1
00:00:03,315 --> 00:00:05,249
I'm just gonna run to the
store and get a few things.
2
00:00:05,251 --> 00:00:06,284
I'll pick you up
when you're done.
3
00:00:06,534 --> 00:00:07,177
Okay.
4
00:00:07,221 --> 00:00:10,094
I like it a little better
when you stay, but all right.
5
00:00:10,751 --> 00:00:11,564
Hey, Sheldon.
6
00:00:11,663 --> 00:00:13,497
Hello. I'm here for my haircut
7
00:00:13,545 --> 00:00:14,877
with Mr. D'Onofrio.
8
00:00:14,981 --> 00:00:16,915
I'm sorry, Uncle Tony's
in the hospital.
9
00:00:16,917 --> 00:00:18,116
He's pretty sick.
10
00:00:18,446 --> 00:00:21,776
Oh, dear, Mr. D'Onofrio's
in the hospital.
11
00:00:22,056 --> 00:00:24,624
Why do these things
always happen to me?
12
00:00:24,980 --> 00:00:26,164
I can cut it for you.
13
00:00:26,510 --> 00:00:28,393
You're not Mr. D'Onofrio.
14
00:00:29,212 --> 00:00:31,296
I get my hair cut
by Mr. D'Onofrio.
15
00:00:31,821 --> 00:00:33,120
You believe
this guy?
16
00:00:34,500 --> 00:00:35,833
Excuse us for a second.
17
00:00:35,835 --> 00:00:37,352
Sheldon, it's okay,
he can do it.
18
00:00:37,354 --> 00:00:38,470
He's a barber.
19
00:00:38,472 --> 00:00:41,273
He's not a barber,
he's the nephew.
20
00:00:41,275 --> 00:00:42,807
He's an example
of the kind
21
00:00:42,809 --> 00:00:46,111
of nepotism that runs rampant
in the barbering industry.
22
00:00:46,113 --> 00:00:47,779
Besides, Mr.
D'Onofrio knows
23
00:00:47,781 --> 00:00:50,348
exactly how I like my
hair done because he has
24
00:00:50,350 --> 00:00:53,552
all my haircut records
from my barber in Texas.
25
00:00:53,554 --> 00:00:55,353
What are you talking about?
26
00:00:55,355 --> 00:00:56,488
When I first
moved here,
27
00:00:56,490 --> 00:00:59,124
I was nervous about
finding a new barber,
28
00:00:59,126 --> 00:01:01,042
so my mother had all
my haircut records
29
00:01:01,044 --> 00:01:03,194
sent here to
Mr. D'Onofrio.
30
00:01:04,196 --> 00:01:07,666
There's no such thing
as haircut records.
31
00:01:07,668 --> 00:01:10,468
Yes, there are.
32
00:01:10,470 --> 00:01:11,670
Have you ever seen them?
33
00:01:11,672 --> 00:01:14,239
No, but my mother assured
me they were sent here,
34
00:01:14,241 --> 00:01:16,057
and I'll bet you
dollars to donuts
35
00:01:16,059 --> 00:01:17,659
that this one
doesn't have them.
36
00:01:18,227 --> 00:01:19,494
Uh, excuse me.
37
00:01:19,496 --> 00:01:22,097
Do you have access
to my haircut records?
38
00:01:22,099 --> 00:01:23,732
Your what?
39
00:01:23,734 --> 00:01:25,550
To paraphrase T.S. Eliot,
40
00:01:25,552 --> 00:01:27,068
this is the way
the world ends--
41
00:01:27,070 --> 00:01:30,071
not with a bang
but with a nephew.
44
00:01:38,248 --> 00:01:40,064
Just sit down
45
00:01:40,066 --> 00:01:41,082
and let him do it.
46
00:01:41,084 --> 00:01:42,734
Fine, but if I come
out of this
47
00:01:42,736 --> 00:01:44,719
looking like a dork,
it's on you.
48
00:01:53,430 --> 00:01:55,130
So my kid said
the funniest thing today.
49
00:01:55,132 --> 00:01:56,214
Nope.
50
00:02:00,269 --> 00:02:02,604
When you tell this story later,
51
00:02:02,606 --> 00:02:06,024
the word we usually use is
"quirky."
52
00:02:06,026 --> 00:02:09,394
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
53
00:02:09,396 --> 00:02:12,981
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
54
00:02:12,983 --> 00:02:14,549
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
55
00:02:14,551 --> 00:02:17,035
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
56
00:02:17,037 --> 00:02:19,704
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
57
00:02:19,706 --> 00:02:22,424
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
58
00:02:22,426 --> 00:02:24,326
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
59
00:02:24,328 --> 00:02:25,325
♪ Bang! ♪
60
00:02:25,326 --> 00:02:28,182
The Big Bang Theory 5x18
The Werewolf Transformation
Original Air Date on February 23, 2012
61
00:02:28,286 --> 00:02:31,011
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther
62
00:02:32,559 --> 00:02:33,770
Can you pass
the Parmesan cheese?
63
00:02:33,771 --> 00:02:36,021
Sure.
64
00:02:44,206 --> 00:02:45,229
What are you doing?
65
00:02:45,276 --> 00:02:47,309
I'm trying to get the hair
out of my eyes.
66
00:02:48,357 --> 00:02:48,881
Sheldon,
67
00:02:48,928 --> 00:02:51,120
you are one day late
for your haircut.
68
00:02:51,245 --> 00:02:53,929
Thank you for captioning
my nightmare.
69
00:02:55,781 --> 00:02:58,383
Lookie here,
I got my travel orders.
70
00:02:59,886 --> 00:03:02,087
"Payload Specialist Howard
Wolowitz is requested
71
00:03:02,089 --> 00:03:04,789
"to report to the NASA
Johnson Space Center,
72
00:03:04,791 --> 00:03:05,891
"Houston, Texas,
73
00:03:05,893 --> 00:03:08,060
for astronaut training
Monday 8:00 a.m."
74
00:03:08,062 --> 00:03:11,063
Yeah, but it's from NASA,
so it's 0800.
75
00:03:11,065 --> 00:03:12,814
But it says
"8:00 a.m""
76
00:03:14,233 --> 00:03:16,468
You read it as "0800."
77
00:03:16,470 --> 00:03:18,570
It doesn't have an
"O" in front of it.
78
00:03:18,572 --> 00:03:21,273
You know what does have
an "oh" in front of it?
79
00:03:21,275 --> 00:03:24,126
"Oh, my God, I'm an astronaut,
and you're dying of jealousy."
80
00:03:26,145 --> 00:03:27,412
So, what kind of
things are they...?
81
00:03:27,414 --> 00:03:29,981
Will you stop that?
82
00:03:29,983 --> 00:03:34,469
I can't help it,
I feel like a teen heartthrob.
83
00:03:35,972 --> 00:03:37,989
You know, Sheldon,
I used to cut my brother's hair.
84
00:03:37,991 --> 00:03:38,990
I could do it for you.
85
00:03:38,992 --> 00:03:41,960
Penny, I know you mean well,
86
00:03:41,962 --> 00:03:44,846
offering the skills
of the hill folk, but, um,
87
00:03:44,848 --> 00:03:46,631
here in town,
88
00:03:46,633 --> 00:03:48,550
we don't churn our own butter,
89
00:03:48,552 --> 00:03:50,719
we don't make dresses
out of gunny sacks,
90
00:03:50,721 --> 00:03:53,188
and, uh, we sure as shootin'
don't get our hair cut
91
00:03:53,190 --> 00:03:54,189
by bottle-blonde...
92
00:03:54,191 --> 00:03:56,074
Sheldon, be nice.
93
00:03:56,076 --> 00:03:58,643
I'm sorry,
it's the bad boy attitude
94
00:03:58,645 --> 00:04:00,028
that comes with this hair.
95
00:04:03,849 --> 00:04:04,866
You could go to my guy.
96
00:04:04,868 --> 00:04:06,735
He's at Juan-Juan
in Beverly Hills.
97
00:04:06,737 --> 00:04:08,787
They bring you a cup of tea,
they'll massage your scalp.
98
00:04:08,789 --> 00:04:11,856
It's about $200, but sometimes
you look in the next chair
99
00:04:11,858 --> 00:04:15,243
and you see a superstar
like Tony Danza.
100
00:04:16,517 --> 00:04:17,729
Quick question here.
101
00:04:17,729 --> 00:04:19,322
Have we actually changed
the conversation
102
00:04:19,383 --> 00:04:20,916
from "I'm going
to astronaut training"
103
00:04:20,918 --> 00:04:23,701
to "Sheldon can't
get a haircut"?
104
00:04:23,703 --> 00:04:24,853
Now who's dying of jealousy?
105
00:04:24,855 --> 00:04:28,340
"Oh," it's you.
106
00:04:30,810 --> 00:04:33,678
♪ I'm a cowboy ♪
107
00:04:33,680 --> 00:04:36,515
♪ On a steel horse
I ride ♪
108
00:04:36,517 --> 00:04:39,217
♪ I'm wanted ♪
109
00:04:41,187 --> 00:04:43,889
♪ I'm wanted ♪
110
00:04:45,608 --> 00:04:47,609
♪ Wanted ♪
111
00:04:47,611 --> 00:04:50,278
♪ Dead or alive. ♪
112
00:04:50,663 --> 00:04:51,267
Sheldon,
113
00:04:51,267 --> 00:04:53,175
you're ruining girlfriend-
boyfriend sing-along night.
114
00:04:54,597 --> 00:04:55,511
I'm sorry.
115
00:04:55,569 --> 00:04:58,787
I'm looking for a barber
and I'm running out of time.
116
00:04:58,789 --> 00:04:59,888
My hair is growing at the rate
117
00:04:59,890 --> 00:05:03,291
of 4.6 yoctometers
per femtosecond.
118
00:05:04,160 --> 00:05:06,928
I mean, if you're quiet,
you can hear it.
119
00:05:07,746 --> 00:05:10,582
What about Supercuts?
120
00:05:10,584 --> 00:05:11,583
I tried once.
121
00:05:11,585 --> 00:05:12,901
They do men's and women's hair
122
00:05:12,903 --> 00:05:15,303
in the same room
at the same time.
123
00:05:15,305 --> 00:05:18,273
It's like Sodom and Gomorrah
with mousse.
124
00:05:18,275 --> 00:05:20,859
Well, this isn't
a crisis.
125
00:05:20,861 --> 00:05:22,978
Why don't you just let
your hair grow out a little?
126
00:05:22,980 --> 00:05:24,095
Why don't I let
127
00:05:24,097 --> 00:05:25,213
my hair grow out?
128
00:05:25,215 --> 00:05:27,849
Um, why don't I start
wearing Birkenstocks
129
00:05:27,851 --> 00:05:30,869
and seeking validation
of my opinions by asking
130
00:05:30,871 --> 00:05:32,420
"Can you dig it?"
131
00:05:32,422 --> 00:05:35,090
Well, I don't know.
132
00:05:35,092 --> 00:05:37,225
I think you might look
sexy with long hair.
133
00:05:38,461 --> 00:05:41,213
The kind that flows down
to your shoulders
134
00:05:41,215 --> 00:05:44,666
and blows back
while riding on a horse.
135
00:05:46,769 --> 00:05:49,404
Bareback and bare-chested.
136
00:05:51,674 --> 00:05:54,426
I'm gonna go brush my teeth;
it might take a while.
137
00:05:59,465 --> 00:06:00,599
Hi.
138
00:06:00,601 --> 00:06:02,000
Hi, sweetie.
139
00:06:02,002 --> 00:06:03,201
I miss you.
140
00:06:03,203 --> 00:06:04,769
I miss you, too.
141
00:06:04,771 --> 00:06:07,355
So tell me
all about your first day.
142
00:06:07,357 --> 00:06:09,841
Oh, wow, where do I even start?
143
00:06:09,843 --> 00:06:13,161
I got to experience
zero gravity.
144
00:06:13,163 --> 00:06:14,446
Cool. How do they do that?
145
00:06:14,448 --> 00:06:15,447
It's pretty neat.
146
00:06:15,449 --> 00:06:16,681
You get in this plane
147
00:06:16,683 --> 00:06:20,702
that goes almost straight up
for, like, 20 seconds,
148
00:06:20,704 --> 00:06:25,340
and then straight back down
like it's going to crash, and
149
00:06:25,342 --> 00:06:26,625
they do it
150
00:06:26,627 --> 00:06:28,627
over and over again, you know,
151
00:06:28,629 --> 00:06:30,828
no matter how many times
you throw up.
152
00:06:30,830 --> 00:06:32,664
You threw up?
153
00:06:32,666 --> 00:06:36,218
Yeah... and the craziest part
is, because there's no gravity,
154
00:06:36,220 --> 00:06:40,972
the throw-up kind of
floats there...
155
00:06:40,974 --> 00:06:42,173
in a little ball,
156
00:06:42,175 --> 00:06:43,658
and
157
00:06:43,660 --> 00:06:47,195
if your mouth is open
because you're screaming...
158
00:06:48,764 --> 00:06:51,950
...sometimes it just floats
right back in.
159
00:06:55,187 --> 00:06:58,406
Boy, does everyone laugh
at you when that happens.
160
00:06:58,408 --> 00:06:59,407
That sounds mean.
161
00:06:59,409 --> 00:07:00,458
No.
162
00:07:00,460 --> 00:07:01,960
Yeah, I would have laughed, too,
163
00:07:01,962 --> 00:07:04,129
but I didn't want the vomit
to come back out.
164
00:07:07,167 --> 00:07:09,134
Anyway...
165
00:07:09,136 --> 00:07:11,035
Oh, could you do me a favor
166
00:07:11,037 --> 00:07:14,389
and overnight me
some more underwear?
167
00:07:14,391 --> 00:07:15,707
Sure, why?
168
00:07:15,709 --> 00:07:17,092
I got a look at the centrifuge
169
00:07:17,094 --> 00:07:18,793
they're going to spin me
around in tomorrow,
170
00:07:18,795 --> 00:07:21,162
and I have a hunch
I packed a little light.
171
00:07:29,238 --> 00:07:31,906
Mr. D'Onofrio?
172
00:07:31,908 --> 00:07:33,692
It's me, Sheldon.
173
00:07:34,527 --> 00:07:36,444
They didn't have
anything barber-themed
174
00:07:36,446 --> 00:07:40,198
in the gift shop,
so I got you this.
175
00:07:40,200 --> 00:07:42,233
I don't know if you can read
his little T-shirt.
176
00:07:42,235 --> 00:07:45,253
It says, um,
"Get well bear-y soon."
177
00:07:46,839 --> 00:07:49,007
Trust me, if you were even
a little conscious right now,
178
00:07:49,009 --> 00:07:50,041
you'd be laughing.
179
00:07:52,962 --> 00:07:56,264
Anyway...
180
00:07:56,266 --> 00:08:00,935
There's new studies that show,
people in comas are aware
181
00:08:00,937 --> 00:08:03,254
of everything going on
around them.
182
00:08:03,256 --> 00:08:06,308
With that in mind,
if you can hear me,
183
00:08:06,310 --> 00:08:08,226
move away from the light
184
00:08:08,228 --> 00:08:12,030
and toward the sound
of these scissors.
185
00:08:13,116 --> 00:08:14,783
Can I help you?
186
00:08:14,785 --> 00:08:16,034
Yes.
187
00:08:16,036 --> 00:08:19,988
Do you have something
I could use as a cape?
188
00:08:19,990 --> 00:08:22,607
Oh, dear,
did we spit out our pills,
189
00:08:22,609 --> 00:08:26,211
slip out of the ninth floor,
and go on a little adventure?
190
00:08:26,213 --> 00:08:28,213
Oh, no,
191
00:08:28,215 --> 00:08:31,282
no, I'm just here
to get my hair cut.
192
00:08:34,053 --> 00:08:36,004
I-I see.
193
00:08:36,006 --> 00:08:38,973
J-Jus-Just wait here one moment.
194
00:08:38,975 --> 00:08:41,009
Security!
195
00:08:41,011 --> 00:08:43,628
I got to run.
196
00:08:43,630 --> 00:08:46,848
But not with scissors--
that would be unsafe.
197
00:08:53,299 --> 00:08:57,618
So, if I move
my horsey here...
198
00:08:59,277 --> 00:09:02,396
...isn't that checkmate
and I win?
199
00:09:08,832 --> 00:09:10,582
Hmm.
200
00:09:12,095 --> 00:09:14,119
Well, is it
or isn't it?
201
00:09:15,415 --> 00:09:18,284
You know, I think this is
a good stopping point.
202
00:09:19,308 --> 00:09:21,275
Uh, it's your
first real game.
203
00:09:21,277 --> 00:09:23,110
I threw a lot
of information at you.
204
00:09:23,112 --> 00:09:24,278
Well, no,
205
00:09:24,280 --> 00:09:25,646
I mean,
your king is trapped.
206
00:09:25,648 --> 00:09:28,449
He can't go here
because of my lighthouse,
207
00:09:28,451 --> 00:09:31,151
and...
208
00:09:31,153 --> 00:09:35,289
he can't go here because
of my pointy-head guy.
209
00:09:36,174 --> 00:09:39,126
Like I said, complicated game.
210
00:09:39,128 --> 00:09:41,345
So did I win or not?
211
00:09:41,347 --> 00:09:42,630
Did you have fun?
212
00:09:42,632 --> 00:09:44,432
Because if you had fun,
then you are, you are a winner.
213
00:09:44,434 --> 00:09:46,717
That's, that-that's
what chess is all about.
214
00:09:47,970 --> 00:09:49,387
Hello.
215
00:09:49,389 --> 00:09:50,388
- Hey.
- Oh, hey.
216
00:09:50,390 --> 00:09:51,772
Sorry, Sheldon, I'll move.
Eh, why?
217
00:09:51,774 --> 00:09:55,660
My spot, your spot--
what difference does it make?
218
00:09:59,147 --> 00:10:01,649
Okay, what just happened?
219
00:10:01,651 --> 00:10:03,017
I don't know.
220
00:10:03,019 --> 00:10:05,119
Between you playing chess
like Bobby Fischer
221
00:10:05,121 --> 00:10:08,072
and Sheldon being okay
with you in his spot,
222
00:10:08,074 --> 00:10:10,458
I'm guessing someone went
back in time, stepped on a bug,
223
00:10:10,460 --> 00:10:13,027
and changed the course
of human events.
224
00:10:13,862 --> 00:10:16,380
Uh, sweetie,
are you all right?
225
00:10:16,382 --> 00:10:18,883
No, I'm not all right.
226
00:10:18,885 --> 00:10:21,585
It's been six days since I
was supposed to get a haircut
227
00:10:21,587 --> 00:10:24,005
and nothing horrible
has happened.
228
00:10:24,007 --> 00:10:27,058
Okay, I'm sorry,
I don't understand.
229
00:10:27,060 --> 00:10:28,676
Leonard, explain it to her.
230
00:10:28,678 --> 00:10:31,846
Oh, uh, he's crazy.
231
00:10:33,015 --> 00:10:34,732
I have spent my whole life
232
00:10:34,734 --> 00:10:36,934
trying to bring order
to the universe
233
00:10:36,936 --> 00:10:39,887
by carefully planning
every moment of every day.
234
00:10:39,889 --> 00:10:41,055
But all my efforts--
235
00:10:41,057 --> 00:10:43,491
our dinner schedule,
my pajama rotation,
236
00:10:43,493 --> 00:10:45,726
my bowel movement spreadsheet--
237
00:10:45,728 --> 00:10:48,228
it's clear now,
238
00:10:48,230 --> 00:10:50,031
I've been wasting my time.
239
00:10:50,033 --> 00:10:54,368
Good. I'm taking that
disgusting chart off the fridge.
240
00:10:54,370 --> 00:10:56,921
You know, Sh-Sheldon,
241
00:10:56,923 --> 00:10:58,673
sometimes it's nice
not knowing what's coming.
242
00:10:58,675 --> 00:11:00,007
I mean, look at me and Leonard.
243
00:11:00,009 --> 00:11:02,209
We went out, we broke up,
now we're trying again.
244
00:11:02,211 --> 00:11:03,577
We don't know
what's gonna happen.
245
00:11:03,579 --> 00:11:06,430
Oh, please, everyone knows
what's going to happen.
246
00:11:08,083 --> 00:11:10,084
But I see your point.
247
00:11:10,086 --> 00:11:11,719
I think this could
be good for you.
248
00:11:11,721 --> 00:11:14,305
Maybe it's time for you
to shake things up a bit.
249
00:11:14,307 --> 00:11:16,474
You're right.
250
00:11:16,476 --> 00:11:18,726
I should embrace the chaos.
251
00:11:18,728 --> 00:11:20,478
Great.
252
00:11:20,480 --> 00:11:21,946
What are you going
to do first?
253
00:11:21,948 --> 00:11:22,980
I don't know.
254
00:11:22,982 --> 00:11:24,448
I could do anything.
255
00:11:24,450 --> 00:11:26,450
All bets are off.
256
00:11:26,452 --> 00:11:29,904
The world is my oyster.
257
00:11:29,906 --> 00:11:31,255
I got it.
258
00:11:31,257 --> 00:11:34,625
I'm going to put
on my Tuesday pajamas tonight.
259
00:11:39,081 --> 00:11:41,665
I got to tell you,
I'm a little worried about him.
260
00:11:41,667 --> 00:11:43,501
If I were you, I'd be
worried that a girl
261
00:11:43,503 --> 00:11:46,787
who's never played chess in
her life just kicked your ass.
262
00:11:59,751 --> 00:12:02,253
Hi.
263
00:12:02,255 --> 00:12:04,388
Howie, what happened to you?
264
00:12:04,390 --> 00:12:08,325
We did overnight survival
training in the wilderness.
265
00:12:08,327 --> 00:12:10,077
Big fun.
266
00:12:10,079 --> 00:12:12,913
Big, big fun.
267
00:12:12,915 --> 00:12:15,533
I was gonna freshen up for you
268
00:12:15,535 --> 00:12:19,687
but I blacked out a little
on the way to the bathroom.
269
00:12:20,708 --> 00:12:21,748
Survival training?
270
00:12:21,748 --> 00:12:22,863
Is that like camping?
271
00:12:22,887 --> 00:12:23,937
Uh-huh.
272
00:12:24,080 --> 00:12:26,814
Except you don't
have food or water,
273
00:12:27,565 --> 00:12:30,573
and they don't have
a sunset Sabbath service
274
00:12:30,616 --> 00:12:33,634
like they do
at Camp Hess-Kramer.
275
00:12:34,221 --> 00:12:35,878
Do you sleep in tents?
276
00:12:35,892 --> 00:12:36,923
No.
277
00:12:37,011 --> 00:12:39,256
I slept in a hole
278
00:12:39,373 --> 00:12:43,342
I dug in the ground
with my bare hands.
279
00:12:44,741 --> 00:12:47,079
And at some point
during the night,
280
00:12:47,079 --> 00:12:50,547
an armadillo crawled in
281
00:12:51,470 --> 00:12:53,355
and spooned me.
282
00:12:55,490 --> 00:12:56,954
Poor baby.
283
00:12:56,954 --> 00:12:57,968
But I did it.
284
00:12:58,025 --> 00:12:59,428
I survived.
285
00:12:59,467 --> 00:13:03,986
I wasn't sure I was going to
when the sandstorm hit.
286
00:13:05,011 --> 00:13:07,926
I just pulled my turtleneck
up over my head
287
00:13:08,843 --> 00:13:12,511
and waited for death.
288
00:13:12,513 --> 00:13:16,298
But somehow as I sat there,
289
00:13:16,300 --> 00:13:19,809
wrapped in a cocoon
of my own neck-sweat,
290
00:13:20,382 --> 00:13:25,168
I found that primal part
of the human spirit
291
00:13:25,459 --> 00:13:28,568
that just wants
to keep on living,
292
00:13:28,660 --> 00:13:30,753
no matter what the cost.
293
00:13:31,303 --> 00:13:32,619
You're so brave.
294
00:13:32,661 --> 00:13:34,328
I'm proud of you.
295
00:13:34,572 --> 00:13:38,257
I ate a butterfly.
296
00:13:44,433 --> 00:13:47,452
It was so small and...
297
00:13:48,070 --> 00:13:49,556
beautiful,
298
00:13:50,910 --> 00:13:53,145
but I was so hungry.
299
00:13:56,308 --> 00:13:57,786
Are you crying?
300
00:13:57,817 --> 00:14:00,634
No, I don't think it's possible.
301
00:14:00,711 --> 00:14:03,416
I'm severely dehydrated.
302
00:14:04,719 --> 00:14:08,304
My pee is like toothpaste.
303
00:14:08,946 --> 00:14:11,842
Howie, if you're not able
to do this, come home.
304
00:14:11,896 --> 00:14:14,454
It won't change
how I feel about you.
305
00:14:14,549 --> 00:14:17,567
Thanks, honey, but I can't quit.
306
00:14:18,249 --> 00:14:20,929
If I do, I'll just be a guy
307
00:14:20,929 --> 00:14:24,931
who had a chance to be an
astronaut and gave it up.
308
00:14:25,229 --> 00:14:27,462
Well, is there anything
I could do to help?
309
00:14:27,558 --> 00:14:29,659
No.
310
00:14:29,677 --> 00:14:30,513
Wait.
311
00:14:30,513 --> 00:14:32,671
Send more underwear.
312
00:14:43,084 --> 00:14:46,487
Don't let this
be Sheldon playing bongos.
313
00:14:50,628 --> 00:14:54,379
Please don't let this
be Sheldon playing bongos.
314
00:15:01,851 --> 00:15:05,620
Hello, Leonard,
do you like my bongos?
315
00:15:06,492 --> 00:15:09,810
Bet you didn't know
that I had bongos.
316
00:15:11,639 --> 00:15:13,589
Sheldon, it's 3:00 o'clock
in the morning.
317
00:15:13,943 --> 00:15:15,109
3:00 in the morning
318
00:15:15,142 --> 00:15:17,911
is a good time for bongos.
319
00:15:18,401 --> 00:15:20,001
I was sleeping.
320
00:15:20,042 --> 00:15:23,276
Leonard sleeps
while I play bongos.
321
00:15:24,523 --> 00:15:25,929
No, he doesn't.
322
00:15:26,039 --> 00:15:28,823
Leonard no sleep
while I play bongos.
323
00:15:29,674 --> 00:15:31,790
Bongo solo.
324
00:15:35,961 --> 00:15:37,328
Stop! Stop it!
325
00:15:37,330 --> 00:15:39,464
Stop! Stop! Stop it!
326
00:15:45,167 --> 00:15:46,592
- What the hell?!
- Oh, hi,
327
00:15:46,592 --> 00:15:47,741
Penny, guess what?
328
00:15:47,769 --> 00:15:49,953
Sheldon got bongos.
329
00:15:49,955 --> 00:15:51,571
Why did you get bongos?
330
00:15:51,573 --> 00:15:53,439
Richard Feynman
played the bongos.
331
00:15:53,441 --> 00:15:54,874
I thought I'd give that a try.
332
00:15:54,876 --> 00:15:56,609
Richard Feynman
was a famous physicist.
333
00:15:56,611 --> 00:15:58,277
Oh, Leonard, it's 3:00 o'clock
in the morning.
334
00:15:58,279 --> 00:16:00,163
I don't care if Richard Feynman
was a purple leprechaun
335
00:16:00,165 --> 00:16:02,131
who lived in my butt.
336
00:16:03,083 --> 00:16:06,169
Penny meant if he were
a purple leprechaun.
337
00:16:06,171 --> 00:16:07,286
Penny forgot
338
00:16:07,288 --> 00:16:09,472
to use the subjunctive.
339
00:16:11,450 --> 00:16:12,912
Sheldon, go to bed.
340
00:16:12,912 --> 00:16:14,429
You have work in the morning.
341
00:16:14,646 --> 00:16:15,895
Maybe, maybe not.
342
00:16:15,897 --> 00:16:18,798
Maybe tomorrow I start
a bongo band and tour the world.
343
00:16:20,810 --> 00:16:23,070
No, no, hang on,
uh, uh,
344
00:16:23,154 --> 00:16:24,470
Roommate Agreement.
345
00:16:24,855 --> 00:16:27,988
No hootenannies, sing-a-longs,
or barbershop quartets
346
00:16:27,988 --> 00:16:29,728
after 10:00 p.m.
347
00:16:30,292 --> 00:16:31,354
Roommate Agreement?
348
00:16:31,407 --> 00:16:32,522
Are you kidding?
349
00:16:32,649 --> 00:16:34,813
We are living in a world of chaos.
350
00:16:35,920 --> 00:16:37,936
Roommate Agreement.
351
00:16:39,580 --> 00:16:40,833
Where are you going?
352
00:16:40,833 --> 00:16:43,033
Wherever the music
takes me, kitten.
353
00:16:46,717 --> 00:16:48,077
I play bongos
354
00:16:48,215 --> 00:16:49,348
walking down the stairs.
355
00:16:50,334 --> 00:16:52,885
Oh! Oh!
356
00:16:54,603 --> 00:16:58,639
Never play bongos
walking down the stairs.
357
00:17:04,781 --> 00:17:05,897
Surprise.
358
00:17:05,899 --> 00:17:07,733
What are you doing here?
359
00:17:07,735 --> 00:17:09,451
I'm here to help you
get through this.
360
00:17:09,453 --> 00:17:11,620
You can't do it on your own,
you need someone
361
00:17:11,622 --> 00:17:12,871
to take care of you.
362
00:17:12,873 --> 00:17:14,172
Oh, I love you so much.
363
00:17:14,174 --> 00:17:15,490
Oh, I love you.
364
00:17:15,492 --> 00:17:18,877
Howard,
your bath is getting cold!
365
00:17:20,997 --> 00:17:23,382
Don't worry, once
she falls asleep,
366
00:17:23,384 --> 00:17:26,134
I'll spoon you
like an armadillo.
367
00:17:30,340 --> 00:17:34,426
He showed up in the middle
of the night with his bongos.
368
00:17:34,428 --> 00:17:38,380
I foolishly thought it was some
sort of musical booty call.
369
00:17:39,399 --> 00:17:41,416
Poor guy.
370
00:17:41,418 --> 00:17:43,331
He must have been exhausted.
371
00:17:43,734 --> 00:17:47,429
Sheldon like to sleep
while Leonard play the bongo!
372
00:17:50,042 --> 00:17:51,480
That was kind of uncalled for.
373
00:17:51,480 --> 00:17:52,963
No, it was called for.
374
00:17:54,364 --> 00:17:55,914
What's going on?
375
00:17:55,916 --> 00:17:56,915
All right, Sheldon,
376
00:17:56,917 --> 00:17:58,417
this craziness
has gone on long enough.
377
00:17:58,419 --> 00:18:00,702
Please come home
so I can cut your hair.
378
00:18:00,704 --> 00:18:03,038
Penny, you're not trained.
379
00:18:03,040 --> 00:18:04,539
You're not licensed.
380
00:18:04,541 --> 00:18:08,510
Most importantly, you don't have
access to my haircut records.
381
00:18:11,347 --> 00:18:13,332
All right, honey, look,
382
00:18:13,334 --> 00:18:15,684
we've known each other
for a long time now, right?
383
00:18:15,686 --> 00:18:18,086
I've taken you to Disneyland,
384
00:18:18,088 --> 00:18:20,222
I kicked a bully
in the nuts for you,
385
00:18:20,224 --> 00:18:22,224
I sing you "Soft Kitty"
386
00:18:22,226 --> 00:18:24,226
when you're sick,
387
00:18:24,228 --> 00:18:25,811
you've even saw me naked once.
388
00:18:25,813 --> 00:18:28,964
I'm sorry,
what?
389
00:18:28,966 --> 00:18:30,932
It was a long story.
390
00:18:30,934 --> 00:18:33,268
Anyway, Sheldon, I promise
I know what I'm doing.
391
00:18:33,270 --> 00:18:34,820
Please let me cut your hair.
392
00:18:34,822 --> 00:18:37,823
Amy, what do you think?
393
00:18:37,825 --> 00:18:41,609
There's not a hair on my body
I wouldn't let this woman trim.
394
00:18:50,002 --> 00:18:52,137
Fine, let's go.
395
00:18:55,591 --> 00:18:57,509
Thank you for letting me
sleep on your couch.
396
00:18:57,511 --> 00:18:59,294
There's only so many times
a woman can say,
397
00:18:59,296 --> 00:19:00,645
"How about the bed?"
398
00:19:03,933 --> 00:19:06,468
What's this
about Sheldon seeing you naked?
399
00:19:06,470 --> 00:19:10,322
Oh, relax. It was just
her bottom and her breasts.
400
00:19:17,968 --> 00:19:19,483
Almost done.
401
00:19:20,326 --> 00:19:21,746
At the end of the haircut,
402
00:19:21,910 --> 00:19:25,278
Mr. D'Onofrio
would tell me a dirty joke.
403
00:19:25,280 --> 00:19:28,882
Sorry, I don't know
any dirty jokes.
404
00:19:28,884 --> 00:19:32,235
That's okay,
I never understood them anyway.
405
00:19:34,171 --> 00:19:36,339
Okay, what do you think?
406
00:19:38,392 --> 00:19:40,977
Hm, well,
407
00:19:40,979 --> 00:19:43,913
it's a little Hollywood.
408
00:19:45,015 --> 00:19:47,250
But I think
I can pull it off.
409
00:19:47,252 --> 00:19:48,585
Well done, Penny.
410
00:19:48,587 --> 00:19:49,802
Ha, told you.
411
00:19:49,804 --> 00:19:51,654
Okay, I'm just gonna clean up
your neck a little
412
00:19:51,656 --> 00:19:54,741
and then you are good to go.
Fun time.
413
00:19:55,827 --> 00:19:58,506
Sorry, sometimes the clippers
tickle me.
414
00:19:58,574 --> 00:20:00,107
Okay.
415
00:20:07,521 --> 00:20:09,839
Okay, yep, we're all done now.
416
00:20:09,841 --> 00:20:10,823
It's just... it's good.
417
00:20:10,825 --> 00:20:13,376
Let me just take that
away from you.
418
00:20:13,378 --> 00:20:15,044
- Okay.
- Thank you very much.
419
00:20:15,046 --> 00:20:17,213
You are welcome.
420
00:20:25,960 --> 00:20:27,757
Yeah, I'm gonna have to move.
421
00:20:28,087 --> 00:20:32,087
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther