1
00:00:00,943 --> 00:00:02,137
Gossip Girl here--

2
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your one and only source

3
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into the scandalous lives
of Manhattan's elite.

4
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You shouldn't have sent that
video in to "Gossip Girl."

5
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I didn't do it.

6
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If you didn't do it and I didn't,

7
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then who did?

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Of course I love you, Chuck.
I've always loved you.

9
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Humphrey, you bastard.

10
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You and your family will quite
literally pay the consequences.

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Or did you forget about the dowry?

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If she defaults on the marriage,
the dowry can be reinstated.

13
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You do not have to go with them.

14
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It's just a year.
It's not that long, right?

15
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This is Estee, A.K.A., my royal minder,

16
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but I've just been calling
her "Creeper" for short.

17
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I do have feelings for Dan. I'm sorry.

18
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This isn't gonna be easy for me,

19
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but at least you're being honest.

20
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I don't want to get in
the way of you and Dan.

21
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I think we need to get her to the hospital.

22
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Please stay with me.

23
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You're the only person I feel safe with.

24
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I won't leave you. I promise.

25
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Oh! Mother?

26
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Charlie, what are you doing here?

27
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She's been with Ms. Rhodes for months.

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She's been such a solace to her.

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Mom?

30
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Why did you introduce this
girl as your daughter?

31
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Who is she?
Ivy Dickens.

32
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Your mom hired me to be you.

33
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You hid an entire family from me for money?

34
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I don't really wanna be alone.
Can I stay with you?

35
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There's nothing we can do.

36
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You need to go in and say your good-byes.

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Sync by YYeTs.net
Corrected by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com

38
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They say we should carry
our secrets to the grave.

39
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But on the Upper East Side,

40
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secrets are the one thing
you can never bury.

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Even when we think we know
everything about the ones we love,

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Mrs. Humphrey, in my business,
there's rarely advance warning.

45
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Oh, of course. I just wanted to make sure

46
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all of mother's funeral
arrangements were perfect.

47
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She was very particular,
liked things a certain way.

48
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Um, would it be possible

49
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for us to work with our own florist?

50
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Oh. I'm... sorry.

51
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I thought you knew.

52
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Your mother provided very
detailed instructions.

53
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In fact, if you return
home right about now,

54
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I think you'll discover the
wake is already underway.

55
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Well, I can hear my mother
laughing from beyond the grave.

56
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I'm sure she just didn't want to bother you

57
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with making all the arrangements.

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Or she just didn't trust your taste level.

59
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Oh.

60
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I'm the other daughter, Carol.

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Crashing as usual.

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Well, since you're here,
you might want to know

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that it seems mother took care
of everything in advance.

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I'd tell you to invite your daughter--

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the real one, not the fake one--

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but she's not speaking to you.

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Well, if you'll excuse me, I
apparently have a wake to host.

68
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Aren't you gonna be late for work?

69
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Or you pulling a "Vanilla Sky"

70
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and hiding your hideous disfigurement

71
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from your global publishing empire?

72
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What? I thought you found my
lacrosse injury sexy. No?

73
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Besides, I figured we could
spend the day together

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and catch up.

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Uh-oh. No. No.

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Don't give me that "Let's talk
about our feelings" face.

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What? This is normal face. Okay?

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No, I'm worried about you.
In the past 72 hours,

79
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you found out that you have
this entire secret family.

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Yeah, and my mom hired an
actress I know to play me.

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I'm aware.

82
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Then why haven't you said a word about it?

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I may not have known about
the Van Der Woodsens

84
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for the last 19 years, but
they sure knew about me.

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And they didn't care,

86
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so that pretty much tells me
everything I need to know

87
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about your fancy friends
from the Upper East Side.

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Now buy a girl some breakfast?

89
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All right. Two minutes.

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Get dressed. I'll make coffee.

91
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Hey. How you holding up?

92
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Well, the past few days have
been tough on everyone.

93
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But I-I have a question. Are you with Lola?

94
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She hasn't been answering
any of my calls or texts.

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Ahh. Yeah. She's...

96
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Not really that interested
in being a Rhodes right now.

97
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Well, trust me, I know what it's like

98
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to want distance from your
family more than anyone.

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But I thought maybe with Cece's
death, she'd make an exception.

100
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Well, I'm not so sure.

101
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The entire Van Der Woodsen
clan on a good day

102
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can be pretty overwhelming.

103
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Well, I have an idea. Maybe...
you know, maybe she can

104
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just dip her toes in the
water with just me?

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I'm at my mom's right now.
No one else is here.

106
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They'll be at the funeral home for a while.

107
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Maybe the three of us can meet up.

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I mean, I'll ask her.
I just can't promise you anything.

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Thank you, Nate.

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Coffee?

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Top drawer.

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It relaxes me to watch Anita Dust.

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I did not need to know that.

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What's got you in such a good mood?

115
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I recently found out

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who actually sent "Gossip Girl"

117
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the now-infamous video of me and Blair

118
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at the royal wedding-- that hump, Humphrey.

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What, Dan?

120
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He was only too happy to let
Serena and me take the fall

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so he could worm his way
into Blair's broken heart.

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Unfortunately for him, when
she finds out the truth,

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his chances with her will be destroyed,

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and she will be mine again.

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I don't know, Chuck. Are you sure

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you want to start World
War Waldorf right now?

127
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Why wouldn't I?

128
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'Cause you and I both know

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that nothing can actually
happen between Dan and Blair

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for at least a year.

131
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So... a lot can change in 12 months.

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Take the high road.

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Grab your coat. I'm kidnapping you

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and taking you to a bona
fide Humphrey brunch.

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Psst!

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Ah. Bien sur. Merci. Nous parlerons demain.

137
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So for those of us who took Italian,

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what was that all about?

139
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That was Cyrus and another
attorney at his firm.

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They think they may have found
a loophole in my prenup.

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Are you serious?

142
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Yes. Apparently, since
we signed it in Monaco

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but got married in the U.S.--

144
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You can contest it.

145
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Oh, we can try.

146
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Cyrus thinks the Grimaldis
may have to grant me

147
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an amicable annulment,

148
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meaning that they'd waive my dowry...

149
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And you wouldn't have
to wait the year for...

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Anything.

151
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When will Cyrus know for sure?

152
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Well, he's supposed to talk

153
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to the Grimaldis' royal
attorney in an hour,

154
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so rain check on that waffle?
I should wait here...

155
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Hopefully for the last time.

156
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No.

157
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Delete. Delete.

158
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What are you doing?

159
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Trying to help.

160
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No, you're not.

161
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If you were, you wouldn't let me
slave in front of this computer

162
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all day as Gossip Girl.

163
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Well, I thought you said
knowing everyone's secrets

164
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as Gossip Girl was your dream come true.

165
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It was, until I realized
how much work it is.

166
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I mean, look at me.
I'm exhausted and aggravated.

167
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I have no social life to speak of.

168
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I feel like a stay-at-home mom.

169
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Oh, honey, don't say that.

170
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It's true. I mean, all my
life I've been the one

171
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that they write stories
about, and now I'm just

172
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another anonymous shut-in with
an online shopping addiction.

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Tell me, what can I do?

174
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Well...

175
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Since you asked, Georgina
Sparks needs a recharge,

176
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so I've decided to take
a mental health day,

177
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and I've found the perfect event to crash--

178
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Cece Rhodes' secret wake.

179
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What about "Gossip Girl"?
The site can't go down all day.

180
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It won't.

181
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That's why I'm leaving you in charge.

182
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Don't worry. It's not rocket science.

183
00:07:36,531 --> 00:07:38,431
You just take the tips that people send in

184
00:07:38,432 --> 00:07:40,490
and post them if they're worthy.

185
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Are you sure this is such a good idea?

186
00:07:43,413 --> 00:07:46,025
Aw, what's a Van Der Woodsen family event

187
00:07:46,026 --> 00:07:47,609
if I'm not there to ruin it?

188
00:07:47,610 --> 00:07:49,719
Besides, I already promised a new friend

189
00:07:49,720 --> 00:07:51,219
I'd be her plus one.

190
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Thank you for coming with me.

191
00:07:54,214 --> 00:07:56,705
I know I was invited, but, uh,

192
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I don't think I could face them all alone.

193
00:07:59,189 --> 00:08:02,087
I understand.
When everybody at a party hates you,

194
00:08:02,088 --> 00:08:04,633
who better to bring than
someone they hate even more?

195
00:08:11,443 --> 00:08:12,432
What are you doing down here?

196
00:08:12,433 --> 00:08:14,121
I thought there was a family
breakfast this morning.

197
00:08:14,122 --> 00:08:16,630
Oh, there's a lot more than
that going on upstairs.

198
00:08:16,631 --> 00:08:17,893
I just came down to warn my mom.

199
00:08:17,894 --> 00:08:19,169
You'll see for yourself.

200
00:08:19,170 --> 00:08:20,877
Is Blair's houseboy up there?

201
00:08:20,878 --> 00:08:22,091
You mean Dan?

202
00:08:22,092 --> 00:08:22,987
Is that why you came by--

203
00:08:22,988 --> 00:08:25,706
to get intel on him and Blair,
torture him a little?

204
00:08:25,707 --> 00:08:27,059
Maybe just a little.

205
00:08:27,060 --> 00:08:29,474
Well, he's not here. At least, not yet.

206
00:08:29,475 --> 00:08:31,744
But, um, here's some intel for you.

207
00:08:31,745 --> 00:08:32,792
Blair just texted me

208
00:08:32,793 --> 00:08:35,184
that Cyrus may have found
a loophole in her prenup,

209
00:08:35,185 --> 00:08:37,767
so she may be released sooner
than any of us thought.

210
00:08:39,951 --> 00:08:41,976
And right into Dan's waiting arms.

211
00:08:41,977 --> 00:08:43,550
If you'll excuse me.

212
00:08:51,451 --> 00:08:53,081
So what do you wanna do for breakfast?

213
00:08:53,082 --> 00:08:54,979
Oh, I was thinking
Untitled at the Whitney--

214
00:08:54,980 --> 00:08:56,451
Danny Meyer's new place?

215
00:08:56,452 --> 00:08:58,659
Oh, you're trying to score
a cool point, aren't you?

216
00:08:58,660 --> 00:09:00,633
And since we'll be on Madison anyway...

217
00:09:00,634 --> 00:09:02,144
Oh, here it comes.

218
00:09:02,145 --> 00:09:04,470
Well, we'll be walking
right by Serena's mom's,

219
00:09:04,471 --> 00:09:06,999
which Serena will be at
by herself, I might add.

220
00:09:07,000 --> 00:09:09,378
Nate, what part of wanting nothing to do

221
00:09:09,379 --> 00:09:11,312
with the Van Der Woodsens
don't you understand?

222
00:09:11,313 --> 00:09:12,930
Look, I know how you feel about them,

223
00:09:12,931 --> 00:09:14,431
but not everything from the Upper East Side

224
00:09:14,432 --> 00:09:15,948
is automatically bad.

225
00:09:15,949 --> 00:09:17,725
Okay. Name one thing that isn't.

226
00:09:17,726 --> 00:09:19,243
Me. Come on.

227
00:09:19,244 --> 00:09:21,578
Serena's one of my best friends, okay?

228
00:09:21,579 --> 00:09:23,645
You haven't even given her one shot.
What's the harm?

229
00:09:24,872 --> 00:09:26,906
All right, but if we stop by,

230
00:09:26,907 --> 00:09:27,692
you have to promise me

231
00:09:27,693 --> 00:09:29,750
that you're never gonna play
me like this again, okay?

232
00:09:29,751 --> 00:09:30,965
I promise.

233
00:09:35,923 --> 00:09:39,298
Mom, you knew grandma always did
like to do things her own way.

234
00:09:39,299 --> 00:09:41,899
I know. I'm just not entirely
sure I'm in the mood

235
00:09:41,900 --> 00:09:44,162
for the "Mayflower"
mausoleum in mother's honor

236
00:09:44,163 --> 00:09:46,267
that obviously awaits us upstairs.

237
00:09:51,992 --> 00:09:53,216
Oh, my God.

238
00:10:00,242 --> 00:10:02,141
It was all here when I got home.

239
00:10:03,185 --> 00:10:05,199
There's whiskey and stew...

240
00:10:05,200 --> 00:10:06,638
And mother.

241
00:10:06,917 --> 00:10:08,397
And those are our mourners' chairs

242
00:10:08,398 --> 00:10:12,417
where we will sit and mourn
because this is an Irish wake.

243
00:10:12,418 --> 00:10:16,003
Looks like this wake might end
up being the wake-up call

244
00:10:16,004 --> 00:10:18,228
you so desperately need.

245
00:10:27,263 --> 00:10:28,618
Copy...

246
00:10:32,845 --> 00:10:34,063
Paste...

247
00:10:37,881 --> 00:10:38,610
Post.

248
00:10:47,185 --> 00:10:47,846
Oh, no.

249
00:10:52,678 --> 00:10:53,692
Oh, crap.

250
00:11:02,396 --> 00:11:04,874
I just can't believe that
this was mother's idea.

251
00:11:04,875 --> 00:11:07,767
And who are these people?
I don't recognize a soul.

252
00:11:07,768 --> 00:11:10,159
Well, I guess Cece wanted
us to celebrate her life

253
00:11:10,160 --> 00:11:11,911
and not mourn her death,
so she didn't invite

254
00:11:11,912 --> 00:11:14,128
any of her stodgy socialites, just the...

255
00:11:14,129 --> 00:11:15,347
the help.

256
00:11:15,612 --> 00:11:18,332
That--that--that was her
butcher from East Hampton,

257
00:11:18,333 --> 00:11:19,668
and her driver.

258
00:11:19,669 --> 00:11:21,260
And the fireman that saved her life

259
00:11:21,261 --> 00:11:22,906
the night she left the candle burning.

260
00:11:23,295 --> 00:11:24,298
Hi.

261
00:11:25,804 --> 00:11:27,958
You. What are you doing here?

262
00:11:27,959 --> 00:11:30,481
I was invited by your mother herself.

263
00:11:30,692 --> 00:11:32,139
I promised her I'd come.

264
00:11:32,517 --> 00:11:35,633
I just came to pay my respects.
I won't bother anybody.

265
00:11:36,891 --> 00:11:38,785
This is all Carol's fault.

266
00:11:38,975 --> 00:11:41,038
Yeah, I'm sure she's hiding here somewhere.

267
00:11:41,578 --> 00:11:43,767
You can't let Carol get to you like this.

268
00:11:44,287 --> 00:11:46,463
The executor of the estate
is supposed to be coming,

269
00:11:46,464 --> 00:11:47,446
whoever that is.

270
00:11:47,447 --> 00:11:49,445
My money is on Elias the gardener.

271
00:11:49,446 --> 00:11:51,302
And I'm sure everything will be explained

272
00:11:51,303 --> 00:11:52,767
once they read the will.

273
00:11:52,768 --> 00:11:55,032
Well, whoever it is, they'd
better get here soon,

274
00:11:55,033 --> 00:11:57,217
because I'm not responsible
for what I might do.

275
00:12:03,828 --> 00:12:05,274
So Serena's here alone, huh?

276
00:12:05,275 --> 00:12:07,825
I swear I had no idea what
we were walking into.

277
00:12:07,826 --> 00:12:09,597
So this is an epic fail.

278
00:12:09,598 --> 00:12:11,244
Yeah, let's just go,
before someone sees us.

279
00:12:11,245 --> 00:12:14,395
Lola. May I have a word?

280
00:12:17,494 --> 00:12:19,861
Of course this is happening.
What is it, mother?

281
00:12:19,862 --> 00:12:22,955
Do you mind telling me
what you're doing here?

282
00:12:22,956 --> 00:12:24,321
Oh, yeah, well, let's see.

283
00:12:24,322 --> 00:12:27,733
Um, this morning, while I was
in the shower at Nate's,

284
00:12:27,734 --> 00:12:30,233
Serena, the cousin I just found out about,

285
00:12:30,234 --> 00:12:32,333
tricked me into coming to
the wake of the grandmother

286
00:12:32,334 --> 00:12:34,474
that I never knew existed
at the house of the family

287
00:12:34,475 --> 00:12:36,358
that you hid from me for my entire life.

288
00:12:36,359 --> 00:12:37,866
Does that sum it up for you enough?

289
00:12:37,867 --> 00:12:39,529
I know you blame me for everything,

290
00:12:39,530 --> 00:12:41,596
but I only lied to you because

291
00:12:41,597 --> 00:12:43,514
we're not safe around these people.

292
00:12:43,515 --> 00:12:45,312
They're materialistic monsters.

293
00:12:45,313 --> 00:12:47,741
Oh, says the woman who looted
her own daughter's trust fund.

294
00:12:47,742 --> 00:12:49,134
That money was for you.

295
00:12:49,135 --> 00:12:51,572
You cannot believe a word these people say.

296
00:12:51,817 --> 00:12:54,381
Mom, the only person here
who's ever lied to me is you.

297
00:12:56,011 --> 00:12:58,769
Hey. I know this place is crazy,
but I'm really glad you came.

298
00:12:59,873 --> 00:13:01,152
I was just about to call you.

299
00:13:01,153 --> 00:13:02,972
I know. I screwed up.

300
00:13:02,973 --> 00:13:05,035
Yes, you did. Who knows if anyone

301
00:13:05,036 --> 00:13:06,671
will send in another tip ever?

302
00:13:06,672 --> 00:13:09,014
Luckily for you, I'm in
the eye of the hurricane.

303
00:13:09,015 --> 00:13:11,025
So I can watch your mess play out,

304
00:13:11,026 --> 00:13:13,810
and if this is my last day as
Gossip Girl thanks to you,

305
00:13:13,811 --> 00:13:15,391
I'm going out with a bang.

306
00:13:16,708 --> 00:13:19,872
Dan, I'm so sorry for your loss.

307
00:13:20,344 --> 00:13:21,705
Hey, Dennis.

308
00:13:22,832 --> 00:13:24,280
Georgina, I would ask you
what you're doing here

309
00:13:24,281 --> 00:13:26,167
if I cared, which I don't, so...

310
00:13:26,522 --> 00:13:27,953
I was just wondering if you had the chance

311
00:13:27,954 --> 00:13:29,608
to check "Gossip Girl" recently.

312
00:13:29,609 --> 00:13:31,212
No. Why?

313
00:13:31,213 --> 00:13:33,197
I know I promised I'd never publicly reveal

314
00:13:33,198 --> 00:13:34,445
that little video secret of yours,

315
00:13:34,446 --> 00:13:36,067
but unfortunately, I left Philip in charge.

316
00:13:36,068 --> 00:13:38,148
So... lesson learned. Okay. Bye.

317
00:13:41,286 --> 00:13:43,959
Oh, "G.G.--It's time you told everyone

318
00:13:43,960 --> 00:13:47,439
Dan Humphrey sent in that video
on Blair's wedding day."

319
00:13:47,440 --> 00:13:50,879
Philip is rich, not bright.
I'm sorry, but keep reading.

320
00:13:50,880 --> 00:13:53,480
Oh, my God.
This was-- this was sent in by...

321
00:13:53,752 --> 00:13:54,971
How dare you?

322
00:13:54,972 --> 00:13:57,749
Of all your many, many
attempts at sabotage,

323
00:13:57,750 --> 00:13:59,577
this is by far the most pathetic.

324
00:13:59,578 --> 00:14:02,377
Are you so worried that I'll
find happiness without you

325
00:14:02,378 --> 00:14:04,624
that you feel the need
to spread baseless lies

326
00:14:04,625 --> 00:14:06,406
at the wake of my best
friend's grandmother?

327
00:14:06,407 --> 00:14:08,183
While you may be correct about my motives,

328
00:14:08,184 --> 00:14:09,927
the blast is anything but a lie.

329
00:14:10,379 --> 00:14:12,270
You know Serena and I
didn't send the video,

330
00:14:12,271 --> 00:14:14,572
and it certainly wasn't
Louis, so who's left?

331
00:14:14,573 --> 00:14:16,312
I'm not playing this game.

332
00:14:16,772 --> 00:14:18,782
Why don't you tell that to
your boyfriend over there?

333
00:14:18,783 --> 00:14:20,385
Or even better, ask him the truth.

334
00:14:39,440 --> 00:14:40,621
Blair, please wait.

335
00:14:40,716 --> 00:14:41,690
I have nothing to say to you.

336
00:14:41,691 --> 00:14:43,067
I am so sorry I lied.

337
00:14:43,068 --> 00:14:44,733
You didn't just lie, Humphrey.

338
00:14:44,734 --> 00:14:46,343
You let me blame my best friend and my ex

339
00:14:46,344 --> 00:14:47,664
for something they didn't do.

340
00:14:47,665 --> 00:14:50,314
You embarrassed me in front of
400 guests at my own wedding.

341
00:14:50,315 --> 00:14:52,825
You made me the target of
tabloids and T.S.A. agents,

342
00:14:52,826 --> 00:14:55,400
not to mention, you helped lock
the bars of my gilded cage.

343
00:14:55,401 --> 00:14:56,551
Am I forgetting anything?

344
00:14:56,552 --> 00:14:57,819
I should have told you
the truth right away,

345
00:14:57,820 --> 00:14:59,878
but I swear, I never meant to hurt you.

346
00:14:59,879 --> 00:15:02,053
Then what other reason could you
have had to send in that video?

347
00:15:02,054 --> 00:15:04,187
I spent every day leading up to the wedding

348
00:15:04,188 --> 00:15:05,977
listening to you say you had to marry Louis

349
00:15:05,978 --> 00:15:07,302
even though you didn't love him.

350
00:15:07,303 --> 00:15:09,290
I couldn't stand to see you so unhappy.

351
00:15:09,869 --> 00:15:11,430
I only thought it would stop the wedding.

352
00:15:11,431 --> 00:15:13,412
I never thought you would leave it with me.

353
00:15:13,413 --> 00:15:15,888
And us fighting like this is exactly what

354
00:15:15,889 --> 00:15:17,362
that Bass-face wanted.

355
00:15:17,363 --> 00:15:19,461
But since Cyrus thinks
everything will work out

356
00:15:19,462 --> 00:15:20,309
with the annulment...

357
00:15:20,310 --> 00:15:21,682
What can I do? Is there anything?

358
00:15:21,683 --> 00:15:22,706
Just say the word, and I will--

359
00:15:22,707 --> 00:15:24,745
Just shut up, Humphrey.

360
00:15:25,340 --> 00:15:27,330
I forgive you... for now.

361
00:15:28,970 --> 00:15:30,095
Estee?

362
00:15:30,702 --> 00:15:33,035
Did you follow me?
I thought we weren't meeting till 4:00.

363
00:15:33,036 --> 00:15:35,643
Yes, after Cyrus tried to
trick the royal attorney

364
00:15:35,644 --> 00:15:37,121
into voiding your prenup.

365
00:15:37,758 --> 00:15:38,878
I know everything.

366
00:15:39,601 --> 00:15:41,616
Uh... follow me.

367
00:15:45,245 --> 00:15:47,528
Looks like Blair's annulment
just got annulled.

368
00:15:47,529 --> 00:15:50,043
Shame. You were so close, too.

369
00:15:51,893 --> 00:15:52,723
Let me assure you,

370
00:15:52,724 --> 00:15:54,802
your stepfather's plan will never work.

371
00:15:54,803 --> 00:15:56,507
You slimy little limey.

372
00:15:56,508 --> 00:15:57,799
I do not respond well to threats,

373
00:15:57,800 --> 00:15:59,007
and neither does Cyrus Rose.

374
00:15:59,008 --> 00:15:59,962
He fought in 'Nam.

375
00:15:59,963 --> 00:16:01,012
You didn't let me finish.

376
00:16:01,013 --> 00:16:03,914
His plan might not work, but mine can.

377
00:16:03,915 --> 00:16:05,333
We can help each other, you and I.

378
00:16:05,334 --> 00:16:06,333
Go on.

379
00:16:06,334 --> 00:16:09,120
You don't want Louis.
That's clear. But I do.

380
00:16:09,638 --> 00:16:11,769
The prince and I... we're very close.

381
00:16:11,770 --> 00:16:13,348
We grew up together, but my station

382
00:16:13,349 --> 00:16:15,260
always prevented me from
being a suitable choice

383
00:16:15,261 --> 00:16:16,985
for Her Serene Highness, at least--

384
00:16:16,986 --> 00:16:18,208
Until I came along.

385
00:16:18,209 --> 00:16:18,976
Precisely.

386
00:16:18,977 --> 00:16:20,714
You're a public relations disaster.

387
00:16:20,715 --> 00:16:22,345
Next to your Sarah Ferguson's swan dive,

388
00:16:22,346 --> 00:16:23,654
I'm Kate bloody Middleton.

389
00:16:23,655 --> 00:16:25,943
So you think the Grimaldis will welcome

390
00:16:25,944 --> 00:16:27,878
Louis' loyal-and-loving social secretary

391
00:16:27,879 --> 00:16:28,772
as a replacement?

392
00:16:28,773 --> 00:16:30,012
I know Louis would.

393
00:16:31,103 --> 00:16:32,185
Sorry.

394
00:16:32,631 --> 00:16:36,535
No, no, it's fine.
Oddly enough, I just want him to be happy.

395
00:16:36,536 --> 00:16:38,169
Then this is worth a shot, isn't it?

396
00:16:38,170 --> 00:16:39,389
You have nothing to lose.

397
00:16:41,452 --> 00:16:42,477
Make the call.

398
00:16:42,478 --> 00:16:44,486
So that's the tour.
Thank you for coming by,

399
00:16:44,487 --> 00:16:46,129
or at least letting me
trick you into coming by.

400
00:16:46,130 --> 00:16:47,929
I assure you, Nate had no idea.

401
00:16:47,930 --> 00:16:50,215
Well, actually, he said we
were going to a museum,

402
00:16:50,216 --> 00:16:51,887
so he wasn't that far off.

403
00:16:52,330 --> 00:16:53,949
Look, I know what your mom thinks about us,

404
00:16:53,950 --> 00:16:55,152
you know, how all we care about is money--

405
00:16:55,153 --> 00:16:56,236
and the things you can buy.

406
00:16:56,237 --> 00:16:57,812
But that couldn't be
further from the truth.

407
00:16:57,813 --> 00:16:59,669
Family is what's most important to us,

408
00:16:59,670 --> 00:17:01,088
and to prove that to you, I have two people

409
00:17:01,089 --> 00:17:02,825
who are gonna be so excited to see you.

410
00:17:03,144 --> 00:17:05,604
- Mom--
- You told me mother sold the Limoges,

411
00:17:05,605 --> 00:17:07,040
and don't think I didn't notice

412
00:17:07,041 --> 00:17:09,402
her Georg Jensen service here, either.

413
00:17:09,403 --> 00:17:12,559
Tell Laryssa to count
the silver right away.

414
00:17:17,307 --> 00:17:19,197
I really appreciate everything
you're trying to do,

415
00:17:19,198 --> 00:17:21,584
but, um... I'm just not part of this world,

416
00:17:21,585 --> 00:17:23,433
and I don't really think
I wanna be, either,

417
00:17:23,434 --> 00:17:25,562
so just tell Nate I had to go.

418
00:17:28,245 --> 00:17:29,465
Oh, Lola.

419
00:17:30,007 --> 00:17:31,799
I wasn't expecting to see you here.

420
00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:32,805
Why?

421
00:17:32,806 --> 00:17:33,903
Even if I don't wanna be here,

422
00:17:33,904 --> 00:17:35,363
I have more of a reason than you do.

423
00:17:36,057 --> 00:17:37,369
Look, I know this sounds ridiculous,

424
00:17:37,370 --> 00:17:39,442
but the Van Der Woodsens are
the closest thing I have

425
00:17:39,443 --> 00:17:40,963
to an actual family.

426
00:17:41,530 --> 00:17:42,677
Even though they hate me.

427
00:17:42,678 --> 00:17:44,327
Yeah, I have the opposite problem.

428
00:17:45,211 --> 00:17:47,102
Maybe my mother really was
trying to protect me.

429
00:17:47,103 --> 00:17:49,653
By stealing all your money?

430
00:17:50,061 --> 00:17:51,093
Ladies...

431
00:17:51,884 --> 00:17:54,398
On the Upper East Side, money
is never the real story.

432
00:17:54,399 --> 00:17:56,066
It's usually just the
"X" that marks the spot

433
00:17:56,067 --> 00:17:57,237
for what's buried beneath it.

434
00:17:57,238 --> 00:17:59,095
If I were you two, I'd start digging.

435
00:17:59,525 --> 00:18:00,535
What do you mean?

436
00:18:01,549 --> 00:18:03,535
I know it's hard for you,
but stop and think.

437
00:18:03,536 --> 00:18:04,595
Money doesn't explain

438
00:18:04,596 --> 00:18:06,661
why you hide your daughter for 18 years,

439
00:18:06,662 --> 00:18:07,919
unless she was being paid to do so,

440
00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:09,362
and judging by her hair and her clothes,

441
00:18:09,363 --> 00:18:10,845
I'd say that isn't so.

442
00:18:10,846 --> 00:18:12,320
You think there's something else going on?

443
00:18:13,037 --> 00:18:13,919
How do I find out?

444
00:18:13,920 --> 00:18:15,982
Well, nobody here is going to tell you.

445
00:18:15,983 --> 00:18:18,414
You have to find someone from the outside,

446
00:18:18,834 --> 00:18:20,536
somebody who isn't afraid of them.

447
00:18:20,537 --> 00:18:22,413
Somebody like...

448
00:18:24,512 --> 00:18:25,775
Dad.

449
00:18:26,678 --> 00:18:29,066
Looks like there's a doctor in the house

450
00:18:29,067 --> 00:18:32,163
who's about to get a taste
of his own medicine.

451
00:18:40,554 --> 00:18:41,857
I'm so happy you're here.

452
00:18:41,858 --> 00:18:43,431
It would have meant so much to grandma.

453
00:18:43,432 --> 00:18:44,942
I wouldn't miss this for the world.

454
00:18:45,779 --> 00:18:48,090
I'm just sorry that Eric couldn't
make it back from Zaire.

455
00:18:48,091 --> 00:18:51,141
I think they call that the
Democratic Republic of Congo now.

456
00:18:51,142 --> 00:18:53,550
They do, but trust me, it's not.

457
00:18:54,862 --> 00:18:57,240
Charlie, good to see you again.

458
00:18:57,241 --> 00:18:59,544
Oh, you're a little late
to the party, doctor.

459
00:18:59,545 --> 00:19:01,627
That isn't your niece, but this is.

460
00:19:02,094 --> 00:19:03,000
Sorry?

461
00:19:03,001 --> 00:19:04,802
What are you even doing here?

462
00:19:04,803 --> 00:19:07,159
Come on. Let's go say hi to mom.

463
00:19:07,865 --> 00:19:10,936
Daddy V-D-Dubs has known the
Rhodes sisters since high school.

464
00:19:11,239 --> 00:19:13,447
I bet he has a secret or two
he'd be willing to share

465
00:19:13,448 --> 00:19:14,838
if you ask nicely.

466
00:19:15,663 --> 00:19:18,540
Hey, Serena said you left,
but here you are with Ivy.

467
00:19:19,018 --> 00:19:20,096
Hi, Nate.

468
00:19:20,097 --> 00:19:22,266
I don't know why you're here,
but we should probably leave

469
00:19:22,267 --> 00:19:23,124
since Lola and I were just walking out--

470
00:19:23,125 --> 00:19:25,772
No, I'm gonna stay, and so is she.

471
00:19:25,773 --> 00:19:27,316
We're gonna get to the bottom of why my mom

472
00:19:27,317 --> 00:19:29,472
really kept me away all
these years, so, um,

473
00:19:29,890 --> 00:19:31,133
if you don't mind...

474
00:19:33,628 --> 00:19:34,572
Oui.

475
00:19:35,042 --> 00:19:35,937
Oui.

476
00:19:36,654 --> 00:19:37,797
Naturellement.

477
00:19:38,885 --> 00:19:39,637
Well?

478
00:19:39,638 --> 00:19:41,655
He agreed.
I need to be on the next plane back.

479
00:19:41,878 --> 00:19:43,501
I'm to be amongst the royal court tomorrow

480
00:19:43,502 --> 00:19:45,662
when the prince breaks the
news in a press conference

481
00:19:45,663 --> 00:19:48,308
about how it became clear you
were only ever after his title.

482
00:19:48,309 --> 00:19:49,404
But, uh--

483
00:19:50,623 --> 00:19:52,363
Okay. Okay. What else?

484
00:19:52,364 --> 00:19:53,903
Then the royal family's publicist

485
00:19:53,904 --> 00:19:55,073
will start to build me up,

486
00:19:55,074 --> 00:19:57,476
the woman who has watched
from the wings for decades.

487
00:19:57,477 --> 00:19:59,635
Okay, enough about you. More about me.

488
00:20:00,835 --> 00:20:02,305
Her serene highness and the prince

489
00:20:02,306 --> 00:20:03,786
are only willing to annul the marriage

490
00:20:03,787 --> 00:20:06,290
if you agree to a gag order on all matters

491
00:20:06,291 --> 00:20:07,353
regarding the dissolution.

492
00:20:07,354 --> 00:20:09,688
They can be the only ones
to speak about it publicly.

493
00:20:09,689 --> 00:20:10,828
Do you understand what that means?

494
00:20:10,829 --> 00:20:12,037
Well, I'll do whatever they say,

495
00:20:12,038 --> 00:20:13,771
as long as it gets me out of this marriage.

496
00:20:13,772 --> 00:20:15,621
A press blackout is a small price to pay

497
00:20:15,622 --> 00:20:16,556
to get my life back.

498
00:20:16,557 --> 00:20:18,179
That includes no more blind items

499
00:20:18,180 --> 00:20:20,288
on "Page Six" or posts on "Gossip Girl."

500
00:20:20,289 --> 00:20:22,605
Princess Sophie was very clear
if you don't adhere to the deal,

501
00:20:22,606 --> 00:20:23,689
they'll make you pay.

502
00:20:23,690 --> 00:20:25,250
Do whatever you want in your private life.

503
00:20:25,251 --> 00:20:26,663
Just keep it private.

504
00:20:27,022 --> 00:20:27,932
Good luck.

505
00:20:28,160 --> 00:20:30,200
I'm glad we can both get what we want.

506
00:20:30,201 --> 00:20:32,377
And please assure the
royals when you see them

507
00:20:32,378 --> 00:20:34,082
that they won't hear a peep from me.

508
00:20:40,421 --> 00:20:41,380
Beer me.

509
00:20:41,935 --> 00:20:43,835
Perhaps you'd prefer
something a little stronger.

510
00:20:43,836 --> 00:20:45,032
It's green.

511
00:20:45,033 --> 00:20:46,232
What are you so relaxed about?

512
00:20:46,233 --> 00:20:48,300
We both know that Gossip
Girl's latest hiccup

513
00:20:48,301 --> 00:20:50,085
makes you look even worse in Blair's eyes.

514
00:20:50,086 --> 00:20:53,310
Maybe today, but at least she knows

515
00:20:53,311 --> 00:20:56,001
Dan isn't the good guy he pretends to be.

516
00:20:56,002 --> 00:20:57,380
In time, that'll sink in.

517
00:20:57,928 --> 00:21:00,407
She's not getting out of this
royal mess anytime soon.

518
00:21:00,408 --> 00:21:02,060
Oh, but she just did.

519
00:21:02,061 --> 00:21:04,719
That royal minder lady
brokered the deal herself.

520
00:21:04,946 --> 00:21:06,806
Although the hint of a new scandal

521
00:21:06,807 --> 00:21:09,266
could probably derail it
if you act fast enough.

522
00:21:09,267 --> 00:21:11,749
Blair will come to her senses.

523
00:21:11,750 --> 00:21:13,132
What if she doesn't?

524
00:21:13,364 --> 00:21:14,839
What if you spend the rest of your days

525
00:21:14,840 --> 00:21:16,614
wondering why you didn't try and stop her

526
00:21:16,615 --> 00:21:18,059
from falling into the flannelled arms

527
00:21:18,060 --> 00:21:19,548
of that pretentious poseur?

528
00:21:19,939 --> 00:21:22,035
Anywho, something to think about.

529
00:21:23,895 --> 00:21:25,352
What do you have in mind?

530
00:21:27,540 --> 00:21:29,235
Remember when I showed you this?

531
00:21:33,381 --> 00:21:35,888
How can I trust Gossip Girl
wouldn't leave my fingerprints

532
00:21:35,889 --> 00:21:37,386
on another blast?

533
00:21:37,387 --> 00:21:39,927
You can't, which is why
we use her latest screwup

534
00:21:39,928 --> 00:21:42,653
to our advantage and leave
somebody else's instead.

535
00:21:42,876 --> 00:21:44,499
Oh, look. Dan's phone.

536
00:21:44,500 --> 00:21:47,186
It must have fallen out of
his coat and into my purse.

537
00:21:47,192 --> 00:21:49,243
I'm sorry, Carol, but I'm
gonna have to ask you

538
00:21:49,244 --> 00:21:50,891
to let me search your bag.

539
00:21:50,977 --> 00:21:52,151
Laryssa saw you pocket--

540
00:21:52,152 --> 00:21:54,643
Lily, this is beneath even you.

541
00:21:54,644 --> 00:21:56,805
I see some things never change--

542
00:21:56,999 --> 00:21:59,674
the maid accusing my ex
sister-in-law of stealing.

543
00:21:59,675 --> 00:22:01,435
William, what a lovely surprise.

544
00:22:01,475 --> 00:22:01,954
Hello, dear.

545
00:22:01,955 --> 00:22:03,514
Doesn't dad look great?

546
00:22:03,515 --> 00:22:04,701
And how are you, Carol?

547
00:22:04,702 --> 00:22:06,291
Under surveillance.

548
00:22:06,292 --> 00:22:08,702
Lily has been shadowing me all afternoon.

549
00:22:08,703 --> 00:22:10,386
That's because I knew you'd
try to steal something,

550
00:22:10,387 --> 00:22:11,455
and apparently you did.

551
00:22:11,456 --> 00:22:12,434
Do you see what I have to deal with,

552
00:22:12,435 --> 00:22:14,203
while my own mother lies right here?

553
00:22:14,204 --> 00:22:15,551
All right, Carol, I've had enough.

554
00:22:15,552 --> 00:22:17,461
I want you out of my apartment this minute.

555
00:22:17,462 --> 00:22:20,360
Technically, it's Cece's apartment.

556
00:22:20,492 --> 00:22:21,499
What are you talking about?

557
00:22:21,500 --> 00:22:22,854
This is our home.

558
00:22:22,855 --> 00:22:24,683
Only because your mother bought it for us.

559
00:22:24,684 --> 00:22:27,564
Remember? For tax purposes, of course.

560
00:22:28,423 --> 00:22:30,215
But now it's part of the estate.

561
00:22:30,355 --> 00:22:32,914
William, thank you again for coming.

562
00:22:32,915 --> 00:22:34,839
And I would appreciate it if
you would leave the settling

563
00:22:34,840 --> 00:22:37,750
of mother's affairs to the
executor of her estate.

564
00:22:38,134 --> 00:22:39,636
That's exactly what I'm doing.

565
00:22:39,803 --> 00:22:41,387
I am her executor.

566
00:22:42,927 --> 00:22:44,271
And I brought her will.

567
00:22:51,548 --> 00:22:53,623
Ladies, I know this must come as a shock,

568
00:22:53,624 --> 00:22:55,170
but as you well know, your mother and I

569
00:22:55,171 --> 00:22:57,105
had a long and enduring friendship.

570
00:22:57,106 --> 00:22:59,990
It's just, of all the
people for Cece to pick,

571
00:22:59,991 --> 00:23:01,390
I find it curious that she chooses

572
00:23:01,391 --> 00:23:03,550
the father of Lily's children.

573
00:23:03,551 --> 00:23:05,406
Well, she couldn't very well
have asked the father of yours.

574
00:23:05,407 --> 00:23:08,007
There aren't enough D.N.A.
tests in Dade County to find him.

575
00:23:08,008 --> 00:23:10,132
I think I'll let you two
blow off some steam.

576
00:23:10,133 --> 00:23:11,514
If you'll excuse me.

577
00:23:13,846 --> 00:23:16,391
Hi again. I'm Lola, Carol's daughter.

578
00:23:16,392 --> 00:23:17,319
The real one.

579
00:23:17,320 --> 00:23:18,602
What can I do for you?

580
00:23:18,603 --> 00:23:20,187
Well, I just recently found out

581
00:23:20,188 --> 00:23:21,370
that I'm a part of this family,

582
00:23:21,371 --> 00:23:23,578
and I was wondering why I
was never allowed to know.

583
00:23:23,579 --> 00:23:25,979
So I thought, you know,
you've known my mom longer

584
00:23:25,980 --> 00:23:27,727
than anyone aside from Lily--

585
00:23:27,728 --> 00:23:28,955
Excuse me.

586
00:23:28,956 --> 00:23:30,094
Mom, do you mind?

587
00:23:30,095 --> 00:23:32,231
Yes, actually, I do.

588
00:23:32,371 --> 00:23:33,574
You'll let me know when you need me,

589
00:23:33,575 --> 00:23:34,464
won't you, William?

590
00:23:39,948 --> 00:23:41,719
Miss Blair, I'm so sorry,

591
00:23:41,720 --> 00:23:43,127
but Ms. Estee jedi-mind-tricked me

592
00:23:43,128 --> 00:23:44,583
into telling her you at wake.

593
00:23:44,600 --> 00:23:45,452
Too many secrets lately.

594
00:23:45,453 --> 00:23:47,671
I-I feel like Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy.

595
00:23:47,672 --> 00:23:49,722
Oh, it's fine. I'm glad Estee found me.

596
00:23:49,723 --> 00:23:51,443
Everything's gonna work out perfectly now.

597
00:23:51,444 --> 00:23:53,259
That's not what Mr. Cyrus say.

598
00:23:53,260 --> 00:23:54,790
He's been trying to call you for last hour.

599
00:23:54,791 --> 00:23:55,902
Why you no answer phone?

600
00:23:55,903 --> 00:23:57,922
I put it on silent. I'm at a wake.

601
00:23:57,923 --> 00:23:59,652
And you can tell Cyrus he
doesn't need to worry.

602
00:23:59,653 --> 00:24:01,549
I took care of the annulment myself.

603
00:24:01,550 --> 00:24:04,960
Then why Grimaldis just call him
and ask for all the money now?

604
00:24:05,692 --> 00:24:07,699
Well, they agreed to waive the dowry

605
00:24:07,700 --> 00:24:09,748
as long as I completely
stayed out of the press.

606
00:24:10,203 --> 00:24:13,956
Maybe princess Sophie read
"Gossip Girl" again, then.

607
00:24:14,947 --> 00:24:17,539
"Please post A.S.A.P. Dan."

608
00:24:19,179 --> 00:24:21,205
"I, Celia Catherine Rhodes,

609
00:24:21,206 --> 00:24:22,761
of Montecito, California,

610
00:24:22,762 --> 00:24:24,479
"being of sound mind and body,

611
00:24:24,480 --> 00:24:27,807
"do hereby declare this to be
my last will and testament.

612
00:24:27,819 --> 00:24:31,379
"First, I leave my two
Andalusian thoroughbreds,

613
00:24:31,380 --> 00:24:34,420
"Rickey and Reggie Rhodes,
to the Valley Ranch stables.

614
00:24:34,479 --> 00:24:37,107
Second, I leave my Faberge
egg collection--"

615
00:24:37,108 --> 00:24:38,498
Hey, dad, wait a second.

616
00:24:38,499 --> 00:24:40,784
Sorry. I just--I don't
want her here for this.

617
00:24:43,879 --> 00:24:45,118
Is she bothering you?

618
00:24:45,119 --> 00:24:46,656
She's a con artist, William.

619
00:24:46,657 --> 00:24:48,159
And not a very good one.

620
00:24:48,539 --> 00:24:50,786
Nevertheless, your mother
invited her to be here,

621
00:24:50,787 --> 00:24:55,124
so... I would like everybody to
respect Cece's wishes, okay?

622
00:24:56,028 --> 00:24:57,120
Please.

623
00:24:58,180 --> 00:25:01,220
Now if there are no more interruptions...

624
00:25:02,610 --> 00:25:04,305
I think you dropped something.

625
00:25:05,824 --> 00:25:06,815
What...

626
00:25:09,754 --> 00:25:11,142
Are you insane? Blair's gonna think

627
00:25:11,143 --> 00:25:13,087
I actually sent this picture
in to "Gossip Girl."

628
00:25:13,103 --> 00:25:14,815
Duh. That was the point.

629
00:25:14,939 --> 00:25:17,487
We had a deal, Georgina.
You promised to protect me

630
00:25:17,488 --> 00:25:19,171
if I didn't tell anyone
you were Gossip Girl.

631
00:25:19,172 --> 00:25:21,796
Mm-hmm. I sold you out, so start talking.

632
00:25:22,272 --> 00:25:23,554
Look, I had fun being Gossip Girl,

633
00:25:23,555 --> 00:25:25,067
but I'm kind of over it.

634
00:25:25,068 --> 00:25:27,618
I'm just glad that the final
blast was my masterpiece.

635
00:25:27,619 --> 00:25:28,708
I'm sorry if it ruins your life.

636
00:25:28,709 --> 00:25:31,475
It's not just mine.
It's Blair's, the Waldorfs'.

637
00:25:31,476 --> 00:25:33,607
Oh. I know. What a mess.

638
00:25:33,608 --> 00:25:36,248
It's like I just took down
the entire Upper East Side.

639
00:25:37,809 --> 00:25:40,214
Oh. Here comes the bull's-eye.

640
00:25:40,215 --> 00:25:42,762
You Brooklyn Benedict Arnold,
I can't believe you.

641
00:25:42,763 --> 00:25:43,958
It was Georgina.

642
00:25:43,959 --> 00:25:45,306
She's Gossip Girl.

643
00:25:45,307 --> 00:25:47,558
Oh, you will really say
anything, won't you?

644
00:25:47,559 --> 00:25:49,208
Oh, no, that part's true.

645
00:25:49,960 --> 00:25:52,415
Well, half true.
I hacked into G.G.'s web site

646
00:25:52,416 --> 00:25:54,214
a few months ago when she
obviously skipped town

647
00:25:54,215 --> 00:25:56,550
and none of you noticed,
and honestly, guys,

648
00:25:56,551 --> 00:25:57,793
the experience has been wonderful,

649
00:25:57,794 --> 00:25:59,120
but it's just as well it's over now.

650
00:25:59,121 --> 00:26:00,652
Okay, could you--could you
tell her the important part?

651
00:26:00,653 --> 00:26:02,002
I didn't do this.

652
00:26:02,003 --> 00:26:04,471
How does it feel to be set up
and lose the person you love

653
00:26:04,472 --> 00:26:06,255
for something you didn't do?

654
00:26:09,536 --> 00:26:11,584
Estee! Please.

655
00:26:11,856 --> 00:26:13,624
There must be a way to
still salvage our deal

656
00:26:13,625 --> 00:26:14,650
with the Grimaldis.

657
00:26:14,651 --> 00:26:17,117
There might be... if there ever was a deal.

658
00:26:17,288 --> 00:26:18,614
I'm sorry?

659
00:26:19,782 --> 00:26:22,354
Oh? The deal thing? Estee made it all up

660
00:26:22,355 --> 00:26:23,377
with my help, of course.

661
00:26:23,378 --> 00:26:24,691
We knew once Chuck heard
you were free again,

662
00:26:24,692 --> 00:26:25,983
he'd do something foolish.

663
00:26:25,984 --> 00:26:28,394
Of course, even I didn't think
it would happen this fast.

664
00:26:28,395 --> 00:26:30,179
Anyway, I must get back to Monaco.

665
00:26:30,180 --> 00:26:32,659
I have a prince to console. Cheers.

666
00:26:32,947 --> 00:26:34,064
Hmm.

667
00:26:34,138 --> 00:26:36,603
Standing ovation? Why, thank you.

668
00:26:37,956 --> 00:26:38,894
Oh, my God.

669
00:26:38,895 --> 00:26:41,457
I was just bitch-slapped by Bridget Jones.

670
00:26:41,940 --> 00:26:43,612
You don't realize what you've done.

671
00:26:43,613 --> 00:26:46,267
Yes, I do. I've brought to
light the real villain,

672
00:26:46,268 --> 00:26:47,899
and let me give you a hint. It's not me.

673
00:26:47,900 --> 00:26:49,559
You bankrupted the Waldorf family.

674
00:26:49,560 --> 00:26:51,560
That's what paying this
dowry is gonna do to them.

675
00:26:52,240 --> 00:26:53,312
It was that much?

676
00:26:55,204 --> 00:26:59,107
No. You left me no choice.

677
00:26:59,175 --> 00:27:00,790
It would be one thing losing Blair

678
00:27:00,791 --> 00:27:02,157
because she doesn't wanna be with me,

679
00:27:02,158 --> 00:27:04,759
but I only lost her because
of something you did.

680
00:27:05,292 --> 00:27:06,483
Were you ever really my friend,

681
00:27:06,484 --> 00:27:07,634
or was it all just an act

682
00:27:07,635 --> 00:27:10,551
so you could keep me in check
until you got what you wanted?

683
00:27:10,552 --> 00:27:12,879
Chuck, that is not how any of
it happened, and you know it.

684
00:27:12,880 --> 00:27:14,368
You framed me,

685
00:27:14,611 --> 00:27:17,460
and in my book, that makes
you the bad guy, not me.

686
00:27:17,828 --> 00:27:19,155
What's going on?

687
00:27:19,483 --> 00:27:20,934
Ever since the accident,

688
00:27:20,935 --> 00:27:23,136
Dan has been trying to keep us apart

689
00:27:23,137 --> 00:27:25,112
so you can have you all to himself.

690
00:27:25,612 --> 00:27:27,343
Be honest for once in your life.

691
00:27:27,344 --> 00:27:29,407
Tell her the truth. She deserves that.

692
00:27:35,996 --> 00:27:37,372
He's absolutely right.

693
00:27:38,547 --> 00:27:39,732
I'm sorry.

694
00:27:46,360 --> 00:27:49,583
"11--I leave my collection
of early British watercolors

695
00:27:49,584 --> 00:27:51,423
to my youngest daughter, Lily."

696
00:27:51,499 --> 00:27:53,236
I'm sensing a pattern here.

697
00:27:53,237 --> 00:27:55,263
Oh, frankly, Carol, I'm
surprised it took you

698
00:27:55,264 --> 00:27:57,475
this long to realize what
mother really thought of you.

699
00:27:57,476 --> 00:27:58,370
Oh, come on, mom. We're almost done here.

700
00:27:58,371 --> 00:28:00,911
No, she knew that she
was a greedy, spoiled--

701
00:28:00,912 --> 00:28:02,466
Excuse me, Lily.

702
00:28:02,467 --> 00:28:04,750
I'm not the one who's
been married five times.

703
00:28:04,751 --> 00:28:05,521
Ladies...

704
00:28:05,522 --> 00:28:06,951
Most of which was for money.

705
00:28:06,952 --> 00:28:08,211
Excuse me--
Well, at least I didn't try

706
00:28:08,212 --> 00:28:10,088
and embezzle my own daughter's trust fund

707
00:28:10,089 --> 00:28:12,074
so I could go shopping at Lululemon.

708
00:28:12,075 --> 00:28:13,111
Okay. The truth is, the only reason

709
00:28:13,112 --> 00:28:14,785
mother left you those trinkets...
"As for the rest of my estate,

710
00:28:14,786 --> 00:28:16,206
all remaining property, artwork, antiques..

711
00:28:16,207 --> 00:28:17,894
"Stocks and bonds, bullion..."
Is because you pretended

712
00:28:17,895 --> 00:28:20,463
to love her and she pretended to love you.

713
00:28:20,464 --> 00:28:21,647
At least we had an honest relationship.

714
00:28:21,648 --> 00:28:23,187
"Contents of my safety deposit
boxes and assorted holdings..."

715
00:28:23,188 --> 00:28:24,635
William, I can't hear a thing.

716
00:28:24,636 --> 00:28:27,580
"I leave... to you."

717
00:28:30,316 --> 00:28:32,504
Y-you mean Charlotte Rhodes, my daughter.

718
00:28:32,505 --> 00:28:35,207
This is not the real Charlie Rhodes.
Lola is.

719
00:28:35,879 --> 00:28:38,842
No, I'm afraid not, Carol. It says--

720
00:28:38,843 --> 00:28:40,235
It says so right here.

721
00:28:40,647 --> 00:28:42,120
Ivy Dickens.

722
00:28:53,636 --> 00:28:55,467
You are never gonna get away with this.

723
00:28:55,468 --> 00:28:56,276
Let's call the police.

724
00:28:56,277 --> 00:28:57,266
Oh, please.

725
00:28:57,267 --> 00:29:00,722
Wait. Look, I never asked
Cece for anything.

726
00:29:00,723 --> 00:29:03,070
Oh, no, instead you poisoned
her against her entire family

727
00:29:03,071 --> 00:29:05,171
and manipulated her into
giving you everything.

728
00:29:05,172 --> 00:29:06,919
That's not true.

729
00:29:06,920 --> 00:29:09,558
Your grandmother just
wanted someone to talk to.

730
00:29:09,559 --> 00:29:12,347
Oh, please. You don't think we
can see through all your lies?

731
00:29:12,348 --> 00:29:14,754
You were a terrible actress
when we first met,

732
00:29:14,755 --> 00:29:15,686
and you still are.

733
00:29:15,687 --> 00:29:16,088
Mom--

734
00:29:16,089 --> 00:29:18,139
I swear on my life

735
00:29:18,140 --> 00:29:20,892
all I ever did was help take care of her.

736
00:29:20,915 --> 00:29:22,871
I mean, I even tried to
tell you that she was sick.

737
00:29:22,872 --> 00:29:23,290
Ohh.

738
00:29:23,291 --> 00:29:25,357
Oh, but conveniently failed.

739
00:29:25,358 --> 00:29:26,902
Look, will you please shut up?

740
00:29:26,903 --> 00:29:28,176
Forget about the money.

741
00:29:28,177 --> 00:29:29,474
That's easy for you to say.

742
00:29:29,475 --> 00:29:31,197
You each still have your trusts.

743
00:29:31,198 --> 00:29:33,395
Mine was liquidated years ago.

744
00:29:33,396 --> 00:29:36,568
How do we know Ivy didn't try
to hasten our mother's death?

745
00:29:36,807 --> 00:29:40,298
Are you people crazy? Look, I loved her.

746
00:29:40,299 --> 00:29:42,412
That's my cue. I think I've heard enough.

747
00:29:42,660 --> 00:29:43,764
This...

748
00:29:45,672 --> 00:29:48,759
You can think whatever you want about me.

749
00:29:48,774 --> 00:29:51,368
But I never lied to Cece.

750
00:29:51,671 --> 00:29:52,791
Prove it.

751
00:29:52,992 --> 00:29:55,648
Well, didn't you hear the will?

752
00:29:55,847 --> 00:29:57,499
She didn't call me "Charlie Rhodes."

753
00:29:57,500 --> 00:30:00,154
She called me "Ivy Dickens."

754
00:30:00,728 --> 00:30:03,864
Your mother knew all of my secrets,

755
00:30:03,865 --> 00:30:05,911
and she knew all of yours, too.

756
00:30:07,013 --> 00:30:09,291
Maybe that's why she left me everything.

757
00:30:11,562 --> 00:30:13,751
Ever since the accident,
I've been blaming myself,

758
00:30:13,752 --> 00:30:16,013
blaming Louis, but it was
Humphrey behind it all.

759
00:30:16,014 --> 00:30:17,147
It's not that simple.

760
00:30:17,148 --> 00:30:17,911
Yes, it is,

761
00:30:17,912 --> 00:30:19,223
and now that we know the truth,

762
00:30:19,224 --> 00:30:21,177
there is nothing in our way.

763
00:30:22,272 --> 00:30:24,528
Humphrey's not the reason
we're not together,

764
00:30:24,835 --> 00:30:25,875
and neither is the dowry.

765
00:30:25,876 --> 00:30:27,531
Is this about saving my life again?

766
00:30:27,532 --> 00:30:29,907
Because we're past that.
You said you wanted to wait

767
00:30:29,908 --> 00:30:32,737
until your marriage was over.
Now it's over.

768
00:30:32,738 --> 00:30:34,400
Chuck, I don't blame you.

769
00:30:35,074 --> 00:30:37,081
And as crazy as this all has gotten,

770
00:30:37,504 --> 00:30:39,083
I know why you did everything.

771
00:30:39,084 --> 00:30:40,573
Because I love you.

772
00:30:40,645 --> 00:30:42,051
And I love you.

773
00:30:44,800 --> 00:30:46,335
I always will.

774
00:30:47,192 --> 00:30:49,479
But that doesn't mean I'm in love with you.

775
00:30:51,499 --> 00:30:52,414
At least not right now,

776
00:30:52,415 --> 00:30:54,470
not the way you need me to be,

777
00:30:54,471 --> 00:30:56,055
not the way you deserve.

778
00:30:57,767 --> 00:30:59,000
I'm sorry.

779
00:30:59,572 --> 00:31:00,740
I have to go.

780
00:31:03,580 --> 00:31:04,748
Hey.

781
00:31:04,999 --> 00:31:07,818
Look, I know how that must
have seemed up there,

782
00:31:07,819 --> 00:31:09,680
but Ivy Dickens is a thief.

783
00:31:09,681 --> 00:31:11,070
She already stole your identity

784
00:31:11,071 --> 00:31:13,824
and your money, and now she's
about to rob the rest of us.

785
00:31:13,987 --> 00:31:15,925
Your family needs you right now.

786
00:31:16,631 --> 00:31:18,039
You're not my family,

787
00:31:18,040 --> 00:31:20,462
and honestly, after listening
to everybody upstairs,

788
00:31:20,463 --> 00:31:22,399
the only person I feel sorry for is Ivy.

789
00:31:23,387 --> 00:31:24,523
She's a criminal.

790
00:31:24,524 --> 00:31:26,396
Because your family made her into one.

791
00:31:26,663 --> 00:31:28,557
Serena, all you people
do is lie to each other

792
00:31:28,558 --> 00:31:30,848
and fight about money, so
what's the difference, really?

793
00:31:33,063 --> 00:31:35,191
You know, it was my own fault
for sticking around today.

794
00:31:35,248 --> 00:31:36,627
I was dumb enough to think

795
00:31:36,628 --> 00:31:38,403
that there might be some
answers here for me.

796
00:31:38,982 --> 00:31:40,451
At least now I know I was wrong.

797
00:31:52,112 --> 00:31:54,418
Care to join me, for old times' sake?

798
00:31:54,419 --> 00:31:56,754
Oh, cut the crap, William.

799
00:31:57,644 --> 00:31:59,086
You need to fix this.

800
00:31:59,087 --> 00:32:01,115
Cece's wishes are Cece's wishes.

801
00:32:01,116 --> 00:32:03,548
I don't care what she wanted.

802
00:32:04,242 --> 00:32:08,130
Today was supposed to be my
payday, and you know that.

803
00:32:08,784 --> 00:32:10,480
I understand you're upset.

804
00:32:10,718 --> 00:32:13,711
No, you don't understand a thing.

805
00:32:13,712 --> 00:32:16,193
If you can't find a way to make this right,

806
00:32:16,580 --> 00:32:21,338
I'm gonna be forced to resort
to other ways to get my money.

807
00:32:21,339 --> 00:32:23,051
Like getting a real job?

808
00:32:23,903 --> 00:32:26,407
I've always hesitated
going after Lola's father

809
00:32:26,408 --> 00:32:30,935
for child support he owes
me, oh, almost 20 years.

810
00:32:32,237 --> 00:32:33,582
Good luck with that.

811
00:32:34,335 --> 00:32:35,743
Do you even know who he is?

812
00:32:36,412 --> 00:32:37,972
I'm looking right at him.

813
00:32:41,527 --> 00:32:43,111
Sorry I never told you,

814
00:32:43,198 --> 00:32:44,566
but not as sorry as you're gonna be

815
00:32:44,567 --> 00:32:47,864
when Lily finds out what we were
doing while you were married,

816
00:32:47,868 --> 00:32:51,179
unless, of course, you have another idea?

817
00:32:52,228 --> 00:32:54,483
This just is my lucky day.

818
00:32:54,660 --> 00:32:58,475
Spotted--Dr. Van Der Woodsen
white as a sheet.

819
00:32:58,476 --> 00:33:00,347
Looks like the rules of this Rhodes

820
00:33:00,348 --> 00:33:03,502
just changed before his very eyes.

821
00:33:17,924 --> 00:33:19,498
How'd you get past the doorman?

822
00:33:19,499 --> 00:33:21,787
Wait. I don't even wanna know.

823
00:33:22,319 --> 00:33:24,401
Look, I know no one believes a word I say,

824
00:33:24,402 --> 00:33:26,212
but I really didn't mean to hurt you.

825
00:33:26,466 --> 00:33:28,175
You were just collateral damage.

826
00:33:28,176 --> 00:33:29,949
Well, if it had been anyone else but me,

827
00:33:29,950 --> 00:33:31,578
I might believe you, but we both know

828
00:33:31,579 --> 00:33:33,707
you've always wanted to
settle the score between us.

829
00:33:33,852 --> 00:33:35,402
You have to understand.

830
00:33:35,403 --> 00:33:37,358
When I decided to stop being Gossip Girl,

831
00:33:37,359 --> 00:33:39,309
I knew that anyone who knew or found out

832
00:33:39,310 --> 00:33:40,612
would have it out for me.

833
00:33:40,691 --> 00:33:43,103
So I realized I'd better
start collecting favors

834
00:33:43,104 --> 00:33:45,328
to use as protection down the line.

835
00:33:45,351 --> 00:33:47,215
Running that picture of you kissing Dan

836
00:33:47,216 --> 00:33:49,920
was my golden ticket to use
with Chuck down the road.

837
00:33:50,684 --> 00:33:52,347
I'd love one from you, too.

838
00:33:52,756 --> 00:33:54,611
Are you using again?

839
00:33:55,147 --> 00:33:57,761
Why would I ever make
myself indebted to you?

840
00:33:58,132 --> 00:33:59,815
Because I have a way that your family

841
00:33:59,816 --> 00:34:01,976
doesn't have to pay the Grimaldis a thing,

842
00:34:02,023 --> 00:34:04,119
and you get your divorce in the process.

843
00:34:04,187 --> 00:34:06,491
Even you can't pull that
rabbit out of your hat.

844
00:34:08,020 --> 00:34:10,180
I was Gossip Girl for two months.

845
00:34:10,308 --> 00:34:12,707
You have no idea the dirt I have on people.

846
00:34:13,421 --> 00:34:15,550
I've been so good for so long,

847
00:34:15,904 --> 00:34:17,628
it's time for me to be bad.

848
00:34:17,923 --> 00:34:19,243
I can help you.

849
00:34:19,244 --> 00:34:21,324
Let me solve all your problems.

850
00:34:30,424 --> 00:34:31,577
Fine.

851
00:34:31,745 --> 00:34:33,045
Anything to be done with this.

852
00:34:33,046 --> 00:34:34,593
Do what you can, and if you succeed,

853
00:34:34,594 --> 00:34:37,468
then I'll enjoy whatever
horror you concoct.

854
00:34:37,664 --> 00:34:40,017
Believe me, I won't let you down,

855
00:34:40,018 --> 00:34:42,740
and you won't let me down,
either, when I come back.

856
00:34:56,975 --> 00:34:58,367
Charles.

857
00:34:58,949 --> 00:35:01,036
Lily, I'm sorry for your loss.

858
00:35:01,037 --> 00:35:04,280
Oh. Tough day, as they say.

859
00:35:05,059 --> 00:35:05,871
For you, too?

860
00:35:05,872 --> 00:35:09,508
Oh, no, I wouldn't dream
of adding to your burden.

861
00:35:09,588 --> 00:35:11,379
Oh, come on. You never have.

862
00:35:11,786 --> 00:35:13,532
It would be a good distraction.

863
00:35:14,145 --> 00:35:15,324
What's wrong?

864
00:35:15,516 --> 00:35:18,787
Blair. She walked away from me today,

865
00:35:18,788 --> 00:35:21,460
and not like she has done in the past.

866
00:35:22,043 --> 00:35:23,259
It was different.

867
00:35:24,595 --> 00:35:26,323
I feel like she's changing.

868
00:35:29,919 --> 00:35:31,539
I know I didn't die in the car accident,

869
00:35:31,540 --> 00:35:33,539
but sometimes it feels like I did.

870
00:35:33,597 --> 00:35:36,855
Don't say that.
You survived, and it was a miracle.

871
00:35:36,856 --> 00:35:37,959
Yeah.

872
00:35:38,279 --> 00:35:39,710
Thanks to Saint Waldorf.

873
00:35:39,711 --> 00:35:41,779
You mean thanks to Saint Jack.

874
00:35:43,699 --> 00:35:45,372
The doctors didn't tell you?

875
00:35:46,308 --> 00:35:48,980
Oh, it's all such a blur now. Um...

876
00:35:50,551 --> 00:35:52,994
When you were in surgery,
there was a complication,

877
00:35:52,995 --> 00:35:56,869
and they needed a family member
for a blood transfusion,

878
00:35:57,040 --> 00:35:59,280
and I gave the doctors Jack's number.

879
00:35:59,378 --> 00:36:00,654
Jack?

880
00:36:01,207 --> 00:36:02,343
Yes.

881
00:36:06,395 --> 00:36:07,814
You haven't lived until you've tried

882
00:36:07,815 --> 00:36:09,654
caramel mousse and chocolate.

883
00:36:10,236 --> 00:36:12,666
Are you just gonna ply me
with sweets until I cheer up?

884
00:36:12,667 --> 00:36:14,471
Because I think I'll
probably go into sugar shock

885
00:36:14,472 --> 00:36:15,787
before that happens.

886
00:36:15,788 --> 00:36:17,338
I am so sorry. I mean, truly.

887
00:36:17,339 --> 00:36:20,679
No, don't be.
You're about the only good thing

888
00:36:20,680 --> 00:36:22,040
in my life right now.

889
00:36:25,911 --> 00:36:27,831
Sorry. Hello?

890
00:36:27,832 --> 00:36:30,392
Lola. It's William Van Der Woodsen.

891
00:36:30,732 --> 00:36:31,534
Hey.

892
00:36:31,535 --> 00:36:32,699
Sorry to bother you.

893
00:36:32,700 --> 00:36:35,268
I just felt badly we weren't
able to finish our conversation,

894
00:36:35,269 --> 00:36:37,908
so I asked Serena for your phone number.

895
00:36:37,957 --> 00:36:41,079
Oh, no. You know, today
was a lot for everybody,

896
00:36:41,080 --> 00:36:43,895
so... no apology necessary.

897
00:36:43,968 --> 00:36:46,362
Well, I'm at the Empire if
you need to reach me, okay?

898
00:36:46,363 --> 00:36:49,484
Okay. Great. Yeah.
I'll call you then, I guess.

899
00:36:50,405 --> 00:36:51,636
Bye.

900
00:37:00,328 --> 00:37:01,594
So after all that,

901
00:37:01,595 --> 00:37:04,459
you're really just giving up "Gossip Girl"?

902
00:37:04,460 --> 00:37:06,242
Well, with Chuck and Blair beholden to me,

903
00:37:06,243 --> 00:37:07,892
I'm more powerful than ever.

904
00:37:08,055 --> 00:37:10,190
It's time to pass the "Gossip Girl" baton.

905
00:37:10,191 --> 00:37:12,542
Let someone else see if
they can outshine me,

906
00:37:12,643 --> 00:37:14,547
or at the very least, die trying.

907
00:37:14,691 --> 00:37:17,875
Now be a doll and send this for me.

908
00:37:19,392 --> 00:37:21,578
My flight to Monaco is in two hours,

909
00:37:21,579 --> 00:37:23,323
and be very careful with this.

910
00:37:23,404 --> 00:37:26,460
There's stuff on this laptop
that'll blow people's minds.

911
00:37:27,644 --> 00:37:29,195
Bring back pictures.

912
00:37:29,810 --> 00:37:31,187
Don't you worry.

913
00:37:36,451 --> 00:37:37,759
Bye.

914
00:37:40,750 --> 00:37:43,596
Finally, some peace and quiet.

915
00:37:45,368 --> 00:37:46,680
I'm sorry.

916
00:37:47,502 --> 00:37:49,328
Am I interrupting something?

917
00:37:51,106 --> 00:37:53,735
Yes, you are.
It's been a long day for everyone.

918
00:37:53,736 --> 00:37:55,251
I think it'd be best if you left.

919
00:37:55,252 --> 00:37:57,448
I was just gonna say the same thing...

920
00:37:57,449 --> 00:37:59,068
But to the two of you.

921
00:38:00,275 --> 00:38:01,603
What are you talking about?

922
00:38:06,035 --> 00:38:08,100
This is my apartment now.

923
00:38:09,939 --> 00:38:11,533
That's ridiculous.

924
00:38:11,534 --> 00:38:14,076
You think we're just
gonna let you live here.

925
00:38:14,935 --> 00:38:17,414
This all just needs to get sorted out.

926
00:38:17,451 --> 00:38:18,795
Naturally.

927
00:38:18,999 --> 00:38:21,607
But you'll have to do
it from someplace else.

928
00:38:21,707 --> 00:38:23,784
Oh, and where are we supposed to go?

929
00:38:23,785 --> 00:38:25,930
It's not like we have another
apartment in the city. It's--

930
00:38:25,931 --> 00:38:26,932
Yes, we do, Lil.

931
00:38:26,933 --> 00:38:27,586
Oh.

932
00:38:27,587 --> 00:38:28,708
Come on.

933
00:38:35,943 --> 00:38:37,943
I'll just get my things.

934
00:38:55,335 --> 00:38:58,483
Oh, Ms. Serena. I tidy up later.

935
00:38:58,484 --> 00:38:59,971
No, it's okay.

936
00:39:02,735 --> 00:39:05,103
It was beautiful wake for Ms. Cece.

937
00:39:06,403 --> 00:39:08,213
Good-byes never easy.

938
00:39:08,767 --> 00:39:11,584
Yeah, I know, but that's all
I seem to say these days--

939
00:39:11,888 --> 00:39:15,792
to my grandma, to jobs,
to boys, to everything.

940
00:39:16,231 --> 00:39:18,280
I'm just sick of good-byes.

941
00:39:19,447 --> 00:39:21,623
Something new arrive soon.

942
00:39:23,668 --> 00:39:25,090
It always does.

943
00:39:26,123 --> 00:39:27,595
I hope so.

944
00:39:28,259 --> 00:39:30,404
I'm ready for it, whatever it is.

945
00:39:45,128 --> 00:39:47,271
Attention, Upper East Siders.

946
00:39:47,332 --> 00:39:49,710
After everything that happened today,

947
00:39:49,711 --> 00:39:51,918
I've decided I need a little break

948
00:39:51,919 --> 00:39:53,507
to catch my breath.

949
00:39:53,508 --> 00:39:55,460
I'm sure you do, too.

950
00:39:56,124 --> 00:39:58,706
But don't worry. I'll be back.

951
00:39:58,707 --> 00:40:00,340
I always am.

952
00:40:00,365 --> 00:40:10,565
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