1
00:00:03,336 --> 00:00:04,535
(barks, whimpers)
2
00:00:07,594 --> 00:00:08,794
D'oh!
3
00:00:08,819 --> 00:00:10,019
(tires screeching)
4
00:00:10,084 --> 00:00:11,585
(grunts)
5
00:00:11,721 --> 00:00:15,221
♪ The Simpsons 23x16 ♪
How I Wet Your Mother
Original Air Date on March 11, 2012
6
00:00:15,246 --> 00:00:18,746
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
7
00:00:27,869 --> 00:00:29,102
(beep)
8
00:00:29,170 --> 00:00:31,438
(whirring)
9
00:00:31,506 --> 00:00:32,439
(door creaks)
10
00:00:32,507 --> 00:00:33,423
(buzzing)
11
00:00:33,491 --> 00:00:34,541
(zapping)
12
00:00:37,695 --> 00:00:39,596
Item being procured:
13
00:00:39,664 --> 00:00:42,099
one standard-sized paper clip.
14
00:00:43,735 --> 00:00:44,902
Hmm.
15
00:00:48,756 --> 00:00:50,741
Did you guys see
that stupid foul call
16
00:00:50,825 --> 00:00:52,409
in the game last night?
17
00:00:52,494 --> 00:00:56,096
See it? We followed the ref home
and beat the crap out of him.
18
00:00:56,164 --> 00:00:58,749
Yeah, I ill think that might've been
a kid who worked at Foot Locker.
19
00:00:58,833 --> 00:01:00,100
Hey, the supply
room's open.
20
00:01:00,168 --> 00:01:01,134
I better close it.
21
00:01:04,205 --> 00:01:08,025
Unguarded stuff...!
22
00:01:08,092 --> 00:01:10,194
(grunts, chuckles)
23
00:01:10,261 --> 00:01:12,596
Attention, lovers
of free office supplies!
24
00:01:12,664 --> 00:01:16,149
Come and steal things
you can easily afford!
25
00:01:16,217 --> 00:01:18,368
♪ ♪
26
00:01:23,241 --> 00:01:25,976
(sizzling)
27
00:01:26,044 --> 00:01:28,545
♪ ♪
28
00:01:29,581 --> 00:01:32,432
(loud scraping, rattling)
29
00:01:32,500 --> 00:01:34,334
(horn honking, tires screech)
30
00:01:35,520 --> 00:01:37,204
(stapling)
31
00:01:37,272 --> 00:01:38,989
(chuckles)
32
00:01:39,057 --> 00:01:40,413
Can someone open this
bottle of mother wolf
33
00:01:40,438 --> 00:01:41,638
placenta for me?
34
00:01:42,327 --> 00:01:44,728
(gasps)
Mr. Burns!
35
00:01:44,796 --> 00:01:46,413
Save me, panic!
Huh?
36
00:01:47,649 --> 00:01:49,800
MAN:
Oh!
37
00:01:49,867 --> 00:01:50,917
Whoo-hoo!
38
00:01:50,969 --> 00:01:52,069
(rapid clicking)
39
00:01:52,136 --> 00:01:53,987
(gasps)
My rubberized bands!
40
00:01:54,055 --> 00:01:55,389
My binder clips!
41
00:01:55,456 --> 00:01:57,658
(shudders)
My accordion Post-its!
44
00:02:01,396 --> 00:02:04,264
Oh, Lenny, why would
you steal my bear?
45
00:02:04,332 --> 00:02:06,233
I just wanted something
to cuddle at night.
46
00:02:06,301 --> 00:02:07,501
That's my cuddle bear!
47
00:02:07,569 --> 00:02:09,753
I loved him, I shot
him-- he's mine!
48
00:02:09,821 --> 00:02:11,104
(crow caws)
49
00:02:11,172 --> 00:02:12,573
It has come to my attention
50
00:02:12,640 --> 00:02:14,241
that you lunch-bagging
wage lizards
51
00:02:14,309 --> 00:02:15,776
are robbing me blind.
52
00:02:15,843 --> 00:02:19,413
If you paid us better,
we wouldn't have to steal!
53
00:02:19,480 --> 00:02:20,981
You don't even work here!
54
00:02:21,049 --> 00:02:23,817
Wha...?! You mean I've been
calling in sick for nothing?
55
00:02:23,885 --> 00:02:26,136
I might not be here
tomorrow, that's for sure.
56
00:02:26,204 --> 00:02:27,788
Only one of you monkeys
wasn't caught
57
00:02:27,855 --> 00:02:29,740
with his sticky paw
in my tin cup.
58
00:02:29,807 --> 00:02:31,091
Homer Simpson.
59
00:02:31,159 --> 00:02:32,693
(chuckles)
How you doing there?
60
00:02:32,760 --> 00:02:34,111
Wow, he threw us
61
00:02:34,178 --> 00:02:35,762
under the bus,
and now he's sitting
62
00:02:35,830 --> 00:02:37,214
in the bus driver's lap.
63
00:02:37,282 --> 00:02:39,449
Now, Simpson, how
is it that you alone
64
00:02:39,517 --> 00:02:42,302
managed to keep your moral
compass pointed to true north?
65
00:02:42,353 --> 00:02:44,705
Well, sir, before
I do anything,
66
00:02:44,772 --> 00:02:46,016
I stop and ask myself:
67
00:02:46,041 --> 00:02:49,269
"What would Jesus
and Mr. Burns do?"
68
00:02:49,711 --> 00:02:51,612
You are garbage made flesh!
69
00:02:51,679 --> 00:02:53,013
This is a mockery!
70
00:02:53,081 --> 00:02:55,449
Hush! Now, while Simpson
gets the day off,
71
00:02:55,516 --> 00:02:58,251
the rest of you will write
30-page essays entitled
72
00:02:58,319 --> 00:03:01,004
"Homer Simpson:
Moral Lodestar."
73
00:03:01,072 --> 00:03:02,606
Question: Can we
have fun with it?
74
00:03:02,674 --> 00:03:03,774
No, you may not.
75
00:03:03,841 --> 00:03:05,609
(grumbling)
76
00:03:05,677 --> 00:03:06,977
(birds chirping)
77
00:03:07,045 --> 00:03:08,412
(chuckles)
You know, boy,
78
00:03:08,479 --> 00:03:11,381
my dad used to take me fishing
just like this.
79
00:03:11,449 --> 00:03:13,717
(text chimes sounding)
80
00:03:13,785 --> 00:03:16,920
(chuckles)
More angry texts from work.
81
00:03:16,988 --> 00:03:19,956
(whistles)
That's a lot of eights.
82
00:03:20,024 --> 00:03:22,292
I can't believe you got all your
friends in trouble
83
00:03:22,360 --> 00:03:23,894
and you got the day off!
84
00:03:23,961 --> 00:03:25,829
Hey, it's called karma.
85
00:03:27,365 --> 00:03:29,333
Isn't karma where if
you do something bad,
86
00:03:29,400 --> 00:03:31,101
bad things
happen to you?
87
00:03:31,169 --> 00:03:33,620
(chuckles)
A common misconception.
88
00:03:34,806 --> 00:03:36,623
Suck it, karma! Yeah!
89
00:03:36,691 --> 00:03:38,408
I'm talking to you, karma!
90
00:03:38,476 --> 00:03:39,693
Ha-ha-ha!
91
00:03:39,761 --> 00:03:41,628
Karma's a bitch, karma!
92
00:03:42,697 --> 00:03:44,297
(yawns)
93
00:03:44,365 --> 00:03:48,101
Ah, nothing better
than a lazy Saturday morning
94
00:03:48,169 --> 00:03:50,771
lying in a warm, moist bed,
95
00:03:50,838 --> 00:03:52,539
because weekends are...
96
00:03:52,607 --> 00:03:54,007
Moist?!
97
00:03:54,075 --> 00:03:56,176
I wet the bed!
98
00:03:56,244 --> 00:03:59,046
The one embarrassing thing
I've never done!
99
00:04:01,420 --> 00:04:03,054
(whimpering):
I...
100
00:04:03,121 --> 00:04:04,388
(muttering)
101
00:04:04,456 --> 00:04:06,657
Marge, from time to time
I've heard you speak
102
00:04:06,725 --> 00:04:09,660
of a "washing machine."
103
00:04:09,728 --> 00:04:11,929
Where would I find
this marvelous contraption?
104
00:04:11,997 --> 00:04:14,498
Why? Are you going
to do the laundry?
105
00:04:15,767 --> 00:04:16,934
Not just the laundry.
106
00:04:17,002 --> 00:04:18,202
That would be weird,
107
00:04:18,270 --> 00:04:19,837
and you might ask questions.
108
00:04:19,905 --> 00:04:21,739
I'm gonna do all the chores.
109
00:04:21,807 --> 00:04:23,824
HOMES BRAIN:
What the hell are you doing!
110
00:04:23,892 --> 00:04:25,092
Don't yell at me, brain.
111
00:04:25,160 --> 00:04:26,844
This happened on your watch.
112
00:04:26,912 --> 00:04:29,347
You have two jobs--
thinking and bladder control!
113
00:04:29,414 --> 00:04:31,582
I'm doing the best
with what I got.
114
00:04:31,650 --> 00:04:33,517
All you feed me
is reality shows!
115
00:04:33,585 --> 00:04:36,153
I like to watch
Lamar Odom play Xbox
116
00:04:36,221 --> 00:04:38,256
while his giant wife
yells at him.
117
00:04:38,323 --> 00:04:39,991
Is that so nuts?!
118
00:04:41,193 --> 00:04:42,093
Huh?!
119
00:04:43,328 --> 00:04:45,179
Yeah, shut you up.
120
00:04:45,246 --> 00:04:46,380
(birds chirping)
121
00:04:47,799 --> 00:04:49,867
Now, I'm sure
yesterday's incident
122
00:04:49,935 --> 00:04:53,004
of urination domination
was a one-time deal.
123
00:04:53,071 --> 00:04:55,406
But just to make sure...
124
00:04:55,474 --> 00:04:56,641
(shrieks)
125
00:04:56,708 --> 00:04:59,660
Oh, why can't
I cork my wang-wine?
126
00:04:59,728 --> 00:05:01,228
Homer...
127
00:05:01,296 --> 00:05:04,231
you do not yet understand
the meaning of karma.
128
00:05:04,299 --> 00:05:06,984
But isn't karma just an
expression of the dharma?
129
00:05:07,052 --> 00:05:08,219
(stammering)
130
00:05:08,287 --> 00:05:09,420
That is
beside the point, okay?
131
00:05:09,488 --> 00:05:11,289
If something bad
is happening to you,
132
00:05:11,356 --> 00:05:13,874
it must be because of
something you did to others.
133
00:05:13,942 --> 00:05:15,042
(gasps)
134
00:05:15,110 --> 00:05:16,443
Deep down, I must be
feeling guilty
135
00:05:16,495 --> 00:05:18,346
about getting
my friends in trouble!
136
00:05:18,413 --> 00:05:22,283
And my problem won't stop till
I make things right with them!
137
00:05:22,351 --> 00:05:26,153
But first, a little
more sleep, hm?
138
00:05:26,221 --> 00:05:28,205
(grunting)
(snoring)
139
00:05:30,342 --> 00:05:33,077
This is the best "I'm sorry"
party Homer's ever thrown.
140
00:05:33,145 --> 00:05:34,612
Who the hell are you?
141
00:05:34,680 --> 00:05:36,113
I'm sorry.
Cheese on that?
142
00:05:36,181 --> 00:05:37,715
Sorry. Hey, Lenny.
143
00:05:37,783 --> 00:05:38,883
Sorry.
144
00:05:38,950 --> 00:05:40,217
One more announcement.
145
00:05:40,285 --> 00:05:41,852
Make sure you whack
146
00:05:41,920 --> 00:05:44,672
"piñata me"
and not "real me."
147
00:05:44,740 --> 00:05:47,241
(grunting)
148
00:05:47,309 --> 00:05:48,893
A lot of work
149
00:05:48,960 --> 00:05:50,378
went into this thing.
150
00:05:50,445 --> 00:05:52,396
(grunting)
151
00:05:52,464 --> 00:05:53,964
Die! Die!
152
00:05:54,032 --> 00:05:55,933
Die!
So, I got to know,
153
00:05:56,001 --> 00:05:57,201
do you guys
forgive me?
154
00:05:57,269 --> 00:05:58,703
OTHERS:
Oh, yeah!
155
00:05:58,787 --> 00:06:03,207
Ain't no problem that free food
and free booze won't fix.
156
00:06:03,275 --> 00:06:04,675
Free?! Uh...
157
00:06:04,743 --> 00:06:06,544
Oh...
158
00:06:06,611 --> 00:06:08,079
Free it is!
159
00:06:08,146 --> 00:06:09,413
(cheering, whooping)
160
00:06:09,481 --> 00:06:11,015
Thanks, guys.
161
00:06:11,083 --> 00:06:12,049
(chuckles)
162
00:06:12,117 --> 00:06:13,384
Tomorrow morning
163
00:06:13,452 --> 00:06:16,487
my sheets will be as dry
as the surface of Mars,
164
00:06:16,555 --> 00:06:18,122
except for the poles.
165
00:06:18,190 --> 00:06:19,323
(birds chirping)
166
00:06:24,079 --> 00:06:25,446
(gasps)
What the...?
167
00:06:25,514 --> 00:06:26,981
Wet? Again?
168
00:06:27,049 --> 00:06:29,750
Oh, I did the right thing
for nothing!
169
00:06:29,818 --> 00:06:32,687
There's only one solution left.
170
00:06:33,922 --> 00:06:34,872
(grunting)
171
00:06:36,191 --> 00:06:37,425
Mm-hmm.
172
00:06:37,492 --> 00:06:39,293
Mm-hmm-hmm.
173
00:06:46,835 --> 00:06:48,769
MAN (over loudspeakers):
Homer Simpson!
174
00:06:48,837 --> 00:06:52,339
You forgot your receipt for
your adult bedwetting product!
175
00:06:52,407 --> 00:06:53,908
Homer Simpson!
176
00:06:53,975 --> 00:06:55,443
Are you there?!
177
00:06:55,510 --> 00:06:56,577
(light scraping)
178
00:07:02,050 --> 00:07:04,518
Mm-hmm, okay.
179
00:07:04,586 --> 00:07:08,172
Place detection pad here.
180
00:07:08,240 --> 00:07:12,093
Connect alarm hook-up... here.
181
00:07:12,160 --> 00:07:15,596
Now, that's what I call
looking out for number one.
182
00:07:15,664 --> 00:07:16,864
(chuckles)
183
00:07:18,033 --> 00:07:19,800
(Homer snoring)
184
00:07:19,868 --> 00:07:21,268
(alarm blaring)
185
00:07:21,336 --> 00:07:23,120
(gasps)
What's going on?
186
00:07:23,188 --> 00:07:25,189
Uh, uh, that was
just the fire alarm.
187
00:07:25,257 --> 00:07:26,974
Try to go back to sleep.
188
00:07:27,042 --> 00:07:28,626
(grunting)
Shut up!
189
00:07:28,693 --> 00:07:30,528
(alarm stops)
Oh... (gasps)
190
00:07:30,595 --> 00:07:31,662
(laughs):
Whoa-hoa-hoa!
191
00:07:31,730 --> 00:07:32,630
What's going on?
192
00:07:32,714 --> 00:07:34,231
Is this a joke?
193
00:07:34,299 --> 00:07:37,735
Son, I'm afraid the
Uralarm Whiz-no-more 9000
194
00:07:37,803 --> 00:07:39,437
is no joke.
195
00:07:39,504 --> 00:07:40,805
What is going on?
196
00:07:40,872 --> 00:07:42,039
(groans)
197
00:07:42,107 --> 00:07:43,874
Kids, there's something
I have to tell you.
198
00:07:43,942 --> 00:07:46,243
Your mother and I
are wetting the bed.
199
00:07:46,311 --> 00:07:47,945
"We're" wetting the bed?
200
00:07:48,013 --> 00:07:50,681
Hey, when you were pregnant,
everything was "we."
201
00:07:50,749 --> 00:07:52,016
(grumbles)
202
00:07:52,083 --> 00:07:53,417
(smooching, moaning)
203
00:07:53,485 --> 00:07:54,952
HOMER:
I'm so turned on.
204
00:07:55,020 --> 00:07:57,054
(both moaning)
205
00:07:58,824 --> 00:08:00,491
(grumbles)
What?
206
00:08:00,559 --> 00:08:02,126
I'm sorry, Homie.
207
00:08:02,194 --> 00:08:04,094
A diaper just isn't sexy.
208
00:08:04,162 --> 00:08:05,596
What about Cupid?
209
00:08:05,664 --> 00:08:06,931
He's smokin' hot.
210
00:08:06,998 --> 00:08:08,632
He's a baby with wings.
211
00:08:08,700 --> 00:08:12,503
Marge, it's not the diaper,
it's what's inside.
212
00:08:12,571 --> 00:08:13,604
(chuckles)
213
00:08:13,672 --> 00:08:16,707
(singing striptease music)
214
00:08:17,976 --> 00:08:20,110
(continues singing
striptease music)
215
00:08:20,178 --> 00:08:22,213
That's just not
doing it for me.
216
00:08:22,280 --> 00:08:23,614
Oh...
217
00:08:25,217 --> 00:08:26,517
(Homer snoring)
218
00:08:26,585 --> 00:08:28,552
(continues snoring)
219
00:08:30,956 --> 00:08:32,723
♪ ♪
220
00:08:35,527 --> 00:08:38,362
(explosion, yelling)
221
00:08:40,031 --> 00:08:42,099
Professor Frink,
are you all right?
222
00:08:42,167 --> 00:08:44,251
Oh, yes, yes,
I'm fine, my dear.
223
00:08:44,319 --> 00:08:47,204
I was just trying to get past
the New York Times pay-wall,
224
00:08:47,289 --> 00:08:48,622
and then kaboy!
225
00:08:48,690 --> 00:08:50,858
And what brings you out
in the middle of the night?
226
00:08:50,926 --> 00:08:53,027
It's kind of embarrassing.
227
00:08:53,094 --> 00:08:56,046
Yes, I heard about your
husband's bedwetting problem.
228
00:08:56,114 --> 00:08:57,848
How do you know
about it?
229
00:08:57,916 --> 00:09:00,684
Tweeted by Bart,
re-tweeted by Krusty.
230
00:09:00,752 --> 00:09:01,919
(grumbles)
231
00:09:01,987 --> 00:09:03,254
Well, perhaps I can help.
232
00:09:03,321 --> 00:09:05,389
You see, I have
invented a device
233
00:09:05,457 --> 00:09:08,225
that allows you to enter
someone else's dreams
234
00:09:08,293 --> 00:09:10,528
and explore their
subconscious.
235
00:09:10,595 --> 00:09:13,030
So we can go inside
Homer's sleeping mind
236
00:09:13,098 --> 00:09:15,482
and find out why
he's wetting the bed?
237
00:09:15,550 --> 00:09:17,418
Uh, yes. In fact,
I just used it
238
00:09:17,485 --> 00:09:20,554
to cure another Springfielder
of his particular obsession.
239
00:09:20,622 --> 00:09:23,123
Normal Stu likes
normal things!
240
00:09:23,191 --> 00:09:24,258
Hmm.
241
00:09:24,326 --> 00:09:25,459
(Homer snoring)
242
00:09:26,995 --> 00:09:28,696
(continues snoring)
243
00:09:28,763 --> 00:09:31,265
We're actually entering
Dad's dreams?
244
00:09:31,333 --> 00:09:33,601
Yes, yes. You see,
it's the only way
245
00:09:33,668 --> 00:09:36,670
you can uncover the
psychological trauma
246
00:09:36,738 --> 00:09:39,440
that is causing your
father's secret shame.
247
00:09:39,507 --> 00:09:41,609
Why does Maggie
have to go?
248
00:09:41,676 --> 00:09:43,310
What am I,
a babysitter?!
249
00:09:43,378 --> 00:09:44,428
(click)
250
00:09:44,496 --> 00:09:46,764
(sigh) So no
school for me.
251
00:09:46,831 --> 00:09:48,599
(whooshing, zapping)
252
00:09:48,667 --> 00:09:51,569
♪ ♪
253
00:09:51,653 --> 00:09:53,721
(grunting)
254
00:09:53,788 --> 00:09:56,223
(chuckles) Hey, guys,
whatcha doing in my dream?
255
00:09:56,274 --> 00:09:57,858
Trying to fix your broken brain.
256
00:09:57,926 --> 00:09:59,326
My brain's fine.
257
00:09:59,394 --> 00:10:01,612
In my dreams, I'm
an intermediate skier!
258
00:10:02,964 --> 00:10:05,249
♪ ♪
259
00:10:05,317 --> 00:10:07,051
(Maggie sucking pacifier)
260
00:10:07,118 --> 00:10:10,621
(sinister laughter)
261
00:10:10,705 --> 00:10:12,506
Ski patrol!
Everybody be cool!
262
00:10:12,573 --> 00:10:14,425
It's Death!
I recognize him
263
00:10:14,509 --> 00:10:16,576
from 40th birthday cards.
264
00:10:16,628 --> 00:10:18,362
(Death chuckling)
265
00:10:18,430 --> 00:10:20,097
Homie, this
might be a clue.
266
00:10:20,181 --> 00:10:21,348
What's in that coffin
267
00:10:21,416 --> 00:10:23,934
could be behind your
nighttime oopsies.
268
00:10:24,019 --> 00:10:25,469
You wet the bed?!
269
00:10:25,553 --> 00:10:27,938
Oh... great!
Now Death knows!
270
00:10:29,774 --> 00:10:32,593
(whimpering)
271
00:10:32,661 --> 00:10:33,727
(screams)
272
00:10:33,795 --> 00:10:34,778
What do you see?
273
00:10:34,863 --> 00:10:36,596
Uh, nothing,
typical dream nonsense.
274
00:10:40,585 --> 00:10:41,619
(all screaming)
275
00:10:41,703 --> 00:10:42,953
Relax.
276
00:10:43,038 --> 00:10:45,072
Everyone knows
that if you die in a dream,
277
00:10:45,123 --> 00:10:46,273
you just wake up.
278
00:10:46,324 --> 00:10:47,741
(phone rings)
279
00:10:47,792 --> 00:10:49,493
Oh, uh, actually,
280
00:10:49,577 --> 00:10:53,580
because I neglected to install
the latest Adobe Acrobat update,
281
00:10:53,648 --> 00:10:56,717
if you die in the dream,
you die in real life.
282
00:10:56,785 --> 00:10:57,618
(gasps)
283
00:10:57,686 --> 00:10:59,153
Incidentally, I've also proven
284
00:10:59,220 --> 00:11:01,822
that Hell is real,
and everyone goes there.
285
00:11:01,890 --> 00:11:02,840
Frink out.
286
00:11:02,907 --> 00:11:04,892
(all screaming)
287
00:11:05,521 --> 00:11:07,810
(screaming)
288
00:11:08,594 --> 00:11:10,712
Wait a minute,
I can't die.
289
00:11:10,763 --> 00:11:12,648
(roaring)
290
00:11:12,715 --> 00:11:13,849
Mommy.
291
00:11:15,501 --> 00:11:16,518
(screaming resumes)
292
00:11:16,569 --> 00:11:17,736
Listen, everyone.
293
00:11:17,820 --> 00:11:19,571
We should fall asleep
in this dream.
294
00:11:19,656 --> 00:11:21,023
One minute at this level
295
00:11:21,074 --> 00:11:23,842
equals two hours one
dream level below.
296
00:11:23,910 --> 00:11:25,226
Wait, dreams have rules?
297
00:11:25,278 --> 00:11:27,079
Everything has rules, Bart.
298
00:11:27,163 --> 00:11:28,730
Not me, when I hit
the dance floor.
299
00:11:28,781 --> 00:11:30,615
(making goofy noises)
300
00:11:35,421 --> 00:11:37,172
Ooh-ooh-ooh!
Ah-ah-ah!
301
00:11:41,744 --> 00:11:43,128
(snoring)
302
00:11:47,483 --> 00:11:49,217
(belches)
Bart!
303
00:11:49,285 --> 00:11:52,070
Can the chatter
and fetch me a baloney sandwich.
304
00:11:52,138 --> 00:11:53,872
Why don't you
fetch it yourself, man.
305
00:11:55,208 --> 00:11:57,309
Bart's making faces!
306
00:11:57,377 --> 00:11:59,995
Shut up, you kids,
and bring me baloney.
307
00:12:00,063 --> 00:12:01,997
(grunting)
308
00:12:02,065 --> 00:12:04,166
Wait nicely.
309
00:12:04,233 --> 00:12:06,101
Simpson family?
310
00:12:08,671 --> 00:12:11,440
Now, I believe that to
solve Homer's problem,
311
00:12:11,507 --> 00:12:13,241
he must face what's
inside the coffin.
312
00:12:13,309 --> 00:12:15,277
Forget it, Doc.
313
00:12:15,344 --> 00:12:17,045
What if that's
my marriage in there?
314
00:12:17,113 --> 00:12:18,113
Marriage, shmarriage.
315
00:12:18,181 --> 00:12:19,548
What's in the box, man?
316
00:12:21,350 --> 00:12:22,267
(yelling)
317
00:12:23,836 --> 00:12:26,421
See what your monkeyshines
have done, boy?
318
00:12:26,472 --> 00:12:28,590
Still smells better than
your gym socks, man.
319
00:12:28,641 --> 00:12:30,075
Why you little...
320
00:12:30,143 --> 00:12:33,528
I'll teach you to make fun
of my socks.
321
00:12:33,596 --> 00:12:34,546
Here, quick!
322
00:12:34,614 --> 00:12:36,148
Everyone into my dream!
323
00:12:42,071 --> 00:12:43,805
(gasps)
324
00:12:43,873 --> 00:12:48,643
What brings thy merry band
to Stratford's plains?
325
00:12:48,711 --> 00:12:49,795
Forsooth,
a myst'ry doth confound...
326
00:12:49,862 --> 00:12:51,730
In your dreams.
327
00:12:54,667 --> 00:12:56,501
We never do my thing.
328
00:12:59,889 --> 00:13:01,590
Ooh...
329
00:13:01,657 --> 00:13:02,624
Huh?
330
00:13:02,675 --> 00:13:04,826
(grunts, gasps)
331
00:13:04,894 --> 00:13:08,496
I know this dream.
332
00:13:08,548 --> 00:13:10,365
It's the land of my
innermost thoughts
333
00:13:10,433 --> 00:13:12,167
and fondest desires.
334
00:13:12,235 --> 00:13:14,069
At last we'll get
to the bottom of...
335
00:13:14,137 --> 00:13:15,504
WOMAN:
Welcome back, handsome.
336
00:13:17,857 --> 00:13:18,957
(nervous giggles)
337
00:13:19,025 --> 00:13:21,193
Uh, Marge,
this is my friend Keggy.
338
00:13:21,260 --> 00:13:23,245
Mmm...
339
00:13:23,312 --> 00:13:24,579
Oh...
340
00:13:53,192 --> 00:13:54,659
(doors ding)
341
00:13:58,147 --> 00:14:02,150
In this fantasy Kwik-E-Mart,
you get your change in bacon.
342
00:14:02,218 --> 00:14:03,368
Whoo-hoo!
343
00:14:08,758 --> 00:14:11,626
MOES: In this place mothers
are for drunk driving.
344
00:14:11,694 --> 00:14:13,895
ALL:
Chug! Chug! Chug!
345
00:14:13,963 --> 00:14:15,730
Hey Dad, if this is
your fantasy world,
346
00:14:15,798 --> 00:14:17,282
how come Flanders is here?
347
00:14:17,350 --> 00:14:18,683
Hi-diddly-ho, dream team!
348
00:14:18,751 --> 00:14:20,035
(screams)
349
00:14:20,086 --> 00:14:21,453
Where's my God now?
350
00:14:21,521 --> 00:14:22,954
(laughing)
351
00:14:23,022 --> 00:14:24,306
Homie!
352
00:14:24,373 --> 00:14:26,541
We're here to find answers
to your problem.
353
00:14:26,609 --> 00:14:28,176
We know there's a
marriage in trouble,
354
00:14:28,244 --> 00:14:29,744
and it has something
to do with fish.
355
00:14:30,913 --> 00:14:32,447
Oh, lighten up, Marge.
356
00:14:32,515 --> 00:14:34,216
I take you
to the Disneyland of me,
357
00:14:34,283 --> 00:14:36,384
and you just want
to go to the lost and found.
358
00:14:36,452 --> 00:14:37,619
Well, guess what?
359
00:14:37,687 --> 00:14:40,021
We're staying
in this dream forever.
360
00:14:42,558 --> 00:14:44,459
(laughing)
361
00:14:44,527 --> 00:14:47,495
Whoo-hoo! (laughs)
Wheeee!
362
00:14:47,563 --> 00:14:49,631
I'm in me!
(laughs)
363
00:14:49,699 --> 00:14:52,167
Oh, I love the down part!
364
00:14:52,235 --> 00:14:53,702
Here it comes! Whoo-hoo!
365
00:14:55,071 --> 00:14:56,905
(humming)
366
00:14:59,575 --> 00:15:02,844
Unplug these people,
Dr. Ker-dork-ian!
367
00:15:02,912 --> 00:15:05,063
Oh, you foolish man,
if I unhook them now,
368
00:15:05,131 --> 00:15:07,666
I won't know if this
is safe to use on chimps!
369
00:15:07,733 --> 00:15:09,067
All right,
I'll do it myself.
370
00:15:09,135 --> 00:15:10,969
Give me that, give me it!
No!
371
00:15:11,037 --> 00:15:12,120
Oh, the largeness!
372
00:15:24,050 --> 00:15:26,134
(screaming)
373
00:15:35,278 --> 00:15:36,611
(shrieks) Quick!
374
00:15:36,679 --> 00:15:37,979
Gum up the gears with Moes.
375
00:15:42,702 --> 00:15:44,436
Hey, you know what's good for
cleaning Moe gunk
376
00:15:44,503 --> 00:15:45,537
out of your gears?
377
00:15:45,605 --> 00:15:47,005
White vinegar. Yeah.
378
00:15:47,073 --> 00:15:47,906
(screaming)
379
00:15:59,528 --> 00:16:01,365
Uh, we're goona be here
a long time.
380
00:16:21,062 --> 00:16:23,610
Oh Death, you're a life saver.
381
00:16:30,937 --> 00:16:32,109
Thank you, Death.
382
00:16:32,134 --> 00:16:34,603
May I ask, what's
taken so long with Larry King?
383
00:16:34,628 --> 00:16:36,341
I am not...
384
00:16:37,180 --> 00:16:37,913
Death.
385
00:16:37,938 --> 00:16:38,848
Mom?!
386
00:16:38,873 --> 00:16:40,073
Grandma
387
00:16:40,098 --> 00:16:41,703
So your alive?
388
00:16:41,728 --> 00:16:44,770
No. But I live on
in Homer's dreams.
389
00:16:44,795 --> 00:16:47,196
Just like my hair.
390
00:16:47,221 --> 00:16:49,720
It's Jennifer Aniston's hair
on Friends.
391
00:16:49,745 --> 00:16:53,128
Exactly like Chandler,
always criticizing.
392
00:16:53,898 --> 00:16:55,790
Now, I have something
to show you.
393
00:16:55,815 --> 00:16:59,005
Something that just
might help Homer wake up dry.
394
00:17:00,993 --> 00:17:02,493
Hmm.
Wow.
395
00:17:04,508 --> 00:17:05,708
Roomy.
396
00:17:09,214 --> 00:17:10,897
While you boys are out
playing in the boat
397
00:17:10,922 --> 00:17:13,141
I'll go to the store
and pick us up some dinner.
398
00:17:13,166 --> 00:17:15,371
No need. With two Simpson
men in the boat
399
00:17:15,396 --> 00:17:18,283
will bring you back
a pile of fish.
400
00:17:18,308 --> 00:17:20,341
I'm in charge
of the tackle box
401
00:17:24,046 --> 00:17:26,040
Ha-ha. And we're off
402
00:17:26,065 --> 00:17:27,265
Bye.
403
00:17:28,053 --> 00:17:31,024
(laughing) Man Homer, you've
always been a loser.
404
00:17:31,517 --> 00:17:34,115
Why you little...
there's nothing in this dream
405
00:17:34,140 --> 00:17:36,159
world that can't strangle you.
406
00:17:37,740 --> 00:17:41,458
Um, I hear you and mommy
yelling again last night.
407
00:17:41,483 --> 00:17:43,520
Oh, no, no.
408
00:17:43,545 --> 00:17:45,645
It was just a TV show.
409
00:17:45,680 --> 00:17:48,782
Mitch Miller was yelling
at one of his idiot singers.
410
00:17:48,850 --> 00:17:51,418
You just concentrate
on catching the fish
411
00:17:51,485 --> 00:17:54,588
and not whether there'll be
someone there to cook it.
412
00:17:54,655 --> 00:17:55,889
I got a bite!
413
00:17:55,957 --> 00:17:57,657
We got a fish!
We got a fish!
414
00:17:57,708 --> 00:17:59,509
All right,
settle down there, boy.
415
00:17:59,594 --> 00:18:01,328
After we eat it,
can we let it go?
416
00:18:01,395 --> 00:18:02,696
Can we catch
a submarine?
417
00:18:02,763 --> 00:18:03,663
(both scream)
418
00:18:06,751 --> 00:18:08,919
MONA: You got home hours late
with no fish.
419
00:18:08,986 --> 00:18:10,520
It was only
a few weeks later
420
00:18:10,588 --> 00:18:12,272
that I left your father
for good.
421
00:18:12,340 --> 00:18:15,358
You left him because
I tipped the boat over
422
00:18:15,426 --> 00:18:17,093
and ruined the vacation?
423
00:18:17,161 --> 00:18:18,461
Pathetic.
424
00:18:18,529 --> 00:18:20,113
A kid who can't keep
his parents' marriage together
425
00:18:20,181 --> 00:18:21,514
is no kid at all.
426
00:18:21,582 --> 00:18:22,666
It's true!
427
00:18:22,733 --> 00:18:25,201
I failed the basic duty
of childhood.
428
00:18:25,269 --> 00:18:26,503
(gasps)
429
00:18:26,571 --> 00:18:28,138
And then when
I took Bart fishing,
430
00:18:28,205 --> 00:18:31,274
it all came back, and the guilt
made me wet the bed.
431
00:18:31,342 --> 00:18:33,193
Case closed.
432
00:18:33,261 --> 00:18:34,327
Mm-hmm.
433
00:18:34,395 --> 00:18:36,329
Now, let's return
our dream skis.
434
00:18:36,397 --> 00:18:37,964
Case not closed.
Hmm?
435
00:18:38,032 --> 00:18:40,584
Homer, you have nothing
to feel guilty about,
436
00:18:40,651 --> 00:18:42,452
and I can show you.
437
00:18:42,520 --> 00:18:43,420
Roll the
film, Cletus.
438
00:18:43,487 --> 00:18:44,854
"Roll the film, Cletus."
439
00:18:44,922 --> 00:18:46,022
"Kiss me, Cletus."
440
00:18:46,090 --> 00:18:48,625
Whatever you say, boss lady.
441
00:18:49,827 --> 00:18:51,444
Sorry, Mona.
442
00:18:51,512 --> 00:18:54,247
We had more of an adventure
than we planned on.
443
00:18:54,315 --> 00:18:55,649
It's okay, Abe.
444
00:18:55,716 --> 00:18:58,084
You brought back
the only treasure I care about.
445
00:19:00,104 --> 00:19:03,206
And when the time came that
I had to leave your father,
446
00:19:03,274 --> 00:19:05,091
I knew you were
in good hands.
447
00:19:05,159 --> 00:19:06,443
I'm cured!
448
00:19:06,527 --> 00:19:08,411
I'll never
wet the bed again.
449
00:19:08,496 --> 00:19:10,313
And maybe you'll stop
overeating, too.
450
00:19:10,381 --> 00:19:11,715
No can do, baby.
451
00:19:11,782 --> 00:19:13,733
(loud rumbling)
452
00:19:15,536 --> 00:19:17,437
And never
forget, Homer:
453
00:19:17,505 --> 00:19:21,324
the three of us will always
be together, in your memory.
454
00:19:21,392 --> 00:19:23,176
Right next to
the movie trivia.
455
00:19:23,244 --> 00:19:25,078
Stanley Kubrick
wanted Robin Williams
456
00:19:25,146 --> 00:19:26,663
to star in The Shining.
457
00:19:26,731 --> 00:19:30,066
Casablanca was originally
going to star Ronald Reagan.
458
00:19:30,134 --> 00:19:32,502
There was a Grease 2,
and I wasn't in it.
459
00:19:32,570 --> 00:19:33,570
Whoa!
Hey, watch it!
460
00:19:33,638 --> 00:19:34,888
There you go again.
Shazbot!
461
00:19:34,939 --> 00:19:39,159
And now you'd better
run along, sweetheart.
462
00:19:39,226 --> 00:19:40,694
Good-bye.
463
00:19:43,347 --> 00:19:44,981
Hmm?
464
00:19:45,049 --> 00:19:46,666
Hmm?
465
00:19:46,734 --> 00:19:48,335
Huh?
466
00:19:48,402 --> 00:19:50,270
(mumbles)
467
00:19:50,338 --> 00:19:52,238
(grunts)
468
00:19:52,306 --> 00:19:55,041
(gasping)
469
00:19:55,109 --> 00:19:57,110
Whoo-hoo! I'm dry!
470
00:19:57,178 --> 00:20:00,046
Come on, everybody,
feel Daddy's underpants!
471
00:20:00,114 --> 00:20:01,648
We'll take your
word for it.
472
00:20:03,050 --> 00:20:04,417
So what do I do again?
473
00:20:04,485 --> 00:20:05,752
Spin the top.
474
00:20:05,820 --> 00:20:08,004
If it falls over,
we're in reality.
475
00:20:08,072 --> 00:20:10,607
If it spins forever,
we're still in a dream.
476
00:20:10,675 --> 00:20:11,541
All right.
477
00:20:13,944 --> 00:20:15,478
Look at it go!
478
00:20:15,546 --> 00:20:16,980
All right!
479
00:20:17,048 --> 00:20:18,381
Hey, since it's a dream,
480
00:20:18,449 --> 00:20:20,684
let's ride our bikes naked
around town.
481
00:20:20,924 --> 00:20:22,692
Sounds like a plan.
482
00:20:22,759 --> 00:20:24,310
(both laughing)
483
00:20:28,682 --> 00:20:29,982
MARGE:
Is that hail coming down?
484
00:20:30,050 --> 00:20:31,117
HOMER:
It's just dream hail.
485
00:20:31,185 --> 00:20:32,385
Ow! Ooh! Ow!
486
00:20:32,452 --> 00:20:35,049
Dream hail!
(screaming)
487
00:20:35,124 --> 00:20:36,725
Hey, there's a dream truck.
488
00:20:36,793 --> 00:20:38,460
(thud)
Ow!
489
00:20:38,528 --> 00:20:41,728
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
490
00:20:41,749 --> 00:20:46,480
♪ When you were little,
you dreamed you were big ♪
491
00:20:46,580 --> 00:20:51,451
♪ You must have been something,
a real tiny kid ♪
492
00:20:51,518 --> 00:20:56,155
♪ When you were big
and needed advice ♪
493
00:20:56,223 --> 00:20:58,658
♪ You reached for your mom ♪
494
00:20:58,726 --> 00:21:02,957
♪ You dreamed me alive ♪
495
00:21:04,377 --> 00:21:09,567
♪ And your dream had a name ♪
496
00:21:09,592 --> 00:21:15,289
♪ And the name told your story ♪
497
00:21:15,314 --> 00:21:19,833
♪ It's called, growing up ♪
498
00:21:19,858 --> 00:21:24,988
♪ You're the dream operator ♪