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Sync & corrections by Rafael
UPD www.addic7ed.com/
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mmm.
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Ugh.
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Hot 'n' brown's coffee
really wakes me up
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00:00:11,124 --> 00:00:12,758
to the fact
that its coffee sucks.
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I miss having a coffee shop.
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Now where am I going
to get my cappuccinos
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00:00:16,046 --> 00:00:17,880
and Sarah McLachlan CDs?
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It wasn't that great.
If I had this space,
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I would have served fresh fruit
and sandwiches,
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and I would've got rid
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of that take-a-penny,
leave-a-penny nonsense.
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If the good lord wanted you
to have a penny,
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- you'd have one.
- Pierce...
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Why do you look
like a wealthy murderer?
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I look like an entrepreneur.
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Now that my dad's gone, I'm
expanding Hawthorne industries
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by investing in new products.
[Briefcase locks clack]
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- Like... these.
- What's that?
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It's an automatic
security camera
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that can tell your friends
from intruders.
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How does it work?
[Beep]
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[British female voice]
Your guests have arrived.
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[Beep]
Threat level four.
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[Beep]
Your guests have arrived.
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It's not calibrated.
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Wireless racism.
The future of the past is now.
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Why don't you put your money
into a good idea, like Shirley?
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Oh, I made that offer
the first day I met her.
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She almost broke my nose.
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I mean, Shirley's good
with food,
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you have capital,
and Greendale has real estate.
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What are you talking about,
Britta?
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00:01:08,648 --> 00:01:10,316
I'm talking about
the whole reason you came here...
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- To start a business.
- Hmm.
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What do you think, Shirley?
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Should I have my people
call your people?
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I mean, not your people.
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I could think about it.
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♪ Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
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is Shirley Bennett
in the house?
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the year was 1991.
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♪ Ah-ooh...
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Andre,
what are you doing here?
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Oh!
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♪ Boys ii men, going on
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♪ not too hard...
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Spring fling dance.
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See, that's where I first
laid eyes on Shirley Edwards.
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A vision in hyper color
and hammer pants.
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Baby girl, I have loved you ever
since there was a Soviet union
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- and only one Damon Wayans.
- Oh.
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Baby, I know
I've made mistakes,
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but I'm so happy
we've made it through.
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But there's one thing,
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something important,
that we keep putting off.
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Oh.
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Will you, Shirley Bennett,
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00:02:08,708 --> 00:02:11,877
marry me,
Andre Bennett, again?
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Yes, yes, again!
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[Cheers and applause]
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[Beep]
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[British female voice]
Shall I notify authorities?
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♪ Give me some rope,
time in a tree ♪
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♪ give me the hope
to run out of steam ♪
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♪ somebody said
we could be here ♪
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♪ we could be roped up,
tied up, dead in a year ♪
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♪ I can't count the reasons
I should stay ♪
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♪ one by one they all
just fade away ♪
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it's cool that Andre and Shirley
are getting married again.
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There's a whole generation of viewers
that didn't get to see the original.
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Let's hope it's more of
a bale than a Kilmer situation.
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Second weddings are okay,
I guess.
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If I had to rank 'em, uh...
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It would go
fourth, seventh, second,
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fifth, first, third, sixth.
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- No, wait... first then fifth.
- Got it...
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Fourth, seventh, second, first,
fifth, third, sixth.
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When's our culture gonna
outgrow this wedding thing?
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You're anti-wedding, now?
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No, she's just pro-anti.
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No to everything
you both said.
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Weddings are like little girls'
tea parties,
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except the women
are the stuffed animals,
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the men are making them talk,
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and they're not drinking tea,
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they're drinking
antiquated gender roles.
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Somebody tell Britta
what an analogy is.
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I know what it is.
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It's like a thought
with another thought's hat on.
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Hmm.
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Look, I can't get behind
this marriage thing, either.
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It was invented back
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when "till death"
meant "till your first cold."
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I mean, life's too long
to spend it with someone else.
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- It's a sucker's game.
- It's a mutual cop out.
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I mean, just nut up
and die alone.
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- Mmm.
- Hello.
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Oh, my God, we're so happy
for you!
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- You are glowing.
- I know, isn't it exciting?
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The rehearsal is in two days,
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and the wedding
is the day after that,
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on our anniversary.
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And I'm sure you all
can make it,
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because you're already here.
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You're having your wedding
in the study room?
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Our church has
certain policies
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regarding things
like second weddings,
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and tight jeans and...
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Calico cats.
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Um, Jeff, I was wondering
if you would do us the honor
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of giving a toast
at our wedding?
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Good idea!
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Jeff has a lot of thoughts
about marriage.
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I would be honored.
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Shirley, do you need
any help with your wedding?
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This probably sounds silly,
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but every time I see
a wedding idea I like,
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I put it in a little scrapbook.
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Oh, that's nice.
Ooh.
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We can help too.
We just saw
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the inspector spacetime
wedding episode,
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00:04:27,246 --> 00:04:28,797
so we know what pitfalls
to avoid.
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Be sure to get a DNA reading
of your prospective mate.
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Inspector spacetime ended up
marrying himself as a baby.
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I think I got this.
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Everyone just come and...
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Relax
and behave normally.
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[Scoffs repeatedly]
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That's the noise people make
when they're offended
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in all the movies
that Annie rents.
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- [Gasps]
- We'll try not to embarrass you
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at your community college
library wedding.
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- Thank you.
- Oh, Shirley,
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I managed to set up a meeting
with the Dean,
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so we can pitch him
our sandwich shop idea.
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I've already registered
a website...
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00:04:58,676 --> 00:05:03,832
It's, uh, h-t-t-p, colon,
forward slash, forward slash,
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w-w-w, period,
members, period,
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webplicity custom sites...
All one word... period,
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- c-o...
- Oh, I don't know, Pierce.
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I'm way too busy for that now
with the wedding and everything.
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Bye-bye, everybody.
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- I have to practice my walk.
- Ooh.
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Great.
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Another business venture
down the toilet.
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No problem,
I've still got plan "C."
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[Chuckles]
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Ladies and gentlemen,
the trouser bench.
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[Beep, air hissing]
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[Sighs]
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For the man on the go
who makes frequent stops.
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00:05:36,966 --> 00:05:39,218
- [Crack, fabric rips]
- [Gasps]
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Will somebody please call
all the ambulances?
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I can't believe Shirley.
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We should show up
at this wedding
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and be the most normal people
in the world.
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Yeah, I could go
as normal man
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and you could be
my trusty sidekick ordinario.
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[Guffaws] No.
That's already weird.
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00:05:51,764 --> 00:05:53,131
We'd be playing into her hand.
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We should just show up
wearing boring gray suits
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with gray ties
and gray shirts.
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We could dye our hair gray.
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And then we could lay down on
the sidewalk and be invisible.
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You know,
maybe Shirley's got a point.
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00:06:04,444 --> 00:06:06,228
I have an idea.
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00:06:06,229 --> 00:06:08,703
What if we purged all
the weirdness from our systems?
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00:06:08,704 --> 00:06:10,816
- You mean...
- A full 24-hour weird-down
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in the dreamatorium.
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Just you, me, and our
imaginations... no restraints.
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By the wedding, our temptation
to act weird will be gone.
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[Guffaws]
I'm feeling more normal already.
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- Crab walk home?
- Yeah.
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00:06:20,359 --> 00:06:21,900
[Grunts]
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00:06:23,630 --> 00:06:27,583
Shirley, my ninth-grade
english teacher used to say,
179
00:06:27,584 --> 00:06:30,002
"there will always be a reason
not to follow your dreams."
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00:06:30,003 --> 00:06:32,554
At the time, he meant
I was under the age of consent.
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00:06:32,555 --> 00:06:34,506
But his words still apply.
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00:06:34,507 --> 00:06:37,309
Are you sure your wedding
is the reason you're bailing
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00:06:37,310 --> 00:06:39,428
- on this business with Pierce?
- Uh, in the words
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00:06:39,429 --> 00:06:41,212
of my ninth-grade
english teacher,
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00:06:41,213 --> 00:06:43,265
"you are dippin' and dappin' and
don't know what's happenin'."
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00:06:43,266 --> 00:06:44,683
Fine, we both went
to public school.
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00:06:44,684 --> 00:06:46,818
It's just that
I don't want to see you slide
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00:06:46,819 --> 00:06:49,354
- into your old comfort zone.
- You don't know that.
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00:06:49,355 --> 00:06:52,324
I am gonna start a business...
Soon!
190
00:06:52,325 --> 00:06:54,693
I can't help it if I have
floral arrangements to pick
191
00:06:54,694 --> 00:06:55,894
and a DJ to hire...
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00:06:55,895 --> 00:06:57,329
Shirley,
if that really is your excuse,
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00:06:57,330 --> 00:07:00,265
I will plan
your wedding for you!
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00:07:00,266 --> 00:07:02,067
[Giggling]
195
00:07:02,068 --> 00:07:04,300
[Laughing hysterically]
196
00:07:06,172 --> 00:07:07,623
Ooh-hoo!
Thank you.
197
00:07:07,624 --> 00:07:09,207
Oh, my good God.
Thank you for that.
198
00:07:09,208 --> 00:07:12,561
I was serious.
199
00:07:15,298 --> 00:07:16,646
Britta, you're not
planning my wedding.
200
00:07:16,647 --> 00:07:18,517
- What if Annie helps?
- Oh, hey, guys.
201
00:07:18,518 --> 00:07:21,019
Did someone say "Annie",
"help," "wedding,"
202
00:07:21,020 --> 00:07:22,854
and something
about maybe hydrangeas?
203
00:07:22,855 --> 00:07:24,106
Shirley,
you can lie to yourself,
204
00:07:24,107 --> 00:07:25,524
but you can't lie to me.
205
00:07:25,525 --> 00:07:29,784
Do not use your second wedding
as an excuse to limit yourself.
206
00:07:29,785 --> 00:07:32,787
Pierce, come here.
207
00:07:32,788 --> 00:07:37,292
Shirley, do you take this man
to be your business partner?
208
00:07:37,293 --> 00:07:39,168
- Mmm, I guess.
- Sure.
209
00:07:39,169 --> 00:07:41,123
I had to shelve
the trouser bench anyway.
210
00:07:41,124 --> 00:07:42,958
There are still some parts
of the prototype
211
00:07:42,959 --> 00:07:46,678
that need to be extracted.
212
00:07:46,679 --> 00:07:49,298
Maybe you're misunderstanding?
213
00:07:49,299 --> 00:07:52,134
I mean, from my butt.
214
00:07:52,135 --> 00:07:53,618
Excuse me.
215
00:07:57,623 --> 00:07:59,430
Meet Shirley,
216
00:07:59,431 --> 00:08:02,330
she's modern, she's urban,
she's fun, and she's hungry.
217
00:08:02,331 --> 00:08:05,500
You probably notice she's black,
but not a stereotype...
218
00:08:05,501 --> 00:08:07,835
- Suburban black.
- Is she suburban or urban?
219
00:08:07,836 --> 00:08:09,253
She's half-urban.
220
00:08:09,254 --> 00:08:12,039
Let's say...
Writer's secret, bad pitch...
221
00:08:12,040 --> 00:08:15,159
Her father's a record producer,
her mother's a Shirelle.
222
00:08:15,160 --> 00:08:17,295
We're supposed to be
preparing a business pitch.
223
00:08:17,296 --> 00:08:19,997
What about revenue projections?
What are the margins gonna be?
224
00:08:19,998 --> 00:08:21,983
[Chuckles]
Shirley, Shirley, Shirley,
225
00:08:21,984 --> 00:08:24,001
Shirley, Shirley,
Shirley, Shirley.
226
00:08:24,002 --> 00:08:27,271
Sweet, innocent Shirley.
227
00:08:27,272 --> 00:08:29,857
- What was the question?
- Look,
228
00:08:29,858 --> 00:08:32,109
this was Britta's stupid idea.
229
00:08:32,110 --> 00:08:33,794
I'd rather be with my man,
planning my wedding,
230
00:08:33,795 --> 00:08:36,914
and you'd clearly rather be
with Halle Berry in 1999.
231
00:08:36,915 --> 00:08:40,034
Pleasure not doing business
with you.
232
00:08:40,035 --> 00:08:43,955
Shirley,
Hawthorne wipes fired me.
233
00:08:43,956 --> 00:08:46,007
[Sighs]
234
00:08:46,008 --> 00:08:49,910
They were just waiting for my
dad to be out of the picture.
235
00:08:49,911 --> 00:08:51,712
I'm not an entrepreneur.
236
00:08:51,713 --> 00:08:53,747
I'm just a kid
with a bunch of money, I...
237
00:08:55,884 --> 00:08:58,085
Please, please,
help me be somebody.
238
00:08:58,086 --> 00:09:01,088
Let me invest in you.
239
00:09:06,595 --> 00:09:09,030
First thing we need
to figure out is our overhead.
240
00:09:09,031 --> 00:09:10,364
Do you have a pen?
241
00:09:10,365 --> 00:09:12,400
Yeah.
242
00:09:12,401 --> 00:09:13,985
Oops.
243
00:09:13,986 --> 00:09:15,820
These pockets.
244
00:09:15,821 --> 00:09:17,438
Do you know someone
that can buy a pen?
245
00:09:17,439 --> 00:09:18,478
Yes!
246
00:09:18,479 --> 00:09:20,408
Well, have you thought
about the color story
247
00:09:20,409 --> 00:09:21,576
for your wedding?
248
00:09:21,577 --> 00:09:22,660
He means
the theme of the wedding.
249
00:09:22,661 --> 00:09:24,328
- Right, Dale?
- Mm-hmm.
250
00:09:24,329 --> 00:09:25,580
Same theme as every wedding...
251
00:09:25,581 --> 00:09:27,815
Conformity, blind participation,
and patriarchal...
252
00:09:27,816 --> 00:09:29,634
- What about pink?
- We don't call it pink.
253
00:09:29,635 --> 00:09:31,168
We don't call anything
by its name.
254
00:09:31,169 --> 00:09:32,887
That's, like,
day-one floral school stuff.
255
00:09:32,888 --> 00:09:35,006
This is citrine.
This is opalescent.
256
00:09:35,007 --> 00:09:37,558
This is sea glass, cameo,
and cerulean.
257
00:09:37,559 --> 00:09:40,127
Come on,
how difficult is this?
258
00:09:40,128 --> 00:09:42,396
[Sighs] You do one of these,
one of these,
259
00:09:42,397 --> 00:09:44,599
one of these, this one,
260
00:09:44,600 --> 00:09:47,801
this one and, like,
stick a ribbon on it. Happy?
261
00:09:50,572 --> 00:09:52,473
Britta, that's a really
beautiful arrangement.
262
00:09:52,474 --> 00:09:54,325
Color me lavender.
263
00:09:54,326 --> 00:09:55,943
"Lavender" means "impressed."
264
00:09:55,944 --> 00:09:59,330
Yeah, well, great...
Flowers look good in a pot.
265
00:09:59,331 --> 00:10:01,082
There are people dying
in Uganda.
266
00:10:01,083 --> 00:10:02,667
[Click]
267
00:10:02,668 --> 00:10:04,619
Got it.
268
00:10:04,620 --> 00:10:06,454
What! [Ericahum,
glass shatters, cow moos]
269
00:10:06,455 --> 00:10:07,788
Ugh!
[Clucking]
270
00:10:07,789 --> 00:10:09,857
- Ahh, ahh, ahh.
- Don't eat my skin!
271
00:10:09,858 --> 00:10:12,627
I am shaving everything!
[Silence]
272
00:10:12,628 --> 00:10:15,346
- Well, that should do it.
- Yeah.
273
00:10:15,347 --> 00:10:17,164
My God, isn't tonight
Shirley's wedding rehearsal?
274
00:10:17,165 --> 00:10:18,299
Look at how we're dressed.
275
00:10:18,300 --> 00:10:19,567
Yes, this simply won't do.
276
00:10:19,568 --> 00:10:20,768
Let's change
into something appropriate
277
00:10:20,769 --> 00:10:22,019
for the occasion
and be on our way.
278
00:10:22,020 --> 00:10:23,137
I agree.
279
00:10:23,138 --> 00:10:27,007
Both:
Troy and Abed being normal.
280
00:10:27,008 --> 00:10:30,311
[Annie humming]
281
00:10:30,312 --> 00:10:31,779
Annie!
282
00:10:31,780 --> 00:10:34,298
- I need your help.
- [Squealing laugh]
283
00:10:34,299 --> 00:10:37,318
Um, you're, like,
sentimental and stuff.
284
00:10:37,319 --> 00:10:38,653
Oh!
285
00:10:38,654 --> 00:10:40,171
I'm really having trouble
coming up with a toast.
286
00:10:40,172 --> 00:10:41,956
I find that hard
to believe, Jeff.
287
00:10:41,957 --> 00:10:43,174
You once convinced Troy
288
00:10:43,175 --> 00:10:44,675
that turtlenecks
were made of turtles' necks.
289
00:10:44,676 --> 00:10:47,662
It's true, my superpower is
that I can assume any position
290
00:10:47,663 --> 00:10:49,747
that suits my purpose.
In that example...
291
00:10:49,748 --> 00:10:51,999
Keeping turtlenecks as an option
for myself, down the road.
292
00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:54,085
But I do have a kryptonite.
293
00:10:54,086 --> 00:10:56,387
It's so obvious to me
that marriage is dumb,
294
00:10:56,388 --> 00:10:57,922
I can't even pretend
to get behind it.
295
00:10:57,923 --> 00:10:59,640
You know what I think
would make the perfect toast?
296
00:10:59,641 --> 00:11:02,710
You, as Shirley's friend
and a good guy,
297
00:11:02,711 --> 00:11:04,512
just saying what's really
in your heart.
298
00:11:04,513 --> 00:11:07,648
There's something real
in there.
299
00:11:07,649 --> 00:11:11,385
Maybe that's what scares you.
300
00:11:14,906 --> 00:11:17,908
[Clicking]
301
00:11:21,778 --> 00:11:23,664
I could use a drink.
302
00:11:23,665 --> 00:11:25,899
Shirley's sandwiches
can offer students
303
00:11:25,900 --> 00:11:27,735
more food for less money,
and provide the campus
304
00:11:27,736 --> 00:11:29,337
with a higher percentage
of the profits.
305
00:11:29,338 --> 00:11:30,371
Pierce, put up the next slide.
306
00:11:30,372 --> 00:11:32,306
That's me!
307
00:11:32,307 --> 00:11:35,042
Where'd I get all that money
I'm holding?
308
00:11:35,043 --> 00:11:36,460
I'm gonna tell you
the three reasons
309
00:11:36,461 --> 00:11:38,429
that Shirley's sandwiches
and your cafeteria are going
310
00:11:38,430 --> 00:11:39,630
to be successful.
311
00:11:39,631 --> 00:11:41,432
Well, then
I'm writing this down, hmm?
312
00:11:41,433 --> 00:11:43,417
Wait.
313
00:11:43,418 --> 00:11:45,186
Here's a pen.
314
00:11:45,187 --> 00:11:47,438
Thank you.
315
00:11:47,439 --> 00:11:50,725
[A cappella version
of amazing grace]
316
00:11:50,726 --> 00:11:55,312
♪ ooh ooh ooh ooh
317
00:11:55,313 --> 00:11:57,198
- ♪ ooh ooh ooh ooh...
- Holy crap!
318
00:11:57,199 --> 00:11:58,532
Britta, you're really good
at this.
319
00:11:58,533 --> 00:12:01,068
- I know.
- What's wrong with you?
320
00:12:01,069 --> 00:12:03,354
This may shock you, Annie,
but I come from a long line
321
00:12:03,355 --> 00:12:06,073
- of wives and mothers.
- Many do.
322
00:12:06,074 --> 00:12:07,958
But I ran away from it
my whole life.
323
00:12:07,959 --> 00:12:10,378
I refused to give Santa
a christmas list,
324
00:12:10,379 --> 00:12:12,613
because I didn't want to depend
on any man for anything.
325
00:12:12,614 --> 00:12:13,881
And now, look at me!
326
00:12:13,882 --> 00:12:16,167
I'm Betty Crocker.
I'm Martha Stewart.
327
00:12:16,168 --> 00:12:18,202
I'm one of
the Steppenwolf wives.
328
00:12:18,203 --> 00:12:21,005
Ohh, God.
329
00:12:21,006 --> 00:12:22,890
I'm gonna make some man
very happy someday.
330
00:12:22,891 --> 00:12:25,226
Ooh. Easy.
Slow down.
331
00:12:25,227 --> 00:12:26,577
What's with you guys?
332
00:12:26,578 --> 00:12:27,745
We de-whimsified ourselves.
333
00:12:27,746 --> 00:12:29,096
Yep. We're normal now.
334
00:12:29,097 --> 00:12:31,432
Oh. Good?
335
00:12:31,433 --> 00:12:32,966
Hey, anybody seen Shirley?
336
00:12:32,967 --> 00:12:34,485
What? Shirley's late to
the rehearsal for her wedding?
337
00:12:34,486 --> 00:12:35,653
Oh, my.
338
00:12:35,654 --> 00:12:37,421
Hey, man. You don't have
to be sarcastic.
339
00:12:37,422 --> 00:12:38,656
I'm not being sarcastic.
340
00:12:38,657 --> 00:12:40,140
We're heavily invested
in your situation.
341
00:12:40,141 --> 00:12:41,575
Nothing's more important to us
342
00:12:41,576 --> 00:12:43,477
than your second wedding's
rehearsal going smoothly.
343
00:12:43,478 --> 00:12:47,481
Walk away, man.
344
00:12:50,836 --> 00:12:53,087
Hey!
Did you think of a toast?
345
00:12:53,088 --> 00:12:54,171
Well, yeah.
346
00:12:54,172 --> 00:12:55,873
Uh, I had a drink,
347
00:12:55,874 --> 00:12:58,008
and I looked in my heart,
348
00:12:58,009 --> 00:13:01,995
and here's what I got
so far...
349
00:13:01,996 --> 00:13:03,798
"Webster's dictionary defines..."
350
00:13:03,799 --> 00:13:05,282
Gah! Stop!
351
00:13:05,283 --> 00:13:07,101
"Webster's dictionary defines"?
352
00:13:07,102 --> 00:13:09,336
That's the Jim Belushi
of speech openings...
353
00:13:09,337 --> 00:13:11,138
It accomplishes nothing,
but everyone keeps using it
354
00:13:11,139 --> 00:13:13,307
- and nobody understands why.
- Yeah, well, it's all I got.
355
00:13:13,308 --> 00:13:15,810
That took me eight hours
and six macallan neatses.
356
00:13:15,811 --> 00:13:18,145
Look, I'm sorry, I just
don't believe in marriage.
357
00:13:18,146 --> 00:13:19,647
I do.
It's inevitable.
358
00:13:21,509 --> 00:13:25,136
And then I'd put a counter
across here and the ovens there.
359
00:13:25,137 --> 00:13:26,654
Okay, okay.
360
00:13:26,655 --> 00:13:30,190
And how fiscal will
the quarterly earnings be?
361
00:13:30,191 --> 00:13:31,742
Well, initially, the fiscal...
362
00:13:31,743 --> 00:13:32,860
Wait, that question makes
no sense.
363
00:13:32,861 --> 00:13:34,161
Ah! I know.
364
00:13:34,162 --> 00:13:36,547
I just want to sound
as good at business as you are.
365
00:13:36,548 --> 00:13:38,549
I probably shouldn't say this,
366
00:13:38,550 --> 00:13:40,968
but I cannot believe you learned
all this at Greendale.
367
00:13:40,969 --> 00:13:44,004
- You're very professional.
- I am, aren't I?
368
00:13:44,005 --> 00:13:47,258
I brought sodas,
so we can toast to our futures.
369
00:13:47,259 --> 00:13:49,543
Look at me now, dad.
[Guffaws]
370
00:13:49,544 --> 00:13:50,878
Dad?
Oh, my God,
371
00:13:50,879 --> 00:13:52,229
I'm supposed to be
looking like a bride
372
00:13:52,230 --> 00:13:55,316
for my wedding rehearsal
to the dad of my children.
373
00:13:55,317 --> 00:13:57,268
That was...
374
00:13:57,269 --> 00:13:59,487
And odd dot to connect.
375
00:13:59,488 --> 00:14:02,723
[Quiet rock music]
376
00:14:02,724 --> 00:14:04,241
♪
377
00:14:04,242 --> 00:14:07,111
give me another.
378
00:14:07,112 --> 00:14:08,162
Mmm.
379
00:14:11,983 --> 00:14:14,618
What's with you?
380
00:14:14,619 --> 00:14:16,420
[Whispering]
This is who I am.
381
00:14:16,421 --> 00:14:17,788
Andre, sorry I'm late.
382
00:14:17,789 --> 00:14:19,089
I have wonderful news.
383
00:14:19,090 --> 00:14:21,759
- Where were you?
- Uh, getting wonderful news.
384
00:14:21,760 --> 00:14:23,243
The Dean loved our pitch and...
385
00:14:23,244 --> 00:14:24,512
Your pitch?
386
00:14:24,513 --> 00:14:26,096
Woman, I've been waiting for you
for two hours.
387
00:14:26,097 --> 00:14:27,281
Oh, no.
Has it been that long?
388
00:14:27,282 --> 00:14:28,549
I'm so sorry.
389
00:14:28,550 --> 00:14:30,384
Don't you dare
use your sexy voice on me.
390
00:14:30,385 --> 00:14:32,720
Both: Ohh.
391
00:14:32,721 --> 00:14:34,021
It's just a rehearsal.
392
00:14:34,022 --> 00:14:35,556
Lord knows
we've done it before.
393
00:14:35,557 --> 00:14:37,741
That's not the point.
394
00:14:37,742 --> 00:14:39,276
Shirley, I thought
this wedding was supposed
395
00:14:39,277 --> 00:14:41,111
to be the start of us
getting back to normal.
396
00:14:41,112 --> 00:14:42,596
- Back to normal?
- Yes.
397
00:14:42,597 --> 00:14:44,698
I need to not be
Mr. Mom anymore.
398
00:14:44,699 --> 00:14:46,867
Okay, I got to get back
to my stereo business.
399
00:14:46,868 --> 00:14:48,619
You know my store's
been struggling.
400
00:14:48,620 --> 00:14:50,070
I'm sorry, Andre,
401
00:14:50,071 --> 00:14:52,373
but "normal" went out the door
the day you did.
402
00:14:52,374 --> 00:14:54,408
Well, if we can't get back
to the way things were,
403
00:14:54,409 --> 00:14:56,377
why the hell are we
getting remarried?
404
00:15:00,114 --> 00:15:02,716
[Retreating footfalls]
405
00:15:02,717 --> 00:15:04,685
Oy...
406
00:15:04,686 --> 00:15:06,537
These shrimp are to die for.
407
00:15:11,702 --> 00:15:13,638
Yah, yah, yah!
408
00:15:13,639 --> 00:15:15,723
Yah, yah, yah!
409
00:15:15,724 --> 00:15:16,924
Walk the plank.
410
00:15:16,925 --> 00:15:19,060
I think you've mistaken us
for pirates.
411
00:15:19,061 --> 00:15:21,045
We are
community college students.
412
00:15:21,046 --> 00:15:22,980
Both: [Sighs]
413
00:15:22,981 --> 00:15:24,949
Abed, I just had
an odd thought.
414
00:15:24,950 --> 00:15:26,484
What if once you go
from being weird to normal,
415
00:15:26,485 --> 00:15:28,219
you can never go back
to being weird again?
416
00:15:28,220 --> 00:15:29,604
That is an odd thought.
417
00:15:29,605 --> 00:15:30,888
Well, let's hope
it's the last.
418
00:15:30,889 --> 00:15:34,492
Cheers to that,
my everyday friend.
419
00:15:34,493 --> 00:15:35,743
Hello, everyone.
420
00:15:35,744 --> 00:15:39,747
Shirley asked me to say
something nice at her wedding.
421
00:15:39,748 --> 00:15:42,116
- This is the rehearsal.
- Shut up, Leonard!
422
00:15:42,117 --> 00:15:44,402
Those teenage girls you play
ping-pong with are doing it ironically.
423
00:15:44,403 --> 00:15:46,037
Well!
424
00:15:46,038 --> 00:15:47,588
I searched my heart...
425
00:15:47,589 --> 00:15:51,209
For something nice to say
at a wedding.
426
00:15:51,210 --> 00:15:53,878
And I found nothing,
so I had a drink.
427
00:15:53,879 --> 00:15:56,931
And then I looked real hard.
428
00:15:56,932 --> 00:16:00,601
And you know what I found?
429
00:16:00,602 --> 00:16:04,605
My daddy said he would stay
with my mommy forever,
430
00:16:04,606 --> 00:16:06,324
and he left!
431
00:16:06,325 --> 00:16:09,394
Marriage is a lie!
Nobody commits to this!
432
00:16:09,395 --> 00:16:10,862
Nobody stays with anybody
forever,
433
00:16:10,863 --> 00:16:12,897
so why do we keep lying?
434
00:16:12,898 --> 00:16:14,098
[Slurring] I'm gonna stay
with somebody forever.
435
00:16:14,099 --> 00:16:16,651
It's in my stupid DNA.
436
00:16:16,652 --> 00:16:20,371
I was born to be a wife and
that's all I'm ever gonna be!
437
00:16:20,372 --> 00:16:21,772
You expect anyone here
to believe that?
438
00:16:21,773 --> 00:16:24,375
I don't care if anybody
believes it, jackass!
439
00:16:24,376 --> 00:16:26,277
- It's a fact!
- Prove it, ding dong!
440
00:16:26,278 --> 00:16:27,662
There are a lot of layers
to this.
441
00:16:27,663 --> 00:16:30,098
It's almost too conceptual
to follow, but...
442
00:16:30,099 --> 00:16:31,666
I love it.
443
00:16:31,667 --> 00:16:33,701
So that's what this
was all about, Andre?
444
00:16:33,702 --> 00:16:35,219
Just about wanting me back
in the kitchen?
445
00:16:35,220 --> 00:16:37,088
I thought you loved
being a wife and a mother.
446
00:16:37,089 --> 00:16:38,289
Of course,
but can't you see
447
00:16:38,290 --> 00:16:39,340
that's not all
I'm about anymore.
448
00:16:39,341 --> 00:16:41,159
Hi, sorry,
don't want to interrupt.
449
00:16:41,160 --> 00:16:43,895
But you are cordially invited
to prevent a disaster.
450
00:16:43,896 --> 00:16:46,481
I promise to put your dreams
before mine.
451
00:16:46,482 --> 00:16:48,082
I promise to bottle up
my repulsion
452
00:16:48,083 --> 00:16:49,633
at the sight of your hair
in the drain.
453
00:16:49,634 --> 00:16:52,854
I promise to earn no more than
70% of what you would make
454
00:16:52,855 --> 00:16:54,138
at the same job.
455
00:16:54,139 --> 00:16:55,690
- What about babies?
- What about 'em?
456
00:16:55,691 --> 00:16:56,941
- How many?
- Pick a number, dick!
457
00:16:56,942 --> 00:16:58,075
Like, it's up to me!
458
00:16:58,076 --> 00:16:59,861
What in God's name
are you two doing?
459
00:16:59,862 --> 00:17:01,329
Getting married.
460
00:17:01,330 --> 00:17:02,980
What does it look like
we're doing?
461
00:17:02,981 --> 00:17:05,316
You two are damn fools.
Oh, sorry.
462
00:17:05,317 --> 00:17:07,318
- I'll allow it.
- I am a fool.
463
00:17:07,319 --> 00:17:11,372
I was a fool to think I wasn't
destined for a life of this.
464
00:17:11,373 --> 00:17:12,656
I mean, look around.
465
00:17:12,657 --> 00:17:15,593
Can you even imagine what kind
of wedding I could throw
466
00:17:15,594 --> 00:17:17,495
if I actually gave a crap?
467
00:17:17,496 --> 00:17:20,498
- No offense.
- Knock it off.
468
00:17:20,499 --> 00:17:22,717
Being good at weddings doesn't
make you good at marriage.
469
00:17:22,718 --> 00:17:23,851
Exactly.
470
00:17:23,852 --> 00:17:25,102
People can make all sorts
of promises,
471
00:17:25,103 --> 00:17:26,721
but they never stick it out.
472
00:17:26,722 --> 00:17:28,890
It's not something you
just stick out, man, all right?
473
00:17:28,891 --> 00:17:30,107
It's a risk
that you take together.
474
00:17:30,108 --> 00:17:32,009
And you don't
just promise it once.
475
00:17:32,010 --> 00:17:33,811
You got to promise it
every day.
476
00:17:33,812 --> 00:17:35,396
Yes, but the person you're
making promises to
477
00:17:35,397 --> 00:17:37,815
is going to change.
You have to accept that.
478
00:17:37,816 --> 00:17:40,818
I do.
But do you promise to be patient
479
00:17:40,819 --> 00:17:43,354
when that person's stereo
business takes a little while
480
00:17:43,355 --> 00:17:45,356
- to get off the ground.
- I do, but...
481
00:17:45,357 --> 00:17:47,308
Do you accept that ten years
is more than a little while
482
00:17:47,309 --> 00:17:48,793
and that iPods
aren't going away,
483
00:17:48,794 --> 00:17:52,830
and maybe it's time to let
somebody else take the lead?
484
00:17:52,831 --> 00:17:53,965
I do.
485
00:17:53,966 --> 00:17:56,250
You do?
486
00:17:56,251 --> 00:17:59,587
Yes, baby, I swear I do.
487
00:17:59,588 --> 00:18:01,556
Then I promise I will do
whatever it takes
488
00:18:01,557 --> 00:18:03,307
to make this work forever.
489
00:18:03,308 --> 00:18:05,343
Oh!
490
00:18:05,344 --> 00:18:07,711
Well, in that case,
let's rehearse this bad boy.
491
00:18:07,712 --> 00:18:09,013
- Mm-hmm.
- Actually,
492
00:18:09,014 --> 00:18:10,431
you pretty much just married
each other.
493
00:18:10,432 --> 00:18:12,233
If you let me pronounce you
man and wife,
494
00:18:12,234 --> 00:18:13,684
you can kiss the bride
495
00:18:13,685 --> 00:18:15,987
and you can save like, um,
70 bucks.
496
00:18:15,988 --> 00:18:17,555
- What do you say, baby?
- Mmm.
497
00:18:17,556 --> 00:18:19,340
Mm-hmm.
[Applause]
498
00:18:19,341 --> 00:18:21,526
Done and done.
Husband and wife.
499
00:18:21,527 --> 00:18:23,611
- [Giggles]
- Now how about it?
500
00:18:23,612 --> 00:18:27,698
Let's party!
[Cheering, applause]
501
00:18:27,699 --> 00:18:29,951
Both: Lame.
502
00:18:29,952 --> 00:18:33,838
[Upbeat music]
503
00:18:33,839 --> 00:18:35,573
[Clattering]
504
00:18:41,346 --> 00:18:44,048
[Monkey squeaks]
505
00:18:47,586 --> 00:18:48,586
Abed.
506
00:18:48,587 --> 00:18:49,720
Abed! Abed!
507
00:18:49,721 --> 00:18:51,556
We're weird.
We need to be weird.
508
00:18:51,557 --> 00:18:53,107
You want to see something
weird? Check out this dance.
509
00:18:53,108 --> 00:18:54,775
Uh, what did you call this?
The "Lindbergh lean"?
510
00:18:54,776 --> 00:18:56,260
What'll they think of next?
511
00:19:00,315 --> 00:19:02,650
Inspector spacetime...
512
00:19:02,651 --> 00:19:04,952
Ohh, thank the cosmic engineer
I found you.
513
00:19:04,953 --> 00:19:06,404
Troy, this is hardly the time.
514
00:19:06,405 --> 00:19:08,772
Or is it hardly
the space?
515
00:19:08,773 --> 00:19:10,074
Okay, I see
what you did there.
516
00:19:10,075 --> 00:19:11,459
But now I have to get back
to my Lindbergh lean
517
00:19:11,460 --> 00:19:13,077
with, uh... I'm sorry,
I didn't catch your name.
518
00:19:13,078 --> 00:19:15,413
Inspector...
What sort of creature
519
00:19:15,414 --> 00:19:19,283
would do a dance
called the Lindbergh lean?
520
00:19:19,284 --> 00:19:21,385
- Blorgons?
- [Whispers] Blorgons.
521
00:19:21,386 --> 00:19:23,387
My name's Danielle.
522
00:19:23,388 --> 00:19:26,624
Constable Reggie, it appears
the Blorgons have developed
523
00:19:26,625 --> 00:19:30,061
- the ability to take human form.
- Weirdos.
524
00:19:30,062 --> 00:19:31,746
[Clattering]
525
00:19:31,747 --> 00:19:35,600
Your photonic bowler hat.
526
00:19:37,152 --> 00:19:38,986
Ahh.
[Sniffs]
527
00:19:38,987 --> 00:19:40,304
Blorgon patrol.
528
00:19:40,305 --> 00:19:43,324
Shirley, I have some
good news and bad news.
529
00:19:43,325 --> 00:19:46,744
The good news is the board loved
your sandwich shop idea.
530
00:19:46,745 --> 00:19:47,978
[Both squeal and giggle]
531
00:19:47,979 --> 00:19:50,247
The bad news
is that they made a few calls
532
00:19:50,248 --> 00:19:51,916
and sold the space to subway,
the sandwich place.
533
00:19:51,917 --> 00:19:54,277
What? Pierce and I put
a lot of work into that idea.
534
00:19:54,278 --> 00:19:56,921
- How could you do this, Dean?
- I'm sorry!
535
00:19:56,922 --> 00:19:58,456
The board went over my head
on this one.
536
00:19:58,457 --> 00:20:01,175
And I don't remember being
invited to your wedding,
537
00:20:01,176 --> 00:20:04,261
so I guess we're even
on the hurting-each-other front.
538
00:20:04,262 --> 00:20:08,432
I'm a blast at weddings.
539
00:20:08,433 --> 00:20:10,217
There go all my dreams.
540
00:20:10,218 --> 00:20:12,003
This is just a setback.
541
00:20:12,004 --> 00:20:14,288
You don't have to give up
just because of subway.
542
00:20:14,289 --> 00:20:16,257
Guess I better go break
the news to Pierce.
543
00:20:16,258 --> 00:20:17,675
He's not gonna like this.
544
00:20:17,676 --> 00:20:19,193
Remember that
temper tantrum he threw
545
00:20:19,194 --> 00:20:21,562
when Adam Sandler "stole"
his idea for Jack and Jill?
546
00:20:21,563 --> 00:20:22,813
You're underestimating him.
547
00:20:22,814 --> 00:20:24,065
I think Pierce
is a lot more mature
548
00:20:24,066 --> 00:20:25,316
than we all give him
credit for.
549
00:20:25,317 --> 00:20:29,987
Look at me now, dad!
How's it taste?
550
00:20:29,988 --> 00:20:33,874
How many sandwich places
did you have?
551
00:20:33,875 --> 00:20:36,028
[Cackles]
None!
552
00:20:36,029 --> 00:20:38,071
Sync & corrections by Rafael
UPD www.addic7ed.com/