1
00:00:05,038 --> 00:00:07,871
Sorry, Nigel,
dinner took longer than I thought.

2
00:00:08,375 --> 00:00:10,002
Yeah.

3
00:00:11,778 --> 00:00:15,214
And now we are stuck in traffic.

4
00:00:15,382 --> 00:00:17,282
Yeah, bumper to bumper.

5
00:00:17,784 --> 00:00:21,845
Well, tell Ava
I'll be there in an hour, okay? Okay.

6
00:00:23,223 --> 00:00:24,884
Why didn't you tell him the truth?

7
00:00:25,058 --> 00:00:28,357
Because I know my ex-husband
quite well.

8
00:00:28,528 --> 00:00:31,861
It'd really upset him if he found out
you flew me to San Francisco...

9
00:00:32,032 --> 00:00:35,058
...in your private jet
just to have fried clams.

10
00:00:35,235 --> 00:00:37,897
-Mm. You're right, you shouldn't tell him.
-Thank you.

11
00:00:38,071 --> 00:00:39,595
-I'll tell him.
-Ha-ha.

12
00:00:39,806 --> 00:00:42,934
I wanted to do something nice for you
before you went to London.

13
00:00:43,109 --> 00:00:45,043
I'll only be gone for a few weeks.

14
00:00:45,211 --> 00:00:48,738
And I will miss you.

15
00:00:48,915 --> 00:00:51,110
And I will miss you.

16
00:00:51,284 --> 00:00:52,308
[RUMBLING]

17
00:00:52,485 --> 00:00:54,385
-Whoa!
-What was that?

18
00:00:54,554 --> 00:00:56,249
Heh. Don't worry, it's normal.

19
00:00:57,490 --> 00:00:59,754
[BOTH SCREAM]

20
00:00:59,926 --> 00:01:02,451
-That's not normal!
-Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, God!

21
00:01:02,629 --> 00:01:04,358
Zoey, I love you.

22
00:01:04,531 --> 00:01:07,466
-I don't want to die.
-Did you hear me? I said I love you.

23
00:01:07,634 --> 00:01:09,932
I heard you
and I said I don't want to die.

24
00:01:15,075 --> 00:01:16,542
[RUMBLING STOPS]

25
00:01:22,148 --> 00:01:25,242
PILOT [OVER PA]: <i>Sorry about that,
Mr. Schmidt. Just some clear air turbulence.</i>

26
00:01:25,418 --> 00:01:27,443
<i>Should be smooth sailing
from here on out.</i>

27
00:01:28,655 --> 00:01:29,883
I doubt that.

28
00:01:31,958 --> 00:01:33,949
[SINGING "TWO AND A HALF MEN" THEME]

29
00:02:02,255 --> 00:02:06,624
Aww. What's sadder
than an empty bottle of wine?

30
00:02:06,793 --> 00:02:10,786
Being the boyfriend of a 40-year-old
drunk soccer mom.

31
00:02:11,464 --> 00:02:12,556
What?

32
00:02:12,732 --> 00:02:15,360
I was just thinking
you might wanna slow down a little.

33
00:02:15,535 --> 00:02:17,435
It's only wine, jeez.

34
00:02:17,937 --> 00:02:20,371
It's only been wine since last July.

35
00:02:20,540 --> 00:02:23,873
Hey, hey, that got a three-star rating
in the Walmart Wine Tracker.

36
00:02:24,043 --> 00:02:25,908
Oh. What's the big deal?

37
00:02:26,079 --> 00:02:28,013
So I need a few glasses
to loosen me up.

38
00:02:28,181 --> 00:02:30,479
You need to get loaded
to have sex with me?

39
00:02:30,650 --> 00:02:32,743
-I'm not loaded.
-Fine.

40
00:02:32,952 --> 00:02:34,681
But it doesn't hurt.

41
00:02:36,723 --> 00:02:39,658
-Hey, guys.
-Wally. Want some wine?

44
00:02:44,464 --> 00:02:47,900
Also when you're bored, lonely
or just, you know, too sober.

45
00:02:49,335 --> 00:02:50,359
Why are you depressed?

46
00:02:51,337 --> 00:02:55,171
-I don't know, it's kind of personal.
-Okay, no problem.

47
00:02:56,876 --> 00:02:59,367
What do you do when you tell someone
you love them...

48
00:02:59,546 --> 00:03:01,878
-...and they don't respond?
-Drink.

49
00:03:02,849 --> 00:03:06,012
-You told Zoey you love her?
-I thought the plane was gonna crash.

50
00:03:06,186 --> 00:03:10,020
And it just kind of came out.
Along with a little squirt of pee.

51
00:03:11,791 --> 00:03:13,122
So, what did she say?

52
00:03:13,293 --> 00:03:17,525
[IN BRITISH ACCENT]
"Oh, God, oh, God, I don't want to die."

53
00:03:17,697 --> 00:03:20,530
Well, given the circumstance,
that's a legitimate response.

54
00:03:20,700 --> 00:03:23,134
[IN NORMAL VOICE] In the moment.
What about after the plane leveled?

55
00:03:23,303 --> 00:03:24,565
Well, what'd she say then?

56
00:03:24,737 --> 00:03:26,728
[IN BRITISH ACCENT]
"Why do I smell pee?"

57
00:03:30,276 --> 00:03:33,575
[IN NORMAL VOICE] Then we just sat there
in silence for the rest of the flight.

58
00:03:34,214 --> 00:03:35,442
Should have drank.

59
00:03:37,750 --> 00:03:41,550
Well, I'm gonna go change my underwear
before I get diaper rash.

60
00:03:43,990 --> 00:03:45,218
Wow.

61
00:03:45,391 --> 00:03:47,586
-I feel bad for him.
-Yeah.

62
00:03:47,760 --> 00:03:51,457
I mean, you know, to tell somebody
you love them and just get no response.

63
00:03:51,631 --> 00:03:53,462
Awful.

64
00:03:56,836 --> 00:03:59,930
-You know how I feel about you, right?
-Right.

65
00:04:00,106 --> 00:04:03,303
-You know how I feel about you?
-Oh, absolutely.

66
00:04:07,680 --> 00:04:11,776
-Still nice to hear on occasion.
-Oh, I agree.

67
00:04:15,622 --> 00:04:18,591
I can do this as long as you can, pal.

68
00:04:22,929 --> 00:04:23,953
[KNOCK ON DOOR]

69
00:04:24,130 --> 00:04:25,688
It's open.

70
00:04:25,865 --> 00:04:28,197
Hey, can I talk to you for a minute?

71
00:04:28,368 --> 00:04:29,494
Sure. What's up?

72
00:04:30,003 --> 00:04:31,334
Uh....

73
00:04:31,771 --> 00:04:35,298
I didn't sleep at all last night, man.
This Zoey stuff is making me crazy.

74
00:04:35,475 --> 00:04:36,806
Oh, man, I'm sorry.

75
00:04:38,645 --> 00:04:41,842
I'm starting to wonder
if I should break up with her.

76
00:04:42,015 --> 00:04:44,506
Hang on. Just because
she didn't say "l love you"...

77
00:04:44,684 --> 00:04:47,118
-...doesn't mean she doesn't feel it.
-You think?

78
00:04:47,287 --> 00:04:49,983
Some people have a hard time
articulating their feelings.

79
00:04:50,156 --> 00:04:52,215
So they express them in other ways.

80
00:04:52,392 --> 00:04:54,587
[LYNDSEY VOMITING LOUDLY]

81
00:04:56,729 --> 00:04:58,162
-Is that Lyndsey?
-Tsk.

82
00:04:58,331 --> 00:05:00,629
Yeah, she had a little too much vino
last night.

83
00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:03,394
Anyway, I think you just
have to be patient with Zoey.

84
00:05:03,569 --> 00:05:05,969
[LYNDSEY VOMITING LOUDLY]

85
00:05:06,639 --> 00:05:08,698
Yeah, I guess.

86
00:05:08,875 --> 00:05:10,172
[GAGS]

87
00:05:13,146 --> 00:05:18,049
Ahem. Sorry, I have a hard time
with people throwing up.

88
00:05:18,217 --> 00:05:20,811
Try watching and holding her hair.

89
00:05:21,854 --> 00:05:24,414
It's just Zoey's going to England
for a few weeks.

90
00:05:24,590 --> 00:05:26,751
[LYNDSEY VOMITING LOUDLY]

91
00:05:27,427 --> 00:05:29,918
And I'm-- Uh-- Uh--

92
00:05:30,396 --> 00:05:31,863
I'm starting to think if I'm gonna--

93
00:05:32,031 --> 00:05:33,055
[GAGS]

94
00:05:33,232 --> 00:05:35,132
If I'm gonna end it,
that now would be a good time.

95
00:05:35,468 --> 00:05:37,060
[LYNDSEY VOMITING]

96
00:05:39,939 --> 00:05:41,372
Whoa.

97
00:05:41,541 --> 00:05:43,907
You'd think I'd be used to it by now.

98
00:05:44,077 --> 00:05:46,011
No, no, no, don't do anything hasty.

99
00:05:46,179 --> 00:05:49,410
[LYNDSEY VOMITING LOUDLY]

100
00:05:49,649 --> 00:05:52,311
I can't-- I can't just leave--

101
00:05:52,485 --> 00:05:54,350
I can't just leave things
the way that they are.

102
00:05:54,520 --> 00:05:55,748
[LYNDSEY VOMITING LOUDLY]

103
00:05:55,922 --> 00:06:00,359
Why don't you go talk to her? You know,
just put your cards on the table.

104
00:06:02,829 --> 00:06:03,853
Yeah, maybe.

105
00:06:04,030 --> 00:06:05,224
[GAGS]

106
00:06:05,398 --> 00:06:07,889
LYNDSEY:
Crap, now I gotta change my bra.

107
00:06:11,904 --> 00:06:13,929
Maybe we should
just give her some privacy.

108
00:06:14,107 --> 00:06:18,305
LYNDSEY: Oh, God,
now it's coming out both ends.

109
00:06:18,945 --> 00:06:20,207
Good idea.

110
00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:22,848
[LYNDSEY VOMITING THEN COUGHING]

111
00:06:26,052 --> 00:06:29,488
ZOEY: Ava, you need to get dressed.
Mommy has to go.

112
00:06:32,091 --> 00:06:34,389
Walden. Delightful.

113
00:06:34,560 --> 00:06:38,223
Nigel. Disgusting.

114
00:06:40,566 --> 00:06:43,296
-Are you here to pick up your daughter?
-I am.

115
00:06:43,469 --> 00:06:47,496
Zoey tell you that we took my jet to
San Francisco last night for fried clams?

116
00:06:48,141 --> 00:06:50,109
No, she did not.

117
00:06:50,276 --> 00:06:52,073
Well, we did.

118
00:06:52,979 --> 00:06:55,573
Are you sharing this information
just to upset me?

119
00:06:55,748 --> 00:06:58,945
Actually, I was hoping
to make you feel inadequate as well.

120
00:06:59,652 --> 00:07:02,746
Oh, Walden, what are you doing here?
Nigel, I'm running late.

121
00:07:02,922 --> 00:07:06,358
So will you for once please make
yourself useful and help Ava get ready?

122
00:07:06,526 --> 00:07:08,994
Well, only because you asked
so nicely.

123
00:07:09,162 --> 00:07:11,426
-Enjoy her.
-Hi.

124
00:07:11,597 --> 00:07:14,532
-We need to talk.
-Now? I'm about to leave for the airport.

125
00:07:14,734 --> 00:07:17,259
-I'll take you.
-Thanks, but I have a car coming.

126
00:07:17,437 --> 00:07:18,768
Now, where is my passport?

127
00:07:18,938 --> 00:07:20,530
Nigel, have you seen my passport?

128
00:07:20,740 --> 00:07:23,504
NIGEL: I don't live here, Zoey,
I merely pay the rent.

129
00:07:24,243 --> 00:07:26,677
I just don't wanna leave things
the way they are.

130
00:07:26,846 --> 00:07:28,837
-Everything's fine.
-No, it's not.

131
00:07:29,015 --> 00:07:32,849
I said I love you. Only response I got
is the not-very-surprising information...

132
00:07:33,019 --> 00:07:35,351
...that you don't wanna die
in a crashing plane.

133
00:07:35,521 --> 00:07:38,354
-Can't we discuss this when I get back?
-What's to discuss?

134
00:07:38,524 --> 00:07:41,220
You either love me or you don't.

135
00:07:41,394 --> 00:07:44,056
I'm about to leave
on an important business trip.

136
00:07:44,263 --> 00:07:46,356
The last thing I need now
is more pressure.

137
00:07:46,532 --> 00:07:47,556
I'm not pressuring.

138
00:07:47,767 --> 00:07:51,134
I'm asking for a simple definitive answer
right now before you leave.

139
00:07:51,304 --> 00:07:52,328
[OBJECT CRASHING]

140
00:07:52,505 --> 00:07:53,699
-What was that?
NIGEL: Sorry...

141
00:07:53,873 --> 00:07:55,397
...knocked over
your Chinese table lamp.

142
00:07:55,575 --> 00:07:58,908
Perhaps you can buy another one
next time you jet to San Francisco.

143
00:08:00,980 --> 00:08:02,004
It came up.

144
00:08:02,849 --> 00:08:05,579
I'm sorry, I just don't have the time
for this now, okay?

145
00:08:05,785 --> 00:08:07,377
Ava, are you dressed?

146
00:08:09,889 --> 00:08:13,052
Well, that seems pretty
definitive to me.

147
00:08:15,828 --> 00:08:20,162
That's it, no more relationships.
I'm done, finished, just over.

148
00:08:20,333 --> 00:08:21,857
[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]

149
00:08:25,404 --> 00:08:28,305
-Hi.
-Hi.

150
00:08:31,544 --> 00:08:33,944
And I'm back.

151
00:08:40,586 --> 00:08:43,077
Hey, can I have 75 bucks
for the new "Call of Duty"?

152
00:08:43,956 --> 00:08:45,787
Seventy-five dollars
for a video game?

153
00:08:45,958 --> 00:08:47,687
Think of it as an investment.

154
00:08:51,130 --> 00:08:52,324
An investment.

155
00:08:52,832 --> 00:08:55,130
Yeah, if I go into the Army
after high school...

156
00:08:55,301 --> 00:08:57,997
...I'll already know how
to kill terrorists.

157
00:08:58,804 --> 00:09:01,432
Who had corn chowder
for dinner last night?

158
00:09:01,607 --> 00:09:03,700
How do you know
anybody had corn chowder?

159
00:09:03,910 --> 00:09:07,209
BERTA: Because it's dripping
all over your bathroom.

160
00:09:07,413 --> 00:09:08,675
Sorry about that.

161
00:09:08,848 --> 00:09:12,340
Lyndsey got a little bit queasy
this morning.

162
00:09:12,518 --> 00:09:15,612
BERTA: She pregnant?
-Oh, no, no. Gosh, no.

163
00:09:15,788 --> 00:09:17,016
[ALAN CHUCKLES]

164
00:09:17,456 --> 00:09:18,548
Absolutely not.

165
00:09:21,027 --> 00:09:23,120
-Here.
-Me?

166
00:09:23,296 --> 00:09:26,129
Not my girlfriend, not my vomit,
not my problem.

167
00:09:27,800 --> 00:09:29,392
-I'll clean it up.
-You will?

168
00:09:29,569 --> 00:09:30,866
For 75 bucks.

169
00:09:31,504 --> 00:09:34,837
JENNIFER [LAUGHING]: That's great.
-Hey, everybody.

170
00:09:37,176 --> 00:09:38,837
-This is Jennifer.
-Hi.

171
00:09:39,879 --> 00:09:40,903
BERTA: Hey.
-Hey.

172
00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:42,445
Hey.

173
00:09:43,449 --> 00:09:45,542
-Let's go take a walk on the beach.
-Great.

174
00:09:45,718 --> 00:09:49,176
Oh. Walden, before you go,
can I talk to you for a minute?

175
00:09:54,560 --> 00:09:56,551
-I'll bring him right back.
-You'd better. Ha-ha.

176
00:10:00,066 --> 00:10:01,090
My name's Jake.

177
00:10:01,601 --> 00:10:02,659
Hi, Jake.

178
00:10:02,835 --> 00:10:05,998
My friends call me Jake.

179
00:10:08,774 --> 00:10:11,242
-What are you doing?
-Zoey made it perfectly clear.

180
00:10:11,410 --> 00:10:14,174
She doesn't love me or need me,
so I'm moving on.

181
00:10:15,014 --> 00:10:18,347
You left here an hour ago.
How did you find another girl already?

182
00:10:18,517 --> 00:10:21,452
-Oh. Met her in the elevator.
-I've been in a million elevators.

183
00:10:21,621 --> 00:10:23,612
Never walked out with a girl like that.

184
00:10:23,789 --> 00:10:26,622
Maybe you need to work
on your attitude.

185
00:10:27,059 --> 00:10:28,424
What exactly did Zoey say?

186
00:10:28,594 --> 00:10:31,688
No, it's what she didn't say.
She didn't say "l love you."

187
00:10:31,864 --> 00:10:34,560
Oh, please, if I insisted
on women saying "l love you"...

188
00:10:34,734 --> 00:10:37,897
... I'd have never had a girlfriend,
a wife or a mother.

189
00:10:38,070 --> 00:10:40,971
[CELL PHONE RINGING]

190
00:10:43,275 --> 00:10:44,867
It's Zoey.

191
00:10:47,046 --> 00:10:48,274
Hello?

192
00:10:48,881 --> 00:10:50,746
So, Jennifer, how old are you?

193
00:10:50,916 --> 00:10:52,543
Twenty-four. How old are you?

194
00:10:52,718 --> 00:10:56,017
-I'm 24 and a half.
-Hmm.

195
00:11:02,795 --> 00:11:04,057
JAKE:
Hmm?

196
00:11:06,098 --> 00:11:08,259
I'm surprised that you called.
Where are you?

197
00:11:08,434 --> 00:11:10,459
<i>On the plane. We're sitting at the gate.</i>

198
00:11:10,636 --> 00:11:12,001
Are you okay?

199
00:11:12,171 --> 00:11:14,571
<i>No. I feel miserable
about the way we left things.</i>

200
00:11:14,740 --> 00:11:16,503
-You do?
-<i>Yeah.</i>

201
00:11:16,676 --> 00:11:18,837
<i>I've just been so stressed
and busy lately...</i>

202
00:11:19,045 --> 00:11:21,605
<i>...that I haven't been able
to think straight.</i>

203
00:11:21,781 --> 00:11:24,147
<i>But sitting here
for the last 40 minutes...</i>

204
00:11:24,316 --> 00:11:27,843
<i>...without so much
as a bloody glass of water...</i>

205
00:11:28,054 --> 00:11:29,954
<i>...I've come to a realization.</i>

206
00:11:30,122 --> 00:11:31,350
I'm listening.

207
00:11:31,557 --> 00:11:36,494
<i>The reason I haven't said
those words to you...</i>

208
00:11:36,662 --> 00:11:40,689
<i>...is because I'm afraid that if I do
say them, something bad will happen.</i>

209
00:11:41,267 --> 00:11:44,134
-Why would you think that?
-<i>Because it always has.</i>

210
00:11:44,303 --> 00:11:46,703
<i>I've only said those words twice.</i>

211
00:11:46,872 --> 00:11:51,332
<i>The last time I ended up married
to an insufferable twit.</i>

212
00:11:51,510 --> 00:11:52,977
And the time before that?

213
00:11:53,145 --> 00:11:57,104
<i>I got a thank-you note
and a Swatch watch from Russell Brand.</i>

214
00:11:57,650 --> 00:11:58,708
Russell Brand?

215
00:11:58,884 --> 00:12:01,478
<i>Not my proudest moment.</i>

216
00:12:01,654 --> 00:12:05,181
Okay, I get it. So you're
just superstitious about saying it.

217
00:12:05,357 --> 00:12:07,518
Nothing to do with the way
you feel about me.

218
00:12:07,693 --> 00:12:10,184
<i>No, not at all.</i>

219
00:12:11,197 --> 00:12:13,665
<i>The whole reason I called
is to tell you that I honestly--</i>

220
00:12:13,833 --> 00:12:16,859
Oh! There you are. Mm.

221
00:12:17,036 --> 00:12:20,199
-Cool bedroom.
-<i>Who's that?</i>

222
00:12:21,440 --> 00:12:23,408
Uh-- Berta.

223
00:12:23,976 --> 00:12:26,240
<i>You couldn't even wait
until my plane takes off?</i>

224
00:12:26,412 --> 00:12:27,640
It's not what you think.

225
00:12:27,813 --> 00:12:30,475
-<i>Goodbye, Walden.</i>
-No, no, Zoey, just--

226
00:12:32,752 --> 00:12:34,379
[IN SINGSONG VOICE]
Awkward.

227
00:12:44,163 --> 00:12:45,187
[SIGHS]

228
00:12:45,364 --> 00:12:48,822
I can't believe
I kiss the mouth that did this.

229
00:12:49,535 --> 00:12:50,661
Alan, I need to talk to you.

230
00:12:50,836 --> 00:12:51,860
[GAGS]

231
00:12:53,572 --> 00:12:56,234
-Can we do it out here?
-Gladly.

232
00:12:56,408 --> 00:12:57,898
Oh, good Lord.

233
00:12:58,077 --> 00:13:00,910
Looks like someone cleaned a deer
in the bathtub.

234
00:13:03,549 --> 00:13:06,177
-What's going on?
-Zoey FaceTimed me from the plane.

235
00:13:06,352 --> 00:13:08,081
-To tell me that she loves me.
-Good.

236
00:13:08,254 --> 00:13:10,415
-But she saw Jennifer in my bedroom.
-Bad.

237
00:13:10,589 --> 00:13:12,682
-Immediately tried to call her back.
-Good.

238
00:13:12,858 --> 00:13:14,120
-She wouldn't answer.
-Bad.

239
00:13:14,293 --> 00:13:16,693
Gonna fuel my jet, fly to London,
beg forgiveness.

240
00:13:16,862 --> 00:13:18,090
-Good.
-Will you stop that?

241
00:13:19,365 --> 00:13:21,265
-I need you to come with me.
-Me? Why?

242
00:13:21,433 --> 00:13:24,459
I need a witness. You can say
nothing happened with Jennifer.

243
00:13:24,670 --> 00:13:25,762
Great, I'm your man.

244
00:13:28,741 --> 00:13:31,141
I am not gonna touch that glove.

245
00:13:31,310 --> 00:13:34,370
-Come on.
-Oh! I promised Lyndsey I'd take her out...

246
00:13:34,547 --> 00:13:37,141
-...to a big fancy romantic dinner tonight.
-Bring her.

247
00:13:37,316 --> 00:13:38,544
-Really?
-Yeah, sure.

248
00:13:38,717 --> 00:13:43,279
A private jet to London does beat an
1 1-year-old Volvo to the Olive Garden.

249
00:13:43,455 --> 00:13:46,754
-I'll pack a bag.
-No time. I'll buy whatever in London.

250
00:13:46,926 --> 00:13:48,223
-You're kidding.
-Come on.

251
00:13:48,394 --> 00:13:53,058
Hey, if Zoey won't say it, I will.
I love you, Walden Schmidt.

252
00:14:03,108 --> 00:14:06,236
Thank you, Walden.
This is just incredible.

253
00:14:06,412 --> 00:14:07,640
Glad you like it.

254
00:14:07,813 --> 00:14:10,907
What'd your son say when you told him
you were flying to London?

255
00:14:11,083 --> 00:14:13,574
He told me to bring him back
some English pot.

256
00:14:16,722 --> 00:14:18,485
This is definitely the way to travel.

257
00:14:18,657 --> 00:14:20,818
No boarding passes,
no airport security.

258
00:14:20,993 --> 00:14:24,224
None of those scanners that
show strangers the size of your dingle.

259
00:14:25,231 --> 00:14:27,665
Don't you worry about your dingle,
honey.

260
00:14:28,434 --> 00:14:30,095
He's a grower, not a shower.

261
00:14:30,269 --> 00:14:33,033
-Yeah, he told me.
-He tells everyone.

262
00:14:39,845 --> 00:14:41,369
JAKE:
Can I interest you in a brewski?

263
00:14:42,781 --> 00:14:46,376
-What?
-That's Polish for "Do you want a beer?"

264
00:14:47,119 --> 00:14:50,111
I've traveled extensively through Asia.

265
00:14:51,156 --> 00:14:53,750
Wow, thanks.

266
00:14:55,527 --> 00:14:57,859
Are you sure Walden said
he'd be right back?

267
00:14:58,030 --> 00:15:01,488
-Forget Walden. Let's talk about us.
-Us?

268
00:15:01,667 --> 00:15:03,567
That's English for "you and me."

269
00:15:10,042 --> 00:15:12,340
[SINGING] <i>Poppin' bottles in the ice
Like a blizzard</i>

270
00:15:12,511 --> 00:15:14,911
<i>When we're drunk, we do it right
Gettin' slizzard</i>

271
00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:16,775
<i>Like a G-6, like a G-6</i>

272
00:15:17,182 --> 00:15:19,650
Why don't you take your seat,
put your seatbelt on?

273
00:15:19,818 --> 00:15:21,786
Pish, pish, party pooper.

274
00:15:22,888 --> 00:15:26,756
Wally, this is so romantic,
what you're doing.

275
00:15:26,926 --> 00:15:32,364
You're flying across a whole ocean
just to win back the woman you love.

276
00:15:32,698 --> 00:15:33,790
Thank you.

277
00:15:34,833 --> 00:15:37,893
Alan, sweetie,
I need to tell you something.

278
00:15:38,070 --> 00:15:39,094
Yeah?

279
00:15:39,305 --> 00:15:41,170
I know I give you a hard time.

280
00:15:42,374 --> 00:15:47,710
But in my heart, I really, really lo--

281
00:15:49,748 --> 00:15:50,772
[LYNDSEY VOMITING]

282
00:15:50,950 --> 00:15:53,077
ALAN:
Oh, God!

283
00:15:53,719 --> 00:15:55,812
-I'm so sorry.
ALAN: Oh, oh.

284
00:15:56,889 --> 00:15:57,947
LYNDSEY:
I'm so--

285
00:15:58,123 --> 00:16:00,318
-Here. Here.
-Oh, thank you.

286
00:16:00,492 --> 00:16:02,255
[LYNDSEY VOMITING]

287
00:16:02,428 --> 00:16:05,454
Oh, God! Oh, God!

288
00:16:05,631 --> 00:16:08,191
-Oh, God!
-Hang on, I'll get some towels.

289
00:16:09,501 --> 00:16:10,525
Aah!

290
00:16:11,770 --> 00:16:13,397
PILOT: <i>Okay, folks,
we've got clear skies ahead...</i>

291
00:16:13,572 --> 00:16:14,834
[WALDEN, ALAN, LYNDSEY VOMITING]

292
00:16:15,007 --> 00:16:17,100
<i>...and we'll be in London
in approximately four hours.</i>

293
00:16:17,276 --> 00:16:19,608
<i>So just sit back
and enjoy the rest of your flight.</i>

294
00:16:19,945 --> 00:16:21,879
[VOMITING CONTINUES]

295
00:16:25,718 --> 00:16:27,549
Bottom line, Zoey, I can assure you...

296
00:16:27,720 --> 00:16:30,314
...that nothing happened
between Walden and that woman.

297
00:16:30,489 --> 00:16:31,547
Really?

298
00:16:31,724 --> 00:16:33,783
What reason would I have
to lie to you?

299
00:16:33,959 --> 00:16:36,928
For one, he gave you and Lyndsey
a free trip to London...

300
00:16:37,096 --> 00:16:42,227
...where you all inexplicably decided
to dress up like Japanese tourists.

301
00:16:42,401 --> 00:16:45,427
That's my fault.
I kind of threw up on them a little.

302
00:16:45,604 --> 00:16:47,731
A little?
I might have to get a new plane.

303
00:16:49,008 --> 00:16:50,566
That's all very interesting.

304
00:16:50,743 --> 00:16:53,268
But the fact remains
you still invited my neighbor...

305
00:16:53,445 --> 00:16:56,107
...the whore from the seventh floor,
back to your house.

306
00:16:56,281 --> 00:16:57,908
Yeah, but nothing happened.

307
00:16:58,083 --> 00:17:00,677
Nothing happened
because I called and interrupted you.

308
00:17:01,687 --> 00:17:04,247
Okay, I think we're saying
the same thing here.

309
00:17:04,423 --> 00:17:06,015
Listen, the fact is, I love you.

310
00:17:06,692 --> 00:17:08,990
Okay? And I was an idiot
to put pressure on you.

311
00:17:09,161 --> 00:17:13,291
And I made a terrible mistake
and I'm very, very sorry.

312
00:17:18,837 --> 00:17:20,327
Okay.

313
00:17:21,940 --> 00:17:24,340
We should-- I think we should go.

314
00:17:28,447 --> 00:17:29,744
I do love you, Walden.

315
00:17:33,018 --> 00:17:35,987
-You do?
-Of course I do.

316
00:17:36,155 --> 00:17:38,521
That's why I called you from the plane,
you ninny.

317
00:17:40,492 --> 00:17:44,519
So you forgive me?

318
00:17:45,631 --> 00:17:47,223
That depends.

319
00:17:47,433 --> 00:17:49,458
Do I have to worry every time
we fight...

320
00:17:49,635 --> 00:17:52,195
...that you're gonna go out
and pick up another woman?

321
00:17:52,371 --> 00:17:54,498
Not as long as
I know that you love me.

322
00:17:55,374 --> 00:17:57,467
Good answer.

323
00:17:59,311 --> 00:18:00,938
Come here.

324
00:18:12,458 --> 00:18:16,326
-I love you, Lyndsey.
-And I love you.

325
00:18:17,963 --> 00:18:19,590
[LYNDSEY GAGGING]

326
00:18:19,765 --> 00:18:20,789
ALAN:
Not in my mouth.

327
00:18:20,966 --> 00:18:21,990
[LYNDSEY VOMITING]

328
00:18:22,167 --> 00:18:24,101
-Oh, God.
-Oh, God.

329
00:18:24,336 --> 00:18:26,327
[WALDEN AND ZOEY VOMITING]

330
00:18:35,047 --> 00:18:37,948
No, seriously, dude. No lie.

331
00:18:38,117 --> 00:18:41,382
All right, fine, you don't believe me?
Here.

332
00:18:45,424 --> 00:18:50,054
Yep, five times.
Best half-hour of my life.

333
00:18:52,397 --> 00:18:54,058
[WALDEN GAGS]

334
00:19:17,823 --> 00:19:19,916
[English - US - SDH]