1
00:00:04,546 --> 00:00:07,256
-lt was a nice retirement party.
-l guess.

2
00:00:07,465 --> 00:00:11,176
Still, it's a shame Professor Rothman
was forced to step down.

3
00:00:11,386 --> 00:00:13,971
Well, what choice
did the university have? He snapped.

4
00:00:14,180 --> 00:00:17,099
lt happens to theoretical physicists
all the time.

5
00:00:17,767 --> 00:00:20,477
l wonder how long Sheldon's got.

6
00:00:21,563 --> 00:00:23,480
These shrimp are all the same size.

7
00:00:23,690 --> 00:00:25,733
There's no logical order
to eat them in.

8
00:00:28,111 --> 00:00:30,446
Can't be very long.

9
00:00:31,197 --> 00:00:33,532
Hey, look,
there's Rothman's empty office.

10
00:00:34,242 --> 00:00:35,409
-Sad.
-Yeah.

11
00:00:35,618 --> 00:00:37,703
-lndeed.
-So sad.

12
00:00:38,288 --> 00:00:40,247
Dibs.

13
00:00:43,209 --> 00:00:44,793
What's up, fellas?

14
00:00:45,003 --> 00:00:46,795
What are you doing here, Kripke?

15
00:00:47,005 --> 00:00:49,506
Measuring my new office for drapes.

16
00:00:49,716 --> 00:00:52,676
This is not your office.
lt hasn't been assigned yet.

17
00:00:52,886 --> 00:00:56,138
l called dibs at Christmas when
Rothman tried to have intercourse...

18
00:00:56,347 --> 00:00:58,390
...with the Toys for Tots
collection box.

19
00:00:58,892 --> 00:01:01,810
Dibs? l mean, this is a university,
not a playground.

20
00:01:02,020 --> 00:01:04,646
Offices are not assigned
because someone called dibs.

21
00:01:04,856 --> 00:01:07,191
-You just called dibs.
-Shut it.

22
00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:11,653
Offices are assigned by seniority.
l arrived at the university first.

23
00:01:11,863 --> 00:01:15,866
l arrived at the office first.
l'm the proverbial early bird.

24
00:01:16,951 --> 00:01:18,535
-Gentlemen.
-Mr. Rothman.

25
00:01:18,745 --> 00:01:21,038
-Professor Rothman.
-Professor Rothman.

26
00:01:23,333 --> 00:01:24,875
Good evening.

27
00:01:25,085 --> 00:01:27,044
LEONARD: Good evening.
-See you.

28
00:01:29,547 --> 00:01:31,632
l'm glad
that men are wearing hats again.

29
00:01:33,009 --> 00:01:35,344
They're so distinguished.

30
00:02:03,164 --> 00:02:05,999
-l got you a little something.
-A little something?

31
00:02:06,209 --> 00:02:08,293
Oh, it--

32
00:02:10,839 --> 00:02:12,256
What? This is huge.

33
00:02:12,465 --> 00:02:14,424
What's huge is what you've done
for me.

34
00:02:14,634 --> 00:02:16,593
Oh, no, Amy, l haven't done anything.

35
00:02:16,803 --> 00:02:19,346
No, no. Before l met you,
l was a mousy wallflower.

36
00:02:19,556 --> 00:02:20,597
But look at me now.

37
00:02:20,807 --> 00:02:23,809
l'm like some kind
of downtown hipster party girl...

38
00:02:24,352 --> 00:02:26,228
...with a posse, a boyfriend...

39
00:02:26,437 --> 00:02:29,439
...and a new lace bra
that hooks in the front, of all things.

40
00:02:30,483 --> 00:02:34,027
-Open it, open it.
-Okay.

41
00:02:42,829 --> 00:02:45,164
l wanted to get you something
you didn't have.

44
00:02:57,510 --> 00:02:58,886
So where you gonna hang it?

45
00:02:59,095 --> 00:03:01,930
Oh, my Go-- Hang it. Wow. Um....

46
00:03:02,140 --> 00:03:05,392
You know, l'd have to get a hook
and nails and a hammer, and--

47
00:03:05,602 --> 00:03:06,894
-No problem.
-Oh, look.

48
00:03:07,395 --> 00:03:11,273
You've got-- You just--
You got it all right there. Wow.

49
00:03:17,488 --> 00:03:19,865
l found him. He's in the bathroom.

50
00:03:20,074 --> 00:03:22,534
-President Seibert?
-Can't this wait?

51
00:03:22,744 --> 00:03:24,369
l'm sorry, we just need a word.

52
00:03:24,579 --> 00:03:28,624
Now? You realize l'm your boss
and l am holding my penis.

53
00:03:28,833 --> 00:03:31,335
Sheldon, give the man some privacy.

54
00:03:31,544 --> 00:03:34,671
l'm sorry, this guy's got no respect
for boundaries.

55
00:03:35,423 --> 00:03:36,840
What do you want?

56
00:03:37,050 --> 00:03:40,093
Will you tell this lunatic
that Rothman's office is mine?

57
00:03:40,303 --> 00:03:42,721
Take this up with your
department chairman.

58
00:03:42,931 --> 00:03:45,098
His assistant said
he was on sabbatical.

59
00:03:45,308 --> 00:03:49,102
Although, we distinctly heard
his office window open and shut.

60
00:03:49,312 --> 00:03:52,189
Gentlemen, there's a task
l'm trying to accomplish here...

61
00:03:52,398 --> 00:03:54,524
-...and l'm having trouble doing it.
-Oh, my.

62
00:03:54,734 --> 00:03:57,236
President Seibert,
l don't mean to be an alarmist...

63
00:03:57,445 --> 00:03:59,613
...but difficulty initiating
a urine stream...

64
00:03:59,822 --> 00:04:02,407
...could be a symptom
of benign prostatic hyperplasia.

65
00:04:03,326 --> 00:04:06,411
lf you're interested, l can send you a link
to a YouTube video...

66
00:04:06,621 --> 00:04:09,915
...that'll show you
how to perform your own rectal exam.

67
00:04:10,291 --> 00:04:14,336
Yeah, helpful hint:
trim your nails first.

68
00:04:15,922 --> 00:04:17,339
lgnore him, President Seibert.

69
00:04:17,548 --> 00:04:21,176
l'm sure a young man such as yourself
has a perfectly healthy prostate.

70
00:04:21,386 --> 00:04:23,679
Oh, he's just trying to butter you up.

71
00:04:23,888 --> 00:04:28,267
And for the record, butter is an excellent
lubricant for your rectal exam.

72
00:04:28,476 --> 00:04:31,186
Gentlemen, l'm going to allow you
to work this out...

73
00:04:31,396 --> 00:04:33,522
...because, A,
you're brilliant scientists...

74
00:04:33,731 --> 00:04:36,066
...and, B,
as far as who gets Rothman's office...

75
00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:38,777
...l couldn't give the furry crack
of a rat's behind.

76
00:04:43,908 --> 00:04:46,952
Well, as long as we're here,
l might as well take a leak.

77
00:04:50,665 --> 00:04:52,291
-Kripke?
-Yes?

78
00:04:52,500 --> 00:04:54,209
You're in my spot.

79
00:05:08,683 --> 00:05:10,225
[SlGHS]

80
00:05:12,145 --> 00:05:14,521
That is big.

81
00:05:14,814 --> 00:05:16,940
So big.

82
00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:19,609
-And ugly.
-So ugly.

83
00:05:20,862 --> 00:05:22,112
What am l gonna do?

84
00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:25,240
l don't know. You can't take it down.
You'll break her heart.

85
00:05:25,867 --> 00:05:27,492
Look at that face.

86
00:05:27,702 --> 00:05:32,539
That enormous, unsettling, crazy face.

87
00:05:34,876 --> 00:05:36,793
Any chance l'll learn to love it?

88
00:05:37,003 --> 00:05:40,589
That depends, do you like pictures
of yourself where you look like a man?

89
00:05:43,760 --> 00:05:47,137
-All right. lt's gotta go.
-What will you tell Amy?

90
00:05:47,347 --> 00:05:51,266
How about l tell her the painting makes
you feel jealous because you're not in it?

91
00:05:51,476 --> 00:05:54,603
Oh, nuh-uh. What if she gets me one?

92
00:05:56,773 --> 00:05:59,107
l already have a picture of
me and Howard's mom...

93
00:05:59,317 --> 00:06:02,611
...getting our hair cornrowed
in Venice Beach. l've suffered enough.

94
00:06:02,820 --> 00:06:06,656
l could take it down and put it up when
she comes over, but it's kind of heavy.

95
00:06:07,283 --> 00:06:10,744
Too bad you're not as strong
as the dude in the painting.

96
00:06:14,332 --> 00:06:15,415
Would you look at this?

97
00:06:15,625 --> 00:06:19,878
l paid $25 to some kid on eBay
for a handcrafted Harry Potter wand.

98
00:06:20,088 --> 00:06:22,589
He sent me a stick.

99
00:06:25,093 --> 00:06:28,220
He went into his backyard,
he picked up a stick.

100
00:06:29,764 --> 00:06:31,723
lt's numbered. Heh.

101
00:06:31,933 --> 00:06:34,393
Ooh. Limited edition. Nice.

102
00:06:35,103 --> 00:06:36,144
[KNOCK ON DOOR]

103
00:06:36,354 --> 00:06:38,688
-Oh, that'll be Kripke.
-What's he doing here?

104
00:06:38,898 --> 00:06:41,775
We're going to work
this office situation out like gentlemen.

105
00:06:41,984 --> 00:06:44,694
And if that doesn't work,
l'm going to poison his tea.

106
00:06:46,114 --> 00:06:48,407
-Cooper.
-Kripke. Come in.

107
00:06:49,575 --> 00:06:52,786
l'm making tea. Would you like a cup?

108
00:06:52,995 --> 00:06:55,914
Am l wearing a summer frock?
No, l don't want tea.

109
00:06:57,291 --> 00:06:59,376
Let's get down to brass tacks.

110
00:06:59,585 --> 00:07:03,088
Fine. ln the interest
of preserving our friendship--

111
00:07:03,297 --> 00:07:05,090
-We're not friends.
-Well...

112
00:07:05,299 --> 00:07:08,301
...that's a little hard to hear,
but all right.

113
00:07:08,511 --> 00:07:12,848
As you know, the essence of diplomacy
is compromise.

114
00:07:13,057 --> 00:07:15,600
With that in mind,
l propose the following.

115
00:07:15,810 --> 00:07:18,311
l will take Rothman's office...

116
00:07:18,521 --> 00:07:22,441
...and you will find a way
to be okay with that.

117
00:07:24,026 --> 00:07:28,697
How about l take Rothman's office
and you go suck a lemon?

118
00:07:32,243 --> 00:07:33,660
[CHUCKLES]

119
00:07:35,830 --> 00:07:37,956
You sure l can't get you
that cup of tea?

120
00:07:38,666 --> 00:07:43,378
How about you decide this with
Rock, Paper, Scissors, Lizard, Spock?

121
00:07:44,672 --> 00:07:46,089
What the frig is that?

122
00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:49,134
Rock, Paper, Scissors, Lizard, Spock...

123
00:07:49,343 --> 00:07:51,845
...was created by lnternet pioneer
Sam Kass...

124
00:07:52,054 --> 00:07:54,681
...as an improvement
on the game Rock, Paper, Scissors.

125
00:07:54,891 --> 00:07:56,057
All hail Sam Kass.

126
00:07:56,267 --> 00:07:58,018
ALL:
Hail.

127
00:07:59,312 --> 00:08:00,395
How does it work?

128
00:08:00,605 --> 00:08:01,646
Oh, it's very simple.

129
00:08:01,856 --> 00:08:04,441
Scissors cuts paper,
paper covers rock...

130
00:08:04,650 --> 00:08:07,319
...rock crushes lizard,
lizard poisons Spock...

131
00:08:07,528 --> 00:08:10,655
...Spock smashes scissors,
scissors decapitates lizard...

132
00:08:10,865 --> 00:08:13,533
...lizard eats paper,
paper disproves Spock...

133
00:08:13,743 --> 00:08:15,494
...Spock vaporizes rock...

134
00:08:15,703 --> 00:08:18,997
...and, as it always has,
rock crushes scissors.

135
00:08:23,294 --> 00:08:24,961
l'm sorry, can you repeat that?

136
00:08:26,255 --> 00:08:29,216
Well, of course.
Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock...

137
00:08:29,425 --> 00:08:31,635
...rock crushes lizard,
lizard poisons Spock...

138
00:08:31,844 --> 00:08:34,513
...Spock smashes scissors,
scissors decapitates lizard...

139
00:08:34,722 --> 00:08:36,848
...lizard eats paper,
paper disproves Spock...

140
00:08:37,058 --> 00:08:38,266
...Spock vaporizes rock...

141
00:08:38,476 --> 00:08:41,645
...and, as it always has,
rock crushes scissors.

142
00:08:44,190 --> 00:08:45,607
Almost got it. One more time.

143
00:08:45,816 --> 00:08:47,651
Scissors cuts paper,
paper covers rock--

144
00:08:47,860 --> 00:08:50,612
Sheldon, stop.
He's screwing with you.

145
00:08:51,822 --> 00:08:53,323
ls he?

146
00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:56,618
Well, then,
seems we have reached an impasse.

147
00:08:56,827 --> 00:08:59,913
l see no other option
than to challenge you to a duel.

148
00:09:00,122 --> 00:09:04,167
l'd smack you with a glove, but just last
week, l packed away my winter things.

149
00:09:05,461 --> 00:09:08,380
lt's the 21 st century,
you can't have a duel.

150
00:09:08,589 --> 00:09:10,882
Hang on, Howard.

151
00:09:13,386 --> 00:09:15,720
Barry, how good of a shot are you?

152
00:09:16,389 --> 00:09:18,682
Not pistols. Minds.

153
00:09:18,891 --> 00:09:22,018
A trivia contest.
And you may choose the field of battle.

154
00:09:22,228 --> 00:09:25,313
Star Trek trivia,
Star Trek: Next Generation trivia...

155
00:09:25,523 --> 00:09:29,109
...Star Trek: Deep Space Nine trivia,
Star Trek: Voyagertrivia...

156
00:09:29,318 --> 00:09:31,611
...or model trains.

157
00:09:32,947 --> 00:09:35,907
You have an advantage in trivia.
You have an eidetic memory.

158
00:09:36,117 --> 00:09:37,826
Plus, l haven't watched Star Trek...

159
00:09:38,035 --> 00:09:41,955
...since l discovered the strip club
near my apartment has a free buffet.

160
00:09:43,207 --> 00:09:46,126
lt's hard to find something
you're both equally good at.

161
00:09:46,335 --> 00:09:48,378
ls there anything
you're equally bad at?

162
00:09:48,879 --> 00:09:50,839
-Sports.
-Sports.

163
00:09:54,135 --> 00:09:57,137
All right, this is one-on-one,
first to five wins the office.

164
00:09:57,346 --> 00:09:59,055
Any questions? Yes, Sheldon.

165
00:09:59,265 --> 00:10:01,099
Five what?

166
00:10:02,810 --> 00:10:04,102
Balls in the basket.

167
00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:08,857
[SQUEALS]

168
00:10:15,573 --> 00:10:16,656
[YELLS]

169
00:10:21,412 --> 00:10:23,163
That's out, right?

170
00:10:32,256 --> 00:10:34,799
Time. Ran out of room.

171
00:10:38,137 --> 00:10:40,930
You know those terrible things
bullies used to do to us?

172
00:10:41,140 --> 00:10:43,892
-Yeah?
-l get it.

173
00:10:49,690 --> 00:10:51,358
KRlPKE: Uhn!
SHELDON: Ow!

174
00:10:55,071 --> 00:10:56,821
Hey!

175
00:10:57,031 --> 00:10:59,366
-He did that on purpose.
-No, he didn't.

176
00:10:59,575 --> 00:11:03,119
Nothing that's happening here
is being done on purpose.

177
00:11:04,163 --> 00:11:08,249
Okay, forget one-on-one.
Let's try a free-throw contest.

178
00:11:08,459 --> 00:11:11,127
First person who makes a basket
wins the office.

179
00:11:11,337 --> 00:11:15,507
-Making it too easy there, Hofstadter.
-Nope. No, l'm not.

180
00:11:18,886 --> 00:11:22,972
Use the Force, Sheldon.
Use the Force.

181
00:11:26,727 --> 00:11:29,062
l'm gonna need more Force.

182
00:11:30,398 --> 00:11:33,483
All right, Cooper.
Prepare to have your heart broken.

183
00:11:34,735 --> 00:11:36,236
[BALL THUDS]

184
00:11:38,447 --> 00:11:40,532
Do l get points for that?

185
00:11:52,002 --> 00:11:53,503
Hah!

186
00:11:55,965 --> 00:11:59,467
[SHELDON & KRlPKE
GASPlNG & PANTlNG]

187
00:12:00,886 --> 00:12:02,554
All right, we gave it 45 minutes.

188
00:12:02,763 --> 00:12:05,849
lt's no longer funny.
Let's try something else.

189
00:12:06,434 --> 00:12:07,642
What do you propose?

190
00:12:07,852 --> 00:12:11,271
Uh-- On three, both of you
bounce the balls as hard as you can.

191
00:12:11,480 --> 00:12:12,981
Highest bounce wins the office.

192
00:12:13,190 --> 00:12:14,983
Oh, you are going down, Cooper.

193
00:12:15,192 --> 00:12:16,359
l don't think so, Kripke.

194
00:12:16,569 --> 00:12:18,820
l've bounced many a rubber ball
in my day.

195
00:12:19,029 --> 00:12:21,030
All right. That's enough trash talk.

196
00:12:23,284 --> 00:12:26,870
One, two, three.

197
00:12:28,497 --> 00:12:30,081
Sheldon was higher.

198
00:12:30,291 --> 00:12:32,709
Congratulations, Sheldon,
you win the office.

199
00:12:32,918 --> 00:12:35,628
Who's unsatisfactory in PE now?

200
00:12:39,175 --> 00:12:40,925
MAN & WOMAN [SlNGlNG OVER TV]:
We go together

201
00:12:41,135 --> 00:12:44,429
Like rama lama lama
Ke ding a de dinga a dong

202
00:12:44,638 --> 00:12:46,389
Oh, what a great movie.

203
00:12:46,599 --> 00:12:48,725
l cannot believe
you've never seen Grease.

204
00:12:48,934 --> 00:12:50,685
My mother didn't allow me
to watch it.

205
00:12:50,895 --> 00:12:53,646
She was afraid it might encourage me
to join a gang.

206
00:12:55,441 --> 00:12:57,650
l gotta go. l gotta get up early.

207
00:12:57,860 --> 00:13:01,196
My company's testing a new steroid
that doesn't shrink testicles...

208
00:13:01,405 --> 00:13:04,449
...and the last one there
has to do the measuring.

209
00:13:05,284 --> 00:13:08,036
Guess l should get going too.

210
00:13:08,913 --> 00:13:11,247
Good night, painting Penny.

211
00:13:11,957 --> 00:13:13,458
Good night, real Penny.

212
00:13:14,543 --> 00:13:15,794
Good night, real Amy.

213
00:13:17,087 --> 00:13:20,965
You don't have to say good night
to painting Amy, she's never leaving.

214
00:13:24,220 --> 00:13:26,846
-Good night, real Penny.
-Bye.

215
00:13:27,056 --> 00:13:29,140
Good night, transvestite Penny.

216
00:13:30,559 --> 00:13:31,643
[DOOR CLOSES]

217
00:13:31,852 --> 00:13:32,894
[SlGHS]

218
00:13:33,103 --> 00:13:36,898
Okay, let us take you off the wall.

219
00:13:37,191 --> 00:13:38,233
[GRUNTS]

220
00:13:38,442 --> 00:13:41,778
Out of sight, out of mind.

221
00:13:41,987 --> 00:13:43,822
l wish.

222
00:13:46,575 --> 00:13:47,992
Can l borrow that movie?

223
00:13:48,202 --> 00:13:50,912
Those singing hooligans
really got my motor running.

224
00:13:51,747 --> 00:13:53,081
Sure, sure. Enjoy.

225
00:13:53,290 --> 00:13:55,708
You get it back to me
when you can or--

226
00:13:55,918 --> 00:13:58,127
You keep it.
lt's just gonna be my gift to you.

227
00:13:58,337 --> 00:14:01,798
Thank you. Wait--
Where'd the painting go?

228
00:14:02,466 --> 00:14:05,510
-lt's right over there.
-Why?

229
00:14:07,096 --> 00:14:10,139
l have no idea. That is weird.

230
00:14:12,518 --> 00:14:13,726
You hate it.

231
00:14:13,936 --> 00:14:17,814
-No, no, no. lt's just-- lt's a little big.
-l feel like an idiot.

232
00:14:18,023 --> 00:14:20,358
You're not an idiot.
Just help me put it back up.

233
00:14:20,568 --> 00:14:22,527
So you can just take it down
when l leave?

234
00:14:22,736 --> 00:14:24,946
-l don't need your pity.
-Oh, Amy, come on.

235
00:14:25,155 --> 00:14:28,283
l'm just glad
l didn't go for the sculpture.

236
00:14:32,371 --> 00:14:34,789
Ahh. The spoils.

237
00:14:34,999 --> 00:14:36,499
l see why victors love them.

238
00:14:38,168 --> 00:14:40,503
l'm happy for you, Sheldon,
but l have to admit...

239
00:14:40,713 --> 00:14:42,672
...l'm going to miss
sharing an office with you.

240
00:14:42,882 --> 00:14:44,173
Oh, of course you are.

241
00:14:44,383 --> 00:14:46,092
Well, feel free to drop by any time.

242
00:14:46,302 --> 00:14:48,303
-Thank you.
-Yeah. Call first.

243
00:14:54,894 --> 00:14:56,227
Oh, hello.

244
00:14:58,606 --> 00:14:59,647
Professor Rothman.

245
00:14:59,857 --> 00:15:02,859
This isn't your office anymore.
You're retired.

246
00:15:03,777 --> 00:15:08,072
l think the word you're looking for
is "invisible."

247
00:15:13,329 --> 00:15:14,662
l came to say l'm sorry.

248
00:15:14,872 --> 00:15:16,998
-Don't bother.
-Oh, Amy, please.

249
00:15:17,207 --> 00:15:20,627
l'm so humiliated. l sat there the whole
time we were watching Grease...

250
00:15:20,836 --> 00:15:23,171
-...thinking you liked the painting.
-l know.

251
00:15:23,380 --> 00:15:25,089
l was a fool from "summer loving"...

252
00:15:25,299 --> 00:15:28,092
...to the last "rama lama lama
ke ding a de dinga a dong."

253
00:15:29,261 --> 00:15:30,595
You're absolutely right.

254
00:15:30,804 --> 00:15:33,973
l should have been honest
and told you the gift was too much.

255
00:15:34,433 --> 00:15:38,102
Yes, too much. Because our friendship
is fundamentally asymmetrical.

256
00:15:38,312 --> 00:15:41,230
l clearly like you
more than you like me.

257
00:15:41,440 --> 00:15:44,567
l don't think you put a number
on how much one person likes another.

258
00:15:44,777 --> 00:15:47,320
l bought you a painting
that's 12 square feet in area.

259
00:15:47,529 --> 00:15:48,613
There's a number.

260
00:15:49,573 --> 00:15:50,657
Amy, come--

261
00:15:50,866 --> 00:15:54,827
lf you don't like feet, you can try dollars.
The painting set me back 3 grand.

262
00:15:55,120 --> 00:15:56,996
Three gr--? Oh, my God.

263
00:15:58,832 --> 00:16:02,418
Look, Amy, all you need to know
is you are my friend.

264
00:16:02,628 --> 00:16:04,545
l don't wanna lose you out of my life.

265
00:16:05,005 --> 00:16:08,091
l'm sorry, l'm just having trouble
believing you right now.

266
00:16:11,261 --> 00:16:13,513
-Grab your hammer.
-No, damage is done.

267
00:16:16,308 --> 00:16:18,434
Okay, look, l didn't wanna say this...

268
00:16:18,644 --> 00:16:22,063
...but the real reason
l took the painting down...

269
00:16:22,272 --> 00:16:25,483
...was because it made Bernadette
very jealous.

270
00:16:26,944 --> 00:16:28,027
Oh, my goodness.

271
00:16:28,237 --> 00:16:30,405
How could l have not seen that?

272
00:16:30,614 --> 00:16:33,574
The painting is a constant reminder
that of the three of us...

273
00:16:33,784 --> 00:16:36,035
...she is the least cool.

274
00:16:37,705 --> 00:16:40,248
Yeah, that's what it is, so....

275
00:16:40,457 --> 00:16:44,377
-You have such a good heart.
-Oh. l try.

276
00:16:44,586 --> 00:16:47,797
-Come on.
-Well, where are we going?

277
00:16:48,007 --> 00:16:49,549
We're gonna put this back up.

278
00:16:49,758 --> 00:16:50,883
What about Bernadette?

279
00:16:51,093 --> 00:16:54,178
Oh, screw her. She's just lucky
we let her hang out with us.

280
00:16:56,974 --> 00:16:58,975
[WHlRRlNG]

281
00:17:16,994 --> 00:17:18,036
What are you doing?

282
00:17:18,245 --> 00:17:20,413
l'm trying to raise the temperature
in here...

283
00:17:20,622 --> 00:17:23,374
...before my nipples
tear through my shirt.

284
00:17:24,168 --> 00:17:26,836
Why don't you
just turn up the thermostat?

285
00:17:27,046 --> 00:17:28,463
Aha. Good question.

286
00:17:28,672 --> 00:17:32,175
lt turns out that the thermostat
for my new office isn't in my new office.

287
00:17:32,384 --> 00:17:35,094
No, it's next door
in Professor Davenport's office...

288
00:17:35,304 --> 00:17:38,890
...who is currently enjoying the hot
flashes associated with menopause.

289
00:17:40,476 --> 00:17:41,768
Why is there a hole here?

290
00:17:41,977 --> 00:17:44,062
Why is there a hole in my new office?

291
00:17:44,271 --> 00:17:46,481
l've narrowed it down
to two possibilities.

292
00:17:46,690 --> 00:17:50,401
There was something in the wall
that someone outside the wall wanted.

293
00:17:50,611 --> 00:17:51,903
Or the more disturbing...

294
00:17:52,112 --> 00:17:54,947
...there was something in the wall
that wanted out.

295
00:17:56,742 --> 00:17:59,160
At least you got a window that opens.
That's nice.

296
00:17:59,369 --> 00:18:02,205
Oh. ls it? Listen.

297
00:18:02,414 --> 00:18:03,456
[WlND CHlMES TlNKLlNG]

298
00:18:03,665 --> 00:18:07,043
-What, you don't like wind chimes?
-No, l hate them, but it gets worse.

299
00:18:08,962 --> 00:18:10,004
[BlRD TwEETlNG]

300
00:18:10,214 --> 00:18:12,590
-There it is.
-The bird?

301
00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:16,219
Yeah, it's completely out of tune
with the wind chimes.

302
00:18:16,428 --> 00:18:18,429
-So?
-You don't get it, do you?

303
00:18:18,639 --> 00:18:21,557
That's a mockingbird.
Mockingbirds can change their song...

304
00:18:21,767 --> 00:18:23,810
...which means
he's out of tune on purpose.

305
00:18:25,354 --> 00:18:26,854
He's mocking me.

306
00:18:27,064 --> 00:18:28,106
[RUMBLlNG]

307
00:18:28,315 --> 00:18:30,274
Oh, dear, there it is again.
Do you feel it?

308
00:18:30,484 --> 00:18:34,320
The growing realization
that you are one wacky bastard? Yep.

309
00:18:34,780 --> 00:18:36,405
No. The vibration.

310
00:18:36,615 --> 00:18:38,741
We are directly
underneath the geology lab...

311
00:18:38,951 --> 00:18:41,244
...and they're running
their sieve shakers again.

312
00:18:41,453 --> 00:18:43,579
Hey, gravel monkeys,
you need to shake rocks?

313
00:18:43,789 --> 00:18:45,873
Try jiggling your heads around!

314
00:18:46,333 --> 00:18:48,876
-Sheldon, relax.
-How can l relax?

315
00:18:49,086 --> 00:18:52,380
My nervous system is being
stretched out like the strings of a harp...

316
00:18:52,589 --> 00:18:55,049
...and plucked by holes
and birds and wind...

317
00:18:55,259 --> 00:18:59,846
...and the low-hanging scrotum of the
difficult-to-evict Professor Rothman.

318
00:19:01,431 --> 00:19:04,100
lf you're not happy,
just let Kripke have the office.

319
00:19:04,309 --> 00:19:07,436
Wait, and let him win?
Do l look crazy to you?

320
00:19:07,646 --> 00:19:11,566
We're trying to think down here,
you geode-loving feldspar jockeys!

321
00:19:11,775 --> 00:19:15,528
And you,
the notes are C, D, E, G and A.

322
00:19:15,737 --> 00:19:18,322
You pick one
or l'm chopping down that tree!

323
00:19:24,079 --> 00:19:27,623
-How's that?
-Little higher on the right.

324
00:19:28,208 --> 00:19:29,542
-Now?
-Little more.

325
00:19:29,751 --> 00:19:31,919
No. That's got it.

326
00:19:33,922 --> 00:19:36,382
Yeah, okay. That's good.

327
00:19:37,926 --> 00:19:40,094
-l'll let you in on a little secret.
-Mm.

328
00:19:40,304 --> 00:19:43,139
Originally, we were painted nude.

329
00:19:49,563 --> 00:19:53,149
But l had him add clothes because
it was an unnecessary challenge...

330
00:19:53,358 --> 00:19:55,735
...to our heterosexuality.

331
00:19:57,446 --> 00:19:59,280
Yeah, good call.

332
00:19:59,948 --> 00:20:02,700
lf you change your mind, all it
would take is some warm soapy water...

333
00:20:02,910 --> 00:20:04,911
...and a couple of sponges.

334
00:20:06,413 --> 00:20:09,332
-You're talking about the painting, right?
-Sure.

335
00:20:14,463 --> 00:20:16,839
SHELDON:
Help! Somebody, help!

336
00:20:20,636 --> 00:20:21,677
What happened?

337
00:20:21,887 --> 00:20:25,556
l was trying to see what was in here
and my head got stuck.

338
00:20:26,350 --> 00:20:27,683
Why would you do that?

339
00:20:27,893 --> 00:20:30,353
SHELDON:
lt's called scientific curiosity.

340
00:20:31,355 --> 00:20:33,773
Now go get butter.

341
00:20:33,982 --> 00:20:37,276
Okay, okay. Hang in there.
l'll be right back.

342
00:21:12,354 --> 00:21:14,355
[English - US - SDH]