1 00:00:02,809 --> 00:00:04,827 Hey, want to spend some time playing the new 2 00:00:04,829 --> 00:00:06,128 Star Wars game this weekend? 3 00:00:06,130 --> 00:00:08,147 Oh, I don't know. I kind of promised myself 4 00:00:08,149 --> 00:00:10,583 I'd get off the computer, be more physically active. 5 00:00:10,585 --> 00:00:11,801 Get some exercise... 6 00:00:11,803 --> 00:00:14,837 You're about to walk up three flights of stairs. 7 00:00:16,957 --> 00:00:19,475 Good point, I'm in. 8 00:00:19,477 --> 00:00:21,060 You know what would be great? 9 00:00:21,062 --> 00:00:23,346 Let's do it like the old days. 10 00:00:23,348 --> 00:00:25,297 You mean, are you talking gaming marathon? 11 00:00:25,299 --> 00:00:27,099 Yeah. Start Saturday morning, 12 00:00:27,101 --> 00:00:28,467 go 48 hours, 13 00:00:28,469 --> 00:00:30,436 sleeping bags, junk food... 14 00:00:30,438 --> 00:00:33,138 Turn off our phones so our moms can't call. 15 00:00:35,442 --> 00:00:37,743 It would be like our World Of Warcraft a few years ago 16 00:00:37,745 --> 00:00:39,412 when the neighbors called the cops on us. 17 00:00:40,915 --> 00:00:42,281 They called the cops because of the smell. 18 00:00:42,283 --> 00:00:44,483 They thought we were dead. 19 00:00:46,987 --> 00:00:49,488 We were badass back in the day. 20 00:00:51,508 --> 00:00:52,875 All right, let's do it. 21 00:00:52,877 --> 00:00:54,927 48 hours of Star Wars gaming. 22 00:00:54,929 --> 00:00:57,013 It's on like Alderaan. 23 00:00:58,600 --> 00:01:00,433 Hey, Sheldon, 24 00:01:00,435 --> 00:01:02,184 clear your weekend. Starting Saturday morning, 25 00:01:02,186 --> 00:01:03,686 Star Wars marathon Whoohoo! 26 00:01:03,688 --> 00:01:05,471 Movies or video games? 27 00:01:05,473 --> 00:01:06,539 No, board game? 28 00:01:06,541 --> 00:01:07,673 Or trading card games? 29 00:01:07,675 --> 00:01:09,225 Or Lego's? Or dress up? 30 00:01:09,227 --> 00:01:10,309 Or comic books?! 31 00:01:10,311 --> 00:01:12,094 Or dramatic readings of novelizations?! 32 00:01:12,096 --> 00:01:14,680 Yes to all! 33 00:01:14,682 --> 00:01:18,200 We are going to play the online game. 34 00:01:18,202 --> 00:01:19,452 The online game?! 35 00:01:19,454 --> 00:01:21,737 Bully! 36 00:01:21,739 --> 00:01:24,407 Gentlemen, as much as I'm sure Sheldon would enjoy 37 00:01:24,409 --> 00:01:26,292 playing intergalactic make-believe, 38 00:01:26,294 --> 00:01:27,710 he and I have other plans. 39 00:01:27,712 --> 00:01:30,479 We are attending my Aunt Flora's 93rd birthday party. 40 00:01:30,481 --> 00:01:32,798 Just tell her I can't come. 41 00:01:32,800 --> 00:01:35,200 She'll be disappointed if we don't show up. 44 00:01:40,357 --> 00:01:43,092 No, hang on. I followed all the protocols 45 00:01:43,094 --> 00:01:45,061 set forth by you in the relationship agreement. 46 00:01:45,063 --> 00:01:48,648 I made a written record request 72 hours in advance. 47 00:01:49,549 --> 00:01:51,717 I checked the tire pressure on the car. 48 00:01:51,719 --> 00:01:54,020 I even contacted the Centers For Disease Control to find out 49 00:01:54,022 --> 00:01:57,273 what shots they recommend for travel to Orange County. 50 00:01:58,191 --> 00:02:00,943 FYI, it's none. 51 00:02:00,945 --> 00:02:02,828 Amy, the relationship agreement was not designed 52 00:02:02,830 --> 00:02:05,915 for either one of us to get our way. 53 00:02:05,917 --> 00:02:07,867 You use it to get your way. 54 00:02:07,869 --> 00:02:10,286 I use it to get the right way. 55 00:02:11,421 --> 00:02:12,955 The fact that the right way is 56 00:02:12,957 --> 00:02:15,174 also my way is a happy coincidence. 57 00:02:16,727 --> 00:02:18,077 You gave me your word. 58 00:02:18,079 --> 00:02:19,295 You're coming with me. 59 00:02:19,297 --> 00:02:20,496 We'll miss you, Sheldon. 60 00:02:20,498 --> 00:02:22,247 Yeah, well, 61 00:02:22,249 --> 00:02:24,216 who wants to spend the whole weekend, running around 62 00:02:24,218 --> 00:02:27,019 a bunch of pretend planets battling made up monsters. 63 00:02:27,021 --> 00:02:29,271 That's for babies. 64 00:02:29,273 --> 00:02:30,856 Yeah, but it's got lightsabers. 65 00:02:30,858 --> 00:02:34,527 Yeah, please, Amy! It's got lightsabers! 66 00:02:34,529 --> 00:02:38,097 ♪ Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state ♪ 67 00:02:38,099 --> 00:02:41,767 ♪ Then nearly 14 billion years ago expansion started... Wait! ♪ 68 00:02:41,769 --> 00:02:43,285 ♪ The Earth began to cool 69 00:02:43,287 --> 00:02:46,072 ♪ The autotrophs began to drool, Neanderthals developed tools ♪ 70 00:02:46,074 --> 00:02:48,224 ♪ We built the Wall ♪ We built the pyramids ♪ 71 00:02:48,226 --> 00:02:50,943 ♪ Math, Science, History, unraveling the mystery ♪ 72 00:02:50,945 --> 00:02:52,828 ♪ That all started with a big bang ♪ 73 00:02:52,830 --> 00:02:54,830 ♪ Bang! ♪ 74 00:02:54,831 --> 00:02:57,931 The Big Bang Theory 5x19 The Weekend Vortex Original Air Date on March 8, 2012 75 00:02:57,952 --> 00:03:01,052 == sync, corrected by elderman == 76 00:03:01,146 --> 00:03:03,080 - Hello Stuart. - Hey Sheldon. 77 00:03:03,105 --> 00:03:04,216 Help you with anything? 78 00:03:04,241 --> 00:03:08,953 Yes. I'm attending a party this weekend, for a 93-year-old woman. 79 00:03:10,241 --> 00:03:11,822 Can you recommend a gift? 80 00:03:13,008 --> 00:03:15,509 Uh, I don't know. 81 00:03:15,511 --> 00:03:18,157 Could put a tennis ball on the end of Excalibur. 82 00:03:18,158 --> 00:03:20,358 Make a pretty badass cane. 83 00:03:21,829 --> 00:03:23,914 Do you supply the the tennis balls? No. 84 00:03:23,916 --> 00:03:25,265 Then no. 85 00:03:26,984 --> 00:03:27,868 What else? 86 00:03:27,870 --> 00:03:29,035 Hmm... 87 00:03:29,037 --> 00:03:32,172 Oh, have this collectors edition 88 00:03:32,174 --> 00:03:33,506 Batman utility belt. 89 00:03:33,508 --> 00:03:36,760 Maybe she can use it as a wearable pill caddy. 90 00:03:38,212 --> 00:03:40,513 Well, she'd just look silly wearing that 91 00:03:40,515 --> 00:03:41,998 without the rest of the costume. 92 00:03:44,969 --> 00:03:47,387 I'm sorry Sheldon, that's it. That's all I got. 93 00:03:47,389 --> 00:03:48,504 Oh, it's not your fault. 94 00:03:48,506 --> 00:03:50,223 I've been to the model train store. 95 00:03:50,225 --> 00:03:51,841 I've been to Radio Shack. 96 00:03:51,843 --> 00:03:54,394 This woman is impossible to shop for. 97 00:03:54,396 --> 00:03:57,280 I'd make fun of Sheldon for having girl problems 98 00:03:57,282 --> 00:04:00,550 if I wasn't in shock that Sheldon has girl problems. 99 00:04:00,552 --> 00:04:03,519 No, Leonard, go ahead and mock. 100 00:04:03,521 --> 00:04:07,107 Like my daddy always said, "Shelly, women aren't anything 101 00:04:07,109 --> 00:04:09,276 but flippin' pains in the bottom." 102 00:04:11,479 --> 00:04:13,079 That's what your father used to say? 103 00:04:13,081 --> 00:04:16,166 Well, I took out the bad words and the yeehaw, 104 00:04:16,168 --> 00:04:18,218 but you get the gist. 105 00:04:19,136 --> 00:04:20,470 Look, if you don't want to go 106 00:04:20,472 --> 00:04:21,871 to the party, just don't go. 107 00:04:21,873 --> 00:04:22,872 You're a grown man. 108 00:04:22,874 --> 00:04:24,207 Act like one. 109 00:04:24,209 --> 00:04:26,893 Tell Amy you want to spend the weekend having a sleepover 110 00:04:26,895 --> 00:04:29,145 and playing video games with your friends. 111 00:04:30,147 --> 00:04:31,598 Maybe she'll dig it. 112 00:04:31,600 --> 00:04:34,484 Women like a firm hand on the tiller. 113 00:04:34,486 --> 00:04:36,336 I can never find the tiller. 114 00:04:39,190 --> 00:04:42,692 I got a book; it didn't help. 115 00:04:42,694 --> 00:04:45,445 Yeah, I always thought if I were ever enslaved, 116 00:04:45,447 --> 00:04:48,698 it would be by an advanced species from another planet, 117 00:04:48,700 --> 00:04:52,419 not some hotsy-totsy from Glendale. 118 00:04:52,421 --> 00:04:54,621 Now, I downloaded an app that 119 00:04:54,623 --> 00:04:57,757 might be helpful in this situation. 120 00:05:02,247 --> 00:05:04,114 You're right. 121 00:05:04,116 --> 00:05:07,484 I'm smart as a whip. I should be able to figure this out. 122 00:05:10,587 --> 00:05:12,555 Hey, listen, I kind of made plans 123 00:05:12,557 --> 00:05:14,858 with the guys this weekend, but then I wondered, 124 00:05:14,860 --> 00:05:16,943 because we're in this relationship-beta-test, 125 00:05:16,945 --> 00:05:18,778 if I should have asked you first. 126 00:05:18,780 --> 00:05:21,731 Then I thought if I did check with you first, 127 00:05:21,733 --> 00:05:24,818 then you'd think that I was taking things too seriously. 128 00:05:24,820 --> 00:05:27,270 And then-en I got a nosebleed. 129 00:05:27,272 --> 00:05:29,823 You don't have to check with me. 130 00:05:29,825 --> 00:05:31,825 Do whatever you want. 131 00:05:31,827 --> 00:05:33,493 Oh. 132 00:05:33,495 --> 00:05:36,379 I guess I was hoping for a different reaction, but okay. 133 00:05:36,381 --> 00:05:38,415 Really, what were you hoping for? 134 00:05:38,417 --> 00:05:39,799 I don't know, 135 00:05:39,801 --> 00:05:41,801 maybe that you'd be a little upset, 136 00:05:41,803 --> 00:05:43,887 and then you'd realize that 137 00:05:43,889 --> 00:05:46,139 I'm a stallion that has to run free. 138 00:05:50,061 --> 00:05:52,512 And that would turn you on a little. 139 00:05:52,514 --> 00:05:56,299 Okay, I'm an actress. Ask me again. 140 00:05:56,301 --> 00:05:58,568 Do you mind if I spend the weekend 141 00:05:58,570 --> 00:06:00,186 playing video games with the guys? 142 00:06:00,188 --> 00:06:02,155 Wha... the entire weekend? 143 00:06:02,157 --> 00:06:03,823 You mean I wouldn't see you at all? 144 00:06:03,825 --> 00:06:04,774 But I j... 145 00:06:04,776 --> 00:06:05,641 No, no... 146 00:06:05,643 --> 00:06:08,328 I knew what I was getting into. 147 00:06:08,330 --> 00:06:11,648 You can't put a saddle on Leonard Hofstadter. 148 00:06:13,501 --> 00:06:16,152 Oh, my, is it getting hot in here? 149 00:06:16,154 --> 00:06:18,455 Ay,papi. 150 00:06:18,457 --> 00:06:21,341 ¿Ay papi? 151 00:06:21,343 --> 00:06:22,759 What is that? 152 00:06:22,761 --> 00:06:25,145 - An acting choice. - Oh. 153 00:06:25,147 --> 00:06:27,547 So you chose that when you become turned on, 154 00:06:27,549 --> 00:06:30,433 you turn into Speedy Gonzalez? 155 00:06:30,435 --> 00:06:34,087 Choo got a problem with that, papi? 156 00:06:35,022 --> 00:06:36,556 Uh-uh. 157 00:06:36,558 --> 00:06:40,443 Penny! Penny! Penny! 158 00:06:40,445 --> 00:06:41,728 Sorry, Stallion. 159 00:06:41,730 --> 00:06:43,980 Your weird friend Giraffe is here. 160 00:06:46,117 --> 00:06:47,683 Hello, Penny! 161 00:06:47,685 --> 00:06:50,403 I just stopped by to bring you this gift. 162 00:06:50,405 --> 00:06:52,021 Gummy bears? Thank you. 163 00:06:52,023 --> 00:06:54,023 Now that you're in my debt... 164 00:06:55,526 --> 00:06:58,194 ...please manipulate Amy into releasing me from my 165 00:06:58,196 --> 00:07:01,748 commitment to attend her aunt's tedious birthday party. 166 00:07:01,750 --> 00:07:02,999 Not a chance. 167 00:07:03,001 --> 00:07:04,250 All right. 168 00:07:04,252 --> 00:07:05,885 I thought the candy might not be enough 169 00:07:05,887 --> 00:07:08,088 so let me up the ante. 170 00:07:08,090 --> 00:07:10,090 These are Cooper Coupons. 171 00:07:10,092 --> 00:07:13,176 These are for various things I can do for you. 172 00:07:13,178 --> 00:07:14,677 Um, oh, this one 173 00:07:14,679 --> 00:07:16,896 is for one free grammar check. 174 00:07:16,898 --> 00:07:18,431 Uh... 175 00:07:18,433 --> 00:07:20,600 You could use it for emails, letters, 176 00:07:20,602 --> 00:07:21,935 tattoos, what have you. 177 00:07:21,937 --> 00:07:23,603 Um... 178 00:07:23,605 --> 00:07:25,021 Oh, this is fun one! 179 00:07:25,023 --> 00:07:28,408 This is an afternoon with me at the California Science Center, 180 00:07:28,410 --> 00:07:31,411 where I point out their mistakes. 181 00:07:31,413 --> 00:07:34,230 Keep an eye on those expiration dates, 182 00:07:34,232 --> 00:07:36,332 I've been burned more than once. 183 00:07:36,334 --> 00:07:38,785 All right, sweetie, I'm not going to get involved 184 00:07:38,787 --> 00:07:39,919 in your relationship. 185 00:07:39,921 --> 00:07:42,288 Oh, come on. It's just a simple favor. 186 00:07:42,290 --> 00:07:43,423 Now, when's the last time I asked you 187 00:07:43,425 --> 00:07:44,424 to do something for me? 188 00:07:44,426 --> 00:07:46,626 Yesterday. You made me look in your ear 189 00:07:46,628 --> 00:07:48,628 to see if there was a ladybug in it. 190 00:07:48,630 --> 00:07:51,581 When is the last time I asked you to do something 191 00:07:51,583 --> 00:07:52,915 that wasn't a medical emergency? 192 00:07:52,917 --> 00:07:54,634 Yesterday. You made me look in your ear 193 00:07:54,636 --> 00:07:56,836 to see if there was a ladybug in it. 194 00:07:58,088 --> 00:07:59,606 All right, then, I have no choice 195 00:07:59,608 --> 00:08:00,923 but to go on to plan B. 196 00:08:00,925 --> 00:08:02,091 What's that? 197 00:08:02,093 --> 00:08:03,259 I'm going to run around outside 198 00:08:03,261 --> 00:08:05,261 with a wet head and try to catch a cold. 199 00:08:09,483 --> 00:08:10,700 Good morning. 200 00:08:10,702 --> 00:08:12,368 Hello. 201 00:08:12,370 --> 00:08:14,654 I think you're really going to enjoy yourself today. 202 00:08:14,656 --> 00:08:16,322 Not only do you get to meet my relatives, 203 00:08:16,324 --> 00:08:18,708 but since you aunt's nursing home is catering the party, 204 00:08:18,710 --> 00:08:20,326 all of the food is incredibly soft. 205 00:08:20,328 --> 00:08:22,712 It's like a vacation for your teeth. 206 00:08:22,714 --> 00:08:24,280 All right. 207 00:08:25,949 --> 00:08:27,584 You sure you're okay with this? 208 00:08:27,586 --> 00:08:28,968 Yes. 209 00:08:28,970 --> 00:08:31,304 I decided to find a way that I could 210 00:08:31,306 --> 00:08:33,789 have this experience and enjoy it. 211 00:08:33,791 --> 00:08:36,593 Thank you. That means a lot to me. 212 00:08:36,595 --> 00:08:38,011 Oh, don't thank me. 213 00:08:38,013 --> 00:08:39,462 Thank wireless technology. 214 00:08:39,464 --> 00:08:42,732 I realized, I can go to your aunt's awful party 215 00:08:42,734 --> 00:08:46,903 and still spend the whole day gaming with my friends. 216 00:08:46,905 --> 00:08:50,023 Sheldon, my relatives are going to want to talk to you, 217 00:08:50,025 --> 00:08:52,742 and you're going to be sitting there playing a game? 218 00:08:52,744 --> 00:08:54,360 Isn't that a little rude? 219 00:08:54,362 --> 00:08:56,496 Oh, I got that covered. 220 00:08:56,498 --> 00:08:58,198 Headset. 221 00:08:58,200 --> 00:09:01,117 I won't hear a word the old geezers are saying. 222 00:09:03,370 --> 00:09:06,339 You know, if playing that game is more important to you 223 00:09:06,341 --> 00:09:07,790 than honoring your commitment to me, 224 00:09:07,792 --> 00:09:10,176 and you don't mind me showing up at a party all by myself 225 00:09:10,178 --> 00:09:11,327 after I've already told everybody 226 00:09:11,329 --> 00:09:13,429 I'll be bringing somebody, then, fine. 227 00:09:13,431 --> 00:09:14,931 Go home and play your game. 228 00:09:17,434 --> 00:09:18,801 Thanks. 229 00:09:20,337 --> 00:09:21,504 Ooh, listen, 230 00:09:21,506 --> 00:09:24,691 I wouldn't mind a piece of birthday cake, 231 00:09:24,693 --> 00:09:29,345 provided the old gal's candle blow is clean and dry. 232 00:09:37,290 --> 00:09:38,649 Here you go. 233 00:09:38,650 --> 00:09:40,900 I've got everything we'll need for the big game: 234 00:09:40,902 --> 00:09:43,402 lowfat turkey jerky... 235 00:09:43,404 --> 00:09:46,639 low-carb beer... 236 00:09:46,641 --> 00:09:49,442 100-calorie snack pack... 237 00:09:49,444 --> 00:09:52,194 You pick up a Y chromosome while you were there? 238 00:09:52,196 --> 00:09:53,779 You might be short one. 239 00:09:53,781 --> 00:09:56,399 Hey, I plan on leveling up in the game, 240 00:09:56,401 --> 00:09:59,535 not my swimsuit size, thank you very much. 241 00:09:59,537 --> 00:10:01,820 Gentlemen, the game offers us a choice, 242 00:10:01,822 --> 00:10:04,674 between playing for the Republic and the light side, 243 00:10:04,676 --> 00:10:07,760 or the Sith Empire and the dark side. 244 00:10:07,762 --> 00:10:09,211 Well, we're always the good guys. 245 00:10:09,213 --> 00:10:10,713 In D&D, we're lawful good, 246 00:10:10,715 --> 00:10:12,398 in City Of Heroes, we're the heroes, 247 00:10:12,400 --> 00:10:15,268 and Grand Theft Auto, we pay the prostitutes promptly, 248 00:10:15,270 --> 00:10:17,336 and never hit them with a bat. 249 00:10:20,878 --> 00:10:23,330 Those women are prostitutes? 250 00:10:23,727 --> 00:10:26,929 You said they were raising money for stem cell research. 251 00:10:28,732 --> 00:10:31,767 Hey, guys, I got a surprise. 252 00:10:31,769 --> 00:10:34,120 Uh, if it's yogurt that helps ladies poop, 253 00:10:34,122 --> 00:10:36,122 I think Raj beat you to it. 254 00:10:36,124 --> 00:10:39,375 No. Bernadette's going to be playing with us. 255 00:10:39,377 --> 00:10:42,828 So, that's pretty cool, huh? Right? Sure it is, yeah. 256 00:10:42,830 --> 00:10:45,698 What, you invited your girlfriend?! 257 00:10:45,700 --> 00:10:47,700 This is supposed to be our weekend! 258 00:10:48,348 --> 00:10:50,481 I had no choice. Last night, she said, 259 00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:51,783 "Why don't we go out for brunch tomorrow 260 00:10:51,785 --> 00:10:54,068 and then maybe the Arboretum." And I said, "Well, no, 261 00:10:54,070 --> 00:10:55,403 "I promised the guys I was going to play 262 00:10:55,405 --> 00:10:56,871 a video game with them all weekend." 263 00:10:56,873 --> 00:10:58,740 And she said, "That sounds like fun. Can I come, too?" 264 00:10:58,742 --> 00:11:00,625 And then I didn't answer for a second, and then she said, 265 00:11:00,627 --> 00:11:01,960 "Well, do you not want me to come?" 266 00:11:01,962 --> 00:11:03,527 And then I bought her a new laptop and the game, 267 00:11:03,529 --> 00:11:05,613 and she's parking the car right now. 268 00:11:07,082 --> 00:11:09,000 Is the whip sound app 269 00:11:09,002 --> 00:11:10,969 contextually appropriate here? 270 00:11:10,971 --> 00:11:13,921 Uh, it is, but I think you might've waited too long 271 00:11:13,923 --> 00:11:15,340 for it to be funny. 272 00:11:19,996 --> 00:11:22,313 I was wrong; it's still funny. 273 00:11:22,315 --> 00:11:23,731 Oh, good. 274 00:11:29,721 --> 00:11:30,989 Oh. 275 00:11:30,991 --> 00:11:33,324 Amy, what's wrong? 276 00:11:33,326 --> 00:11:35,059 My boyfriend's a jerk. 277 00:11:36,028 --> 00:11:37,745 Well, I know he didn't cheat on you, 278 00:11:37,747 --> 00:11:38,997 so what happened? 279 00:11:40,032 --> 00:11:42,917 I had to go to my aunt's party all by myself, 280 00:11:42,919 --> 00:11:44,452 and everybody was like, 281 00:11:44,454 --> 00:11:45,953 "Where's this boyfriend you're always talking about? 282 00:11:45,955 --> 00:11:48,373 "Is he real, or did you make him up like Armen, 283 00:11:48,375 --> 00:11:51,376 the miniature horse breeder?" 284 00:11:51,378 --> 00:11:54,128 Who's Armen the miniature horse breeder? 285 00:11:54,130 --> 00:11:57,415 The pretend boyfriend I invented to get my family off my back. 286 00:11:57,417 --> 00:11:59,600 It unraveled quickly when I couldn't answer the question 287 00:11:59,602 --> 00:12:02,103 "How'd you two meet?" 288 00:12:02,105 --> 00:12:04,922 I would have thought at a miniature horse show. 289 00:12:04,924 --> 00:12:07,425 - Oh, that's good. - Mm. 290 00:12:07,427 --> 00:12:10,461 I panicked and said Woodstock. 291 00:12:11,648 --> 00:12:14,532 I just wanted to show Sheldon off to my family. 292 00:12:14,534 --> 00:12:15,783 Sure, I get that. 293 00:12:15,785 --> 00:12:18,102 I mean, he's your first boyfriend and all. 294 00:12:18,104 --> 00:12:20,321 Not just my first boyfriend, he's the best boyfriend. 295 00:12:20,323 --> 00:12:21,989 I mean, think about it. 296 00:12:21,991 --> 00:12:24,425 I'm dating Sheldon Cooper. 297 00:12:26,778 --> 00:12:27,912 Yes. 298 00:12:27,914 --> 00:12:30,498 On purpose. 299 00:12:30,500 --> 00:12:32,133 He's handsome, he's lanky, 300 00:12:32,135 --> 00:12:33,885 he's brilliant, 301 00:12:33,887 --> 00:12:37,705 and his skin has that pale, waxy quality. 302 00:12:37,707 --> 00:12:40,208 Well, sickly is the new sexy. 303 00:12:42,878 --> 00:12:45,580 - Yeah. - Mm. 304 00:12:45,582 --> 00:12:47,115 You know, Amy, 305 00:12:47,117 --> 00:12:49,767 sometimes when you're in a relationship with someone 306 00:12:49,769 --> 00:12:51,652 you really care about, the sucky part is, 307 00:12:51,654 --> 00:12:53,271 it leaves you open to getting hurt. 308 00:12:53,273 --> 00:12:56,107 Do you ever worry about Leonard doing that to you? 309 00:12:56,109 --> 00:12:58,926 That's hilarious. No. 310 00:13:01,146 --> 00:13:02,914 Get that guy! Get that guy! 311 00:13:02,916 --> 00:13:05,649 Pew! Pew! Pew! Pew! 312 00:13:06,502 --> 00:13:07,435 Dr. Rostenkowski, 313 00:13:07,437 --> 00:13:08,836 it may interest you to know 314 00:13:08,838 --> 00:13:11,539 that saying "pew, pew, pew" isn't as effective 315 00:13:11,541 --> 00:13:14,008 as pressing your blaster key. 316 00:13:14,010 --> 00:13:16,094 In the same way that saying "whee!" 317 00:13:16,096 --> 00:13:18,546 doesn't make the land speeder go. 318 00:13:20,332 --> 00:13:22,517 Pew! 319 00:13:23,969 --> 00:13:25,603 Raj, Imperial Troopers on your tail. 320 00:13:25,605 --> 00:13:27,221 Got him. 321 00:13:27,223 --> 00:13:30,108 When Gandhi advocated his philosophy of non-violence, 322 00:13:30,110 --> 00:13:34,262 I bet he didn't know how much fun it was killing stuff. 323 00:13:34,264 --> 00:13:36,847 All right, I think we got them all. 324 00:13:36,849 --> 00:13:38,449 Let's divide up the loot. 325 00:13:38,451 --> 00:13:40,985 Ooh, look at this pretty purple robe I just got. 326 00:13:40,987 --> 00:13:43,454 You should put on yours and then we'll match. 327 00:13:43,456 --> 00:13:46,357 But I worked hard to get this armor. 328 00:13:46,359 --> 00:13:47,875 Sorry, I just thought it'd be nice 329 00:13:47,877 --> 00:13:51,045 if people knew we were a couple. 330 00:13:51,047 --> 00:13:53,030 Fine, I'll change. 331 00:14:06,145 --> 00:14:07,921 I don't think I want to play a game. 332 00:14:07,946 --> 00:14:08,797 Oh, come on! 333 00:14:08,798 --> 00:14:10,062 They're playing one across the hall-- 334 00:14:10,087 --> 00:14:11,287 we should, too. 335 00:14:11,351 --> 00:14:13,818 Okay, we are gonna take turns bouncing a quarter 336 00:14:13,820 --> 00:14:16,187 off the table, and if it goes into this cup, 337 00:14:16,189 --> 00:14:17,605 the other person has to drink. 338 00:14:17,607 --> 00:14:19,190 Then you get to go again... 339 00:14:23,846 --> 00:14:25,363 Like that? 340 00:14:25,365 --> 00:14:27,532 Wow. Yeah, b-beginner's luck. 341 00:14:27,534 --> 00:14:31,452 So, now I will drink this entire cup of beer, and you 342 00:14:31,454 --> 00:14:33,704 will go again... 343 00:14:35,824 --> 00:14:37,074 Uh... 344 00:14:37,076 --> 00:14:39,210 All right. So, yeah, okay, now I'm gonna 345 00:14:39,212 --> 00:14:42,513 drink this entire cup and then I'm going to drink another one. 346 00:14:42,515 --> 00:14:46,000 Okay, seriously, stop. What the hell? 347 00:14:46,002 --> 00:14:47,468 Spent a lot of my childhood 348 00:14:47,470 --> 00:14:49,753 throwing coins into wishing wells hoping for friends. 349 00:14:49,755 --> 00:14:51,772 At a certain point, you start doing trick shots 350 00:14:51,774 --> 00:14:54,091 just to keep things interesting. 351 00:14:54,093 --> 00:14:57,278 Whoa, give me a second to catch up here. Hold on. 352 00:14:58,798 --> 00:15:00,548 That'd be my boyfriend 353 00:15:00,550 --> 00:15:01,899 happier playing 354 00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:03,618 his dopey Star Trek game with his friends 355 00:15:03,620 --> 00:15:04,735 than hanging out with me. 356 00:15:04,737 --> 00:15:07,038 - Wars. - What? 357 00:15:07,040 --> 00:15:08,122 Star Wars. 358 00:15:08,124 --> 00:15:10,291 They get all cranky when you mix the two up. 359 00:15:10,293 --> 00:15:11,375 What's the difference? 360 00:15:11,377 --> 00:15:14,128 There's absolutely no difference. 361 00:15:16,215 --> 00:15:18,916 How do I get him to treat me better? 362 00:15:18,918 --> 00:15:20,084 All right. 363 00:15:20,086 --> 00:15:22,253 Let me give you a little girlfriend 101. 364 00:15:22,255 --> 00:15:24,422 Usually the first move out of the gate 365 00:15:24,424 --> 00:15:25,723 is you withhold sex, 366 00:15:25,725 --> 00:15:28,292 but that will work better after Sheldon hits puberty. 367 00:15:28,294 --> 00:15:31,812 So, I'd say... 368 00:15:31,814 --> 00:15:33,764 give him the silent treatment. 369 00:15:33,766 --> 00:15:35,733 No, he loves that. Hmm. 370 00:15:35,735 --> 00:15:37,768 Our record for sitting in a room together 371 00:15:37,770 --> 00:15:40,821 and not speaking to each other is six-and-a half hours. 372 00:15:40,823 --> 00:15:43,524 He said it was a magical evening. 373 00:15:43,526 --> 00:15:45,476 All right, then we're gonna have to go 374 00:15:45,478 --> 00:15:46,744 with an oldie but goodie; 375 00:15:46,746 --> 00:15:47,862 making a scene. 376 00:15:47,864 --> 00:15:50,164 I don't think I'd be good at that. 377 00:15:50,166 --> 00:15:51,616 That's why you're lucky to have me. 378 00:15:51,618 --> 00:15:53,534 Back in Omaha, there are two different restaurants 379 00:15:53,536 --> 00:15:55,102 I'm not allowed into. Both Chili's. 380 00:15:59,007 --> 00:16:00,625 Bernadette, remember, your character's 381 00:16:00,627 --> 00:16:02,376 the healer in our group. 382 00:16:02,378 --> 00:16:05,096 You're in charge of healing all of us, not just Howard. 383 00:16:05,098 --> 00:16:06,847 I can't help it. 384 00:16:06,849 --> 00:16:09,667 My Howie Wowie has an owie. 385 00:16:10,602 --> 00:16:13,304 That is the most sickeningly sweet thing 386 00:16:13,306 --> 00:16:15,139 I have ever experienced. 387 00:16:15,141 --> 00:16:20,678 And I am sipping Kool-Aid through a Red Vine. 388 00:16:20,680 --> 00:16:23,614 Sheldon Cooper, I've got a bone to pick with you, 389 00:16:23,616 --> 00:16:26,317 and I'm about to do it in front of all your friends. 390 00:16:26,319 --> 00:16:30,187 Yeah, you pick that bone. You pick that bone clean! 391 00:16:30,189 --> 00:16:31,372 I'm gonna publicly shame you, 392 00:16:31,374 --> 00:16:33,741 and then sit back as societal pressure compels you 393 00:16:33,743 --> 00:16:34,959 to modify your behavior. 394 00:16:34,961 --> 00:16:37,528 Ooh, buuurn! 395 00:16:38,547 --> 00:16:40,331 And if you don't start treating me better, 396 00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:41,382 I'm leaving you 397 00:16:41,384 --> 00:16:44,034 for a miniature horse breeder named Armen. 398 00:16:44,836 --> 00:16:46,887 Armen who? 399 00:16:46,889 --> 00:16:48,556 Armen... damn it. 400 00:16:51,042 --> 00:16:53,978 Look, Sheldon, she wanted to show you off to her family, 401 00:16:53,980 --> 00:16:55,763 and you stood her up, okay? 402 00:16:55,765 --> 00:16:58,549 Look at this adorable, smushy face. 403 00:16:58,551 --> 00:17:01,552 Smush, smush, smush. 404 00:17:01,554 --> 00:17:03,053 You're hurting me. 405 00:17:03,055 --> 00:17:05,990 No, Sheldon hurt you. 406 00:17:05,992 --> 00:17:08,025 Before; now it's you. 407 00:17:08,027 --> 00:17:09,860 Oh. 408 00:17:09,862 --> 00:17:12,680 I think I understand. 409 00:17:12,682 --> 00:17:13,781 You're the one person 410 00:17:13,783 --> 00:17:16,334 who can say Sheldon Cooper is your boyfriend, 411 00:17:16,336 --> 00:17:19,120 but that rings hollow if you can't lord him 412 00:17:19,122 --> 00:17:21,038 over others in the flesh. 413 00:17:22,507 --> 00:17:23,591 I forget what I bring 414 00:17:23,593 --> 00:17:25,459 to the party and what I take away 415 00:17:25,461 --> 00:17:27,261 when I leave. 416 00:17:27,263 --> 00:17:32,099 Please accept these valuable Cooper Coupons... 417 00:17:33,769 --> 00:17:36,187 ...as restitution. 418 00:17:36,189 --> 00:17:37,555 Sheldon, she doesn't want your stupid... 419 00:17:37,557 --> 00:17:39,357 Ooh, Science Center. Redeeming. 420 00:17:39,359 --> 00:17:41,759 Let's go. 421 00:17:42,811 --> 00:17:44,695 Well played, Amy Farrah Fowler. 422 00:17:44,697 --> 00:17:46,564 Let me get my coat. 423 00:17:48,134 --> 00:17:49,817 Oh, grow up, Leonard. 424 00:17:49,819 --> 00:17:51,819 But e-excuse me, 425 00:17:51,821 --> 00:17:53,937 I have something to say. 426 00:17:54,956 --> 00:17:57,875 None of you may realize it, but I was very much 427 00:17:57,877 --> 00:17:59,660 looking forward to this weekend. 428 00:17:59,662 --> 00:18:00,745 It was gonna be like 429 00:18:00,747 --> 00:18:03,247 the old days-- the four of us hanging out 430 00:18:03,249 --> 00:18:04,965 playing video games before you guys 431 00:18:04,967 --> 00:18:06,634 all got girlfriends. 432 00:18:06,636 --> 00:18:08,552 Do you have any idea what it's like 433 00:18:08,554 --> 00:18:10,971 to be the only one without a girlfriend? 434 00:18:10,973 --> 00:18:12,506 Even if I get one someday, 435 00:18:12,508 --> 00:18:14,508 I'll still be the guy who got a girl 436 00:18:14,510 --> 00:18:17,311 after Sheldon Cooper! 437 00:18:21,566 --> 00:18:24,802 And that's how a girl makes a scene. 438 00:18:29,524 --> 00:18:30,524 I'm sorry, sweetie. 439 00:18:30,526 --> 00:18:32,159 You're right. You deserve your weekend. 440 00:18:32,161 --> 00:18:33,360 Come on, Amy, let's go. 441 00:18:33,362 --> 00:18:35,162 What about the Science Center? 442 00:18:35,164 --> 00:18:38,332 I'll let you hold my hair while I throw up. 443 00:18:39,034 --> 00:18:41,252 Rain check. 444 00:18:42,287 --> 00:18:43,537 I'm gonna go, too. 445 00:18:43,539 --> 00:18:45,289 - I'll miss you. - I'll miss you. 446 00:18:45,291 --> 00:18:47,208 - I'll miss you more. - No, I'll... 447 00:18:47,210 --> 00:18:49,593 Just leave! 448 00:18:52,497 --> 00:18:54,498 Okay, now. 449 00:18:54,500 --> 00:18:56,383 This is the way it's supposed to be. 450 00:18:56,385 --> 00:18:58,719 Men together, fighting the forces of evil. 451 00:18:58,721 --> 00:19:00,855 Hear! Hear! 452 00:19:02,942 --> 00:19:05,843 I can't believe this is only 64 calories. 453 00:19:20,501 --> 00:19:22,194 Howard Joel Wolowitz! 454 00:19:22,195 --> 00:19:24,228 I've been worried sick for two days, 455 00:19:24,230 --> 00:19:26,764 and I know you turned off your phone! 456 00:19:29,134 --> 00:19:31,118 You open up this door right now 457 00:19:31,120 --> 00:19:32,820 because I've had it up to here! 458 00:19:32,822 --> 00:19:34,738 I have been to the morgue and the hospital, 459 00:19:34,740 --> 00:19:36,173 and I spent the last half hour 460 00:19:36,175 --> 00:19:39,843 walking up these ferkakta stairs! 461 00:19:42,864 --> 00:19:45,099 That's my ride; got to go. 462 00:19:48,521 --> 00:19:52,021 == sync, corrected by elderman ==