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ReSync by Kerensky
Corrections by Rafael UPD
www.addic7ed.com
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mmm.
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Ugh.
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Hot 'n' brown's coffee
really wakes me up
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to the fact
that its coffee sucks.
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I miss having a coffee shop.
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Now where am I going
to get my cappuccinos
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and Sarah McLachlan CDs?
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It wasn't that great.
If had this space,
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I would have served fresh fruit
and sandwiches,
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and I would've got rid
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of that take-a-penny,
leave-a-penny nonsense.
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If the good lord wanted you
to have a penny,
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- you'd have one.
- Pierce...
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Why do you look
like a wealthy murderer?
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I look like an entrepreneur.
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Now that my dad's gone, I'm
expanding Hawthorne industries
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by investing in new products.
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- Like... these.
- What's that?
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It's an automatic
security camera
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that can tell your friends
from intruders.
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How does it work?
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Your guests have arrived.
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Threat level four.
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Your guests have arrived.
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It's not calibrated.
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Wireless racism.
The future of the past is now.
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Why don't you put your money
into a good idea, like Shirley?
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Oh, I made that offer
the first day I met her.
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She almost broke my nose.
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I mean, Shirley's good
with food,
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you have capital,
and Greendale has real estate.
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What are you talking about,
Britta?
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I'm talking about
the whole reason you came here...
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- To start a business.
- Hmm.
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What do you think, Shirley?
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Should I have my people
call your people?
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I mean, not your people.
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I could think about it.
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♪ Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
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is Shirley Bennett
in the house?
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the year was 1991.
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♪ Ah-ooh...
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Andre,
what are you doing here?
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Oh!
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♪ Boys ii men, going on
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♪ not too hard...
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Spring fling dance.
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See, that's where I first
laid eyes on Shirley Edwards.
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A vision in hyper color
and hammer pants.
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Baby girl, I have loved you ever
since there was a Soviet union
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- and only one Damon Wayans.
- Oh.
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Baby, I know
I've made mistakes,
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but I'm so happy
we've made it through.
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But there's one thing,
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something important,
that we keep putting off.
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Oh.
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Will you, Shirley Bennett,
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marry me,
Andre Bennett, again?
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Yes, yes, again!
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Shall I notify authorities?
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♪ Give me some rope,
time in a tree ♪
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♪ give me the hope
to run out of steam ♪
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♪ somebody said
we could be here ♪
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♪ we could be roped up,
tied up, dead in a year ♪
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♪ I can't count the reasons
I should stay ♪
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♪ one by one they all
just fade away ♪
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it's cool that Andre and Shirley
are getting married again.
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There's a whole generation of viewers
that didn't get to see the original.
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Let's hope it's more of
a bale than a Kilmer situation.
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Second weddings are okay,
I guess.
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If I had to rank 'em, uh...
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It would go
fourth, seventh, second,
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fifth, first, third, sixth.
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- No, wait... first then fifth.
- Got it...
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Fourth, seventh, second, first,
fifth, third, sixth.
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When's our culture gonna
outgrow this wedding thing?
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You're anti-wedding, now?
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No, she's just pro-anti.
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No to everything
you both said.
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Weddings are like little girls'
tea parties,
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except the women
are the stuffed animals,
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the men are making them talk,
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and they're not drinking tea,
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they're drinking
antiquated gender roles.
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Somebody tell Britta
what an analogy is.
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I know what it is.
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It's like a thought
with another thought's hat on.
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Hmm.
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Look, I can't get behind
this marriage thing, either.
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It was invented back
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when "till death"
meant "till your first cold."
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I mean, life's too long
to spend it with someone else.
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- It's a sucker's game.
- It's a mutual cop out.
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I mean, just nut up
and die alone.
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- Mmm.
- Hello.
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Oh, my God, we're so happy
for you!
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- You are glowing.
- I know, isn't it exciting?
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The rehearsal is in two days,
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and the wedding
is the day after that,
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on our anniversary.
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And I'm sure you all
can make it,
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because you're already here.
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You're having your wedding
in the study room?
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Our church has
certain policies
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regarding things
like second weddings,
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and tight jeans and...
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Calico cats.
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Um, Jeff, I was wondering
if you would do us the honor
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of giving a toast
at our wedding?
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Good idea!
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Jeff has a lot of thoughts
about marriage.
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I would be honored.
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Shirley, do you need
any help with your wedding?
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This probably sounds silly,
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but every time I see
a wedding idea I like,
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I put it in a little scrapbook.
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Oh, that's nice.
Ooh.
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We can help too.
We just saw
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the inspector spacetime
wedding episode,
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so we know what pitfalls
to avoid.
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Be sure to get a DNA reading
of your prospective mate.
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Inspector spacetime ended up
marrying himself as a baby.
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I think I got this.
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Everyone just come and...
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Relax
and behave normally.
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That's the noise people make
when they're offended
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in all the movies
that Annie rents.
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We'll try not to embarrass you
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at your community college
library wedding.
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- Thank you.
- Oh, Shirley,
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I managed to set up a meeting
with the Dean,
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so we can pitch him
our sandwich shop idea.
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I've already registered
a website...
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It's, uh, h-t-t-p, colon,
forward slash, forward slash,
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w-w-w, period,
members, period,
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webplicity custom sites...
All one word... period,
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- c-o...
- Oh, I don't know, Pierce.
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I'm way too busy for that now
with the wedding and everything.
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Bye-bye, everybody.
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- I have to practice my walk.
- Ooh.
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Great.
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Another business venture
down the toilet.
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No problem,
I've still got plan "C."
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Ladies and gentlemen,
the trouser bench.
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For the man on the go
who makes frequent stops.
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Will somebody please call
all the ambulances?
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I can't believe Shirley.
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We should show up
at this wedding
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and be the most normal people
in the world.
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Yeah, I could go
as normal man
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and you could be
my trusty sidekick ordinario.
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- No.
- That's already weird.
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We'd be playing into her hand.
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We should just show up
wearing boring gray suits
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with gray ties
and gray shirts.
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We could dye our hair gray.
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And then we could lay down on
the sidewalk and be invisible.
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You know,
maybe Shirley's got a point.
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I have an idea.
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What if we purged all
the weirdness from our systems?
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- You mean...
- A full 24-hour weird-down
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in the dreamatorium.
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Just you, me, and our
imaginations... no restraints.
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By the wedding, our temptation
to act weird will be gone.
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I'm feeling more normal already.
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- Crab walk home?
- Yeah.
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Shirley, my ninth-grade
english teacher used to say,
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"there will always be a reason
not to follow your dreams."
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At the time, he meant
I was under the age of consent.
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But his words still apply.
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Are you sure your wedding
is the reason you're bailing
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- on this business with Pierce?
- Uh, in the words
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of my ninth-grade
english teacher,
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"you are dippin' and dappin' and
don't know what's happenin'."
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Fine, we both went
to public school.
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It's just that
I don't want to see you slide
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- into your old comfort zone.
- You don't know that.
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I am gonna start a business...
Soon!
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I can't help it if I have
floral arrangements to pick
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and a DJ to hire...
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Shirley,
if that really is your excuse,
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I will plan
your wedding for you!
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Ooh-hoo!
Thank you.
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Oh, my good God.
Thank you for that.
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I was serious.
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00:07:15,298 --> 00:07:16,646
Britta, you're not
planning my wedding.
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- What if Annie helps?
- Oh, hey, guys.
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00:07:18,518 --> 00:07:21,019
Did someone say "Annie",
"help," "wedding,"
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and something
about maybe hydrangeas?
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00:07:22,855 --> 00:07:24,106
Shirley,
you can lie to yourself,
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but you can't lie to me.
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Do not use your second wedding
as an excuse to limit yourself.
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00:07:29,785 --> 00:07:32,787
Pierce, come here.
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00:07:32,788 --> 00:07:37,292
Shirley, do you take this man
to be your business partner?
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00:07:37,293 --> 00:07:39,168
- Mmm, I guess.
- Sure.
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00:07:39,169 --> 00:07:41,123
I had to shelve
the trouser bench anyway.
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There are still some parts
of the prototype
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00:07:42,959 --> 00:07:46,678
that need to be extracted.
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00:07:46,679 --> 00:07:49,298
Maybe you're misunderstanding?
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00:07:49,299 --> 00:07:52,134
I mean, from my butt.
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00:07:52,135 --> 00:07:53,618
Excuse me.
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00:07:55,296 --> 00:07:57,103
Meet Shirley,
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00:07:57,104 --> 00:08:00,003
she's modern, she's urban,
she's fun, and she's hungry.
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00:08:00,004 --> 00:08:03,173
You probably notice she's black,
but not a stereotype...
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00:08:03,174 --> 00:08:05,508
- Suburban black.
- Is she suburban or urban?
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00:08:05,509 --> 00:08:06,926
She's half-urban.
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00:08:06,927 --> 00:08:09,712
Let's say...
Writer's secret, bad pitch...
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00:08:09,713 --> 00:08:12,832
Her father's a record producer,
her mother's a Shirelle.
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00:08:12,833 --> 00:08:14,968
We're supposed to be
preparing a business pitch.
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00:08:14,969 --> 00:08:17,670
What about revenue projections?
What are the margins gonna be?
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00:08:17,671 --> 00:08:19,656
Shirley, Shirley, Shirley,
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00:08:19,657 --> 00:08:21,674
Shirley, Shirley,
Shirley, Shirley.
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00:08:21,675 --> 00:08:24,944
Sweet, innocent Shirley.
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00:08:24,945 --> 00:08:27,530
- What was the question?
- Look,
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00:08:27,531 --> 00:08:29,782
this was Britta's stupid idea.
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00:08:29,783 --> 00:08:31,467
I'd rather be with my man,
planning my wedding,
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00:08:31,468 --> 00:08:34,587
and you'd clearly rather be
with Halle Berry in 1999.
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00:08:34,588 --> 00:08:37,707
Pleasure not doing business
with you.
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00:08:37,708 --> 00:08:41,628
Shirley,
Hawthorne wipes fired me.
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00:08:43,681 --> 00:08:47,583
They were just waiting for my
dad to be out of the picture.
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00:08:47,584 --> 00:08:49,385
I'm not an entrepreneur.
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00:08:49,386 --> 00:08:51,420
I'm just a kid
with a bunch of money, I...
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00:08:53,557 --> 00:08:55,758
Please, please,
help me be somebody.
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00:08:55,759 --> 00:08:58,761
Let me invest in you.
228
00:09:04,268 --> 00:09:06,703
First thing we need
to figure out is our overhead.
229
00:09:06,704 --> 00:09:08,037
Do you have a pen?
230
00:09:08,038 --> 00:09:10,073
Yeah.
231
00:09:10,074 --> 00:09:11,658
Oops.
232
00:09:11,659 --> 00:09:13,493
These pockets.
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00:09:13,494 --> 00:09:15,111
Do you know someone
that can buy a pen?
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00:09:15,112 --> 00:09:16,151
Yes!
235
00:09:16,152 --> 00:09:18,081
Well, have you thought
about the color story
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00:09:18,082 --> 00:09:19,249
for your wedding?
237
00:09:19,250 --> 00:09:20,333
He means
the theme of the wedding.
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00:09:20,334 --> 00:09:22,001
- Right, Dale?
- Mm-hmm.
239
00:09:22,002 --> 00:09:23,253
Same theme as every wedding...
240
00:09:23,254 --> 00:09:25,488
Conformity, blind participation,
and patriarchal...
241
00:09:25,489 --> 00:09:27,307
- What about pink?
- We don't call it pink.
242
00:09:27,308 --> 00:09:28,841
We don't call anything
by its name.
243
00:09:28,842 --> 00:09:30,560
That's, like,
day-one floral school stuff.
244
00:09:30,561 --> 00:09:32,679
This is citrine.
This is opalescent.
245
00:09:32,680 --> 00:09:35,231
This is sea glass, cameo,
and cerulean.
246
00:09:35,232 --> 00:09:37,800
Come on,
how difficult is this?
247
00:09:37,801 --> 00:09:40,069
You do one of these,
one of these,
248
00:09:40,070 --> 00:09:42,272
one of these, this one,
249
00:09:42,273 --> 00:09:45,474
this one and, like,
stick a ribbon on it. Happy?
250
00:09:48,245 --> 00:09:50,146
Britta, that's a really
beautiful arrangement.
251
00:09:50,147 --> 00:09:51,998
Color me lavender.
252
00:09:51,999 --> 00:09:53,616
"Lavender" means "impressed."
253
00:09:53,617 --> 00:09:57,003
Yeah, well, great...
Flowers look good in a pot.
254
00:09:57,004 --> 00:09:58,755
There are people dying
in Uganda.
255
00:10:00,341 --> 00:10:02,292
Got it.
256
00:10:02,293 --> 00:10:04,127
What!
257
00:10:04,128 --> 00:10:05,461
Ugh!
258
00:10:05,462 --> 00:10:07,530
- Ahh, ahh, ahh.
- Don't eat my skin!
259
00:10:07,531 --> 00:10:10,300
I am shaving everything!
260
00:10:10,301 --> 00:10:13,019
- Well, that should do it.
- Yeah.
261
00:10:13,020 --> 00:10:14,837
My God, isn't tonight
Shirley's wedding rehearsal?
262
00:10:14,838 --> 00:10:15,972
Look at how we're dressed.
263
00:10:15,973 --> 00:10:17,240
Yes, this simply won't do.
264
00:10:17,241 --> 00:10:18,441
Let's change
into something appropriate
265
00:10:18,442 --> 00:10:19,692
for the occasion
and be on our way.
266
00:10:19,693 --> 00:10:20,810
I agree.
267
00:10:20,811 --> 00:10:24,680
Troy and Abed being normal.
268
00:10:27,985 --> 00:10:29,452
Annie!
269
00:10:29,453 --> 00:10:31,971
I need your help.
270
00:10:31,972 --> 00:10:34,991
Um, you're, like,
sentimental and stuff.
271
00:10:34,992 --> 00:10:36,326
Oh!
272
00:10:36,327 --> 00:10:37,844
I'm really having trouble
coming up with a toast.
273
00:10:37,845 --> 00:10:39,629
I find that hard
to believe, Jeff.
274
00:10:39,630 --> 00:10:40,847
You once convinced Troy
275
00:10:40,848 --> 00:10:42,348
that turtlenecks
were made of turtles' necks.
276
00:10:42,349 --> 00:10:45,335
It's true, my superpower is
that I can assume any position
277
00:10:45,336 --> 00:10:47,420
that suits my purpose.
In that example...
278
00:10:47,421 --> 00:10:49,672
Keeping turtlenecks as an option
for myself, down the road.
279
00:10:49,673 --> 00:10:51,758
But I do have a kryptonite.
280
00:10:51,759 --> 00:10:54,060
It's so obvious to me
that marriage is dumb,
281
00:10:54,061 --> 00:10:55,595
I can't even pretend
to get behind it.
282
00:10:55,596 --> 00:10:57,313
You know what I think
would make the perfect toast?
283
00:10:57,314 --> 00:11:00,383
You, as Shirley's friend
and a good guy,
284
00:11:00,384 --> 00:11:02,185
just saying what's really
in your heart.
285
00:11:02,186 --> 00:11:05,321
There's something real
in there.
286
00:11:05,322 --> 00:11:09,058
Maybe that's what scares you.
287
00:11:19,451 --> 00:11:21,337
I could use a drink.
288
00:11:21,338 --> 00:11:23,572
Shirley's sandwiches
can offer students
289
00:11:23,573 --> 00:11:25,408
more food for less money,
and provide the campus
290
00:11:25,409 --> 00:11:27,010
with a higher percentage
of the profits.
291
00:11:27,011 --> 00:11:28,044
Pierce, put up the next slide.
292
00:11:28,045 --> 00:11:29,979
That's me!
293
00:11:29,980 --> 00:11:32,715
Where'd I get all that money
I'm holding?
294
00:11:32,716 --> 00:11:34,133
I'm gonna tell you
the three reasons
295
00:11:34,134 --> 00:11:36,102
that Shirley's sandwiches
and your cafeteria are going
296
00:11:36,103 --> 00:11:37,303
to be successful.
297
00:11:37,304 --> 00:11:39,105
Well, then
I'm writing this down, hmm?
298
00:11:39,106 --> 00:11:41,090
Wait.
299
00:11:41,091 --> 00:11:42,859
Here's a pen.
300
00:11:42,860 --> 00:11:45,111
Thank you.
301
00:11:48,399 --> 00:11:52,985
♪ ooh ooh ooh ooh
302
00:11:52,986 --> 00:11:54,871
- ♪ ooh ooh ooh ooh...
- Holy crap!
303
00:11:54,872 --> 00:11:56,205
Britta, you're really good
at this.
304
00:11:56,206 --> 00:11:58,741
- I know.
- What's wrong with you?
305
00:11:58,742 --> 00:12:01,027
This may shock you, Annie,
but I come from a long line
306
00:12:01,028 --> 00:12:03,746
- of wives and mothers.
- Many do.
307
00:12:03,747 --> 00:12:05,631
But I ran away from it
my whole life.
308
00:12:05,632 --> 00:12:08,051
I refused to give Santa
a christmas list,
309
00:12:08,052 --> 00:12:10,286
because I didn't want to depend
on any man for anything.
310
00:12:10,287 --> 00:12:11,554
And now, look at me!
311
00:12:11,555 --> 00:12:13,840
I'm Betty Crocker.
I'm Martha Stewart.
312
00:12:13,841 --> 00:12:15,875
I'm one of
the Steppenwolf wives.
313
00:12:15,876 --> 00:12:18,678
Ohh, God.
314
00:12:18,679 --> 00:12:20,563
I'm gonna make some man
very happy someday.
315
00:12:20,564 --> 00:12:22,899
Ooh. Easy.
Slow down.
316
00:12:22,900 --> 00:12:24,250
What's with you guys?
317
00:12:24,251 --> 00:12:25,418
We de-whimsified ourselves.
318
00:12:25,419 --> 00:12:26,769
Yep. We're normal now.
319
00:12:26,770 --> 00:12:29,105
Oh. Good?
320
00:12:29,106 --> 00:12:30,639
Hey, anybody seen Shirley?
321
00:12:30,640 --> 00:12:32,158
What? Shirley's late to
the rehearsal for her wedding?
322
00:12:32,159 --> 00:12:33,326
Oh, my.
323
00:12:33,327 --> 00:12:35,094
Hey, man. You don't have
to be sarcastic.
324
00:12:35,095 --> 00:12:36,329
I'm not being sarcastic.
325
00:12:36,330 --> 00:12:37,813
We're heavily invested
in your situation.
326
00:12:37,814 --> 00:12:39,248
Nothing's more important to us
327
00:12:39,249 --> 00:12:41,150
than your second wedding's
rehearsal going smoothly.
328
00:12:41,151 --> 00:12:45,154
Walk away, man.
329
00:12:48,509 --> 00:12:50,760
Hey!
Did you think of a toast?
330
00:12:50,761 --> 00:12:51,844
Well, yeah.
331
00:12:51,845 --> 00:12:53,546
Uh, I had a drink,
332
00:12:53,547 --> 00:12:55,681
and I looked in my heart,
333
00:12:55,682 --> 00:12:59,668
and here's what I got
so far...
334
00:12:59,669 --> 00:13:01,471
"Webster's dictionary defines..."
335
00:13:01,472 --> 00:13:02,955
Gah! Stop!
336
00:13:02,956 --> 00:13:04,774
"Webster's dictionary defines"?
337
00:13:04,775 --> 00:13:07,009
That's the Jim Belushi
of speech openings...
338
00:13:07,010 --> 00:13:08,811
It accomplishes nothing,
but everyone keeps using it
339
00:13:08,812 --> 00:13:10,980
- and nobody understands why.
- Yeah, well, it's all I got.
340
00:13:10,981 --> 00:13:13,483
That took me eight hours
and six macallan neatses.
341
00:13:13,484 --> 00:13:15,818
Look, I'm sorry, I just
don't believe in marriage.
342
00:13:15,819 --> 00:13:17,320
I do.
It's inevitable.
343
00:13:19,182 --> 00:13:22,809
And then I'd put a counter
across here and the ovens there.
344
00:13:22,810 --> 00:13:24,327
Okay, okay.
345
00:13:24,328 --> 00:13:27,863
And how fiscal will
the quarterly earnings be?
346
00:13:27,864 --> 00:13:29,415
Well, initially, the fiscal...
347
00:13:29,416 --> 00:13:30,533
Wait, that question makes
no sense.
348
00:13:30,534 --> 00:13:31,834
Ah! I know.
349
00:13:31,835 --> 00:13:34,220
I just want to sound
as good at business as you are.
350
00:13:34,221 --> 00:13:36,222
I probably shouldn't say this,
351
00:13:36,223 --> 00:13:38,641
but I cannot believe you learned
all this at Greendale.
352
00:13:38,642 --> 00:13:41,677
- You're very professional.
- I am, aren't I?
353
00:13:41,678 --> 00:13:44,931
I brought sodas,
so we can toast to our futures.
354
00:13:44,932 --> 00:13:47,216
Look at me now, dad.
355
00:13:47,217 --> 00:13:48,551
Dad?
Oh, my God,
356
00:13:48,552 --> 00:13:49,902
I'm supposed to be
looking like a bride
357
00:13:49,903 --> 00:13:52,989
for my wedding rehearsal
to the dad of my children.
358
00:13:52,990 --> 00:13:54,941
That was...
359
00:13:54,942 --> 00:13:57,160
And odd dot to connect.
360
00:14:01,915 --> 00:14:04,784
Give me another.
361
00:14:04,785 --> 00:14:05,835
Mmm.
362
00:14:09,656 --> 00:14:12,291
What's with you?
363
00:14:12,292 --> 00:14:14,093
This is who I am.
364
00:14:14,094 --> 00:14:15,461
Andre, sorry I'm late.
365
00:14:15,462 --> 00:14:16,762
I have wonderful news.
366
00:14:16,763 --> 00:14:19,432
- Where were you?
- Uh, getting wonderful news.
367
00:14:19,433 --> 00:14:20,916
The Dean loved our pitch and...
368
00:14:20,917 --> 00:14:22,185
Your pitch?
369
00:14:22,186 --> 00:14:23,769
Woman, I've been waiting for you
for two hours.
370
00:14:23,770 --> 00:14:24,954
Oh, no.
Has it been that long?
371
00:14:24,955 --> 00:14:26,222
I'm so sorry.
372
00:14:26,223 --> 00:14:28,057
Don't you dare
use your sexy voice on me.
373
00:14:28,058 --> 00:14:30,393
Ohh.
374
00:14:30,394 --> 00:14:31,694
It's just a rehearsal.
375
00:14:31,695 --> 00:14:33,229
Lord knows
we've done it before.
376
00:14:33,230 --> 00:14:35,414
That's not the point.
377
00:14:35,415 --> 00:14:36,949
Shirley, I thought
this wedding was supposed
378
00:14:36,950 --> 00:14:38,784
to be the start of us
getting back to normal.
379
00:14:38,785 --> 00:14:40,269
- Back to normal?
- Yes.
380
00:14:40,270 --> 00:14:42,371
I need to not be
Mr. Mom anymore.
381
00:14:42,372 --> 00:14:44,540
Okay, I got to get back
to my stereo business.
382
00:14:44,541 --> 00:14:46,292
You know my store's
been struggling.
383
00:14:46,293 --> 00:14:47,743
I'm sorry, Andre,
384
00:14:47,744 --> 00:14:50,046
but "normal" went out the door
the day you did.
385
00:14:50,047 --> 00:14:52,081
Well, if we can't get back
to the way things were,
386
00:14:52,082 --> 00:14:54,050
why the hell are we
getting remarried?
387
00:15:00,390 --> 00:15:02,358
Oy...
388
00:15:02,359 --> 00:15:06,208
These shrimp are to die for.
389
00:15:08,192 --> 00:15:10,128
Yah, yah, yah!
390
00:15:10,129 --> 00:15:12,213
Yah, yah, yah!
391
00:15:12,214 --> 00:15:13,414
Walk the plank.
392
00:15:13,415 --> 00:15:15,550
I think you've mistaken us
for pirates.
393
00:15:15,551 --> 00:15:17,535
We are
community college students.
394
00:15:19,471 --> 00:15:21,439
Abed, I just had
an odd thought.
395
00:15:21,440 --> 00:15:22,974
What if once you go
from being weird to normal,
396
00:15:22,975 --> 00:15:24,709
you can never go back
to being weird again?
397
00:15:24,710 --> 00:15:26,094
That is an odd thought.
398
00:15:26,095 --> 00:15:27,378
Well, let's hope
it's the last.
399
00:15:27,379 --> 00:15:30,982
Cheers to that,
my everyday friend.
400
00:15:30,983 --> 00:15:32,233
Hello, everyone.
401
00:15:32,234 --> 00:15:36,237
Shirley asked me to say
something nice at her wedding.
402
00:15:36,238 --> 00:15:38,606
- This is the rehearsal.
- Shut up, Leonard!
403
00:15:38,607 --> 00:15:40,892
Those teenage girls you play
ping-pong with are doing it ironically.
404
00:15:40,893 --> 00:15:42,527
Well!
405
00:15:42,528 --> 00:15:44,078
I searched my heart...
406
00:15:44,079 --> 00:15:47,699
For something nice to say
at a wedding.
407
00:15:47,700 --> 00:15:50,368
And I found nothing,
so I had a drink.
408
00:15:50,369 --> 00:15:53,421
And then I looked real hard.
409
00:15:53,422 --> 00:15:57,091
And you know what I found?
410
00:15:57,092 --> 00:16:01,095
My daddy said he would stay
with my mommy forever,
411
00:16:01,096 --> 00:16:02,814
and he left!
412
00:16:02,815 --> 00:16:05,884
Marriage is a lie!
Nobody commits to this!
413
00:16:05,885 --> 00:16:07,352
Nobody stays with anybody
forever,
414
00:16:07,353 --> 00:16:09,387
so why do we keep lying?
415
00:16:09,388 --> 00:16:10,588
I'm gonna stay
with somebody forever.
416
00:16:10,589 --> 00:16:13,141
It's in my stupid DNA.
417
00:16:13,142 --> 00:16:16,861
I was born to be a wife and
that's all I'm ever gonna be!
418
00:16:16,862 --> 00:16:18,262
You expect anyone here
to believe that?
419
00:16:18,263 --> 00:16:20,865
I don't care if anybody
believes it, jackass!
420
00:16:20,866 --> 00:16:22,767
- It's a fact!
- Prove it, ding dong!
421
00:16:22,768 --> 00:16:24,152
There are a lot of layers
to this.
422
00:16:24,153 --> 00:16:26,588
It's almost too conceptual
to follow, but...
423
00:16:26,589 --> 00:16:28,156
I love it.
424
00:16:28,157 --> 00:16:30,191
So that's what this
was all about, Andre?
425
00:16:30,192 --> 00:16:31,709
Just about wanting me back
in the kitchen?
426
00:16:31,710 --> 00:16:33,578
I thought you loved
being a wife and a mother.
427
00:16:33,579 --> 00:16:34,779
Of course,
but can't you see
428
00:16:34,780 --> 00:16:35,830
that's not all
I'm about anymore.
429
00:16:35,831 --> 00:16:37,649
Hi, sorry,
don't want to interrupt.
430
00:16:37,650 --> 00:16:40,385
But you are cordially invited
to prevent a disaster.
431
00:16:40,386 --> 00:16:42,971
I promise to put your dreams
before mine.
432
00:16:42,972 --> 00:16:44,572
I promise to bottle up
my repulsion
433
00:16:44,573 --> 00:16:46,123
at the sight of your hair
in the drain.
434
00:16:46,124 --> 00:16:49,344
I promise to earn no more than
70% of what you would make
435
00:16:49,345 --> 00:16:50,628
at the same job.
436
00:16:50,629 --> 00:16:52,180
- What about babies?
- What about 'em?
437
00:16:52,181 --> 00:16:53,431
- How many?
- Pick a number, dick!
438
00:16:53,432 --> 00:16:54,565
Like, it's up to me!
439
00:16:54,566 --> 00:16:56,351
What in God's name
are you two doing?
440
00:16:56,352 --> 00:16:57,819
Getting married.
441
00:16:57,820 --> 00:16:59,470
What does it look like
we're doing?
442
00:16:59,471 --> 00:17:01,806
You two are damn fools.
Oh, sorry.
443
00:17:01,807 --> 00:17:03,808
- I'll allow it.
- I am a fool.
444
00:17:03,809 --> 00:17:07,862
I was a fool to think I wasn't
destined for a life of this.
445
00:17:07,863 --> 00:17:09,146
I mean, look around.
446
00:17:09,147 --> 00:17:12,083
Can you even imagine what kind
of wedding I could throw
447
00:17:12,084 --> 00:17:13,985
if I actually gave a crap?
448
00:17:13,986 --> 00:17:16,988
- No offense.
- Knock it off.
449
00:17:16,989 --> 00:17:19,207
Being good at weddings doesn't
make you good at marriage.
450
00:17:19,208 --> 00:17:20,341
Exactly.
451
00:17:20,342 --> 00:17:21,592
People can make all sorts
of promises,
452
00:17:21,593 --> 00:17:23,211
but they never stick it out.
453
00:17:23,212 --> 00:17:25,380
It's not something you
just stick out, man, all right?
454
00:17:25,381 --> 00:17:26,597
It's a risk
that you take together.
455
00:17:26,598 --> 00:17:28,499
And you don't
just promise it once.
456
00:17:28,500 --> 00:17:30,301
You got to promise it
every day.
457
00:17:30,302 --> 00:17:31,886
Yes, but the person you're
making promises to
458
00:17:31,887 --> 00:17:34,305
is going to change.
You have to accept that.
459
00:17:34,306 --> 00:17:37,308
I do.
But do you promise to be patient
460
00:17:37,309 --> 00:17:39,844
when that person's stereo
business takes a little while
461
00:17:39,845 --> 00:17:41,846
- to get off the ground.
- I do, but...
462
00:17:41,847 --> 00:17:43,798
Do you accept that ten years
is more than a little while
463
00:17:43,799 --> 00:17:45,283
and that iPods
aren't going away,
464
00:17:45,284 --> 00:17:49,320
and maybe it's time to let
somebody else take the lead?
465
00:17:49,321 --> 00:17:50,455
I do.
466
00:17:50,456 --> 00:17:52,740
You do?
467
00:17:52,741 --> 00:17:56,077
Yes, baby, I swear I do.
468
00:17:56,078 --> 00:17:58,046
Then I promise I will do
whatever it takes
469
00:17:58,047 --> 00:17:59,797
to make this work forever.
470
00:17:59,798 --> 00:18:01,833
Oh!
471
00:18:01,834 --> 00:18:04,201
Well, in that case,
let's rehearse this bad boy.
472
00:18:04,202 --> 00:18:05,503
- Mm-hmm.
- Actually,
473
00:18:05,504 --> 00:18:06,921
you pretty much just married
each other.
474
00:18:06,922 --> 00:18:08,723
If you let me pronounce you
man and wife,
475
00:18:08,724 --> 00:18:10,174
you can kiss the bride
476
00:18:10,175 --> 00:18:12,477
and you can save like, um,
70 bucks.
477
00:18:12,478 --> 00:18:14,045
- What do you say, baby?
- Mmm.
478
00:18:14,046 --> 00:18:15,830
Mm-hmm.
479
00:18:15,831 --> 00:18:18,016
Done and done.
Husband and wife.
480
00:18:18,017 --> 00:18:20,101
Now how about it?
481
00:18:20,102 --> 00:18:24,188
Let's party!
482
00:18:24,189 --> 00:18:26,441
Lame.
483
00:18:44,076 --> 00:18:45,076
Abed.
484
00:18:45,077 --> 00:18:46,210
Abed! Abed!
485
00:18:46,211 --> 00:18:48,046
We're weird.
We need to be weird.
486
00:18:48,047 --> 00:18:49,597
You want to see something
weird? Check out this dance.
487
00:18:49,598 --> 00:18:51,265
Uh, what did you call this?
The "Lindbergh lean"?
488
00:18:51,266 --> 00:18:52,750
What'll they think of next?
489
00:18:56,805 --> 00:18:59,140
Inspector spacetime...
490
00:18:59,141 --> 00:19:01,442
Ohh, thank the cosmic engineer
I found you.
491
00:19:01,443 --> 00:19:02,894
Troy, this is hardly the time.
492
00:19:02,895 --> 00:19:05,262
Or is it hardly
the space?
493
00:19:05,263 --> 00:19:06,564
Okay, I see
what you did there.
494
00:19:06,565 --> 00:19:07,949
But now I have to get back
to my Lindbergh lean
495
00:19:07,950 --> 00:19:09,567
with, uh... I'm sorry,
I didn't catch your name.
496
00:19:09,568 --> 00:19:11,903
Inspector...
What sort of creature
497
00:19:11,904 --> 00:19:15,773
would do a dance
called the Lindbergh lean?
498
00:19:15,774 --> 00:19:17,875
- Blorgons?
- Blorgons.
499
00:19:17,876 --> 00:19:19,877
My name's Danielle.
500
00:19:19,878 --> 00:19:23,114
Constable Reggie, it appears
the Blorgons have developed
501
00:19:23,115 --> 00:19:26,551
- the ability to take human form.
- Weirdos.
502
00:19:28,237 --> 00:19:32,090
Your photonic bowler hat.
503
00:19:33,642 --> 00:19:35,476
Ahh.
504
00:19:35,477 --> 00:19:36,794
Blorgon patrol.
505
00:19:36,795 --> 00:19:39,814
Shirley, I have some
good news and bad news.
506
00:19:39,815 --> 00:19:43,234
The good news is the board loved
your sandwich shop idea.
507
00:19:44,469 --> 00:19:46,737
The bad news
is that they made a few calls
508
00:19:46,738 --> 00:19:48,406
and sold the space to subway,
the sandwich place.
509
00:19:48,407 --> 00:19:50,767
What? Pierce and I put
a lot of work into that idea.
510
00:19:50,768 --> 00:19:53,411
- How could you do this, Dean?
- I'm sorry!
511
00:19:53,412 --> 00:19:54,946
The board went over my head
on this one.
512
00:19:54,947 --> 00:19:57,665
And I don't remember being
invited to your wedding,
513
00:19:57,666 --> 00:20:00,751
so I guess we're even
on the hurting-each-other front.
514
00:20:00,752 --> 00:20:04,922
I'm a blast at weddings.
515
00:20:04,923 --> 00:20:06,707
There go all my dreams.
516
00:20:06,708 --> 00:20:08,493
This is just a setback.
517
00:20:08,494 --> 00:20:10,778
You don't have to give up
just because of subway.
518
00:20:10,779 --> 00:20:12,747
Guess I better go break
the news to Pierce.
519
00:20:12,748 --> 00:20:14,165
He's not gonna like this.
520
00:20:14,166 --> 00:20:15,683
Remember that
temper tantrum he threw
521
00:20:15,684 --> 00:20:18,052
when Adam Sandler "stole"
his idea for Jack and Jill?
522
00:20:18,053 --> 00:20:19,303
You're underestimating him.
523
00:20:19,304 --> 00:20:20,555
I think Pierce
is a lot more mature
524
00:20:20,556 --> 00:20:21,806
than we all give him
credit for.
525
00:20:21,807 --> 00:20:26,477
Look at me now, dad!
How's it taste?
526
00:20:26,478 --> 00:20:30,364
How many sandwich places
did you have?
527
00:20:30,365 --> 00:20:31,808
None!
528
00:20:31,809 --> 00:20:33,851
ReSync by Kerensky
Corrections by Rafael UPD
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