,970
I don't see why we can't
be friends.
397
00:16:46,972 --> 00:16:48,622
And I'm willing to
drive you around
398
00:16:48,624 --> 00:16:49,956
and help you out with stuff.
399
00:16:49,958 --> 00:16:51,124
I just don't want to do it
400
00:16:51,126 --> 00:16:52,626
because of some
silly Roommate Agreement.
401
00:16:52,628 --> 00:16:54,261
What are you proposing?
402
00:16:54,263 --> 00:16:56,430
That we go back to
the way things were.
403
00:16:56,432 --> 00:16:58,348
But when I do
something for you,
404
00:16:58,350 --> 00:17:00,150
you show a little
appreciation.
405
00:17:00,152 --> 00:17:02,636
And how would I do that?
406
00:17:02,638 --> 00:17:05,322
You say "thank you."
407
00:17:05,324 --> 00:17:08,141
Every time?
408
00:17:08,143 --> 00:17:10,944
It's not crazy.
409
00:17:10,946 --> 00:17:13,330
Counter-proposal.
410
00:17:13,332 --> 00:17:15,482
We reinstate the full
Roommate Agreement
411
00:17:15,484 --> 00:17:17,150
with the following addendum:
412
00:17:17,152 --> 00:17:20,837
in the spirit of Mother's Day
or Father's Day,
413
00:17:20,839 --> 00:17:24,124
once a year, we set aside
a day to celebrate
414
00:17:24,126 --> 00:17:26,326
all your contributions
to my life,
415
00:17:26,328 --> 00:17:29,930
both actual and imagined by you.
416
00:17:31,099 --> 00:17:33,016
We could call it Leonard's Day.
417
00:17:33,018 --> 00:17:36,853
I kind of like
the sound of that.
418
00:17:36,855 --> 00:17:38,004
Of course you do.
419
00:17:38,006 --> 00:17:39,272
It's about you,
like everything else.
420
00:17:39,274 --> 00:17:42,025
Oh, thank goodness.
421
00:17:42,027 --> 00:17:45,512
I don't think I had it in me
to make another glass of water.
422
00:17:45,514 --> 00:17:48,515
So, do I get breakfast
in bed on Leonard's Day?
423
00:17:48,517 --> 00:17:49,566
No.
424
00:17:49,568 --> 00:17:50,651
Can I sit in your spot?
425
00:17:50,653 --> 00:17:51,652
No.
426
00:17:51,654 --> 00:17:53,520
Can I control the thermostat?
427
00:17:53,522 --> 00:17:54,204
No.
428
00:17:54,206 --> 00:17:55,706
Do I get a card?
429
00:17:55,708 --> 00:17:57,524
Of course you get a card.
430
00:17:58,660 --> 00:18:00,360
It's Leonard's Day.
431
00:18:01,129 --> 00:18:02,746
Hey, guys, the building
manager said
432
00:18:02,748 --> 00:18:04,297
the reason
the power went out is
433
00:18:04,299 --> 00:18:05,549
someone went
down into the basement
434
00:18:05,551 --> 00:18:07,484
and just pulled the
main breaker switch.
435
00:18:10,221 --> 00:18:12,305
Really.
436
00:18:14,041 --> 00:18:15,375
Who do you think
did that, Sheldon?
437
00:18:15,377 --> 00:18:20,147
Oh, I don't know.
438
00:18:21,265 --> 00:18:23,900
But whoever
that mystery man was,
439
00:18:23,902 --> 00:18:25,602
you should be
eternally grateful,
440
00:18:25,604 --> 00:18:29,222
for without him, there would
be no Leonard's Day.
441
00:18:29,224 --> 00:18:31,208
Leonard's Day?
442
00:18:31,210 --> 00:18:32,275
Oh, no pressure.
443
00:18:32,277 --> 00:18:34,060
Just get him a crummy card,
you're good.
444
00:18:38,586 --> 00:18:40,987
All right, test my ring tone.
445
00:18:40,989 --> 00:18:45,942
(Elton John's
"Rocket Man" plays)
446
00:18:45,944 --> 00:18:48,545
- That really is a good song.
- Oh, yeah.
447
00:18:48,547 --> 00:18:50,330
There's a reason
he's Sir Elton John.
448
00:18:50,332 --> 00:18:51,498
They don't make you a knight
449
00:18:51,500 --> 00:18:53,867
for writing "Wake Me Up
Before You Go Go."
450
00:18:55,503 --> 00:18:57,971
MRS. WOLOWITZ: Howard, are you
coming down for breakfast?!
451
00:18:57,973 --> 00:18:59,556
Ma, I told you I have
452
00:18:59,558 --> 00:19:01,091
a video conference with NASA!
453
00:19:01,093 --> 00:19:02,392
I said don't bother me!
454
00:19:02,394 --> 00:19:05,095
MRS. WOLOWITZ: Oh! Listen to
Mr. Big Shot Astronaut!
455
00:19:05,097 --> 00:19:09,465
Yes, please listen
to Mr. Big Shot Astronaut!
456
00:19:09,467 --> 00:19:11,651
(Skype rings)
457
00:19:13,154 --> 00:19:15,638
Hey, good morning.
458
00:19:15,640 --> 00:19:18,124
Hey, Howard,
thanks for getting up so early.
459
00:19:18,126 --> 00:19:20,910
No problem, Dr. Massimino.
460
00:19:20,912 --> 00:19:22,729
The guys here call me Mass.
461
00:19:22,731 --> 00:19:24,614
Mass!
That's a cool nickname.
462
00:19:24,616 --> 00:19:27,417
'Cause force equals mass
times acceleration.
463
00:19:27,419 --> 00:19:28,652
Yeah.
464
00:19:28,654 --> 00:19:31,421
It's just short
for Massimino.
465
00:19:33,207 --> 00:19:36,259
Anyway, the plan for this
morning is to go over the...
466
00:19:36,261 --> 00:19:37,677
(Elton John's
"Rocket Man" playing)
467
00:19:37,679 --> 00:19:38,795
Sorry. My phone.
468
00:19:38,797 --> 00:19:41,765
What is that?
Is that "Rocket Man"?
469
00:19:41,767 --> 00:19:43,266
Yeah, my ring tone.
470
00:19:43,268 --> 00:19:45,769
Kind of my favorite song,
"Rocket Man."
471
00:19:45,771 --> 00:19:47,270
MRS. WOLOWITZ:
Howard,
472
00:19:47,272 --> 00:19:51,124
your Fruit Loops
are getting soggy!
473
00:19:52,226 --> 00:19:53,693
Not now!
474
00:19:53,695 --> 00:19:54,978
Who's that?
475
00:19:54,980 --> 00:19:57,063
My mom. Sorry.
476
00:19:57,065 --> 00:20:00,300
No problem... Fruit Loops.
477
00:20:00,302 --> 00:20:04,302
== sync, corrected by elderman ==