1
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Gossip Girl here--

2
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your one and only source

3
00:00:03,792 --> 00:00:06,283
into the scandalous lives
of Manhattan's elite.

4
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You shouldn't have sent that
video in to "Gossip Girl."

5
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I didn't do it.

6
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If you didn't do it and I didn't,

7
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then who did?

8
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Of course I love you, Chuck.
I've always loved you.

9
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Humphrey, you bastard.

10
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You and your family will quite
literally pay the consequences.

11
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Or did you forget about the dowry?

12
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If she defaults on the marriage,
the dowry can be reinstated.

13
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You do not have to go with them.

14
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It's just a year.
It's not that long, right?

15
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This is Estee, A.K.A., my royal minder,

16
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but I've just been calling
her "Creeper" for short.

17
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I do have feelings for Dan. I'm sorry.

18
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This isn't gonna be easy for me,

19
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but at least you're being honest.

20
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I don't want to get in
the way of you and Dan.

21
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I think we need to get her to the hospital.

22
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Please stay with me.

23
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You're the only person I feel safe with.

24
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I won't leave you. I promise.

25
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Oh! Mother?

26
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Charlie, what are you doing here?

27
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She's been with Ms. Rhodes for months.

28
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She's been such a solace to her.

29
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Mom?

30
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Why did you introduce this
girl as your daughter?

31
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Who is she?
Ivy Dickens.

32
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Your mom hired me to be you.

33
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You hid an entire family from me for money?

34
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I don't really wanna be alone.
Can I stay with you?

35
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There's nothing we can do.

36
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You need to go in and say your good-byes.

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Sync by YYeTs.net
Corrected by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com

38
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They say we should carry
our secrets to the grave.

39
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But on the Upper East Side,

40
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secrets are the one thing
you can never bury.

41
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Even when we think we know
everything about the ones we love,

44
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Mrs. Humphrey, in my business,
there's rarely advance warning.

45
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Oh, of course. I just wanted to make sure

46
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all of mother's funeral
arrangements were perfect.

47
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She was very particular,
liked things a certain way.

48
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Um, would it be possible

49
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for us to work with our own florist?

50
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Oh. I'm... sorry.

51
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I thought you knew.

52
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Your mother provided very
detailed instructions.

53
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In fact, if you return
home right about now,

54
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I think you'll discover the
wake is already underway.

55
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Well, I can hear my mother
laughing from beyond the grave.

56
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I'm sure she just didn't want to bother you

57
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with making all the arrangements.

58
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Or she just didn't trust your taste level.

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Oh.

60
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I'm the other daughter, Carol.

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Crashing as usual.

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Well, since you're here,
you might want to know

63
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that it seems mother took care
of everything in advance.

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I'd tell you to invite your daughter--

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the real one, not the fake one--

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but she's not speaking to you.

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Well, if you'll excuse me, I
apparently have a wake to host.

68
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Aren't you gonna be late for work?

69
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Or you pulling a "Vanilla Sky"

70
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and hiding your hideous disfigurement

71
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from your global publishing empire?

72
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What? I thought you found my
lacrosse injury sexy. No?

73
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Besides, I figured we could
spend the day together

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and catch up.

75
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Uh-oh. No. No.

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Don't give me that "Let's talk
about our feelings" face.

77
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What? This is normal face. Okay?

78
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No, I'm worried about you.
In the past 72 hours,

79
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you found out that you have
this entire secret family.

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Yeah, and my mom hired an
actress I know to play me.

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I'm aware.

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Then why haven't you said a word about it?

83
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I may not have known about
the Van Der Woodsens

84
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for the last 19 years, but
they sure knew about me.

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And they didn't care,

86
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so that pretty much tells me
everything I need to know

87
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about your fancy friends
from the Upper East Side.

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Now buy a girl some breakfast?

89
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All right. Two minutes.

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Get dressed. I'll make coffee.

91
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Hey. How you holding up?

92
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Well, the past few days have
been tough on everyone.

93
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But I-I have a question. Are you with Lola?

94
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She hasn't been answering
any of my calls or texts.

95
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Ahh. Yeah. She's...

96
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Not really that interested
in being a Rhodes right now.

97
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Well, trust me, I know what it's like

98
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to want distance from your
family more than anyone.

99
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But I thought maybe with Cece's
death, she'd make an exception.

100
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Well, I'm not so sure.

101
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The entire Van Der Woodsen
clan on a good day

102
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can be pretty overwhelming.

103
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Well, I have an idea. Maybe...
you know, maybe she can

104
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just dip her toes in the
water with just me?

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I'm at my mom's right now.
No one else is here.

106
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They'll be at the funeral home for a while.

107
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Maybe the three of us can meet up.

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I mean, I'll ask her.
I just can't promise you anything.

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Thank you, Nate.

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Coffee?

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Top drawer.

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It relaxes me to watch Anita Dust.

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I did not need to know that.

114
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What's got you in such a good mood?

115
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I recently found out

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who actually sent "Gossip Girl"

117
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the now-infamous video of me and Blair

118
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at the royal wedding-- that hump, Humphrey.

119
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What, Dan?

120
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He was only too happy to let
Serena and me take the fall

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so he could worm his way
into Blair's broken heart.

122
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Unfortunately for him, when
she finds out the truth,

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his chances with her will be destroyed,

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and she will be mine again.

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I don't know, Chuck. Are you sure

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you want to start World
War Waldorf right now?

127
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Why wouldn't I?

128
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'Cause you and I both know

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that nothing can actually
happen between Dan and Blair

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for at least a year.

131
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So... a lot can change in 12 months.

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Take the high road.

133
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Grab your coat. I'm kidnapping you

134
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and taking you to a bona
fide Humphrey brunch.

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Psst!

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Ah. Bien sur. Merci. Nous parlerons demain.

137
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So for those of us who took Italian,

138
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what was that all about?

139
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That was Cyrus and another
attorney at his firm.

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They think they may have found
a loophole in my prenup.

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Are you serious?

142
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Yes. Apparently, since
we signed it in Monaco

143
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but got married in the U.S.--

144
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You can contest it.

145
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Oh, we can try.

146
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Cyrus thinks the Grimaldis
may have to grant me

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an amicable annulment,

148
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meaning that they'd waive my dowry...

149
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And you wouldn't have
to wait the year for...

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Anything.

151
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When will Cyrus know for sure?

152
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Well, he's supposed to talk

153
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to the Grimaldis' royal
attorney in an hour,

154
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so rain check on that waffle?
I should wait here...

155
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Hopefully for the last time.

156
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No.

157
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Delete. Delete.

158
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What are you doing?

159
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Trying to help.

160
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No, you're not.

161
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If you were, you wouldn't let me
slave in front of this computer

162
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all day as Gossip Girl.

163
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Well, I thought you said
knowing everyone's secrets

164
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as Gossip Girl was your dream come true.

165
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It was, until I realized
how much work it is.

166
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I mean, look at me.
I'm exhausted and aggravated.

167
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I have no social life to speak of.

168
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I feel like a stay-at-home mom.

169
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Oh, honey, don't say that.

170
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It's true. I mean, all my
life I've been the one

171
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that they write stories
about, and now I'm just

172
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another anonymous shut-in with
an online shopping addiction.

173
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Tell me, what can I do?

174
00:07:15,544 --> 00:07:16,714
Well...

175
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Since you asked, Georgina
Sparks needs a recharge,

176
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so I've decided to take
a mental health day,

177
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and I've found the perfect event to crash--

178
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Cece Rhodes' secret wake.

179
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What about "Gossip Girl"?
The site can't go down all day.

180
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It won't.

181
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That's why I'm leaving you in charge.

182
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Don't worry. It's not rocket science.

183
00:07:36,853 --> 00:07:38,753
You just take the tips that people send in

184
00:07:38,754 --> 00:07:40,812
and post them if they're worthy.

185
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Are you sure this is such a good idea?

186
00:07:43,735 --> 00:07:46,347
Aw, what's a Van Der Woodsen family event

187
00:07:46,348 --> 00:07:47,931
if I'm not there to ruin it?

188
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Besides, I already promised a new friend

189
00:07:50,042 --> 00:07:51,541
I'd be her plus one.

190
00:07:52,119 --> 00:07:54,280
Thank you for coming with me.

191
00:07:54,536 --> 00:07:57,027
I know I was invited, but, uh,

192
00:07:57,028 --> 00:07:59,510
I don't think I could face them all alone.

193
00:07:59,511 --> 00:08:02,409
I understand.
When everybody at a party hates you,

194
00:08:02,410 --> 00:08:04,955
who better to bring than
someone they hate even more?

195
00:08:11,765 --> 00:08:12,754
What are you doing down here?

196
00:08:12,755 --> 00:08:14,443
I thought there was a family
breakfast this morning.

197
00:08:14,444 --> 00:08:16,952
Oh, there's a lot more than
that going on upstairs.

198
00:08:16,953 --> 00:08:18,215
I just came down to warn my mom.

199
00:08:18,216 --> 00:08:19,491
You'll see for yourself.

200
00:08:19,492 --> 00:08:21,199
Is Blair's houseboy up there?

201
00:08:21,200 --> 00:08:22,413
You mean Dan?

202
00:08:22,414 --> 00:08:23,309
Is that why you came by--

203
00:08:23,310 --> 00:08:26,028
to get intel on him and Blair,
torture him a little?

204
00:08:26,029 --> 00:08:27,381
Maybe just a little.

205
00:08:27,382 --> 00:08:29,796
Well, he's not here. At least, not yet.

206
00:08:29,797 --> 00:08:32,066
But, um, here's some intel for you.

207
00:08:32,067 --> 00:08:33,114
Blair just texted me

208
00:08:33,115 --> 00:08:35,506
that Cyrus may have found
a loophole in her prenup,

209
00:08:35,507 --> 00:08:38,089
so she may be released sooner
than any of us thought.

210
00:08:40,273 --> 00:08:42,298
And right into Dan's waiting arms.

211
00:08:42,299 --> 00:08:43,872
If you'll excuse me.

212
00:08:51,773 --> 00:08:53,403
So what do you wanna do for breakfast?

213
00:08:53,404 --> 00:08:55,301
Oh, I was thinking
Untitled at the Whitney--

214
00:08:55,302 --> 00:08:56,773
Danny Meyer's new place?

215
00:08:56,774 --> 00:08:58,981
Oh, you're trying to score
a cool point, aren't you?

216
00:08:58,982 --> 00:09:00,955
And since we'll be on Madison anyway...

217
00:09:00,956 --> 00:09:02,466
Oh, here it comes.

218
00:09:02,467 --> 00:09:04,792
Well, we'll be walking
right by Serena's mom's,

219
00:09:04,793 --> 00:09:07,321
which Serena will be at
by herself, I might add.

220
00:09:07,322 --> 00:09:09,700
Nate, what part of wanting nothing to do

221
00:09:09,701 --> 00:09:11,634
with the Van Der Woodsens
don't you understand?

222
00:09:11,635 --> 00:09:13,252
Look, I know how you feel about them,

223
00:09:13,253 --> 00:09:14,753
but not everything from the Upper East Side

224
00:09:14,754 --> 00:09:16,270
is automatically bad.

225
00:09:16,271 --> 00:09:18,047
Okay. Name one thing that isn't.

226
00:09:18,048 --> 00:09:19,565
Me. Come on.

227
00:09:19,566 --> 00:09:21,900
Serena's one of my best friends, okay?

228
00:09:21,901 --> 00:09:23,967
You haven't even given her one shot.
What's the harm?

229
00:09:25,194 --> 00:09:27,228
All right, but if we stop by,

230
00:09:27,229 --> 00:09:28,014
you have to promise me

231
00:09:28,015 --> 00:09:30,072
that you're never gonna play
me like this again, okay?

232
00:09:30,073 --> 00:09:31,287
I promise.

233
00:09:36,245 --> 00:09:39,620
Mom, you knew grandma always did
like to do things her own way.

234
00:09:39,621 --> 00:09:42,221
I know. I'm just not entirely
sure I'm in the mood

235
00:09:42,222 --> 00:09:44,484
for the "Mayflower"
mausoleum in mother's honor

236
00:09:44,485 --> 00:09:46,589
that obviously awaits us upstairs.

237
00:09:52,314 --> 00:09:53,538
Oh, my God.

238
00:10:00,564 --> 00:10:02,463
It was all here when I got home.

239
00:10:03,507 --> 00:10:05,521
There's whiskey and stew...

240
00:10:05,522 --> 00:10:06,960
And mother.

241
00:10:07,239 --> 00:10:08,719
And those are our mourners' chairs

242
00:10:08,720 --> 00:10:12,739
where we will sit and mourn
because this is an Irish wake.

243
00:10:12,740 --> 00:10:16,325
Looks like this wake might end
up being the wake-up call

244
00:10:16,326 --> 00:10:18,550
you so desperately need.

245
00:10:27,133 --> 00:10:28,485
Copy...

246
00:10:32,715 --> 00:10:33,933
Paste...

247
00:10:37,751 --> 00:10:38,480
Post.

248
00:10:47,055 --> 00:10:47,716
Oh, no.

249
00:10:52,548 --> 00:10:53,562
Oh, crap.

250
00:11:02,266 --> 00:11:04,744
I just can't believe that
this was mother's idea.

251
00:11:04,745 --> 00:11:07,637
And who are these people?
I don't recognize a soul.

252
00:11:07,638 --> 00:11:10,029
Well, I guess Cece wanted
us to celebrate her life

253
00:11:10,030 --> 00:11:11,781
and not mourn her death,
so she didn't invite

254
00:11:11,782 --> 00:11:13,998
any of her stodgy socialites, just the...

255
00:11:13,999 --> 00:11:15,217
the help.

256
00:11:15,482 --> 00:11:18,202
That--that--that was her
butcher from East Hampton,

257
00:11:18,203 --> 00:11:19,538
and her driver.

258
00:11:19,539 --> 00:11:21,130
And the fireman that saved her life

259
00:11:21,131 --> 00:11:22,776
the night she left the candle burning.

260
00:11:23,165 --> 00:11:24,168
Hi.

261
00:11:25,674 --> 00:11:27,828
You. What are you doing here?

262
00:11:27,829 --> 00:11:30,351
I was invited by your mother herself.

263
00:11:30,562 --> 00:11:32,009
I promised her I'd come.

264
00:11:32,387 --> 00:11:35,503
I just came to pay my respects.
I won't bother anybody.

265
00:11:36,761 --> 00:11:38,655
This is all Carol's fault.

266
00:11:38,845 --> 00:11:40,908
Yeah, I'm sure she's hiding here somewhere.

267
00:11:41,448 --> 00:11:43,637
You can't let Carol get to you like this.

268
00:11:44,157 --> 00:11:46,333
The executor of the estate
is supposed to be coming,

269
00:11:46,334 --> 00:11:47,316
whoever that is.

270
00:11:47,317 --> 00:11:49,315
My money is on Elias the gardener.

271
00:11:49,316 --> 00:11:51,172
And I'm sure everything will be explained

272
00:11:51,173 --> 00:11:52,637
once they read the will.

273
00:11:52,638 --> 00:11:54,902
Well, whoever it is, they'd
better get here soon,

274
00:11:54,903 --> 00:11:57,087
because I'm not responsible
for what I might do.

275
00:12:03,698 --> 00:12:05,144
So Serena's here alone, huh?

276
00:12:05,145 --> 00:12:07,695
I swear I had no idea what
we were walking into.

277
00:12:07,696 --> 00:12:09,467
So this is an epic fail.

278
00:12:09,468 --> 00:12:11,114
Yeah, let's just go,
before someone sees us.

279
00:12:11,115 --> 00:12:14,265
Lola. May I have a word?

280
00:12:17,364 --> 00:12:19,731
Of course this is happening.
What is it, mother?

281
00:12:19,732 --> 00:12:22,825
Do you mind telling me
what you're doing here?

282
00:12:22,826 --> 00:12:24,191
Oh, yeah, well, let's see.

283
00:12:24,192 --> 00:12:27,603
Um, this morning, while I was
in the shower at Nate's,

284
00:12:27,604 --> 00:12:30,103
Serena, the cousin I just found out about,

285
00:12:30,104 --> 00:12:32,203
tricked me into coming to
the wake of the grandmother

286
00:12:32,204 --> 00:12:34,344
that I never knew existed
at the house of the family

287
00:12:34,345 --> 00:12:36,228
that you hid from me for my entire life.

288
00:12:36,229 --> 00:12:37,736
Does that sum it up for you enough?

289
00:12:37,737 --> 00:12:39,399
I know you blame me for everything,

290
00:12:39,400 --> 00:12:41,466
but I only lied to you because

291
00:12:41,467 --> 00:12:43,384
we're not safe around these people.

292
00:12:43,385 --> 00:12:45,182
They're materialistic monsters.

293
00:12:45,183 --> 00:12:47,611
Oh, says the woman who looted
her own daughter's trust fund.

294
00:12:47,612 --> 00:12:49,004
That money was for you.

295
00:12:49,005 --> 00:12:51,442
You cannot believe a word these people say.

296
00:12:51,687 --> 00:12:54,251
Mom, the only person here
who's ever lied to me is you.

297
00:12:55,881 --> 00:12:58,639
Hey. I know this place is crazy,
but I'm really glad you came.

298
00:12:59,743 --> 00:13:01,022
I was just about to call you.

299
00:13:01,023 --> 00:13:02,842
I know. I screwed up.

300
00:13:02,843 --> 00:13:04,905
Yes, you did. Who knows if anyone

301
00:13:04,906 --> 00:13:06,541
will send in another tip ever?

302
00:13:06,542 --> 00:13:08,884
Luckily for you, I'm in
the eye of the hurricane.

303
00:13:08,885 --> 00:13:10,895
So I can watch your mess play out,

304
00:13:10,896 --> 00:13:13,680
and if this is my last day as
Gossip Girl thanks to you,

305
00:13:13,681 --> 00:13:15,261
I'm going out with a bang.

306
00:13:16,578 --> 00:13:19,742
Dan, I'm so sorry for your loss.

307
00:13:20,214 --> 00:13:21,575
Hey, Dennis.

308
00:13:22,702 --> 00:13:24,150
Georgina, I would ask you
what you're doing here

309
00:13:24,151 --> 00:13:26,037
if I cared, which I don't, so...

310
00:13:26,392 --> 00:13:27,823
I was just wondering if you had the chance

311
00:13:27,824 --> 00:13:29,478
to check "Gossip Girl" recently.

312
00:13:29,479 --> 00:13:31,082
No. Why?

313
00:13:31,083 --> 00:13:33,067
I know I promised I'd never publicly reveal

314
00:13:33,068 --> 00:13:34,315
that little video secret of yours,

315
00:13:34,316 --> 00:13:35,937
but unfortunately, I left Philip in charge.

316
00:13:35,938 --> 00:13:38,018
So... lesson learned. Okay. Bye.

317
00:13:41,156 --> 00:13:43,829
Oh, "G.G.--It's time you told everyone

318
00:13:43,830 --> 00:13:47,309
Dan Humphrey sent in that video
on Blair's wedding day."

319
00:13:47,310 --> 00:13:50,749
Philip is rich, not bright.
I'm sorry, but keep reading.

320
00:13:50,750 --> 00:13:53,350
Oh, my God.
This was-- this was sent in by...

321
00:13:53,622 --> 00:13:54,841
How dare you?

322
00:13:54,842 --> 00:13:57,619
Of all your many, many
attempts at sabotage,

323
00:13:57,620 --> 00:13:59,447
this is by far the most pathetic.

324
00:13:59,448 --> 00:14:02,247
Are you so worried that I'll
find happiness without you

325
00:14:02,248 --> 00:14:04,494
that you feel the need
to spread baseless lies

326
00:14:04,495 --> 00:14:06,276
at the wake of my best
friend's grandmother?

327
00:14:06,277 --> 00:14:08,053
While you may be correct about my motives,

328
00:14:08,054 --> 00:14:09,797
the blast is anything but a lie.

329
00:14:10,249 --> 00:14:12,140
You know Serena and I
didn't send the video,

330
00:14:12,141 --> 00:14:14,442
and it certainly wasn't
Louis, so who's left?

331
00:14:14,443 --> 00:14:16,182
I'm not playing this game.

332
00:14:16,642 --> 00:14:18,652
Why don't you tell that to
your boyfriend over there?

333
00:14:18,653 --> 00:14:20,255
Or even better, ask him the truth.

334
00:14:39,310 --> 00:14:40,491
Blair, please wait.

335
00:14:40,586 --> 00:14:41,560
I have nothing to say to you.

336
00:14:41,561 --> 00:14:42,937
I am so sorry I lied.

337
00:14:42,938 --> 00:14:44,603
You didn't just lie, Humphrey.

338
00:14:44,604 --> 00:14:46,213
You let me blame my best friend and my ex

339
00:14:46,214 --> 00:14:47,534
for something they didn't do.

340
00:14:47,535 --> 00:14:50,184
You embarrassed me in front of
400 guests at my own wedding.

341
00:14:50,185 --> 00:14:52,695
You made me the target of
tabloids and T.S.A. agents,

342
00:14:52,696 --> 00:14:55,270
not to mention, you helped lock
the bars of my gilded cage.

343
00:14:55,271 --> 00:14:56,421
Am I forgetting anything?

344
00:14:56,422 --> 00:14:57,689
I should have told you
the truth right away,

345
00:14:57,690 --> 00:14:59,748
but I swear, I never meant to hurt you.

346
00:14:59,749 --> 00:15:01,923
Then what other reason could you
have had to send in that video?

347
00:15:01,924 --> 00:15:04,057
I spent every day leading up to the wedding

348
00:15:04,058 --> 00:15:05,847
listening to you say you had to marry Louis

349
00:15:05,848 --> 00:15:07,172
even though you didn't love him.

350
00:15:07,173 --> 00:15:09,160
I couldn't stand to see you so unhappy.

351
00:15:09,739 --> 00:15:11,300
I only thought it would stop the wedding.

352
00:15:11,301 --> 00:15:13,282
I never thought you would leave it with me.

353
00:15:13,283 --> 00:15:15,758
And us fighting like this is exactly what

354
00:15:15,759 --> 00:15:17,232
that Bass-face wanted.

355
00:15:17,233 --> 00:15:19,331
But since Cyrus thinks
everything will work out

356
00:15:19,332 --> 00:15:20,179
with the annulment...

357
00:15:20,180 --> 00:15:21,552
What can I do? Is there anything?

358
00:15:21,553 --> 00:15:22,576
Just say the word, and I will--

359
00:15:22,577 --> 00:15:24,615
Just shut up, Humphrey.

360
00:15:25,210 --> 00:15:27,200
I forgive you... for now.

361
00:15:28,840 --> 00:15:29,965
Estee?

362
00:15:30,572 --> 00:15:32,905
Did you follow me?
I thought we weren't meeting till 4:00.

363
00:15:32,906 --> 00:15:35,513
Yes, after Cyrus tried to
trick the royal attorney

364
00:15:35,514 --> 00:15:36,991
into voiding your prenup.

365
00:15:37,628 --> 00:15:38,748
I know everything.

366
00:15:39,471 --> 00:15:41,486
Uh... follow me.

367
00:15:45,115 --> 00:15:47,398
Looks like Blair's annulment
just got annulled.

368
00:15:47,399 --> 00:15:49,913
Shame. You were so close, too.

369
00:15:51,763 --> 00:15:52,593
Let me assure you,

370
00:15:52,594 --> 00:15:54,672
your stepfather's plan will never work.

371
00:15:54,673 --> 00:15:56,377
You slimy little limey.

372
00:15:56,378 --> 00:15:57,669
I do not respond well to threats,

373
00:15:57,670 --> 00:15:58,877
and neither does Cyrus Rose.

374
00:15:58,878 --> 00:15:59,832
He fought in 'Nam.

375
00:15:59,833 --> 00:16:00,882
You didn't let me finish.

376
00:16:00,883 --> 00:16:03,784
His plan might not work, but mine can.

377
00:16:03,785 --> 00:16:05,203
We can help each other, you and I.

378
00:16:05,204 --> 00:16:06,203
Go on.

379
00:16:06,204 --> 00:16:08,990
You don't want Louis.
That's clear. But I do.

380
00:16:09,508 --> 00:16:11,639
The prince and I... we're very close.

381
00:16:11,640 --> 00:16:13,218
We grew up together, but my station

382
00:16:13,219 --> 00:16:15,130
always prevented me from
being a suitable choice

383
00:16:15,131 --> 00:16:16,855
for Her Serene Highness, at least--

384
00:16:16,856 --> 00:16:18,078
Until I came along.

385
00:16:18,079 --> 00:16:18,846
Precisely.

386
00:16:18,847 --> 00:16:20,584
You're a public relations disaster.

387
00:16:20,585 --> 00:16:22,215
Next to your Sarah Ferguson's swan dive,

388
00:16:22,216 --> 00:16:23,524
I'm Kate bloody Middleton.

389
00:16:23,525 --> 00:16:25,813
So you think the Grimaldis will welcome

390
00:16:25,814 --> 00:16:27,748
Louis' loyal-and-loving social secretary

391
00:16:27,749 --> 00:16:28,642
as a replacement?

392
00:16:28,643 --> 00:16:29,882
I know Louis would.

393
00:16:30,973 --> 00:16:32,055
Sorry.

394
00:16:32,501 --> 00:16:36,405
No, no, it's fine.
Oddly enough, I just want him to be happy.

395
00:16:36,406 --> 00:16:38,039
Then this is worth a shot, isn't it?

396
00:16:38,040 --> 00:16:39,259
You have nothing to lose.

397
00:16:41,322 --> 00:16:42,347
Make the call.

398
00:16:42,348 --> 00:16:44,356
So that's the tour.
Thank you for coming by,

399
00:16:44,357 --> 00:16:45,999
or at least letting me
trick you into coming by.

400
00:16:46,000 --> 00:16:47,799
I assure you, Nate had no idea.

401
00:16:47,800 --> 00:16:50,085
Well, actually, he said we
were going to a museum,

402
00:16:50,086 --> 00:16:51,757
so he wasn't that far off.

403
00:16:52,200 --> 00:16:53,819
Look, I know what your mom thinks about us,

404
00:16:53,820 --> 00:16:55,022
you know, how all we care about is money--

405
00:16:55,023 --> 00:16:56,106
and the things you can buy.

406
00:16:56,107 --> 00:16:57,682
But that couldn't be
further from the truth.

407
00:16:57,683 --> 00:16:59,539
Family is what's most important to us,

408
00:16:59,540 --> 00:17:00,958
and to prove that to you, I have two people

409
00:17:00,959 --> 00:17:02,695
who are gonna be so excited to see you.

410
00:17:03,014 --> 00:17:05,474
- Mom--
- You told me mother sold the Limoges,

411
00:17:05,475 --> 00:17:06,910
and don't think I didn't notice

412
00:17:06,911 --> 00:17:09,272
her Georg Jensen service here, either.

413
00:17:09,273 --> 00:17:12,429
Tell Laryssa to count
the silver right away.

414
00:17:17,177 --> 00:17:19,067
I really appreciate everything
you're trying to do,

415
00:17:19,068 --> 00:17:21,454
but, um... I'm just not part of this world,

416
00:17:21,455 --> 00:17:23,303
and I don't really think
I wanna be, either,

417
00:17:23,304 --> 00:17:25,432
so just tell Nate I had to go.

418
00:17:28,115 --> 00:17:29,335
Oh, Lola.

419
00:17:29,877 --> 00:17:31,669
I wasn't expecting to see you here.

420
00:17:31,670 --> 00:17:32,675
Why?

421
00:17:32,676 --> 00:17:33,773
Even if I don't wanna be here,

422
00:17:33,774 --> 00:17:35,233
I have more of a reason than you do.

423
00:17:35,927 --> 00:17:37,239
Look, I know this sounds ridiculous,

424
00:17:37,240 --> 00:17:39,312
but the Van Der Woodsens are
the closest thing I have

425
00:17:39,313 --> 00:17:40,833
to an actual family.

426
00:17:41,400 --> 00:17:42,547
Even though they hate me.

427
00:17:42,548 --> 00:17:44,197
Yeah, I have the opposite problem.

428
00:17:45,081 --> 00:17:46,972
Maybe my mother really was
trying to protect me.

429
00:17:46,973 --> 00:17:49,523
By stealing all your money?

430
00:17:49,931 --> 00:17:50,963
Ladies...

431
00:17:51,754 --> 00:17:54,268
On the Upper East Side, money
is never the real story.

432
00:17:54,269 --> 00:17:55,936
It's usually just the
"X" that marks the spot

433
00:17:55,937 --> 00:17:57,107
for what's buried beneath it.

434
00:17:57,108 --> 00:17:58,965
If I were you two, I'd start digging.

435
00:17:59,395 --> 00:18:00,405
What do you mean?

436
00:18:01,419 --> 00:18:03,405
I know it's hard for you,
but stop and think.

437
00:18:03,406 --> 00:18:04,465
Money doesn't explain

438
00:18:04,466 --> 00:18:06,531
why you hide your daughter for 18 years,

439
00:18:06,532 --> 00:18:07,789
unless she was being paid to do so,

440
00:18:07,790 --> 00:18:09,232
and judging by her hair and her clothes,

441
00:18:09,233 --> 00:18:10,715
I'd say that isn't so.

442
00:18:10,716 --> 00:18:12,190
You think there's something else going on?

443
00:18:12,907 --> 00:18:13,789
How do I find out?

444
00:18:13,790 --> 00:18:15,852
Well, nobody here is going to tell you.

445
00:18:15,853 --> 00:18:18,284
You have to find someone from the outside,

446
00:18:18,704 --> 00:18:20,406
somebody who isn't afraid of them.

447
00:18:20,407 --> 00:18:22,283
Somebody like...

448
00:18:24,382 --> 00:18:25,645
Dad.

449
00:18:26,548 --> 00:18:28,936
Looks like there's a doctor in the house

450
00:18:28,937 --> 00:18:32,033
who's about to get a taste
of his own medicine.

451
00:18:40,632 --> 00:18:41,936
I'm so happy you're here.

452
00:18:41,937 --> 00:18:43,510
It would have meant so much to grandma.

453
00:18:43,511 --> 00:18:45,021
I wouldn't miss this for the world.

454
00:18:45,858 --> 00:18:48,169
I'm just sorry that Eric couldn't
make it back from Zaire.

455
00:18:48,170 --> 00:18:51,220
I think they call that the
Democratic Republic of Congo now.

456
00:18:51,221 --> 00:18:53,629
They do, but trust me, it's not.

457
00:18:54,794 --> 00:18:57,169
Charlie, good to see you again.

458
00:18:57,170 --> 00:18:59,473
Oh, you're a little late
to the party, doctor.

459
00:18:59,474 --> 00:19:01,556
That isn't your niece, but this is.

460
00:19:02,023 --> 00:19:02,929
Sorry?

461
00:19:02,930 --> 00:19:04,731
What are you even doing here?

462
00:19:04,732 --> 00:19:07,088
Come on. Let's go say hi to mom.

463
00:19:07,794 --> 00:19:10,865
Daddy V-D-Dubs has known the
Rhodes sisters since high school.

464
00:19:11,168 --> 00:19:13,376
I bet he has a secret or two
he'd be willing to share

465
00:19:13,377 --> 00:19:14,767
if you ask nicely.

466
00:19:15,592 --> 00:19:18,469
Hey, Serena said you left,
but here you are with Ivy.

467
00:19:18,947 --> 00:19:20,025
Hi, Nate.

468
00:19:20,026 --> 00:19:22,195
I don't know why you're here,
but we should probably leave

469
00:19:22,196 --> 00:19:23,053
since Lola and I were just walking out--

470
00:19:23,054 --> 00:19:25,701
No, I'm gonna stay, and so is she.

471
00:19:25,702 --> 00:19:27,245
We're gonna get to the bottom of why my mom

472
00:19:27,246 --> 00:19:29,401
really kept me away all
these years, so, um,

473
00:19:29,819 --> 00:19:31,062
if you don't mind...

474
00:19:33,557 --> 00:19:34,501
Oui.

475
00:19:34,971 --> 00:19:35,866
Oui.

476
00:19:36,583 --> 00:19:37,726
Naturellement.

477
00:19:38,814 --> 00:19:39,566
Well?

478
00:19:39,567 --> 00:19:41,584
He agreed.
I need to be on the next plane back.

479
00:19:41,807 --> 00:19:43,430
I'm to be amongst the royal court tomorrow

480
00:19:43,431 --> 00:19:45,591
when the prince breaks the
news in a press conference

481
00:19:45,592 --> 00:19:48,237
about how it became clear you
were only ever after his title.

482
00:19:48,238 --> 00:19:49,333
But, uh--

483
00:19:50,552 --> 00:19:52,292
Okay. Okay. What else?

484
00:19:52,293 --> 00:19:53,832
Then the royal family's publicist

485
00:19:53,833 --> 00:19:55,002
will start to build me up,

486
00:19:55,003 --> 00:19:57,405
the woman who has watched
from the wings for decades.

487
00:19:57,406 --> 00:19:59,564
Okay, enough about you. More about me.

488
00:20:00,764 --> 00:20:02,234
Her serene highness and the prince

489
00:20:02,235 --> 00:20:03,715
are only willing to annul the marriage

490
00:20:03,716 --> 00:20:06,219
if you agree to a gag order on all matters

491
00:20:06,220 --> 00:20:07,282
regarding the dissolution.

492
00:20:07,283 --> 00:20:09,617
They can be the only ones
to speak about it publicly.

493
00:20:09,618 --> 00:20:10,757
Do you understand what that means?

494
00:20:10,758 --> 00:20:11,966
Well, I'll do whatever they say,

495
00:20:11,967 --> 00:20:13,700
as long as it gets me out of this marriage.

496
00:20:13,701 --> 00:20:15,550
A press blackout is a small price to pay

497
00:20:15,551 --> 00:20:16,485
to get my life back.

498
00:20:16,486 --> 00:20:18,108
That includes no more blind items

499
00:20:18,109 --> 00:20:20,217
on "Page Six" or posts on "Gossip Girl."

500
00:20:20,218 --> 00:20:22,534
Princess Sophie was very clear
if you don't adhere to the deal,

501
00:20:22,535 --> 00:20:23,618
they'll make you pay.

502
00:20:23,619 --> 00:20:25,179
Do whatever you want in your private life.

503
00:20:25,180 --> 00:20:26,592
Just keep it private.

504
00:20:26,951 --> 00:20:27,861
Good luck.

505
00:20:28,089 --> 00:20:30,129
I'm glad we can both get what we want.

506
00:20:30,130 --> 00:20:32,306
And please assure the
royals when you see them

507
00:20:32,307 --> 00:20:34,011
that they won't hear a peep from me.

508
00:20:40,350 --> 00:20:41,309
Beer me.

509
00:20:41,864 --> 00:20:43,764
Perhaps you'd prefer
something a little stronger.

510
00:20:43,765 --> 00:20:44,961
It's green.

511
00:20:44,962 --> 00:20:46,161
What are you so relaxed about?

512
00:20:46,162 --> 00:20:48,229
We both know that Gossip
Girl's latest hiccup

513
00:20:48,230 --> 00:20:50,014
makes you look even worse in Blair's eyes.

514
00:20:50,015 --> 00:20:53,239
Maybe today, but at least she knows

515
00:20:53,240 --> 00:20:55,930
Dan isn't the good guy he pretends to be.

516
00:20:55,931 --> 00:20:57,309
In time, that'll sink in.

517
00:20:57,857 --> 00:21:00,336
She's not getting out of this
royal mess anytime soon.

518
00:21:00,337 --> 00:21:01,989
Oh, but she just did.

519
00:21:01,990 --> 00:21:04,648
That royal minder lady
brokered the deal herself.

520
00:21:04,875 --> 00:21:06,735
Although the hint of a new scandal

521
00:21:06,736 --> 00:21:09,195
could probably derail it
if you act fast enough.

522
00:21:09,196 --> 00:21:11,678
Blair will come to her senses.

523
00:21:11,679 --> 00:21:13,061
What if she doesn't?

524
00:21:13,293 --> 00:21:14,768
What if you spend the rest of your days

525
00:21:14,769 --> 00:21:16,543
wondering why you didn't try and stop her

526
00:21:16,544 --> 00:21:17,988
from falling into the flannelled arms

527
00:21:17,989 --> 00:21:19,477
of that pretentious poseur?

528
00:21:19,868 --> 00:21:21,964
Anywho, something to think about.

529
00:21:23,824 --> 00:21:25,281
What do you have in mind?

530
00:21:27,469 --> 00:21:29,164
Remember when I showed you this?

531
00:21:33,310 --> 00:21:35,817
How can I trust Gossip Girl
wouldn't leave my fingerprints

532
00:21:35,818 --> 00:21:37,315
on another blast?

533
00:21:37,316 --> 00:21:39,856
You can't, which is why
we use her latest screwup

534
00:21:39,857 --> 00:21:42,582
to our advantage and leave
somebody else's instead.

535
00:21:42,805 --> 00:21:44,428
Oh, look. Dan's phone.

536
00:21:44,429 --> 00:21:47,115
It must have fallen out of
his coat and into my purse.

537
00:21:47,121 --> 00:21:49,172
I'm sorry, Carol, but I'm
gonna have to ask you

538
00:21:49,173 --> 00:21:50,820
to let me search your bag.

539
00:21:50,906 --> 00:21:52,080
Laryssa saw you pocket--

540
00:21:52,081 --> 00:21:54,572
Lily, this is beneath even you.

541
00:21:54,573 --> 00:21:56,734
I see some things never change--

542
00:21:56,928 --> 00:21:59,603
the maid accusing my ex
sister-in-law of stealing.

543
00:21:59,604 --> 00:22:01,364
William, what a lovely surprise.

544
00:22:01,404 --> 00:22:01,883
Hello, dear.

545
00:22:01,884 --> 00:22:03,443
Doesn't dad look great?

546
00:22:03,444 --> 00:22:04,630
And how are you, Carol?

547
00:22:04,631 --> 00:22:06,220
Under surveillance.

548
00:22:06,221 --> 00:22:08,631
Lily has been shadowing me all afternoon.

549
00:22:08,632 --> 00:22:10,315
That's because I knew you'd
try to steal something,

550
00:22:10,316 --> 00:22:11,384
and apparently you did.

551
00:22:11,385 --> 00:22:12,363
Do you see what I have to deal with,

552
00:22:12,364 --> 00:22:14,132
while my own mother lies right here?

553
00:22:14,133 --> 00:22:15,480
All right, Carol, I've had enough.

554
00:22:15,481 --> 00:22:17,390
I want you out of my apartment this minute.

555
00:22:17,391 --> 00:22:20,289
Technically, it's Cece's apartment.

556
00:22:20,421 --> 00:22:21,428
What are you talking about?

557
00:22:21,429 --> 00:22:22,783
This is our home.

558
00:22:22,784 --> 00:22:24,612
Only because your mother bought it for us.

559
00:22:24,613 --> 00:22:27,493
Remember? For tax purposes, of course.

560
00:22:28,352 --> 00:22:30,144
But now it's part of the estate.

561
00:22:30,284 --> 00:22:32,843
William, thank you again for coming.

562
00:22:32,844 --> 00:22:34,768
And I would appreciate it if
you would leave the settling

563
00:22:34,769 --> 00:22:37,679
of mother's affairs to the
executor of her estate.

564
00:22:38,063 --> 00:22:39,565
That's exactly what I'm doing.

565
00:22:39,732 --> 00:22:41,316
I am her executor.

566
00:22:42,856 --> 00:22:44,200
And I brought her will.

567
00:22:51,502 --> 00:22:53,570
Ladies, I know this must come as a shock,

568
00:22:53,571 --> 00:22:55,117
but as you well know, your mother and I

569
00:22:55,118 --> 00:22:57,052
had a long and enduring friendship.

570
00:22:57,053 --> 00:22:59,937
It's just, of all the
people for Cece to pick,

571
00:22:59,938 --> 00:23:01,337
I find it curious that she chooses

572
00:23:01,338 --> 00:23:03,497
the father of Lily's children.

573
00:23:03,498 --> 00:23:05,353
Well, she couldn't very well
have asked the father of yours.

574
00:23:05,354 --> 00:23:07,954
There aren't enough D.N.A.
tests in Dade County to find him.

575
00:23:07,955 --> 00:23:10,079
I think I'll let you two
blow off some steam.

576
00:23:10,080 --> 00:23:11,461
If you'll excuse me.

577
00:23:13,793 --> 00:23:16,338
Hi again. I'm Lola, Carol's daughter.

578
00:23:16,339 --> 00:23:17,266
The real one.

579
00:23:17,267 --> 00:23:18,549
What can I do for you?

580
00:23:18,550 --> 00:23:20,134
Well, I just recently found out

581
00:23:20,135 --> 00:23:21,317
that I'm a part of this family,

582
00:23:21,318 --> 00:23:23,525
and I was wondering why I
was never allowed to know.

583
00:23:23,526 --> 00:23:25,926
So I thought, you know,
you've known my mom longer

584
00:23:25,927 --> 00:23:27,674
than anyone aside from Lily--

585
00:23:27,675 --> 00:23:28,902
Excuse me.

586
00:23:28,903 --> 00:23:30,041
Mom, do you mind?

587
00:23:30,042 --> 00:23:32,178
Yes, actually, I do.

588
00:23:32,318 --> 00:23:33,521
You'll let me know when you need me,

589
00:23:33,522 --> 00:23:34,411
won't you, William?

590
00:23:39,895 --> 00:23:41,666
Miss Blair, I'm so sorry,

591
00:23:41,667 --> 00:23:43,074
but Ms. Estee jedi-mind-tricked me

592
00:23:43,075 --> 00:23:44,530
into telling her you at wake.

593
00:23:44,547 --> 00:23:45,399
Too many secrets lately.

594
00:23:45,400 --> 00:23:47,618
I-I feel like Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy.

595
00:23:47,619 --> 00:23:49,669
Oh, it's fine. I'm glad Estee found me.

596
00:23:49,670 --> 00:23:51,390
Everything's gonna work out perfectly now.

597
00:23:51,391 --> 00:23:53,206
That's not what Mr. Cyrus say.

598
00:23:53,207 --> 00:23:54,737
He's been trying to call you for last hour.

599
00:23:54,738 --> 00:23:55,849
Why you no answer phone?

600
00:23:55,850 --> 00:23:57,869
I put it on silent. I'm at a wake.

601
00:23:57,870 --> 00:23:59,599
And you can tell Cyrus he
doesn't need to worry.

602
00:23:59,600 --> 00:24:01,496
I took care of the annulment myself.

603
00:24:01,497 --> 00:24:04,907
Then why Grimaldis just call him
and ask for all the money now?

604
00:24:05,639 --> 00:24:07,646
Well, they agreed to waive the dowry

605
00:24:07,647 --> 00:24:09,695
as long as I completely
stayed out of the press.

606
00:24:10,150 --> 00:24:13,903
Maybe princess Sophie read
"Gossip Girl" again, then.

607
00:24:14,894 --> 00:24:17,486
"Please post A.S.A.P. Dan."

608
00:24:19,126 --> 00:24:21,152
"I, Celia Catherine Rhodes,

609
00:24:21,153 --> 00:24:22,708
of Montecito, California,

610
00:24:22,709 --> 00:24:24,426
"being of sound mind and body,

611
00:24:24,427 --> 00:24:27,754
"do hereby declare this to be
my last will and testament.

612
00:24:27,766 --> 00:24:31,326
"First, I leave my two
Andalusian thoroughbreds,

613
00:24:31,327 --> 00:24:34,367
"Rickey and Reggie Rhodes,
to the Valley Ranch stables.

614
00:24:34,426 --> 00:24:37,054
Second, I leave my Faberge
egg collection--"

615
00:24:37,055 --> 00:24:38,445
Hey, dad, wait a second.

616
00:24:38,446 --> 00:24:40,731
Sorry. I just--I don't
want her here for this.

617
00:24:43,826 --> 00:24:45,065
Is she bothering you?

618
00:24:45,066 --> 00:24:46,603
She's a con artist, William.

619
00:24:46,604 --> 00:24:48,106
And not a very good one.

620
00:24:48,486 --> 00:24:50,733
Nevertheless, your mother
invited her to be here,

621
00:24:50,734 --> 00:24:55,071
so... I would like everybody to
respect Cece's wishes, okay?

622
00:24:55,975 --> 00:24:57,067
Please.

623
00:24:58,127 --> 00:25:01,167
Now if there are no more interruptions...

624
00:25:02,557 --> 00:25:04,252
I think you dropped something.

625
00:25:05,771 --> 00:25:06,762
What...

626
00:25:09,701 --> 00:25:11,089
Are you insane? Blair's gonna think

627
00:25:11,090 --> 00:25:13,034
I actually sent this picture
in to "Gossip Girl."

628
00:25:13,050 --> 00:25:14,762
Duh. That was the point.

629
00:25:14,886 --> 00:25:17,434
We had a deal, Georgina.
You promised to protect me

630
00:25:17,435 --> 00:25:19,118
if I didn't tell anyone
you were Gossip Girl.

631
00:25:19,119 --> 00:25:21,743
Mm-hmm. I sold you out, so start talking.

632
00:25:22,219 --> 00:25:23,501
Look, I had fun being Gossip Girl,

633
00:25:23,502 --> 00:25:25,014
but I'm kind of over it.

634
00:25:25,015 --> 00:25:27,565
I'm just glad that the final
blast was my masterpiece.

635
00:25:27,566 --> 00:25:28,655
I'm sorry if it ruins your life.

636
00:25:28,656 --> 00:25:31,422
It's not just mine.
It's Blair's, the Waldorfs'.

637
00:25:31,423 --> 00:25:33,554
Oh. I know. What a mess.

638
00:25:33,555 --> 00:25:36,195
It's like I just took down
the entire Upper East Side.

639
00:25:37,756 --> 00:25:40,161
Oh. Here comes the bull's-eye.

640
00:25:40,162 --> 00:25:42,709
You Brooklyn Benedict Arnold,
I can't believe you.

641
00:25:42,710 --> 00:25:43,905
It was Georgina.

642
00:25:43,906 --> 00:25:45,253
She's Gossip Girl.

643
00:25:45,254 --> 00:25:47,505
Oh, you will really say
anything, won't you?

644
00:25:47,506 --> 00:25:49,155
Oh, no, that part's true.

645
00:25:49,907 --> 00:25:52,362
Well, half true.
I hacked into G.G.'s web site

646
00:25:52,363 --> 00:25:54,161
a few months ago when she
obviously skipped town

647
00:25:54,162 --> 00:25:56,497
and none of you noticed,
and honestly, guys,

648
00:25:56,498 --> 00:25:57,740
the experience has been wonderful,

649
00:25:57,741 --> 00:25:59,067
but it's just as well it's over now.

650
00:25:59,068 --> 00:26:00,599
Okay, could you--could you
tell her the important part?

651
00:26:00,600 --> 00:26:01,949
I didn't do this.

652
00:26:01,950 --> 00:26:04,418
How does it feel to be set up
and lose the person you love

653
00:26:04,419 --> 00:26:06,202
for something you didn't do?

654
00:26:09,483 --> 00:26:11,531
Estee! Please.

655
00:26:11,803 --> 00:26:13,571
There must be a way to
still salvage our deal

656
00:26:13,572 --> 00:26:14,597
with the Grimaldis.

657
00:26:14,598 --> 00:26:17,064
There might be... if there ever was a deal.

658
00:26:17,235 --> 00:26:18,561
I'm sorry?

659
00:26:19,729 --> 00:26:22,301
Oh? The deal thing? Estee made it all up

660
00:26:22,302 --> 00:26:23,324
with my help, of course.

661
00:26:23,325 --> 00:26:24,638
We knew once Chuck heard
you were free again,

662
00:26:24,639 --> 00:26:25,930
he'd do something foolish.

663
00:26:25,931 --> 00:26:28,341
Of course, even I didn't think
it would happen this fast.

664
00:26:28,342 --> 00:26:30,126
Anyway, I must get back to Monaco.

665
00:26:30,127 --> 00:26:32,606
I have a prince to console. Cheers.

666
00:26:32,894 --> 00:26:34,011
Hmm.

667
00:26:34,085 --> 00:26:36,550
Standing ovation? Why, thank you.

668
00:26:37,903 --> 00:26:38,841
Oh, my God.

669
00:26:38,842 --> 00:26:41,404
I was just bitch-slapped by Bridget Jones.

670
00:26:41,887 --> 00:26:43,559
You don't realize what you've done.

671
00:26:43,560 --> 00:26:46,214
Yes, I do. I've brought to
light the real villain,

672
00:26:46,215 --> 00:26:47,846
and let me give you a hint. It's not me.

673
00:26:47,847 --> 00:26:49,506
You bankrupted the Waldorf family.

674
00:26:49,507 --> 00:26:51,507
That's what paying this
dowry is gonna do to them.

675
00:26:52,187 --> 00:26:53,259
It was that much?

676
00:26:55,151 --> 00:26:59,054
No. You left me no choice.

677
00:26:59,122 --> 00:27:00,737
It would be one thing losing Blair

678
00:27:00,738 --> 00:27:02,104
because she doesn't wanna be with me,

679
00:27:02,105 --> 00:27:04,706
but I only lost her because
of something you did.

680
00:27:05,239 --> 00:27:06,430
Were you ever really my friend,

681
00:27:06,431 --> 00:27:07,581
or was it all just an act

682
00:27:07,582 --> 00:27:10,498
so you could keep me in check
until you got what you wanted?

683
00:27:10,499 --> 00:27:12,826
Chuck, that is not how any of
it happened, and you know it.

684
00:27:12,827 --> 00:27:14,315
You framed me,

685
00:27:14,558 --> 00:27:17,407
and in my book, that makes
you the bad guy, not me.

686
00:27:17,775 --> 00:27:19,102
What's going on?

687
00:27:19,430 --> 00:27:20,881
Ever since the accident,

688
00:27:20,882 --> 00:27:23,083
Dan has been trying to keep us apart

689
00:27:23,084 --> 00:27:25,059
so you can have you all to himself.

690
00:27:25,559 --> 00:27:27,290
Be honest for once in your life.

691
00:27:27,291 --> 00:27:29,354
Tell her the truth. She deserves that.

692
00:27:35,943 --> 00:27:37,319
He's absolutely right.

693
00:27:38,494 --> 00:27:39,679
I'm sorry.

694
00:27:46,307 --> 00:27:49,530
"11--I leave my collection
of early British watercolors

695
00:27:49,531 --> 00:27:51,370
to my youngest daughter, Lily."

696
00:27:51,446 --> 00:27:53,183
I'm sensing a pattern here.

697
00:27:53,184 --> 00:27:55,210
Oh, frankly, Carol, I'm
surprised it took you

698
00:27:55,211 --> 00:27:57,422
this long to realize what
mother really thought of you.

699
00:27:57,423 --> 00:27:58,317
Oh, come on, mom. We're almost done here.

700
00:27:58,318 --> 00:28:00,858
No, she knew that she
was a greedy, spoiled--

701
00:28:00,859 --> 00:28:02,413
Excuse me, Lily.

702
00:28:02,414 --> 00:28:04,697
I'm not the one who's
been married five times.

703
00:28:04,698 --> 00:28:05,468
Ladies...

704
00:28:05,469 --> 00:28:06,898
Most of which was for money.

705
00:28:06,899 --> 00:28:08,158
Excuse me--
Well, at least I didn't try

706
00:28:08,159 --> 00:28:10,035
and embezzle my own daughter's trust fund

707
00:28:10,036 --> 00:28:12,021
so I could go shopping at Lululemon.

708
00:28:12,022 --> 00:28:13,058
Okay. The truth is, the only reason

709
00:28:13,059 --> 00:28:14,732
mother left you those trinkets...
"As for the rest of my estate,

710
00:28:14,733 --> 00:28:16,153
all remaining property, artwork, antiques..

711
00:28:16,154 --> 00:28:17,841
"Stocks and bonds, bullion..."
Is because you pretended

712
00:28:17,842 --> 00:28:20,410
to love her and she pretended to love you.

713
00:28:20,411 --> 00:28:21,594
At least we had an honest relationship.

714
00:28:21,595 --> 00:28:23,134
"Contents of my safety deposit
boxes and assorted holdings..."

715
00:28:23,135 --> 00:28:24,582
William, I can't hear a thing.

716
00:28:24,583 --> 00:28:27,527
"I leave... to you."

717
00:28:30,263 --> 00:28:32,451
Y-you mean Charlotte Rhodes, my daughter.

718
00:28:32,452 --> 00:28:35,154
This is not the real Charlie Rhodes.
Lola is.

719
00:28:35,826 --> 00:28:38,789
No, I'm afraid not, Carol. It says--

720
00:28:38,790 --> 00:28:40,182
It says so right here.

721
00:28:40,594 --> 00:28:42,067
Ivy Dickens.

722
00:28:53,943 --> 00:28:55,774
You are never gonna get away with this.

723
00:28:55,775 --> 00:28:56,583
Let's call the police.

724
00:28:56,584 --> 00:28:57,573
Oh, please.

725
00:28:57,574 --> 00:29:01,029
Wait. Look, I never asked
Cece for anything.

726
00:29:01,030 --> 00:29:03,377
Oh, no, instead you poisoned
her against her entire family

727
00:29:03,378 --> 00:29:05,478
and manipulated her into
giving you everything.

728
00:29:05,479 --> 00:29:07,226
That's not true.

729
00:29:07,227 --> 00:29:09,865
Your grandmother just
wanted someone to talk to.

730
00:29:09,866 --> 00:29:12,654
Oh, please. You don't think we
can see through all your lies?

731
00:29:12,655 --> 00:29:15,061
You were a terrible actress
when we first met,

732
00:29:15,062 --> 00:29:15,993
and you still are.

733
00:29:15,994 --> 00:29:16,395
Mom--

734
00:29:16,396 --> 00:29:18,446
I swear on my life

735
00:29:18,447 --> 00:29:21,199
all I ever did was help take care of her.

736
00:29:21,222 --> 00:29:23,178
I mean, I even tried to
tell you that she was sick.

737
00:29:23,179 --> 00:29:23,597
Ohh.

738
00:29:23,598 --> 00:29:25,664
Oh, but conveniently failed.

739
00:29:25,665 --> 00:29:27,209
Look, will you please shut up?

740
00:29:27,210 --> 00:29:28,483
Forget about the money.

741
00:29:28,484 --> 00:29:29,781
That's easy for you to say.

742
00:29:29,782 --> 00:29:31,504
You each still have your trusts.

743
00:29:31,505 --> 00:29:33,702
Mine was liquidated years ago.

744
00:29:33,703 --> 00:29:36,875
How do we know Ivy didn't try
to hasten our mother's death?

745
00:29:37,114 --> 00:29:40,605
Are you people crazy? Look, I loved her.

746
00:29:40,606 --> 00:29:42,719
That's my cue. I think I've heard enough.

747
00:29:42,967 --> 00:29:44,071
This...

748
00:29:45,979 --> 00:29:49,066
You can think whatever you want about me.

749
00:29:49,081 --> 00:29:51,675
But I never lied to Cece.

750
00:29:51,978 --> 00:29:53,098
Prove it.

751
00:29:53,299 --> 00:29:55,955
Well, didn't you hear the will?

752
00:29:56,154 --> 00:29:57,806
She didn't call me "Charlie Rhodes."

753
00:29:57,807 --> 00:30:00,461
She called me "Ivy Dickens."

754
00:30:01,035 --> 00:30:04,171
Your mother knew all of my secrets,

755
00:30:04,172 --> 00:30:06,218
and she knew all of yours, too.

756
00:30:07,320 --> 00:30:09,598
Maybe that's why she left me everything.

757
00:30:11,869 --> 00:30:14,058
Ever since the accident,
I've been blaming myself,

758
00:30:14,059 --> 00:30:16,320
blaming Louis, but it was
Humphrey behind it all.

759
00:30:16,321 --> 00:30:17,454
It's not that simple.

760
00:30:17,455 --> 00:30:18,218
Yes, it is,

761
00:30:18,219 --> 00:30:19,530
and now that we know the truth,

762
00:30:19,531 --> 00:30:21,484
there is nothing in our way.

763
00:30:22,579 --> 00:30:24,835
Humphrey's not the reason
we're not together,

764
00:30:25,142 --> 00:30:26,182
and neither is the dowry.

765
00:30:26,183 --> 00:30:27,838
Is this about saving my life again?

766
00:30:27,839 --> 00:30:30,214
Because we're past that.
You said you wanted to wait

767
00:30:30,215 --> 00:30:33,044
until your marriage was over.
Now it's over.

768
00:30:33,045 --> 00:30:34,707
Chuck, I don't blame you.

769
00:30:35,381 --> 00:30:37,388
And as crazy as this all has gotten,

770
00:30:37,811 --> 00:30:39,390
I know why you did everything.

771
00:30:39,391 --> 00:30:40,880
Because I love you.

772
00:30:40,952 --> 00:30:42,358
And I love you.

773
00:30:45,107 --> 00:30:46,642
I always will.

774
00:30:47,499 --> 00:30:49,786
But that doesn't mean I'm in love with you.

775
00:30:51,806 --> 00:30:52,721
At least not right now,

776
00:30:52,722 --> 00:30:54,777
not the way you need me to be,

777
00:30:54,778 --> 00:30:56,362
not the way you deserve.

778
00:30:58,074 --> 00:30:59,307
I'm sorry.

779
00:30:59,879 --> 00:31:01,047
I have to go.

780
00:31:03,887 --> 00:31:05,055
Hey.

781
00:31:05,306 --> 00:31:08,125
Look, I know how that must
have seemed up there,

782
00:31:08,126 --> 00:31:09,987
but Ivy Dickens is a thief.

783
00:31:09,988 --> 00:31:11,377
She already stole your identity

784
00:31:11,378 --> 00:31:14,131
and your money, and now she's
about to rob the rest of us.

785
00:31:14,294 --> 00:31:16,232
Your family needs you right now.

786
00:31:16,938 --> 00:31:18,346
You're not my family,

787
00:31:18,347 --> 00:31:20,769
and honestly, after listening
to everybody upstairs,

788
00:31:20,770 --> 00:31:22,706
the only person I feel sorry for is Ivy.

789
00:31:23,694 --> 00:31:24,830
She's a criminal.

790
00:31:24,831 --> 00:31:26,703
Because your family made her into one.

791
00:31:26,970 --> 00:31:28,864
Serena, all you people
do is lie to each other

792
00:31:28,865 --> 00:31:31,155
and fight about money, so
what's the difference, really?

793
00:31:33,370 --> 00:31:35,498
You know, it was my own fault
for sticking around today.

794
00:31:35,555 --> 00:31:36,934
I was dumb enough to think

795
00:31:36,935 --> 00:31:38,710
that there might be some
answers here for me.

796
00:31:39,289 --> 00:31:40,758
At least now I know I was wrong.

797
00:31:52,419 --> 00:31:54,725
Care to join me, for old times' sake?

798
00:31:54,726 --> 00:31:57,061
Oh, cut the crap, William.

799
00:31:57,951 --> 00:31:59,393
You need to fix this.

800
00:31:59,394 --> 00:32:01,422
Cece's wishes are Cece's wishes.

801
00:32:01,423 --> 00:32:03,855
I don't care what she wanted.

802
00:32:04,549 --> 00:32:08,437
Today was supposed to be my
payday, and you know that.

803
00:32:09,091 --> 00:32:10,787
I understand you're upset.

804
00:32:11,025 --> 00:32:14,018
No, you don't understand a thing.

805
00:32:14,019 --> 00:32:16,500
If you can't find a way to make this right,

806
00:32:16,887 --> 00:32:21,645
I'm gonna be forced to resort
to other ways to get my money.

807
00:32:21,646 --> 00:32:23,358
Like getting a real job?

808
00:32:24,210 --> 00:32:26,714
I've always hesitated
going after Lola's father

809
00:32:26,715 --> 00:32:31,242
for child support he owes
me, oh, almost 20 years.

810
00:32:32,544 --> 00:32:33,889
Good luck with that.

811
00:32:34,642 --> 00:32:36,050
Do you even know who he is?

812
00:32:36,719 --> 00:32:38,279
I'm looking right at him.

813
00:32:41,834 --> 00:32:43,418
Sorry I never told you,

814
00:32:43,505 --> 00:32:44,873
but not as sorry as you're gonna be

815
00:32:44,874 --> 00:32:48,171
when Lily finds out what we were
doing while you were married,

816
00:32:48,175 --> 00:32:51,486
unless, of course, you have another idea?

817
00:32:52,535 --> 00:32:54,790
This just is my lucky day.

818
00:32:54,967 --> 00:32:58,782
Spotted--Dr. Van Der Woodsen
white as a sheet.

819
00:32:58,783 --> 00:33:00,654
Looks like the rules of this Rhodes

820
00:33:00,655 --> 00:33:03,809
just changed before his very eyes.

821
00:33:18,128 --> 00:33:19,698
How'd you get past the doorman?

822
00:33:19,699 --> 00:33:21,987
Wait. I don't even wanna know.

823
00:33:22,519 --> 00:33:24,601
Look, I know no one believes a word I say,

824
00:33:24,602 --> 00:33:26,412
but I really didn't mean to hurt you.

825
00:33:26,666 --> 00:33:28,375
You were just collateral damage.

826
00:33:28,376 --> 00:33:30,149
Well, if it had been anyone else but me,

827
00:33:30,150 --> 00:33:31,778
I might believe you, but we both know

828
00:33:31,779 --> 00:33:33,907
you've always wanted to
settle the score between us.

829
00:33:34,052 --> 00:33:35,602
You have to understand.

830
00:33:35,603 --> 00:33:37,558
When I decided to stop being Gossip Girl,

831
00:33:37,559 --> 00:33:39,509
I knew that anyone who knew or found out

832
00:33:39,510 --> 00:33:40,812
would have it out for me.

833
00:33:40,891 --> 00:33:43,303
So I realized I'd better
start collecting favors

834
00:33:43,304 --> 00:33:45,528
to use as protection down the line.

835
00:33:45,551 --> 00:33:47,415
Running that picture of you kissing Dan

836
00:33:47,416 --> 00:33:50,120
was my golden ticket to use
with Chuck down the road.

837
00:33:50,884 --> 00:33:52,547
I'd love one from you, too.

838
00:33:52,956 --> 00:33:54,811
Are you using again?

839
00:33:55,347 --> 00:33:57,961
Why would I ever make
myself indebted to you?

840
00:33:58,332 --> 00:34:00,015
Because I have a way that your family

841
00:34:00,016 --> 00:34:02,176
doesn't have to pay the Grimaldis a thing,

842
00:34:02,223 --> 00:34:04,319
and you get your divorce in the process.

843
00:34:04,387 --> 00:34:06,691
Even you can't pull that
rabbit out of your hat.

844
00:34:08,220 --> 00:34:10,380
I was Gossip Girl for two months.

845
00:34:10,508 --> 00:34:12,907
You have no idea the dirt I have on people.

846
00:34:13,621 --> 00:34:15,750
I've been so good for so long,

847
00:34:16,104 --> 00:34:17,828
it's time for me to be bad.

848
00:34:18,123 --> 00:34:19,443
I can help you.

849
00:34:19,444 --> 00:34:21,524
Let me solve all your problems.

850
00:34:30,624 --> 00:34:31,777
Fine.

851
00:34:31,945 --> 00:34:33,245
Anything to be done with this.

852
00:34:33,246 --> 00:34:34,793
Do what you can, and if you succeed,

853
00:34:34,794 --> 00:34:37,668
then I'll enjoy whatever
horror you concoct.

854
00:34:37,864 --> 00:34:40,217
Believe me, I won't let you down,

855
00:34:40,218 --> 00:34:42,940
and you won't let me down,
either, when I come back.

856
00:34:57,175 --> 00:34:58,567
Charles.

857
00:34:59,149 --> 00:35:01,236
Lily, I'm sorry for your loss.

858
00:35:01,237 --> 00:35:04,480
Oh. Tough day, as they say.

859
00:35:05,259 --> 00:35:06,071
For you, too?

860
00:35:06,072 --> 00:35:09,708
Oh, no, I wouldn't dream
of adding to your burden.

861
00:35:09,788 --> 00:35:11,579
Oh, come on. You never have.

862
00:35:11,986 --> 00:35:13,732
It would be a good distraction.

863
00:35:14,345 --> 00:35:15,524
What's wrong?

864
00:35:15,716 --> 00:35:18,987
Blair. She walked away from me today,

865
00:35:18,988 --> 00:35:21,660
and not like she has done in the past.

866
00:35:22,243 --> 00:35:23,459
It was different.

867
00:35:24,795 --> 00:35:26,523
I feel like she's changing.

868
00:35:30,119 --> 00:35:31,739
I know I didn't die in the car accident,

869
00:35:31,740 --> 00:35:33,739
but sometimes it feels like I did.

870
00:35:33,797 --> 00:35:37,055
Don't say that.
You survived, and it was a miracle.

871
00:35:37,056 --> 00:35:38,159
Yeah.

872
00:35:38,479 --> 00:35:39,910
Thanks to Saint Waldorf.

873
00:35:39,911 --> 00:35:41,979
You mean thanks to Saint Jack.

874
00:35:43,899 --> 00:35:45,572
The doctors didn't tell you?

875
00:35:46,508 --> 00:35:49,180
Oh, it's all such a blur now. Um...

876
00:35:50,751 --> 00:35:53,194
When you were in surgery,
there was a complication,

877
00:35:53,195 --> 00:35:57,069
and they needed a family member
for a blood transfusion,

878
00:35:57,240 --> 00:35:59,480
and I gave the doctors Jack's number.

879
00:35:59,578 --> 00:36:00,854
Jack?

880
00:36:01,407 --> 00:36:02,543
Yes.

881
00:36:06,595 --> 00:36:08,014
You haven't lived until you've tried

882
00:36:08,015 --> 00:36:09,854
caramel mousse and chocolate.

883
00:36:10,436 --> 00:36:12,866
Are you just gonna ply me
with sweets until I cheer up?

884
00:36:12,867 --> 00:36:14,671
Because I think I'll
probably go into sugar shock

885
00:36:14,672 --> 00:36:15,987
before that happens.

886
00:36:15,988 --> 00:36:17,538
I am so sorry. I mean, truly.

887
00:36:17,539 --> 00:36:20,879
No, don't be.
You're about the only good thing

888
00:36:20,880 --> 00:36:22,240
in my life right now.

889
00:36:26,111 --> 00:36:28,031
Sorry. Hello?

890
00:36:28,032 --> 00:36:30,592
Lola. It's William Van Der Woodsen.

891
00:36:30,932 --> 00:36:31,734
Hey.

892
00:36:31,735 --> 00:36:32,899
Sorry to bother you.

893
00:36:32,900 --> 00:36:35,468
I just felt badly we weren't
able to finish our conversation,

894
00:36:35,469 --> 00:36:38,108
so I asked Serena for your phone number.

895
00:36:38,157 --> 00:36:41,279
Oh, no. You know, today
was a lot for everybody,

896
00:36:41,280 --> 00:36:44,095
so... no apology necessary.

897
00:36:44,168 --> 00:36:46,562
Well, I'm at the Empire if
you need to reach me, okay?

898
00:36:46,563 --> 00:36:49,684
Okay. Great. Yeah.
I'll call you then, I guess.

899
00:36:50,605 --> 00:36:51,836
Bye.

900
00:37:00,528 --> 00:37:01,794
So after all that,

901
00:37:01,795 --> 00:37:04,659
you're really just giving up "Gossip Girl"?

902
00:37:04,660 --> 00:37:06,442
Well, with Chuck and Blair beholden to me,

903
00:37:06,443 --> 00:37:08,092
I'm more powerful than ever.

904
00:37:08,255 --> 00:37:10,390
It's time to pass the "Gossip Girl" baton.

905
00:37:10,391 --> 00:37:12,742
Let someone else see if
they can outshine me,

906
00:37:12,843 --> 00:37:14,747
or at the very least, die trying.

907
00:37:14,891 --> 00:37:18,075
Now be a doll and send this for me.

908
00:37:19,592 --> 00:37:21,778
My flight to Monaco is in two hours,

909
00:37:21,779 --> 00:37:23,523
and be very careful with this.

910
00:37:23,604 --> 00:37:26,660
There's stuff on this laptop
that'll blow people's minds.

911
00:37:27,844 --> 00:37:29,395
Bring back pictures.

912
00:37:30,010 --> 00:37:31,387
Don't you worry.

913
00:37:36,651 --> 00:37:37,959
Bye.

914
00:37:40,950 --> 00:37:43,796
Finally, some peace and quiet.

915
00:37:45,568 --> 00:37:46,880
I'm sorry.

916
00:37:47,702 --> 00:37:49,528
Am I interrupting something?

917
00:37:51,306 --> 00:37:53,935
Yes, you are.
It's been a long day for everyone.

918
00:37:53,936 --> 00:37:55,451
I think it'd be best if you left.

919
00:37:55,452 --> 00:37:57,648
I was just gonna say the same thing...

920
00:37:57,649 --> 00:37:59,268
But to the two of you.

921
00:38:00,475 --> 00:38:01,803
What are you talking about?

922
00:38:06,235 --> 00:38:08,300
This is my apartment now.

923
00:38:10,139 --> 00:38:11,733
That's ridiculous.

924
00:38:11,734 --> 00:38:14,276
You think we're just
gonna let you live here.

925
00:38:15,135 --> 00:38:17,614
This all just needs to get sorted out.

926
00:38:17,651 --> 00:38:18,995
Naturally.

927
00:38:19,199 --> 00:38:21,807
But you'll have to do
it from someplace else.

928
00:38:21,907 --> 00:38:23,984
Oh, and where are we supposed to go?

929
00:38:23,985 --> 00:38:26,130
It's not like we have another
apartment in the city. It's--

930
00:38:26,131 --> 00:38:27,132
Yes, we do, Lil.

931
00:38:27,133 --> 00:38:27,786
Oh.

932
00:38:27,787 --> 00:38:28,908
Come on.

933
00:38:36,143 --> 00:38:38,143
I'll just get my things.

934
00:38:55,535 --> 00:38:58,683
Oh, Ms. Serena. I tidy up later.

935
00:38:58,684 --> 00:39:00,171
No, it's okay.

936
00:39:02,935 --> 00:39:05,303
It was beautiful wake for Ms. Cece.

937
00:39:06,603 --> 00:39:08,413
Good-byes never easy.

938
00:39:08,967 --> 00:39:11,784
Yeah, I know, but that's all
I seem to say these days--

939
00:39:12,088 --> 00:39:15,992
to my grandma, to jobs,
to boys, to everything.

940
00:39:16,431 --> 00:39:18,480
I'm just sick of good-byes.

941
00:39:19,647 --> 00:39:21,823
Something new arrive soon.

942
00:39:23,868 --> 00:39:25,290
It always does.

943
00:39:26,323 --> 00:39:27,795
I hope so.

944
00:39:28,459 --> 00:39:30,604
I'm ready for it, whatever it is.

945
00:39:45,328 --> 00:39:47,471
Attention, Upper East Siders.

946
00:39:47,532 --> 00:39:49,910
After everything that happened today,

947
00:39:49,911 --> 00:39:52,118
I've decided I need a little break

948
00:39:52,119 --> 00:39:53,707
to catch my breath.

949
00:39:53,708 --> 00:39:55,660
I'm sure you do, too.

950
00:39:56,324 --> 00:39:58,906
But don't worry. I'll be back.

951
00:39:58,907 --> 00:40:00,540
I always am.

952
00:40:00,565 --> 00:40:10,765
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