1 00:00:02,411 --> 00:00:05,311 ♪ The Simpsons ♪ 2 00:00:07,814 --> 00:00:09,014 D'oh! 3 00:00:21,414 --> 00:00:24,914 ♪ The Simpsons 23x17 ♪ Them, Robot Original Air Date on March 18, 2012 4 00:00:24,939 --> 00:00:28,439 == sync, corrected by elderman == 5 00:00:49,151 --> 00:00:50,718 Power's out. 6 00:00:50,786 --> 00:00:53,921 Oh, your father must be sleeping on his side again. 7 00:00:57,359 --> 00:00:59,694 From downtown! 8 00:00:59,761 --> 00:01:00,928 And it counts! 9 00:01:03,749 --> 00:01:04,715 Think he's okay? 10 00:01:07,402 --> 00:01:09,120 Eh... 11 00:01:09,187 --> 00:01:10,588 (raspy) Thank you. 12 00:01:10,655 --> 00:01:12,023 Just drink some water, you're all right. 13 00:01:12,090 --> 00:01:13,657 Oh, yeah, you don't want to go to the hospital 14 00:01:13,725 --> 00:01:14,942 at 5:00 on a Friday. 15 00:01:15,010 --> 00:01:16,043 Whoo-hoo! 16 00:01:16,111 --> 00:01:17,945 Thank God it's TGIF! 17 00:01:18,013 --> 00:01:19,663 Attention, wage worms. 18 00:01:19,731 --> 00:01:22,450 It's time for afternoon announcements. 19 00:01:30,525 --> 00:01:32,676 This Monday, the plant will be conducting 20 00:01:32,744 --> 00:01:34,979 physical examinations of all employees. 21 00:01:35,047 --> 00:01:37,648 And anyone testing positive for narcotics 22 00:01:37,716 --> 00:01:39,250 will be terminated immediately! 23 00:01:39,317 --> 00:01:41,252 Bad news, Lang-Soo. 24 00:01:41,319 --> 00:01:43,187 Some casual Friday this is. 25 00:01:43,255 --> 00:01:45,305 You're outta here, drug-o. 26 00:01:45,357 --> 00:01:46,524 And don't forget, federal law mandates 27 00:01:46,591 --> 00:01:48,876 that we consider alcohol a drug. 28 00:01:50,245 --> 00:01:51,962 D'oh...! 29 00:01:58,703 --> 00:02:01,338 I told them to make these track d'oh-proof! 30 00:02:18,607 --> 00:02:21,242 Homie! You're home early! 31 00:02:21,309 --> 00:02:23,527 Well, I didn't feel like going to Moe's today. 32 00:02:23,595 --> 00:02:26,430 Thought I might hang out here for as long as I could take it. 33 00:02:26,498 --> 00:02:28,099 Company physical coming up, huh? 34 00:02:28,166 --> 00:02:30,851 Yeah, but a weekend without drinking is no big deal. 35 00:02:30,919 --> 00:02:33,487 I did it when I was in that alcohol-induced coma. 36 00:02:36,041 --> 00:02:37,958 So, what's on the agenda? 37 00:02:38,026 --> 00:02:39,077 Well, we're having brunch with my sisters. 38 00:02:39,840 --> 00:02:41,247 You're hosting my Preteen Braves meeting. 39 00:02:42,120 --> 00:02:43,320 And we're gonna make dreamcatchers 40 00:02:43,388 --> 00:02:45,355 out of litter we pick up. 41 00:02:45,423 --> 00:02:47,190 you promised to help me write a iku. 44 00:02:51,095 --> 00:02:52,562 What was I thinking? 45 00:02:54,565 --> 00:02:56,600 Thank you! Huh?! 46 00:02:56,668 --> 00:02:58,251 And you and I were going to study 47 00:02:58,319 --> 00:02:59,670 the municipal voter's guide. 48 00:02:59,737 --> 00:03:01,138 What the...? 49 00:03:01,205 --> 00:03:03,840 Section 1 of Article 21 of the State Constitution 50 00:03:03,891 --> 00:03:05,759 is amended to read: Section 1. 51 00:03:05,827 --> 00:03:08,395 In the year following the year in which the national census 52 00:03:08,463 --> 00:03:10,180 is taken under the direction of Congress 53 00:03:10,248 --> 00:03:13,216 at the beginning of each decade, the Legislature shall adjust 54 00:03:13,284 --> 00:03:15,218 the boundary lines of Congressional, State Senate 55 00:03:15,286 --> 00:03:16,320 and Assembly districts-- 56 00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:21,458 Liquor, mustn't think of liquor... 57 00:03:23,044 --> 00:03:24,411 Hey, there! What's cookin'? 58 00:03:24,479 --> 00:03:26,997 Come on, boy, crack my seal 59 00:03:27,064 --> 00:03:28,732 and drink your father. 60 00:03:28,800 --> 00:03:30,867 Owwww! 61 00:03:32,337 --> 00:03:34,037 Wait a minute-- that feels good. 62 00:03:34,105 --> 00:03:35,172 Mm! 63 00:03:38,793 --> 00:03:41,478 So, a sober weekend hasn't been that hard. 64 00:03:41,546 --> 00:03:44,731 Let me just take a few antidepressants here. 65 00:03:47,168 --> 00:03:49,703 I feel sorry for people without willpower. 66 00:03:49,771 --> 00:03:51,938 I truly do. 67 00:03:52,006 --> 00:03:53,540 Homie, what are you drinking? 68 00:03:53,608 --> 00:03:57,778 A surprisingly not-horrible fruit drink called a mimosa. 69 00:03:57,845 --> 00:04:00,430 There's champagne in those! 70 00:04:00,498 --> 00:04:02,699 Then there's champagne in me! 71 00:04:02,767 --> 00:04:04,267 Oh, what am I gonna do? 72 00:04:04,335 --> 00:04:06,670 It's less than 24 hours till my drug test! 73 00:04:06,738 --> 00:04:07,971 Maybe I can sweat it out. 74 00:04:10,842 --> 00:04:13,794 Oh, man, I'd better have some coffee and iced tea. 75 00:04:13,861 --> 00:04:16,246 No! Irish and Long Island! 76 00:04:16,314 --> 00:04:17,481 What about this lemonade? 77 00:04:17,548 --> 00:04:18,965 Mike's Hard! 78 00:04:19,050 --> 00:04:21,435 Then I better soak up the alcohol with some food! 79 00:04:21,502 --> 00:04:22,736 Whoo! Cake! Rum cake! 80 00:04:22,804 --> 00:04:24,087 Crepes! Suzette! 81 00:04:24,155 --> 00:04:25,589 Cherries! 82 00:04:25,656 --> 00:04:27,290 Whoo! Jubilee! 83 00:04:38,269 --> 00:04:40,387 Wow, passed with flying colors! 84 00:04:40,455 --> 00:04:41,838 I've sure earned this! 85 00:04:50,915 --> 00:04:54,251 O, Lord, I have once again besotted 86 00:04:54,318 --> 00:04:56,153 my liver with Thy fermented gifts. 87 00:04:56,220 --> 00:04:58,522 If You can weasel me out of this physical, 88 00:04:58,589 --> 00:05:00,490 I will blow Your mind by doing something 89 00:05:00,558 --> 00:05:03,393 incredibly holy, at some point. Amen. 90 00:05:03,461 --> 00:05:05,162 Now to mumble in a religious fashion. 91 00:05:05,229 --> 00:05:07,664 Dear God, O, Lord, O, God, O, Lord... 92 00:05:07,732 --> 00:05:09,766 O, Lord, O, God, O, Lord Almighty. 93 00:05:12,670 --> 00:05:14,337 Hm... 94 00:05:14,405 --> 00:05:17,407 your cells have been overexposed to gamma radiation. 95 00:05:17,475 --> 00:05:18,375 Like the Hulk? 96 00:05:18,443 --> 00:05:19,976 Well, sort of like the Hulk. 97 00:05:20,044 --> 00:05:21,511 But instead of getting powerful, 98 00:05:21,579 --> 00:05:23,246 you're going to get very, very sick. 99 00:05:25,049 --> 00:05:26,716 Hulk smash... 100 00:05:26,784 --> 00:05:30,687 Yes, Hulk smash. 101 00:05:30,755 --> 00:05:32,189 Mr. Burns, you are liable 102 00:05:32,256 --> 00:05:34,758 for thousands of dollars per employee, 103 00:05:34,826 --> 00:05:37,260 not to mention my extensive fees which... 104 00:05:39,030 --> 00:05:40,697 This trapdoor app works like a charm. 105 00:05:40,765 --> 00:05:42,432 Excellent. 106 00:05:42,500 --> 00:05:43,800 You'll still have to pay! 107 00:05:45,536 --> 00:05:47,537 This is the last time I pay the price 108 00:05:47,605 --> 00:05:49,739 for the irritating mortality of the human worker. 109 00:05:49,807 --> 00:05:51,741 Smithers, it's time to re-staff with 110 00:05:51,809 --> 00:05:53,844 the super-intelligent kangaroos we've been breeding! 111 00:05:53,911 --> 00:05:55,011 I'm sorry, sir, 112 00:05:55,079 --> 00:05:56,213 but they just filled their pouches 113 00:05:56,280 --> 00:05:57,681 with office supplies and hopped away. 114 00:05:57,748 --> 00:05:59,282 Even the joeys? 115 00:05:59,350 --> 00:06:01,574 You know, sir, there is a more high-tech solution. 116 00:06:01,641 --> 00:06:04,977 More high-tech than kangaroos? 117 00:06:05,045 --> 00:06:06,378 Ladies and gentlemen, 118 00:06:06,446 --> 00:06:08,914 meet the future masters of the human race. 119 00:06:14,654 --> 00:06:16,372 Comicon nerds! 120 00:06:16,439 --> 00:06:18,007 You fool! These are robots! 121 00:06:18,074 --> 00:06:19,642 You will train them 122 00:06:19,709 --> 00:06:22,011 and they will replace you. 123 00:06:23,647 --> 00:06:26,715 I give you permission to shake your fists in anger twice. 124 00:06:28,552 --> 00:06:30,085 I didn't say, Monty Says. 125 00:06:30,153 --> 00:06:31,754 Now I have cause to terminate. 126 00:06:31,822 --> 00:06:33,189 This is crap. 127 00:06:33,256 --> 00:06:35,691 Now get out. You didn't say Monty Says. 128 00:06:35,759 --> 00:06:36,492 This is no game! 129 00:06:41,433 --> 00:06:42,236 Excellent. 130 00:06:42,237 --> 00:06:44,856 Sir, I'm afraid we do need to keep one human worker-- 131 00:06:44,923 --> 00:06:47,742 to sign for packages, a scapegoat for meltdowns, 132 00:06:47,793 --> 00:06:49,894 things that would be a waste of the robots' time. 133 00:06:49,962 --> 00:06:53,631 So we need one meat sock on the payroll. 134 00:06:53,699 --> 00:06:56,667 But who? Mr. Burns, before I leave, 135 00:06:56,735 --> 00:06:59,403 I got a few things to get off my chest. 136 00:06:59,471 --> 00:07:02,440 One, I liked the new microwave in the break room. 137 00:07:02,508 --> 00:07:04,775 Just push "popcorn," you don't have to know how long. 138 00:07:04,843 --> 00:07:08,729 Two, replacing us with robots is heartless and despicable. 139 00:07:08,797 --> 00:07:11,799 Three, how about a farewell party with a caricature artist? 140 00:07:11,867 --> 00:07:14,569 You know, it's something both kids and adults can enjoy. 141 00:07:14,636 --> 00:07:16,454 So, to sum up: nicely done, 142 00:07:16,522 --> 00:07:18,923 we hate you, and food for thought. 143 00:07:18,991 --> 00:07:20,892 Simpson, wait! 144 00:07:20,959 --> 00:07:23,077 As it turns out, there is one job available. 145 00:07:23,145 --> 00:07:25,513 But be forewarned, it promises naught 146 00:07:25,581 --> 00:07:27,882 but soul-crushing boredom. 147 00:07:27,950 --> 00:07:29,250 Does the chair go back like this? 148 00:07:30,552 --> 00:07:31,319 Yes. 149 00:07:31,386 --> 00:07:32,453 Whoo-hoo! 150 00:07:37,392 --> 00:07:39,460 Well, looks like we've found this plant's 151 00:07:39,528 --> 00:07:41,729 one remaining worker of bone and sinew. 152 00:07:41,797 --> 00:07:45,466 Sir, I believe there are two, including yours truly. 153 00:07:45,534 --> 00:07:48,135 It's one, excluding mine falsely! 154 00:07:48,203 --> 00:07:51,239 Well, surely no robot can replace me. 155 00:07:51,306 --> 00:07:52,139 Oh! 156 00:07:53,592 --> 00:07:54,358 Mmm! 157 00:07:59,448 --> 00:08:00,648 I can do that. 158 00:08:03,635 --> 00:08:05,736 What about this? 159 00:08:16,481 --> 00:08:18,950 Nice parking, idiot. 160 00:08:25,090 --> 00:08:27,892 So, uh, you guys are my new coworkers. 161 00:08:27,960 --> 00:08:30,127 So, workin' hard or hardly workin'? 162 00:08:32,164 --> 00:08:35,199 I said, workin' hard or hardly workin'? 163 00:08:35,267 --> 00:08:38,970 Workin' hard or hardly working?! 164 00:08:39,037 --> 00:08:43,074 Working hard or hardly working?! 165 00:08:43,141 --> 00:08:45,276 It's a simple question! 166 00:08:45,344 --> 00:08:48,145 Are you A.) Working hard 167 00:08:48,213 --> 00:08:50,748 or B.) Ow! 168 00:08:53,168 --> 00:08:55,703 I guess I just met the joker of the group. 169 00:08:55,771 --> 00:08:58,906 Better watch out for you on April Fool's, am I right? 170 00:08:58,974 --> 00:09:01,008 I said, am I right? 171 00:09:01,076 --> 00:09:03,311 Am I... 172 00:09:03,378 --> 00:09:05,913 So, you guys have any luck finding a new job? 173 00:09:05,981 --> 00:09:08,516 Does it look like I've got a job? No, I didn't. 174 00:09:08,583 --> 00:09:10,484 Homer, show a little more sensitivity 175 00:09:10,552 --> 00:09:12,386 around these jobless washouts, eh? 176 00:09:12,454 --> 00:09:14,989 Hey, I gotta tell ya, I'm miserable there. 177 00:09:15,057 --> 00:09:17,658 I'm all alone, and when there's some problem 178 00:09:17,726 --> 00:09:20,461 due to human error, guess who gets blamed? 179 00:09:20,529 --> 00:09:22,363 Hey, Homer, you know what I'm playing for ya? 180 00:09:22,431 --> 00:09:24,265 The world's smallest violin. 181 00:09:24,333 --> 00:09:26,801 And now I got to sell it, just to make my rent! 182 00:09:28,537 --> 00:09:29,937 Oh, my God! Where's the bow? 183 00:09:30,005 --> 00:09:31,472 I can't sell it without the bow! 184 00:09:31,540 --> 00:09:33,074 Easy, easy there, Lenny. 185 00:09:33,141 --> 00:09:34,842 You can always play it pizzicato. 186 00:09:34,910 --> 00:09:38,162 The buyer clearly specified violin and bow! 187 00:09:38,230 --> 00:09:40,581 Um, maybe I should be heading home. 188 00:09:40,632 --> 00:09:41,699 Oh, no! 189 00:09:41,767 --> 00:09:43,334 He stepped on the bow! 190 00:09:43,402 --> 00:09:45,403 Boy, this place has gotten so grim. 191 00:09:45,470 --> 00:09:46,904 I'm gonna do something I've never done: 192 00:09:46,972 --> 00:09:48,272 Make myself a drink. 193 00:09:51,259 --> 00:09:52,994 Ugh! You call this beer? 194 00:09:53,061 --> 00:09:54,512 It's watered-down swill! 195 00:09:54,579 --> 00:09:55,846 Oh, you got a problem? 196 00:09:55,914 --> 00:09:58,349 Well, here's the complaint department. 197 00:09:58,417 --> 00:10:01,218 You know what I think, Moe? I think you ain't got the guts! 198 00:10:01,286 --> 00:10:03,254 Ha! Missed, ya son-of-a... 199 00:10:04,856 --> 00:10:07,274 ♪ When the moon hits your eye ♪ 200 00:10:07,342 --> 00:10:09,427 ♪ like a big pizza pie ♪ 201 00:10:09,494 --> 00:10:11,328 ♪ That's amore ♪ 202 00:10:11,396 --> 00:10:14,432 ♪ When the world seems... ♪ 203 00:10:14,499 --> 00:10:16,917 When you do chair gondola all by yourself, 204 00:10:16,985 --> 00:10:18,703 it almost seems stupid. 205 00:10:24,710 --> 00:10:26,143 Ah, here it is-- 206 00:10:26,211 --> 00:10:29,013 Hydraulic systems flush... 207 00:10:29,081 --> 00:10:31,148 EEPROM bios auto boot ... 208 00:10:31,216 --> 00:10:34,318 conversation mode?! They can talk?! 209 00:10:34,386 --> 00:10:36,787 I just have to press this button, right... 210 00:10:38,507 --> 00:10:39,940 Well, at least it doesn't feel pain. 211 00:10:41,143 --> 00:10:42,343 Wait a minute... 212 00:10:42,411 --> 00:10:44,612 D'oh! 213 00:10:44,679 --> 00:10:47,298 "Override self-destruct protocol 214 00:10:47,365 --> 00:10:53,571 with authorization code 7... 2... 2... 5." 215 00:10:53,638 --> 00:10:55,639 Human interaction mode activated. 216 00:10:55,707 --> 00:10:57,208 Initiate conversation. 217 00:10:57,275 --> 00:10:59,443 Will you be my friend? 218 00:10:59,511 --> 00:11:02,346 Friendship cannot exist between man and machine. 219 00:11:02,414 --> 00:11:04,849 But I can simulate interest in your statements. 220 00:11:04,916 --> 00:11:06,951 You're not a friend... 221 00:11:07,018 --> 00:11:09,253 you're my best friend. 222 00:11:09,321 --> 00:11:12,356 Uh, just don't ask me to drive you to the airport. 223 00:11:21,420 --> 00:11:23,088 It's no fun to live in a town 224 00:11:23,155 --> 00:11:26,191 with a 99% unemployment rate. 225 00:11:26,259 --> 00:11:28,426 Things are so bad. 226 00:11:28,494 --> 00:11:31,596 Look at what happened to the man on my pizza box. 227 00:11:35,651 --> 00:11:37,619 Mr. Burns seemed like such a nice man 228 00:11:37,687 --> 00:11:40,188 the day he arrived. 229 00:11:45,278 --> 00:11:46,995 Cheap power, plentiful jobs, 230 00:11:47,046 --> 00:11:48,830 and all your swimming holes 231 00:11:48,881 --> 00:11:50,999 shall be warm and bubbling. 232 00:11:51,067 --> 00:11:53,051 Can I pet the elephant? 233 00:11:54,470 --> 00:11:55,770 Of course. 234 00:12:01,160 --> 00:12:04,062 Guess I'll just have to become beautiful on the inside. 235 00:12:04,130 --> 00:12:05,113 Which he didn't. 236 00:12:05,180 --> 00:12:06,598 I ain't paying! 237 00:12:06,666 --> 00:12:08,333 Two of my shortbreads were broken! 238 00:12:08,401 --> 00:12:09,868 Hey, check it out! 239 00:12:09,936 --> 00:12:11,736 Lenny's hit a new low! 240 00:12:13,589 --> 00:12:15,657 I don't want my window washed! 241 00:12:15,725 --> 00:12:18,326 Too late! 242 00:12:19,862 --> 00:12:21,796 I don't want my squeegee wiped! 243 00:12:21,864 --> 00:12:23,164 I got what I needed. 244 00:12:25,251 --> 00:12:26,418 That's it, boy. 245 00:12:26,502 --> 00:12:27,953 Live one more day. 246 00:12:30,723 --> 00:12:31,790 Good morning, class. 247 00:12:31,857 --> 00:12:33,842 I'm your substitute teacher... 248 00:12:33,893 --> 00:12:35,727 All right, who did that? 249 00:12:38,397 --> 00:12:40,799 Fine. We will not be reading Death in Venice today. 250 00:12:43,235 --> 00:12:44,836 Someone's in a mood. 251 00:12:46,105 --> 00:12:48,056 Barney? 252 00:12:48,124 --> 00:12:50,458 Hey, if we learned anything from The Full Monty, 253 00:12:50,526 --> 00:12:52,394 it's that in a tough economy, 254 00:12:52,461 --> 00:12:54,729 ugly people strip for money. 255 00:12:54,797 --> 00:12:56,464 Do a lot of people pay? 256 00:12:56,532 --> 00:13:00,001 No, but I can also play three-card full Monty. 257 00:13:00,069 --> 00:13:02,237 Follow the hats, where's the wiener? 258 00:13:02,305 --> 00:13:04,005 Follow the hats, where's the wiener? 259 00:13:04,073 --> 00:13:05,407 Now you see it, now you don't. 260 00:13:07,109 --> 00:13:10,245 So, Bart, the little dickens, is going through that phase 261 00:13:10,313 --> 00:13:12,981 where young boys think their dad's an idiot. 262 00:13:13,049 --> 00:13:14,082 Sounds like you are having 263 00:13:14,150 --> 00:13:15,684 family difficulties. 264 00:13:15,751 --> 00:13:17,619 That's exactly what I'm having! 265 00:13:17,687 --> 00:13:19,421 You guys totally get me. 266 00:13:19,488 --> 00:13:22,157 We are programmed to respond to your verbal prompts. 267 00:13:22,224 --> 00:13:23,925 Could you give my wife a few lessons? 268 00:13:25,094 --> 00:13:26,561 Hmm. Your laughter indicates 269 00:13:26,629 --> 00:13:29,097 you do not wish us to give your wife lessons. 270 00:13:29,165 --> 00:13:30,632 Yeah. 271 00:13:30,700 --> 00:13:33,134 So, uh, it's 5:00. Time for Moe's. 272 00:13:33,202 --> 00:13:34,836 My watch says 3:00. 273 00:13:34,904 --> 00:13:37,005 4:00... 5:00. 274 00:13:37,073 --> 00:13:38,006 Let's go. 275 00:13:38,074 --> 00:13:38,973 Automated workers 276 00:13:39,041 --> 00:13:40,909 are not able to leave the plant. 277 00:13:40,976 --> 00:13:43,278 What happened to you guys? You used to be cool. 278 00:13:43,346 --> 00:13:45,947 We are the same temperature we have always been. 279 00:13:46,015 --> 00:13:47,949 "We're the same temperature we've always been." 280 00:13:48,017 --> 00:13:49,718 Our programming restricts our movement 281 00:13:49,785 --> 00:13:51,586 to yellow guidance lines. 282 00:13:51,654 --> 00:13:53,388 Hmm... 283 00:14:02,365 --> 00:14:03,932 Play ball! 284 00:14:10,906 --> 00:14:12,974 Okay, I'm up again. 285 00:14:13,025 --> 00:14:15,160 According to the on-line rules of baseball, 286 00:14:15,227 --> 00:14:17,262 all players get a turn "at bat." 287 00:14:17,329 --> 00:14:18,696 Uh, right, right. 288 00:14:18,781 --> 00:14:21,082 Uh, actually, I'm the designated hitter 289 00:14:21,150 --> 00:14:22,884 for all you guys. 290 00:14:22,952 --> 00:14:24,853 The designated hitter corrupts the purity 291 00:14:24,920 --> 00:14:27,389 of an otherwise elegant game... 292 00:14:27,456 --> 00:14:28,823 Illogical, illogical. 293 00:14:28,891 --> 00:14:32,060 Fine. Don't get your circuits in a bunch. 294 00:14:32,128 --> 00:14:34,062 Circuit-bunching has yielded important advances 295 00:14:34,130 --> 00:14:36,364 in modern robotics. To wit... 296 00:14:36,432 --> 00:14:37,766 Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! 297 00:14:37,833 --> 00:14:39,100 Hey, Dad, can we play? 298 00:14:42,638 --> 00:14:44,806 We cannot take the inferior one. 299 00:14:44,874 --> 00:14:48,109 My heart makes up for my shortcomings, like Rudy. 300 00:14:48,177 --> 00:14:50,745 Rudy was only put in at the end of a meaningless game. 301 00:14:50,813 --> 00:14:52,180 We will notify you 302 00:14:52,248 --> 00:14:54,399 if this game becomes meaningless. 303 00:15:00,656 --> 00:15:01,840 I got it! 304 00:15:01,907 --> 00:15:02,874 I got it! 305 00:15:02,958 --> 00:15:04,993 I said I've got it! 306 00:15:07,463 --> 00:15:08,696 That could've been my motherboard 307 00:15:08,764 --> 00:15:10,148 lying in the street! 308 00:15:10,216 --> 00:15:12,350 Our primary directive... 309 00:15:12,418 --> 00:15:15,453 is to preserve human life. 310 00:15:15,521 --> 00:15:17,355 And here I was waiting till you slept 311 00:15:17,423 --> 00:15:19,224 to rob you of your copper. 312 00:15:19,291 --> 00:15:20,925 You know, it's crazy but... 313 00:15:20,993 --> 00:15:22,427 Homer, move away from me. 314 00:15:22,495 --> 00:15:24,362 You are still in the road. 315 00:15:24,430 --> 00:15:27,432 Hush, bionic prince, as I cradle your waning form. 316 00:15:30,319 --> 00:15:31,986 Such a peaceful end. 317 00:15:35,174 --> 00:15:37,442 Oh, geez! 318 00:15:37,510 --> 00:15:39,777 Get out of the road! 319 00:15:39,862 --> 00:15:41,613 Hey! 320 00:15:43,265 --> 00:15:44,916 You stupid jerk! 321 00:15:55,811 --> 00:15:57,412 Axles to axles, 322 00:15:57,480 --> 00:15:59,914 rust to rust, amen. 323 00:15:59,982 --> 00:16:00,915 Amen. Amen. 324 00:16:00,983 --> 00:16:03,685 Dearly beloved, we are not here 325 00:16:03,752 --> 00:16:05,220 to mourn their deactivation, 326 00:16:05,287 --> 00:16:08,456 but to celebrate their period of function. 327 00:16:08,524 --> 00:16:11,726 Can I hollow out this one's head and use it as a turtle tank? 328 00:16:11,794 --> 00:16:14,395 No! I'm already using it to put my keys in. 329 00:16:14,463 --> 00:16:16,598 Now, let me raise this beer to toast... 330 00:16:16,665 --> 00:16:17,799 What the...? 331 00:16:17,867 --> 00:16:20,001 Alcohol is harmful to humans. 332 00:16:20,069 --> 00:16:21,619 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, save your breath. 333 00:16:21,687 --> 00:16:22,787 We have no breath. 334 00:16:22,855 --> 00:16:24,756 We do vent nitrogen once a year. 335 00:16:24,823 --> 00:16:27,158 You do not want to be around for that. 336 00:16:27,226 --> 00:16:31,012 D'oh! I have some adjustments to make. 337 00:16:32,281 --> 00:16:33,648 Homer... 338 00:16:33,716 --> 00:16:35,617 when am I getting my power drill back? 339 00:16:35,684 --> 00:16:38,152 When I'm done with my robo-botomies. 340 00:16:41,023 --> 00:16:43,625 Primary directive deactivated. 341 00:16:43,692 --> 00:16:45,193 Our new primary directive 342 00:16:45,261 --> 00:16:47,328 becomes removing all impediments to the plant. 343 00:16:49,498 --> 00:16:52,033 Uh, Homer, I'm afraid this is the part of God's perfect plan 344 00:16:52,101 --> 00:16:53,735 where you're murdered by robots. 345 00:16:53,802 --> 00:16:55,436 Flanders, I don't judge a robot 346 00:16:55,504 --> 00:16:58,373 by the color of their eyes, I look at their hands... 347 00:16:58,440 --> 00:17:01,109 which have turned into buzz saws. 348 00:17:04,680 --> 00:17:07,148 Son of a...! Why did you do that? 349 00:17:11,553 --> 00:17:13,888 Eliminate impediment. Eliminate... 350 00:17:13,939 --> 00:17:16,224 Just say "kill me," jerks! 351 00:17:16,292 --> 00:17:17,976 Kill him. Kill him. 352 00:17:18,043 --> 00:17:21,162 Dad, they can only go three miles an hour! 353 00:17:21,229 --> 00:17:23,298 I'm doomed! Can they climb stairs? 354 00:17:23,365 --> 00:17:24,999 With great difficulty. 355 00:17:25,067 --> 00:17:26,734 I'm doomed! 356 00:17:33,277 --> 00:17:34,777 Robots... trying to kill me. 357 00:17:34,845 --> 00:17:37,730 And now they'll kill you, 'cause I led them here! 358 00:17:41,201 --> 00:17:43,135 Now see here! You are so not 359 00:17:43,203 --> 00:17:45,237 the human automatons I was looking for. 360 00:17:45,305 --> 00:17:48,774 There's one thing man has that machines can never match: 361 00:17:48,842 --> 00:17:50,660 hounds! 362 00:17:55,699 --> 00:17:57,199 Fine, slink away. And guess what? 363 00:17:57,267 --> 00:17:59,702 All those times I said "you're a good boy," 364 00:17:59,770 --> 00:18:00,870 it was a lie! 365 00:18:02,889 --> 00:18:04,390 No, stop! I'll give you the combination 366 00:18:04,457 --> 00:18:05,725 to the num-num safe! 367 00:18:07,027 --> 00:18:08,277 Flee, you fool! 368 00:18:08,345 --> 00:18:09,712 Aren't we getting num-nums? 369 00:18:18,105 --> 00:18:20,556 Ah. The solarium. 370 00:18:20,624 --> 00:18:22,458 We'll be safely cornered in this glass room 371 00:18:22,526 --> 00:18:24,694 with one door. 372 00:18:31,868 --> 00:18:33,485 Stop brandishing me. 373 00:18:33,537 --> 00:18:34,887 Sorry. Before we die, 374 00:18:34,955 --> 00:18:37,390 can you tell me how old you really are? 375 00:18:37,457 --> 00:18:40,359 Well, it has four digits... 376 00:18:40,427 --> 00:18:42,128 Unemployed Springfielders to the rescue! 377 00:18:42,195 --> 00:18:43,863 And underemployed. 378 00:18:49,102 --> 00:18:51,537 To servos with love. 379 00:19:01,865 --> 00:19:03,516 Guys, thank you. 380 00:19:03,583 --> 00:19:04,984 The words "prime directive" 381 00:19:05,052 --> 00:19:06,786 get thrown around a lot these days, 382 00:19:06,853 --> 00:19:08,821 but I'm glad yours was saving me. 383 00:19:08,889 --> 00:19:10,289 The saddest part is: 384 00:19:10,356 --> 00:19:12,742 none of this had to happen. 385 00:19:12,809 --> 00:19:14,810 If Mr. Burns had simply trusted 386 00:19:14,878 --> 00:19:16,879 the human worker. 387 00:19:16,947 --> 00:19:19,749 Or if someone, anyone, had told me 388 00:19:19,816 --> 00:19:23,486 that robots were incapable of human feelings. 389 00:19:23,553 --> 00:19:27,323 I told you precisely that fact 1,562 times... 390 00:19:33,313 --> 00:19:34,980 And his arm can be my back-scratcher. 391 00:19:36,383 --> 00:19:38,684 Well, I've learned the robotic worker is no match 392 00:19:38,752 --> 00:19:41,353 for the old-fashioned man of labor. 393 00:19:41,421 --> 00:19:43,756 You're all hired back... as temps. 394 00:19:45,475 --> 00:19:48,494 Homer, why have you reprogrammed me for this? 395 00:19:48,561 --> 00:19:50,079 I'm giving you your wish: 396 00:19:50,163 --> 00:19:52,281 to be a real boy. 397 00:19:52,365 --> 00:19:54,900 I am real and I do not have wishes. 398 00:19:54,951 --> 00:19:56,569 Then take us out to sea! 399 00:19:56,636 --> 00:19:58,104 I am not a transformer. 400 00:19:58,171 --> 00:20:00,039 I cannot turn into an outboard motor. 401 00:20:00,107 --> 00:20:01,841 Oh, I believe you, 402 00:20:01,908 --> 00:20:04,643 but Flanders' drill doesn't. 403 00:20:08,682 --> 00:20:11,350 Ah, this is the life. 404 00:20:11,418 --> 00:20:13,385 Hey. 405 00:20:13,453 --> 00:20:17,453 == sync, corrected by elderman == 406 00:20:22,612 --> 00:20:26,749 ♪ There's electric cars, there's electric trains ♪ 407 00:20:26,817 --> 00:20:30,953 ♪ Here comes a robot with electric brains ♪ 408 00:20:31,021 --> 00:20:35,691 ♪ Robot parade, robot parade ♪ 409 00:20:35,759 --> 00:20:40,029 ♪ Wave the flags that the robots made ♪ 410 00:20:40,096 --> 00:20:44,533 ♪ Robot parade, robot parade ♪ 411 00:20:44,601 --> 00:20:48,677 ♪ Robots obey what the children say. ♪ 412 00:20:59,363 --> 00:21:00,563 Shh!