﻿1
00:00:07,594 --> 00:00:08,794
D'oh!

2
00:00:11,721 --> 00:00:15,221
<font color="#00FF00">♪ The Simpsons 23x16 ♪</font>
<font color="#00FFFF">How I Wet Your Mother</font>
Original Air Date on March 11, 2012

3
00:00:15,246 --> 00:00:18,746
== sync, corrected by <font color="#00ff00">elderman</font> ==

4
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Item being procured:

5
00:00:39,664 --> 00:00:42,099
one standard-sized paper clip.

6
00:00:43,735 --> 00:00:44,902
Hmm.

7
00:00:48,756 --> 00:00:50,741
Did you guys see
that stupid foul call

8
00:00:50,825 --> 00:00:52,409
in the game last night?

9
00:00:52,494 --> 00:00:56,096
See it? We followed the ref home
and beat the crap out of him.

10
00:00:56,164 --> 00:00:58,749
Yeah, I ill think that might've been
a kid who worked at Foot Locker.

11
00:00:58,833 --> 00:01:00,100
Hey, the supply
room's open.

12
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I better close it.

13
00:01:04,205 --> 00:01:08,025
Unguarded stuff...!

14
00:01:10,261 --> 00:01:12,596
Attention, lovers
of free office supplies!

15
00:01:12,664 --> 00:01:16,149
Come and steal things
you can easily afford!

16
00:01:16,217 --> 00:01:18,368
♪ ♪

17
00:01:26,044 --> 00:01:28,545
♪ ♪

18
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Can someone open this
bottle of mother wolf

19
00:01:40,438 --> 00:01:41,638
placenta for me?

20
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Mr. Burns!

21
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Save me, panic!
Huh?

22
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Oh!

23
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Whoo-hoo!

24
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My rubberized bands!

25
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My binder clips!

26
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My accordion Post-its!

27
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Oh, Lenny, why would
you steal my bear?

28
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I just wanted something
to cuddle at night.

29
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That's my cuddle bear!

30
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I loved him, I shot
him-- he's mine!

31
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It has come to my attention

32
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that you lunch-bagging
wage lizards

33
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are robbing me blind.

34
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If you paid us better,
we wouldn't have to steal!

35
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You don't even work here!

36
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Wha...?! You mean I've been
calling in sick for nothing?

37
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I might not be here
tomorrow, that's for sure.

38
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Only one of you monkeys
wasn't caught

39
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with his sticky paw
in my tin cup.

40
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Homer Simpson.

41
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How you doing there?

44
00:02:35,830 --> 00:02:37,214
in the bus driver's lap.

45
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Now, Simpson, how
is it that you alone

46
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managed to keep your moral
compass pointed to true north?

47
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Well, sir, before
I do anything,

48
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I stop and ask myself:

49
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"What would Jesus
and Mr. Burns do?"

50
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You are garbage made flesh!

51
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This is a mockery!

52
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Hush! Now, while Simpson
gets the day off,

53
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the rest of you will write
30-page essays entitled

54
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"Homer Simpson:
Moral Lodestar."

55
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Question: Can we
have fun with it?

56
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No, you may not.

57
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You know, boy,

58
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my dad used to take me fishing
just like this.

59
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More angry texts from work.

60
00:03:16,988 --> 00:03:19,956
That's a lot of eights.

61
00:03:20,024 --> 00:03:22,292
I can't believe you got all your
friends in trouble

62
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and you got the day off!

63
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Hey, it's called karma.

64
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Isn't karma where if
you do something bad,

65
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bad things
happen to you?

66
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A common misconception.

67
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Suck it, karma! Yeah!

68
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I'm talking to you, karma!

69
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Ha-ha-ha!

70
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Karma's a bitch, karma!

71
00:03:44,365 --> 00:03:48,101
Ah, nothing better
than a lazy Saturday morning

72
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lying in a warm, moist bed,

73
00:03:50,838 --> 00:03:52,539
because weekends are...

74
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Moist?!

75
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I wet the bed!

76
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The one embarrassing thing
I've never done!

77
00:04:01,420 --> 00:04:03,054
I...

78
00:04:04,456 --> 00:04:06,657
Marge, from time to time
I've heard you speak

79
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of a "washing machine."

80
00:04:09,728 --> 00:04:11,929
Where would I find
this marvelous contraption?

81
00:04:11,997 --> 00:04:14,498
Why? Are you going
to do the laundry?

82
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Not <i>just</i> the laundry.

83
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That would be weird,

84
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and you might ask questions.

85
00:04:19,905 --> 00:04:21,739
I'm gonna do <i>all</i> the chores.

86
00:04:21,807 --> 00:04:23,824
<i>What the hell are you doing!</i>

87
00:04:23,892 --> 00:04:25,092
Don't yell at me, brain.

88
00:04:25,160 --> 00:04:26,844
This happened on your watch.

89
00:04:26,912 --> 00:04:29,347
You have two jobs--
thinking and bladder control!

90
00:04:29,414 --> 00:04:31,582
<i>I'm doing the best</i>
<i>with what I got.</i>

91
00:04:31,650 --> 00:04:33,517
<i>All you feed me</i>
<i>is reality shows!</i>

92
00:04:33,585 --> 00:04:36,153
I like to watch
Lamar Odom play Xbox

93
00:04:36,221 --> 00:04:38,256
while his giant wife
yells at him.

94
00:04:38,323 --> 00:04:39,991
Is that so nuts?!

95
00:04:41,193 --> 00:04:42,093
Huh?!

96
00:04:43,328 --> 00:04:45,179
Yeah, shut you up.

97
00:04:47,799 --> 00:04:49,867
Now, I'm sure
yesterday's incident

98
00:04:49,935 --> 00:04:53,004
of urination domination
was a one-time deal.

99
00:04:53,071 --> 00:04:55,406
But just to make sure...

100
00:04:56,708 --> 00:04:59,660
Oh, why can't
I cork my wang-wine?

101
00:04:59,728 --> 00:05:01,228
Homer...

102
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you do not yet understand
the meaning of karma.

103
00:05:04,299 --> 00:05:06,984
But isn't karma just an
expression of the dharma?

104
00:05:08,287 --> 00:05:09,420
That is
beside the point, okay?

105
00:05:09,488 --> 00:05:11,289
If something bad
is happening to you,

106
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it must be because of
something you did to others.

107
00:05:15,110 --> 00:05:16,443
Deep down, I must be
feeling guilty

108
00:05:16,495 --> 00:05:18,346
about getting
my friends in trouble!

109
00:05:18,413 --> 00:05:22,283
And my problem won't stop till
I make things right with them!

110
00:05:22,351 --> 00:05:26,153
But first, a little
more sleep, hm?

111
00:05:30,342 --> 00:05:33,077
This is the best "I'm sorry"
party Homer's ever thrown.

112
00:05:33,145 --> 00:05:34,612
Who the hell are you?

113
00:05:34,680 --> 00:05:36,113
I'm sorry.
Cheese on that?

114
00:05:36,181 --> 00:05:37,715
Sorry. Hey, Lenny.

115
00:05:37,783 --> 00:05:38,883
Sorry.

116
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One more announcement.

117
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Make sure you whack

118
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"piñata me"
and not "real me."

119
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A lot of work

120
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went into this thing.

121
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Die! Die!

122
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Die!
So, I got to know,

123
00:05:56,001 --> 00:05:57,201
do you guys
forgive me?

124
00:05:57,269 --> 00:05:58,703
Oh, yeah!

125
00:05:58,787 --> 00:06:03,207
Ain't no problem that free food
and free booze won't fix.

126
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Free?! Uh...

127
00:06:04,743 --> 00:06:06,544
Oh...

128
00:06:06,611 --> 00:06:08,079
Free it is!

129
00:06:09,481 --> 00:06:11,015
Thanks, guys.

130
00:06:12,117 --> 00:06:13,384
Tomorrow morning

131
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my sheets will be as dry
as the surface of Mars,

132
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except for the poles.

133
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What the...?

134
00:06:25,514 --> 00:06:26,981
Wet? Again?

135
00:06:27,049 --> 00:06:29,750
Oh, I did the right thing
for nothing!

136
00:06:29,818 --> 00:06:32,687
There's only one solution left.

137
00:06:36,191 --> 00:06:37,425
Mm-hmm.

138
00:06:37,492 --> 00:06:39,293
Mm-hmm-hmm.

139
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Homer Simpson!

140
00:06:48,837 --> 00:06:52,339
You forgot your receipt for
your adult bedwetting product!

141
00:06:52,407 --> 00:06:53,908
Homer Simpson!

142
00:06:53,975 --> 00:06:55,443
Are you there?!

143
00:07:02,050 --> 00:07:04,518
Mm-hmm, okay.

144
00:07:04,586 --> 00:07:08,172
Place detection pad here.

145
00:07:08,240 --> 00:07:12,093
Connect alarm hook-up... here.

146
00:07:12,160 --> 00:07:15,596
Now, that's what I call
looking out for number one.

147
00:07:21,336 --> 00:07:23,120
What's going on?

148
00:07:23,188 --> 00:07:25,189
Uh, uh, that was
just the fire alarm.

149
00:07:25,257 --> 00:07:26,974
Try to go back to sleep.

150
00:07:27,042 --> 00:07:28,626
Shut up!

151
00:07:28,693 --> 00:07:30,528
Oh...

152
00:07:30,595 --> 00:07:31,662
Whoa-hoa-hoa!

153
00:07:31,730 --> 00:07:32,630
What's going on?

154
00:07:32,714 --> 00:07:34,231
Is this a joke?

155
00:07:34,299 --> 00:07:37,735
Son, I'm afraid the
Uralarm Whiz-no-more 9000

156
00:07:37,803 --> 00:07:39,437
is no joke.

157
00:07:39,504 --> 00:07:40,805
What <i>is</i> going on?

158
00:07:42,107 --> 00:07:43,874
Kids, there's something
I have to tell you.

159
00:07:43,942 --> 00:07:46,243
Your mother and I
are wetting the bed.

160
00:07:46,311 --> 00:07:47,945
"We're" wetting the bed?

161
00:07:48,013 --> 00:07:50,681
Hey, when you were pregnant,
everything was "we."

162
00:07:53,485 --> 00:07:54,952
I'm so turned on.

163
00:07:58,824 --> 00:08:00,491
What?

164
00:08:00,559 --> 00:08:02,126
I'm sorry, Homie.

165
00:08:02,194 --> 00:08:04,094
A diaper just isn't sexy.

166
00:08:04,162 --> 00:08:05,596
What about Cupid?

167
00:08:05,664 --> 00:08:06,931
He's smokin' hot.

168
00:08:06,998 --> 00:08:08,632
He's a baby with wings.

169
00:08:08,700 --> 00:08:12,503
Marge, it's not the diaper,
it's what's inside.

170
00:08:20,178 --> 00:08:22,213
That's just not
doing it for me.

171
00:08:22,280 --> 00:08:23,614
Oh...

172
00:08:30,956 --> 00:08:32,723
♪ ♪

173
00:08:40,031 --> 00:08:42,099
Professor Frink,
are you all right?

174
00:08:42,167 --> 00:08:44,251
Oh, yes, yes,
I'm fine, my dear.

175
00:08:44,319 --> 00:08:47,204
I was just trying to get past
the <i>New York Times</i> pay-wall,

176
00:08:47,289 --> 00:08:48,622
and then <i>kaboy!</i>

177
00:08:48,690 --> 00:08:50,858
And what brings you out
in the middle of the night?

178
00:08:50,926 --> 00:08:53,027
It's kind of embarrassing.

179
00:08:53,094 --> 00:08:56,046
Yes, I heard about your
husband's bedwetting problem.

180
00:08:56,114 --> 00:08:57,848
How do you know
about it?

181
00:08:57,916 --> 00:09:00,684
Tweeted by Bart,
re-tweeted by Krusty.

182
00:09:01,987 --> 00:09:03,254
Well, perhaps I can help.

183
00:09:03,321 --> 00:09:05,389
You see, I have
invented a device

184
00:09:05,457 --> 00:09:08,225
that allows you to enter
someone else's dreams

185
00:09:08,293 --> 00:09:10,528
and explore their
subconscious.

186
00:09:10,595 --> 00:09:13,030
So we can go inside
Homer's sleeping mind

187
00:09:13,098 --> 00:09:15,482
and find out why
he's wetting the bed?

188
00:09:15,550 --> 00:09:17,418
Uh, yes. In fact,
I just used it

189
00:09:17,485 --> 00:09:20,554
to cure another Springfielder
of his particular obsession.

190
00:09:20,622 --> 00:09:23,123
Normal Stu likes
normal things!

191
00:09:23,191 --> 00:09:24,258
Hmm.

192
00:09:28,763 --> 00:09:31,265
We're actually entering
Dad's dreams?

193
00:09:31,333 --> 00:09:33,601
Yes, yes. You see,
it's the only way

194
00:09:33,668 --> 00:09:36,670
you can uncover the
psychological trauma

195
00:09:36,738 --> 00:09:39,440
that is causing your
father's secret shame.

196
00:09:39,507 --> 00:09:41,609
Why does Maggie
have to go?

197
00:09:41,676 --> 00:09:43,310
What am I,
a babysitter?!

198
00:09:44,496 --> 00:09:46,764
So no
school for me.

199
00:09:48,667 --> 00:09:51,569
♪ ♪

200
00:09:53,788 --> 00:09:56,223
Hey, guys,
whatcha doing in my dream?

201
00:09:56,274 --> 00:09:57,858
Trying to fix your broken brain.

202
00:09:57,926 --> 00:09:59,326
My brain's fine.

203
00:09:59,394 --> 00:10:01,612
In my dreams, I'm
an intermediate skier!

204
00:10:02,964 --> 00:10:05,249
♪ ♪

205
00:10:10,705 --> 00:10:12,506
Ski patrol!
Everybody be cool!

206
00:10:12,573 --> 00:10:14,425
It's Death!
I recognize him

207
00:10:14,509 --> 00:10:16,576
from 40th birthday cards.

208
00:10:18,430 --> 00:10:20,097
Homie, this
might be a clue.

209
00:10:20,181 --> 00:10:21,348
What's in that coffin

210
00:10:21,416 --> 00:10:23,934
could be behind your
nighttime oopsies.

211
00:10:24,019 --> 00:10:25,469
You wet the bed?!

212
00:10:25,553 --> 00:10:27,938
Oh... great!
Now Death knows!

213
00:10:33,795 --> 00:10:34,778
What do you see?

214
00:10:34,863 --> 00:10:36,596
Uh, nothing,
typical dream nonsense.

215
00:10:41,703 --> 00:10:42,953
Relax.

216
00:10:43,038 --> 00:10:45,072
Everyone knows
that if you die in a dream,

217
00:10:45,123 --> 00:10:46,273
you just wake up.

218
00:10:47,792 --> 00:10:49,493
Oh, uh, actually,

219
00:10:49,577 --> 00:10:53,580
because I neglected to install
the latest Adobe Acrobat update,

220
00:10:53,648 --> 00:10:56,717
if you die in the dream,
you die in real life.

221
00:10:57,686 --> 00:10:59,153
Incidentally, I've also proven

222
00:10:59,220 --> 00:11:01,822
that Hell is real,
and everyone goes there.

223
00:11:01,890 --> 00:11:02,840
Frink out.

224
00:11:08,594 --> 00:11:10,712
Wait a minute,
I can't die.

225
00:11:12,715 --> 00:11:13,849
Mommy.

226
00:11:16,569 --> 00:11:17,736
Listen, everyone.

227
00:11:17,820 --> 00:11:19,571
We should fall asleep
in this dream.

228
00:11:19,656 --> 00:11:21,023
One minute at this level

229
00:11:21,074 --> 00:11:23,842
equals two hours one
dream level below.

230
00:11:23,910 --> 00:11:25,226
Wait, dreams have rules?

231
00:11:25,278 --> 00:11:27,079
Everything has rules, Bart.

232
00:11:27,163 --> 00:11:28,730
Not me, when I hit
the dance floor.

233
00:11:35,421 --> 00:11:37,172
Ooh-ooh-ooh!
Ah-ah-ah!

234
00:11:47,483 --> 00:11:49,217
Bart!

235
00:11:49,285 --> 00:11:52,070
Can the chatter
and fetch me a baloney sandwich.

236
00:11:52,138 --> 00:11:53,872
Why don't you
fetch it yourself, man.

237
00:11:55,208 --> 00:11:57,309
Bart's making faces!

238
00:11:57,377 --> 00:11:59,995
Shut up, you kids,
and bring me baloney.

239
00:12:02,065 --> 00:12:04,166
Wait nicely.

240
00:12:04,233 --> 00:12:06,101
Simpson family?

241
00:12:08,671 --> 00:12:11,440
Now, I believe that to
solve Homer's problem,

242
00:12:11,507 --> 00:12:13,241
he must face what's
inside the coffin.

243
00:12:13,309 --> 00:12:15,277
Forget it, Doc.

244
00:12:15,344 --> 00:12:17,045
What if that's
my marriage in there?

245
00:12:17,113 --> 00:12:18,113
Marriage, shmarriage.

246
00:12:18,181 --> 00:12:19,548
What's in the box, man?

247
00:12:23,836 --> 00:12:26,421
See what your monkeyshines
have done, boy?

248
00:12:26,472 --> 00:12:28,590
Still smells better than
your gym socks, man.

249
00:12:28,641 --> 00:12:30,075
Why you little...

250
00:12:30,143 --> 00:12:33,528
I'll teach you to make fun
of my socks.

251
00:12:33,596 --> 00:12:34,546
Here, quick!

252
00:12:34,614 --> 00:12:36,148
Everyone into my dream!

253
00:12:43,873 --> 00:12:48,643
What brings thy merry band
to Stratford's plains?

254
00:12:48,711 --> 00:12:49,795
Forsooth,
a myst'ry doth confound...

255
00:12:49,862 --> 00:12:51,730
In your dreams.

256
00:12:54,667 --> 00:12:56,501
We never do my thing.

257
00:12:59,889 --> 00:13:01,590
Ooh...

258
00:13:01,657 --> 00:13:02,624
Huh?

259
00:13:04,894 --> 00:13:08,496
I know this dream.

260
00:13:08,548 --> 00:13:10,365
It's the land of my
innermost thoughts

261
00:13:10,433 --> 00:13:12,167
and fondest desires.

262
00:13:12,235 --> 00:13:14,069
At last we'll get
to the bottom of...

263
00:13:14,137 --> 00:13:15,504
Welcome back, handsome.

264
00:13:19,025 --> 00:13:21,193
Uh, Marge,
this is my friend Keggy.

265
00:13:21,260 --> 00:13:23,245
Mmm...

266
00:13:23,312 --> 00:13:24,579
Oh...

267
00:13:58,147 --> 00:14:02,150
In this fantasy Kwik-E-Mart,
you get your change in bacon.

268
00:14:02,218 --> 00:14:03,368
Whoo-hoo!

269
00:14:08,758 --> 00:14:11,626
In this place mothers
are <i>for</i> drunk driving.

270
00:14:11,694 --> 00:14:13,895
Chug! Chug! Chug!

271
00:14:13,963 --> 00:14:15,730
Hey Dad, if this is
your fantasy world,

272
00:14:15,798 --> 00:14:17,282
how come Flanders is here?

273
00:14:17,350 --> 00:14:18,683
Hi-diddly-ho, dream team!

274
00:14:20,086 --> 00:14:21,453
Where's my God now?

275
00:14:23,022 --> 00:14:24,306
Homie!

276
00:14:24,373 --> 00:14:26,541
We're here to find answers
to your problem.

277
00:14:26,609 --> 00:14:28,176
We know there's a
marriage in trouble,

278
00:14:28,244 --> 00:14:29,744
and it has something
to do with fish.

279
00:14:30,913 --> 00:14:32,447
Oh, lighten up, Marge.

280
00:14:32,515 --> 00:14:34,216
I take you
to the Disneyland of me,

281
00:14:34,283 --> 00:14:36,384
and you just want
to go to the lost and found.

282
00:14:36,452 --> 00:14:37,619
Well, guess what?

283
00:14:37,687 --> 00:14:40,021
We're staying
in this dream forever.

284
00:14:44,527 --> 00:14:47,495
Whoo-hoo!
Wheeee!

285
00:14:47,563 --> 00:14:49,631
I'm in me!

286
00:14:49,699 --> 00:14:52,167
Oh, I love the down part!

287
00:14:52,235 --> 00:14:53,702
Here it comes! Whoo-hoo!

288
00:14:59,575 --> 00:15:02,844
Unplug these people,
Dr. Ker-dork-ian!

289
00:15:02,912 --> 00:15:05,063
Oh, you foolish man,
if I unhook them now,

290
00:15:05,131 --> 00:15:07,666
I won't know if this
is safe to use on chimps!

291
00:15:07,733 --> 00:15:09,067
All right,
I'll do it myself.

292
00:15:09,135 --> 00:15:10,969
Give me that, give me it!
No!

293
00:15:11,037 --> 00:15:12,120
Oh, the largeness!

294
00:15:35,278 --> 00:15:36,611
Quick!

295
00:15:36,679 --> 00:15:37,979
Gum up the gears with Moes.

296
00:15:42,702 --> 00:15:44,436
Hey, you know what's good for
cleaning Moe gunk

297
00:15:44,503 --> 00:15:45,537
out of your gears?

298
00:15:45,605 --> 00:15:47,005
White vinegar. Yeah.

299
00:15:59,528 --> 00:16:01,365
Uh, we're goona be here
a long time.

300
00:16:21,062 --> 00:16:23,610
Oh Death, you're a life saver.

301
00:16:30,937 --> 00:16:32,109
Thank you, Death.

302
00:16:32,134 --> 00:16:34,603
May I ask, what's
taken so long with Larry King?

303
00:16:34,628 --> 00:16:36,341
I am not...

304
00:16:37,180 --> 00:16:37,913
Death.

305
00:16:37,938 --> 00:16:38,848
Mom?!

306
00:16:38,873 --> 00:16:40,073
Grandma

307
00:16:40,098 --> 00:16:41,703
So your alive?

308
00:16:41,728 --> 00:16:44,770
No. But I live on
in Homer's dreams.

309
00:16:44,795 --> 00:16:47,196
Just like my hair.

310
00:16:47,221 --> 00:16:49,720
It's Jennifer Aniston's hair
on <i>Friends</i>.

311
00:16:49,745 --> 00:16:53,128
Exactly like Chandler,
always criticizing.

312
00:16:53,898 --> 00:16:55,790
Now, I have something
to show you.

313
00:16:55,815 --> 00:16:59,005
Something that just
might help Homer wake up dry.

314
00:17:00,993 --> 00:17:02,493
Hmm.
Wow.

315
00:17:04,508 --> 00:17:05,708
Roomy.

316
00:17:09,214 --> 00:17:10,897
While you boys are out
playing in the boat

317
00:17:10,922 --> 00:17:13,141
I'll go to the store
and pick us up some dinner.

318
00:17:13,166 --> 00:17:15,371
No need. With two Simpson
men in the boat

319
00:17:15,396 --> 00:17:18,283
will bring you back
a pile of fish.

320
00:17:18,308 --> 00:17:20,341
I'm in charge
of the tackle box

321
00:17:24,046 --> 00:17:26,040
Ha-ha. And we're off

322
00:17:26,065 --> 00:17:27,265
Bye.

323
00:17:28,053 --> 00:17:31,024
Man Homer, you've
always been a loser.

324
00:17:31,517 --> 00:17:34,115
Why you little...
there's nothing in this dream

325
00:17:34,140 --> 00:17:36,159
world that can't strangle you.

326
00:17:37,740 --> 00:17:41,458
Um, I hear you and mommy
yelling again last night.

327
00:17:41,483 --> 00:17:43,520
Oh, no, no.

328
00:17:43,545 --> 00:17:45,645
It was just a TV show.

329
00:17:45,680 --> 00:17:48,782
Mitch Miller was yelling
at one of his idiot singers.

330
00:17:48,850 --> 00:17:51,418
You just concentrate
on catching the fish

331
00:17:51,485 --> 00:17:54,588
and not whether there'll be
someone there to cook it.

332
00:17:54,655 --> 00:17:55,889
I got a bite!

333
00:17:55,957 --> 00:17:57,657
We got a fish!
We got a fish!

334
00:17:57,708 --> 00:17:59,509
All right,
settle down there, boy.

335
00:17:59,594 --> 00:18:01,328
After we eat it,
can we let it go?

336
00:18:01,395 --> 00:18:02,696
Can we catch
a submarine?

337
00:18:06,751 --> 00:18:08,919
<i>You got home hours late</i>
<i>with no fish.</i>

338
00:18:08,986 --> 00:18:10,520
It was only
a few weeks later

339
00:18:10,588 --> 00:18:12,272
that I left your father
for good.

340
00:18:12,340 --> 00:18:15,358
You left him because
I tipped the boat over

341
00:18:15,426 --> 00:18:17,093
and ruined the vacation?

342
00:18:17,161 --> 00:18:18,461
Pathetic.

343
00:18:18,529 --> 00:18:20,113
A kid who can't keep
his parents' marriage together

344
00:18:20,181 --> 00:18:21,514
is no kid at all.

345
00:18:21,582 --> 00:18:22,666
It's true!

346
00:18:22,733 --> 00:18:25,201
I failed the basic duty
of childhood.

347
00:18:26,571 --> 00:18:28,138
And then when
I took Bart fishing,

348
00:18:28,205 --> 00:18:31,274
it all came back, and the guilt
made me wet the bed.

349
00:18:31,342 --> 00:18:33,193
Case closed.

350
00:18:33,261 --> 00:18:34,327
Mm-hmm.

351
00:18:34,395 --> 00:18:36,329
Now, let's return
our dream skis.

352
00:18:36,397 --> 00:18:37,964
Case not closed.
Hmm?

353
00:18:38,032 --> 00:18:40,584
Homer, you have nothing
to feel guilty about,

354
00:18:40,651 --> 00:18:42,452
and I can show you.

355
00:18:42,520 --> 00:18:43,420
Roll the
film, Cletus.

356
00:18:43,487 --> 00:18:44,854
"Roll the film, Cletus."

357
00:18:44,922 --> 00:18:46,022
"Kiss me, Cletus."

358
00:18:46,090 --> 00:18:48,625
Whatever you say, boss lady.

359
00:18:49,827 --> 00:18:51,444
Sorry, Mona.

360
00:18:51,512 --> 00:18:54,247
We had more of an adventure
than we planned on.

361
00:18:54,315 --> 00:18:55,649
It's okay, Abe.

362
00:18:55,716 --> 00:18:58,084
You brought back
the only treasure I care about.

363
00:19:00,104 --> 00:19:03,206
And when the time came that
I had to leave your father,

364
00:19:03,274 --> 00:19:05,091
I knew you were
in good hands.

365
00:19:05,159 --> 00:19:06,443
I'm cured!

366
00:19:06,527 --> 00:19:08,411
I'll never
wet the bed again.

367
00:19:08,496 --> 00:19:10,313
And maybe you'll stop
overeating, too.

368
00:19:10,381 --> 00:19:11,715
No can do, baby.

369
00:19:15,536 --> 00:19:17,437
And never
forget, Homer:

370
00:19:17,505 --> 00:19:21,324
the three of us will always
be together, in your memory.

371
00:19:21,392 --> 00:19:23,176
Right next to
the movie trivia.

372
00:19:23,244 --> 00:19:25,078
Stanley Kubrick
wanted Robin Williams

373
00:19:25,146 --> 00:19:26,663
to star in <i>The Shining.</i>

374
00:19:26,731 --> 00:19:30,066
<i>Casablanca</i> was originally
going to star Ronald Reagan.

375
00:19:30,134 --> 00:19:32,502
There was a <i>Grease 2,</i>
and I wasn't in it.

376
00:19:32,570 --> 00:19:33,570
Whoa!
Hey, watch it!

377
00:19:33,638 --> 00:19:34,888
There you go again.
Shazbot!

378
00:19:34,939 --> 00:19:39,159
And now you'd better
run along, sweetheart.

379
00:19:39,226 --> 00:19:40,694
Good-bye.

380
00:19:43,347 --> 00:19:44,981
Hmm?

381
00:19:45,049 --> 00:19:46,666
Hmm?

382
00:19:46,734 --> 00:19:48,335
Huh?

383
00:19:55,109 --> 00:19:57,110
Whoo-hoo! I'm dry!

384
00:19:57,178 --> 00:20:00,046
Come on, everybody,
feel Daddy's underpants!

385
00:20:00,114 --> 00:20:01,648
We'll take your
word for it.

386
00:20:03,050 --> 00:20:04,417
So what do I do again?

387
00:20:04,485 --> 00:20:05,752
Spin the top.

388
00:20:05,820 --> 00:20:08,004
If it falls over,
we're in reality.

389
00:20:08,072 --> 00:20:10,607
If it spins forever,
we're still in a dream.

390
00:20:10,675 --> 00:20:11,541
All right.

391
00:20:13,944 --> 00:20:15,478
Look at it go!

392
00:20:15,546 --> 00:20:16,980
All right!

393
00:20:17,048 --> 00:20:18,381
Hey, since it's a dream,

394
00:20:18,449 --> 00:20:20,684
let's ride our bikes naked
around town.

395
00:20:20,924 --> 00:20:22,692
Sounds like a plan.

396
00:20:28,682 --> 00:20:29,982
Is that hail coming down?

397
00:20:30,050 --> 00:20:31,117
It's just dream hail.

398
00:20:31,185 --> 00:20:32,385
Ow! Ooh! Ow!

399
00:20:32,452 --> 00:20:35,049
Dream hail!

400
00:20:35,124 --> 00:20:36,725
Hey, there's a dream truck.

401
00:20:36,793 --> 00:20:38,460
Ow!

402
00:20:38,528 --> 00:20:41,728
== sync, corrected by <font color="#00ff00">elderman</font> ==

403
00:20:41,749 --> 00:20:46,480
♪ When you were little,
you dreamed you were big ♪

404
00:20:46,580 --> 00:20:51,451
♪ You must have been something,
a real tiny kid ♪

405
00:20:51,518 --> 00:20:56,155
♪ When you were big
and needed advice ♪

406
00:20:56,223 --> 00:20:58,658
♪ You reached for your mom ♪

407
00:20:58,726 --> 00:21:02,957
♪ You dreamed me alive ♪

408
00:21:04,377 --> 00:21:09,567
♪ And your dream had a name ♪

409
00:21:09,592 --> 00:21:15,289
♪ And the name told your story ♪

410
00:21:15,314 --> 00:21:19,833
♪ It's called, growing up ♪

411
00:21:19,858 --> 00:21:24,988
♪ You're the dream operator ♪

