1
00:00:01,891 --> 00:00:03,210
Welcome everyone.

2
00:00:03,335 --> 00:00:04,922
An happy Valentine today.

3
00:00:05,088 --> 00:00:07,967
You know, on a day like today,
it is so important to remember

4
00:00:08,133 --> 00:00:11,178
that you must love yourself
in order to truly love another.

5
00:00:11,344 --> 00:00:12,881
And it is also important

6
00:00:13,006 --> 00:00:17,685
to get a sexy eyeful of besos,
the kissing bandito!

7
00:00:17,851 --> 00:00:19,770
He is a Latin Lothario,

8
00:00:19,936 --> 00:00:23,274
here to make your Valentine's
dreams come true.

9
00:00:23,440 --> 00:00:25,581
<i>Muchas gracias,</i> besos.

10
00:00:25,706 --> 00:00:29,822
Ladies, look out!
His kiss cam may find you.

11
00:00:29,988 --> 00:00:31,962
He's bilingual, bisensual, and.

12
00:00:32,087 --> 00:00:34,160
Bye-bye shirt!

13
00:00:34,326 --> 00:00:36,245
Pick me! Pick me!

14
00:00:36,411 --> 00:00:38,831
Ooh, it's getting hot in here.

15
00:00:38,997 --> 00:00:39,832
Very sweet.

16
00:00:39,998 --> 00:00:42,710
Get in here.

17
00:00:42,876 --> 00:00:46,797
Ah, what the heck?

18
00:00:46,963 --> 00:00:48,966
Oh, besos.

19
00:00:49,132 --> 00:00:51,427
Besos!

20
00:00:51,593 --> 00:00:54,138
Oh, no, thank you.
No, thank you, no, thank you.

21
00:00:54,304 --> 00:00:55,774
No, thank you.
No, thank you!

22
00:00:55,899 --> 00:00:56,765
No, thank you!
No, thank you!

23
00:00:56,931 --> 00:00:58,100
Oh, no...

24
00:00:58,266 --> 00:00:59,351
Well, it looks like
the kissing bandito

25
00:00:59,517 --> 00:01:02,563
has found my producer,
Reagan Brinkley.

26
00:01:02,729 --> 00:01:04,106
And he's still going.

27
00:01:04,272 --> 00:01:06,817
No <i>manos,</i> besos, no <i>manos!</i>

28
00:01:06,983 --> 00:01:09,091
<i>Manos,</i> besos!
No <i>manos!</i>

29
00:01:10,023 --> 00:01:12,990
<font color="#3399FF">Sync and correction by Mlmlte</font>
<font color="#3399FF">www.addic7ed.com</font>

30
00:01:28,338 --> 00:01:30,938
Valentine's show was white-hot.

31
00:01:31,063 --> 00:01:33,093
I love bringing the sexy
to mid-morning television.

32
00:01:33,259 --> 00:01:34,912
Oh, my God, what was that guy doing?

33
00:01:35,037 --> 00:01:36,882
Ugh, God, I feel like
I spent the night

34
00:01:37,007 --> 00:01:38,265
in the wrong Barcelona disco.

35
00:01:38,431 --> 00:01:40,088
Besos comes to groove.

36
00:01:40,213 --> 00:01:42,853
He took one look at your
buttoned-up school-marm demeanor

37
00:01:43,019 --> 00:01:44,271
and he knew you needed
to be grooved on.

38
00:01:44,437 --> 00:01:45,729
You know what?
Chris is gonna lose it.

39
00:01:45,854 --> 00:01:48,901
I mean, he cannot handle me
being kissed by another man.

40
00:01:49,067 --> 00:01:50,402
Kissed?
That was a hardcore grooving.

41
00:01:50,568 --> 00:01:52,530
God, I hate Valentine's day.
It's so stupid.

44
00:01:56,950 --> 00:01:59,152
I agree.
My girlfriends and I?

45
00:01:59,277 --> 00:02:01,205
We make it about us.
We go out and dance.

46
00:02:01,371 --> 00:02:02,890
We call ourselves "the goddesses."

47
00:02:03,015 --> 00:02:04,693
We make the whole night
about female empowerment

48
00:02:04,818 --> 00:02:06,919
and who can do the most guys.
The record's one.

49
00:02:07,085 --> 00:02:08,963
Believe it or not, I am really
into Valentine's this year.

50
00:02:09,129 --> 00:02:11,340
I'm planning a special
romantic dinner for Kevin.

51
00:02:11,506 --> 00:02:13,259
Look at you.
Where are you ordering from?

52
00:02:13,425 --> 00:02:14,593
- Ava's kitchen.
- I haven't heard of that place.

53
00:02:14,759 --> 00:02:16,443
It's me.
My kitchen.

54
00:02:16,568 --> 00:02:17,845
- I'm cooking it.
- You don't cook.

55
00:02:17,970 --> 00:02:19,306
- You've never cooked.
- Not true.

56
00:02:19,472 --> 00:02:21,475
On my mom's hangover days,
I used to make her pancakes.

57
00:02:21,641 --> 00:02:22,726
I'm taking this very seriously.

58
00:02:22,892 --> 00:02:24,979
- <i>Six</i> courses.
- Yeah.

59
00:02:27,416 --> 00:02:29,149
This is fun!

60
00:02:29,315 --> 00:02:31,277
I got the immersion blender
you asked for.

61
00:02:31,443 --> 00:02:32,599
Oh, and the butcher said

62
00:02:32,724 --> 00:02:34,488
there's no such thing
as duck-fed beef.

63
00:02:34,654 --> 00:02:35,869
Change of plans, Missy.

64
00:02:35,994 --> 00:02:38,773
I am making a little
Mexican dish called <i>chili.</i>

65
00:02:38,898 --> 00:02:40,578
It's got beans in it.
And jah-lop-anos.

66
00:02:41,995 --> 00:02:43,622
Fire!
Missy, call 911!

67
00:02:43,788 --> 00:02:46,217
No, Ava, it's just the oven.
I'll get it.

68
00:02:46,342 --> 00:02:48,720
You touch my Crescent rolls,

69
00:02:48,845 --> 00:02:50,629
and I will literally
punch you in the throat.

70
00:02:50,795 --> 00:02:53,226
I am making this meal on my own.

71
00:02:53,351 --> 00:02:55,896
You can shop for me,
handle all of the raw meat,

72
00:02:56,021 --> 00:02:57,798
clean up everything before and after,

73
00:02:57,923 --> 00:02:59,263
but the rest is my thing.

74
00:02:59,429 --> 00:03:01,807
I am in love, and I want to show it

75
00:03:01,973 --> 00:03:03,809
with this spicy Mexican masterpiece.

76
00:03:03,975 --> 00:03:05,019
Is there anything else you need?

77
00:03:05,185 --> 00:03:07,855
Yes, please.
Can you get me a "bowl"?

78
00:03:08,021 --> 00:03:11,282
Green. Blue.

79
00:03:11,407 --> 00:03:13,193
So how you coming
with Amy's Valentine's

80
00:03:13,359 --> 00:03:15,254
for her little friends
and stuff? Good?

81
00:03:15,379 --> 00:03:16,405
Can I see what you're writing?

82
00:03:16,571 --> 00:03:18,925
Be right back, baby.

83
00:03:19,050 --> 00:03:20,060
Ah...

84
00:03:20,185 --> 00:03:22,930
"Dear Cooper, happy Valentine's day

85
00:03:23,055 --> 00:03:24,911
to a super-fun little guy."

86
00:03:25,036 --> 00:03:26,832
- Aww.
- Yeah, it's just tough

87
00:03:27,261 --> 00:03:29,006
'cause I want to keep it platonic,

88
00:03:29,131 --> 00:03:31,045
but I don't want Amy
to seem like a bore, you know?

89
00:03:31,211 --> 00:03:32,377
Yeah...

90
00:03:32,502 --> 00:03:34,145
Listen, honey.
I, um...

91
00:03:34,270 --> 00:03:36,467
Something sort of happened
on the show today

92
00:03:36,633 --> 00:03:38,010
that I think you need to see.

93
00:03:38,176 --> 00:03:39,845
Please, just promise me
you're not going to be upset.

94
00:03:40,011 --> 00:03:42,353
- Okay.
- Okay.

95
00:03:42,478 --> 00:03:44,350
No, thank you, no thank you.

96
00:03:44,516 --> 00:03:45,588
I'm so sorry.
No, no, no!

97
00:03:45,713 --> 00:03:46,769
My producer, Reagan Brinkley.

98
00:03:46,935 --> 00:03:48,312
I-I'm telling you,

99
00:03:48,478 --> 00:03:49,857
I did not enjoy that,
not one little bit.

100
00:03:49,982 --> 00:03:52,058
I was so incredibly embarrassed.

101
00:03:52,183 --> 00:03:53,942
I hope you brushed your teeth.

102
00:03:54,108 --> 00:03:55,061
Excuse me?

103
00:03:55,186 --> 00:03:56,395
I mean, this dude's running around

104
00:03:56,520 --> 00:03:58,197
kissing every dry,
desperate lip in the place.

105
00:03:58,363 --> 00:03:59,264
Poor guy.

106
00:03:59,389 --> 00:04:00,766
Yeah, his...
His name's besos.

107
00:04:00,891 --> 00:04:01,867
Oh? That's funny!

108
00:04:02,191 --> 00:04:04,912
He kind of made a beeline
for my mouth there...

109
00:04:05,078 --> 00:04:05,903
- Yeah.
- And stayed there

110
00:04:06,028 --> 00:04:07,331
quite a while, thank you. I...

111
00:04:07,995 --> 00:04:09,792
You know, I think
you should it watch it again,

112
00:04:09,958 --> 00:04:12,920
'cause it really... it does.
It goes on and on...

113
00:04:13,086 --> 00:04:14,675
And on and on.
No, thank you, no, thank you!

114
00:04:14,800 --> 00:04:17,077
- No, thank... no...
- Ah, he's making a buck.

115
00:04:17,202 --> 00:04:19,176
He's like a poor man's
Chippendale, this dude, huh?

116
00:04:19,342 --> 00:04:22,388
The guy's tongue hit my tooth, okay?

117
00:04:22,554 --> 00:04:25,553
You used to be so jealous.

118
00:04:25,678 --> 00:04:27,054
Well, babe, I don't know.

119
00:04:27,179 --> 00:04:29,123
I kinda feel like I sealed the deal.

120
00:04:29,248 --> 00:04:31,980
I mean, what are you gonna do?
Run off with besos?

121
00:04:32,146 --> 00:04:34,695
All right, well...
M glad you're not upset.

122
00:04:34,820 --> 00:04:37,387
Honestly, I couldn't care less, babe.

123
00:04:39,391 --> 00:04:40,700
That's great.

124
00:04:40,825 --> 00:04:42,366
Happy Valentine's day.

125
00:04:42,532 --> 00:04:45,744
Happy Valentine's day, Ava.
This looks, uh, really good.

126
00:04:45,910 --> 00:04:47,329
Thank you.

127
00:04:47,495 --> 00:04:49,665
- Mmm.
- So do you like it?

128
00:04:49,831 --> 00:04:52,879
Not that I care.
I just whipped it up.

129
00:04:53,004 --> 00:04:54,749
Whatevs.
Bought a bowl.

130
00:04:54,874 --> 00:04:56,296
Oh, it's, uh, really tasty.

131
00:04:56,462 --> 00:04:57,381
Yay!

132
00:04:57,547 --> 00:04:59,174
Here... cheese.

133
00:04:59,340 --> 00:05:01,552
Funny story, actually.

134
00:05:01,718 --> 00:05:04,888
I was slicing jah-lop-anos
and I rubbed my eye.

135
00:05:05,054 --> 00:05:06,390
It was a mess.

136
00:05:06,556 --> 00:05:09,143
Missy had to help me
douche my entire face.

137
00:05:09,309 --> 00:05:10,602
Oh, crazy.

138
00:05:13,590 --> 00:05:16,033
Kevin, are you enjoying
the meal I prepared for you,

139
00:05:16,158 --> 00:05:17,985
or should I just
go and [Bleep] Myself?

140
00:05:18,151 --> 00:05:20,904
Sorry, Ava, I just had
the worst day at work.

141
00:05:21,070 --> 00:05:23,171
We lost a big contract and
I had to let my assistant go,

142
00:05:23,296 --> 00:05:25,373
and I couldn't even
get a damn cup of coffee

143
00:05:25,498 --> 00:05:26,744
'cause we didn't have
any coffee filters.

144
00:05:26,910 --> 00:05:27,843
Well, can't you just forget about it

145
00:05:27,968 --> 00:05:29,621
and simply enjoy my beautiful meal?

146
00:05:29,787 --> 00:05:32,374
- My God, Ava, I'm trying!
- Well, try a little harder!

147
00:05:32,540 --> 00:05:34,648
I bought a spatula today!

148
00:05:34,773 --> 00:05:38,018
I pranced around that kitchen
like Doris day in my apron

149
00:05:38,143 --> 00:05:40,220
in one of those movies where
the husband is clearly gay

150
00:05:40,345 --> 00:05:42,050
and I have to pretend not to notice,

151
00:05:42,216 --> 00:05:44,636
- and this is all I get?
- I had an awful day!

152
00:05:44,802 --> 00:05:46,559
And what, am I supposed to be
moonwalking in your kitchen

153
00:05:46,684 --> 00:05:47,890
'cause you heated up some chili?

154
00:05:48,056 --> 00:05:50,517
- Look, I appreciate it, but...
- Well, not enough!

155
00:05:50,683 --> 00:05:52,269
Well, you don't care
about my problems enough!

156
00:05:52,435 --> 00:05:53,937
I made you flan!

157
00:05:54,103 --> 00:05:55,314
I hate flan!

158
00:05:55,480 --> 00:05:57,483
Everybody hates flan!

159
00:06:00,629 --> 00:06:02,004
You know what?
This is so much better

160
00:06:02,129 --> 00:06:03,671
than some crowded restaurant, right?

161
00:06:03,796 --> 00:06:05,324
- Yeah.
- And I love this place.

162
00:06:05,490 --> 00:06:06,637
I mean, you always
know what you're getting.

163
00:06:06,762 --> 00:06:08,970
It's never too spicy...

164
00:06:09,095 --> 00:06:10,538
None of the dishes...

165
00:06:10,663 --> 00:06:12,339
None of the dishes are great,
but they're all pretty good.

166
00:06:12,464 --> 00:06:14,666
Yeah, and this is
what it's all about, honey.

167
00:06:14,832 --> 00:06:18,003
No b.S. Dinners.
No stupid flowers.

168
00:06:18,169 --> 00:06:20,546
For us, every day
is Valentine's day, right?

169
00:06:20,671 --> 00:06:22,415
Aww.

170
00:06:25,642 --> 00:06:27,452
What's up, Kev?

171
00:06:27,577 --> 00:06:29,087
Ava's crazy.
She's completely nuts.

172
00:06:29,212 --> 00:06:31,517
- Is that, uh...
- Yeah, chili!

173
00:06:31,683 --> 00:06:32,768
And this is flan!

174
00:06:32,934 --> 00:06:34,019
Ooh, no one likes flan.

175
00:06:34,185 --> 00:06:36,226
We just had the biggest fight.

176
00:06:36,351 --> 00:06:37,561
Yelling, screaming.

177
00:06:37,686 --> 00:06:38,912
You know when you
care about somebody so much

178
00:06:39,037 --> 00:06:40,984
it's like every cell
in your body's on fire?

179
00:06:41,150 --> 00:06:42,131
- Yeah.
- Yeah, no, that's us.

180
00:06:42,256 --> 00:06:44,613
We are just inside, like, smoking.

181
00:06:44,779 --> 00:06:45,601
I'm sorry, guys.
You're probably

182
00:06:45,726 --> 00:06:47,699
in the middle of
a special Valentine's...

183
00:06:48,295 --> 00:06:49,243
Thing.

184
00:06:49,409 --> 00:06:50,577
Yeah...

185
00:06:50,743 --> 00:06:52,074
Reagan, I need you!
I am enraged!

186
00:06:52,199 --> 00:06:53,705
What is he doing here?

187
00:06:53,871 --> 00:06:54,748
The two of you need to talk.

188
00:06:54,914 --> 00:06:56,208
Not until I get an apology!

189
00:06:56,374 --> 00:06:58,502
For what?
Me being a frickin' human being?

190
00:06:58,668 --> 00:06:59,415
You know what?
Shhplck!

191
00:06:59,540 --> 00:07:00,462
We have a baby who's sleeping.

192
00:07:00,628 --> 00:07:01,547
Well, guess who else
is a human being.

193
00:07:02,041 --> 00:07:03,841
<i>Mo</i>and human beings
need love and attention

194
00:07:04,007 --> 00:07:04,925
just like everybody else!

195
00:07:05,091 --> 00:07:06,821
I once saw a documentary on monkeys

196
00:07:06,946 --> 00:07:08,456
who didn't get nurtured,
and all they did

197
00:07:08,581 --> 00:07:09,888
was just lay there after a while!

198
00:07:10,054 --> 00:07:11,158
I can't help it if you need the love

199
00:07:11,283 --> 00:07:12,683
and attention of, like, 48 monkeys!

200
00:07:12,849 --> 00:07:14,017
I feel like this
is getting really private.

201
00:07:14,183 --> 00:07:15,477
Guys, still...
Baby is sleeping.

202
00:07:15,643 --> 00:07:17,104
- You make me so crazy!
- You make me crazy!

203
00:07:17,723 --> 00:07:20,367
Oh, no, no, no, no!
Remember what we talked about!

204
00:07:20,492 --> 00:07:22,150
Remember, you can only
throw food in your own home!

205
00:07:22,316 --> 00:07:26,136
We've talked about this.

206
00:07:26,261 --> 00:07:28,304
I am done with this!

207
00:07:28,429 --> 00:07:30,284
Lose my 212 cell phone number!

208
00:07:30,450 --> 00:07:32,369
Lose my AOL address!

209
00:07:32,535 --> 00:07:33,709
See you later.

210
00:07:33,834 --> 00:07:35,477
Wow, I'm actually shocked
they didn't wake Amy.

211
00:07:35,602 --> 00:07:36,611
Yeah.

212
00:07:36,736 --> 00:07:38,446
I bought a measuring cup!

213
00:07:39,672 --> 00:07:41,315
Yep, there it is.

214
00:07:41,586 --> 00:07:43,817
I am so glad that we
are past all that drama.

215
00:07:44,088 --> 00:07:45,465
I mean, who wants to be
in a relationship like that?

216
00:07:45,631 --> 00:07:47,655
It's like everything
is, like, life or death.

217
00:07:47,925 --> 00:07:49,157
You know, everything
is, like, a thing.

218
00:07:49,282 --> 00:07:51,359
I know.

219
00:07:51,484 --> 00:07:53,193
You know, the great thing
about us is we still

220
00:07:53,318 --> 00:07:54,828
- have all the passion...
- Totally.

221
00:07:54,953 --> 00:07:56,226
Without all the craziness.

222
00:07:56,392 --> 00:07:58,186
Honey, do you want me
to get you some shorts?

223
00:07:58,352 --> 00:08:00,099
Oh, yeah.
Sorry about that.

224
00:08:00,224 --> 00:08:02,367
- Yeah, sure.
- No, it's okay.

225
00:08:02,492 --> 00:08:04,236
Although...

226
00:08:04,361 --> 00:08:06,738
Before I pack it all back in...

227
00:08:06,863 --> 00:08:08,030
It is Valentine's day.

228
00:08:08,196 --> 00:08:09,940
Yeah, you know what?

229
00:08:10,065 --> 00:08:11,775
Why don't you just pack it up for now

230
00:08:11,900 --> 00:08:13,493
and then maybe
we'll pull it out later?

231
00:08:13,659 --> 00:08:15,411
- Okay.
- Okay.

232
00:08:15,536 --> 00:08:16,812
- Ready to go.
- Yeah.

233
00:08:16,937 --> 00:08:18,332
Whenever.

234
00:08:19,832 --> 00:08:21,716
We did have some craziness
back in the day, though,

235
00:08:21,841 --> 00:08:23,712
- didn't we?
- Oh, yeah.

236
00:08:23,878 --> 00:08:25,619
Remember when you punched
that girl at the bar

237
00:08:25,744 --> 00:08:27,049
'cause she gave me her number?

238
00:08:28,213 --> 00:08:29,389
Yeah, she didn't think I'd do it.

239
00:08:29,514 --> 00:08:31,223
No.

240
00:08:31,348 --> 00:08:34,181
Aww, do you remember
that time that you spray-painted

241
00:08:34,347 --> 00:08:35,661
"Chris hearts Reagan"
on that overpass

242
00:08:35,786 --> 00:08:37,225
so that I would see it
on my way work?

243
00:08:37,391 --> 00:08:39,429
God, I almost broke my neck.
That was so stupid.

244
00:08:39,554 --> 00:08:40,997
- Aww, now...
- It's like I needed every guy

245
00:08:41,122 --> 00:08:43,690
on Sepulveda Boulevard
to know that you were mine.

246
00:08:43,856 --> 00:08:46,334
Yeah, and now I can
just kiss some weird guy on TV

247
00:08:46,459 --> 00:08:48,528
and you're, like, "high-five, besos!"

248
00:08:48,694 --> 00:08:51,171
You know, it's funny
that now our relationship

249
00:08:51,296 --> 00:08:53,200
is kinda like
our Chinese food, you know?

250
00:08:53,366 --> 00:08:55,375
It's tasty,
it's just not too much spice.

251
00:08:55,660 --> 00:08:58,544
No, really barely any spice.

252
00:08:58,830 --> 00:09:00,082
If you're not paying any attention,

253
00:09:00,248 --> 00:09:01,833
you'd think
there were no spice at all.

254
00:09:09,042 --> 00:09:11,519
- So should we, um...
- Yeah.

255
00:09:11,644 --> 00:09:13,345
- Yeah.
- Sure, why not?

256
00:09:13,980 --> 00:09:15,305
I can leave my shirt on, right?

257
00:09:15,471 --> 00:09:18,271
Oh, yeah, yeah, no.
Let me just pop on there.

258
00:09:19,419 --> 00:09:20,495
That was nice, honey.

259
00:09:20,620 --> 00:09:21,975
What? Yeah.

260
00:09:31,821 --> 00:09:33,991
So, about Kevin last night.

261
00:09:34,157 --> 00:09:35,784
Barging into your house like that?

262
00:09:35,950 --> 00:09:37,736
- Yeah...
- Now I'm a wreck.

263
00:09:37,861 --> 00:09:39,371
I didn't sleep at all
and I look a mess.

264
00:09:39,537 --> 00:09:40,840
- You look great.
- I know!

265
00:09:40,965 --> 00:09:44,501
But I can't believe I let myself
get so worked up over a guy.

266
00:09:44,667 --> 00:09:46,244
A guy!

267
00:09:46,369 --> 00:09:47,921
I mean, I am an independent woman

268
00:09:48,087 --> 00:09:49,448
with my own daytime talk show!

269
00:09:49,573 --> 00:09:50,590
I know.

270
00:09:50,756 --> 00:09:52,751
That man just makes my blood boil.

271
00:09:52,876 --> 00:09:53,927
Chris and I, I think, might have

272
00:09:54,093 --> 00:09:55,921
the exact opposite problem
of you two.

273
00:09:56,046 --> 00:09:57,957
I mean, I don't remember
the last time

274
00:09:58,082 --> 00:09:59,474
that he made me crazy like that.

275
00:09:59,640 --> 00:10:00,526
- Christopher?
- Yeah.

276
00:10:00,651 --> 00:10:02,310
He oozes romance.

277
00:10:02,476 --> 00:10:03,395
That man would
walk through fire for you.

278
00:10:03,561 --> 00:10:05,396
Last night, we had Pandora playing

279
00:10:05,521 --> 00:10:07,897
during our lovemaking
and he stopped twice

280
00:10:08,022 --> 00:10:10,098
- to thumbs-down Dylan songs.
- Ooh.

281
00:10:10,223 --> 00:10:11,862
- Ava, my darling!
- Julian?

282
00:10:12,028 --> 00:10:12,821
Oh, Julian.

283
00:10:13,059 --> 00:10:14,502
I heard about
your relationship problems.

284
00:10:14,627 --> 00:10:16,324
I wanted to come make sure
everything was okay.

285
00:10:16,490 --> 00:10:18,744
That was literally eight hours ago.

286
00:10:18,910 --> 00:10:21,208
- I have eyes everywhere.
- That doesn't freak me out.

287
00:10:21,333 --> 00:10:22,519
Ava!

288
00:10:22,644 --> 00:10:24,711
Let me take you to lunch
at my new supper club.

289
00:10:24,836 --> 00:10:26,712
It's called "bed." It is a metaphor,

290
00:10:26,837 --> 00:10:29,337
but don't worry,
there are actual beds.

291
00:10:29,503 --> 00:10:31,616
- Oh, boy.
- Stand by, Julian.

292
00:10:31,741 --> 00:10:33,133
Maybe this is what I need.

293
00:10:33,299 --> 00:10:34,686
A shallow, superficial relationship

294
00:10:34,811 --> 00:10:36,595
that leaves you
with no emotion whatsoever?

295
00:10:36,761 --> 00:10:37,929
Superficial?

296
00:10:38,095 --> 00:10:41,349
I love Ava for her beauty,
her clothes, and her fame!

297
00:10:41,515 --> 00:10:43,070
- That's tee things!
- Okay.

298
00:10:43,195 --> 00:10:44,019
And look at this!

299
00:10:44,185 --> 00:10:45,060
Oh, d, come on now!

300
00:10:45,185 --> 00:10:46,895
Julian, I don't think
she wants... ooh!

301
00:10:47,020 --> 00:10:48,315
It's literally skin deep.

302
00:10:48,481 --> 00:10:50,932
The Chinese symbol
for the letter "a".

303
00:10:51,057 --> 00:10:53,070
- "A".
- So an "a"?

304
00:10:53,236 --> 00:10:54,935
Yes.
Could stand for "amazing,"

305
00:10:55,060 --> 00:10:58,366
"Armenia," but most of all,
possibly, "Ava."

306
00:10:58,532 --> 00:10:59,372
"Ava."

307
00:10:59,497 --> 00:11:01,039
Scarring your body for your lover

308
00:11:01,164 --> 00:11:02,537
is the ultimate symbol of passion.

309
00:11:02,703 --> 00:11:05,278
Julian...

310
00:11:05,403 --> 00:11:06,713
That's stupid.

311
00:11:06,838 --> 00:11:10,015
No, Julian is stupid,
but you know what?

312
00:11:10,140 --> 00:11:11,750
Getting a tattoo for someone...

313
00:11:11,875 --> 00:11:13,317
I mean, that's kind of a...

314
00:11:13,442 --> 00:11:15,008
A cool, romantic gesture, right?

315
00:11:15,174 --> 00:11:16,927
I mean, if you want to
try to spice stuff up?

316
00:11:17,093 --> 00:11:18,762
It's painful,
but it's not unbearable.

317
00:11:18,928 --> 00:11:20,790
I got a dolphin
when I was in high school.

318
00:11:20,915 --> 00:11:22,257
We serve dolphin in bed.

319
00:11:22,382 --> 00:11:23,683
- Shh.
- But you know what?

320
00:11:23,849 --> 00:11:25,477
I'm gonna get a tattoo for Chris.

321
00:11:25,643 --> 00:11:27,437
- Thank you, Julian.
- Now we kiss?

322
00:11:27,603 --> 00:11:28,980
- No.
- It's okay.

323
00:11:29,146 --> 00:11:30,664
- Julian.
- Mmm?

324
00:11:30,789 --> 00:11:31,733
- You are fun.
- Mmm.

325
00:11:31,899 --> 00:11:34,194
I will go to bed with you.

326
00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:35,654
Hey, dude.

327
00:11:35,820 --> 00:11:37,336
Thought I'd bring this back to you.

328
00:11:37,461 --> 00:11:40,906
Found it in the, uh,
bushes outside our house.

329
00:11:41,031 --> 00:11:42,073
I'm embarrassed.

330
00:11:42,198 --> 00:11:43,508
I mean, in the moment,
I guess I thought

331
00:11:43,633 --> 00:11:45,997
throwing my shoe up on the roof
would make my point.

332
00:11:46,163 --> 00:11:48,166
It never does.

333
00:11:48,332 --> 00:11:49,513
She's got me so crazy, you know?

334
00:11:49,638 --> 00:11:52,683
I-I can't eat, I can't sleep.

335
00:11:52,808 --> 00:11:53,755
Oh, God.

336
00:11:53,921 --> 00:11:55,132
What is it?

337
00:11:55,298 --> 00:11:57,555
I forgot to allow for
the lattice variation... damn it!

338
00:11:57,680 --> 00:11:59,845
Oh, man, that's such
a rookie, right...

339
00:12:00,011 --> 00:12:00,892
Mistake...?

340
00:12:01,017 --> 00:12:02,293
Can you hand me the hog-ring pliers?

341
00:12:02,418 --> 00:12:05,664
Yeah, sure!
The, uh, hoggers.

342
00:12:05,789 --> 00:12:08,999
Hey, you know, um, dude,
I know that, you know,

343
00:12:09,124 --> 00:12:10,701
this sort of
early relationship craziness

344
00:12:10,826 --> 00:12:12,566
that you're going through
right now is kind of awful,

345
00:12:12,732 --> 00:12:13,567
but it's... it's also
kind of awesome, you know.

346
00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:14,818
To be honest, I...

347
00:12:14,984 --> 00:12:17,195
- Really kind of miss it.
- I said hog ring.

348
00:12:17,361 --> 00:12:19,156
"Hog ring".
Yeah.

349
00:12:19,322 --> 00:12:21,111
I-I love Ava.

350
00:12:21,236 --> 00:12:22,712
It's just that...

351
00:12:22,837 --> 00:12:24,180
I-I don't know if I can
do this, you know?

352
00:12:24,305 --> 00:12:26,449
Everything's what she wants,
what she needs.

353
00:12:26,574 --> 00:12:29,583
S-she's incapable of meeting me
halfway, you know?

354
00:12:30,210 --> 00:12:32,252
Thanks, man.
You know, I just...

355
00:12:32,418 --> 00:12:35,338
Feel like I...
I don't know, I'd rather have

356
00:12:35,504 --> 00:12:36,623
what you and Reagan have, you know?

357
00:12:36,748 --> 00:12:38,858
Something solid and comfortable.

358
00:12:38,983 --> 00:12:42,928
Yeah, although I gotta say,
I wish sometimes that I would

359
00:12:43,053 --> 00:12:45,223
do something crazy
like throw a shoe or...

360
00:12:49,143 --> 00:12:51,062
Can I borrow this spray paint?

361
00:12:52,691 --> 00:12:55,942
Yeah, this is it.

362
00:13:00,321 --> 00:13:02,107
I bet you noticed
the spray paint, huh?

363
00:13:02,232 --> 00:13:03,950
Probably wondering,
"what's this mystery guy up to?

364
00:13:04,116 --> 00:13:06,877
"Something illegal?
Is he a tagger?

365
00:13:07,002 --> 00:13:09,546
"Is he anonymous
street artist Banksy?

366
00:13:09,671 --> 00:13:10,747
"Is willing to go to jail

367
00:13:10,872 --> 00:13:12,751
just to express
his love through graffitus..."

368
00:13:12,917 --> 00:13:15,253
Graffito...
Graffiti... whatever.

369
00:13:15,419 --> 00:13:17,787
I'll just take $2 back, please.

370
00:13:17,912 --> 00:13:19,549
Or a dollar's... fine.

371
00:13:19,715 --> 00:13:21,176
Thank you.

372
00:13:29,353 --> 00:13:30,863
So does the hep c
come with the tattoo

373
00:13:30,988 --> 00:13:32,437
or do you have to pay extra for that?

374
00:13:34,063 --> 00:13:35,167
Because...

375
00:13:35,292 --> 00:13:37,525
You can get hep c from a tattoo.

376
00:13:38,995 --> 00:13:41,972
I'm just...
I'm getting my husband's name

377
00:13:42,097 --> 00:13:44,157
inked on my bootay.

378
00:13:45,199 --> 00:13:49,110
Yeah, here we are,
just four edgy ladies

379
00:13:49,235 --> 00:13:50,705
getting our tattoo on.

380
00:13:50,871 --> 00:13:52,040
Okay, who's next?

381
00:13:52,206 --> 00:13:54,047
That's me.

382
00:13:54,172 --> 00:13:55,815
Fresh ink.

383
00:13:55,940 --> 00:13:57,963
Dead man walking.

384
00:13:58,129 --> 00:14:00,298
Look at me, getting inked!

385
00:14:00,464 --> 00:14:01,586
I don't want to
blow your mind or anything,

386
00:14:01,711 --> 00:14:05,091
but, uh, I am over 30.

387
00:14:05,216 --> 00:14:06,526
Yeah, I know.

388
00:14:06,651 --> 00:14:09,182
I know!
I know.

389
00:14:09,348 --> 00:14:12,533
It's just, like, genetic, I'm sure.

390
00:14:12,658 --> 00:14:14,235
Another thing that you
might want to hold on

391
00:14:14,360 --> 00:14:18,004
to your ear hoops
over there, but, uh...

392
00:14:18,129 --> 00:14:19,609
I have a baby.
I do.

393
00:14:19,997 --> 00:14:22,998
Yeah, you heard me.
I do.

394
00:14:26,202 --> 00:14:28,446
You ever have one of
those moments when you, like,

395
00:14:28,571 --> 00:14:31,682
leave your body for a second
and looking down on yourself

396
00:14:31,807 --> 00:14:35,834
And, what you see there is super-tragic?

397
00:14:37,712 --> 00:14:39,088
Yeah, you know what?

398
00:14:39,213 --> 00:14:43,459
I'm not gonna do this tattoo today.

399
00:14:43,584 --> 00:14:45,260
Maybe tomorrow?
I just, uh...

400
00:14:45,426 --> 00:14:47,430
I forget I, um,
am late for a pap smear,

401
00:14:47,555 --> 00:14:49,131
so thank you very much.

402
00:14:49,256 --> 00:14:51,182
Take care.
Keep the deposit.

403
00:15:06,947 --> 00:15:10,250
Yeah, this is totally gonna work.

404
00:15:10,375 --> 00:15:13,997
Ah,!

405
00:15:21,128 --> 00:15:22,683
'sup?

406
00:15:25,622 --> 00:15:27,737
This is an interesting place.

407
00:15:27,862 --> 00:15:29,463
I can't tell if it's great or awful.

408
00:15:29,588 --> 00:15:31,274
Thank you.
I wanted to create

409
00:15:31,399 --> 00:15:34,645
an eating experience that was
based totally on comfort.

410
00:15:34,770 --> 00:15:36,853
- Please.
- Oh.

411
00:15:37,019 --> 00:15:38,616
Oh!... kay.

412
00:15:38,741 --> 00:15:40,417
Whoops.
Waterbed.

413
00:15:40,542 --> 00:15:42,317
Come.

414
00:15:42,483 --> 00:15:44,402
- Sorry.
- No problem.

415
00:15:48,416 --> 00:15:49,992
- It's for VIPs.
- Sure.

416
00:15:50,117 --> 00:15:52,077
And it's filled with vodka, hmm?

417
00:15:52,243 --> 00:15:53,661
- Is that I smell?
- Yes.

418
00:15:53,827 --> 00:15:55,872
But enough about other topics.
Let's talk more about you.

419
00:15:56,038 --> 00:15:58,583
Your TV show,
your boobies, your mind.

420
00:15:59,826 --> 00:16:01,544
- Oh, what's this?
- Italian Sushi.

421
00:16:01,710 --> 00:16:04,589
It's like Japanese Sushi instead
with Italian ingredients.

422
00:16:04,755 --> 00:16:06,675
- Oh.
- Mmm.

423
00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:08,510
- Ah?
- Mmm... uhh.

424
00:16:08,676 --> 00:16:11,513
To be the food
going down your food tube.

425
00:16:11,679 --> 00:16:12,445
What?

426
00:16:12,570 --> 00:16:13,579
You have such an instinct

427
00:16:13,704 --> 00:16:14,766
for the finer things in life.

428
00:16:14,932 --> 00:16:16,781
The way you dress, the car you drive,

429
00:16:16,906 --> 00:16:18,395
even your classic French timepiece.

430
00:16:18,561 --> 00:16:20,484
- It's a Piaget.
- Ah, yes.

431
00:16:20,609 --> 00:16:24,721
Julian, I'm sorry, we've been
talking about me for an hour.

432
00:16:24,846 --> 00:16:26,403
I'm bored. Can we
talk about something else?

433
00:16:26,569 --> 00:16:28,655
Understood.
I'm not a man to be told twice.

434
00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:30,198
Thank you.

435
00:16:30,364 --> 00:16:32,367
You have the most beautiful
freckle right there.

436
00:16:32,533 --> 00:16:34,195
And here.

437
00:16:34,320 --> 00:16:36,371
- And here, and here.
- Okay.

438
00:16:36,537 --> 00:16:37,829
You're a freckle face.

439
00:16:37,954 --> 00:16:39,457
Okay, Julian.
You know what?

440
00:16:39,623 --> 00:16:41,563
You've actually cleared
something up for me.

441
00:16:41,688 --> 00:16:43,044
- Okay.
- I gotta go.

442
00:16:43,210 --> 00:16:44,170
- Gotta go?
- Yeah.

443
00:16:44,336 --> 00:16:45,299
- But...
- I just...

444
00:16:45,424 --> 00:16:46,423
Why you gonna go?

445
00:16:46,589 --> 00:16:48,466
- I can't get...
- Okay, wait, I do this.

446
00:16:48,632 --> 00:16:49,801
- Hold on.
- I'm dynamite!

447
00:16:49,967 --> 00:16:51,672
All right, there we go.

448
00:16:51,797 --> 00:16:53,373
- Yep.
- Thank you.

449
00:16:53,498 --> 00:16:56,224
I'll just see my way out.

450
00:16:56,390 --> 00:16:58,675
Honey, you okay?

451
00:16:58,800 --> 00:17:00,603
- Yeah.
- What's go...

452
00:17:01,979 --> 00:17:03,273
This is the overpass, isn't it?

453
00:17:03,439 --> 00:17:05,108
, my God.

454
00:17:05,274 --> 00:17:06,901
Did you spray-paint my name again?

455
00:17:07,067 --> 00:17:08,736
- Nope. I mean...
- No?

456
00:17:08,902 --> 00:17:10,850
That was the idea, but then...

457
00:17:10,975 --> 00:17:13,324
God, this thing's more steeper
than I remember it being.

458
00:17:13,490 --> 00:17:15,758
Ten years ago, I had so much
agility, babe, and resolve.

459
00:17:15,883 --> 00:17:17,829
I would've got it done, but now...

460
00:17:17,995 --> 00:17:20,128
Yeah, well,
if it was ten years ago I...

461
00:17:20,253 --> 00:17:22,163
I would've been sporting
a big ol' "Chris" tattoo

462
00:17:22,288 --> 00:17:23,209
on my rump.

463
00:17:23,375 --> 00:17:24,932
Aww.

464
00:17:25,057 --> 00:17:26,337
- Yeah.
- Next to the dolphin?

465
00:17:26,503 --> 00:17:28,368
I was gonna have
the dolphin jumping over him

466
00:17:28,493 --> 00:17:30,300
and then splashing all happy.

467
00:17:30,466 --> 00:17:33,439
Oh, well, it doesn't matter.

468
00:17:33,564 --> 00:17:35,263
I guess that kind of stuff's
a thing of the past, huh?

469
00:17:35,429 --> 00:17:37,348
Yeah.

470
00:17:37,514 --> 00:17:39,344
You know what?
We should probably pick up

471
00:17:39,469 --> 00:17:41,813
- some cash for the sitter.
- Uh, I think they have...

472
00:17:41,938 --> 00:17:43,396
Yeah, they have
an ATM right over there.

473
00:17:43,562 --> 00:17:45,565
Aw, that's one of those ones
that charges, like, three bucks.

474
00:17:45,731 --> 00:17:48,352
Oh, come on honey, please.
Can we not be cheap right now?

475
00:17:48,477 --> 00:17:49,611
All right, hop out.

476
00:17:50,679 --> 00:17:52,123
What? Why me?

477
00:17:52,248 --> 00:17:53,391
It's raining right now,

478
00:17:53,516 --> 00:17:54,825
and my hair looks really good today,

479
00:17:54,950 --> 00:17:56,994
so no, I'm not hopping out.
You hop out.

480
00:17:57,119 --> 00:17:58,529
Well, I just slid down a wall for...

481
00:17:58,654 --> 00:17:59,996
Fine, yeah, okay.
I'll hop out.

482
00:18:00,162 --> 00:18:02,300
No, no, I mean...
I mean, I just almost

483
00:18:02,425 --> 00:18:03,734
permanently scarred my body for you.

484
00:18:03,859 --> 00:18:04,869
But no, I'll hop out.

485
00:18:04,994 --> 00:18:06,404
No, babe, I'll do it.

486
00:18:06,529 --> 00:18:07,905
No, I'm hopping out.
Hopping out.

487
00:18:08,030 --> 00:18:09,380
Gonna ruin my hair.

488
00:18:09,546 --> 00:18:12,050
I'm hopping out.

489
00:18:12,216 --> 00:18:13,310
- ♪ How could you ♪
- Hey!

490
00:18:13,435 --> 00:18:14,711
- ♪ Just walk away from me ♪
- What?

491
00:18:14,836 --> 00:18:16,579
Don't you walk away from me!
God, I hate that song.

492
00:18:16,704 --> 00:18:17,580
- What?
- No, listen,

493
00:18:17,705 --> 00:18:18,714
I'm gonna get the cash.

494
00:18:18,839 --> 00:18:19,914
No, I'm getting the cash.

495
00:18:20,039 --> 00:18:21,248
I'm not gonna have you
lord this over me.

496
00:18:21,373 --> 00:18:22,316
Okay, you know what?

497
00:18:22,441 --> 00:18:23,483
My blow-dry's ruined!

498
00:18:23,608 --> 00:18:24,885
Yeah, and this is
my favorite jets cap,

499
00:18:25,010 --> 00:18:25,897
and it's not gonna fit after this,

500
00:18:26,063 --> 00:18:27,398
but you don't hear me complaining.

501
00:18:27,564 --> 00:18:29,275
You know what?
The jets suck, okay?

502
00:18:29,441 --> 00:18:31,319
Rex Ryan is turning them around!

503
00:18:31,485 --> 00:18:32,362
Oh, you're a fool.

504
00:18:32,528 --> 00:18:34,739
- You know what?
- What?

505
00:18:37,319 --> 00:18:41,564
♪ I wish I could just
make you turn around ♪

506
00:18:41,689 --> 00:18:45,291
♪ turn around and see me cry ♪

507
00:18:45,457 --> 00:18:48,878
♪ there's so much
I need to say to you ♪

508
00:18:49,044 --> 00:18:50,463
Hey.

509
00:18:50,629 --> 00:18:52,340
Oh, I love your portable office.

510
00:18:52,465 --> 00:18:56,377
Uh, sorry about last night.
I really spun out.

511
00:18:56,502 --> 00:18:58,045
Me too.

512
00:18:58,170 --> 00:18:59,347
I've never felt so out of control.

513
00:18:59,738 --> 00:19:01,057
I went home and had a Guinness

514
00:19:01,223 --> 00:19:02,849
and ordered 3,000 feet
of coated chain link

515
00:19:02,974 --> 00:19:05,353
and no tension bands.

516
00:19:05,519 --> 00:19:06,618
If you had any idea about fencing,

517
00:19:06,743 --> 00:19:08,731
you'd know that
that is certifiably insane.

518
00:19:08,897 --> 00:19:10,608
Sounds like you
need some tension bands.

519
00:19:10,774 --> 00:19:12,193
Exactly.

520
00:19:12,359 --> 00:19:13,825
Kevin...

521
00:19:13,950 --> 00:19:17,594
I can't solve your problems,
but I can listen.

522
00:19:17,719 --> 00:19:20,535
And bring you some of these.

523
00:19:20,701 --> 00:19:22,412
Should we make some coffee?

524
00:19:22,578 --> 00:19:25,667
Sure.

525
00:19:25,792 --> 00:19:29,837
♪ There's nothing
left here to remind me ♪

526
00:19:29,962 --> 00:19:32,755
♪ just the memory of your face ♪

527
00:19:32,921 --> 00:19:34,799
♪ now take a look at me now ♪

528
00:19:34,965 --> 00:19:38,094
Filter goes here.

529
00:19:38,260 --> 00:19:40,388
I knew that.

530
00:19:40,554 --> 00:19:42,223
♪ There's just an empty space ♪

531
00:19:42,389 --> 00:19:44,642
♪ but to wait for you ♪

532
00:19:44,808 --> 00:19:46,584
♪ is all I can do ♪

533
00:19:46,709 --> 00:19:49,353
♪ and that's what
I've got to face ♪

534
00:19:49,478 --> 00:19:52,522
♪ take a good look at me now ♪

535
00:19:52,647 --> 00:19:53,889
Now <i>this</i> is passionate.

536
00:19:54,014 --> 00:19:58,323
Yeah, even this rain
couldn't put our fire out.

537
00:19:58,489 --> 00:19:59,726
- God, I'm sorry, that was so...
- No, no, no, I liked it.

538
00:19:59,851 --> 00:20:01,627
I liked it.
I liked it.

539
00:20:01,752 --> 00:20:03,262
All right! All right!

540
00:20:03,387 --> 00:20:04,896
All right!
We hear you!

541
00:20:05,021 --> 00:20:07,498
Jeez, don't be a hater!

542
00:20:07,623 --> 00:20:10,001
- Mmm, I love you.
- I love you.

543
00:20:10,167 --> 00:20:11,804
Hey, guess what, buddy.

544
00:20:11,929 --> 00:20:13,172
- I can do this all day!
- Yeah.

545
00:20:13,297 --> 00:20:16,966
- You honk away!
- Hey- we got all day, man.

546
00:20:22,038 --> 00:20:23,306
Wait, that's how you tag?

547
00:20:23,472 --> 00:20:24,134
What?
What's wrong with it?

548
00:20:24,259 --> 00:20:26,017
Just big, boring letters like that?

549
00:20:26,183 --> 00:20:28,061
- That's not how you tag.
- Okay, stop saying "tag."

550
00:20:28,227 --> 00:20:30,396
I'm just saying that there is
artistic interpretation. Banksy...

551
00:20:30,562 --> 00:20:31,673
Okay, don't say "Banksy," honey.

552
00:20:31,798 --> 00:20:34,651
Banksy, Banksy, Banksy, Banksy...

553
00:20:34,817 --> 00:20:35,863
- Mmm.
- Mmm!

554
00:20:37,768 --> 00:20:38,769
Hey.

555
00:20:41,174 --> 00:20:42,664
- Hi, officer.
- Hey, hi.

556
00:20:42,789 --> 00:20:45,842
Sorry, we're just
a couple of adults here.

557
00:20:45,967 --> 00:20:47,150
Mm-hmm.
Just came to make out.

558
00:20:47,275 --> 00:20:48,122
Yep.

559
00:20:49,010 --> 00:20:50,306
Is this illegal now?

560
00:20:51,347 --> 00:20:53,758
Didn't know you
couldn't make out anymore.

561
00:20:53,883 --> 00:20:55,117
We have a baby too,

562
00:20:55,242 --> 00:20:56,422
- so it's not even, like, x-rated.
- We'll go.

563
00:20:56,588 --> 00:20:57,422
We'll take off.

564
00:20:57,547 --> 00:20:58,758
- Excuse us.
- Great point.

565
00:20:58,924 --> 00:21:01,761
<font color="#3399FF">Sync and correction by Mlmlte</font>
<font color="#3399FF">www.addic7ed.com</font>

