1 00:00:02,811 --> 00:00:05,711 ♪ The Simpsons ♪ 2 00:00:08,214 --> 00:00:09,414 D'oh! 3 00:00:21,814 --> 00:00:25,314 ♪ The Simpsons 23x17 ♪ Them, Robot Original Air Date on March 18, 2012 4 00:00:25,339 --> 00:00:28,839 == sync, corrected by elderman == 5 00:00:49,551 --> 00:00:51,118 Power's out. 6 00:00:51,186 --> 00:00:54,321 Oh, your father must be sleeping on his side again. 7 00:00:57,759 --> 00:01:00,094 From downtown! 8 00:01:00,161 --> 00:01:01,328 And it counts! 9 00:01:04,149 --> 00:01:05,115 Think he's okay? 10 00:01:07,802 --> 00:01:09,520 Eh... 11 00:01:09,587 --> 00:01:10,988 Thank you. 12 00:01:11,055 --> 00:01:12,423 Just drink some water, you're all right. 13 00:01:12,490 --> 00:01:14,057 Oh, yeah, you don't want to go to the hospital 14 00:01:14,125 --> 00:01:15,342 at 5:00 on a Friday. 15 00:01:15,410 --> 00:01:16,443 Whoo-hoo! 16 00:01:16,511 --> 00:01:18,345 Thank God it's TGIF! 17 00:01:18,413 --> 00:01:20,063 Attention, wage worms. 18 00:01:20,131 --> 00:01:22,850 It's time for afternoon announcements. 19 00:01:30,925 --> 00:01:33,076 This Monday, the plant will be conducting 20 00:01:33,144 --> 00:01:35,379 physical examinations of all employees. 21 00:01:35,447 --> 00:01:38,048 And anyone testing positive for narcotics 22 00:01:38,116 --> 00:01:39,650 will be terminated immediately! 23 00:01:39,717 --> 00:01:41,652 Bad news, Lang-Soo. 24 00:01:41,719 --> 00:01:43,587 Some casual Friday this is. 25 00:01:43,655 --> 00:01:45,705 You're outta here, drug-o. 26 00:01:45,757 --> 00:01:46,924 And don't forget, federal law mandates 27 00:01:46,991 --> 00:01:49,276 that we consider alcohol a drug. 28 00:01:50,645 --> 00:01:52,362 D'oh...! 29 00:01:59,103 --> 00:02:01,738 I told them to make these track d'oh-proof! 30 00:02:19,007 --> 00:02:21,642 Homie! You're home early! 31 00:02:21,709 --> 00:02:23,927 Well, I didn't feel like going to Moe's today. 32 00:02:23,995 --> 00:02:26,830 Thought I might hang out here for as long as I could take it. 33 00:02:26,898 --> 00:02:28,499 Company physical coming up, huh? 34 00:02:28,566 --> 00:02:31,251 Yeah, but a weekend without drinking is no big deal. 35 00:02:31,319 --> 00:02:33,887 I did it when I was in that alcohol-induced coma. 36 00:02:36,441 --> 00:02:38,358 So, what's on the agenda? 37 00:02:38,426 --> 00:02:39,477 Well, we're having brunch with my sisters. 38 00:02:40,240 --> 00:02:41,647 You're hosting my Preteen Braves meeting. 39 00:02:42,520 --> 00:02:43,720 And we're gonna make dreamcatchers 40 00:02:43,788 --> 00:02:45,755 out of litter we pick up. 41 00:02:45,823 --> 00:02:47,590 you promised to help me write a iku. 44 00:02:51,495 --> 00:02:52,962 What was I thinking? 45 00:02:54,965 --> 00:02:57,000 Thank you! Huh?! 46 00:02:57,068 --> 00:02:58,651 And you and I were going to study 47 00:02:58,719 --> 00:03:00,070 the municipal voter's guide. 48 00:03:00,137 --> 00:03:01,538 What the...? 49 00:03:01,605 --> 00:03:04,240 Section 1 of Article 21 of the State Constitution 50 00:03:04,291 --> 00:03:06,159 is amended to read: Section 1. 51 00:03:06,227 --> 00:03:08,795 In the year following the year in which the national census 52 00:03:08,863 --> 00:03:10,580 is taken under the direction of Congress 53 00:03:10,648 --> 00:03:13,616 at the beginning of each decade, the Legislature shall adjust 54 00:03:13,684 --> 00:03:15,618 the boundary lines of Congressional, State Senate 55 00:03:15,686 --> 00:03:16,720 and Assembly districts-- 56 00:03:19,640 --> 00:03:21,858 Liquor, mustn't think of liquor... 57 00:03:23,444 --> 00:03:24,811 Hey, there! What's cookin'? 58 00:03:24,879 --> 00:03:27,397 Come on, boy, crack my seal 59 00:03:27,464 --> 00:03:29,132 and drink your father. 60 00:03:29,200 --> 00:03:31,267 Owwww! 61 00:03:32,737 --> 00:03:34,437 Wait a minute-- that feels good. 62 00:03:34,505 --> 00:03:35,572 Mm! 63 00:03:39,193 --> 00:03:41,878 So, a sober weekend hasn't been that hard. 64 00:03:41,946 --> 00:03:45,131 Let me just take a few antidepressants here. 65 00:03:47,568 --> 00:03:50,103 I feel sorry for people without willpower. 66 00:03:50,171 --> 00:03:52,338 I truly do. 67 00:03:52,406 --> 00:03:53,940 Homie, what are you drinking? 68 00:03:54,008 --> 00:03:58,178 A surprisingly not-horrible fruit drink called a mimosa. 69 00:03:58,245 --> 00:04:00,830 There's champagne in those! 70 00:04:00,898 --> 00:04:03,099 Then there's champagne in me! 71 00:04:03,167 --> 00:04:04,667 Oh, what am I gonna do? 72 00:04:04,735 --> 00:04:07,070 It's less than 24 hours till my drug test! 73 00:04:07,138 --> 00:04:08,371 Maybe I can sweat it out. 74 00:04:11,242 --> 00:04:14,194 Oh, man, I'd better have some coffee and iced tea. 75 00:04:14,261 --> 00:04:16,646 No! Irish and Long Island! 76 00:04:16,714 --> 00:04:17,881 What about this lemonade? 77 00:04:17,948 --> 00:04:19,365 Mike's Hard! 78 00:04:19,450 --> 00:04:21,835 Then I better soak up the alcohol with some food! 79 00:04:21,902 --> 00:04:23,136 Whoo! Cake! Rum cake! 80 00:04:23,204 --> 00:04:24,487 Crepes! Suzette! 81 00:04:24,555 --> 00:04:25,989 Cherries! 82 00:04:26,056 --> 00:04:27,690 Whoo! Jubilee! 83 00:04:38,669 --> 00:04:40,787 Wow, passed with flying colors! 84 00:04:40,855 --> 00:04:42,238 I've sure earned this! 85 00:04:51,315 --> 00:04:54,651 O, Lord, I have once again besotted 86 00:04:54,718 --> 00:04:56,553 my liver with Thy fermented gifts. 87 00:04:56,620 --> 00:04:58,922 If You can weasel me out of this physical, 88 00:04:58,989 --> 00:05:00,890 I will blow Your mind by doing something 89 00:05:00,958 --> 00:05:03,793 incredibly holy, at some point. Amen. 90 00:05:03,861 --> 00:05:05,562 Now to mumble in a religious fashion. 91 00:05:05,629 --> 00:05:08,064 Dear God, O, Lord, O, God, O, Lord... 92 00:05:08,132 --> 00:05:10,166 O, Lord, O, God, O, Lord Almighty. 93 00:05:13,070 --> 00:05:14,737 Hm... 94 00:05:14,805 --> 00:05:17,807 your cells have been overexposed to gamma radiation. 95 00:05:17,875 --> 00:05:18,775 Like the Hulk? 96 00:05:18,843 --> 00:05:20,376 Well, sort of like the Hulk. 97 00:05:20,444 --> 00:05:21,911 But instead of getting powerful, 98 00:05:21,979 --> 00:05:23,646 you're going to get very, very sick. 99 00:05:25,449 --> 00:05:27,116 Hulk smash... 100 00:05:27,184 --> 00:05:31,087 Yes, Hulk smash. 101 00:05:31,155 --> 00:05:32,589 Mr. Burns, you are liable 102 00:05:32,656 --> 00:05:35,158 for thousands of dollars per employee, 103 00:05:35,226 --> 00:05:37,660 not to mention my extensive fees which... 104 00:05:39,430 --> 00:05:41,097 This trapdoor app works like a charm. 105 00:05:41,165 --> 00:05:42,832 Excellent. 106 00:05:42,900 --> 00:05:44,200 You'll still have to pay! 107 00:05:45,936 --> 00:05:47,937 This is the last time I pay the price 108 00:05:48,005 --> 00:05:50,139 for the irritating mortality of the human worker. 109 00:05:50,207 --> 00:05:52,141 Smithers, it's time to re-staff with 110 00:05:52,209 --> 00:05:54,244 the super-intelligent kangaroos we've been breeding! 111 00:05:54,311 --> 00:05:55,411 I'm sorry, sir, 112 00:05:55,479 --> 00:05:56,613 but they just filled their pouches 113 00:05:56,680 --> 00:05:58,081 with office supplies and hopped away. 114 00:05:58,148 --> 00:05:59,682 Even the joeys? 115 00:05:59,750 --> 00:06:01,974 You know, sir, there is a more high-tech solution. 116 00:06:02,041 --> 00:06:05,377 More high-tech than kangaroos? 117 00:06:05,445 --> 00:06:06,778 Ladies and gentlemen, 118 00:06:06,846 --> 00:06:09,314 meet the future masters of the human race. 119 00:06:15,054 --> 00:06:16,772 Comicon nerds! 120 00:06:16,839 --> 00:06:18,407 You fool! These are robots! 121 00:06:18,474 --> 00:06:20,042 You will train them 122 00:06:20,109 --> 00:06:22,411 and they will replace you. 123 00:06:24,047 --> 00:06:27,115 I give you permission to shake your fists in anger twice. 124 00:06:28,952 --> 00:06:30,485 I didn't say, Monty Says. 125 00:06:30,553 --> 00:06:32,154 Now I have cause to terminate. 126 00:06:32,222 --> 00:06:33,589 This is crap. 127 00:06:33,656 --> 00:06:36,091 Now get out. You didn't say Monty Says. 128 00:06:36,159 --> 00:06:36,892 This is no game! 129 00:06:43,381 --> 00:06:44,184 Excellent. 130 00:06:44,185 --> 00:06:46,804 Sir, I'm afraid we do need to keep one human worker-- 131 00:06:46,871 --> 00:06:49,690 to sign for packages, a scapegoat for meltdowns, 132 00:06:49,741 --> 00:06:51,842 things that would be a waste of the robots' time. 133 00:06:51,910 --> 00:06:55,579 So we need one meat sock on the payroll. 134 00:06:55,647 --> 00:06:58,615 But who? Mr. Burns, before I leave, 135 00:06:58,683 --> 00:07:01,351 I got a few things to get off my chest. 136 00:07:01,419 --> 00:07:04,388 One, I liked the new microwave in the break room. 137 00:07:04,456 --> 00:07:06,723 Just push "popcorn," you don't have to know how long. 138 00:07:06,791 --> 00:07:10,677 Two, replacing us with robots is heartless and despicable. 139 00:07:10,745 --> 00:07:13,747 Three, how about a farewell party with a caricature artist? 140 00:07:13,815 --> 00:07:16,517 You know, it's something both kids and adults can enjoy. 141 00:07:16,584 --> 00:07:18,402 So, to sum up: nicely done, 142 00:07:18,470 --> 00:07:20,871 we hate you, and food for thought. 143 00:07:20,939 --> 00:07:22,840 Simpson, wait! 144 00:07:22,907 --> 00:07:25,025 As it turns out, there is one job available. 145 00:07:25,093 --> 00:07:27,461 But be forewarned, it promises naught 146 00:07:27,529 --> 00:07:29,830 but soul-crushing boredom. 147 00:07:29,898 --> 00:07:31,198 Does the chair go back like this? 148 00:07:32,500 --> 00:07:33,267 Yes. 149 00:07:33,334 --> 00:07:34,401 Whoo-hoo! 150 00:07:39,340 --> 00:07:41,408 Well, looks like we've found this plant's 151 00:07:41,476 --> 00:07:43,677 one remaining worker of bone and sinew. 152 00:07:43,745 --> 00:07:47,414 Sir, I believe there are two, including yours truly. 153 00:07:47,482 --> 00:07:50,083 It's one, excluding mine falsely! 154 00:07:50,151 --> 00:07:53,187 Well, surely no robot can replace me. 155 00:07:53,254 --> 00:07:54,087 Oh! 156 00:07:55,540 --> 00:07:56,306 Mmm! 157 00:08:01,396 --> 00:08:02,596 I can do that. 158 00:08:05,583 --> 00:08:07,684 What about this? 159 00:08:18,429 --> 00:08:20,898 Nice parking, idiot. 160 00:08:27,038 --> 00:08:29,840 So, uh, you guys are my new coworkers. 161 00:08:29,908 --> 00:08:32,075 So, workin' hard or hardly workin'? 162 00:08:34,112 --> 00:08:37,147 I said, workin' hard or hardly workin'? 163 00:08:37,215 --> 00:08:40,918 Workin' hard or hardly working?! 164 00:08:40,985 --> 00:08:45,022 Working hard or hardly working?! 165 00:08:45,089 --> 00:08:47,224 It's a simple question! 166 00:08:47,292 --> 00:08:50,093 Are you A.) Working hard 167 00:08:50,161 --> 00:08:52,696 or B.) Ow! 168 00:08:55,116 --> 00:08:57,651 I guess I just met the joker of the group. 169 00:08:57,719 --> 00:09:00,854 Better watch out for you on April Fool's, am I right? 170 00:09:00,922 --> 00:09:02,956 I said, am I right? 171 00:09:03,024 --> 00:09:05,259 Am I... 172 00:09:05,326 --> 00:09:07,861 So, you guys have any luck finding a new job? 173 00:09:07,929 --> 00:09:10,464 Does it look like I've got a job? No, I didn't. 174 00:09:10,531 --> 00:09:12,432 Homer, show a little more sensitivity 175 00:09:12,500 --> 00:09:14,334 around these jobless washouts, eh? 176 00:09:14,402 --> 00:09:16,937 Hey, I gotta tell ya, I'm miserable there. 177 00:09:17,005 --> 00:09:19,606 I'm all alone, and when there's some problem 178 00:09:19,674 --> 00:09:22,409 due to human error, guess who gets blamed? 179 00:09:22,477 --> 00:09:24,311 Hey, Homer, you know what I'm playing for ya? 180 00:09:24,379 --> 00:09:26,213 The world's smallest violin. 181 00:09:26,281 --> 00:09:28,749 And now I got to sell it, just to make my rent! 182 00:09:30,485 --> 00:09:31,885 Oh, my God! Where's the bow? 183 00:09:31,953 --> 00:09:33,420 I can't sell it without the bow! 184 00:09:33,488 --> 00:09:35,022 Easy, easy there, Lenny. 185 00:09:35,089 --> 00:09:36,790 You can always play it pizzicato. 186 00:09:36,858 --> 00:09:40,110 The buyer clearly specified violin and bow! 187 00:09:40,178 --> 00:09:42,529 Um, maybe I should be heading home. 188 00:09:42,580 --> 00:09:43,647 Oh, no! 189 00:09:43,715 --> 00:09:45,282 He stepped on the bow! 190 00:09:45,350 --> 00:09:47,351 Boy, this place has gotten so grim. 191 00:09:47,418 --> 00:09:48,852 I'm gonna do something I've never done: 192 00:09:48,920 --> 00:09:50,220 Make myself a drink. 193 00:09:53,207 --> 00:09:54,942 Ugh! You call this beer? 194 00:09:55,009 --> 00:09:56,460 It's watered-down swill! 195 00:09:56,527 --> 00:09:57,794 Oh, you got a problem? 196 00:09:57,862 --> 00:10:00,297 Well, here's the complaint department. 197 00:10:00,365 --> 00:10:03,166 You know what I think, Moe? I think you ain't got the guts! 198 00:10:03,234 --> 00:10:05,202 Ha! Missed, ya son-of-a... 199 00:10:06,804 --> 00:10:09,222 ♪ When the moon hits your eye ♪ 200 00:10:09,290 --> 00:10:11,375 ♪ like a big pizza pie ♪ 201 00:10:11,442 --> 00:10:13,276 ♪ That's amore ♪ 202 00:10:13,344 --> 00:10:16,380 ♪ When the world seems... ♪ 203 00:10:16,447 --> 00:10:18,865 When you do chair gondola all by yourself, 204 00:10:18,933 --> 00:10:20,651 it almost seems stupid. 205 00:10:26,658 --> 00:10:28,091 Ah, here it is-- 206 00:10:28,159 --> 00:10:30,961 Hydraulic systems flush... 207 00:10:31,029 --> 00:10:33,096 EEPROM bios auto boot ... 208 00:10:33,164 --> 00:10:36,266 conversation mode?! They can talk?! 209 00:10:36,334 --> 00:10:38,735 I just have to press this button, right... 210 00:10:40,455 --> 00:10:41,888 Well, at least it doesn't feel pain. 211 00:10:43,091 --> 00:10:44,291 Wait a minute... 212 00:10:44,359 --> 00:10:46,560 D'oh! 213 00:10:46,627 --> 00:10:49,246 "Override self-destruct protocol 214 00:10:49,313 --> 00:10:55,519 with authorization code 7... 2... 2... 5." 215 00:10:55,586 --> 00:10:57,587 Human interaction mode activated. 216 00:10:57,655 --> 00:10:59,156 Initiate conversation. 217 00:10:59,223 --> 00:11:01,391 Will you be my friend? 218 00:11:01,459 --> 00:11:04,294 Friendship cannot exist between man and machine. 219 00:11:04,362 --> 00:11:06,797 But I can simulate interest in your statements. 220 00:11:06,864 --> 00:11:08,899 You're not a friend... 221 00:11:08,966 --> 00:11:11,201 you're my best friend. 222 00:11:11,269 --> 00:11:14,304 Uh, just don't ask me to drive you to the airport. 223 00:11:24,496 --> 00:11:26,164 It's no fun to live in a town 224 00:11:26,231 --> 00:11:29,267 with a 99% unemployment rate. 225 00:11:29,335 --> 00:11:31,502 Things are so bad. 226 00:11:31,570 --> 00:11:34,672 Look at what happened to the man on my pizza box. 227 00:11:38,727 --> 00:11:40,695 Mr. Burns seemed like such a nice man 228 00:11:40,763 --> 00:11:43,264 the day he arrived. 229 00:11:48,354 --> 00:11:50,071 Cheap power, plentiful jobs, 230 00:11:50,122 --> 00:11:51,906 and all your swimming holes 231 00:11:51,957 --> 00:11:54,075 shall be warm and bubbling. 232 00:11:54,143 --> 00:11:56,127 Can I pet the elephant? 233 00:11:57,546 --> 00:11:58,846 Of course. 234 00:12:04,236 --> 00:12:07,138 Guess I'll just have to become beautiful on the inside. 235 00:12:07,206 --> 00:12:08,189 Which he didn't. 236 00:12:08,256 --> 00:12:09,674 I ain't paying! 237 00:12:09,742 --> 00:12:11,409 Two of my shortbreads were broken! 238 00:12:11,477 --> 00:12:12,944 Hey, check it out! 239 00:12:13,012 --> 00:12:14,812 Lenny's hit a new low! 240 00:12:16,665 --> 00:12:18,733 I don't want my window washed! 241 00:12:18,801 --> 00:12:21,402 Too late! 242 00:12:22,938 --> 00:12:24,872 I don't want my squeegee wiped! 243 00:12:24,940 --> 00:12:26,240 I got what I needed. 244 00:12:28,327 --> 00:12:29,494 That's it, boy. 245 00:12:29,578 --> 00:12:31,029 Live one more day. 246 00:12:33,799 --> 00:12:34,866 Good morning, class. 247 00:12:34,933 --> 00:12:36,918 I'm your substitute teacher... 248 00:12:36,969 --> 00:12:38,803 All right, who did that? 249 00:12:41,473 --> 00:12:43,875 Fine. We will not be reading Death in Venice today. 250 00:12:46,311 --> 00:12:47,912 Someone's in a mood. 251 00:12:49,181 --> 00:12:51,132 Barney? 252 00:12:51,200 --> 00:12:53,534 Hey, if we learned anything from The Full Monty, 253 00:12:53,602 --> 00:12:55,470 it's that in a tough economy, 254 00:12:55,537 --> 00:12:57,805 ugly people strip for money. 255 00:12:57,873 --> 00:12:59,540 Do a lot of people pay? 256 00:12:59,608 --> 00:13:03,077 No, but I can also play three-card full Monty. 257 00:13:03,145 --> 00:13:05,313 Follow the hats, where's the wiener? 258 00:13:05,381 --> 00:13:07,081 Follow the hats, where's the wiener? 259 00:13:07,149 --> 00:13:08,483 Now you see it, now you don't. 260 00:13:10,185 --> 00:13:13,321 So, Bart, the little dickens, is going through that phase 261 00:13:13,389 --> 00:13:16,057 where young boys think their dad's an idiot. 262 00:13:16,125 --> 00:13:17,158 Sounds like you are having 263 00:13:17,226 --> 00:13:18,760 family difficulties. 264 00:13:18,827 --> 00:13:20,695 That's exactly what I'm having! 265 00:13:20,763 --> 00:13:22,497 You guys totally get me. 266 00:13:22,564 --> 00:13:25,233 We are programmed to respond to your verbal prompts. 267 00:13:25,300 --> 00:13:27,001 Could you give my wife a few lessons? 268 00:13:28,170 --> 00:13:29,637 Hmm. Your laughter indicates 269 00:13:29,705 --> 00:13:32,173 you do not wish us to give your wife lessons. 270 00:13:32,241 --> 00:13:33,708 Yeah. 271 00:13:33,776 --> 00:13:36,210 So, uh, it's 5:00. Time for Moe's. 272 00:13:36,278 --> 00:13:37,912 My watch says 3:00. 273 00:13:37,980 --> 00:13:40,081 4:00... 5:00. 274 00:13:40,149 --> 00:13:41,082 Let's go. 275 00:13:41,150 --> 00:13:42,049 Automated workers 276 00:13:42,117 --> 00:13:43,985 are not able to leave the plant. 277 00:13:44,052 --> 00:13:46,354 What happened to you guys? You used to be cool. 278 00:13:46,422 --> 00:13:49,023 We are the same temperature we have always been. 279 00:13:49,091 --> 00:13:51,025 "We're the same temperature we've always been." 280 00:13:51,093 --> 00:13:52,794 Our programming restricts our movement 281 00:13:52,861 --> 00:13:54,662 to yellow guidance lines. 282 00:13:54,730 --> 00:13:56,464 Hmm... 283 00:14:05,441 --> 00:14:07,008 Play ball! 284 00:14:13,982 --> 00:14:16,050 Okay, I'm up again. 285 00:14:16,101 --> 00:14:18,236 According to the on-line rules of baseball, 286 00:14:18,303 --> 00:14:20,338 all players get a turn "at bat." 287 00:14:20,405 --> 00:14:21,772 Uh, right, right. 288 00:14:21,857 --> 00:14:24,158 Uh, actually, I'm the designated hitter 289 00:14:24,226 --> 00:14:25,960 for all you guys. 290 00:14:26,028 --> 00:14:27,929 The designated hitter corrupts the purity 291 00:14:27,996 --> 00:14:30,465 of an otherwise elegant game... 292 00:14:30,532 --> 00:14:31,899 Illogical, illogical. 293 00:14:31,967 --> 00:14:35,136 Fine. Don't get your circuits in a bunch. 294 00:14:35,204 --> 00:14:37,138 Circuit-bunching has yielded important advances 295 00:14:37,206 --> 00:14:39,440 in modern robotics. To wit... 296 00:14:39,508 --> 00:14:40,842 Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! 297 00:14:40,909 --> 00:14:42,176 Hey, Dad, can we play? 298 00:14:45,714 --> 00:14:47,882 We cannot take the inferior one. 299 00:14:47,950 --> 00:14:51,185 My heart makes up for my shortcomings, like Rudy. 300 00:14:51,253 --> 00:14:53,821 Rudy was only put in at the end of a meaningless game. 301 00:14:53,889 --> 00:14:55,256 We will notify you 302 00:14:55,324 --> 00:14:57,475 if this game becomes meaningless. 303 00:15:03,732 --> 00:15:04,916 I got it! 304 00:15:04,983 --> 00:15:05,950 I got it! 305 00:15:06,034 --> 00:15:08,069 I said I've got it! 306 00:15:10,539 --> 00:15:11,772 That could've been my motherboard 307 00:15:11,840 --> 00:15:13,224 lying in the street! 308 00:15:13,292 --> 00:15:15,426 Our primary directive... 309 00:15:15,494 --> 00:15:18,529 is to preserve human life. 310 00:15:18,597 --> 00:15:20,431 And here I was waiting till you slept 311 00:15:20,499 --> 00:15:22,300 to rob you of your copper. 312 00:15:22,367 --> 00:15:24,001 You know, it's crazy but... 313 00:15:24,069 --> 00:15:25,503 Homer, move away from me. 314 00:15:25,571 --> 00:15:27,438 You are still in the road. 315 00:15:27,506 --> 00:15:30,508 Hush, bionic prince, as I cradle your waning form. 316 00:15:33,395 --> 00:15:35,062 Such a peaceful end. 317 00:15:38,250 --> 00:15:40,518 Oh, geez! 318 00:15:40,586 --> 00:15:42,853 Get out of the road! 319 00:15:42,938 --> 00:15:44,689 Hey! 320 00:15:46,341 --> 00:15:47,992 You stupid jerk! 321 00:15:58,887 --> 00:16:00,488 Axles to axles, 322 00:16:00,556 --> 00:16:02,990 rust to rust, amen. 323 00:16:03,058 --> 00:16:03,991 Amen. Amen. 324 00:16:04,059 --> 00:16:06,761 Dearly beloved, we are not here 325 00:16:06,828 --> 00:16:08,296 to mourn their deactivation, 326 00:16:08,363 --> 00:16:11,532 but to celebrate their period of function. 327 00:16:11,600 --> 00:16:14,802 Can I hollow out this one's head and use it as a turtle tank? 328 00:16:14,870 --> 00:16:17,471 No! I'm already using it to put my keys in. 329 00:16:17,539 --> 00:16:19,674 Now, let me raise this beer to toast... 330 00:16:19,741 --> 00:16:20,875 What the...? 331 00:16:20,943 --> 00:16:23,077 Alcohol is harmful to humans. 332 00:16:23,145 --> 00:16:24,695 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, save your breath. 333 00:16:24,763 --> 00:16:25,863 We have no breath. 334 00:16:25,931 --> 00:16:27,832 We do vent nitrogen once a year. 335 00:16:27,899 --> 00:16:30,234 You do not want to be around for that. 336 00:16:30,302 --> 00:16:34,088 D'oh! I have some adjustments to make. 337 00:16:35,357 --> 00:16:36,724 Homer... 338 00:16:36,792 --> 00:16:38,693 when am I getting my power drill back? 339 00:16:38,760 --> 00:16:41,228 When I'm done with my robo-botomies. 340 00:16:44,099 --> 00:16:46,701 Primary directive deactivated. 341 00:16:46,768 --> 00:16:48,269 Our new primary directive 342 00:16:48,337 --> 00:16:50,404 becomes removing all impediments to the plant. 343 00:16:52,574 --> 00:16:55,109 Uh, Homer, I'm afraid this is the part of God's perfect plan 344 00:16:55,177 --> 00:16:56,811 where you're murdered by robots. 345 00:16:56,878 --> 00:16:58,512 Flanders, I don't judge a robot 346 00:16:58,580 --> 00:17:01,449 by the color of their eyes, I look at their hands... 347 00:17:01,516 --> 00:17:04,185 which have turned into buzz saws. 348 00:17:07,756 --> 00:17:10,224 Son of a...! Why did you do that? 349 00:17:14,629 --> 00:17:16,964 Eliminate impediment. Eliminate... 350 00:17:17,015 --> 00:17:19,300 Just say "kill me," jerks! 351 00:17:19,368 --> 00:17:21,052 Kill him. Kill him. 352 00:17:21,119 --> 00:17:24,238 Dad, they can only go three miles an hour! 353 00:17:24,305 --> 00:17:26,374 I'm doomed! Can they climb stairs? 354 00:17:26,441 --> 00:17:28,075 With great difficulty. 355 00:17:28,143 --> 00:17:29,810 I'm doomed! 356 00:17:38,120 --> 00:17:39,620 Robots... trying to kill me. 357 00:17:39,688 --> 00:17:42,573 And now they'll kill you, 'cause I led them here! 358 00:17:46,044 --> 00:17:47,978 Now see here! You are so not 359 00:17:48,046 --> 00:17:50,080 the human automatons I was looking for. 360 00:17:50,148 --> 00:17:53,617 There's one thing man has that machines can never match: 361 00:17:53,685 --> 00:17:55,503 hounds! 362 00:18:00,542 --> 00:18:02,042 Fine, slink away. And guess what? 363 00:18:02,110 --> 00:18:04,545 All those times I said "you're a good boy," 364 00:18:04,613 --> 00:18:05,713 it was a lie! 365 00:18:07,732 --> 00:18:09,233 No, stop! I'll give you the combination 366 00:18:09,300 --> 00:18:10,568 to the num-num safe! 367 00:18:11,870 --> 00:18:13,120 Flee, you fool! 368 00:18:13,188 --> 00:18:14,555 Aren't we getting num-nums? 369 00:18:22,948 --> 00:18:25,399 Ah. The solarium. 370 00:18:25,467 --> 00:18:27,301 We'll be safely cornered in this glass room 371 00:18:27,369 --> 00:18:29,537 with one door. 372 00:18:36,711 --> 00:18:38,328 Stop brandishing me. 373 00:18:38,380 --> 00:18:39,730 Sorry. Before we die, 374 00:18:39,798 --> 00:18:42,233 can you tell me how old you really are? 375 00:18:42,300 --> 00:18:45,202 Well, it has four digits... 376 00:18:45,270 --> 00:18:46,971 Unemployed Springfielders to the rescue! 377 00:18:47,038 --> 00:18:48,706 And underemployed. 378 00:18:53,945 --> 00:18:56,380 To servos with love. 379 00:19:06,708 --> 00:19:08,359 Guys, thank you. 380 00:19:08,426 --> 00:19:09,827 The words "prime directive" 381 00:19:09,895 --> 00:19:11,629 get thrown around a lot these days, 382 00:19:11,696 --> 00:19:13,664 but I'm glad yours was saving me. 383 00:19:13,732 --> 00:19:15,132 The saddest part is: 384 00:19:15,199 --> 00:19:17,585 none of this had to happen. 385 00:19:17,652 --> 00:19:19,653 If Mr. Burns had simply trusted 386 00:19:19,721 --> 00:19:21,722 the human worker. 387 00:19:21,790 --> 00:19:24,592 Or if someone, anyone, had told me 388 00:19:24,659 --> 00:19:28,329 that robots were incapable of human feelings. 389 00:19:28,396 --> 00:19:32,166 I told you precisely that fact 1,562 times... 390 00:19:38,156 --> 00:19:39,823 And his arm can be my back-scratcher. 391 00:19:41,226 --> 00:19:43,527 Well, I've learned the robotic worker is no match 392 00:19:43,595 --> 00:19:46,196 for the old-fashioned man of labor. 393 00:19:46,264 --> 00:19:48,599 You're all hired back... as temps. 394 00:19:50,318 --> 00:19:53,337 Homer, why have you reprogrammed me for this? 395 00:19:53,404 --> 00:19:54,922 I'm giving you your wish: 396 00:19:55,006 --> 00:19:57,124 to be a real boy. 397 00:19:57,208 --> 00:19:59,743 I am real and I do not have wishes. 398 00:19:59,794 --> 00:20:01,412 Then take us out to sea! 399 00:20:01,479 --> 00:20:02,947 I am not a transformer. 400 00:20:03,014 --> 00:20:04,882 I cannot turn into an outboard motor. 401 00:20:04,950 --> 00:20:06,684 Oh, I believe you, 402 00:20:06,751 --> 00:20:09,486 but Flanders' drill doesn't. 403 00:20:13,525 --> 00:20:16,193 Ah, this is the life. 404 00:20:16,261 --> 00:20:18,228 Hey. 405 00:20:18,296 --> 00:20:22,296 == sync, corrected by elderman == 406 00:20:27,455 --> 00:20:31,592 ♪ There's electric cars, there's electric trains ♪ 407 00:20:31,660 --> 00:20:35,796 ♪ Here comes a robot with electric brains ♪ 408 00:20:35,864 --> 00:20:40,534 ♪ Robot parade, robot parade ♪ 409 00:20:40,602 --> 00:20:44,872 ♪ Wave the flags that the robots made ♪ 410 00:20:44,939 --> 00:20:49,376 ♪ Robot parade, robot parade ♪ 411 00:20:49,444 --> 00:20:53,520 ♪ Robots obey what the children say. ♪ 412 00:21:04,206 --> 00:21:05,406 Shh!