1
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Gossip Girl here--

2
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your one and only source

3
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into the scandalous lives
of Manhattan's elite.

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You shouldn't have sent that
video in to "Gossip Girl."

5
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I didn't do it.

6
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If you didn't do it and I didn't,

7
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then who did?

8
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Of course I love you, Chuck.
I've always loved you.

9
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Humphrey, you bastard.

10
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You and your family will quite
literally pay the consequences.

11
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Or did you forget about the dowry?

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If she defaults on the marriage,
the dowry can be reinstated.

13
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You do not have to go with them.

14
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It's just a year.
It's not that long, right?

15
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This is Estee, A.K.A., my royal minder,

16
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but I've just been calling
her "Creeper" for short.

17
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I do have feelings for Dan. I'm sorry.

18
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This isn't gonna be easy for me,

19
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but at least you're being honest.

20
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I don't want to get in
the way of you and Dan.

21
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I think we need to get her to the hospital.

22
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Please stay with me.

23
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You're the only person I feel safe with.

24
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I won't leave you. I promise.

25
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Oh! Mother?

26
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Charlie, what are you doing here?

27
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She's been with Ms. Rhodes for months.

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She's been such a solace to her.

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Mom?

30
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Why did you introduce this
girl as your daughter?

31
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Who is she?
Ivy Dickens.

32
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Your mom hired me to be you.

33
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You hid an entire family from me for money?

34
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I don't really wanna be alone.
Can I stay with you?

35
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There's nothing we can do.

36
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You need to go in and say your good-byes.

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Sync by YYeTs.net
Corrected by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com

38
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They say we should carry
our secrets to the grave.

39
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But on the Upper East Side,

40
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secrets are the one thing
you can never bury.

41
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Even when we think we know
everything about the ones we love,

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Mrs. Humphrey, in my business,
there's rarely advance warning.

45
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Oh, of course. I just wanted to make sure

46
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all of mother's funeral
arrangements were perfect.

47
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She was very particular,
liked things a certain way.

48
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Um, would it be possible

49
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for us to work with our own florist?

50
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Oh. I'm... sorry.

51
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I thought you knew.

52
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Your mother provided very
detailed instructions.

53
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In fact, if you return
home right about now,

54
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I think you'll discover the
wake is already underway.

55
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Well, I can hear my mother
laughing from beyond the grave.

56
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I'm sure she just didn't want to bother you

57
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with making all the arrangements.

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Or she just didn't trust your taste level.

59
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Oh.

60
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I'm the other daughter, Carol.

61
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Crashing as usual.

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Well, since you're here,
you might want to know

63
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that it seems mother took care
of everything in advance.

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I'd tell you to invite your daughter--

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the real one, not the fake one--

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but she's not speaking to you.

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Well, if you'll excuse me, I
apparently have a wake to host.

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Aren't you gonna be late for work?

69
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Or you pulling a "Vanilla Sky"

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and hiding your hideous disfigurement

71
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from your global publishing empire?

72
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What? I thought you found my
lacrosse injury sexy. No?

73
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Besides, I figured we could
spend the day together

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and catch up.

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Uh-oh. No. No.

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Don't give me that "Let's talk
about our feelings" face.

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What? This is normal face. Okay?

78
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No, I'm worried about you.
In the past 72 hours,

79
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you found out that you have
this entire secret family.

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Yeah, and my mom hired an
actress I know to play me.

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I'm aware.

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Then why haven't you said a word about it?

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I may not have known about
the Van Der Woodsens

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for the last 19 years, but
they sure knew about me.

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And they didn't care,

86
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so that pretty much tells me
everything I need to know

87
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about your fancy friends
from the Upper East Side.

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Now buy a girl some breakfast?

89
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All right. Two minutes.

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Get dressed. I'll make coffee.

91
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Hey. How you holding up?

92
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Well, the past few days have
been tough on everyone.

93
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But I-I have a question. Are you with Lola?

94
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She hasn't been answering
any of my calls or texts.

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Ahh. Yeah. She's...

96
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Not really that interested
in being a Rhodes right now.

97
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Well, trust me, I know what it's like

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to want distance from your
family more than anyone.

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But I thought maybe with Cece's
death, she'd make an exception.

100
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Well, I'm not so sure.

101
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The entire Van Der Woodsen
clan on a good day

102
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can be pretty overwhelming.

103
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Well, I have an idea. Maybe...
you know, maybe she can

104
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just dip her toes in the
water with just me?

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I'm at my mom's right now.
No one else is here.

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They'll be at the funeral home for a while.

107
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Maybe the three of us can meet up.

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I mean, I'll ask her.
I just can't promise you anything.

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Thank you, Nate.

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Coffee?

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Top drawer.

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It relaxes me to watch Anita Dust.

113
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I did not need to know that.

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What's got you in such a good mood?

115
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I recently found out

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who actually sent "Gossip Girl"

117
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the now-infamous video of me and Blair

118
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at the royal wedding-- that hump, Humphrey.

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What, Dan?

120
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He was only too happy to let
Serena and me take the fall

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so he could worm his way
into Blair's broken heart.

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Unfortunately for him, when
she finds out the truth,

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his chances with her will be destroyed,

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and she will be mine again.

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I don't know, Chuck. Are you sure

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you want to start World
War Waldorf right now?

127
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Why wouldn't I?

128
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'Cause you and I both know

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that nothing can actually
happen between Dan and Blair

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for at least a year.

131
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So... a lot can change in 12 months.

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Take the high road.

133
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Grab your coat. I'm kidnapping you

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and taking you to a bona
fide Humphrey brunch.

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Psst!

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Ah. Bien sur. Merci. Nous parlerons demain.

137
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So for those of us who took Italian,

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what was that all about?

139
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That was Cyrus and another
attorney at his firm.

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They think they may have found
a loophole in my prenup.

141
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Are you serious?

142
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Yes. Apparently, since
we signed it in Monaco

143
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but got married in the U.S.--

144
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You can contest it.

145
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Oh, we can try.

146
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Cyrus thinks the Grimaldis
may have to grant me

147
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an amicable annulment,

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meaning that they'd waive my dowry...

149
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And you wouldn't have
to wait the year for...

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Anything.

151
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When will Cyrus know for sure?

152
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Well, he's supposed to talk

153
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to the Grimaldis' royal
attorney in an hour,

154
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so rain check on that waffle?
I should wait here...

155
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Hopefully for the last time.

156
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No.

157
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Delete. Delete.

158
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What are you doing?

159
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Trying to help.

160
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No, you're not.

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If you were, you wouldn't let me
slave in front of this computer

162
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all day as Gossip Girl.

163
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Well, I thought you said
knowing everyone's secrets

164
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as Gossip Girl was your dream come true.

165
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It was, until I realized
how much work it is.

166
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I mean, look at me.
I'm exhausted and aggravated.

167
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I have no social life to speak of.

168
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I feel like a stay-at-home mom.

169
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Oh, honey, don't say that.

170
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It's true. I mean, all my
life I've been the one

171
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that they write stories
about, and now I'm just

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another anonymous shut-in with
an online shopping addiction.

173
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Tell me, what can I do?

174
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Well...

175
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Since you asked, Georgina
Sparks needs a recharge,

176
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so I've decided to take
a mental health day,

177
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and I've found the perfect event to crash--

178
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Cece Rhodes' secret wake.

179
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What about "Gossip Girl"?
The site can't go down all day.

180
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It won't.

181
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That's why I'm leaving you in charge.

182
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Don't worry. It's not rocket science.

183
00:07:36,331 --> 00:07:38,231
You just take the tips that people send in

184
00:07:38,232 --> 00:07:40,290
and post them if they're worthy.

185
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Are you sure this is such a good idea?

186
00:07:43,213 --> 00:07:45,825
Aw, what's a Van Der Woodsen family event

187
00:07:45,826 --> 00:07:47,409
if I'm not there to ruin it?

188
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Besides, I already promised a new friend

189
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I'd be her plus one.

190
00:07:51,597 --> 00:07:53,758
Thank you for coming with me.

191
00:07:54,014 --> 00:07:56,505
I know I was invited, but, uh,

192
00:07:56,506 --> 00:07:58,988
I don't think I could face them all alone.

193
00:07:58,989 --> 00:08:01,887
I understand.
When everybody at a party hates you,

194
00:08:01,888 --> 00:08:04,433
who better to bring than
someone they hate even more?

195
00:08:11,243 --> 00:08:12,232
What are you doing down here?

196
00:08:12,233 --> 00:08:13,921
I thought there was a family
breakfast this morning.

197
00:08:13,922 --> 00:08:16,430
Oh, there's a lot more than
that going on upstairs.

198
00:08:16,431 --> 00:08:17,693
I just came down to warn my mom.

199
00:08:17,694 --> 00:08:18,969
You'll see for yourself.

200
00:08:18,970 --> 00:08:20,677
Is Blair's houseboy up there?

201
00:08:20,678 --> 00:08:21,891
You mean Dan?

202
00:08:21,892 --> 00:08:22,787
Is that why you came by--

203
00:08:22,788 --> 00:08:25,506
to get intel on him and Blair,
torture him a little?

204
00:08:25,507 --> 00:08:26,859
Maybe just a little.

205
00:08:26,860 --> 00:08:29,274
Well, he's not here. At least, not yet.

206
00:08:29,275 --> 00:08:31,544
But, um, here's some intel for you.

207
00:08:31,545 --> 00:08:32,592
Blair just texted me

208
00:08:32,593 --> 00:08:34,984
that Cyrus may have found
a loophole in her prenup,

209
00:08:34,985 --> 00:08:37,567
so she may be released sooner
than any of us thought.

210
00:08:39,751 --> 00:08:41,776
And right into Dan's waiting arms.

211
00:08:41,777 --> 00:08:43,350
If you'll excuse me.

212
00:08:51,251 --> 00:08:52,881
So what do you wanna do for breakfast?

213
00:08:52,882 --> 00:08:54,779
Oh, I was thinking
Untitled at the Whitney--

214
00:08:54,780 --> 00:08:56,251
Danny Meyer's new place?

215
00:08:56,252 --> 00:08:58,459
Oh, you're trying to score
a cool point, aren't you?

216
00:08:58,460 --> 00:09:00,433
And since we'll be on Madison anyway...

217
00:09:00,434 --> 00:09:01,944
Oh, here it comes.

218
00:09:01,945 --> 00:09:04,270
Well, we'll be walking
right by Serena's mom's,

219
00:09:04,271 --> 00:09:06,799
which Serena will be at
by herself, I might add.

220
00:09:06,800 --> 00:09:09,178
Nate, what part of wanting nothing to do

221
00:09:09,179 --> 00:09:11,112
with the Van Der Woodsens
don't you understand?

222
00:09:11,113 --> 00:09:12,730
Look, I know how you feel about them,

223
00:09:12,731 --> 00:09:14,231
but not everything from the Upper East Side

224
00:09:14,232 --> 00:09:15,748
is automatically bad.

225
00:09:15,749 --> 00:09:17,525
Okay. Name one thing that isn't.

226
00:09:17,526 --> 00:09:19,043
Me. Come on.

227
00:09:19,044 --> 00:09:21,378
Serena's one of my best friends, okay?

228
00:09:21,379 --> 00:09:23,445
You haven't even given her one shot.
What's the harm?

229
00:09:24,672 --> 00:09:26,706
All right, but if we stop by,

230
00:09:26,707 --> 00:09:27,492
you have to promise me

231
00:09:27,493 --> 00:09:29,550
that you're never gonna play
me like this again, okay?

232
00:09:29,551 --> 00:09:30,765
I promise.

233
00:09:35,723 --> 00:09:39,098
Mom, you knew grandma always did
like to do things her own way.

234
00:09:39,099 --> 00:09:41,699
I know. I'm just not entirely
sure I'm in the mood

235
00:09:41,700 --> 00:09:43,962
for the "Mayflower"
mausoleum in mother's honor

236
00:09:43,963 --> 00:09:46,067
that obviously awaits us upstairs.

237
00:09:51,792 --> 00:09:53,016
Oh, my God.

238
00:10:00,042 --> 00:10:01,941
It was all here when I got home.

239
00:10:02,985 --> 00:10:04,999
There's whiskey and stew...

240
00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:06,438
And mother.

241
00:10:06,717 --> 00:10:08,197
And those are our mourners' chairs

242
00:10:08,198 --> 00:10:12,217
where we will sit and mourn
because this is an Irish wake.

243
00:10:12,218 --> 00:10:15,803
Looks like this wake might end
up being the wake-up call

244
00:10:15,804 --> 00:10:18,028
you so desperately need.

245
00:10:24,063 --> 00:10:25,418
Copy...

246
00:10:29,645 --> 00:10:30,863
Paste...

247
00:10:34,681 --> 00:10:35,410
Post.

248
00:10:43,985 --> 00:10:44,646
Oh, no.

249
00:10:49,478 --> 00:10:50,492
Oh, crap.

250
00:11:01,796 --> 00:11:04,274
I just can't believe that
this was mother's idea.

251
00:11:04,275 --> 00:11:07,167
And who are these people?
I don't recognize a soul.

252
00:11:07,168 --> 00:11:09,559
Well, I guess Cece wanted
us to celebrate her life

253
00:11:09,560 --> 00:11:11,311
and not mourn her death,
so she didn't invite

254
00:11:11,312 --> 00:11:13,528
any of her stodgy socialites, just the...

255
00:11:13,529 --> 00:11:14,747
the help.

256
00:11:15,012 --> 00:11:17,732
That--that--that was her
butcher from East Hampton,

257
00:11:17,733 --> 00:11:19,068
and her driver.

258
00:11:19,069 --> 00:11:20,660
And the fireman that saved her life

259
00:11:20,661 --> 00:11:22,306
the night she left the candle burning.

260
00:11:22,695 --> 00:11:23,698
Hi.

261
00:11:25,204 --> 00:11:27,358
You. What are you doing here?

262
00:11:27,359 --> 00:11:29,881
I was invited by your mother herself.

263
00:11:30,092 --> 00:11:31,539
I promised her I'd come.

264
00:11:31,917 --> 00:11:35,033
I just came to pay my respects.
I won't bother anybody.

265
00:11:36,291 --> 00:11:38,185
This is all Carol's fault.

266
00:11:38,375 --> 00:11:40,438
Yeah, I'm sure she's hiding here somewhere.

267
00:11:40,978 --> 00:11:43,167
You can't let Carol get to you like this.

268
00:11:43,687 --> 00:11:45,863
The executor of the estate
is supposed to be coming,

269
00:11:45,864 --> 00:11:46,846
whoever that is.

270
00:11:46,847 --> 00:11:48,845
My money is on Elias the gardener.

271
00:11:48,846 --> 00:11:50,702
And I'm sure everything will be explained

272
00:11:50,703 --> 00:11:52,167
once they read the will.

273
00:11:52,168 --> 00:11:54,432
Well, whoever it is, they'd
better get here soon,

274
00:11:54,433 --> 00:11:56,617
because I'm not responsible
for what I might do.

275
00:12:03,228 --> 00:12:04,674
So Serena's here alone, huh?

276
00:12:04,675 --> 00:12:07,225
I swear I had no idea what
we were walking into.

277
00:12:07,226 --> 00:12:08,997
So this is an epic fail.

278
00:12:08,998 --> 00:12:10,644
Yeah, let's just go,
before someone sees us.

279
00:12:10,645 --> 00:12:13,795
Lola. May I have a word?

280
00:12:16,894 --> 00:12:19,261
Of course this is happening.
What is it, mother?

281
00:12:19,262 --> 00:12:22,355
Do you mind telling me
what you're doing here?

282
00:12:22,356 --> 00:12:23,721
Oh, yeah, well, let's see.

283
00:12:23,722 --> 00:12:27,133
Um, this morning, while I was
in the shower at Nate's,

284
00:12:27,134 --> 00:12:29,633
Serena, the cousin I just found out about,

285
00:12:29,634 --> 00:12:31,733
tricked me into coming to
the wake of the grandmother

286
00:12:31,734 --> 00:12:33,874
that I never knew existed
at the house of the family

287
00:12:33,875 --> 00:12:35,758
that you hid from me for my entire life.

288
00:12:35,759 --> 00:12:37,266
Does that sum it up for you enough?

289
00:12:37,267 --> 00:12:38,929
I know you blame me for everything,

290
00:12:38,930 --> 00:12:40,996
but I only lied to you because

291
00:12:40,997 --> 00:12:42,914
we're not safe around these people.

292
00:12:42,915 --> 00:12:44,712
They're materialistic monsters.

293
00:12:44,713 --> 00:12:47,141
Oh, says the woman who looted
her own daughter's trust fund.

294
00:12:47,142 --> 00:12:48,534
That money was for you.

295
00:12:48,535 --> 00:12:50,972
You cannot believe a word these people say.

296
00:12:51,217 --> 00:12:53,781
Mom, the only person here
who's ever lied to me is you.

297
00:12:55,411 --> 00:12:58,169
Hey. I know this place is crazy,
but I'm really glad you came.

298
00:12:59,273 --> 00:13:00,552
I was just about to call you.

299
00:13:00,553 --> 00:13:02,372
I know. I screwed up.

300
00:13:02,373 --> 00:13:04,435
Yes, you did. Who knows if anyone

301
00:13:04,436 --> 00:13:06,071
will send in another tip ever?

302
00:13:06,072 --> 00:13:08,414
Luckily for you, I'm in
the eye of the hurricane.

303
00:13:08,415 --> 00:13:10,425
So I can watch your mess play out,

304
00:13:10,426 --> 00:13:13,210
and if this is my last day as
Gossip Girl thanks to you,

305
00:13:13,211 --> 00:13:14,791
I'm going out with a bang.

306
00:13:16,108 --> 00:13:19,272
Dan, I'm so sorry for your loss.

307
00:13:19,744 --> 00:13:21,105
Hey, Dennis.

308
00:13:22,232 --> 00:13:23,680
Georgina, I would ask you
what you're doing here

309
00:13:23,681 --> 00:13:25,567
if I cared, which I don't, so...

310
00:13:25,922 --> 00:13:27,353
I was just wondering if you had the chance

311
00:13:27,354 --> 00:13:29,008
to check "Gossip Girl" recently.

312
00:13:29,009 --> 00:13:30,612
No. Why?

313
00:13:30,613 --> 00:13:32,597
I know I promised I'd never publicly reveal

314
00:13:32,598 --> 00:13:33,845
that little video secret of yours,

315
00:13:33,846 --> 00:13:35,467
but unfortunately, I left Philip in charge.

316
00:13:35,468 --> 00:13:37,548
So... lesson learned. Okay. Bye.

317
00:13:40,686 --> 00:13:43,359
Oh, "G.G.--It's time you told everyone

318
00:13:43,360 --> 00:13:46,839
Dan Humphrey sent in that video
on Blair's wedding day."

319
00:13:46,840 --> 00:13:50,279
Philip is rich, not bright.
I'm sorry, but keep reading.

320
00:13:50,280 --> 00:13:52,880
Oh, my God.
This was-- this was sent in by...

321
00:13:53,152 --> 00:13:54,371
How dare you?

322
00:13:54,372 --> 00:13:57,149
Of all your many, many
attempts at sabotage,

323
00:13:57,150 --> 00:13:58,977
this is by far the most pathetic.

324
00:13:58,978 --> 00:14:01,777
Are you so worried that I'll
find happiness without you

325
00:14:01,778 --> 00:14:04,024
that you feel the need
to spread baseless lies

326
00:14:04,025 --> 00:14:05,806
at the wake of my best
friend's grandmother?

327
00:14:05,807 --> 00:14:07,583
While you may be correct about my motives,

328
00:14:07,584 --> 00:14:09,327
the blast is anything but a lie.

329
00:14:09,779 --> 00:14:11,670
You know Serena and I
didn't send the video,

330
00:14:11,671 --> 00:14:13,972
and it certainly wasn't
Louis, so who's left?

331
00:14:13,973 --> 00:14:15,712
I'm not playing this game.

332
00:14:16,172 --> 00:14:18,182
Why don't you tell that to
your boyfriend over there?

333
00:14:18,183 --> 00:14:19,785
Or even better, ask him the truth.

334
00:14:38,840 --> 00:14:40,021
Blair, please wait.

335
00:14:40,116 --> 00:14:41,090
I have nothing to say to you.

336
00:14:41,091 --> 00:14:42,467
I am so sorry I lied.

337
00:14:42,468 --> 00:14:44,133
You didn't just lie, Humphrey.

338
00:14:44,134 --> 00:14:45,743
You let me blame my best friend and my ex

339
00:14:45,744 --> 00:14:47,064
for something they didn't do.

340
00:14:47,065 --> 00:14:49,714
You embarrassed me in front of
400 guests at my own wedding.

341
00:14:49,715 --> 00:14:52,225
You made me the target of
tabloids and T.S.A. agents,

342
00:14:52,226 --> 00:14:54,800
not to mention, you helped lock
the bars of my gilded cage.

343
00:14:54,801 --> 00:14:55,951
Am I forgetting anything?

344
00:14:55,952 --> 00:14:57,219
I should have told you
the truth right away,

345
00:14:57,220 --> 00:14:59,278
but I swear, I never meant to hurt you.

346
00:14:59,279 --> 00:15:01,453
Then what other reason could you
have had to send in that video?

347
00:15:01,454 --> 00:15:03,587
I spent every day leading up to the wedding

348
00:15:03,588 --> 00:15:05,377
listening to you say you had to marry Louis

349
00:15:05,378 --> 00:15:06,702
even though you didn't love him.

350
00:15:06,703 --> 00:15:08,690
I couldn't stand to see you so unhappy.

351
00:15:09,269 --> 00:15:10,830
I only thought it would stop the wedding.

352
00:15:10,831 --> 00:15:12,812
I never thought you would leave it with me.

353
00:15:12,813 --> 00:15:15,288
And us fighting like this is exactly what

354
00:15:15,289 --> 00:15:16,762
that Bass-face wanted.

355
00:15:16,763 --> 00:15:18,861
But since Cyrus thinks
everything will work out

356
00:15:18,862 --> 00:15:19,709
with the annulment...

357
00:15:19,710 --> 00:15:21,082
What can I do? Is there anything?

358
00:15:21,083 --> 00:15:22,106
Just say the word, and I will--

359
00:15:22,107 --> 00:15:24,145
Just shut up, Humphrey.

360
00:15:24,740 --> 00:15:26,730
I forgive you... for now.

361
00:15:28,370 --> 00:15:29,495
Estee?

362
00:15:30,102 --> 00:15:32,435
Did you follow me?
I thought we weren't meeting till 4:00.

363
00:15:32,436 --> 00:15:35,043
Yes, after Cyrus tried to
trick the royal attorney

364
00:15:35,044 --> 00:15:36,521
into voiding your prenup.

365
00:15:37,158 --> 00:15:38,278
I know everything.

366
00:15:39,001 --> 00:15:41,016
Uh... follow me.

367
00:15:44,645 --> 00:15:46,928
Looks like Blair's annulment
just got annulled.

368
00:15:46,929 --> 00:15:49,443
Shame. You were so close, too.

369
00:15:51,293 --> 00:15:52,123
Let me assure you,

370
00:15:52,124 --> 00:15:54,202
your stepfather's plan will never work.

371
00:15:54,203 --> 00:15:55,907
You slimy little limey.

372
00:15:55,908 --> 00:15:57,199
I do not respond well to threats,

373
00:15:57,200 --> 00:15:58,407
and neither does Cyrus Rose.

374
00:15:58,408 --> 00:15:59,362
He fought in 'Nam.

375
00:15:59,363 --> 00:16:00,412
You didn't let me finish.

376
00:16:00,413 --> 00:16:03,314
His plan might not work, but mine can.

377
00:16:03,315 --> 00:16:04,733
We can help each other, you and I.

378
00:16:04,734 --> 00:16:05,733
Go on.

379
00:16:05,734 --> 00:16:08,520
You don't want Louis.
That's clear. But I do.

380
00:16:09,038 --> 00:16:11,169
The prince and I... we're very close.

381
00:16:11,170 --> 00:16:12,748
We grew up together, but my station

382
00:16:12,749 --> 00:16:14,660
always prevented me from
being a suitable choice

383
00:16:14,661 --> 00:16:16,385
for Her Serene Highness, at least--

384
00:16:16,386 --> 00:16:17,608
Until I came along.

385
00:16:17,609 --> 00:16:18,376
Precisely.

386
00:16:18,377 --> 00:16:20,114
You're a public relations disaster.

387
00:16:20,115 --> 00:16:21,745
Next to your Sarah Ferguson's swan dive,

388
00:16:21,746 --> 00:16:23,054
I'm Kate bloody Middleton.

389
00:16:23,055 --> 00:16:25,343
So you think the Grimaldis will welcome

390
00:16:25,344 --> 00:16:27,278
Louis' loyal-and-loving social secretary

391
00:16:27,279 --> 00:16:28,172
as a replacement?

392
00:16:28,173 --> 00:16:29,412
I know Louis would.

393
00:16:30,503 --> 00:16:31,585
Sorry.

394
00:16:32,031 --> 00:16:35,935
No, no, it's fine.
Oddly enough, I just want him to be happy.

395
00:16:35,936 --> 00:16:37,569
Then this is worth a shot, isn't it?

396
00:16:37,570 --> 00:16:38,789
You have nothing to lose.

397
00:16:40,852 --> 00:16:41,877
Make the call.

398
00:16:41,878 --> 00:16:43,886
So that's the tour.
Thank you for coming by,

399
00:16:43,887 --> 00:16:45,529
or at least letting me
trick you into coming by.

400
00:16:45,530 --> 00:16:47,329
I assure you, Nate had no idea.

401
00:16:47,330 --> 00:16:49,615
Well, actually, he said we
were going to a museum,

402
00:16:49,616 --> 00:16:51,287
so he wasn't that far off.

403
00:16:51,730 --> 00:16:53,349
Look, I know what your mom thinks about us,

404
00:16:53,350 --> 00:16:54,552
you know, how all we care about is money--

405
00:16:54,553 --> 00:16:55,636
and the things you can buy.

406
00:16:55,637 --> 00:16:57,212
But that couldn't be
further from the truth.

407
00:16:57,213 --> 00:16:59,069
Family is what's most important to us,

408
00:16:59,070 --> 00:17:00,488
and to prove that to you, I have two people

409
00:17:00,489 --> 00:17:02,225
who are gonna be so excited to see you.

410
00:17:02,544 --> 00:17:05,004
- Mom--
- You told me mother sold the Limoges,

411
00:17:05,005 --> 00:17:06,440
and don't think I didn't notice

412
00:17:06,441 --> 00:17:08,802
her Georg Jensen service here, either.

413
00:17:08,803 --> 00:17:11,959
Tell Laryssa to count
the silver right away.

414
00:17:16,707 --> 00:17:18,597
I really appreciate everything
you're trying to do,

415
00:17:18,598 --> 00:17:20,984
but, um... I'm just not part of this world,

416
00:17:20,985 --> 00:17:22,833
and I don't really think
I wanna be, either,

417
00:17:22,834 --> 00:17:24,962
so just tell Nate I had to go.

418
00:17:27,645 --> 00:17:28,865
Oh, Lola.

419
00:17:29,407 --> 00:17:31,199
I wasn't expecting to see you here.

420
00:17:31,200 --> 00:17:32,205
Why?

421
00:17:32,206 --> 00:17:33,303
Even if I don't wanna be here,

422
00:17:33,304 --> 00:17:34,763
I have more of a reason than you do.

423
00:17:35,457 --> 00:17:36,769
Look, I know this sounds ridiculous,

424
00:17:36,770 --> 00:17:38,842
but the Van Der Woodsens are
the closest thing I have

425
00:17:38,843 --> 00:17:40,363
to an actual family.

426
00:17:40,930 --> 00:17:42,077
Even though they hate me.

427
00:17:42,078 --> 00:17:43,727
Yeah, I have the opposite problem.

428
00:17:44,611 --> 00:17:46,502
Maybe my mother really was
trying to protect me.

429
00:17:46,503 --> 00:17:49,053
By stealing all your money?

430
00:17:49,461 --> 00:17:50,493
Ladies...

431
00:17:51,284 --> 00:17:53,798
On the Upper East Side, money
is never the real story.

432
00:17:53,799 --> 00:17:55,466
It's usually just the
"X" that marks the spot

433
00:17:55,467 --> 00:17:56,637
for what's buried beneath it.

434
00:17:56,638 --> 00:17:58,495
If I were you two, I'd start digging.

435
00:17:58,925 --> 00:17:59,935
What do you mean?

436
00:18:00,949 --> 00:18:02,935
I know it's hard for you,
but stop and think.

437
00:18:02,936 --> 00:18:03,995
Money doesn't explain

438
00:18:03,996 --> 00:18:06,061
why you hide your daughter for 18 years,

439
00:18:06,062 --> 00:18:07,319
unless she was being paid to do so,

440
00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:08,762
and judging by her hair and her clothes,

441
00:18:08,763 --> 00:18:10,245
I'd say that isn't so.

442
00:18:10,246 --> 00:18:11,720
You think there's something else going on?

443
00:18:12,437 --> 00:18:13,319
How do I find out?

444
00:18:13,320 --> 00:18:15,382
Well, nobody here is going to tell you.

445
00:18:15,383 --> 00:18:17,814
You have to find someone from the outside,

446
00:18:18,234 --> 00:18:19,936
somebody who isn't afraid of them.

447
00:18:19,937 --> 00:18:21,813
Somebody like...

448
00:18:23,912 --> 00:18:25,175
Dad.

449
00:18:26,078 --> 00:18:28,466
Looks like there's a doctor in the house

450
00:18:28,467 --> 00:18:31,563
who's about to get a taste
of his own medicine.

451
00:18:40,254 --> 00:18:41,557
I'm so happy you're here.

452
00:18:41,558 --> 00:18:43,131
It would have meant so much to grandma.

453
00:18:43,132 --> 00:18:44,642
I wouldn't miss this for the world.

454
00:18:45,479 --> 00:18:47,790
I'm just sorry that Eric couldn't
make it back from Zaire.

455
00:18:47,791 --> 00:18:50,841
I think they call that the
Democratic Republic of Congo now.

456
00:18:50,842 --> 00:18:53,250
They do, but trust me, it's not.

457
00:18:54,562 --> 00:18:56,940
Charlie, good to see you again.

458
00:18:56,941 --> 00:18:59,244
Oh, you're a little late
to the party, doctor.

459
00:18:59,245 --> 00:19:01,327
That isn't your niece, but this is.

460
00:19:01,794 --> 00:19:02,700
Sorry?

461
00:19:02,701 --> 00:19:04,502
What are you even doing here?

462
00:19:04,503 --> 00:19:06,859
Come on. Let's go say hi to mom.

463
00:19:07,565 --> 00:19:10,636
Daddy V-D-Dubs has known the
Rhodes sisters since high school.

464
00:19:10,939 --> 00:19:13,147
I bet he has a secret or two
he'd be willing to share

465
00:19:13,148 --> 00:19:14,538
if you ask nicely.

466
00:19:15,363 --> 00:19:18,240
Hey, Serena said you left,
but here you are with Ivy.

467
00:19:18,718 --> 00:19:19,796
Hi, Nate.

468
00:19:19,797 --> 00:19:21,966
I don't know why you're here,
but we should probably leave

469
00:19:21,967 --> 00:19:22,824
since Lola and I were just walking out--

470
00:19:22,825 --> 00:19:25,472
No, I'm gonna stay, and so is she.

471
00:19:25,473 --> 00:19:27,016
We're gonna get to the bottom of why my mom

472
00:19:27,017 --> 00:19:29,172
really kept me away all
these years, so, um,

473
00:19:29,590 --> 00:19:30,833
if you don't mind...

474
00:19:33,328 --> 00:19:34,272
Oui.

475
00:19:34,742 --> 00:19:35,637
Oui.

476
00:19:36,354 --> 00:19:37,497
Naturellement.

477
00:19:38,585 --> 00:19:39,337
Well?

478
00:19:39,338 --> 00:19:41,355
He agreed.
I need to be on the next plane back.

479
00:19:41,578 --> 00:19:43,201
I'm to be amongst the royal court tomorrow

480
00:19:43,202 --> 00:19:45,362
when the prince breaks the
news in a press conference

481
00:19:45,363 --> 00:19:48,008
about how it became clear you
were only ever after his title.

482
00:19:48,009 --> 00:19:49,104
But, uh--

483
00:19:50,323 --> 00:19:52,063
Okay. Okay. What else?

484
00:19:52,064 --> 00:19:53,603
Then the royal family's publicist

485
00:19:53,604 --> 00:19:54,773
will start to build me up,

486
00:19:54,774 --> 00:19:57,176
the woman who has watched
from the wings for decades.

487
00:19:57,177 --> 00:19:59,335
Okay, enough about you. More about me.

488
00:20:00,535 --> 00:20:02,005
Her serene highness and the prince

489
00:20:02,006 --> 00:20:03,486
are only willing to annul the marriage

490
00:20:03,487 --> 00:20:05,990
if you agree to a gag order on all matters

491
00:20:05,991 --> 00:20:07,053
regarding the dissolution.

492
00:20:07,054 --> 00:20:09,388
They can be the only ones
to speak about it publicly.

493
00:20:09,389 --> 00:20:10,528
Do you understand what that means?

494
00:20:10,529 --> 00:20:11,737
Well, I'll do whatever they say,

495
00:20:11,738 --> 00:20:13,471
as long as it gets me out of this marriage.

496
00:20:13,472 --> 00:20:15,321
A press blackout is a small price to pay

497
00:20:15,322 --> 00:20:16,256
to get my life back.

498
00:20:16,257 --> 00:20:17,879
That includes no more blind items

499
00:20:17,880 --> 00:20:19,988
on "Page Six" or posts on "Gossip Girl."

500
00:20:19,989 --> 00:20:22,305
Princess Sophie was very clear
if you don't adhere to the deal,

501
00:20:22,306 --> 00:20:23,389
they'll make you pay.

502
00:20:23,390 --> 00:20:24,950
Do whatever you want in your private life.

503
00:20:24,951 --> 00:20:26,363
Just keep it private.

504
00:20:26,722 --> 00:20:27,632
Good luck.

505
00:20:27,860 --> 00:20:29,900
I'm glad we can both get what we want.

506
00:20:29,901 --> 00:20:32,077
And please assure the
royals when you see them

507
00:20:32,078 --> 00:20:33,782
that they won't hear a peep from me.

508
00:20:40,121 --> 00:20:41,080
Beer me.

509
00:20:41,635 --> 00:20:43,535
Perhaps you'd prefer
something a little stronger.

510
00:20:43,536 --> 00:20:44,732
It's green.

511
00:20:44,733 --> 00:20:45,932
What are you so relaxed about?

512
00:20:45,933 --> 00:20:48,000
We both know that Gossip
Girl's latest hiccup

513
00:20:48,001 --> 00:20:49,785
makes you look even worse in Blair's eyes.

514
00:20:49,786 --> 00:20:53,010
Maybe today, but at least she knows

515
00:20:53,011 --> 00:20:55,701
Dan isn't the good guy he pretends to be.

516
00:20:55,702 --> 00:20:57,080
In time, that'll sink in.

517
00:20:57,628 --> 00:21:00,107
She's not getting out of this
royal mess anytime soon.

518
00:21:00,108 --> 00:21:01,760
Oh, but she just did.

519
00:21:01,761 --> 00:21:04,419
That royal minder lady
brokered the deal herself.

520
00:21:04,646 --> 00:21:06,506
Although the hint of a new scandal

521
00:21:06,507 --> 00:21:08,966
could probably derail it
if you act fast enough.

522
00:21:08,967 --> 00:21:11,449
Blair will come to her senses.

523
00:21:11,450 --> 00:21:12,832
What if she doesn't?

524
00:21:13,064 --> 00:21:14,539
What if you spend the rest of your days

525
00:21:14,540 --> 00:21:16,314
wondering why you didn't try and stop her

526
00:21:16,315 --> 00:21:17,759
from falling into the flannelled arms

527
00:21:17,760 --> 00:21:19,248
of that pretentious poseur?

528
00:21:19,639 --> 00:21:21,735
Anywho, something to think about.

529
00:21:23,595 --> 00:21:25,052
What do you have in mind?

530
00:21:27,240 --> 00:21:28,935
Remember when I showed you this?

531
00:21:33,081 --> 00:21:35,588
How can I trust Gossip Girl
wouldn't leave my fingerprints

532
00:21:35,589 --> 00:21:37,086
on another blast?

533
00:21:37,087 --> 00:21:39,627
You can't, which is why
we use her latest screwup

534
00:21:39,628 --> 00:21:42,353
to our advantage and leave
somebody else's instead.

535
00:21:42,576 --> 00:21:44,199
Oh, look. Dan's phone.

536
00:21:44,200 --> 00:21:46,886
It must have fallen out of
his coat and into my purse.

537
00:21:46,892 --> 00:21:48,943
I'm sorry, Carol, but I'm
gonna have to ask you

538
00:21:48,944 --> 00:21:50,591
to let me search your bag.

539
00:21:50,677 --> 00:21:51,851
Laryssa saw you pocket--

540
00:21:51,852 --> 00:21:54,343
Lily, this is beneath even you.

541
00:21:54,344 --> 00:21:56,505
I see some things never change--

542
00:21:56,699 --> 00:21:59,374
the maid accusing my ex
sister-in-law of stealing.

543
00:21:59,375 --> 00:22:01,135
William, what a lovely surprise.

544
00:22:01,175 --> 00:22:01,654
Hello, dear.

545
00:22:01,655 --> 00:22:03,214
Doesn't dad look great?

546
00:22:03,215 --> 00:22:04,401
And how are you, Carol?

547
00:22:04,402 --> 00:22:05,991
Under surveillance.

548
00:22:05,992 --> 00:22:08,402
Lily has been shadowing me all afternoon.

549
00:22:08,403 --> 00:22:10,086
That's because I knew you'd
try to steal something,

550
00:22:10,087 --> 00:22:11,155
and apparently you did.

551
00:22:11,156 --> 00:22:12,134
Do you see what I have to deal with,

552
00:22:12,135 --> 00:22:13,903
while my own mother lies right here?

553
00:22:13,904 --> 00:22:15,251
All right, Carol, I've had enough.

554
00:22:15,252 --> 00:22:17,161
I want you out of my apartment this minute.

555
00:22:17,162 --> 00:22:20,060
Technically, it's Cece's apartment.

556
00:22:20,192 --> 00:22:21,199
What are you talking about?

557
00:22:21,200 --> 00:22:22,554
This is our home.

558
00:22:22,555 --> 00:22:24,383
Only because your mother bought it for us.

559
00:22:24,384 --> 00:22:27,264
Remember? For tax purposes, of course.

560
00:22:28,123 --> 00:22:29,915
But now it's part of the estate.

561
00:22:30,055 --> 00:22:32,614
William, thank you again for coming.

562
00:22:32,615 --> 00:22:34,539
And I would appreciate it if
you would leave the settling

563
00:22:34,540 --> 00:22:37,450
of mother's affairs to the
executor of her estate.

564
00:22:37,834 --> 00:22:39,336
That's exactly what I'm doing.

565
00:22:39,503 --> 00:22:41,087
I am her executor.

566
00:22:42,627 --> 00:22:43,971
And I brought her will.

567
00:22:51,048 --> 00:22:53,123
Ladies, I know this must come as a shock,

568
00:22:53,124 --> 00:22:54,670
but as you well know, your mother and I

569
00:22:54,671 --> 00:22:56,605
had a long and enduring friendship.

570
00:22:56,606 --> 00:22:59,490
It's just, of all the
people for Cece to pick,

571
00:22:59,491 --> 00:23:00,890
I find it curious that she chooses

572
00:23:00,891 --> 00:23:03,050
the father of Lily's children.

573
00:23:03,051 --> 00:23:04,906
Well, she couldn't very well
have asked the father of yours.

574
00:23:04,907 --> 00:23:07,507
There aren't enough D.N.A.
tests in Dade County to find him.

575
00:23:07,508 --> 00:23:09,632
I think I'll let you two
blow off some steam.

576
00:23:09,633 --> 00:23:11,014
If you'll excuse me.

577
00:23:13,346 --> 00:23:15,891
Hi again. I'm Lola, Carol's daughter.

578
00:23:15,892 --> 00:23:16,819
The real one.

579
00:23:16,820 --> 00:23:18,102
What can I do for you?

580
00:23:18,103 --> 00:23:19,687
Well, I just recently found out

581
00:23:19,688 --> 00:23:20,870
that I'm a part of this family,

582
00:23:20,871 --> 00:23:23,078
and I was wondering why I
was never allowed to know.

583
00:23:23,079 --> 00:23:25,479
So I thought, you know,
you've known my mom longer

584
00:23:25,480 --> 00:23:27,227
than anyone aside from Lily--

585
00:23:27,228 --> 00:23:28,455
Excuse me.

586
00:23:28,456 --> 00:23:29,594
Mom, do you mind?

587
00:23:29,595 --> 00:23:31,731
Yes, actually, I do.

588
00:23:31,871 --> 00:23:33,074
You'll let me know when you need me,

589
00:23:33,075 --> 00:23:33,964
won't you, William?

590
00:23:39,448 --> 00:23:41,219
Miss Blair, I'm so sorry,

591
00:23:41,220 --> 00:23:42,627
but Ms. Estee jedi-mind-tricked me

592
00:23:42,628 --> 00:23:44,083
into telling her you at wake.

593
00:23:44,100 --> 00:23:44,952
Too many secrets lately.

594
00:23:44,953 --> 00:23:47,171
I-I feel like Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy.

595
00:23:47,172 --> 00:23:49,222
Oh, it's fine. I'm glad Estee found me.

596
00:23:49,223 --> 00:23:50,943
Everything's gonna work out perfectly now.

597
00:23:50,944 --> 00:23:52,759
That's not what Mr. Cyrus say.

598
00:23:52,760 --> 00:23:54,290
He's been trying to call you for last hour.

599
00:23:54,291 --> 00:23:55,402
Why you no answer phone?

600
00:23:55,403 --> 00:23:57,422
I put it on silent. I'm at a wake.

601
00:23:57,423 --> 00:23:59,152
And you can tell Cyrus he
doesn't need to worry.

602
00:23:59,153 --> 00:24:01,049
I took care of the annulment myself.

603
00:24:01,050 --> 00:24:04,460
Then why Grimaldis just call him
and ask for all the money now?

604
00:24:05,192 --> 00:24:07,199
Well, they agreed to waive the dowry

605
00:24:07,200 --> 00:24:09,248
as long as I completely
stayed out of the press.

606
00:24:09,703 --> 00:24:13,456
Maybe princess Sophie read
"Gossip Girl" again, then.

607
00:24:14,447 --> 00:24:17,039
"Please post A.S.A.P. Dan."

608
00:24:18,679 --> 00:24:20,705
"I, Celia Catherine Rhodes,

609
00:24:20,706 --> 00:24:22,261
of Montecito, California,

610
00:24:22,262 --> 00:24:23,979
"being of sound mind and body,

611
00:24:23,980 --> 00:24:27,307
"do hereby declare this to be
my last will and testament.

612
00:24:27,319 --> 00:24:30,879
"First, I leave my two
Andalusian thoroughbreds,

613
00:24:30,880 --> 00:24:33,920
"Rickey and Reggie Rhodes,
to the Valley Ranch stables.

614
00:24:33,979 --> 00:24:36,607
Second, I leave my Faberge
egg collection--"

615
00:24:36,608 --> 00:24:37,998
Hey, dad, wait a second.

616
00:24:37,999 --> 00:24:40,284
Sorry. I just--I don't
want her here for this.

617
00:24:43,379 --> 00:24:44,618
Is she bothering you?

618
00:24:44,619 --> 00:24:46,156
She's a con artist, William.

619
00:24:46,157 --> 00:24:47,659
And not a very good one.

620
00:24:48,039 --> 00:24:50,286
Nevertheless, your mother
invited her to be here,

621
00:24:50,287 --> 00:24:54,624
so... I would like everybody to
respect Cece's wishes, okay?

622
00:24:55,528 --> 00:24:56,620
Please.

623
00:24:57,680 --> 00:25:00,720
Now if there are no more interruptions...

624
00:25:02,110 --> 00:25:03,805
I think you dropped something.

625
00:25:05,324 --> 00:25:06,315
What...

626
00:25:09,254 --> 00:25:10,642
Are you insane? Blair's gonna think

627
00:25:10,643 --> 00:25:12,587
I actually sent this picture
in to "Gossip Girl."

628
00:25:12,603 --> 00:25:14,315
Duh. That was the point.

629
00:25:14,439 --> 00:25:16,987
We had a deal, Georgina.
You promised to protect me

630
00:25:16,988 --> 00:25:18,671
if I didn't tell anyone
you were Gossip Girl.

631
00:25:18,672 --> 00:25:21,296
Mm-hmm. I sold you out, so start talking.

632
00:25:21,772 --> 00:25:23,054
Look, I had fun being Gossip Girl,

633
00:25:23,055 --> 00:25:24,567
but I'm kind of over it.

634
00:25:24,568 --> 00:25:27,118
I'm just glad that the final
blast was my masterpiece.

635
00:25:27,119 --> 00:25:28,208
I'm sorry if it ruins your life.

636
00:25:28,209 --> 00:25:30,975
It's not just mine.
It's Blair's, the Waldorfs'.

637
00:25:30,976 --> 00:25:33,107
Oh. I know. What a mess.

638
00:25:33,108 --> 00:25:35,748
It's like I just took down
the entire Upper East Side.

639
00:25:37,309 --> 00:25:39,714
Oh. Here comes the bull's-eye.

640
00:25:39,715 --> 00:25:42,262
You Brooklyn Benedict Arnold,
I can't believe you.

641
00:25:42,263 --> 00:25:43,458
It was Georgina.

642
00:25:43,459 --> 00:25:44,806
She's Gossip Girl.

643
00:25:44,807 --> 00:25:47,058
Oh, you will really say
anything, won't you?

644
00:25:47,059 --> 00:25:48,708
Oh, no, that part's true.

645
00:25:49,460 --> 00:25:51,915
Well, half true.
I hacked into G.G.'s web site

646
00:25:51,916 --> 00:25:53,714
a few months ago when she
obviously skipped town

647
00:25:53,715 --> 00:25:56,050
and none of you noticed,
and honestly, guys,

648
00:25:56,051 --> 00:25:57,293
the experience has been wonderful,

649
00:25:57,294 --> 00:25:58,620
but it's just as well it's over now.

650
00:25:58,621 --> 00:26:00,152
Okay, could you--could you
tell her the important part?

651
00:26:00,153 --> 00:26:01,502
I didn't do this.

652
00:26:01,503 --> 00:26:03,971
How does it feel to be set up
and lose the person you love

653
00:26:03,972 --> 00:26:05,755
for something you didn't do?

654
00:26:09,036 --> 00:26:11,084
Estee! Please.

655
00:26:11,356 --> 00:26:13,124
There must be a way to
still salvage our deal

656
00:26:13,125 --> 00:26:14,150
with the Grimaldis.

657
00:26:14,151 --> 00:26:16,617
There might be... if there ever was a deal.

658
00:26:16,788 --> 00:26:18,114
I'm sorry?

659
00:26:19,282 --> 00:26:21,854
Oh? The deal thing? Estee made it all up

660
00:26:21,855 --> 00:26:22,877
with my help, of course.

661
00:26:22,878 --> 00:26:24,191
We knew once Chuck heard
you were free again,

662
00:26:24,192 --> 00:26:25,483
he'd do something foolish.

663
00:26:25,484 --> 00:26:27,894
Of course, even I didn't think
it would happen this fast.

664
00:26:27,895 --> 00:26:29,679
Anyway, I must get back to Monaco.

665
00:26:29,680 --> 00:26:32,159
I have a prince to console. Cheers.

666
00:26:32,447 --> 00:26:33,564
Hmm.

667
00:26:33,638 --> 00:26:36,103
Standing ovation? Why, thank you.

668
00:26:37,456 --> 00:26:38,394
Oh, my God.

669
00:26:38,395 --> 00:26:40,957
I was just bitch-slapped by Bridget Jones.

670
00:26:41,440 --> 00:26:43,112
You don't realize what you've done.

671
00:26:43,113 --> 00:26:45,767
Yes, I do. I've brought to
light the real villain,

672
00:26:45,768 --> 00:26:47,399
and let me give you a hint. It's not me.

673
00:26:47,400 --> 00:26:49,059
You bankrupted the Waldorf family.

674
00:26:49,060 --> 00:26:51,060
That's what paying this
dowry is gonna do to them.

675
00:26:51,740 --> 00:26:52,812
It was that much?

676
00:26:54,704 --> 00:26:58,607
No. You left me no choice.

677
00:26:58,675 --> 00:27:00,290
It would be one thing losing Blair

678
00:27:00,291 --> 00:27:01,657
because she doesn't wanna be with me,

679
00:27:01,658 --> 00:27:04,259
but I only lost her because
of something you did.

680
00:27:04,792 --> 00:27:05,983
Were you ever really my friend,

681
00:27:05,984 --> 00:27:07,134
or was it all just an act

682
00:27:07,135 --> 00:27:10,051
so you could keep me in check
until you got what you wanted?

683
00:27:10,052 --> 00:27:12,379
Chuck, that is not how any of
it happened, and you know it.

684
00:27:12,380 --> 00:27:13,868
You framed me,

685
00:27:14,111 --> 00:27:16,960
and in my book, that makes
you the bad guy, not me.

686
00:27:17,328 --> 00:27:18,655
What's going on?

687
00:27:18,983 --> 00:27:20,434
Ever since the accident,

688
00:27:20,435 --> 00:27:22,636
Dan has been trying to keep us apart

689
00:27:22,637 --> 00:27:24,612
so you can have you all to himself.

690
00:27:25,112 --> 00:27:26,843
Be honest for once in your life.

691
00:27:26,844 --> 00:27:28,907
Tell her the truth. She deserves that.

692
00:27:35,496 --> 00:27:36,872
He's absolutely right.

693
00:27:38,047 --> 00:27:39,232
I'm sorry.

694
00:27:45,860 --> 00:27:49,083
"11--I leave my collection
of early British watercolors

695
00:27:49,084 --> 00:27:50,923
to my youngest daughter, Lily."

696
00:27:50,999 --> 00:27:52,736
I'm sensing a pattern here.

697
00:27:52,737 --> 00:27:54,763
Oh, frankly, Carol, I'm
surprised it took you

698
00:27:54,764 --> 00:27:56,975
this long to realize what
mother really thought of you.

699
00:27:56,976 --> 00:27:57,870
Oh, come on, mom. We're almost done here.

700
00:27:57,871 --> 00:28:00,411
No, she knew that she
was a greedy, spoiled--

701
00:28:00,412 --> 00:28:01,966
Excuse me, Lily.

702
00:28:01,967 --> 00:28:04,250
I'm not the one who's
been married five times.

703
00:28:04,251 --> 00:28:05,021
Ladies...

704
00:28:05,022 --> 00:28:06,451
Most of which was for money.

705
00:28:06,452 --> 00:28:07,711
Excuse me--
Well, at least I didn't try

706
00:28:07,712 --> 00:28:09,588
and embezzle my own daughter's trust fund

707
00:28:09,589 --> 00:28:11,574
so I could go shopping at Lululemon.

708
00:28:11,575 --> 00:28:12,611
Okay. The truth is, the only reason

709
00:28:12,612 --> 00:28:14,285
mother left you those trinkets...
"As for the rest of my estate,

710
00:28:14,286 --> 00:28:15,706
all remaining property, artwork, antiques..

711
00:28:15,707 --> 00:28:17,394
"Stocks and bonds, bullion..."
Is because you pretended

712
00:28:17,395 --> 00:28:19,963
to love her and she pretended to love you.

713
00:28:19,964 --> 00:28:21,147
At least we had an honest relationship.

714
00:28:21,148 --> 00:28:22,687
"Contents of my safety deposit
boxes and assorted holdings..."

715
00:28:22,688 --> 00:28:24,135
William, I can't hear a thing.

716
00:28:24,136 --> 00:28:27,080
"I leave... to you."

717
00:28:29,816 --> 00:28:32,004
Y-you mean Charlotte Rhodes, my daughter.

718
00:28:32,005 --> 00:28:34,707
This is not the real Charlie Rhodes.
Lola is.

719
00:28:35,379 --> 00:28:38,342
No, I'm afraid not, Carol. It says--

720
00:28:38,343 --> 00:28:39,735
It says so right here.

721
00:28:40,147 --> 00:28:41,620
Ivy Dickens.

722
00:28:53,536 --> 00:28:55,367
You are never gonna get away with this.

723
00:28:55,368 --> 00:28:56,176
Let's call the police.

724
00:28:56,177 --> 00:28:57,166
Oh, please.

725
00:28:57,167 --> 00:29:00,622
Wait. Look, I never asked
Cece for anything.

726
00:29:00,623 --> 00:29:02,970
Oh, no, instead you poisoned
her against her entire family

727
00:29:02,971 --> 00:29:05,071
and manipulated her into
giving you everything.

728
00:29:05,072 --> 00:29:06,819
That's not true.

729
00:29:06,820 --> 00:29:09,458
Your grandmother just
wanted someone to talk to.

730
00:29:09,459 --> 00:29:12,247
Oh, please. You don't think we
can see through all your lies?

731
00:29:12,248 --> 00:29:14,654
You were a terrible actress
when we first met,

732
00:29:14,655 --> 00:29:15,586
and you still are.

733
00:29:15,587 --> 00:29:15,988
Mom--

734
00:29:15,989 --> 00:29:18,039
I swear on my life

735
00:29:18,040 --> 00:29:20,792
all I ever did was help take care of her.

736
00:29:20,815 --> 00:29:22,771
I mean, I even tried to
tell you that she was sick.

737
00:29:22,772 --> 00:29:23,190
Ohh.

738
00:29:23,191 --> 00:29:25,257
Oh, but conveniently failed.

739
00:29:25,258 --> 00:29:26,802
Look, will you please shut up?

740
00:29:26,803 --> 00:29:28,076
Forget about the money.

741
00:29:28,077 --> 00:29:29,374
That's easy for you to say.

742
00:29:29,375 --> 00:29:31,097
You each still have your trusts.

743
00:29:31,098 --> 00:29:33,295
Mine was liquidated years ago.

744
00:29:33,296 --> 00:29:36,468
How do we know Ivy didn't try
to hasten our mother's death?

745
00:29:36,707 --> 00:29:40,198
Are you people crazy? Look, I loved her.

746
00:29:40,199 --> 00:29:42,312
That's my cue. I think I've heard enough.

747
00:29:42,560 --> 00:29:43,664
This...

748
00:29:45,572 --> 00:29:48,659
You can think whatever you want about me.

749
00:29:48,674 --> 00:29:51,268
But I never lied to Cece.

750
00:29:51,571 --> 00:29:52,691
Prove it.

751
00:29:52,892 --> 00:29:55,548
Well, didn't you hear the will?

752
00:29:55,747 --> 00:29:57,399
She didn't call me "Charlie Rhodes."

753
00:29:57,400 --> 00:30:00,054
She called me "Ivy Dickens."

754
00:30:00,628 --> 00:30:03,764
Your mother knew all of my secrets,

755
00:30:03,765 --> 00:30:05,811
and she knew all of yours, too.

756
00:30:06,913 --> 00:30:09,191
Maybe that's why she left me everything.

757
00:30:11,462 --> 00:30:13,651
Ever since the accident,
I've been blaming myself,

758
00:30:13,652 --> 00:30:15,913
blaming Louis, but it was
Humphrey behind it all.

759
00:30:15,914 --> 00:30:17,047
It's not that simple.

760
00:30:17,048 --> 00:30:17,811
Yes, it is,

761
00:30:17,812 --> 00:30:19,123
and now that we know the truth,

762
00:30:19,124 --> 00:30:21,077
there is nothing in our way.

763
00:30:22,172 --> 00:30:24,428
Humphrey's not the reason
we're not together,

764
00:30:24,735 --> 00:30:25,775
and neither is the dowry.

765
00:30:25,776 --> 00:30:27,431
Is this about saving my life again?

766
00:30:27,432 --> 00:30:29,807
Because we're past that.
You said you wanted to wait

767
00:30:29,808 --> 00:30:32,637
until your marriage was over.
Now it's over.

768
00:30:32,638 --> 00:30:34,300
Chuck, I don't blame you.

769
00:30:34,974 --> 00:30:36,981
And as crazy as this all has gotten,

770
00:30:37,404 --> 00:30:38,983
I know why you did everything.

771
00:30:38,984 --> 00:30:40,473
Because I love you.

772
00:30:40,545 --> 00:30:41,951
And I love you.

773
00:30:44,700 --> 00:30:46,235
I always will.

774
00:30:47,092 --> 00:30:49,379
But that doesn't mean I'm in love with you.

775
00:30:51,399 --> 00:30:52,314
At least not right now,

776
00:30:52,315 --> 00:30:54,370
not the way you need me to be,

777
00:30:54,371 --> 00:30:55,955
not the way you deserve.

778
00:30:57,667 --> 00:30:58,900
I'm sorry.

779
00:30:59,472 --> 00:31:00,640
I have to go.

780
00:31:03,480 --> 00:31:04,648
Hey.

781
00:31:04,899 --> 00:31:07,718
Look, I know how that must
have seemed up there,

782
00:31:07,719 --> 00:31:09,580
but Ivy Dickens is a thief.

783
00:31:09,581 --> 00:31:10,970
She already stole your identity

784
00:31:10,971 --> 00:31:13,724
and your money, and now she's
about to rob the rest of us.

785
00:31:13,887 --> 00:31:15,825
Your family needs you right now.

786
00:31:16,531 --> 00:31:17,939
You're not my family,

787
00:31:17,940 --> 00:31:20,362
and honestly, after listening
to everybody upstairs,

788
00:31:20,363 --> 00:31:22,299
the only person I feel sorry for is Ivy.

789
00:31:23,287 --> 00:31:24,423
She's a criminal.

790
00:31:24,424 --> 00:31:26,296
Because your family made her into one.

791
00:31:26,563 --> 00:31:28,457
Serena, all you people
do is lie to each other

792
00:31:28,458 --> 00:31:30,748
and fight about money, so
what's the difference, really?

793
00:31:32,963 --> 00:31:35,091
You know, it was my own fault
for sticking around today.

794
00:31:35,148 --> 00:31:36,527
I was dumb enough to think

795
00:31:36,528 --> 00:31:38,303
that there might be some
answers here for me.

796
00:31:38,882 --> 00:31:40,351
At least now I know I was wrong.

797
00:31:52,012 --> 00:31:54,318
Care to join me, for old times' sake?

798
00:31:54,319 --> 00:31:56,654
Oh, cut the crap, William.

799
00:31:57,544 --> 00:31:58,986
You need to fix this.

800
00:31:58,987 --> 00:32:01,015
Cece's wishes are Cece's wishes.

801
00:32:01,016 --> 00:32:03,448
I don't care what she wanted.

802
00:32:04,142 --> 00:32:08,030
Today was supposed to be my
payday, and you know that.

803
00:32:08,684 --> 00:32:10,380
I understand you're upset.

804
00:32:10,618 --> 00:32:13,611
No, you don't understand a thing.

805
00:32:13,612 --> 00:32:16,093
If you can't find a way to make this right,

806
00:32:16,480 --> 00:32:21,238
I'm gonna be forced to resort
to other ways to get my money.

807
00:32:21,239 --> 00:32:22,951
Like getting a real job?

808
00:32:23,803 --> 00:32:26,307
I've always hesitated
going after Lola's father

809
00:32:26,308 --> 00:32:30,835
for child support he owes
me, oh, almost 20 years.

810
00:32:32,137 --> 00:32:33,482
Good luck with that.

811
00:32:34,235 --> 00:32:35,643
Do you even know who he is?

812
00:32:36,312 --> 00:32:37,872
I'm looking right at him.

813
00:32:41,427 --> 00:32:43,011
Sorry I never told you,

814
00:32:43,098 --> 00:32:44,466
but not as sorry as you're gonna be

815
00:32:44,467 --> 00:32:47,764
when Lily finds out what we were
doing while you were married,

816
00:32:47,768 --> 00:32:51,079
unless, of course, you have another idea?

817
00:32:52,128 --> 00:32:54,383
This just is my lucky day.

818
00:32:54,560 --> 00:32:58,375
Spotted--Dr. Van Der Woodsen
white as a sheet.

819
00:32:58,376 --> 00:33:00,247
Looks like the rules of this Rhodes

820
00:33:00,248 --> 00:33:03,402
just changed before his very eyes.

821
00:33:17,524 --> 00:33:19,098
How'd you get past the doorman?

822
00:33:19,099 --> 00:33:21,387
Wait. I don't even wanna know.

823
00:33:21,919 --> 00:33:24,001
Look, I know no one believes a word I say,

824
00:33:24,002 --> 00:33:25,812
but I really didn't mean to hurt you.

825
00:33:26,066 --> 00:33:27,775
You were just collateral damage.

826
00:33:27,776 --> 00:33:29,549
Well, if it had been anyone else but me,

827
00:33:29,550 --> 00:33:31,178
I might believe you, but we both know

828
00:33:31,179 --> 00:33:33,307
you've always wanted to
settle the score between us.

829
00:33:33,452 --> 00:33:35,002
You have to understand.

830
00:33:35,003 --> 00:33:36,958
When I decided to stop being Gossip Girl,

831
00:33:36,959 --> 00:33:38,909
I knew that anyone who knew or found out

832
00:33:38,910 --> 00:33:40,212
would have it out for me.

833
00:33:40,291 --> 00:33:42,703
So I realized I'd better
start collecting favors

834
00:33:42,704 --> 00:33:44,928
to use as protection down the line.

835
00:33:44,951 --> 00:33:46,815
Running that picture of you kissing Dan

836
00:33:46,816 --> 00:33:49,520
was my golden ticket to use
with Chuck down the road.

837
00:33:50,284 --> 00:33:51,947
I'd love one from you, too.

838
00:33:52,356 --> 00:33:54,211
Are you using again?

839
00:33:54,747 --> 00:33:57,361
Why would I ever make
myself indebted to you?

840
00:33:57,732 --> 00:33:59,415
Because I have a way that your family

841
00:33:59,416 --> 00:34:01,576
doesn't have to pay the Grimaldis a thing,

842
00:34:01,623 --> 00:34:03,719
and you get your divorce in the process.

843
00:34:03,787 --> 00:34:06,091
Even you can't pull that
rabbit out of your hat.

844
00:34:07,620 --> 00:34:09,780
I was Gossip Girl for two months.

845
00:34:09,908 --> 00:34:12,307
You have no idea the dirt I have on people.

846
00:34:13,021 --> 00:34:15,150
I've been so good for so long,

847
00:34:15,504 --> 00:34:17,228
it's time for me to be bad.

848
00:34:17,523 --> 00:34:18,843
I can help you.

849
00:34:18,844 --> 00:34:20,924
Let me solve all your problems.

850
00:34:30,024 --> 00:34:31,177
Fine.

851
00:34:31,345 --> 00:34:32,645
Anything to be done with this.

852
00:34:32,646 --> 00:34:34,193
Do what you can, and if you succeed,

853
00:34:34,194 --> 00:34:37,068
then I'll enjoy whatever
horror you concoct.

854
00:34:37,264 --> 00:34:39,617
Believe me, I won't let you down,

855
00:34:39,618 --> 00:34:42,340
and you won't let me down,
either, when I come back.

856
00:34:56,575 --> 00:34:57,967
Charles.

857
00:34:58,549 --> 00:35:00,636
Lily, I'm sorry for your loss.

858
00:35:00,637 --> 00:35:03,880
Oh. Tough day, as they say.

859
00:35:04,659 --> 00:35:05,471
For you, too?

860
00:35:05,472 --> 00:35:09,108
Oh, no, I wouldn't dream
of adding to your burden.

861
00:35:09,188 --> 00:35:10,979
Oh, come on. You never have.

862
00:35:11,386 --> 00:35:13,132
It would be a good distraction.

863
00:35:13,745 --> 00:35:14,924
What's wrong?

864
00:35:15,116 --> 00:35:18,387
Blair. She walked away from me today,

865
00:35:18,388 --> 00:35:21,060
and not like she has done in the past.

866
00:35:21,643 --> 00:35:22,859
It was different.

867
00:35:24,195 --> 00:35:25,923
I feel like she's changing.

868
00:35:29,519 --> 00:35:31,139
I know I didn't die in the car accident,

869
00:35:31,140 --> 00:35:33,139
but sometimes it feels like I did.

870
00:35:33,197 --> 00:35:36,455
Don't say that.
You survived, and it was a miracle.

871
00:35:36,456 --> 00:35:37,559
Yeah.

872
00:35:37,879 --> 00:35:39,310
Thanks to Saint Waldorf.

873
00:35:39,311 --> 00:35:41,379
You mean thanks to Saint Jack.

874
00:35:43,299 --> 00:35:44,972
The doctors didn't tell you?

875
00:35:45,908 --> 00:35:48,580
Oh, it's all such a blur now. Um...

876
00:35:50,151 --> 00:35:52,594
When you were in surgery,
there was a complication,

877
00:35:52,595 --> 00:35:56,469
and they needed a family member
for a blood transfusion,

878
00:35:56,640 --> 00:35:58,880
and I gave the doctors Jack's number.

879
00:35:58,978 --> 00:36:00,254
Jack?

880
00:36:00,807 --> 00:36:01,943
Yes.

881
00:36:05,995 --> 00:36:07,414
You haven't lived until you've tried

882
00:36:07,415 --> 00:36:09,254
caramel mousse and chocolate.

883
00:36:09,836 --> 00:36:12,266
Are you just gonna ply me
with sweets until I cheer up?

884
00:36:12,267 --> 00:36:14,071
Because I think I'll
probably go into sugar shock

885
00:36:14,072 --> 00:36:15,387
before that happens.

886
00:36:15,388 --> 00:36:16,938
I am so sorry. I mean, truly.

887
00:36:16,939 --> 00:36:20,279
No, don't be.
You're about the only good thing

888
00:36:20,280 --> 00:36:21,640
in my life right now.

889
00:36:25,511 --> 00:36:27,431
Sorry. Hello?

890
00:36:27,432 --> 00:36:29,992
Lola. It's William Van Der Woodsen.

891
00:36:30,332 --> 00:36:31,134
Hey.

892
00:36:31,135 --> 00:36:32,299
Sorry to bother you.

893
00:36:32,300 --> 00:36:34,868
I just felt badly we weren't
able to finish our conversation,

894
00:36:34,869 --> 00:36:37,508
so I asked Serena for your phone number.

895
00:36:37,557 --> 00:36:40,679
Oh, no. You know, today
was a lot for everybody,

896
00:36:40,680 --> 00:36:43,495
so... no apology necessary.

897
00:36:43,568 --> 00:36:45,962
Well, I'm at the Empire if
you need to reach me, okay?

898
00:36:45,963 --> 00:36:49,084
Okay. Great. Yeah.
I'll call you then, I guess.

899
00:36:50,005 --> 00:36:51,236
Bye.

900
00:36:59,928 --> 00:37:01,194
So after all that,

901
00:37:01,195 --> 00:37:04,059
you're really just giving up "Gossip Girl"?

902
00:37:04,060 --> 00:37:05,842
Well, with Chuck and Blair beholden to me,

903
00:37:05,843 --> 00:37:07,492
I'm more powerful than ever.

904
00:37:07,655 --> 00:37:09,790
It's time to pass the "Gossip Girl" baton.

905
00:37:09,791 --> 00:37:12,142
Let someone else see if
they can outshine me,

906
00:37:12,243 --> 00:37:14,147
or at the very least, die trying.

907
00:37:14,291 --> 00:37:17,475
Now be a doll and send this for me.

908
00:37:18,992 --> 00:37:21,178
My flight to Monaco is in two hours,

909
00:37:21,179 --> 00:37:22,923
and be very careful with this.

910
00:37:23,004 --> 00:37:26,060
There's stuff on this laptop
that'll blow people's minds.

911
00:37:27,244 --> 00:37:28,795
Bring back pictures.

912
00:37:29,410 --> 00:37:30,787
Don't you worry.

913
00:37:36,051 --> 00:37:37,359
Bye.

914
00:37:40,350 --> 00:37:43,196
Finally, some peace and quiet.

915
00:37:44,968 --> 00:37:46,280
I'm sorry.

916
00:37:47,102 --> 00:37:48,928
Am I interrupting something?

917
00:37:50,706 --> 00:37:53,335
Yes, you are.
It's been a long day for everyone.

918
00:37:53,336 --> 00:37:54,851
I think it'd be best if you left.

919
00:37:54,852 --> 00:37:57,048
I was just gonna say the same thing...

920
00:37:57,049 --> 00:37:58,668
But to the two of you.

921
00:37:59,875 --> 00:38:01,203
What are you talking about?

922
00:38:05,635 --> 00:38:07,700
This is my apartment now.

923
00:38:09,539 --> 00:38:11,133
That's ridiculous.

924
00:38:11,134 --> 00:38:13,676
You think we're just
gonna let you live here.

925
00:38:14,535 --> 00:38:17,014
This all just needs to get sorted out.

926
00:38:17,051 --> 00:38:18,395
Naturally.

927
00:38:18,599 --> 00:38:21,207
But you'll have to do
it from someplace else.

928
00:38:21,307 --> 00:38:23,384
Oh, and where are we supposed to go?

929
00:38:23,385 --> 00:38:25,530
It's not like we have another
apartment in the city. It's--

930
00:38:25,531 --> 00:38:26,532
Yes, we do, Lil.

931
00:38:26,533 --> 00:38:27,186
Oh.

932
00:38:27,187 --> 00:38:28,308
Come on.

933
00:38:35,543 --> 00:38:37,543
I'll just get my things.

934
00:38:54,935 --> 00:38:58,083
Oh, Ms. Serena. I tidy up later.

935
00:38:58,084 --> 00:38:59,571
No, it's okay.

936
00:39:02,335 --> 00:39:04,703
It was beautiful wake for Ms. Cece.

937
00:39:06,003 --> 00:39:07,813
Good-byes never easy.

938
00:39:08,367 --> 00:39:11,184
Yeah, I know, but that's all
I seem to say these days--

939
00:39:11,488 --> 00:39:15,392
to my grandma, to jobs,
to boys, to everything.

940
00:39:15,831 --> 00:39:17,880
I'm just sick of good-byes.

941
00:39:19,047 --> 00:39:21,223
Something new arrive soon.

942
00:39:23,268 --> 00:39:24,690
It always does.

943
00:39:25,723 --> 00:39:27,195
I hope so.

944
00:39:27,859 --> 00:39:30,004
I'm ready for it, whatever it is.

945
00:39:44,728 --> 00:39:46,871
Attention, Upper East Siders.

946
00:39:46,932 --> 00:39:49,310
After everything that happened today,

947
00:39:49,311 --> 00:39:51,518
I've decided I need a little break

948
00:39:51,519 --> 00:39:53,107
to catch my breath.

949
00:39:53,108 --> 00:39:55,060
I'm sure you do, too.

950
00:39:55,724 --> 00:39:58,306
But don't worry. I'll be back.

951
00:39:58,307 --> 00:39:59,940
I always am.

952
00:39:59,965 --> 00:40:10,165
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