1
00:00:01,379 --> 00:00:04,071
I cannot believe that you
are actually a minister.
2
00:00:04,196 --> 00:00:05,881
[Ethereal music plays]
3
00:00:06,047 --> 00:00:07,324
Yes, my lamb.
4
00:00:07,449 --> 00:00:09,527
I can marry people, bury people,
5
00:00:09,652 --> 00:00:10,861
grant wishes.
6
00:00:10,986 --> 00:00:13,138
- Honey, you're not a genie.
- Oh.
7
00:00:13,304 --> 00:00:15,266
You know, I am so honored
that Amanda asked me
8
00:00:15,391 --> 00:00:16,767
to officiate her wedding.
9
00:00:16,892 --> 00:00:20,479
And I need to honor her
with the perfect outfit.
10
00:00:20,645 --> 00:00:21,772
Next minister outfit, please.
11
00:00:21,938 --> 00:00:24,399
Both: Ooh.
12
00:00:24,565 --> 00:00:25,484
I like it.
13
00:00:25,867 --> 00:00:28,028
You don't think
it's just a little breasty?
14
00:00:28,194 --> 00:00:31,156
- Yes, totally breasty.
- Yeah.
15
00:00:31,322 --> 00:00:34,159
- Oh, you mean in a bad way.
- Mm-hmm.
16
00:00:34,325 --> 00:00:35,577
Thank you.
17
00:00:35,743 --> 00:00:37,663
You're gonna have so much fun.
18
00:00:37,829 --> 00:00:39,456
Man, I'd give anything to go.
19
00:00:39,622 --> 00:00:40,958
But being on a plane
for five hours with Amy,
20
00:00:41,083 --> 00:00:42,417
no thank you.
21
00:00:42,583 --> 00:00:44,528
Don't they make, like, a
little carrier thing for babies
22
00:00:44,653 --> 00:00:46,197
like they do for pomeranians?
23
00:00:46,322 --> 00:00:48,215
That way you could just stow her.
24
00:00:48,381 --> 00:00:50,676
I'm gonna let you answer that
question for yourself, honey.
25
00:00:50,842 --> 00:00:53,437
But seriously, though,
being stuck on a flight
26
00:00:53,562 --> 00:00:55,639
with a baby who's melting down,
27
00:00:55,805 --> 00:00:57,575
ugh, I hate to say this,
28
00:00:57,700 --> 00:00:59,685
but I hate those people.
29
00:00:59,851 --> 00:01:02,263
I have called the cops
on those people.
30
00:01:02,388 --> 00:01:03,597
No, it'll be great.
31
00:01:03,722 --> 00:01:05,966
It'll just be me and Kevin,
which will be fun.
32
00:01:06,091 --> 00:01:07,151
Although...
33
00:01:07,276 --> 00:01:09,653
Bringing a boyfriend
to a wedding is fraught.
34
00:01:09,819 --> 00:01:12,323
It's nonstop, "when are you
getting married?"
35
00:01:12,448 --> 00:01:14,116
"When are you
gonna pop the question?"
36
00:01:14,282 --> 00:01:17,394
I'm like, "get the hell out
of my face, mee-maw."
37
00:01:17,519 --> 00:01:19,196
And it's even worse for me,
38
00:01:19,321 --> 00:01:22,766
even though I have absolutely
no desire to get married.
39
00:01:22,891 --> 00:01:25,002
Not for me.
40
00:01:25,168 --> 00:01:26,128
Not even with Kevin?
41
00:01:26,294 --> 00:01:27,438
No, I love Kevin.
44
00:01:33,118 --> 00:01:35,137
I certainly don't need his.
45
00:01:35,303 --> 00:01:37,180
Ugh, it's gonna be
a challenging weekend.
46
00:01:37,346 --> 00:01:40,217
God, give me strength.
47
00:01:40,342 --> 00:01:43,187
Ooh, I think he heard me.
48
00:01:43,312 --> 00:01:46,982
I felt him reach down and touch
me with his E.T. finger.
49
00:01:47,148 --> 00:01:48,692
Both: Ooh.
50
00:01:48,817 --> 00:01:51,153
Let's see a spin.
51
00:01:51,319 --> 00:01:53,321
Oh, no!
52
00:01:53,487 --> 00:01:55,032
N-o on the coin slot.
53
00:02:00,828 --> 00:02:04,416
Sync and correction by Mlmlte
www.addic7ed.com
54
00:02:26,188 --> 00:02:27,606
I'm so glad we were able
55
00:02:27,772 --> 00:02:29,357
to finally make
this play date happen.
56
00:02:29,523 --> 00:02:30,734
Little Roger and Amy
57
00:02:30,859 --> 00:02:32,652
are just getting along
like gangbusters.
58
00:02:32,818 --> 00:02:33,528
Am I right?
59
00:02:33,762 --> 00:02:34,863
Look at those little monkeys.
60
00:02:35,029 --> 00:02:36,573
Do I hear wedding bells?
61
00:02:36,698 --> 00:02:37,558
Oh!
62
00:02:37,683 --> 00:02:38,950
[Laughter]
63
00:02:39,116 --> 00:02:40,377
I know you're kidding,
64
00:02:40,502 --> 00:02:43,371
but why put that out there?
65
00:02:43,537 --> 00:02:45,816
We were actually supposed to
fly to a wedding this weekend,
66
00:02:45,941 --> 00:02:47,284
but we decided not to,
67
00:02:47,409 --> 00:02:49,211
just too much trouble with
the baby and all.
68
00:02:49,377 --> 00:02:51,188
Oh, God, no way.
69
00:02:51,313 --> 00:02:52,623
Crowded airport.
70
00:02:52,748 --> 00:02:54,325
Stuck on a plane with a screamer.
71
00:02:54,450 --> 00:02:55,559
- Forget it!
- No thanks.
72
00:02:55,684 --> 00:02:56,994
- No thank you.
- No thanks.
73
00:02:57,119 --> 00:02:59,179
Good day, sirs and madams.
74
00:02:59,345 --> 00:03:01,498
Point is, you guys are smart.
75
00:03:01,623 --> 00:03:03,500
Yep.
You're just like us.
76
00:03:03,625 --> 00:03:04,735
You know that when you have a kid
77
00:03:04,860 --> 00:03:06,353
you gotta give a lot of stuff up.
78
00:03:06,519 --> 00:03:07,838
Well, every couple is different.
79
00:03:07,963 --> 00:03:09,231
Yeah, I think we're quite...
80
00:03:09,397 --> 00:03:12,400
Nope, nope, we're all the same.
81
00:03:12,566 --> 00:03:13,894
Again, I don't know.
82
00:03:14,019 --> 00:03:15,179
We could make this trip, honey.
83
00:03:15,304 --> 00:03:16,279
We could.
84
00:03:16,445 --> 00:03:17,989
Amy's a complete trooper.
85
00:03:18,155 --> 00:03:19,516
I think she could do it.
86
00:03:19,641 --> 00:03:21,993
Yeah, you know, I used to fly
all the time for business.
87
00:03:22,159 --> 00:03:24,788
Kind of an expert.
Platinum club.
88
00:03:24,954 --> 00:03:27,358
Let's just say
that if you found yourself
89
00:03:27,483 --> 00:03:28,926
at Dulles international airport
90
00:03:29,051 --> 00:03:31,495
and you ran into a skycap named Chet,
91
00:03:31,620 --> 00:03:33,497
he'd have some
pretty cool things to say
92
00:03:33,622 --> 00:03:35,032
about Chris Brinkley.
93
00:03:35,157 --> 00:03:38,176
Boy, that's a flaccid
back-door brag there,
94
00:03:38,342 --> 00:03:39,803
isn't it?
95
00:03:39,969 --> 00:03:41,538
Should we go?
96
00:03:41,663 --> 00:03:43,849
- Should we do this?
- No, ma'am. No.
97
00:03:44,015 --> 00:03:45,342
If we leave now, we can
probably make it be tonight.
98
00:03:45,467 --> 00:03:46,351
Yeah.
99
00:03:46,517 --> 00:03:47,878
Quit joshing!
100
00:03:48,003 --> 00:03:50,897
Now let's defrost a Totino's.
101
00:03:51,063 --> 00:03:52,858
You can keep your Totino's.
We're going.
102
00:03:53,024 --> 00:03:54,317
We're going to the wedding.
103
00:03:54,483 --> 00:03:56,278
I love that you haven't given up.
104
00:03:56,444 --> 00:03:57,654
I never give up.
105
00:04:00,781 --> 00:04:02,559
Okay, we are not here
to make friends.
106
00:04:02,684 --> 00:04:03,560
We're here to get through
107
00:04:03,685 --> 00:04:05,262
as quickly as possible for Amy,
108
00:04:05,387 --> 00:04:06,563
so we need to stick to the plan.
109
00:04:06,688 --> 00:04:09,633
All right, so the key
is to keep Amy happy and awake
110
00:04:09,758 --> 00:04:10,984
until we get on the flight, right?
111
00:04:11,109 --> 00:04:12,986
Yep, I got two bottles
all ready to go.
112
00:04:13,111 --> 00:04:14,822
Sweet potatoes are locked and loaded.
113
00:04:14,947 --> 00:04:16,490
Nice, and we give her
her first bottle
114
00:04:16,615 --> 00:04:17,658
once we get through security?
115
00:04:17,783 --> 00:04:18,942
Yep, second one on takeoff,
116
00:04:19,067 --> 00:04:20,794
another one at nap time,
and on landing.
117
00:04:20,919 --> 00:04:22,546
Okay, good.
I'm losing it, I'm losing it.
118
00:04:22,671 --> 00:04:24,306
The pack 'n play
is causing it to list.
119
00:04:24,472 --> 00:04:25,682
Babe, babe.
120
00:04:25,807 --> 00:04:28,001
This stupid cart is like
a metaphor for this entire trip.
121
00:04:28,126 --> 00:04:30,003
It's not a metaphor.
We got this.
122
00:04:30,128 --> 00:04:32,122
Now, which one is us?
123
00:04:32,247 --> 00:04:34,274
Ugh.
124
00:04:34,857 --> 00:04:37,068
You know what?
We are platinum club members.
125
00:04:37,234 --> 00:04:38,695
- Yeah.
- Platinum!
126
00:04:38,861 --> 00:04:40,780
- Give me the stuff, here.
- Okay.
127
00:04:40,946 --> 00:04:43,400
I know how to schmooze
these airport employees.
128
00:04:43,525 --> 00:04:44,451
Oh, sorry.
129
00:04:44,617 --> 00:04:46,328
Hi, Sharon.
130
00:04:46,494 --> 00:04:48,580
Let me start by saying
131
00:04:48,746 --> 00:04:50,441
I love your nails.
132
00:04:50,566 --> 00:04:52,209
What is that, crackle Polish?
133
00:04:52,375 --> 00:04:54,753
Yes. How many people
are traveling today?
134
00:04:54,919 --> 00:04:57,247
We have two platinum member adults
135
00:04:57,372 --> 00:05:01,201
and one beautiful,
gorgeous baby girl.
136
00:05:01,326 --> 00:05:02,844
So...
137
00:05:03,010 --> 00:05:06,256
I actually love this airport.
138
00:05:06,381 --> 00:05:08,975
Kinda one of my all-time faves.
139
00:05:09,141 --> 00:05:11,019
How long you been working here?
140
00:05:11,185 --> 00:05:12,729
Since I was 18.
141
00:05:12,895 --> 00:05:14,814
Wow, so what's that,
about three years?
142
00:05:14,980 --> 00:05:18,001
So we have Mr. Brinkley in 8-c
143
00:05:18,126 --> 00:05:20,053
and Mrs. Brinkley in 22-b.
144
00:05:20,319 --> 00:05:22,055
Wait, no, no, no,
we're not sitting together?
145
00:05:22,180 --> 00:05:24,107
Okay, hi, Sharon, here's the thing.
146
00:05:24,232 --> 00:05:26,810
Our whole baby travel plan thing
147
00:05:26,935 --> 00:05:29,204
is contingent on us sitting together,
148
00:05:29,370 --> 00:05:32,049
so you could be a part
of something pretty amazing
149
00:05:32,174 --> 00:05:34,251
if you just give us
our seats together.
150
00:05:34,417 --> 00:05:36,044
Thank you so much.
151
00:05:36,210 --> 00:05:37,379
- We're a family.
- Yeah.
152
00:05:37,545 --> 00:05:39,965
Sorry, that's all we have.
153
00:05:40,131 --> 00:05:41,074
Okay, we'll figure it out.
154
00:05:41,199 --> 00:05:42,409
No, you can't give up.
155
00:05:42,675 --> 00:05:44,161
No, no, no, no, no.
No, no, no.
156
00:05:44,286 --> 00:05:47,514
They always save a whole block
of seats for all the big shots.
157
00:05:47,680 --> 00:05:50,083
So, Sharon, the seats
that you were gonna give
158
00:05:50,208 --> 00:05:52,002
to Bono or to Wolf Blitzer,
159
00:05:52,127 --> 00:05:53,561
why don't you put your
fingertips on that keyboard
160
00:05:53,727 --> 00:05:55,339
and clickity-clackity,
clickity-clackity,
161
00:05:55,464 --> 00:05:56,557
chicka, chicka, chicka, chicka, okay?
162
00:05:56,682 --> 00:05:57,649
All right, well,
let's not make a scene
163
00:05:57,883 --> 00:05:58,926
about people's fingernails.
164
00:05:59,051 --> 00:06:00,068
No, we're on a mission, honey, here.
165
00:06:00,234 --> 00:06:01,345
We are heroes.
166
00:06:01,470 --> 00:06:03,096
And the least that I deserve
167
00:06:03,221 --> 00:06:05,232
is a courtesy clickity-clackity.
168
00:06:05,357 --> 00:06:07,951
So clack away.
169
00:06:08,117 --> 00:06:09,619
Enjoy your flight.
170
00:06:09,785 --> 00:06:11,355
Oh, we will, Sharon.
171
00:06:11,480 --> 00:06:13,039
You might be a roadblock, my dear,
172
00:06:13,205 --> 00:06:14,608
but you're not gonna break me.
173
00:06:14,874 --> 00:06:16,251
Oh, no, you're not.
174
00:06:16,417 --> 00:06:17,585
Excuse me.
175
00:06:17,751 --> 00:06:19,363
Oh, whoops, that's easier.
176
00:06:19,488 --> 00:06:20,531
Thank you.
I'll get it.
177
00:06:20,656 --> 00:06:21,898
That's not a roadblock for me.
178
00:06:22,023 --> 00:06:24,284
Neither is that.
Okay?
179
00:06:24,409 --> 00:06:25,669
We're good here.
180
00:06:25,794 --> 00:06:28,238
- Let's not do the whole row.
- Let's go, hon.
181
00:06:28,363 --> 00:06:30,081
Thank you!
182
00:06:31,739 --> 00:06:33,084
So as your minister,
183
00:06:33,209 --> 00:06:34,894
how do you want me to play
my part of the ceremony?
184
00:06:35,060 --> 00:06:36,688
Do you want heartfelt laughter?
185
00:06:36,854 --> 00:06:37,894
Tears?
186
00:06:38,019 --> 00:06:40,025
How nude do you want
the emotion to be?
187
00:06:40,191 --> 00:06:42,402
See-through blouse, no bottoms.
188
00:06:42,568 --> 00:06:44,779
I'm glad we talked.
189
00:06:44,945 --> 00:06:46,136
Got the keys.
190
00:06:46,261 --> 00:06:48,616
Oh, my God, is this Kevin?
191
00:06:48,782 --> 00:06:51,541
Yummy, Ava.
He's the total package.
192
00:06:51,666 --> 00:06:53,288
I hear wedding bells.
193
00:06:53,454 --> 00:06:56,124
Wedding bells?
Chill out, bitch.
194
00:06:56,290 --> 00:07:01,087
So my own personal
sound LLC reunion, huh?
195
00:07:01,253 --> 00:07:03,253
We're real fans in our house.
196
00:07:03,378 --> 00:07:05,622
My daughter and I,
we lobaby back it up,
197
00:07:05,747 --> 00:07:08,011
parenthesis, into my face.
198
00:07:08,177 --> 00:07:11,394
Huge.
199
00:07:11,519 --> 00:07:13,683
We will never sing that song again.
200
00:07:13,849 --> 00:07:15,060
Never, ever.
201
00:07:15,226 --> 00:07:17,187
Don't talk about it.
That song is dead.
202
00:07:17,353 --> 00:07:18,396
Don't say that.
203
00:07:18,562 --> 00:07:20,203
As everyone knows,
204
00:07:20,328 --> 00:07:23,401
we are considered the Lennon
and McCartney of hip-hop.
205
00:07:23,567 --> 00:07:27,877
John Lennon and Paul McCartney?
206
00:07:28,002 --> 00:07:29,362
We shared credit on all our songs,
207
00:07:29,487 --> 00:07:31,114
but on our biggest hit
there's been some
208
00:07:31,239 --> 00:07:32,982
unfortunate jive-assery
where some fool
209
00:07:33,107 --> 00:07:35,038
is spreading a rumor that
I didn't help write it.
210
00:07:35,204 --> 00:07:36,453
I woke up in the middle of the night
211
00:07:36,578 --> 00:07:39,375
with the words "back it up"
fully formed in my head.
212
00:07:39,541 --> 00:07:40,668
I picked up my keytar,
213
00:07:40,834 --> 00:07:44,194
and after eight minutes
I had the entire song penned
214
00:07:44,319 --> 00:07:45,465
with bridge.
215
00:07:45,631 --> 00:07:47,759
Who came up with
the beep-beeps, a ghost?
216
00:07:47,925 --> 00:07:48,968
Okay.
217
00:07:49,134 --> 00:07:50,845
- Hey.
- Yeah, cheers.
218
00:07:51,011 --> 00:07:52,202
Yeah.
219
00:07:52,327 --> 00:07:54,766
What is it about that song
that gets us fighting?
220
00:07:54,932 --> 00:07:58,394
God, we really are the Simon
and Garfunkel of hip-hop.
221
00:07:58,560 --> 00:08:01,022
Everyone always says that.
222
00:08:01,188 --> 00:08:02,679
Got 'em.
223
00:08:02,804 --> 00:08:04,347
Rocket fuel.
224
00:08:04,472 --> 00:08:05,882
Saving so much time,
we can get one of those
225
00:08:06,007 --> 00:08:07,817
awkward in-public massages.
226
00:08:07,942 --> 00:08:09,986
Oh, no.
Group travelers, incoming.
227
00:08:10,111 --> 00:08:11,821
Oh, listen, if we book it
we can beat them.
228
00:08:11,946 --> 00:08:13,556
Yeah, well, we've got to get
rid of our coffees real quick
229
00:08:13,681 --> 00:08:15,525
because they won't let us go
through security with them.
230
00:08:15,650 --> 00:08:17,059
- Mm!
- Oh, God!
231
00:08:17,184 --> 00:08:18,778
- Oh, my God!
- My mouth roof skin is gone.
232
00:08:18,903 --> 00:08:20,458
Ooh!
233
00:08:20,624 --> 00:08:22,082
♪ What are we talking about
234
00:08:22,207 --> 00:08:23,920
♪ what am I talking about
235
00:08:24,086 --> 00:08:25,839
whoa, end of the line is that way.
236
00:08:26,005 --> 00:08:28,633
- The what is?
- The line.
237
00:08:32,800 --> 00:08:34,177
Wow.
238
00:08:34,302 --> 00:08:37,642
Mr. and Mrs.
Kevin Alexander.
239
00:08:37,808 --> 00:08:41,104
Why do people at weddings
jump to conclusions like that?
240
00:08:41,270 --> 00:08:42,752
I don't know.
241
00:08:42,877 --> 00:08:45,445
I find it so uncomfortable.
242
00:08:47,715 --> 00:08:49,946
But don't worry,
marriage is not on my mind.
243
00:08:50,112 --> 00:08:51,489
Me either.
244
00:08:51,655 --> 00:08:53,263
I'm so glad we're on
the same page about this.
245
00:08:53,388 --> 00:08:54,981
Marriage, not for me.
246
00:08:55,106 --> 00:08:56,369
Nuh-uh.
247
00:08:56,535 --> 00:08:59,369
I mean, I'm definitely
never getting married again.
248
00:08:59,494 --> 00:09:01,541
Once was enough.
Never again.
249
00:09:01,707 --> 00:09:03,543
Never, never, never, ever.
250
00:09:03,709 --> 00:09:05,608
Never, never, never.
251
00:09:05,733 --> 00:09:08,006
Never, ever, period.
252
00:09:08,172 --> 00:09:09,966
Never, ever.
253
00:09:10,132 --> 00:09:12,510
You wanna watch a movie?
254
00:09:12,676 --> 00:09:13,500
[Amy crying]
255
00:09:13,625 --> 00:09:14,784
All right, well, great.
256
00:09:14,909 --> 00:09:16,139
This bottle's supposed
to be post-security.
257
00:09:16,305 --> 00:09:18,516
So now our schedule
is completely out of whack.
258
00:09:18,682 --> 00:09:19,956
You know what though,
while we're waiting
259
00:09:20,081 --> 00:09:21,853
I can work on some of my
wedding toast ideas.
260
00:09:22,019 --> 00:09:22,976
You know what, honey,
261
00:09:23,101 --> 00:09:24,814
just be your normal adorable self.
262
00:09:24,980 --> 00:09:26,146
- Thanks, babe.
- Yeah.
263
00:09:26,271 --> 00:09:27,397
I was just thinking that I might end
264
00:09:27,522 --> 00:09:29,694
with one of my signature
dead-on impressions.
265
00:09:29,860 --> 00:09:31,613
Yeah.
266
00:09:31,779 --> 00:09:35,522
[As Beetlejuice]
Well, you two are a couple of spooks.
267
00:09:35,647 --> 00:09:38,077
Let's turn on the juice
and see what shakes loose.
268
00:09:38,780 --> 00:09:40,378
It's showtime.
269
00:09:44,322 --> 00:09:45,365
It's Beetlejuice.
270
00:09:45,490 --> 00:09:47,337
It's Michael K...
Michael Keaton.
271
00:09:47,503 --> 00:09:49,452
Do you remember Michael Keaton?
272
00:09:49,577 --> 00:09:51,187
Yeah, honey, if you have
to name the character
273
00:09:51,312 --> 00:09:52,956
and the actor who played
that character,
274
00:09:53,081 --> 00:09:54,624
I think you have a bit of a problem.
275
00:09:54,749 --> 00:09:56,543
I got it.
276
00:09:56,668 --> 00:09:58,598
- Do you smell poop?
- Yeah, totally.
277
00:09:58,764 --> 00:09:59,846
Smelled it a long time ago actually.
278
00:09:59,971 --> 00:10:01,764
What? Why didn't you say something?
279
00:10:01,889 --> 00:10:05,768
- Because I'm in denial.
- Oh, my God.
280
00:10:05,893 --> 00:10:08,525
My baby, she needs to be changed.
281
00:10:08,691 --> 00:10:10,818
Probably thought my wife
cut one, huh?
282
00:10:10,984 --> 00:10:13,526
I'm just... humor.
283
00:10:13,651 --> 00:10:16,613
Well, we have to change her.
What are we gonna do?
284
00:10:16,738 --> 00:10:18,618
You know what, I got it, I got it.
285
00:10:18,784 --> 00:10:19,866
Excuse me, sorry.
286
00:10:19,991 --> 00:10:21,996
Excuse me, can you pass me
one of those gray bins?
287
00:10:22,162 --> 00:10:23,623
Yeah, thanks.
288
00:10:23,789 --> 00:10:26,501
Appreciate it.
Teamwork, right?
289
00:10:26,667 --> 00:10:27,824
What?
290
00:10:27,949 --> 00:10:29,545
Oh, come on, relax, you guys.
291
00:10:29,711 --> 00:10:31,839
Just a little baby poop.
292
00:10:32,005 --> 00:10:33,162
It's cute.
293
00:10:33,287 --> 00:10:35,593
It's not like some
man-sized Duke bomb.
294
00:10:35,759 --> 00:10:38,179
You can't say "bomb."
295
00:10:38,345 --> 00:10:40,056
Oh, come on.
296
00:10:40,222 --> 00:10:42,225
[Cell phone rings]
297
00:10:42,391 --> 00:10:44,394
Hello.
298
00:10:44,560 --> 00:10:45,758
He doesn't want to get married.
299
00:10:45,883 --> 00:10:47,060
- Who, the groom?
- No, Kevin.
300
00:10:47,185 --> 00:10:48,428
He just told me.
301
00:10:48,553 --> 00:10:50,563
He said he never wants
to get married again.
302
00:10:50,688 --> 00:10:53,569
Never, ever, ever.
Period.
303
00:10:53,735 --> 00:10:54,984
Oh, honey, what happened?
304
00:10:55,109 --> 00:10:56,402
Did you guys have a fight
or something?
305
00:10:56,527 --> 00:10:57,865
Where is he?
306
00:10:58,031 --> 00:10:59,722
He's watching back to school
on the superstation.
307
00:10:59,847 --> 00:11:01,324
I'm on the toilet phone.
308
00:11:01,449 --> 00:11:04,694
Be out soon, just doing number one.
309
00:11:04,819 --> 00:11:07,000
He just got back from buying
grocery store Chex Mix.
310
00:11:07,166 --> 00:11:09,085
- What?
- He hates minibars.
311
00:11:09,251 --> 00:11:11,504
And he doesn't want to get married.
312
00:11:11,670 --> 00:11:14,924
But, Ava, I thought that's
what you wanted.
313
00:11:15,090 --> 00:11:16,306
Well, I did too.
314
00:11:16,431 --> 00:11:18,207
But in my mind, it was never,
315
00:11:18,332 --> 00:11:21,055
not never, never, never, never, ever.
316
00:11:21,221 --> 00:11:22,612
Will you just...
Just relax.
317
00:11:22,737 --> 00:11:24,714
We will be there soon, okay?
318
00:11:24,839 --> 00:11:25,893
Okay.
319
00:11:26,059 --> 00:11:28,008
Coming, honey!
320
00:11:32,263 --> 00:11:33,860
Hi.
321
00:11:34,026 --> 00:11:35,308
You're okay.
322
00:11:35,433 --> 00:11:37,477
Okay.
Okay, okay, okay.
323
00:11:37,602 --> 00:11:39,574
- Thank you.
- Okay.
324
00:11:39,740 --> 00:11:41,764
Okay.
325
00:11:41,889 --> 00:11:43,616
Miss, we need to go through your bag.
326
00:11:43,741 --> 00:11:44,934
Oh, no, no, no, please, no, no.
327
00:11:45,059 --> 00:11:46,873
My baby, we have to get her through.
328
00:11:47,039 --> 00:11:47,937
It's so past her nap time,
329
00:11:48,062 --> 00:11:49,000
and we have to keep on schedule.
330
00:11:49,247 --> 00:11:52,875
Don't touch the bag during the check.
331
00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:55,044
Frickin' key janglers,
it's a power trip.
332
00:11:55,169 --> 00:11:57,550
It's their job.
333
00:11:57,716 --> 00:12:00,762
You can't take this
on the plane, over 3.4 ounces.
334
00:12:00,928 --> 00:12:02,502
Oh, we're still doing that?
335
00:12:02,627 --> 00:12:05,475
I thought people weren't worried
about liquids anymore.
336
00:12:05,641 --> 00:12:07,056
Please, just don't throw...
I can't throw this stuff out.
337
00:12:07,181 --> 00:12:08,311
It's really expensive.
338
00:12:08,477 --> 00:12:10,259
- Here, here, take some.
- Whoa, whoa, no.
339
00:12:10,384 --> 00:12:11,794
Does anybody want any of this lotion
340
00:12:11,919 --> 00:12:12,982
before you go through?
341
00:12:13,148 --> 00:12:14,263
It's really nice lotion,
342
00:12:14,388 --> 00:12:15,648
and they're gonna make me
throw it out.
343
00:12:15,773 --> 00:12:17,266
- So, I mean, it's no...
- Babe, what are you doing?
344
00:12:17,391 --> 00:12:18,780
Come on, just get...
Who cares...
345
00:12:18,946 --> 00:12:19,936
Fine, fine.
346
00:12:20,061 --> 00:12:22,238
Look, ma'am, see this baby here?
347
00:12:22,363 --> 00:12:24,118
We gotta keep her moving, okay?
348
00:12:24,284 --> 00:12:25,995
We gotta keep her moving, so...
349
00:12:26,161 --> 00:12:29,069
Oh, come on, I got
a ticking time bomb here.
350
00:12:31,667 --> 00:12:33,616
So just that room over there?
351
00:12:33,741 --> 00:12:35,630
Uh-huh, yeah, right over there.
352
00:12:41,260 --> 00:12:42,845
See, no bomb.
353
00:12:43,011 --> 00:12:46,467
Just a baby, with a "poop-splosion."
354
00:12:46,592 --> 00:12:47,869
She's a terrorist,
355
00:12:47,994 --> 00:12:49,537
attacking her diaper with poo.
356
00:12:49,662 --> 00:12:52,105
- Reagan, why are you...
- I don't know.
357
00:12:52,271 --> 00:12:53,515
Sorry, I have to apologize
for my wife.
358
00:12:54,064 --> 00:12:56,109
She has control issues
and problems with authority.
359
00:12:56,275 --> 00:12:58,173
If things don't go exactly
according to her plan,
360
00:12:58,298 --> 00:12:59,668
it's like, boom!
361
00:13:01,989 --> 00:13:05,785
You have beautiful nails.
362
00:13:05,951 --> 00:13:06,786
You're free to go.
363
00:13:06,952 --> 00:13:08,613
Thank you.
364
00:13:10,831 --> 00:13:12,493
Listen, don't worry about it.
I'm okay.
365
00:13:12,618 --> 00:13:14,279
I cannot believe you.
366
00:13:14,404 --> 00:13:16,831
Wait, me?
You can't believe me?
367
00:13:16,956 --> 00:13:19,133
Why can't you just
have my back, Chris?
368
00:13:19,258 --> 00:13:20,633
What?
Oh, with the lotion
369
00:13:21,060 --> 00:13:22,503
and the yelling at the chuckleheads?
370
00:13:22,628 --> 00:13:23,538
Yes.
371
00:13:23,663 --> 00:13:25,073
Some of whom I imagine have tasers
372
00:13:25,198 --> 00:13:27,208
and can legally explore your keister.
373
00:13:27,333 --> 00:13:28,509
You know what,
I always have your back.
374
00:13:28,634 --> 00:13:29,577
I always have your back
375
00:13:29,702 --> 00:13:31,045
whether you are being insane or not.
376
00:13:31,170 --> 00:13:32,780
- What?
- I had your back the time
377
00:13:32,905 --> 00:13:34,182
that you flipped that guy off
378
00:13:34,307 --> 00:13:35,617
when you pulled out in front of him.
379
00:13:35,742 --> 00:13:36,968
I had your back the time
that you sent back
380
00:13:37,093 --> 00:13:38,436
an entire tray of nachos
381
00:13:38,561 --> 00:13:40,388
because of one frickin' pinto bean.
382
00:13:40,513 --> 00:13:42,023
- I hate beans.
- I know you do.
383
00:13:42,148 --> 00:13:43,424
So when you get sad
when you see a bean,
384
00:13:43,549 --> 00:13:45,143
I do too, I hate that bean.
385
00:13:45,268 --> 00:13:47,028
I hate the people that
served you that bean.
386
00:13:47,153 --> 00:13:48,730
I hate all the customers
that are sitting there
387
00:13:48,855 --> 00:13:50,538
enjoying their beans.
388
00:13:50,704 --> 00:13:53,534
I hate it all,
whether it's rational or not
389
00:13:53,659 --> 00:13:55,870
because I love you,
and I have your back.
390
00:13:55,995 --> 00:13:58,997
God, I just need
a frickin' tiny wine.
391
00:14:00,047 --> 00:14:01,292
All right, move those flowers
392
00:14:01,417 --> 00:14:03,134
over to the right.
393
00:14:03,300 --> 00:14:05,011
Bump that light up ten points.
394
00:14:05,177 --> 00:14:06,345
Great, hold it.
395
00:14:06,511 --> 00:14:09,098
- Great.
- Hey.
396
00:14:09,264 --> 00:14:11,085
You came down without me.
397
00:14:11,210 --> 00:14:12,435
I didn't know you were here.
398
00:14:12,601 --> 00:14:13,588
Oh, I didn't want to bother you
399
00:14:13,713 --> 00:14:14,770
with all this silliness.
400
00:14:14,936 --> 00:14:16,391
You're gonna make this
ceremony amazing.
401
00:14:16,516 --> 00:14:18,316
It's gonna be like the royal wedding,
402
00:14:18,482 --> 00:14:22,570
with lady pretty lady
and prince what's-his-teeth.
403
00:14:22,736 --> 00:14:24,232
Whatevs on weddings.
Who cares?
404
00:14:24,357 --> 00:14:26,968
They're all a waste
of time and money.
405
00:14:27,093 --> 00:14:29,354
You know, they all fail,
and those that don't, well,
406
00:14:29,479 --> 00:14:32,163
welcome to a lifetime bedroom prison.
407
00:14:32,329 --> 00:14:36,327
It's gonna be a magical day
for you though.
408
00:14:36,452 --> 00:14:39,837
Trust me!
Beautiful.
409
00:14:40,003 --> 00:14:42,450
You're upset about
our marriage conversation.
410
00:14:42,575 --> 00:14:43,925
No!
411
00:14:44,091 --> 00:14:45,586
What?
412
00:14:45,711 --> 00:14:47,455
I'm gonna make you pee in a cup,
413
00:14:47,580 --> 00:14:50,473
'cause you, sir, are high as a kite.
414
00:14:50,639 --> 00:14:53,726
I don't know, I thought
we were on the same page.
415
00:14:53,892 --> 00:14:58,700
No, we are on the same page.
416
00:14:58,825 --> 00:15:01,269
Just never, never, never,
never, ever?
417
00:15:01,394 --> 00:15:02,360
Really?
418
00:15:02,526 --> 00:15:04,038
Well, believe it or not, at one point
419
00:15:04,163 --> 00:15:06,107
I was actually kinda fond
of my ex-wife.
420
00:15:06,232 --> 00:15:10,117
But, I don't know, marriage
changes things, you know?
421
00:15:10,283 --> 00:15:12,286
I mean, is that...
422
00:15:12,452 --> 00:15:15,616
Is that gonna be a problem for you?
423
00:15:15,741 --> 00:15:18,668
I think it might be.
424
00:15:20,585 --> 00:15:22,657
You know what, you're busy.
425
00:15:22,782 --> 00:15:24,358
I don't wanna ruin
this experience for you.
426
00:15:24,483 --> 00:15:26,327
I should go.
I'll just see you later.
427
00:15:26,452 --> 00:15:28,129
All right?
428
00:15:28,254 --> 00:15:32,181
Yeah.
429
00:15:32,347 --> 00:15:34,702
Ugh.
[Amy cries]
430
00:15:34,827 --> 00:15:36,504
I'm sorry.
I'm really sorry.
431
00:15:36,629 --> 00:15:38,339
She'll go to sleep soon.
I'm so sorry.
432
00:15:38,464 --> 00:15:39,814
I'm so sorry.
433
00:15:39,980 --> 00:15:41,809
Listen, um, I'm just gonna
go back to the seat,
434
00:15:41,934 --> 00:15:44,429
and we'll just, we'll switch off
when we get a chance, okay?
435
00:15:44,554 --> 00:15:45,713
Baby, you know what,
let me just take her.
436
00:15:45,838 --> 00:15:48,531
No, I'm fine.
I'm fine, I'm fine.
437
00:15:48,697 --> 00:15:50,601
[Amy cries]
438
00:15:50,726 --> 00:15:52,118
It's okay, it's okay.
439
00:15:52,284 --> 00:15:54,355
Of course, on my last shift
440
00:15:54,480 --> 00:15:57,164
there'd be a cranky baby
on the flight.
441
00:15:57,330 --> 00:15:59,777
- Oh, my God, I'm sorry.
- Do you mind?
442
00:15:59,902 --> 00:16:01,229
Okay, you don't have
to huff and puff at me.
443
00:16:01,354 --> 00:16:03,713
Hey, airplane people, can
I have your attention, please?
444
00:16:03,879 --> 00:16:07,568
That is my wife, and that
is my little baby girl.
445
00:16:07,693 --> 00:16:08,970
And I ask you to please be patient
446
00:16:09,095 --> 00:16:11,873
with my little baby girl
'cause she's just a baby.
447
00:16:11,998 --> 00:16:13,848
And my wife has had
a really tough day.
448
00:16:14,014 --> 00:16:16,127
And she's way out
of her comfort zone,
449
00:16:16,252 --> 00:16:18,060
but she's handling it like a champ.
450
00:16:18,226 --> 00:16:21,063
So if you have a problem with them,
451
00:16:21,229 --> 00:16:22,817
you've got a problem with me.
452
00:16:22,942 --> 00:16:24,635
But if you're cool,
453
00:16:24,760 --> 00:16:26,861
beers and bloodies
are on me, all right?
454
00:16:27,027 --> 00:16:29,071
Okay, and just one each.
455
00:16:29,237 --> 00:16:31,616
And only domestic beer.
456
00:16:31,782 --> 00:16:33,701
Dude, put your hand down.
You're, like, 12 years old.
457
00:16:33,867 --> 00:16:36,954
[Mouths words]
458
00:16:42,445 --> 00:16:44,405
Thanks for having my back, honey.
459
00:16:44,530 --> 00:16:46,531
Always.
460
00:16:49,035 --> 00:16:50,968
You know, I think we're
doing pretty good.
461
00:16:51,134 --> 00:16:52,446
I know, right?
462
00:16:52,571 --> 00:16:55,556
Suck it, gene and Terry.
463
00:16:55,722 --> 00:16:56,801
You know what would really get them?
464
00:16:56,926 --> 00:17:00,354
- Hmm?
- Mile high club.
465
00:17:00,479 --> 00:17:02,456
Honey, we can't do that.
466
00:17:02,581 --> 00:17:03,898
We have the baby.
467
00:17:04,064 --> 00:17:06,227
I don't wanna get lavatory
on my good boots.
468
00:17:06,352 --> 00:17:07,979
Really? Really?
469
00:17:08,104 --> 00:17:10,231
We're not gonna actually do it.
470
00:17:10,356 --> 00:17:11,649
- Oh, okay.
- We're just gonna...
471
00:17:11,774 --> 00:17:13,866
Oh, oh, okay.
Hold on.
472
00:17:18,531 --> 00:17:21,707
All right, let's get another one.
473
00:17:21,873 --> 00:17:24,812
These are two wonderful people
474
00:17:25,085 --> 00:17:27,982
for whom I see nothing
but a future of happiness.
475
00:17:28,255 --> 00:17:31,185
Hold onto each other
and never let go,
476
00:17:31,466 --> 00:17:34,470
because not everyone is lucky
enough to have what you have.
477
00:17:34,636 --> 00:17:36,806
[Loud banging, glass breaking]
478
00:17:36,972 --> 00:17:38,182
Oop. Sorry.
479
00:17:38,348 --> 00:17:40,161
Ooh.
480
00:17:40,286 --> 00:17:42,663
I don't really have
anything dramatic to say.
481
00:17:42,788 --> 00:17:45,189
Sorry, I just...
I wanted to watch Ava.
482
00:17:45,355 --> 00:17:46,983
The door just kinda got away from me.
483
00:17:47,149 --> 00:17:49,103
I thought it would have one
of those heavy hydraulic things
484
00:17:49,228 --> 00:17:51,862
that would slow it, but it slammed.
485
00:17:52,028 --> 00:17:54,448
Ava, I'm here.
I made it.
486
00:17:54,614 --> 00:17:56,060
Honey, shh.
487
00:17:56,339 --> 00:17:58,396
You know what, I think this
is the bride and groom, man.
488
00:17:58,521 --> 00:18:00,162
- I don't know if that's...
- Oh, boy.
489
00:18:00,328 --> 00:18:01,949
Yeah, grab a chair.
Yeah, yeah.
490
00:18:02,074 --> 00:18:04,375
Sorry about that.
Hey.
491
00:18:04,541 --> 00:18:05,987
Looks great, guys.
Congratu...
492
00:18:06,112 --> 00:18:09,463
I'm just gonna get a seat here.
493
00:18:09,629 --> 00:18:11,209
Let me just squeeze in there.
494
00:18:11,334 --> 00:18:13,884
You guys mind just...
495
00:18:14,050 --> 00:18:14,962
- All ready now?
- Yeah.
496
00:18:15,087 --> 00:18:16,053
Great.
497
00:18:16,219 --> 00:18:19,598
Love.
498
00:18:19,764 --> 00:18:23,054
It's like a wild rose.
499
00:18:23,179 --> 00:18:25,855
Sometimes it makes me thorny.
500
00:18:26,021 --> 00:18:28,691
[Glass clinks]
501
00:18:28,857 --> 00:18:32,027
So let's all have a drink
to honor Amanda and Craig.
502
00:18:32,193 --> 00:18:35,483
Or as someone we all know
might say...
503
00:18:35,608 --> 00:18:38,951
[Imitating Michael Keaton]
"I don't know, 220, 221.
504
00:18:39,117 --> 00:18:42,163
"Whatever it takes, you know.
505
00:18:42,329 --> 00:18:46,083
Kenny, don't draw on your sister."
506
00:18:47,787 --> 00:18:50,455
Michael Keaton in Mr. Mom, everybody!
507
00:18:50,962 --> 00:18:54,925
That was... Michael Keaton.
508
00:18:55,091 --> 00:18:56,420
Thanks, babe.
Thanks, babe.
509
00:18:56,545 --> 00:18:58,973
Thank you.
510
00:18:59,098 --> 00:19:01,042
Thanks for having
my back, sweetheart.
511
00:19:01,167 --> 00:19:02,725
I'm glad you didn't leave.
512
00:19:02,891 --> 00:19:06,896
I didn't wanna miss your big moment.
513
00:19:07,062 --> 00:19:09,273
This is really good.
514
00:19:11,243 --> 00:19:14,111
Let's just agree to never say never.
515
00:19:14,277 --> 00:19:16,757
All right, well, as long
as we're never saying never,
516
00:19:16,882 --> 00:19:18,592
there's a song I'd like to hear,
517
00:19:18,717 --> 00:19:21,095
and it goes a little
something like this.
518
00:19:21,220 --> 00:19:22,363
♪ Back it up, back it up
519
00:19:22,488 --> 00:19:24,789
♪ beep, beep
520
00:19:24,955 --> 00:19:29,036
y'all remember this?
521
00:19:29,161 --> 00:19:31,489
Break out your lighters.
522
00:19:31,614 --> 00:19:34,465
'Cause this is about to get stinky.
523
00:19:34,631 --> 00:19:35,876
- It's good.
- You know what,
524
00:19:36,001 --> 00:19:37,545
I'm wondering if they'll do
the uncensored version
525
00:19:37,670 --> 00:19:40,095
- of this song.
- I'm not wondering that at all.
526
00:19:40,261 --> 00:19:43,467
Ladies, take your [bleep] off.
527
00:19:43,592 --> 00:19:46,087
♪ Met you on a Saturday night ♪
528
00:19:46,212 --> 00:19:48,145
♪ cruising down the street
529
00:19:48,311 --> 00:19:51,023
- that's right.
- ♪ you said [bleep]
530
00:19:51,189 --> 00:19:55,111
♪ ain't no way to treat [bleep] ♪
531
00:19:55,277 --> 00:19:58,948
Buy her flowers, [bleep].
532
00:19:59,114 --> 00:20:00,151
♪ You said hey girl...
533
00:20:00,276 --> 00:20:02,827
- We did it.
- We did it.
534
00:20:02,993 --> 00:20:05,579
We did it!
535
00:20:05,745 --> 00:20:08,582
♪ Could tell it's classy
by the font ♪
536
00:20:12,274 --> 00:20:14,004
♪ back it up
537
00:20:14,170 --> 00:20:15,278
♪ back it up, back it up
538
00:20:15,403 --> 00:20:16,632
♪ beep, beep
539
00:20:16,798 --> 00:20:19,218
♪ in the morning
whisper words so sweet ♪
540
00:20:19,384 --> 00:20:22,012
- ♪ you pour me a tall mimosa
- Reagan.
541
00:20:22,178 --> 00:20:24,003
♪ We lay down on Egyptian sheets ♪
542
00:20:24,128 --> 00:20:27,017
♪ you're lookin' hot
like Sammy Sosa ♪
543
00:20:28,049 --> 00:20:29,812
.300 batting average.
544
00:20:29,978 --> 00:20:32,231
♪
545
00:20:32,887 --> 00:20:36,986
Yeah, Sammy Sosa, son.
546
00:20:37,152 --> 00:20:39,018
♪ Back it up into my face
547
00:20:39,143 --> 00:20:41,907
♪ and be with me forever
548
00:20:42,073 --> 00:20:43,923
♪ back it up into my face
549
00:20:44,048 --> 00:20:46,954
♪ in any kind of weather
550
00:20:47,120 --> 00:20:48,622
♪ when you put it in reverse ♪
551
00:20:48,788 --> 00:20:52,293
♪ you make our love soar
like a feather ♪
552
00:20:52,459 --> 00:20:54,920
Sync and correction by Mlmlte
www.addic7ed.com
553
00:20:55,086 --> 00:20:56,485
♪ Back it up
554
00:20:56,610 --> 00:20:58,591
♪ back it up
555
00:20:58,757 --> 00:20:59,633
♪ beep, beep