1 00:00:01,627 --> 00:00:03,645 Hey, want to spend some time playing the new 2 00:00:03,647 --> 00:00:04,946 Star Wars game this weekend? 3 00:00:04,948 --> 00:00:06,965 Oh, I don't know. I kind of promised myself 4 00:00:06,967 --> 00:00:09,401 I'd get off the computer, be more physically active. 5 00:00:09,403 --> 00:00:10,619 Get some exercise... 6 00:00:10,621 --> 00:00:13,655 You're about to walk up three flights of stairs. 7 00:00:15,775 --> 00:00:18,293 Good point, I'm in. 8 00:00:18,295 --> 00:00:19,878 You know what would be great? 9 00:00:19,880 --> 00:00:22,164 Let's do it like the old days. 10 00:00:22,166 --> 00:00:24,115 You mean, are you talking gaming marathon? 11 00:00:24,117 --> 00:00:25,917 Yeah. Start Saturday morning, 12 00:00:25,919 --> 00:00:27,285 go 48 hours, 13 00:00:27,287 --> 00:00:29,254 sleeping bags, junk food... 14 00:00:29,256 --> 00:00:31,956 Turn off our phones so our moms can't call. 15 00:00:34,260 --> 00:00:36,561 It would be like our World Of Warcraft a few years ago 16 00:00:36,563 --> 00:00:38,230 when the neighbors called the cops on us. 17 00:00:39,733 --> 00:00:41,099 They called the cops because of the smell. 18 00:00:41,101 --> 00:00:43,301 They thought we were dead. 19 00:00:45,805 --> 00:00:48,306 We were badass back in the day. 20 00:00:50,326 --> 00:00:51,693 All right, let's do it. 21 00:00:51,695 --> 00:00:53,745 48 hours of Star Wars gaming. 22 00:00:53,747 --> 00:00:55,831 It's on like Alderaan. 23 00:00:57,418 --> 00:00:59,251 Hey, Sheldon, 24 00:00:59,253 --> 00:01:01,002 clear your weekend. Starting Saturday morning, 25 00:01:01,004 --> 00:01:02,504 Star Wars marathon Whoohoo! 26 00:01:02,506 --> 00:01:04,289 Movies or video games? 27 00:01:04,291 --> 00:01:05,357 No, board game? 28 00:01:05,359 --> 00:01:06,491 Or trading card games? 29 00:01:06,493 --> 00:01:08,043 Or Lego's? Or dress up? 30 00:01:08,045 --> 00:01:09,127 Or comic books?! 31 00:01:09,129 --> 00:01:10,912 Or dramatic readings of novelizations?! 32 00:01:10,914 --> 00:01:13,498 Yes to all! 33 00:01:13,500 --> 00:01:17,018 We are going to play the online game. 34 00:01:17,020 --> 00:01:18,270 The online game?! 35 00:01:18,272 --> 00:01:20,555 Bully! 36 00:01:20,557 --> 00:01:23,225 Gentlemen, as much as I'm sure Sheldon would enjoy 37 00:01:23,227 --> 00:01:25,110 playing intergalactic make-believe, 38 00:01:25,112 --> 00:01:26,528 he and I have other plans. 39 00:01:26,530 --> 00:01:29,297 We are attending my Aunt Flora's 93rd birthday party. 40 00:01:29,299 --> 00:01:31,616 Just tell her I can't come. 41 00:01:31,618 --> 00:01:34,018 She'll be disappointed if we don't show up. 44 00:01:39,175 --> 00:01:41,910 No, hang on. I followed all the protocols 45 00:01:41,912 --> 00:01:43,879 set forth by you in the relationship agreement. 46 00:01:43,881 --> 00:01:47,466 I made a written record request 72 hours in advance. 47 00:01:48,367 --> 00:01:50,535 I checked the tire pressure on the car. 48 00:01:50,537 --> 00:01:52,838 I even contacted the Centers For Disease Control to find out 49 00:01:52,840 --> 00:01:56,091 what shots they recommend for travel to Orange County. 50 00:01:57,009 --> 00:01:59,761 FYI, it's none. 51 00:01:59,763 --> 00:02:01,646 Amy, the relationship agreement was not designed 52 00:02:01,648 --> 00:02:04,733 for either one of us to get our way. 53 00:02:04,735 --> 00:02:06,685 You use it to get your way. 54 00:02:06,687 --> 00:02:09,104 I use it to get the right way. 55 00:02:10,239 --> 00:02:11,773 The fact that the right way is 56 00:02:11,775 --> 00:02:13,992 also my way is a happy coincidence. 57 00:02:15,545 --> 00:02:16,895 You gave me your word. 58 00:02:16,897 --> 00:02:18,113 You're coming with me. 59 00:02:18,115 --> 00:02:19,314 We'll miss you, Sheldon. 60 00:02:19,316 --> 00:02:21,065 Yeah, well, 61 00:02:21,067 --> 00:02:23,034 who wants to spend the whole weekend, running around 62 00:02:23,036 --> 00:02:25,837 a bunch of pretend planets battling made up monsters. 63 00:02:25,839 --> 00:02:28,089 That's for babies. 64 00:02:28,091 --> 00:02:29,674 Yeah, but it's got lightsabers. 65 00:02:29,676 --> 00:02:33,345 Yeah, please, Amy! It's got lightsabers! 66 00:02:33,347 --> 00:02:36,915 ♪ Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state ♪ 67 00:02:36,917 --> 00:02:40,585 ♪ Then nearly 14 billion years ago expansion started... Wait! ♪ 68 00:02:40,587 --> 00:02:42,103 ♪ The Earth began to cool 69 00:02:42,105 --> 00:02:44,890 ♪ The autotrophs began to drool, Neanderthals developed tools ♪ 70 00:02:44,892 --> 00:02:47,042 ♪ We built the Wall ♪ We built the pyramids ♪ 71 00:02:47,044 --> 00:02:49,761 ♪ Math, Science, History, unraveling the mystery ♪ 72 00:02:49,763 --> 00:02:51,646 ♪ That all started with a big bang ♪ 73 00:02:51,648 --> 00:02:53,698 ♪ Bang! ♪ 74 00:02:53,723 --> 00:02:56,423 The Big Bang Theory 5x19 The Weekend Vortex Original Air Date on March 8, 2012 75 00:02:56,424 --> 00:02:59,124 == sync, corrected by elderman == 76 00:02:59,142 --> 00:03:01,076 - Hello Stuart. - Hey Sheldon. 77 00:03:01,101 --> 00:03:02,212 Help you with anything? 78 00:03:02,237 --> 00:03:06,949 Yes. I'm attending a party this weekend, for a 93-year-old woman. 79 00:03:08,237 --> 00:03:09,818 Can you recommend a gift? 80 00:03:11,004 --> 00:03:13,505 Uh, I don't know. 81 00:03:13,507 --> 00:03:16,153 Could put a tennis ball on the end of Excalibur. 82 00:03:16,154 --> 00:03:18,354 Make a pretty badass cane. 83 00:03:19,825 --> 00:03:21,910 Do you supply the the tennis balls? No. 84 00:03:21,912 --> 00:03:23,261 Then no. 85 00:03:24,980 --> 00:03:25,864 What else? 86 00:03:25,866 --> 00:03:27,031 Hmm... 87 00:03:27,033 --> 00:03:30,168 Oh, have this collectors edition 88 00:03:30,170 --> 00:03:31,502 Batman utility belt. 89 00:03:31,504 --> 00:03:34,756 Maybe she can use it as a wearable pill caddy. 90 00:03:36,208 --> 00:03:38,509 Well, she'd just look silly wearing that 91 00:03:38,511 --> 00:03:39,994 without the rest of the costume. 92 00:03:42,965 --> 00:03:45,383 I'm sorry Sheldon, that's it. That's all I got. 93 00:03:45,385 --> 00:03:46,500 Oh, it's not your fault. 94 00:03:46,502 --> 00:03:48,219 I've been to the model train store. 95 00:03:48,221 --> 00:03:49,837 I've been to Radio Shack. 96 00:03:49,839 --> 00:03:52,390 This woman is impossible to shop for. 97 00:03:52,392 --> 00:03:55,276 I'd make fun of Sheldon for having girl problems 98 00:03:55,278 --> 00:03:58,546 if I wasn't in shock that Sheldon has girl problems. 99 00:03:58,548 --> 00:04:01,515 No, Leonard, go ahead and mock. 100 00:04:01,517 --> 00:04:05,103 Like my daddy always said, "Shelly, women aren't anything 101 00:04:05,105 --> 00:04:07,272 but flippin' pains in the bottom." 102 00:04:09,475 --> 00:04:11,075 That's what your father used to say? 103 00:04:11,077 --> 00:04:14,162 Well, I took out the bad words and the yeehaw, 104 00:04:14,164 --> 00:04:16,214 but you get the gist. 105 00:04:17,132 --> 00:04:18,466 Look, if you don't want to go 106 00:04:18,468 --> 00:04:19,867 to the party, just don't go. 107 00:04:19,869 --> 00:04:20,868 You're a grown man. 108 00:04:20,870 --> 00:04:22,203 Act like one. 109 00:04:22,205 --> 00:04:24,889 Tell Amy you want to spend the weekend having a sleepover 110 00:04:24,891 --> 00:04:27,141 and playing video games with your friends. 111 00:04:28,143 --> 00:04:29,594 Maybe she'll dig it. 112 00:04:29,596 --> 00:04:32,480 Women like a firm hand on the tiller. 113 00:04:32,482 --> 00:04:34,332 I can never find the tiller. 114 00:04:37,186 --> 00:04:40,688 I got a book; it didn't help. 115 00:04:40,690 --> 00:04:43,441 Yeah, I always thought if I were ever enslaved, 116 00:04:43,443 --> 00:04:46,694 it would be by an advanced species from another planet, 117 00:04:46,696 --> 00:04:50,415 not some hotsy-totsy from Glendale. 118 00:04:50,417 --> 00:04:52,617 Now, I downloaded an app that 119 00:04:52,619 --> 00:04:55,753 might be helpful in this situation. 120 00:05:00,243 --> 00:05:02,110 You're right. 121 00:05:02,112 --> 00:05:05,480 I'm smart as a whip. I should be able to figure this out. 122 00:05:08,583 --> 00:05:10,551 Hey, listen, I kind of made plans 123 00:05:10,553 --> 00:05:12,854 with the guys this weekend, but then I wondered, 124 00:05:12,856 --> 00:05:14,939 because we're in this relationship-beta-test, 125 00:05:14,941 --> 00:05:16,774 if I should have asked you first. 126 00:05:16,776 --> 00:05:19,727 Then I thought if I did check with you first, 127 00:05:19,729 --> 00:05:22,814 then you'd think that I was taking things too seriously. 128 00:05:22,816 --> 00:05:25,266 And then-en I got a nosebleed. 129 00:05:25,268 --> 00:05:27,819 You don't have to check with me. 130 00:05:27,821 --> 00:05:29,821 Do whatever you want. 131 00:05:29,823 --> 00:05:31,489 Oh. 132 00:05:31,491 --> 00:05:34,375 I guess I was hoping for a different reaction, but okay. 133 00:05:34,377 --> 00:05:36,411 Really, what were you hoping for? 134 00:05:36,413 --> 00:05:37,795 I don't know, 135 00:05:37,797 --> 00:05:39,797 maybe that you'd be a little upset, 136 00:05:39,799 --> 00:05:41,883 and then you'd realize that 137 00:05:41,885 --> 00:05:44,135 I'm a stallion that has to run free. 138 00:05:48,057 --> 00:05:50,508 And that would turn you on a little. 139 00:05:50,510 --> 00:05:54,295 Okay, I'm an actress. Ask me again. 140 00:05:54,297 --> 00:05:56,564 Do you mind if I spend the weekend 141 00:05:56,566 --> 00:05:58,182 playing video games with the guys? 142 00:05:58,184 --> 00:06:00,151 Wha... the entire weekend? 143 00:06:00,153 --> 00:06:01,819 You mean I wouldn't see you at all? 144 00:06:01,821 --> 00:06:02,770 But I j... 145 00:06:02,772 --> 00:06:03,637 No, no... 146 00:06:03,639 --> 00:06:06,324 I knew what I was getting into. 147 00:06:06,326 --> 00:06:09,644 You can't put a saddle on Leonard Hofstadter. 148 00:06:11,497 --> 00:06:14,148 Oh, my, is it getting hot in here? 149 00:06:14,150 --> 00:06:16,451 Ay,papi. 150 00:06:16,453 --> 00:06:19,337 ¿Ay papi? 151 00:06:19,339 --> 00:06:20,755 What is that? 152 00:06:20,757 --> 00:06:23,141 - An acting choice. - Oh. 153 00:06:23,143 --> 00:06:25,543 So you chose that when you become turned on, 154 00:06:25,545 --> 00:06:28,429 you turn into Speedy Gonzalez? 155 00:06:28,431 --> 00:06:32,083 Choo got a problem with that, papi? 156 00:06:33,018 --> 00:06:34,552 Uh-uh. 157 00:06:34,554 --> 00:06:38,439 Penny! Penny! Penny! 158 00:06:38,441 --> 00:06:39,724 Sorry, Stallion. 159 00:06:39,726 --> 00:06:41,976 Your weird friend Giraffe is here. 160 00:06:44,113 --> 00:06:45,679 Hello, Penny! 161 00:06:45,681 --> 00:06:48,399 I just stopped by to bring you this gift. 162 00:06:48,401 --> 00:06:50,017 Gummy bears? Thank you. 163 00:06:50,019 --> 00:06:52,019 Now that you're in my debt... 164 00:06:53,522 --> 00:06:56,190 ...please manipulate Amy into releasing me from my 165 00:06:56,192 --> 00:06:59,744 commitment to attend her aunt's tedious birthday party. 166 00:06:59,746 --> 00:07:00,995 Not a chance. 167 00:07:00,997 --> 00:07:02,246 All right. 168 00:07:02,248 --> 00:07:03,881 I thought the candy might not be enough 169 00:07:03,883 --> 00:07:06,084 so let me up the ante. 170 00:07:06,086 --> 00:07:08,086 These are Cooper Coupons. 171 00:07:08,088 --> 00:07:11,172 These are for various things I can do for you. 172 00:07:11,174 --> 00:07:12,673 Um, oh, this one 173 00:07:12,675 --> 00:07:14,892 is for one free grammar check. 174 00:07:14,894 --> 00:07:16,427 Uh... 175 00:07:16,429 --> 00:07:18,596 You could use it for emails, letters, 176 00:07:18,598 --> 00:07:19,931 tattoos, what have you. 177 00:07:19,933 --> 00:07:21,599 Um... 178 00:07:21,601 --> 00:07:23,017 Oh, this is fun one! 179 00:07:23,019 --> 00:07:26,404 This is an afternoon with me at the California Science Center, 180 00:07:26,406 --> 00:07:29,407 where I point out their mistakes. 181 00:07:29,409 --> 00:07:32,226 Keep an eye on those expiration dates, 182 00:07:32,228 --> 00:07:34,328 I've been burned more than once. 183 00:07:34,330 --> 00:07:36,781 All right, sweetie, I'm not going to get involved 184 00:07:36,783 --> 00:07:37,915 in your relationship. 185 00:07:37,917 --> 00:07:40,284 Oh, come on. It's just a simple favor. 186 00:07:40,286 --> 00:07:41,419 Now, when's the last time I asked you 187 00:07:41,421 --> 00:07:42,420 to do something for me? 188 00:07:42,422 --> 00:07:44,622 Yesterday. You made me look in your ear 189 00:07:44,624 --> 00:07:46,624 to see if there was a ladybug in it. 190 00:07:46,626 --> 00:07:49,577 When is the last time I asked you to do something 191 00:07:49,579 --> 00:07:50,911 that wasn't a medical emergency? 192 00:07:50,913 --> 00:07:52,630 Yesterday. You made me look in your ear 193 00:07:52,632 --> 00:07:54,832 to see if there was a ladybug in it. 194 00:07:56,084 --> 00:07:57,602 All right, then, I have no choice 195 00:07:57,604 --> 00:07:58,919 but to go on to plan B. 196 00:07:58,921 --> 00:08:00,087 What's that? 197 00:08:00,089 --> 00:08:01,255 I'm going to run around outside 198 00:08:01,257 --> 00:08:03,257 with a wet head and try to catch a cold. 199 00:08:07,479 --> 00:08:08,696 Good morning. 200 00:08:08,698 --> 00:08:10,364 Hello. 201 00:08:10,366 --> 00:08:12,650 I think you're really going to enjoy yourself today. 202 00:08:12,652 --> 00:08:14,318 Not only do you get to meet my relatives, 203 00:08:14,320 --> 00:08:16,704 but since you aunt's nursing home is catering the party, 204 00:08:16,706 --> 00:08:18,322 all of the food is incredibly soft. 205 00:08:18,324 --> 00:08:20,708 It's like a vacation for your teeth. 206 00:08:20,710 --> 00:08:22,276 All right. 207 00:08:23,945 --> 00:08:25,580 You sure you're okay with this? 208 00:08:25,582 --> 00:08:26,964 Yes. 209 00:08:26,966 --> 00:08:29,300 I decided to find a way that I could 210 00:08:29,302 --> 00:08:31,785 have this experience and enjoy it. 211 00:08:31,787 --> 00:08:34,589 Thank you. That means a lot to me. 212 00:08:34,591 --> 00:08:36,007 Oh, don't thank me. 213 00:08:36,009 --> 00:08:37,458 Thank wireless technology. 214 00:08:37,460 --> 00:08:40,728 I realized, I can go to your aunt's awful party 215 00:08:40,730 --> 00:08:44,899 and still spend the whole day gaming with my friends. 216 00:08:44,901 --> 00:08:48,019 Sheldon, my relatives are going to want to talk to you, 217 00:08:48,021 --> 00:08:50,738 and you're going to be sitting there playing a game? 218 00:08:50,740 --> 00:08:52,356 Isn't that a little rude? 219 00:08:52,358 --> 00:08:54,492 Oh, I got that covered. 220 00:08:54,494 --> 00:08:56,194 Headset. 221 00:08:56,196 --> 00:08:59,113 I won't hear a word the old geezers are saying. 222 00:09:01,366 --> 00:09:04,335 You know, if playing that game is more important to you 223 00:09:04,337 --> 00:09:05,786 than honoring your commitment to me, 224 00:09:05,788 --> 00:09:08,172 and you don't mind me showing up at a party all by myself 225 00:09:08,174 --> 00:09:09,323 after I've already told everybody 226 00:09:09,325 --> 00:09:11,425 I'll be bringing somebody, then, fine. 227 00:09:11,427 --> 00:09:12,927 Go home and play your game. 228 00:09:15,430 --> 00:09:16,797 Thanks. 229 00:09:18,333 --> 00:09:19,500 Ooh, listen, 230 00:09:19,502 --> 00:09:22,687 I wouldn't mind a piece of birthday cake, 231 00:09:22,689 --> 00:09:27,341 provided the old gal's candle blow is clean and dry. 232 00:09:33,863 --> 00:09:35,222 Here you go. 233 00:09:35,223 --> 00:09:37,473 I've got everything we'll need for the big game: 234 00:09:37,475 --> 00:09:39,975 lowfat turkey jerky... 235 00:09:39,977 --> 00:09:43,212 low-carb beer... 236 00:09:43,214 --> 00:09:46,015 100-calorie snack pack... 237 00:09:46,017 --> 00:09:48,767 You pick up a Y chromosome while you were there? 238 00:09:48,769 --> 00:09:50,352 You might be short one. 239 00:09:50,354 --> 00:09:52,972 Hey, I plan on leveling up in the game, 240 00:09:52,974 --> 00:09:56,108 not my swimsuit size, thank you very much. 241 00:09:56,110 --> 00:09:58,393 Gentlemen, the game offers us a choice, 242 00:09:58,395 --> 00:10:01,247 between playing for the Republic and the light side, 243 00:10:01,249 --> 00:10:04,333 or the Sith Empire and the dark side. 244 00:10:04,335 --> 00:10:05,784 Well, we're always the good guys. 245 00:10:05,786 --> 00:10:07,286 In D&D, we're lawful good, 246 00:10:07,288 --> 00:10:08,971 in City Of Heroes, we're the heroes, 247 00:10:08,973 --> 00:10:11,841 and Grand Theft Auto, we pay the prostitutes promptly, 248 00:10:11,843 --> 00:10:13,909 and never hit them with a bat. 249 00:10:17,451 --> 00:10:19,903 Those women are prostitutes? 250 00:10:20,300 --> 00:10:23,502 You said they were raising money for stem cell research. 251 00:10:25,305 --> 00:10:28,340 Hey, guys, I got a surprise. 252 00:10:28,342 --> 00:10:30,693 Uh, if it's yogurt that helps ladies poop, 253 00:10:30,695 --> 00:10:32,695 I think Raj beat you to it. 254 00:10:32,697 --> 00:10:35,948 No. Bernadette's going to be playing with us. 255 00:10:35,950 --> 00:10:39,401 So, that's pretty cool, huh? Right? Sure it is, yeah. 256 00:10:39,403 --> 00:10:42,271 What, you invited your girlfriend?! 257 00:10:42,273 --> 00:10:44,273 This is supposed to be our weekend! 258 00:10:44,921 --> 00:10:47,054 I had no choice. Last night, she said, 259 00:10:47,056 --> 00:10:48,356 "Why don't we go out for brunch tomorrow 260 00:10:48,358 --> 00:10:50,641 and then maybe the Arboretum." And I said, "Well, no, 261 00:10:50,643 --> 00:10:51,976 "I promised the guys I was going to play 262 00:10:51,978 --> 00:10:53,444 a video game with them all weekend." 263 00:10:53,446 --> 00:10:55,313 And she said, "That sounds like fun. Can I come, too?" 264 00:10:55,315 --> 00:10:57,198 And then I didn't answer for a second, and then she said, 265 00:10:57,200 --> 00:10:58,533 "Well, do you not want me to come?" 266 00:10:58,535 --> 00:11:00,100 And then I bought her a new laptop and the game, 267 00:11:00,102 --> 00:11:02,186 and she's parking the car right now. 268 00:11:03,655 --> 00:11:05,573 Is the whip sound app 269 00:11:05,575 --> 00:11:07,542 contextually appropriate here? 270 00:11:07,544 --> 00:11:10,494 Uh, it is, but I think you might've waited too long 271 00:11:10,496 --> 00:11:11,913 for it to be funny. 272 00:11:16,569 --> 00:11:18,886 I was wrong; it's still funny. 273 00:11:18,888 --> 00:11:20,304 Oh, good. 274 00:11:26,294 --> 00:11:27,562 Oh. 275 00:11:27,564 --> 00:11:29,897 Amy, what's wrong? 276 00:11:29,899 --> 00:11:31,632 My boyfriend's a jerk. 277 00:11:32,601 --> 00:11:34,318 Well, I know he didn't cheat on you, 278 00:11:34,320 --> 00:11:35,570 so what happened? 279 00:11:36,605 --> 00:11:39,490 I had to go to my aunt's party all by myself, 280 00:11:39,492 --> 00:11:41,025 and everybody was like, 281 00:11:41,027 --> 00:11:42,526 "Where's this boyfriend you're always talking about? 282 00:11:42,528 --> 00:11:44,946 "Is he real, or did you make him up like Armen, 283 00:11:44,948 --> 00:11:47,949 the miniature horse breeder?" 284 00:11:47,951 --> 00:11:50,701 Who's Armen the miniature horse breeder? 285 00:11:50,703 --> 00:11:53,988 The pretend boyfriend I invented to get my family off my back. 286 00:11:53,990 --> 00:11:56,173 It unraveled quickly when I couldn't answer the question 287 00:11:56,175 --> 00:11:58,676 "How'd you two meet?" 288 00:11:58,678 --> 00:12:01,495 I would have thought at a miniature horse show. 289 00:12:01,497 --> 00:12:03,998 - Oh, that's good. - Mm. 290 00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:07,034 I panicked and said Woodstock. 291 00:12:08,221 --> 00:12:11,105 I just wanted to show Sheldon off to my family. 292 00:12:11,107 --> 00:12:12,356 Sure, I get that. 293 00:12:12,358 --> 00:12:14,675 I mean, he's your first boyfriend and all. 294 00:12:14,677 --> 00:12:16,894 Not just my first boyfriend, he's the best boyfriend. 295 00:12:16,896 --> 00:12:18,562 I mean, think about it. 296 00:12:18,564 --> 00:12:20,998 I'm dating Sheldon Cooper. 297 00:12:23,351 --> 00:12:24,485 Yes. 298 00:12:24,487 --> 00:12:27,071 On purpose. 299 00:12:27,073 --> 00:12:28,706 He's handsome, he's lanky, 300 00:12:28,708 --> 00:12:30,458 he's brilliant, 301 00:12:30,460 --> 00:12:34,278 and his skin has that pale, waxy quality. 302 00:12:34,280 --> 00:12:36,781 Well, sickly is the new sexy. 303 00:12:39,451 --> 00:12:42,153 - Yeah. - Mm. 304 00:12:42,155 --> 00:12:43,688 You know, Amy, 305 00:12:43,690 --> 00:12:46,340 sometimes when you're in a relationship with someone 306 00:12:46,342 --> 00:12:48,225 you really care about, the sucky part is, 307 00:12:48,227 --> 00:12:49,844 it leaves you open to getting hurt. 308 00:12:49,846 --> 00:12:52,680 Do you ever worry about Leonard doing that to you? 309 00:12:52,682 --> 00:12:55,499 That's hilarious. No. 310 00:12:57,719 --> 00:12:59,487 Get that guy! Get that guy! 311 00:12:59,489 --> 00:13:02,222 Pew! Pew! Pew! Pew! 312 00:13:03,075 --> 00:13:04,008 Dr. Rostenkowski, 313 00:13:04,010 --> 00:13:05,409 it may interest you to know 314 00:13:05,411 --> 00:13:08,112 that saying "pew, pew, pew" isn't as effective 315 00:13:08,114 --> 00:13:10,581 as pressing your blaster key. 316 00:13:10,583 --> 00:13:12,667 In the same way that saying "whee!" 317 00:13:12,669 --> 00:13:15,119 doesn't make the land speeder go. 318 00:13:16,905 --> 00:13:19,090 Pew! 319 00:13:20,542 --> 00:13:22,176 Raj, Imperial Troopers on your tail. 320 00:13:22,178 --> 00:13:23,794 Got him. 321 00:13:23,796 --> 00:13:26,681 When Gandhi advocated his philosophy of non-violence, 322 00:13:26,683 --> 00:13:30,835 I bet he didn't know how much fun it was killing stuff. 323 00:13:30,837 --> 00:13:33,420 All right, I think we got them all. 324 00:13:33,422 --> 00:13:35,022 Let's divide up the loot. 325 00:13:35,024 --> 00:13:37,558 Ooh, look at this pretty purple robe I just got. 326 00:13:37,560 --> 00:13:40,027 You should put on yours and then we'll match. 327 00:13:40,029 --> 00:13:42,930 But I worked hard to get this armor. 328 00:13:42,932 --> 00:13:44,448 Sorry, I just thought it'd be nice 329 00:13:44,450 --> 00:13:47,618 if people knew we were a couple. 330 00:13:47,620 --> 00:13:49,603 Fine, I'll change. 331 00:14:02,718 --> 00:14:04,494 I don't think I want to play a game. 332 00:14:04,519 --> 00:14:05,370 Oh, come on! 333 00:14:05,371 --> 00:14:06,635 They're playing one across the hall-- 334 00:14:06,660 --> 00:14:07,860 we should, too. 335 00:14:07,924 --> 00:14:10,391 Okay, we are gonna take turns bouncing a quarter 336 00:14:10,393 --> 00:14:12,760 off the table, and if it goes into this cup, 337 00:14:12,762 --> 00:14:14,178 the other person has to drink. 338 00:14:14,180 --> 00:14:15,763 Then you get to go again... 339 00:14:20,419 --> 00:14:21,936 Like that? 340 00:14:21,938 --> 00:14:24,105 Wow. Yeah, b-beginner's luck. 341 00:14:24,107 --> 00:14:28,025 So, now I will drink this entire cup of beer, and you 342 00:14:28,027 --> 00:14:30,277 will go again... 343 00:14:32,397 --> 00:14:33,647 Uh... 344 00:14:33,649 --> 00:14:35,783 All right. So, yeah, okay, now I'm gonna 345 00:14:35,785 --> 00:14:39,086 drink this entire cup and then I'm going to drink another one. 346 00:14:39,088 --> 00:14:42,573 Okay, seriously, stop. What the hell? 347 00:14:42,575 --> 00:14:44,041 Spent a lot of my childhood 348 00:14:44,043 --> 00:14:46,326 throwing coins into wishing wells hoping for friends. 349 00:14:46,328 --> 00:14:48,345 At a certain point, you start doing trick shots 350 00:14:48,347 --> 00:14:50,664 just to keep things interesting. 351 00:14:50,666 --> 00:14:53,851 Whoa, give me a second to catch up here. Hold on. 352 00:14:55,371 --> 00:14:57,121 That'd be my boyfriend 353 00:14:57,123 --> 00:14:58,472 happier playing 354 00:14:58,474 --> 00:15:00,191 his dopey Star Trek game with his friends 355 00:15:00,193 --> 00:15:01,308 than hanging out with me. 356 00:15:01,310 --> 00:15:03,611 - Wars. - What? 357 00:15:03,613 --> 00:15:04,695 Star Wars. 358 00:15:04,697 --> 00:15:06,864 They get all cranky when you mix the two up. 359 00:15:06,866 --> 00:15:07,948 What's the difference? 360 00:15:07,950 --> 00:15:10,701 There's absolutely no difference. 361 00:15:12,788 --> 00:15:15,489 How do I get him to treat me better? 362 00:15:15,491 --> 00:15:16,657 All right. 363 00:15:16,659 --> 00:15:18,826 Let me give you a little girlfriend 101. 364 00:15:18,828 --> 00:15:20,995 Usually the first move out of the gate 365 00:15:20,997 --> 00:15:22,296 is you withhold sex, 366 00:15:22,298 --> 00:15:24,865 but that will work better after Sheldon hits puberty. 367 00:15:24,867 --> 00:15:28,385 So, I'd say... 368 00:15:28,387 --> 00:15:30,337 give him the silent treatment. 369 00:15:30,339 --> 00:15:32,306 No, he loves that. Hmm. 370 00:15:32,308 --> 00:15:34,341 Our record for sitting in a room together 371 00:15:34,343 --> 00:15:37,394 and not speaking to each other is six-and-a half hours. 372 00:15:37,396 --> 00:15:40,097 He said it was a magical evening. 373 00:15:40,099 --> 00:15:42,049 All right, then we're gonna have to go 374 00:15:42,051 --> 00:15:43,317 with an oldie but goodie; 375 00:15:43,319 --> 00:15:44,435 making a scene. 376 00:15:44,437 --> 00:15:46,737 I don't think I'd be good at that. 377 00:15:46,739 --> 00:15:48,189 That's why you're lucky to have me. 378 00:15:48,191 --> 00:15:50,107 Back in Omaha, there are two different restaurants 379 00:15:50,109 --> 00:15:51,675 I'm not allowed into. Both Chili's. 380 00:15:55,580 --> 00:15:57,198 Bernadette, remember, your character's 381 00:15:57,200 --> 00:15:58,949 the healer in our group. 382 00:15:58,951 --> 00:16:01,669 You're in charge of healing all of us, not just Howard. 383 00:16:01,671 --> 00:16:03,420 I can't help it. 384 00:16:03,422 --> 00:16:06,240 My Howie Wowie has an owie. 385 00:16:07,175 --> 00:16:09,877 That is the most sickeningly sweet thing 386 00:16:09,879 --> 00:16:11,712 I have ever experienced. 387 00:16:11,714 --> 00:16:17,251 And I am sipping Kool-Aid through a Red Vine. 388 00:16:17,253 --> 00:16:20,187 Sheldon Cooper, I've got a bone to pick with you, 389 00:16:20,189 --> 00:16:22,890 and I'm about to do it in front of all your friends. 390 00:16:22,892 --> 00:16:26,760 Yeah, you pick that bone. You pick that bone clean! 391 00:16:26,762 --> 00:16:27,945 I'm gonna publicly shame you, 392 00:16:27,947 --> 00:16:30,314 and then sit back as societal pressure compels you 393 00:16:30,316 --> 00:16:31,532 to modify your behavior. 394 00:16:31,534 --> 00:16:34,101 Ooh, buuurn! 395 00:16:35,120 --> 00:16:36,904 And if you don't start treating me better, 396 00:16:36,906 --> 00:16:37,955 I'm leaving you 397 00:16:37,957 --> 00:16:40,607 for a miniature horse breeder named Armen. 398 00:16:41,409 --> 00:16:43,460 Armen who? 399 00:16:43,462 --> 00:16:45,129 Armen... damn it. 400 00:16:47,615 --> 00:16:50,551 Look, Sheldon, she wanted to show you off to her family, 401 00:16:50,553 --> 00:16:52,336 and you stood her up, okay? 402 00:16:52,338 --> 00:16:55,122 Look at this adorable, smushy face. 403 00:16:55,124 --> 00:16:58,125 Smush, smush, smush. 404 00:16:58,127 --> 00:16:59,626 You're hurting me. 405 00:16:59,628 --> 00:17:02,563 No, Sheldon hurt you. 406 00:17:02,565 --> 00:17:04,598 Before; now it's you. 407 00:17:04,600 --> 00:17:06,433 Oh. 408 00:17:06,435 --> 00:17:09,253 I think I understand. 409 00:17:09,255 --> 00:17:10,354 You're the one person 410 00:17:10,356 --> 00:17:12,907 who can say Sheldon Cooper is your boyfriend, 411 00:17:12,909 --> 00:17:15,693 but that rings hollow if you can't lord him 412 00:17:15,695 --> 00:17:17,611 over others in the flesh. 413 00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:20,164 I forget what I bring 414 00:17:20,166 --> 00:17:22,032 to the party and what I take away 415 00:17:22,034 --> 00:17:23,834 when I leave. 416 00:17:23,836 --> 00:17:28,672 Please accept these valuable Cooper Coupons... 417 00:17:30,342 --> 00:17:32,760 ...as restitution. 418 00:17:32,762 --> 00:17:34,128 Sheldon, she doesn't want your stupid... 419 00:17:34,130 --> 00:17:35,930 Ooh, Science Center. Redeeming. 420 00:17:35,932 --> 00:17:38,332 Let's go. 421 00:17:39,384 --> 00:17:41,268 Well played, Amy Farrah Fowler. 422 00:17:41,270 --> 00:17:43,137 Let me get my coat. 423 00:17:44,707 --> 00:17:46,390 Oh, grow up, Leonard. 424 00:17:46,392 --> 00:17:48,392 But e-excuse me, 425 00:17:48,394 --> 00:17:50,510 I have something to say. 426 00:17:51,529 --> 00:17:54,448 None of you may realize it, but I was very much 427 00:17:54,450 --> 00:17:56,233 looking forward to this weekend. 428 00:17:56,235 --> 00:17:57,318 It was gonna be like 429 00:17:57,320 --> 00:17:59,820 the old days-- the four of us hanging out 430 00:17:59,822 --> 00:18:01,538 playing video games before you guys 431 00:18:01,540 --> 00:18:03,207 all got girlfriends. 432 00:18:03,209 --> 00:18:05,125 Do you have any idea what it's like 433 00:18:05,127 --> 00:18:07,544 to be the only one without a girlfriend? 434 00:18:07,546 --> 00:18:09,079 Even if I get one someday, 435 00:18:09,081 --> 00:18:11,081 I'll still be the guy who got a girl 436 00:18:11,083 --> 00:18:13,884 after Sheldon Cooper! 437 00:18:18,139 --> 00:18:21,375 And that's how a girl makes a scene. 438 00:18:26,097 --> 00:18:27,097 I'm sorry, sweetie. 439 00:18:27,099 --> 00:18:28,732 You're right. You deserve your weekend. 440 00:18:28,734 --> 00:18:29,933 Come on, Amy, let's go. 441 00:18:29,935 --> 00:18:31,735 What about the Science Center? 442 00:18:31,737 --> 00:18:34,905 I'll let you hold my hair while I throw up. 443 00:18:35,607 --> 00:18:37,825 Rain check. 444 00:18:38,860 --> 00:18:40,110 I'm gonna go, too. 445 00:18:40,112 --> 00:18:41,862 - I'll miss you. - I'll miss you. 446 00:18:41,864 --> 00:18:43,781 - I'll miss you more. - No, I'll... 447 00:18:43,783 --> 00:18:46,166 Just leave! 448 00:18:49,070 --> 00:18:51,071 Okay, now. 449 00:18:51,073 --> 00:18:52,956 This is the way it's supposed to be. 450 00:18:52,958 --> 00:18:55,292 Men together, fighting the forces of evil. 451 00:18:55,294 --> 00:18:57,428 Hear! Hear! 452 00:18:59,515 --> 00:19:02,416 I can't believe this is only 64 calories. 453 00:19:18,175 --> 00:19:19,868 Howard Joel Wolowitz! 454 00:19:19,869 --> 00:19:21,902 I've been worried sick for two days, 455 00:19:21,904 --> 00:19:24,438 and I know you turned off your phone! 456 00:19:26,808 --> 00:19:28,792 You open up this door right now 457 00:19:28,794 --> 00:19:30,494 because I've had it up to here! 458 00:19:30,496 --> 00:19:32,412 I have been to the morgue and the hospital, 459 00:19:32,414 --> 00:19:33,847 and I spent the last half hour 460 00:19:33,849 --> 00:19:37,517 walking up these ferkakta stairs! 461 00:19:40,538 --> 00:19:42,773 That's my ride; got to go. 462 00:19:46,195 --> 00:19:49,695 == sync, corrected by elderman ==