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<font color="#3399FF">Sync and correction by Mlmlte</font>
<font color="#3399FF">www.addic7ed.com</font>

2
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♪ Good morning, USA!

3
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♪ I got a feeling that it's
gonna be a wonderful day ♪

4
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♪ The sun in the sky
has a smile on his face ♪

5
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♪ And he's shining a salute
to the American race ♪

6
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♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say

7
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♪ Good...
♪ Good morning, USA

8
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Aah!

9
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♪ Good morning, USA!

10
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LORRAINE:
Do you have any leads?

11
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Fly Girl's been missing
for five days now.

12
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Look, there's something you
should know about your bird...

13
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(stomach gurgles)

14
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Oh, no.

15
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I just got a clue in the case of

16
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whether or not that new Thai
restaurant gives you the runs.

17
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It does. Case closed!

18
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Teddy Bonkers, bathroom key, stat.

19
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(door closes)

20
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You see, Lorraine, your bird is...

21
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How... how do I put this?

22
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Please find her.

23
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(sobbing)

24
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No, no, no, no, don't-don't cry.

25
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We, uh, we'll keep looking, okay?

26
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I know we'll find her.

27
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Thank you, Mr. Wheels.

28
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Out of TP in there, Bonkers,
so I had to use

29
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the corner of your Ferrari poster.

30
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Man, that Lorraine is a cold bitch.

31
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Grinning after you told her
her bird was de...

32
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You didn't tell her, did you?

33
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She was so upset,
I just couldn't break it to her.

34
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You think this fake detective
agency with real cases

35
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and a pretend office in
your father's garage is a joke?!

36
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I just hate upsetting people.

37
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Breaking bad news is
part of the job, Wheels.

38
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It's a part of life.
You got to do it.

39
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That's why I volunteer at
the cancer ward every Sunday.

40
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You're all going to die.

41
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Your parents and your doctors
are lying to you.

44
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Could stick my whole fist in there.

45
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No, that's not
what she said, Bonkers.

46
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(chuckles)

47
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Bonkers.

48
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Oh, look at that bunny in the loafer!

49
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Are you a bunny in a loafer?

50
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You are, aren't you?

51
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Oh! That turtle has
a hamster on his back.

52
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Let me see this.

53
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Ugly. Ugly.

54
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The walls of my anus
are cuter than that panda.

55
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Take my picture.

56
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I can get on this site.

57
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Hey, so, what's going on in here?

58
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Not much.

59
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How's your big
three-day weekend going?

60
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Good. Good.
Exciting.

61
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Exc... Too exciting.
Had to take a break.

62
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Not a young man.

63
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So, you guys, you guys are
doing something with Klaus, huh?

64
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We're gonna take pictures of
him to submit to Cute Pet Pics.

65
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Want to help?

66
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Guess I'll go try on hats
in the garage.

67
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(high-pitched):
Extry, extry, read all about it.

68
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MAN: My grandfather
always claimed

69
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I would inherit a secret fortune.

70
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But when he died, all he left me

71
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was this one mysterious key.

72
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I don't have any money
to pay you, but if you find out

73
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what this key opens, you can
have half of whatever's inside.

74
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Wow, that sounds like a fun journey.

75
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(quietly):
Here's your chance to give some bad news.

76
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Tell this kid to hit the bricks.

77
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Listen, you look like
a nice kid and all,

78
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but we're not gonna be able to...

79
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... take our eyes off your sweater.

80
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(chuckles)

81
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Is it soft?

82
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Can I wear it without
a T-shirt under it,

83
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you know, how black guys
sometimes wear sweaters?

84
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Fail!

85
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Beat it, Sweet Charity;
we're not taking your case.

86
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Please. This key is
my grandfather's legacy.

87
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Uhp, "legacy."

88
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Fine, we'll take the case.

89
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You're lucky you said a word
with "leg" in it.

90
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It's my only weakness.

91
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That's how I got this
Foghorn Leghorn key chain

92
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and this bag of legumes.

93
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Teddy Bonkers will
validate your parking.

94
00:04:00,694 --> 00:04:03,243
Steve, why can't you ever
give anyone bad news?

95
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I just hate making people sad.

96
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You're a pushover, but I don't
have time to discuss it,

97
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because I have to
push out some green curry.

98
00:04:10,337 --> 00:04:12,415
Yes, I tried the Thai restaurant again.

99
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It's called giving a place
a second chance,

100
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and it burns like hell.

101
00:04:19,246 --> 00:04:21,824
So this, uh,
detective stuff looks fun.

102
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Can I play?

103
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Um, maybe, Dad,

104
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but I'm not sure you
understand what we do here.

105
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No, no, I get it.

106
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It's part pretend, part real,
fake detectives, real cases,

107
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you're in a wheelchair, Roger
can walk... w-what's not to get?

108
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Tell you what, I'll run it by
The Legman, see what he says.

109
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Good. And I'll run to the store
and get some lemons.

110
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So we'll both...
be... doing something.

111
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(music playing over radio)

112
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(scatting along to music)

113
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♪ B-B-B-Brawny.

114
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(makes engine noises)

115
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(horn honks)

116
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Come on, buddy!

117
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Light's not getting any greener!

118
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(cell phone ringing)

119
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What up, Wheels?

120
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Ooh, hold on,
hottie in the next lane.

121
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Nope, baby seat, I'm out.
What do you got?

122
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STEVE: Well, my Dad asked me
if he could join the agency, so...

123
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Nope. We don't need a new employee.

124
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Oh, my God, traffic just
came to a freakin' standstill.

125
00:05:41,395 --> 00:05:42,371
But he...

126
00:05:42,496 --> 00:05:44,006
Listen, Wheels,
for once in your life,

127
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break some bad news and tell your dad

128
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he can't join the agency.

129
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(horn honks)

130
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FRANCINE:
Roger, stop playing with the car!

131
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(horn honks)

132
00:05:55,576 --> 00:05:59,317
Oh, yeah, forgot it was Sean's
birthday party at Bar Fudge.

133
00:05:59,483 --> 00:06:00,556
Was it packed?

134
00:06:00,681 --> 00:06:01,924
(laughs):
I'm kidding.

135
00:06:02,049 --> 00:06:04,160
I'm just giving you the
business, Teddy Drunkers.

136
00:06:04,285 --> 00:06:05,995
W-We'll try to give you
a nice easy morning.

137
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Any calls?

138
00:06:07,254 --> 00:06:08,159
What is this?

139
00:06:08,325 --> 00:06:10,332
Um, Legman,

140
00:06:10,457 --> 00:06:14,082
meet our newest employee,
Pappa Wheelie.

141
00:06:14,248 --> 00:06:15,667
What? I thought I said...

142
00:06:15,833 --> 00:06:19,108
I'm so happy you guys let me in.

143
00:06:19,233 --> 00:06:20,733
I'm going to Fudge.

144
00:06:23,299 --> 00:06:25,038
♪

145
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I needed this.

146
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I was having a terrible day at work.

147
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I want you.

148
00:06:34,214 --> 00:06:35,645
Can we get out of here?

149
00:06:35,811 --> 00:06:36,625
What? No.

150
00:06:36,750 --> 00:06:38,585
Let's just keep dancing.

151
00:06:49,658 --> 00:06:52,736
Wheels, may I speak with you?

152
00:06:52,861 --> 00:06:55,322
Pappa Wheelie, why don't you
go fill out your HR forms.

153
00:06:55,447 --> 00:06:56,750
Teddy Bonkers will help you.

154
00:06:56,916 --> 00:06:57,876
Th-The teddy bear?

155
00:06:58,042 --> 00:06:59,009
Teddy bear?!

156
00:06:59,134 --> 00:07:01,212
His name is Theodore Bonkers.

157
00:07:01,337 --> 00:07:02,713
He's not the smartest guy,

158
00:07:02,838 --> 00:07:04,682
but he tries harder than
anyone I've ever met.

159
00:07:04,807 --> 00:07:06,150
And I've met Ed Burns.

160
00:07:06,275 --> 00:07:07,302
Go talk to him.

161
00:07:08,385 --> 00:07:09,677
Just go with it.

162
00:07:13,666 --> 00:07:14,934
What the hell, Wheels?!

163
00:07:15,184 --> 00:07:17,562
He was so excited,
I couldn't let him down.

164
00:07:17,728 --> 00:07:21,315
Uh, it-it says,
"list previous work experience

165
00:07:21,440 --> 00:07:23,551
or draw a picture of a cowboy."

166
00:07:23,676 --> 00:07:26,053
I can't draw a cowboy;
is a pirate acceptable?

167
00:07:26,178 --> 00:07:27,405
Yes.

168
00:07:30,215 --> 00:07:32,459
Well, I tried this
thing in every lock

169
00:07:32,584 --> 00:07:33,627
in the old man's house.

170
00:07:33,752 --> 00:07:34,695
This opens nothing.

171
00:07:34,820 --> 00:07:35,996
Listen, Wheels.

172
00:07:36,121 --> 00:07:38,799
The grandfather may have
left a clue in this piano.

173
00:07:38,924 --> 00:07:39,967
Why's that, Legman?

174
00:07:40,092 --> 00:07:41,819
'Cause it's out of key.

175
00:07:41,944 --> 00:07:43,487
(both laugh)

176
00:07:43,612 --> 00:07:45,756
A clue would have been grand.

177
00:07:45,881 --> 00:07:47,107
(both laugh)

178
00:07:47,232 --> 00:07:48,826
In the sand!

179
00:07:48,951 --> 00:07:50,477
You made me stop laughing.

180
00:07:50,602 --> 00:07:52,880
Well, at least
you're good for something.

181
00:07:53,005 --> 00:07:53,932
What is this?!

182
00:07:54,098 --> 00:07:55,683
It's coffee.

183
00:07:55,808 --> 00:07:57,952
I only drink flaming Grand Marnier!

184
00:07:58,077 --> 00:07:59,286
I'm-I'm sorry.
I didn't know.

185
00:07:59,411 --> 00:08:00,604
Bonkers said to bring coffee.

186
00:08:00,729 --> 00:08:01,989
You're a liability!

187
00:08:02,114 --> 00:08:03,490
You know what your problem is?

188
00:08:03,615 --> 00:08:05,393
Pappa Wheelie
doesn't have a backstory.

189
00:08:05,518 --> 00:08:07,070
All right, all you have is a prop.

190
00:08:07,336 --> 00:08:09,179
How did you end up on that unicycle?

191
00:08:09,304 --> 00:08:11,081
Are you a hipster,
are you a Frenchman,

192
00:08:11,206 --> 00:08:13,017
were you raised by
a Russian circus bear?

193
00:08:13,142 --> 00:08:14,068
You don't know!

194
00:08:14,193 --> 00:08:15,552
You just woke up one morning

195
00:08:15,677 --> 00:08:17,372
and saw a unicycle, you stupid hack.

196
00:08:17,613 --> 00:08:19,523
I don't know about you,
but this case has put me

197
00:08:19,648 --> 00:08:20,791
in the mood for some cocaine.

198
00:08:20,916 --> 00:08:22,259
(laughs)
I-I get that joke.

199
00:08:22,384 --> 00:08:24,528
'Cause cocaine comes in keys, right?

200
00:08:24,653 --> 00:08:26,680
The Legman doesn't
joke about cocaine.

201
00:08:26,805 --> 00:08:29,300
Cocaine is not a joking matter.

202
00:08:31,143 --> 00:08:33,621
We'll just stay loose,
we'll get some great shots,

203
00:08:33,746 --> 00:08:36,307
and we'll get you on that
pet pics Web site, no sweat.

204
00:08:36,539 --> 00:08:39,144
Ooh! It's going to be so cute.

205
00:08:39,518 --> 00:08:40,812
♪

206
00:08:53,682 --> 00:08:56,393
Hello. I'm Legman and
this is my partner Wheels,

207
00:08:56,518 --> 00:08:58,529
and I am drinking my signature drink.

208
00:08:58,654 --> 00:09:00,965
We were ransacking
a dead man's house and we found

209
00:09:01,090 --> 00:09:03,701
a monthly bill for a P.O. box
at this location, see.

210
00:09:03,826 --> 00:09:05,703
We think this might be
the key for it.

211
00:09:05,828 --> 00:09:07,621
This key doesn't
unlock anything here.

212
00:09:07,746 --> 00:09:09,089
But I know what it does unlock.

213
00:09:09,214 --> 00:09:10,291
It unlocks...

214
00:09:10,416 --> 00:09:11,458
Man, don't you hate it

215
00:09:11,583 --> 00:09:13,011
when ugly people run mailbox stores?

216
00:09:13,177 --> 00:09:15,296
- What?
- Pappa Wheelie, the smart-mouthed

217
00:09:15,421 --> 00:09:17,381
junior associate to
Wheels and The Legman.

218
00:09:17,506 --> 00:09:20,084
I get away with saying things
that other people can't.

219
00:09:20,209 --> 00:09:21,644
Seriously, dude, your face is a mess.

220
00:09:21,810 --> 00:09:23,087
(gasps)

221
00:09:23,212 --> 00:09:24,688
Pappa Wheelie, stop it!

222
00:09:24,813 --> 00:09:26,023
Can't, it's my character.

223
00:09:26,148 --> 00:09:28,258
My looks are
a sensitive subject for me!

224
00:09:28,383 --> 00:09:30,077
Get out, all of you!

225
00:09:30,202 --> 00:09:32,229
W-Wait... tell us what the key is for.

226
00:09:32,354 --> 00:09:34,157
I work at a store called Mailboxes,

227
00:09:34,323 --> 00:09:36,567
not at a store called
"I help people who hurt me."

228
00:09:36,692 --> 00:09:38,035
That store is down the block.

229
00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:39,436
It is amazing.

230
00:09:39,561 --> 00:09:43,124
I wanted to work there,
but they told me I was too ugly.

231
00:09:43,398 --> 00:09:45,693
You said to get a
backstory and I got one.

232
00:09:45,818 --> 00:09:47,861
My grandfather invented the packaging

233
00:09:47,986 --> 00:09:50,748
around discs of bologna, and
I have beaucoup family money,

234
00:09:50,873 --> 00:09:52,132
but I refuse it because...

235
00:09:52,257 --> 00:09:53,267
He's suck.

236
00:09:53,392 --> 00:09:54,268
He's suck incarnate.

237
00:09:54,393 --> 00:09:55,178
Fire him!

238
00:09:55,344 --> 00:09:57,304
You want me to fire my own dad?

239
00:09:57,429 --> 00:09:58,765
B-But he loves it here.

240
00:09:59,031 --> 00:10:00,524
You brought him in, you get him out.

241
00:10:00,649 --> 00:10:03,043
Before he takes a big Yoko
all over this place.

242
00:10:03,168 --> 00:10:05,188
Fire him or this partnership is over.

243
00:10:08,399 --> 00:10:10,317
So we agree,
if a waiter drops something,

244
00:10:10,442 --> 00:10:12,653
we're gonna say "nice job" and clap.

245
00:10:12,778 --> 00:10:14,588
Um, sure, okay.

246
00:10:14,713 --> 00:10:16,290
Yeah, we're gonna say that.

247
00:10:16,415 --> 00:10:19,619
So, Dad, the reason I brought
you here is-is to let you know,

248
00:10:20,525 --> 00:10:23,539
well, the agency is
going through some changes.

249
00:10:23,705 --> 00:10:25,917
Ah, you mean like getting rid
of that dumb bear?

250
00:10:26,191 --> 00:10:27,951
Dad, I don't know how to say this...

251
00:10:28,076 --> 00:10:29,686
My name is Nate, I'll be your server.

252
00:10:29,811 --> 00:10:30,988
How are we this evening?

253
00:10:31,113 --> 00:10:32,423
Nate, this evening, I'm proud.

254
00:10:32,548 --> 00:10:34,175
(cell phone ringtone playing)
Are you a father, Nate?

255
00:10:34,341 --> 00:10:36,928
Because in some ways,
I'm two fathers.

256
00:10:37,094 --> 00:10:38,012
There's Stan and Steve,

257
00:10:38,253 --> 00:10:40,431
and then Pappa Wheelie
and his son Wheels.

258
00:10:40,689 --> 00:10:43,267
So... do you like music?

259
00:10:43,392 --> 00:10:44,802
Do I like music?

260
00:10:44,927 --> 00:10:48,272
No, no, I'm the one person
on Earth who doesn't like music.

261
00:10:48,397 --> 00:10:50,274
Why did you answer my ad online

262
00:10:50,399 --> 00:10:51,842
if you were just gonna ignore me?

263
00:10:51,967 --> 00:10:53,777
My profile has four pictures of me

264
00:10:53,902 --> 00:10:56,096
staring out of a restaurant
window through binoculars.

265
00:10:56,221 --> 00:10:57,865
You knew what this was.

266
00:10:58,031 --> 00:11:00,451
(dishes crashing)

267
00:11:00,617 --> 00:11:03,754
Nice job.

268
00:11:03,879 --> 00:11:05,672
Listen, Dad, about the agency...

269
00:11:05,797 --> 00:11:07,040
Oh, I love it so much.

270
00:11:07,165 --> 00:11:08,275
It's so fun.

271
00:11:08,400 --> 00:11:09,827
Plus I get to spend time with you.

272
00:11:09,952 --> 00:11:10,962
What could be better?

273
00:11:11,128 --> 00:11:12,964
Um, well...

274
00:11:13,222 --> 00:11:14,799
Yes?
You're...

275
00:11:16,967 --> 00:11:18,969
Getting a top-secret assignment.

276
00:11:19,136 --> 00:11:20,320
(squeals) I'm ready!

277
00:11:20,445 --> 00:11:23,190
Look, we need you to become our...

278
00:11:23,315 --> 00:11:26,243
um, our... our-our
head key researcher.

279
00:11:26,368 --> 00:11:28,145
But you gotta...
you gotta do it

280
00:11:28,270 --> 00:11:29,613
deep, deep undercover.

281
00:11:29,738 --> 00:11:31,849
Like... like, don't
even tell The Legman.

282
00:11:31,974 --> 00:11:35,185
Now, I need you to go to
the library every day.

283
00:11:35,310 --> 00:11:37,988
Find out everything there
is to know about keys.

284
00:11:38,113 --> 00:11:39,282
Okay, I can do this.

285
00:11:39,514 --> 00:11:41,993
You start now.
Get out of here.

286
00:11:43,327 --> 00:11:45,095
Oh, one more thing.

287
00:11:45,220 --> 00:11:47,165
You know how <i>Moonstruck</i>
is your favorite Cher movie?

288
00:11:47,389 --> 00:11:50,334
Uh, yes, I think I know
my favorite Cher movie.

289
00:11:50,459 --> 00:11:53,103
Want to reenact the "snap out
of it" scene before you go?

290
00:11:53,228 --> 00:11:54,404
Sure. Can you read me in?

291
00:11:54,529 --> 00:11:55,506
No problem.

292
00:11:55,631 --> 00:11:57,481
I'm in love with you.

293
00:12:00,218 --> 00:12:02,889
Snap out of it!

294
00:12:05,357 --> 00:12:07,201
Good for him, huh?

295
00:12:07,326 --> 00:12:09,486
You know, you're not
as ugly as I thought.

296
00:12:09,611 --> 00:12:10,971
I just might sex you later.

297
00:12:11,096 --> 00:12:12,606
I'm gonna go.

298
00:12:12,731 --> 00:12:14,942
Ugh. Now you've ruined it by talking.

299
00:12:17,669 --> 00:12:19,213
Ugh. Terrible date last night.

300
00:12:19,338 --> 00:12:21,657
I only made her "O" like 100 times.

301
00:12:21,940 --> 00:12:23,083
(chuckling):
You know...

302
00:12:23,208 --> 00:12:24,452
you know what I'm saying,
right, Bonks?

303
00:12:24,676 --> 00:12:26,954
Hey, this place has got
some breathing room, huh?

304
00:12:27,079 --> 00:12:29,656
I can't believe you
actually fired Pappa Wheelie.

305
00:12:29,781 --> 00:12:31,892
Yep. He's a-gone.

306
00:12:32,017 --> 00:12:33,327
(phone rings)

307
00:12:33,452 --> 00:12:34,837
Wheels and The Legman.

308
00:12:35,120 --> 00:12:37,197
FRANCINE: Steve, it's Mom.
Have you seen your father?

309
00:12:37,322 --> 00:12:38,815
I don't know who this Steve is.

310
00:12:38,940 --> 00:12:40,534
Is this about a case?

311
00:12:40,659 --> 00:12:42,102
(Francine sighs)

312
00:12:42,227 --> 00:12:45,038
Wheels, have you seen Pappa Wheelie?

313
00:12:45,163 --> 00:12:46,807
He didn't come home last night.

314
00:12:46,932 --> 00:12:47,975
That's weird.

315
00:12:48,100 --> 00:12:49,310
Let me get back to you.

316
00:12:49,476 --> 00:12:50,861
(knock at door)

317
00:12:50,986 --> 00:12:52,412
Teddy, can you...
Oh, never mind.

318
00:12:52,537 --> 00:12:55,137
You're waiting for that
fax confirmation.

319
00:12:57,459 --> 00:12:59,477
Package for Wheels and The Legman.

320
00:13:01,713 --> 00:13:03,408
(screams)
(groans)

321
00:13:03,574 --> 00:13:05,076
A severed finger.

322
00:13:05,242 --> 00:13:06,276
(retches)

323
00:13:06,401 --> 00:13:07,945
"We have your associate."

324
00:13:08,070 --> 00:13:09,446
(gasps) Dad!

325
00:13:09,571 --> 00:13:10,814
"If you want him back alive,

326
00:13:10,939 --> 00:13:12,950
"we will trade him for the key.

327
00:13:13,075 --> 00:13:16,295
3:00 at the abandoned bank
on Norton Street."

328
00:13:16,461 --> 00:13:17,588
Oh, my God!

329
00:13:17,754 --> 00:13:19,048
We gotta get goin'!

330
00:13:20,182 --> 00:13:22,149
(mimics car engine)

331
00:13:28,357 --> 00:13:30,067
Eventually we'll have
to go back inside

332
00:13:30,192 --> 00:13:32,502
and have a serious talk about
what we're going to do.

333
00:13:32,627 --> 00:13:34,272
(resumes mimicking car engine)

334
00:13:38,942 --> 00:13:40,535
It's Stan's finger, all right.

335
00:13:40,660 --> 00:13:42,804
I recognize the ring.

336
00:13:42,929 --> 00:13:44,489
How did this happen?

337
00:13:44,614 --> 00:13:46,325
We're not even real detectives.

338
00:13:46,450 --> 00:13:48,327
Someone wants that key bad.

339
00:13:48,452 --> 00:13:50,612
But why would anyone
do this to Pappa Wheelie?

340
00:13:50,737 --> 00:13:52,540
He wasn't even working
for us anymore.

341
00:13:52,706 --> 00:13:53,849
I...

342
00:13:54,227 --> 00:13:55,846
- I didn't fire him.
- What?!

343
00:13:56,026 --> 00:13:57,402
Oh, this is all my fault.

344
00:13:57,527 --> 00:13:58,637
Somebody must have followed him

345
00:13:58,762 --> 00:13:59,955
to the library and nabbed him.

346
00:14:00,080 --> 00:14:01,923
We have to call the cops, Roger.

347
00:14:02,048 --> 00:14:03,225
It's Legman!

348
00:14:03,350 --> 00:14:05,052
And we are taking care
of this ourselves.

349
00:14:05,218 --> 00:14:06,461
They want the key, right?

350
00:14:06,586 --> 00:14:08,296
But who's to say
that once we give it to them,

351
00:14:08,421 --> 00:14:09,798
we actually get your dad back?

352
00:14:09,923 --> 00:14:12,868
We need to find out what
the key unlocks and get that.

353
00:14:12,993 --> 00:14:14,569
Then, if they try to pull a fast one,

354
00:14:14,694 --> 00:14:16,438
we have the key and the goods.

355
00:14:16,605 --> 00:14:17,706
We have all the leverage.

356
00:14:17,831 --> 00:14:19,441
I... I don't...
I don't know, Roger.

357
00:14:19,566 --> 00:14:20,809
I'm scared.

358
00:14:20,934 --> 00:14:23,111
No. Steve Smith is scared.

359
00:14:23,236 --> 00:14:27,249
Squwirt "Wheels" Cinnabun has
danglers the size of Montana.

360
00:14:27,374 --> 00:14:30,276
Anyone can crack this case, he can.

361
00:14:32,788 --> 00:14:34,665
Squwirt Cinnabun?

362
00:14:34,831 --> 00:14:36,425
Yeah.
I Keyser Soze'd you

363
00:14:36,550 --> 00:14:38,700
off the top of that file cabinet.

364
00:14:42,255 --> 00:14:44,499
Oh, great.
You guys again.

365
00:14:44,624 --> 00:14:47,202
Our vulgar associate is no
longer with the company.

366
00:14:47,327 --> 00:14:48,670
We came to say we're sorry.

367
00:14:48,795 --> 00:14:50,772
And to find out what you know
about this key.

368
00:14:50,897 --> 00:14:52,541
Okay, I'll tell you,

369
00:14:52,666 --> 00:14:54,276
but I'm running a business here.

370
00:14:54,401 --> 00:14:55,677
You'll have to buy something.

371
00:14:55,802 --> 00:14:57,403
I got this.
You have a scanner?

372
00:15:05,362 --> 00:15:07,156
And send.

373
00:15:07,322 --> 00:15:10,733
And I'll also take
this off-season Santa pen.

374
00:15:12,536 --> 00:15:14,479
The key opens a locker
at the train station.

375
00:15:14,604 --> 00:15:15,680
How did you know that?

376
00:15:15,805 --> 00:15:17,049
Because it's printed on the key.

377
00:15:17,174 --> 00:15:18,717
Here's the train station address,

378
00:15:18,842 --> 00:15:20,118
and here's the locker number.

379
00:15:20,243 --> 00:15:22,387
And here's a phone number
in case you find this key.

380
00:15:22,512 --> 00:15:24,589
And below that,
this is just a hotline number

381
00:15:24,714 --> 00:15:27,550
should you have any general
questions about the key.

382
00:15:31,680 --> 00:15:33,365
Do you remember
where we parked the car?

383
00:15:33,490 --> 00:15:35,101
'Cause I don't.
We're in E-4.

384
00:15:35,267 --> 00:15:36,468
Look at you.

385
00:15:36,593 --> 00:15:39,371
You're like that autistic
cowgirl Claire Danes played.

386
00:15:39,496 --> 00:15:41,339
Do you know she's an "A" cup?

387
00:15:41,464 --> 00:15:43,358
Hey, there are the lockers.

388
00:15:43,483 --> 00:15:46,153
I know so much about celebrities.

389
00:15:56,621 --> 00:15:58,974
We are up against a deadline, people,

390
00:15:59,099 --> 00:16:01,343
and not one of you
has submitted a photo

391
00:16:01,468 --> 00:16:04,880
that's close to cute enough
for Cute Pet Pics.

392
00:16:05,121 --> 00:16:06,414
My peepaw did not start

393
00:16:06,539 --> 00:16:08,700
an underground cute newspaper in 1943

394
00:16:08,825 --> 00:16:11,036
to have it all go to hell
'cause you morons

395
00:16:11,161 --> 00:16:13,848
can't tell your elbow
from a kitten in a bunny suit!

396
00:16:14,014 --> 00:16:15,223
I'm sorry, Peepaw.

397
00:16:15,348 --> 00:16:17,609
I think we're going to have
to shut her down.

398
00:16:17,734 --> 00:16:19,277
Um, sir, I do have

399
00:16:19,402 --> 00:16:21,079
this submission from Langley Falls.

400
00:16:21,204 --> 00:16:22,397
Let me see that!

401
00:16:22,522 --> 00:16:23,965
Oh, my God.

402
00:16:24,090 --> 00:16:27,235
Carol, you may have
just saved the world.

403
00:16:27,402 --> 00:16:28,603
Is he serious?

404
00:16:28,728 --> 00:16:31,157
I... I never know
what's going on here.

405
00:16:31,323 --> 00:16:33,159
(phone ringing)

406
00:16:33,325 --> 00:16:35,544
WOMAN: Hi. I'm calling
from Cute Pet Pics.

407
00:16:35,669 --> 00:16:37,746
Uh, we have a submission
from this address,

408
00:16:37,871 --> 00:16:40,215
and with permission, we'd like
to publish it on the site.

409
00:16:40,340 --> 00:16:42,460
Oh, my God, yes!
Yes! Yes!

410
00:16:42,742 --> 00:16:45,086
Francine, Hayley,
get in here, bitches!

411
00:16:45,211 --> 00:16:46,388
(laughing)

412
00:16:46,513 --> 00:16:48,290
Time to see some cute...

413
00:16:48,415 --> 00:16:49,615
What the...?!

414
00:16:52,552 --> 00:16:53,829
That's not a hippo's butt.

415
00:16:53,954 --> 00:16:55,897
That's Roger's fat alien ass.

416
00:16:56,022 --> 00:16:57,766
I'd know it anywhere.

417
00:16:57,891 --> 00:17:01,062
Many times I've woken up to that
ass hanging over <i>mein</i> bowl.

418
00:17:01,228 --> 00:17:03,438
Wow, Klaus, I guess Roger's ass
is cuter than you.

419
00:17:03,563 --> 00:17:04,773
Dick.

420
00:17:04,898 --> 00:17:06,808
Yeah, Dick Vermeil.

421
00:17:06,933 --> 00:17:09,077
(chuckles) I won a ring
with the Rams.

422
00:17:09,202 --> 00:17:11,155
Flipped it on you, bitch.

423
00:17:11,321 --> 00:17:13,048
I flipped it on them.

424
00:17:13,173 --> 00:17:16,051
Oh, they will go upstairs,
they will Google Dick Vermeil,

425
00:17:16,176 --> 00:17:19,311
and they will know
how bad I nailed them.

426
00:17:22,082 --> 00:17:23,692
This is the spot.
Now, where's Stan?

427
00:17:23,817 --> 00:17:25,961
There's a note in the pneumatic tube.

428
00:17:27,554 --> 00:17:29,831
"Send in the key,
and Pappa Wheelie is yours.

429
00:17:29,956 --> 00:17:31,199
We are watching."

430
00:17:31,324 --> 00:17:33,993
They can have the key.
We already have the bag.

431
00:17:37,197 --> 00:17:39,433
Whoa, that sucks really good.

432
00:17:39,599 --> 00:17:44,179
You think anyone's ever...
done stuff with it?

433
00:17:44,304 --> 00:17:46,748
Should I do stuff with it?

434
00:17:46,873 --> 00:17:49,985
Do we have time for me
to do stuff with it?

435
00:17:50,151 --> 00:17:52,721
If I do stuff with it
and stuff goes wrong,

436
00:17:52,846 --> 00:17:54,305
will you help me?

437
00:17:54,430 --> 00:17:55,991
Oh, wait. There he is.

438
00:17:56,157 --> 00:17:57,826
Dad! We're coming for you!

439
00:17:57,951 --> 00:17:59,961
How do we get in there?
I have an idea.

440
00:18:00,086 --> 00:18:02,206
Quick, grab my disguise
kit out of the trunk.

441
00:18:02,372 --> 00:18:03,789
(tires screeching)

442
00:18:08,111 --> 00:18:09,521
Dad, what happened?

443
00:18:09,646 --> 00:18:10,722
It's Bonkers.

444
00:18:10,847 --> 00:18:12,724
I know, this whole thing
is just bananas.

445
00:18:12,849 --> 00:18:14,960
No, it's Bonkers... Teddy Bonkers.

446
00:18:15,085 --> 00:18:16,887
He did this.
He's behind you.

447
00:18:19,556 --> 00:18:21,383
He had it out for me the whole time.

448
00:18:21,508 --> 00:18:23,251
He gave me the wrong
coffee order for Roger.

449
00:18:23,376 --> 00:18:24,970
He encouraged my smart-mouth persona,

450
00:18:25,095 --> 00:18:26,538
knowing full well it would bomb.

451
00:18:26,663 --> 00:18:28,323
Bonkers wanted me fired,
and when that didn't happen,

452
00:18:28,448 --> 00:18:29,692
he wanted me dead.

453
00:18:29,858 --> 00:18:31,109
What?

454
00:18:31,234 --> 00:18:32,410
Oh, my God.
Of course!

455
00:18:32,535 --> 00:18:34,246
Bonkers was jealous that you came in

456
00:18:34,371 --> 00:18:35,413
as a junior detective

457
00:18:35,538 --> 00:18:37,349
when he was next in line
for a promotion.

458
00:18:37,474 --> 00:18:38,951
Oh, Bonkers.

459
00:18:39,117 --> 00:18:40,993
How could you do this?

460
00:18:42,612 --> 00:18:44,372
Oh, for the love of God, Roger.

461
00:18:44,497 --> 00:18:46,508
Bonkers is not real!

462
00:18:46,633 --> 00:18:47,976
What?
What are you saying?

463
00:18:48,101 --> 00:18:50,829
Bonkers is a stuffed bear... a toy!

464
00:18:50,954 --> 00:18:53,131
I didn't want to tell you,
but I hate this bit!

465
00:18:53,256 --> 00:18:55,176
Here's why... it's stupid!

466
00:18:55,392 --> 00:18:57,035
A teddy bear as our receptionist?

467
00:18:57,160 --> 00:18:58,637
It doesn't even make sense.

468
00:18:58,762 --> 00:19:00,598
Do you know how many calls
we've missed?

469
00:19:00,764 --> 00:19:02,157
But, Steve...

470
00:19:02,282 --> 00:19:04,726
I went along with it 'cause
I didn't want to upset you.

471
00:19:04,851 --> 00:19:06,294
I can't stand telling people

472
00:19:06,419 --> 00:19:08,830
things they don't
want to hear, but...

473
00:19:08,955 --> 00:19:10,098
Hey.

474
00:19:10,223 --> 00:19:11,833
Why, I did it.

475
00:19:11,958 --> 00:19:13,861
I told someone bad news.

476
00:19:14,027 --> 00:19:16,304
But if Bonkers isn't real,

477
00:19:16,429 --> 00:19:19,231
then who kidnapped Pappa Wheelie?

478
00:19:20,867 --> 00:19:22,210
It was you.

479
00:19:22,335 --> 00:19:24,288
You framed Teddy Bonkers.

480
00:19:24,454 --> 00:19:26,047
It's true.

481
00:19:26,172 --> 00:19:27,699
I knew you wanted to fire me.

482
00:19:27,824 --> 00:19:29,067
Yes, I knew.

483
00:19:29,192 --> 00:19:31,202
So I figured,
if I made Bonkers the bad guy,

484
00:19:31,327 --> 00:19:32,837
I could blame all my mistakes on him

485
00:19:32,962 --> 00:19:34,339
and you'd give me another chance.

486
00:19:34,464 --> 00:19:36,665
But I made one miscalculation.

487
00:19:36,967 --> 00:19:39,544
I never thought Steve
would have the guts

488
00:19:39,669 --> 00:19:41,388
to tell you Bonkers was fake.

489
00:19:41,554 --> 00:19:43,114
The only thing I don't get

490
00:19:43,239 --> 00:19:45,226
is why you went to all this trouble.

491
00:19:45,392 --> 00:19:46,634
I was bored, Steve.

492
00:19:46,759 --> 00:19:48,169
Really, really bored.

493
00:19:48,294 --> 00:19:49,688
Like, so bored.

494
00:19:49,854 --> 00:19:51,473
So you cut off your own finger?

495
00:19:51,598 --> 00:19:52,974
That wasn't my finger.

496
00:19:53,099 --> 00:19:55,460
It was a fish stick I sucked
the bread crumbs off of.

497
00:19:55,585 --> 00:19:58,864
I thought there was something
fishy about all this, Legman.

498
00:19:59,030 --> 00:20:01,406
No, I'm not playing without Bonkers!

499
00:20:03,076 --> 00:20:04,235
You know what?

500
00:20:04,360 --> 00:20:07,572
It's not so bad being
the "bear-er" of bad news.

501
00:20:07,697 --> 00:20:10,975
Or the sharer of new shoes.

502
00:20:11,100 --> 00:20:12,344
You're fired.

503
00:20:12,469 --> 00:20:14,779
Whoo! That felt great!

504
00:20:14,904 --> 00:20:16,715
I gotta keep this goin'!

505
00:20:16,881 --> 00:20:19,385
Your bird is dead.

506
00:20:19,551 --> 00:20:21,036
Your grandfather was an idiot.

507
00:20:21,161 --> 00:20:23,288
His legacy... an empty satchel

508
00:20:23,413 --> 00:20:25,933
that lights up when you open it!

509
00:20:26,099 --> 00:20:27,977
You're not cute.

510
00:20:28,284 --> 00:20:30,437
<i>I'm telling you,</i> <i>a girl's friends</i>

511
00:20:30,603 --> 00:20:32,897
get in her ear, it is over.

512
00:20:33,022 --> 00:20:35,734
They're all, "Make him
take you to a restaurant.

513
00:20:35,859 --> 00:20:37,268
Make him buy you sandals."

514
00:20:37,393 --> 00:20:38,970
I don't care what every single person

515
00:20:39,095 --> 00:20:42,950
on Earth says... you're hilarious.

516
00:20:43,950 --> 00:20:45,829
Sync.

