1
00:00:04,218 --> 00:00:05,417
(barks, whimpers)
2
00:00:08,476 --> 00:00:09,676
D'oh!
3
00:00:09,701 --> 00:00:10,901
(tires screeching)
4
00:00:10,966 --> 00:00:12,467
(grunts)
5
00:00:12,603 --> 00:00:16,103
♪ The Simpsons 23x16 ♪ How
I Wet Your Mother Original Air Date on March 11, 2012
6
00:00:16,206 --> 00:00:19,706
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther
7
00:00:28,751 --> 00:00:29,984
(beep)
8
00:00:30,052 --> 00:00:32,320
(whirring)
9
00:00:32,388 --> 00:00:33,321
(door creaks)
10
00:00:33,389 --> 00:00:34,305
(buzzing)
11
00:00:34,373 --> 00:00:35,423
(zapping)
12
00:00:38,577 --> 00:00:40,478
Item being procured:
13
00:00:40,546 --> 00:00:42,981
One standard-sized paper clip.
14
00:00:44,617 --> 00:00:45,784
Hmm.
15
00:00:49,638 --> 00:00:51,623
Did you guys see
that stupid foul call
16
00:00:51,707 --> 00:00:53,291
in the game last night?
17
00:00:53,376 --> 00:00:56,978
See it? We followed the ref home
and beat the crap out of him.
18
00:00:57,046 --> 00:00:59,631
Yeah, I ill think that might've been
a kid who worked at Foot Locker.
19
00:00:59,715 --> 00:01:00,982
Hey, the supply room's open.
20
00:01:01,050 --> 00:01:02,016
I better close it.
21
00:01:05,087 --> 00:01:08,907
Unguarded stuff...!
22
00:01:08,974 --> 00:01:11,076
(grunts, chuckles)
23
00:01:11,143 --> 00:01:13,478
Attention, lovers
of free office supplies!
24
00:01:13,546 --> 00:01:17,031
Come and steal things
you can easily afford!
25
00:01:17,099 --> 00:01:19,250
♪ ♪
26
00:01:24,123 --> 00:01:26,858
(sizzling)
27
00:01:26,926 --> 00:01:29,427
♪ ♪
28
00:01:30,463 --> 00:01:33,314
(loud scraping, rattling)
29
00:01:33,382 --> 00:01:35,216
(horn honking, tires screech)
30
00:01:36,402 --> 00:01:38,086
(stapling)
31
00:01:38,154 --> 00:01:39,058
(chuckles)
32
00:01:39,058 --> 00:01:41,293
Can someone open this
bottle of mother wolf
33
00:01:41,320 --> 00:01:42,520
placenta for me?
34
00:01:43,209 --> 00:01:45,610
(gasps)
Mr. Burns!
35
00:01:45,678 --> 00:01:47,295
Save me, panic!
Huh?
36
00:01:48,531 --> 00:01:50,682
MAN:
Oh!
37
00:01:50,749 --> 00:01:51,799
Whoo-hoo!
38
00:01:51,851 --> 00:01:52,951
(rapid clicking)
39
00:01:53,018 --> 00:01:54,869
(gasps) My rubberized bands!
40
00:01:54,937 --> 00:01:56,271
My binder clips!
41
00:01:56,338 --> 00:01:58,540
(shudders)
My accordion Post-its!
44
00:02:02,035 --> 00:02:04,849
Oh, Lenny, why would
you steal my bear?
45
00:02:04,873 --> 00:02:06,774
I just wanted something
to cuddle at night.
46
00:02:06,886 --> 00:02:07,990
That's my cuddle bear!
47
00:02:07,991 --> 00:02:10,174
I loved him, I shot
him... he's mine!
48
00:02:10,703 --> 00:02:11,703
(crow caws)
49
00:02:11,703 --> 00:02:13,028
It has come to my attention
50
00:02:13,029 --> 00:02:14,906
that you lunch-bagging
wage lizards
51
00:02:14,907 --> 00:02:16,373
are robbing me blind.
52
00:02:16,435 --> 00:02:19,881
If you paid us better,
we wouldn't have to steal!
53
00:02:19,881 --> 00:02:21,382
You don't even work here!
54
00:02:21,454 --> 00:02:24,490
Wha...?! You mean I've been
calling in sick for nothing?
55
00:02:24,563 --> 00:02:26,766
I might not be here
tomorrow, that's for sure.
56
00:02:26,766 --> 00:02:28,350
Only one of you monkeys
wasn't caught
57
00:02:28,357 --> 00:02:30,242
with his sticky paw
in my tin cup.
58
00:02:30,309 --> 00:02:31,593
Homer Simpson.
59
00:02:31,661 --> 00:02:33,195
(chuckles) How you doing there?
60
00:02:33,879 --> 00:02:35,699
Wow, he threw us
under the bus,
61
00:02:35,699 --> 00:02:37,637
and now he's sitting
in the bus driver's lap.
62
00:02:37,784 --> 00:02:39,951
Now, Simpson, how
is it that you alone
63
00:02:40,019 --> 00:02:42,804
managed to keep your moral
compass pointed to true north?
64
00:02:42,855 --> 00:02:45,359
Well, sir, before
I do anything,
65
00:02:45,360 --> 00:02:47,105
I stop and ask myself:
66
00:02:47,105 --> 00:02:50,175
"What would Jesus
and Mr. Burns do?"
67
00:02:50,213 --> 00:02:52,114
You are garbage made flesh!
68
00:02:52,181 --> 00:02:53,515
This is a mockery!
69
00:02:53,583 --> 00:02:56,437
Hush! Now, while Simpson
gets the day off,
70
00:02:56,438 --> 00:02:58,974
the rest of you will write
30-page essays entitled
71
00:02:58,974 --> 00:03:01,523
"Homer Simpson:
Moral Lodestar."
72
00:03:01,574 --> 00:03:03,278
Question: Can we
have fun with it?
73
00:03:03,279 --> 00:03:04,339
No, you may not.
74
00:03:04,617 --> 00:03:06,127
(grumbling)
75
00:03:06,179 --> 00:03:07,479
(birds chirping)
76
00:03:07,547 --> 00:03:09,200
(chuckles) You know, boy,
77
00:03:09,200 --> 00:03:11,931
my dad used to take me fishing
just like this.
78
00:03:11,951 --> 00:03:14,219
(text chimes sounding)
79
00:03:14,287 --> 00:03:17,422
(chuckles)
More angry texts from work.
80
00:03:17,865 --> 00:03:20,125
(whistles)
That's a lot of eights.
81
00:03:20,933 --> 00:03:23,031
I can't believe you got all your
friends in trouble
82
00:03:23,032 --> 00:03:24,510
and you got the day off!
83
00:03:24,666 --> 00:03:26,534
Hey, it's called karma.
84
00:03:27,695 --> 00:03:30,210
Isn't karma where if
you do something bad,
85
00:03:30,211 --> 00:03:31,731
bad things happen to you?
86
00:03:31,731 --> 00:03:34,423
(chuckles)
A common misconception.
87
00:03:35,308 --> 00:03:37,416
Suck it, karma! Yeah!
88
00:03:37,417 --> 00:03:39,098
I'm talking to you, karma!
89
00:03:39,099 --> 00:03:40,484
Ha-ha-ha!
90
00:03:40,484 --> 00:03:42,351
Karma's a bitch, karma!
91
00:03:43,420 --> 00:03:45,020
(yawns)
92
00:03:45,088 --> 00:03:48,824
Ah, nothing better
than a lazy Saturday morning
93
00:03:48,892 --> 00:03:51,494
lying in a warm, moist bed,
94
00:03:51,561 --> 00:03:53,262
because weekends are...
95
00:03:53,330 --> 00:03:54,730
Moist?!
96
00:03:54,798 --> 00:03:56,899
I wet the bed!
97
00:03:56,967 --> 00:03:59,769
The one embarrassing thing
I've never done!
98
00:04:03,112 --> 00:04:04,746
(whimpering):
I...
99
00:04:04,813 --> 00:04:07,550
(muttering)
100
00:04:07,984 --> 00:04:10,081
Marge, from time to time
I've heard you speak
101
00:04:10,082 --> 00:04:12,651
of a "washing machine."
102
00:04:12,651 --> 00:04:14,852
Where would I find
this marvelous contraption?
103
00:04:14,978 --> 00:04:17,818
Why? Are you going
to do the laundry?
104
00:04:18,712 --> 00:04:20,174
Not just the laundry.
105
00:04:20,175 --> 00:04:21,410
That would be weird,
106
00:04:21,411 --> 00:04:22,977
and you might ask questions.
107
00:04:23,045 --> 00:04:24,879
I'm gonna do all the chores.
108
00:04:24,947 --> 00:04:26,964
HOMES BRAIN:
What the hell are you doing!
109
00:04:27,032 --> 00:04:28,232
Don't yell at me, brain.
110
00:04:28,300 --> 00:04:29,984
This happened on your watch.
111
00:04:30,052 --> 00:04:32,487
You have two jobs...
thinking and bladder control!
112
00:04:32,554 --> 00:04:34,722
I'm doing the best
with what I got.
113
00:04:34,790 --> 00:04:36,657
All you feed me
is reality shows!
114
00:04:36,725 --> 00:04:39,293
I like to watch
Lamar Odom play Xbox
115
00:04:39,361 --> 00:04:41,396
while his giant wife
yells at him.
116
00:04:41,463 --> 00:04:43,131
Is that so nuts?!
117
00:04:44,333 --> 00:04:45,233
Huh?!
118
00:04:46,468 --> 00:04:48,319
Yeah, shut you up.
119
00:04:48,386 --> 00:04:49,520
(birds chirping)
120
00:04:50,939 --> 00:04:53,007
Now, I'm sure
yesterday's incident
121
00:04:53,075 --> 00:04:56,144
of urination domination
was a one-time deal.
122
00:04:56,211 --> 00:04:58,546
But just to make sure...
123
00:04:58,614 --> 00:04:59,781
(shrieks)
124
00:04:59,848 --> 00:05:02,800
Oh, why can't
I cork my wang-wine?
125
00:05:02,868 --> 00:05:04,368
Homer...
126
00:05:04,436 --> 00:05:07,371
you do not yet understand
the meaning of karma.
127
00:05:07,439 --> 00:05:10,124
But isn't karma just an
expression of the dharma?
128
00:05:10,192 --> 00:05:11,270
(stammering)
129
00:05:11,270 --> 00:05:12,759
That is beside the point, okay?
130
00:05:12,759 --> 00:05:14,590
If something bad
is happening to you,
131
00:05:14,590 --> 00:05:17,009
it must be because of
something you did to others.
132
00:05:17,082 --> 00:05:18,182
(gasps)
133
00:05:18,250 --> 00:05:19,583
Deep down, I must be
feeling guilty
134
00:05:19,635 --> 00:05:21,486
about getting
my friends in trouble!
135
00:05:21,553 --> 00:05:25,423
And my problem won't stop till
I make things right with them!
136
00:05:25,491 --> 00:05:29,293
But first, a little
more sleep, hm?
137
00:05:29,361 --> 00:05:31,345
(grunting) (snoring)
138
00:05:33,482 --> 00:05:36,217
This is the best "I'm sorry"
party Homer's ever thrown.
139
00:05:36,285 --> 00:05:37,752
Who the hell are you?
140
00:05:37,820 --> 00:05:39,253
I'm sorry.
Cheese on that?
141
00:05:39,321 --> 00:05:40,855
Sorry. Hey, Lenny.
142
00:05:40,923 --> 00:05:42,023
Sorry.
143
00:05:42,090 --> 00:05:43,357
One more announcement.
144
00:05:43,425 --> 00:05:44,992
Make sure you whack
145
00:05:45,060 --> 00:05:47,812
"piñata me"
and not "real me."
146
00:05:47,880 --> 00:05:50,381
(grunting)
147
00:05:50,449 --> 00:05:52,033
A lot of work
148
00:05:52,100 --> 00:05:53,518
went into this thing.
149
00:05:53,585 --> 00:05:55,536
(grunting)
150
00:05:55,604 --> 00:05:57,104
Die! Die!
151
00:05:57,172 --> 00:05:59,073
Die!
So, I got to know,
152
00:05:59,141 --> 00:06:00,341
do you guys forgive me?
153
00:06:00,409 --> 00:06:01,843
OTHERS:
Oh, yeah!
154
00:06:01,927 --> 00:06:06,347
Ain't no problem that free food
and free booze won't fix.
155
00:06:06,415 --> 00:06:07,815
Free?! Uh...
156
00:06:07,883 --> 00:06:09,684
Oh...
157
00:06:09,751 --> 00:06:11,219
Free it is!
158
00:06:11,286 --> 00:06:12,553
(cheering, whooping)
159
00:06:12,621 --> 00:06:14,155
Thanks, guys.
160
00:06:14,223 --> 00:06:15,189
(chuckles)
161
00:06:15,257 --> 00:06:16,524
Tomorrow morning
162
00:06:16,592 --> 00:06:19,627
my sheets will be as dry
as the surface of Mars,
163
00:06:19,695 --> 00:06:21,262
except for the poles.
164
00:06:21,330 --> 00:06:22,463
(birds chirping)
165
00:06:27,219 --> 00:06:28,586
(gasps) What the...?
166
00:06:28,654 --> 00:06:30,121
Wet? Again?
167
00:06:30,189 --> 00:06:32,890
Oh, I did the right thing
for nothing!
168
00:06:32,958 --> 00:06:35,827
There's only one solution left.
169
00:06:37,062 --> 00:06:38,012
(grunting)
170
00:06:39,331 --> 00:06:40,565
Mm-hmm.
171
00:06:40,632 --> 00:06:42,433
Mm-hmm-hmm.
172
00:06:49,975 --> 00:06:51,909
MAN (over loudspeakers):
Homer Simpson!
173
00:06:51,977 --> 00:06:55,479
You forgot your receipt for
your adult bedwetting product!
174
00:06:55,547 --> 00:06:57,048
Homer Simpson!
175
00:06:57,115 --> 00:06:58,583
Are you there?!
176
00:06:58,650 --> 00:06:59,717
(light scraping)
177
00:07:05,190 --> 00:07:07,658
Mm-hmm, okay.
178
00:07:07,726 --> 00:07:11,312
Place detection pad here.
179
00:07:11,380 --> 00:07:15,233
Connect alarm hook-up... here.
180
00:07:15,300 --> 00:07:18,736
Now, that's what I call
looking out for number one.
181
00:07:18,804 --> 00:07:20,004
(chuckles)
182
00:07:21,173 --> 00:07:22,940
(Homer snoring)
183
00:07:23,008 --> 00:07:24,408
(alarm blaring)
184
00:07:24,476 --> 00:07:26,260
(gasps) What's going on?
185
00:07:26,328 --> 00:07:28,329
Uh, uh, that was
just the fire alarm.
186
00:07:28,397 --> 00:07:30,114
Try to go back to sleep.
187
00:07:30,182 --> 00:07:31,766
(grunting) Shut up!
188
00:07:31,833 --> 00:07:33,668
(alarm stops)
Oh... (gasps)
189
00:07:33,735 --> 00:07:34,802
(laughs):
Whoa-hoa-hoa!
190
00:07:34,870 --> 00:07:35,770
What's going on?
191
00:07:35,854 --> 00:07:37,371
Is this a joke?
192
00:07:37,439 --> 00:07:40,875
Son, I'm afraid the
Uralarm Whiz-no-more 9000
193
00:07:40,943 --> 00:07:42,577
is no joke.
194
00:07:42,644 --> 00:07:43,945
What is going on?
195
00:07:44,012 --> 00:07:45,179
(groans)
196
00:07:45,247 --> 00:07:47,014
Kids, there's something
I have to tell you.
197
00:07:47,082 --> 00:07:49,383
Your mother and I
are wetting the bed.
198
00:07:49,451 --> 00:07:51,085
"We're" wetting the bed?
199
00:07:51,153 --> 00:07:53,821
Hey, when you were pregnant,
everything was "we."
200
00:07:53,889 --> 00:07:55,156
(grumbles)
201
00:07:55,223 --> 00:07:56,557
(smooching, moaning)
202
00:07:56,625 --> 00:07:58,092
HOMER:
I'm so turned on.
203
00:07:58,160 --> 00:08:00,194
(both moaning)
204
00:08:01,964 --> 00:08:03,631
(grumbles) What?
205
00:08:03,699 --> 00:08:05,266
I'm sorry, Homie.
206
00:08:05,334 --> 00:08:07,234
A diaper just isn't sexy.
207
00:08:07,302 --> 00:08:08,736
What about Cupid?
208
00:08:08,804 --> 00:08:10,071
He's smokin' hot.
209
00:08:10,138 --> 00:08:11,772
He's a baby with wings.
210
00:08:11,840 --> 00:08:15,643
Marge, it's not the diaper,
it's what's inside.
211
00:08:15,711 --> 00:08:16,744
(chuckles)
212
00:08:16,812 --> 00:08:19,847
(singing striptease music)
213
00:08:21,116 --> 00:08:23,250
(continues singing
striptease music)
214
00:08:23,318 --> 00:08:25,353
That's just not
doing it for me.
215
00:08:25,420 --> 00:08:26,754
Oh...
216
00:08:28,357 --> 00:08:29,657
(Homer snoring)
217
00:08:29,725 --> 00:08:31,692
(continues snoring)
218
00:08:34,096 --> 00:08:35,863
♪ ♪
219
00:08:38,667 --> 00:08:41,502
(explosion, yelling)
220
00:08:43,171 --> 00:08:45,239
Professor Frink,
are you all right?
221
00:08:45,307 --> 00:08:47,391
Oh, yes, yes,
I'm fine, my dear.
222
00:08:47,459 --> 00:08:50,344
I was just trying to get past
the New York Times pay-wall,
223
00:08:50,429 --> 00:08:51,762
and then kaboy!
224
00:08:51,830 --> 00:08:53,998
And what brings you out
in the middle of the night?
225
00:08:54,066 --> 00:08:56,167
It's kind of embarrassing.
226
00:08:56,234 --> 00:08:59,186
Yes, I heard about your
husband's bedwetting problem.
227
00:08:59,254 --> 00:09:00,988
How do you know about it?
228
00:09:01,056 --> 00:09:03,824
Tweeted by Bart,
re-tweeted by Krusty.
229
00:09:03,892 --> 00:09:05,059
(grumbles)
230
00:09:05,127 --> 00:09:06,394
Well, perhaps I can help.
231
00:09:06,461 --> 00:09:08,529
You see, I have
invented a device
232
00:09:08,597 --> 00:09:11,365
that allows you to enter
someone else's dreams
233
00:09:11,433 --> 00:09:13,668
and explore their subconscious.
234
00:09:13,735 --> 00:09:16,170
So we can go inside
Homer's sleeping mind
235
00:09:16,238 --> 00:09:18,622
and find out why
he's wetting the bed?
236
00:09:18,690 --> 00:09:20,558
Uh, yes. In fact,
I just used it
237
00:09:20,625 --> 00:09:23,694
to cure another Springfielder
of his particular obsession.
238
00:09:23,762 --> 00:09:26,263
Normal Stu likes normal things!
239
00:09:26,331 --> 00:09:27,398
Hmm.
240
00:09:27,466 --> 00:09:28,599
(Homer snoring)
241
00:09:30,135 --> 00:09:31,836
(continues snoring)
242
00:09:31,903 --> 00:09:34,405
We're actually entering
Dad's dreams?
243
00:09:34,473 --> 00:09:36,741
Yes, yes. You see,
it's the only way
244
00:09:36,808 --> 00:09:39,810
you can uncover the
psychological trauma
245
00:09:39,878 --> 00:09:42,580
that is causing your
father's secret shame.
246
00:09:42,647 --> 00:09:44,749
Why does Maggie have to go?
247
00:09:44,816 --> 00:09:46,450
What am I, a babysitter?!
248
00:09:46,518 --> 00:09:47,568
(click)
249
00:09:47,636 --> 00:09:49,904
(sigh) So no school for me.
250
00:09:49,971 --> 00:09:51,739
(whooshing, zapping)
251
00:09:51,807 --> 00:09:54,709
♪ ♪
252
00:09:54,793 --> 00:09:56,861
(grunting)
253
00:09:56,928 --> 00:09:59,363
(chuckles) Hey, guys,
whatcha doing in my dream?
254
00:09:59,414 --> 00:10:00,998
Trying to fix your broken brain.
255
00:10:01,066 --> 00:10:02,466
My brain's fine.
256
00:10:02,534 --> 00:10:04,752
In my dreams, I'm
an intermediate skier!
257
00:10:06,104 --> 00:10:08,389
♪ ♪
258
00:10:08,457 --> 00:10:10,191
(Maggie sucking pacifier)
259
00:10:10,258 --> 00:10:13,761
(sinister laughter)
260
00:10:13,845 --> 00:10:15,646
Ski patrol!
Everybody be cool!
261
00:10:15,713 --> 00:10:17,565
It's Death!
I recognize him
262
00:10:17,649 --> 00:10:19,716
from 40th birthday cards.
263
00:10:19,768 --> 00:10:21,502
(Death chuckling)
264
00:10:21,570 --> 00:10:23,237
Homie, this might be a clue.
265
00:10:23,321 --> 00:10:24,488
What's in that coffin
266
00:10:24,556 --> 00:10:27,074
could be behind your
nighttime oopsies.
267
00:10:27,159 --> 00:10:28,609
You wet the bed?!
268
00:10:28,693 --> 00:10:31,078
Oh... great!
Now Death knows!
269
00:10:32,914 --> 00:10:35,733
(whimpering)
270
00:10:35,801 --> 00:10:36,867
(screams)
271
00:10:36,935 --> 00:10:37,918
What do you see?
272
00:10:38,003 --> 00:10:39,736
Uh, nothing,
typical dream nonsense.
273
00:10:43,725 --> 00:10:44,759
(all screaming)
274
00:10:44,843 --> 00:10:46,093
Relax.
275
00:10:46,178 --> 00:10:48,212
Everyone knows
that if you die in a dream,
276
00:10:48,263 --> 00:10:49,413
you just wake up.
277
00:10:49,464 --> 00:10:50,881
(phone rings)
278
00:10:50,932 --> 00:10:52,633
Oh, uh, actually,
279
00:10:52,717 --> 00:10:56,720
because I neglected to install
the latest Adobe Acrobat update,
280
00:10:56,788 --> 00:10:59,857
if you die in the dream,
you die in real life.
281
00:10:59,925 --> 00:11:00,758
(gasps)
282
00:11:00,826 --> 00:11:02,293
Incidentally, I've also proven
283
00:11:02,360 --> 00:11:04,962
that Hell is real,
and everyone goes there.
284
00:11:05,030 --> 00:11:05,980
Frink out.
285
00:11:06,047 --> 00:11:08,032
(all screaming)
286
00:11:11,515 --> 00:11:13,804
(screaming)
287
00:11:14,588 --> 00:11:16,706
Wait a minute, I can't die.
288
00:11:16,757 --> 00:11:18,642
(roaring)
289
00:11:18,709 --> 00:11:19,843
Mommy.
290
00:11:21,495 --> 00:11:22,512
(screaming resumes)
291
00:11:22,563 --> 00:11:23,730
Listen, everyone.
292
00:11:23,814 --> 00:11:25,565
We should fall asleep
in this dream.
293
00:11:25,650 --> 00:11:27,017
One minute at this level
294
00:11:27,068 --> 00:11:29,836
equals two hours one
dream level below.
295
00:11:29,904 --> 00:11:31,220
Wait, dreams have rules?
296
00:11:31,272 --> 00:11:33,073
Everything has rules, Bart.
297
00:11:33,157 --> 00:11:34,724
Not me, when I hit
the dance floor.
298
00:11:34,775 --> 00:11:36,609
(making goofy noises)
299
00:11:41,415 --> 00:11:43,166
Ooh-ooh-ooh!
Ah-ah-ah!
300
00:11:47,738 --> 00:11:49,122
(snoring)
301
00:11:53,477 --> 00:11:55,211
(belches) Bart!
302
00:11:55,279 --> 00:11:58,064
Can the chatter
and fetch me a baloney sandwich.
303
00:11:58,132 --> 00:11:59,866
Why don't you
fetch it yourself, man.
304
00:12:01,202 --> 00:12:03,303
Bart's making faces!
305
00:12:03,371 --> 00:12:05,989
Shut up, you kids,
and bring me baloney.
306
00:12:06,057 --> 00:12:07,991
(grunting)
307
00:12:08,059 --> 00:12:10,160
Wait nicely.
308
00:12:10,227 --> 00:12:12,095
Simpson family?
309
00:12:14,665 --> 00:12:17,434
Now, I believe that to
solve Homer's problem,
310
00:12:17,501 --> 00:12:19,235
he must face what's
inside the coffin.
311
00:12:19,303 --> 00:12:21,271
Forget it, Doc.
312
00:12:21,338 --> 00:12:23,039
What if that's
my marriage in there?
313
00:12:23,107 --> 00:12:24,107
Marriage, shmarriage.
314
00:12:24,175 --> 00:12:25,542
What's in the box, man?
315
00:12:27,344 --> 00:12:28,261
(yelling)
316
00:12:29,830 --> 00:12:32,415
See what your monkeyshines
have done, boy?
317
00:12:32,466 --> 00:12:34,584
Still smells better than
your gym socks, man.
318
00:12:34,635 --> 00:12:36,069
Why you little...
319
00:12:36,137 --> 00:12:39,522
I'll teach you to make fun
of my socks.
320
00:12:39,590 --> 00:12:40,540
Here, quick!
321
00:12:40,608 --> 00:12:42,142
Everyone into my dream!
322
00:12:48,065 --> 00:12:49,799
(gasps)
323
00:12:50,648 --> 00:12:54,567
What brings thy merry band
to Stratford's plains?
324
00:12:54,643 --> 00:12:55,998
Forsooth,
a myst'ry doth confound...
325
00:12:55,998 --> 00:12:57,866
In your dreams.
326
00:13:00,661 --> 00:13:02,495
We never do my thing.
327
00:13:05,883 --> 00:13:07,584
Ooh...
328
00:13:07,651 --> 00:13:08,618
Huh?
329
00:13:08,669 --> 00:13:10,820
(grunts, gasps)
330
00:13:10,888 --> 00:13:14,490
I know this dream.
331
00:13:14,542 --> 00:13:16,359
It's the land of my
innermost thoughts
332
00:13:16,427 --> 00:13:18,161
and fondest desires.
333
00:13:18,229 --> 00:13:20,063
At last we'll get
to the bottom of...
334
00:13:20,131 --> 00:13:21,498
WOMAN:
Welcome back, handsome.
335
00:13:23,851 --> 00:13:24,951
(nervous giggles)
336
00:13:25,019 --> 00:13:27,187
Uh, Marge,
this is my friend Keggy.
337
00:13:27,254 --> 00:13:29,239
Mmm...
338
00:13:29,306 --> 00:13:30,573
Oh...
339
00:13:59,186 --> 00:14:00,653
(doors ding)
340
00:14:04,141 --> 00:14:08,144
In this fantasy Kwik-E-Mart,
you get your change in bacon.
341
00:14:08,212 --> 00:14:09,362
Whoo-hoo!
342
00:14:14,752 --> 00:14:17,620
MOES: In this place mothers
are for drunk driving.
343
00:14:17,688 --> 00:14:19,889
ALL:
Chug! Chug! Chug!
344
00:14:19,957 --> 00:14:21,724
Hey Dad, if this is
your fantasy world,
345
00:14:21,792 --> 00:14:23,276
how come Flanders is here?
346
00:14:23,344 --> 00:14:24,677
Hi-diddly-ho, dream team!
347
00:14:24,745 --> 00:14:26,029
(screams)
348
00:14:26,080 --> 00:14:27,447
Where's my God now?
349
00:14:27,515 --> 00:14:28,948
(laughing)
350
00:14:29,016 --> 00:14:30,300
Homie!
351
00:14:30,367 --> 00:14:32,535
We're here to find answers
to your problem.
352
00:14:32,603 --> 00:14:34,170
We know there's a
marriage in trouble,
353
00:14:34,238 --> 00:14:35,738
and it has something
to do with fish.
354
00:14:36,907 --> 00:14:38,441
Oh, lighten up, Marge.
355
00:14:38,509 --> 00:14:40,210
I take you
to the Disneyland of me,
356
00:14:40,277 --> 00:14:42,378
and you just want
to go to the lost and found.
357
00:14:42,446 --> 00:14:43,613
Well, guess what?
358
00:14:43,681 --> 00:14:46,015
We're staying
in this dream forever.
359
00:14:48,552 --> 00:14:50,453
(laughing)
360
00:14:50,521 --> 00:14:53,489
Whoo-hoo! (laughs)
Wheeee!
361
00:14:53,557 --> 00:14:55,625
I'm in me!
(laughs)
362
00:14:55,693 --> 00:14:58,161
Oh, I love the down part!
363
00:14:58,229 --> 00:14:59,696
Here it comes! Whoo-hoo!
364
00:15:01,065 --> 00:15:02,899
(humming)
365
00:15:05,569 --> 00:15:08,838
Unplug these people,
Dr. Ker-dork-ian!
366
00:15:08,906 --> 00:15:11,057
Oh, you foolish man,
if I unhook them now,
367
00:15:11,125 --> 00:15:13,660
I won't know if this
is safe to use on chimps!
368
00:15:13,727 --> 00:15:15,061
All right, I'll do it myself.
369
00:15:15,129 --> 00:15:16,963
Give me that, give me it!
No!
370
00:15:17,031 --> 00:15:18,114
Oh, the largeness!
371
00:15:30,044 --> 00:15:32,128
(screaming)
372
00:15:41,272 --> 00:15:42,605
(shrieks) Quick!
373
00:15:42,673 --> 00:15:44,602
Gum up the gears with Moes.
374
00:15:48,446 --> 00:15:50,415
Hey, you know what's good for
cleaning Moe gunk
375
00:15:50,457 --> 00:15:51,491
out of your gears?
376
00:15:51,599 --> 00:15:52,999
White vinegar. Yeah.
377
00:15:53,067 --> 00:15:53,900
(screaming)
378
00:16:08,321 --> 00:16:10,158
Uh, we're goona be here
a long time.
379
00:16:29,934 --> 00:16:32,482
Oh Death, you're a life saver.
380
00:16:39,700 --> 00:16:40,872
Thank you, Death.
381
00:16:40,897 --> 00:16:43,614
May I ask, what's
taken so long with Larry King?
382
00:16:43,687 --> 00:16:45,400
I am not...
383
00:16:45,943 --> 00:16:46,676
Death.
384
00:16:46,701 --> 00:16:47,611
Mom?!
385
00:16:47,636 --> 00:16:48,836
Grandma
386
00:16:48,861 --> 00:16:50,649
Mona you're alive?
387
00:16:50,650 --> 00:16:53,642
No. But I live on
in Homer's dreams.
388
00:16:53,642 --> 00:16:55,937
Just like my hair.
389
00:16:55,984 --> 00:16:58,483
It's Jennifer Aniston's hair
on Friends.
390
00:16:58,508 --> 00:17:01,891
Exactly like Chandler,
always criticizing.
391
00:17:02,661 --> 00:17:04,553
Now, I have something
to show you.
392
00:17:04,578 --> 00:17:07,768
Something that just
might help Homer wake up dry.
393
00:17:09,756 --> 00:17:11,256
Hmm.
Wow.
394
00:17:13,271 --> 00:17:14,471
Roomy.
395
00:17:17,977 --> 00:17:19,660
While you boys are out
playing in the boat
396
00:17:19,685 --> 00:17:21,904
I'll go to the store
and pick us up some dinner.
397
00:17:21,929 --> 00:17:24,134
No need. With two Simpson
men in the boat
398
00:17:24,159 --> 00:17:27,046
will bring you back
a pile of fish.
399
00:17:27,071 --> 00:17:29,104
I'm in charge of the tackle box
400
00:17:32,809 --> 00:17:34,803
Ha-ha. And we're off
401
00:17:34,828 --> 00:17:36,028
Bye.
402
00:17:36,816 --> 00:17:39,787
(laughing) Man Homer, you've
always been a loser.
403
00:17:40,280 --> 00:17:42,878
Why you little...
there's nothing in this dream
404
00:17:42,903 --> 00:17:44,922
world that can't strangle you.
405
00:17:46,503 --> 00:17:50,221
Um, I hear you and mommy
yelling again last night.
406
00:17:50,246 --> 00:17:52,283
Oh, no, no.
407
00:17:52,308 --> 00:17:54,408
It was just a TV show.
408
00:17:54,443 --> 00:17:57,545
Mitch Miller was yelling
at one of his idiot singers.
409
00:17:57,613 --> 00:18:00,181
You just concentrate
on catching the fish
410
00:18:00,248 --> 00:18:03,351
and not whether there'll be
someone there to cook it.
411
00:18:03,418 --> 00:18:04,652
I got a bite!
412
00:18:04,720 --> 00:18:06,420
We got a fish!
We got a fish!
413
00:18:06,471 --> 00:18:08,272
All right,
settle down there, boy.
414
00:18:08,357 --> 00:18:10,091
After we eat it,
can we let it go?
415
00:18:10,158 --> 00:18:11,459
Can we catch a submarine?
416
00:18:11,526 --> 00:18:12,426
(both scream)
417
00:18:15,514 --> 00:18:17,682
MONA: You got home hours late
with no fish.
418
00:18:17,749 --> 00:18:19,283
It was only a few weeks later
419
00:18:19,351 --> 00:18:21,035
that I left your father
for good.
420
00:18:21,103 --> 00:18:24,121
You left him because
I tipped the boat over
421
00:18:24,189 --> 00:18:25,856
and ruined the vacation?
422
00:18:25,924 --> 00:18:26,958
Pathetic.
423
00:18:26,958 --> 00:18:28,908
A kid who can't keep
his parents' marriage together
424
00:18:28,944 --> 00:18:30,277
is no kid at all.
425
00:18:30,345 --> 00:18:31,429
It's true!
426
00:18:31,496 --> 00:18:33,964
I failed the basic duty
of childhood.
427
00:18:34,032 --> 00:18:35,266
(gasps)
428
00:18:35,334 --> 00:18:36,901
And then when
I took Bart fishing,
429
00:18:36,968 --> 00:18:40,037
it all came back, and the guilt
made me wet the bed.
430
00:18:40,105 --> 00:18:41,956
Case closed.
431
00:18:42,024 --> 00:18:43,090
Mm-hmm.
432
00:18:43,158 --> 00:18:45,092
Now, let's return
our dream skis.
433
00:18:45,160 --> 00:18:46,727
Case not closed.
Hmm?
434
00:18:46,795 --> 00:18:49,347
Homer, you have nothing
to feel guilty about,
435
00:18:49,414 --> 00:18:51,215
and I can show you.
436
00:18:51,283 --> 00:18:52,183
Roll the film, Cletus.
437
00:18:52,250 --> 00:18:53,617
"Roll the film, Cletus."
438
00:18:53,685 --> 00:18:54,785
"Kiss me, Cletus."
439
00:18:54,853 --> 00:18:57,388
Whatever you say, boss lady.
440
00:18:58,590 --> 00:19:00,207
Sorry, Mona.
441
00:19:00,275 --> 00:19:03,010
We had more of an adventure
than we planned on.
442
00:19:03,078 --> 00:19:04,412
It's okay, Abe.
443
00:19:04,479 --> 00:19:06,847
You brought back
the only treasure I care about.
444
00:19:08,867 --> 00:19:11,969
And when the time came that
I had to leave your father,
445
00:19:12,037 --> 00:19:13,854
I knew you were in good hands.
446
00:19:13,922 --> 00:19:15,206
I'm cured!
447
00:19:15,290 --> 00:19:17,174
I'll never wet the bed again.
448
00:19:17,259 --> 00:19:19,076
And maybe you'll stop
overeating, too.
449
00:19:19,144 --> 00:19:20,478
No can do, baby.
450
00:19:20,545 --> 00:19:22,496
(loud rumbling)
451
00:19:24,299 --> 00:19:26,200
And never forget, Homer:
452
00:19:26,268 --> 00:19:30,087
The three of us will always
be together, in your memory.
453
00:19:30,155 --> 00:19:31,939
Right next to the movie trivia.
454
00:19:32,007 --> 00:19:33,841
Stanley Kubrick
wanted Robin Williams
455
00:19:33,909 --> 00:19:35,426
to star in The Shining.
456
00:19:35,494 --> 00:19:38,829
Casablanca was originally
going to star Ronald Reagan.
457
00:19:38,897 --> 00:19:41,265
There was a Grease 2,
and I wasn't in it.
458
00:19:41,333 --> 00:19:42,333
Whoa!
Hey, watch it!
459
00:19:42,401 --> 00:19:43,651
There you go again.
Shazbot!
460
00:19:43,702 --> 00:19:47,922
And now you'd better
run along, sweetheart.
461
00:19:47,989 --> 00:19:49,457
Good-bye.
462
00:19:52,110 --> 00:19:53,744
Hmm?
463
00:19:53,812 --> 00:19:55,429
Hmm?
464
00:19:55,497 --> 00:19:57,098
Huh?
465
00:19:57,165 --> 00:19:59,033
(mumbles)
466
00:19:59,101 --> 00:20:01,001
(grunts)
467
00:20:01,069 --> 00:20:03,804
(gasping)
468
00:20:03,872 --> 00:20:05,873
Whoo-hoo! I'm dry!
469
00:20:05,941 --> 00:20:08,809
Come on, everybody,
feel Daddy's underpants!
470
00:20:08,877 --> 00:20:10,411
We'll take your word for it.
471
00:20:11,813 --> 00:20:13,180
So what do I do again?
472
00:20:13,248 --> 00:20:14,515
Spin the top.
473
00:20:14,583 --> 00:20:16,767
If it falls over,
we're in reality.
474
00:20:16,835 --> 00:20:19,370
If it spins forever,
we're still in a dream.
475
00:20:19,438 --> 00:20:20,304
All right.
476
00:20:22,707 --> 00:20:24,241
Look at it go!
477
00:20:24,309 --> 00:20:25,743
All right!
478
00:20:25,811 --> 00:20:27,144
Hey, since it's a dream,
479
00:20:27,212 --> 00:20:29,447
let's ride our bikes naked
around town.
480
00:20:29,687 --> 00:20:31,455
Sounds like a plan.
481
00:20:31,522 --> 00:20:33,073
(both laughing)
482
00:20:37,273 --> 00:20:39,261
MARGE:
Is that hail coming down?
483
00:20:39,297 --> 00:20:40,430
HOMER:
It's just dream hail.
484
00:20:40,470 --> 00:20:41,824
Ow! Ooh! Ow!
485
00:20:41,824 --> 00:20:43,746
Dream hail!
(screaming)
486
00:20:43,793 --> 00:20:45,129
Hey, there's a dream truck.
487
00:20:45,129 --> 00:20:46,796
(thud) Ow!
488
00:20:47,291 --> 00:20:50,491
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther
489
00:20:50,512 --> 00:20:55,243
♪ When you were little,
you dreamed you were big ♪
490
00:20:55,343 --> 00:21:00,214
♪ You must have been something,
a real tiny kid ♪
491
00:21:00,281 --> 00:21:04,918
♪ When you were big
and needed advice ♪
492
00:21:04,986 --> 00:21:07,421
♪ You reached for your mom ♪
493
00:21:07,489 --> 00:21:11,720
♪ You dreamed me alive ♪
494
00:21:13,140 --> 00:21:18,330
♪ And your dream had a name ♪
495
00:21:18,355 --> 00:21:24,052
♪ And the name told your story ♪
496
00:21:24,077 --> 00:21:28,596
♪ It's called, growing up ♪
497
00:21:28,621 --> 00:21:33,751
♪ You're the dream operator ♪