1
00:00:01,801 --> 00:00:04,827
ALEX: Whitney is taped
in front of a live
studio audience.

2
00:00:06,606 --> 00:00:07,937
Hey, guys.
Hey.

3
00:00:08,208 --> 00:00:10,642
Uh, can...
Can we squeeze in here?

4
00:00:10,710 --> 00:00:12,268
Oh.

5
00:00:12,746 --> 00:00:13,906
Oh, thanks.

6
00:00:13,980 --> 00:00:15,140
Hey. Do you realize
this is the first time

7
00:00:15,215 --> 00:00:17,581
all three of us
have been in a relationship
at the same time?

8
00:00:17,650 --> 00:00:19,481
Yeah, they're gonna need
to get a bigger couch in here.

9
00:00:19,552 --> 00:00:21,679
Or maybe you can
just get a smaller
ex-husband.

10
00:00:22,722 --> 00:00:24,587
Hey, who's that girl
that Mark's talking to
at the bar?

11
00:00:24,657 --> 00:00:25,646
Her name's Katie.

12
00:00:25,725 --> 00:00:27,249
They've been together
non-stop for the past
couple days.

13
00:00:27,327 --> 00:00:28,316
He's really into her.

14
00:00:28,628 --> 00:00:30,220
Aw. Mark thinks
he's people.

15
00:00:31,331 --> 00:00:32,696
The last two days
have been fun.

16
00:00:32,766 --> 00:00:34,358
I know.
So fun.

17
00:00:34,434 --> 00:00:36,561
I really like you.
Me, too.

18
00:00:37,971 --> 00:00:39,871
I wish I liked you
just a little more.

19
00:00:40,607 --> 00:00:43,075
Excuse me?
I know.
I'm so bummed.

20
00:00:43,343 --> 00:00:44,970
Well, maybe I should go.

21
00:00:45,412 --> 00:00:46,709
You should definitely go.

22
00:00:49,749 --> 00:00:52,115
Well, at least we can
always count on Mark
to be single.

23
00:00:52,619 --> 00:00:53,745
Dude, what happened?

24
00:00:53,820 --> 00:00:55,788
You know
what they say.

25
00:00:55,855 --> 00:00:57,288
If you're not sure
in 48 hours,

26
00:00:57,357 --> 00:00:58,756
you've got to
pull the ripcord.

27
00:00:59,225 --> 00:01:03,286
Is "they" you, Pauly D,
and the Situation,
by any chance?

28
00:01:04,030 --> 00:01:05,088
No.

29
00:01:05,165 --> 00:01:08,032
You ever heard of
mastersofpsychology.net?

30
00:01:08,101 --> 00:01:09,125
Nope.

31
00:01:09,235 --> 00:01:11,135
Because a guy who has
written for them
coined the term

32
00:01:11,204 --> 00:01:14,105
"48-hour-rule"
on his vlog.

33
00:01:14,441 --> 00:01:15,738
He says you know

34
00:01:15,809 --> 00:01:17,140
in 48 hours if someone
is right for you.

35
00:01:17,210 --> 00:01:18,336
And if you don't,

36
00:01:19,179 --> 00:01:21,113
you're just talking
yourself into it
for the hot monkey sex.

37
00:01:21,181 --> 00:01:22,614
And those are
his words, not mine.

38
00:01:22,682 --> 00:01:24,775
The 48-hour-rule
was true with me
and Whitney.

39
00:01:24,851 --> 00:01:27,979
Oh. No.
It took me way longer.

40
00:01:28,054 --> 00:01:30,045
No way. It was, like,
exactly 48 hours.

41
00:01:30,123 --> 00:01:31,420
You're remembering
it wrong.

44
00:01:35,228 --> 00:01:36,286
She was bombed.

45
00:01:36,362 --> 00:01:38,159
Uh, no, I was
more high than bombed.

46
00:01:38,231 --> 00:01:39,289
I was sober.

47
00:01:39,365 --> 00:01:40,730
I was drunk.

48
00:01:41,601 --> 00:01:42,795
I hadn't met
you guys yet,

49
00:01:42,869 --> 00:01:44,336
but I know what night
you're talking about.

50
00:01:44,971 --> 00:01:47,098
(lNDlE ROCK MUSlC PLAYlNG)

51
00:01:53,813 --> 00:01:54,837
Wake up!
Wake up!

52
00:01:54,914 --> 00:01:56,040
All right.
All right.

53
00:01:56,549 --> 00:01:59,017
Okay. I'm plowed.

54
00:01:59,085 --> 00:02:01,076
You know, this may be
the beer goggles talking,

55
00:02:01,154 --> 00:02:03,088
but I think we are
the cutest chicks in here.
Mmm-hmm.

56
00:02:04,891 --> 00:02:07,189
I mean, we are
the only chicks in here.
Yeah.

57
00:02:07,260 --> 00:02:09,455
This makes me feel like
we're missing a sale.

58
00:02:10,096 --> 00:02:11,188
Hey.

59
00:02:11,264 --> 00:02:12,891
There is nothing
to worry about.

60
00:02:12,966 --> 00:02:17,232
We are single ladies in 2008,
and we don't need a thing.

61
00:02:18,805 --> 00:02:21,467
I need some tequila.
I'm shaking. Okay.

62
00:02:22,308 --> 00:02:24,208
Oh, Roxanne
is coming over here.
Be nice.

63
00:02:24,277 --> 00:02:25,904
What? I like Roxanne.

64
00:02:25,979 --> 00:02:27,503
We just don't have
that much in common.

65
00:02:27,580 --> 00:02:29,571
It's like she doesn't
really drink.

66
00:02:29,649 --> 00:02:31,344
She's always
all over Lance.

67
00:02:31,584 --> 00:02:33,108
I just don't know
how to deal with girls

68
00:02:33,186 --> 00:02:35,313
who are defined
by their relationship,
you know?

69
00:02:36,422 --> 00:02:38,287
Shoot me if I'm
ever like that. Okay?

70
00:02:39,492 --> 00:02:41,187
Hey, you guys!
Hi.

71
00:02:41,261 --> 00:02:43,195
Thank you so much
for coming.

72
00:02:43,263 --> 00:02:45,026
Hi, Roxanne.
Happy birthday, Lance.

73
00:02:45,098 --> 00:02:46,395
Oh, thanks.
But isn't every day

74
00:02:46,466 --> 00:02:48,696
we don't die
a happy, new birth day?

75
00:02:53,173 --> 00:02:56,108
(SlGHS) Man,
it's been forever since
I've seen you guys.

76
00:02:56,176 --> 00:02:57,609
But I'll have more
free time now

77
00:02:57,677 --> 00:03:00,703
since Hillary lost
the nomination
and our phone bank closed.

78
00:03:00,780 --> 00:03:01,838
Ah.

79
00:03:01,915 --> 00:03:03,382
I can't believe
our next President

80
00:03:03,449 --> 00:03:06,509
could be the only
black guy in Chicago
Lily hasn't slept with.

81
00:03:08,054 --> 00:03:09,453
I've still got
five months.

82
00:03:14,761 --> 00:03:16,422
Oh, no.

83
00:03:17,197 --> 00:03:19,825
Well, we found where
Chicago keeps
all its dudes.

84
00:03:21,267 --> 00:03:24,168
Yeah, really.
The prettiest girl in here
is that Asian guy.

85
00:03:25,371 --> 00:03:27,430
All right. Well, let's go
get a drink and then
we'll head out.

86
00:03:27,507 --> 00:03:30,101
Just text that girl, Karen.
She got some cute friends.

87
00:03:30,176 --> 00:03:32,303
No, I don't want
to text Karen.
She's so boring.

88
00:03:32,378 --> 00:03:33,470
She doesn't have
any opinions

89
00:03:33,546 --> 00:03:34,638
and she never has
anything to say.

90
00:03:34,714 --> 00:03:35,908
Oh.

91
00:03:36,416 --> 00:03:38,907
Yeah, definitely don't text
the perfect woman.

92
00:03:45,024 --> 00:03:46,491
Uh...

93
00:03:46,926 --> 00:03:48,154
Seriously, you're not
going to let me in?

94
00:03:48,228 --> 00:03:49,525
Not without lD.

95
00:03:49,596 --> 00:03:50,824
(SlGHS)

96
00:03:52,298 --> 00:03:55,825
Ah, I left it
at my office.
Where I work.

97
00:03:55,902 --> 00:03:57,460
Because I'm 30 years old.

98
00:03:58,438 --> 00:04:00,872
But why do you
still dress like
a nine-year-old?

99
00:04:02,775 --> 00:04:04,037
(GROANS)

100
00:04:04,544 --> 00:04:06,569
Wake up!
Okay, I'm up.

101
00:04:06,646 --> 00:04:07,977
I'm up.
I'm up.

102
00:04:08,381 --> 00:04:10,110
I'm going to go
have that cigarette.
All right.

103
00:04:10,316 --> 00:04:12,978
It would be so much
easier if you could
just snort cigarettes.

104
00:04:17,123 --> 00:04:18,317
(SlGHS)

105
00:04:18,391 --> 00:04:20,484
Hey, check it out.
There's a girl.

106
00:04:23,263 --> 00:04:24,890
I think we struck bronze.

107
00:04:27,533 --> 00:04:29,194
Oh, yeah.
Well, there's one of her
and there's two of us.

108
00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:30,827
So, how should
we play this?

109
00:04:31,271 --> 00:04:32,898
I don't know.

110
00:04:32,972 --> 00:04:35,600
She should probably
be in the middle.

111
00:04:38,378 --> 00:04:41,176
Okay.
Well, first of all,
"Probably"?

112
00:04:42,949 --> 00:04:44,109
Second of all,

113
00:04:44,183 --> 00:04:46,617
I'm talking about we should
rock-paper-scissors for her.

114
00:04:47,053 --> 00:04:48,315
Oh.

115
00:04:50,957 --> 00:04:52,948
I guess I'm going to
go find that Asian guy.

116
00:05:01,401 --> 00:05:02,527
Hi.

117
00:05:02,602 --> 00:05:04,399
Okay. Here we go.

118
00:05:04,804 --> 00:05:07,398
Listen, I never do this...
Oh, God.

119
00:05:07,473 --> 00:05:08,735
Please, stop.

120
00:05:09,275 --> 00:05:13,109
Every time a guy says,
"l never do this,"
he always does this.

121
00:05:13,279 --> 00:05:14,405
Really?
Yes.

122
00:05:14,480 --> 00:05:15,708
Because what I was
going to say is, uh,

123
00:05:15,782 --> 00:05:18,410
"l never do this,
but I could tell all the way
from the other end of the bar

124
00:05:18,484 --> 00:05:19,712
"that your
personality sucks."

125
00:05:19,786 --> 00:05:21,117
(LAUGHS)

126
00:05:21,421 --> 00:05:22,945
Yeah.
Oh, okay.

127
00:05:23,022 --> 00:05:24,819
Yeah.
Someone read The Game.

128
00:05:24,891 --> 00:05:26,188
Oh, yeah.
No, I read The Game.

129
00:05:26,259 --> 00:05:28,318
But you're only
supposed to use
those moves

130
00:05:28,394 --> 00:05:30,021
for girls
that you're actually
attracted to.

131
00:05:30,096 --> 00:05:31,188
Ah!
Yeah.

132
00:05:31,264 --> 00:05:32,424
Wow.

133
00:05:32,498 --> 00:05:33,897
Now, you're supposed to
have a comeback for that.

134
00:05:33,966 --> 00:05:37,424
Okay. Why don't you
come back as someone
I would be interested in?

135
00:05:40,907 --> 00:05:44,104
That answers my question
on what you're doing alone
in a bar full of guys.

136
00:05:44,177 --> 00:05:46,611
You know what?
I'm just gonna...
(CLEARS THROAT)

137
00:05:51,784 --> 00:05:53,445
Hey, are you bipolar?

138
00:05:55,421 --> 00:05:56,683
Are you bisexual?

139
00:05:58,024 --> 00:05:59,958
Well, I am
attracted to you.

140
00:06:01,127 --> 00:06:02,116
I'm leaving.

141
00:06:06,699 --> 00:06:07,927
Are you coming?

142
00:06:09,635 --> 00:06:11,728
Oh, she's playing
hard to get.

143
00:06:15,875 --> 00:06:19,367
You know, we're not
even choosing to talk
to each other right now.

144
00:06:19,479 --> 00:06:21,470
Our bodies
chose for us.

145
00:06:22,148 --> 00:06:23,581
It's millions of years
of evolution.

146
00:06:23,649 --> 00:06:25,241
Are you familiar
with pheromones?

147
00:06:27,153 --> 00:06:28,745
White guys. Man.

148
00:06:34,761 --> 00:06:36,194
Excuse me.

149
00:06:36,829 --> 00:06:38,160
Sorry.

150
00:06:38,531 --> 00:06:39,964
Weirdo.

151
00:06:41,067 --> 00:06:42,398
Okay. Uh...

152
00:06:45,405 --> 00:06:48,602
This is a copy
of my birth certificate.

153
00:06:49,041 --> 00:06:50,668
Can I please go in now?

154
00:06:51,244 --> 00:06:52,438
No.

155
00:06:52,512 --> 00:06:53,945
Now you just
want it too much.

156
00:06:59,685 --> 00:07:00,879
What the...

157
00:07:01,554 --> 00:07:02,851
Oh.

158
00:07:03,956 --> 00:07:05,150
That guy.

159
00:07:10,897 --> 00:07:12,387
Morning, Whitney.

160
00:07:13,766 --> 00:07:15,597
Morning.

161
00:07:16,068 --> 00:07:17,433
You.

162
00:07:22,475 --> 00:07:24,443
You know what?
Um, I really have
to get to work.

163
00:07:24,510 --> 00:07:26,569
The boss is kind of
a stickler. So...

164
00:07:26,679 --> 00:07:29,477
Uh, you're a freelance
photographer, Whitney.

165
00:07:30,650 --> 00:07:32,481
You showed me
a billboard you did
last night.

166
00:07:32,552 --> 00:07:35,077
It was right after
you got into an argument
with a parking meter.

167
00:07:36,222 --> 00:07:39,658
Look, um...
I never do this.
So...

168
00:07:39,725 --> 00:07:41,750
Uh, first of all,
when a girl says
she never does this,

169
00:07:41,828 --> 00:07:43,557
she always does this.

170
00:07:44,464 --> 00:07:47,297
Second of all,
I actually don't have many
one-night stands, either.

171
00:07:47,433 --> 00:07:49,901
Oh, no, no, no.
One-night stands are,
like, my jam.

172
00:07:49,969 --> 00:07:52,028
I normally, um,
never sleep over.

173
00:07:52,104 --> 00:07:55,505
So, I'm just going to...
Oh. Well, great. Go.

174
00:07:58,177 --> 00:07:59,371
Okay.

175
00:07:59,445 --> 00:08:01,174
Oh, what?
Now you have dignity?

176
00:08:02,949 --> 00:08:05,179
Look, dude,
here's the thing.

177
00:08:05,251 --> 00:08:06,775
I just, um...
Dude.

178
00:08:08,120 --> 00:08:10,179
You don't even know
my name, do you?

179
00:08:10,590 --> 00:08:13,058
Okay, I'm sorry.
I forgot.

180
00:08:13,125 --> 00:08:15,923
I'm sure you said it, like,
ten times last night.

181
00:08:15,995 --> 00:08:18,293
But it was just...
Yeah. You know,
you said it a few times, too.

182
00:08:19,932 --> 00:08:21,490
Your name is
Slow Down?

183
00:08:23,035 --> 00:08:25,026
Look, I'm sorry.
It's just that, um...

184
00:08:26,138 --> 00:08:29,972
I just got out of something.
And I really need to work
on myself right now.

185
00:08:30,076 --> 00:08:33,011
(LAUGHS) Okay.

186
00:08:33,613 --> 00:08:35,945
I'm serious.
I just, um...
(CLEARS THROAT)

187
00:08:36,015 --> 00:08:37,573
I could really
see myself...

188
00:08:37,650 --> 00:08:40,483
Falling for me?
And you don't want to
take things too seriously?

189
00:08:40,553 --> 00:08:42,521
You know what? It's okay.
You don't have to do this.

190
00:08:42,588 --> 00:08:45,056
You don't ever have
to justify casual sex
to a dude.

191
00:08:45,124 --> 00:08:46,250
Great. Okay.

192
00:08:46,325 --> 00:08:47,349
Okay, great.

193
00:08:47,426 --> 00:08:49,792
Perfect. We don't have
to pretend this is more
than it is.

194
00:08:49,862 --> 00:08:52,092
You know?
I mean, sometimes,
sex is just sex.

195
00:08:52,164 --> 00:08:54,189
Totally. So, what
do I owe you?

196
00:09:03,209 --> 00:09:05,268
I'm so glad
we're hanging out.

197
00:09:05,344 --> 00:09:07,505
We never get to have
one-on-one girl time.

198
00:09:07,580 --> 00:09:09,605
I mean,
without Whitney.
Yeah.

199
00:09:09,982 --> 00:09:13,008
I usually only see you
when you're
out partying. So...

200
00:09:13,085 --> 00:09:15,519
Oh, right.
What else do
you like to do?

201
00:09:16,856 --> 00:09:18,824
Uh... Mushrooms.

202
00:09:19,792 --> 00:09:22,192
Yeah, I love
to do mushrooms. And...

203
00:09:22,695 --> 00:09:25,186
Oh. Oh... Oh, okay.
See, I was, um...

204
00:09:25,264 --> 00:09:28,062
I was thinking
more along the lines
of rock climbing.

205
00:09:28,134 --> 00:09:31,535
Oh. No, rock climbing
on mushrooms would be
super dangerous.

206
00:09:32,138 --> 00:09:33,628
What do you
like to do?

207
00:09:34,073 --> 00:09:37,270
She likes making jewelry,
meditating, and dancing
in my dreams.

208
00:09:37,343 --> 00:09:38,640
Hey. (LAUGHS)

209
00:09:38,711 --> 00:09:40,576
I didn't know
Lance was coming.

210
00:09:40,646 --> 00:09:42,807
For a girls' night.
Just pretend
I'm not here.

211
00:09:43,149 --> 00:09:45,982
Yeah. You know what?
Lance is basically
one of the girls, anyway.

212
00:09:46,852 --> 00:09:49,912
So, tell me about this idea
you have for a food blog.

213
00:09:49,989 --> 00:09:52,753
Oh. Well, I have
a very sophisticated palate.

214
00:09:53,025 --> 00:09:55,425
And I failed
out of college. So...

215
00:09:56,562 --> 00:09:58,689
Uh, can I get a shot?

216
00:09:59,699 --> 00:10:01,132
And a shotgun?

217
00:10:05,204 --> 00:10:07,900
Alex? Do you remember
when you were like,

218
00:10:08,007 --> 00:10:10,601
"I'll have a small
strawberry-banana smoothie."

219
00:10:10,676 --> 00:10:13,645
And I was like,
"Do you want
a free boost with that?

220
00:10:14,246 --> 00:10:15,907
"Like my phone number?"

221
00:10:16,415 --> 00:10:17,712
Do you remember that?

222
00:10:17,783 --> 00:10:21,241
Uh... Yeah, well,
it was two days ago
at Jamba Juice.

223
00:10:22,355 --> 00:10:23,913
Are you mad at me?

224
00:10:25,191 --> 00:10:27,421
No. Why would l
be mad at you?

225
00:10:28,127 --> 00:10:32,621
I'm just... I'm just being
weird because you didn't
notice my new haircut.

226
00:10:34,033 --> 00:10:35,523
That's because
we only met once,

227
00:10:35,601 --> 00:10:37,193
and you were
wearing a visor.

228
00:10:38,170 --> 00:10:39,228
Excuse me.

229
00:10:39,305 --> 00:10:42,069
Uh, these drinks
are compliments of
the lady over there.

230
00:10:45,277 --> 00:10:46,574
(CHUCKLlNG)

231
00:10:46,812 --> 00:10:47,801
Okay.

232
00:10:47,913 --> 00:10:49,278
A beer for you.

233
00:10:49,782 --> 00:10:51,613
And a Shirley Temple
for the lady.

234
00:10:52,418 --> 00:10:54,943
She wasn't sure
that your friend was
of legal drinking age.

235
00:10:56,022 --> 00:10:58,422
(LAUGHS)
Unbelievable.

236
00:10:58,658 --> 00:11:00,956
Who is he?
Is he in a band?

237
00:11:01,227 --> 00:11:02,922
Are they better
than my band?

238
00:11:03,429 --> 00:11:04,589
Does he have any weed?

239
00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:07,758
Okay. Honestly, I don't
even know his name.

240
00:11:08,467 --> 00:11:11,925
This basket of bread
is compliments of the
gentleman over there.

241
00:11:16,976 --> 00:11:20,275
He said he was worried
you may have traded
all your food for heroin?

242
00:11:23,182 --> 00:11:24,479
I'm going to go
to the bathroom.

243
00:11:28,054 --> 00:11:29,248
(SlGHS)

244
00:11:29,488 --> 00:11:30,512
Hey, hey, hey.

245
00:11:30,589 --> 00:11:33,114
Uh, that was really cute
what you did back there
with the drinks.

246
00:11:33,192 --> 00:11:34,682
Thanks for the fight.
Oh.

247
00:11:34,927 --> 00:11:38,294
I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to cause a rift
between you and your daughter.

248
00:11:39,498 --> 00:11:41,056
Do you have her
for the whole weekend?

249
00:11:41,634 --> 00:11:43,932
I met her two days ago.
At Build-a-Bear?

250
00:11:45,204 --> 00:11:46,603
Come on. She's 26.

251
00:11:46,672 --> 00:11:50,233
Okay. I'm 26.
She looks 10 years
younger than me.

252
00:11:50,409 --> 00:11:52,639
You know,
I'm not quite sure
who you're insulting.

253
00:11:52,712 --> 00:11:53,770
All right.

254
00:11:53,846 --> 00:11:55,006
So I'm more clear,

255
00:11:55,081 --> 00:11:56,639
you need to get some
product for that hair,

256
00:11:56,716 --> 00:11:58,308
because you look
like Courteney Cox.

257
00:11:59,185 --> 00:12:01,210
No, no, no.
Clean hair,
fresh shave.

258
00:12:01,287 --> 00:12:03,482
That's, like,
my thing.
Oh.

259
00:12:04,390 --> 00:12:05,755
Well, you should probably
get back to your date.

260
00:12:05,825 --> 00:12:07,520
She probably needs you
to cut up her hot dog.

261
00:12:07,760 --> 00:12:10,593
Well, you should probably
get back to your date.
He's dead.

262
00:12:11,597 --> 00:12:14,191
Your date is terrible.
Yeah, your date
is the worst.

263
00:12:15,468 --> 00:12:16,696
WOMAN: Hey!
What the hell?

264
00:12:17,636 --> 00:12:19,297
Hey. You know what?
I... I can't do this.

265
00:12:19,371 --> 00:12:20,861
My name's Alex.
Okay, great.

266
00:12:28,447 --> 00:12:29,505
Hello?

267
00:12:29,882 --> 00:12:30,871
Hey.

268
00:12:31,150 --> 00:12:33,948
I just got your message.
You had sex
in the bathroom?

269
00:12:34,253 --> 00:12:35,379
Yeah.

270
00:12:35,454 --> 00:12:36,546
When are you going
to see her again?

271
00:12:36,622 --> 00:12:37,748
I don't know.
I haven't called her.

272
00:12:37,823 --> 00:12:39,188
If you don't call her,
I'm going to call her.

273
00:12:39,258 --> 00:12:40,885
No. No, I don't
have her number.

274
00:12:40,960 --> 00:12:42,689
Oh. Well, did you
get a last name?

275
00:12:43,229 --> 00:12:47,063
No. I mean,
she said it was Cummings,
but that's obviously a joke.

276
00:12:48,868 --> 00:12:52,167
You had sex
in the men's bathroom?

277
00:12:53,305 --> 00:12:56,172
(CHUCKLlNG)
Thank God your feet never
touched the ground.

278
00:12:56,242 --> 00:12:59,336
Oh, my gosh.
This is so exciting.

279
00:12:59,779 --> 00:13:02,577
You know what?
I'm going to have
a second drink.

280
00:13:03,983 --> 00:13:04,972
(PHONE BEEPS)

281
00:13:06,218 --> 00:13:08,152
Oh, my God.
He texted me.

282
00:13:08,754 --> 00:13:11,052
How did he even
get my number?
What does it say?

283
00:13:12,057 --> 00:13:13,752
"l miss you."

284
00:13:14,160 --> 00:13:15,752
This guy does not
get me.

285
00:13:16,762 --> 00:13:17,751
(PHONE BEEPS)

286
00:13:19,131 --> 00:13:20,564
"My penis wrote that."

287
00:13:21,967 --> 00:13:23,400
He totally gets you.

288
00:13:24,036 --> 00:13:25,025
Text him back.

289
00:13:25,404 --> 00:13:26,894
No. No.

290
00:13:26,972 --> 00:13:30,135
Come on. Admit it.
You like this guy.

291
00:13:30,309 --> 00:13:33,278
Okay. Fine, I like him.

292
00:13:33,412 --> 00:13:37,508
Okay? He's really funny
and super smart

293
00:13:37,583 --> 00:13:39,574
and totally calls me
out on my crap.

294
00:13:39,652 --> 00:13:43,110
But I am not dumb enough
to think that I could have
something real with him. Okay?

295
00:13:43,189 --> 00:13:45,157
I mean, what kind
of person leaves their
date in a restaurant

296
00:13:45,224 --> 00:13:47,215
to go have sex
with someone
in a bathroom?

297
00:13:48,761 --> 00:13:49,750
You?

298
00:13:49,829 --> 00:13:53,230
Okay. Yeah, and I'm
a terrible person.

299
00:13:54,033 --> 00:13:58,060
Okay? I mean,
he's a random hook-up
and he's obviously a player.

300
00:13:58,137 --> 00:14:00,697
But he tracked you down.
(SlGHS)

301
00:14:00,773 --> 00:14:03,037
I mean, this guy
could be your soul mate.

302
00:14:04,109 --> 00:14:05,974
Come on. Don't you
believe in fate?

303
00:14:06,045 --> 00:14:07,273
Or destiny?

304
00:14:07,346 --> 00:14:10,042
Okay, I do not believe
in fate or destiny. Okay?

305
00:14:10,115 --> 00:14:12,083
Fate and destiny
are names of strippers

306
00:14:12,151 --> 00:14:14,676
who wind up being identified
by their dental records.

307
00:14:15,654 --> 00:14:17,417
Okay, our waitress
clearly quit.

308
00:14:17,489 --> 00:14:19,184
I'm going to go
get us drinks.

309
00:14:19,825 --> 00:14:20,849
Classic Whitney.

310
00:14:21,160 --> 00:14:23,321
Every time she likes a guy,
she pushes him away.

311
00:14:23,395 --> 00:14:25,124
I knew she wouldn't
text him back.

312
00:14:25,197 --> 00:14:26,596
Oh, she's
texting him back.

313
00:14:27,566 --> 00:14:28,931
Okay, but if you want
to sound like her,

314
00:14:29,001 --> 00:14:30,400
it has to be
something sexual.

315
00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:32,235
Okay. Uh...

316
00:14:32,872 --> 00:14:35,773
(LAUGHS) I feel like
I'm cheating on Lance.

317
00:14:36,342 --> 00:14:38,276
For God's sakes,
give it to me.

318
00:14:38,611 --> 00:14:40,738
(VOCALlZlNG)
"From behind."
Send.

319
00:14:40,813 --> 00:14:41,802
Oh!

320
00:14:44,917 --> 00:14:47,283
Okay. You guys, seriously.
Let's go. This place is dead.

321
00:14:47,353 --> 00:14:49,253
What? No. Dead? Are...
Are you kidding?

322
00:14:49,321 --> 00:14:50,720
I mean,
did you even notice...

323
00:14:50,789 --> 00:14:53,417
Look, there's
word jumbles
on the napkins.

324
00:14:53,559 --> 00:14:57,188
(SLURRlNG)
Plus, I'm so drunk
I can't even move.

325
00:14:57,263 --> 00:14:59,595
I just need to sit...
Okay, we can go.

326
00:14:59,665 --> 00:15:00,757
Oh.

327
00:15:05,004 --> 00:15:06,699
Hey.
Hi.

328
00:15:07,406 --> 00:15:08,634
What are you
doing here?

329
00:15:09,074 --> 00:15:10,837
Well, l...
I got your text.

330
00:15:10,910 --> 00:15:13,037
My text?
Yeah.

331
00:15:13,345 --> 00:15:14,835
Okay, I'm going
to kill them.

332
00:15:14,914 --> 00:15:17,940
I did not text you.
They texted you.

333
00:15:18,584 --> 00:15:20,211
Ah.
So...

334
00:15:20,719 --> 00:15:22,346
Well, uh...

335
00:15:23,055 --> 00:15:25,046
I'm here now.
Do you want to go hang out?

336
00:15:25,124 --> 00:15:27,058
Okay. You think you can
just say the word

337
00:15:27,126 --> 00:15:28,525
and I'm going to have
sex with you again?

338
00:15:29,828 --> 00:15:31,227
Well, no.

339
00:15:31,864 --> 00:15:34,594
I mean, yeah, that
would probably work.
But...

340
00:15:35,034 --> 00:15:38,561
And your friends made
some pretty big promises
on that text. But...

341
00:15:40,806 --> 00:15:43,070
I'm saying that we could
go somewhere else and...

342
00:15:43,142 --> 00:15:44,166
And just hang out.

343
00:15:44,710 --> 00:15:47,770
Okay, Alex.
You seem like
a very nice guy, Alex.

344
00:15:47,846 --> 00:15:49,711
Oh, Alex.
Look, I know
you know my name.

345
00:15:49,782 --> 00:15:51,682
But you're being an idiot.

346
00:15:51,750 --> 00:15:53,741
You just...
There's obviously
something here.

347
00:15:53,919 --> 00:15:56,183
Like what?
Most girls I date
are boring.

348
00:15:56,388 --> 00:15:58,356
And you know,
you surprise me.

349
00:15:58,424 --> 00:15:59,721
Mostly, it's the bad
kind of surprise.

350
00:15:59,792 --> 00:16:01,726
Yeah, sure.
Of course.

351
00:16:02,428 --> 00:16:05,056
But it's still a surprise.
And you know what?

352
00:16:05,130 --> 00:16:06,597
I don't how this ends.

353
00:16:06,665 --> 00:16:07,757
(SlGHS)

354
00:16:08,200 --> 00:16:11,795
I'm sorry, but I just
don't want a relationship.
Okay?

355
00:16:11,870 --> 00:16:16,603
I am on my own
and I like it that way.
So... (CLEARS THROAT)

356
00:16:16,875 --> 00:16:18,035
All right, tough guy.

357
00:16:18,110 --> 00:16:20,305
You think you're tough
because you've got sneakers.

358
00:16:22,381 --> 00:16:23,609
What are you doing?
Are you choking?

359
00:16:23,682 --> 00:16:25,206
Hey. Oh. Everybody,
give us some room.

360
00:16:25,284 --> 00:16:26,308
Give us some room.
Here. Here we go.

361
00:16:26,385 --> 00:16:27,443
Okay...
One, two, three.

362
00:16:27,519 --> 00:16:28,577
I'm okay. Okay.
Come on.

363
00:16:28,654 --> 00:16:30,053
I'm fine.
Shut up. Breathe!

364
00:16:30,122 --> 00:16:32,488
It's... I'm fine.

365
00:16:33,392 --> 00:16:36,919
It was an ice cube.
It melted. I'm fine.
Okay.

366
00:16:37,496 --> 00:16:38,724
Thank you.

367
00:16:39,365 --> 00:16:41,390
Yeah, you're welcome.

368
00:16:42,468 --> 00:16:44,493
You just tried
to save me.
That was...

369
00:16:45,437 --> 00:16:47,632
No guy I've ever dated
would have done that.

370
00:16:49,108 --> 00:16:51,440
What kind of guys
have you been dating?

371
00:16:56,648 --> 00:16:59,276
I told Lance he was
not allowed to come.

372
00:16:59,985 --> 00:17:01,680
Just us girls.

373
00:17:01,920 --> 00:17:04,388
Am I drunk?
Because if I am,
I like it.

374
00:17:04,990 --> 00:17:07,220
You've had two drinks.
It gets way better.

375
00:17:07,292 --> 00:17:09,692
(GASPS) Oh.
We should order Jägerbombs.

376
00:17:09,762 --> 00:17:11,992
You know,
because we still haven't
seen each other naked.

377
00:17:12,064 --> 00:17:14,897
Well, okay. (LAUGHS)

378
00:17:14,967 --> 00:17:17,663
(CELL PHONE RlNGlNG)
Hang on.
That's Lance.

379
00:17:20,506 --> 00:17:22,770
You know what?
I'll just let it
go to voicemail.

380
00:17:23,542 --> 00:17:25,009
Hey, I'm sorry.

381
00:17:25,177 --> 00:17:27,611
You know,
that I get annoyed
you're always with Lance.

382
00:17:27,679 --> 00:17:29,544
I think maybe
I'm just jealous.

383
00:17:30,115 --> 00:17:31,776
You guys seem like
the perfect couple.

384
00:17:31,850 --> 00:17:34,842
And sometimes,
I just wish I could
meet the right guy.

385
00:17:37,022 --> 00:17:39,718
Uh, Lance and l
are not the
perfect couple.

386
00:17:39,792 --> 00:17:41,919
We fight a lot.
I know it seems
like we don't, but...

387
00:17:41,994 --> 00:17:43,393
We do.

388
00:17:43,462 --> 00:17:44,690
Yeah, but that...
That's okay.

389
00:17:44,763 --> 00:17:46,162
I mean, everyone fights.
It just makes you normal.

390
00:17:46,231 --> 00:17:47,858
Yeah. No. Yeah.
(SCOFFS) You're right.

391
00:17:47,933 --> 00:17:50,333
I mean, we're probably
just going through
a tough time.

392
00:17:50,836 --> 00:17:53,134
You see? This is good.
This is why
we have girl time.

393
00:17:53,205 --> 00:17:54,331
So we can
open up.

394
00:17:54,440 --> 00:17:56,271
Yeah. We thought
that having a baby
might solve it,

395
00:17:56,341 --> 00:17:58,002
but we just have not
been able to get pregnant.

396
00:17:58,077 --> 00:18:00,272
You know, the doctor
thinks I might have
a tipped uterus. So...

397
00:18:00,345 --> 00:18:01,403
Uh-huh.
Wow, okay.

398
00:18:01,480 --> 00:18:02,845
Throwing it
wide open.

399
00:18:07,219 --> 00:18:09,244
You know, I'm kind of
disappointed in you.

400
00:18:09,321 --> 00:18:11,687
It's predictable
and not surprising at all

401
00:18:11,757 --> 00:18:13,384
to sleep with the guy
that saved your life.

402
00:18:13,459 --> 00:18:14,983
Okay. You did not
save my life.

403
00:18:15,060 --> 00:18:16,084
And I'm not
going to sleep.

404
00:18:16,161 --> 00:18:17,992
Whoa. Hold on.
You're not going
to spend the night?

405
00:18:18,063 --> 00:18:19,462
No. That's not
my thing.

406
00:18:20,099 --> 00:18:21,123
That's not your thing.
Uh-uh.

407
00:18:21,200 --> 00:18:24,192
Got it. Look. Uh, hey.
I think you should go.

408
00:18:26,138 --> 00:18:27,503
Excuse me?
Yeah.

409
00:18:27,573 --> 00:18:31,134
If you're not going to
spend the night, then...
I think you should go.

410
00:18:32,077 --> 00:18:34,773
Okay. You're not going
to sleep with me?

411
00:18:37,249 --> 00:18:39,114
Nuh-uh.
Bye-bye.

412
00:18:40,886 --> 00:18:42,080
Okay. What game is this?

413
00:18:42,154 --> 00:18:43,587
Because I will play
and I will win.

414
00:18:43,655 --> 00:18:45,589
I just need to know
the rules.

415
00:18:45,657 --> 00:18:46,954
No. Look,
it's not a game.

416
00:18:47,025 --> 00:18:49,255
I don't want to play
a game with you.
I like you. Okay?

417
00:18:49,328 --> 00:18:51,660
The whole thing
where we hook up
and then you leave?

418
00:18:51,730 --> 00:18:53,459
I do that, too.
But I don't want to
do that with you.

419
00:18:53,532 --> 00:18:54,692
All right? Trust me.

420
00:18:54,766 --> 00:18:58,293
I can get a much less
exhausting version
of that with other girls.

421
00:19:00,239 --> 00:19:02,434
Okay, well...
So, I'm just going
to sleep here?

422
00:19:03,108 --> 00:19:04,700
No. You're going
to sleep here.

423
00:19:04,776 --> 00:19:06,471
All right?
Because I sleep here.

424
00:19:06,979 --> 00:19:10,881
And if you're still
here in the morning, then
this is happening. Okay?

425
00:19:12,017 --> 00:19:13,382
So, goodnight.

426
00:19:13,986 --> 00:19:15,613
And hopefully,
you're here
in the morning.

427
00:19:16,889 --> 00:19:18,720
Okay, I know
what this game is.

428
00:19:18,790 --> 00:19:21,691
It's not a game.
Shut up. Go to sleep.

429
00:19:58,764 --> 00:20:00,493
Ha-ha!
You're my girlfriend.

430
00:20:11,543 --> 00:20:13,204
Three years later,
and we're still here.

431
00:20:13,378 --> 00:20:16,438
I guess you have
to admit Mark's
48-hour-rule was true.

432
00:20:16,515 --> 00:20:17,880
Okay. I liked you.

433
00:20:17,950 --> 00:20:19,747
But it wasn't until
three in the morning.

434
00:20:19,818 --> 00:20:22,878
So, technically,
that's 53 hours.

435
00:20:22,988 --> 00:20:24,819
Oh, I guess we should
just call it, then.

436
00:20:24,890 --> 00:20:26,255
You know, it's probably
for the best.

437
00:20:26,325 --> 00:20:28,486
It's been a long time
since you surprised me.

438
00:20:30,162 --> 00:20:31,925
(LAUGHS)

439
00:20:33,365 --> 00:20:34,593
That was a surprise.

440
00:20:35,200 --> 00:20:36,394
You know,
what would surprise me

441
00:20:36,468 --> 00:20:38,595
would be if you
cleaned it up.
(LAUGHS)

442
00:20:39,338 --> 00:20:40,771
Okay, fine.
I'll give you a real one.

443
00:20:40,839 --> 00:20:42,363
Something I've never
told you before

444
00:20:42,441 --> 00:20:46,036
is, the morning after
I saw you at the restaurant,
I looked you up.

445
00:20:46,245 --> 00:20:48,577
I knew it.
You were into me
from day two.

446
00:20:48,680 --> 00:20:50,910
You insulted me,
you had sex with me
in a bathroom,

447
00:20:50,983 --> 00:20:52,109
and you told me
to leave.

448
00:20:52,184 --> 00:20:54,049
I mean,
I'm only human.

449
00:20:54,820 --> 00:20:56,720
(LAUGHS)