1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,739
<i>Previously on Desperate
Housewives...</i>

2
00:00:02,742 --> 00:00:04,773
<i>Carlos needed to make a change.</i>

3
00:00:04,774 --> 00:00:08,757
I am miserable at work.
I can't do it anymore.

4
00:00:08,758 --> 00:00:11,342
<i>Orson sent the police
an anonymous tip.</i>

5
00:00:11,404 --> 00:00:12,800
Got a feeling about this.

6
00:00:12,801 --> 00:00:15,301
Enough of a feeling to go
dig up a construction site?

7
00:00:16,438 --> 00:00:18,392
<i>Mike protected Renee...</i>

8
00:00:18,392 --> 00:00:19,471
He is a good man.

9
00:00:20,072 --> 00:00:22,109
<i>But he paid the price.</i>

10
00:00:30,046 --> 00:00:32,083
<i>Every day on Wisteria Lane,</i>

11
00:00:32,823 --> 00:00:36,772
<i>women face their share
of problems...</i>

12
00:00:36,773 --> 00:00:40,948
<i>like a paperboy
who's off the mark...</i>

13
00:00:40,985 --> 00:00:44,035
<i>an appliance
that's out of whack...</i>

14
00:00:45,993 --> 00:00:50,984
<i>or a report card
that's below par.</i>

15
00:00:50,985 --> 00:00:53,975
<i>These everyday problems
can seem like</i>

16
00:00:53,976 --> 00:00:56,034
<i>matters of life and death.</i>

17
00:00:56,035 --> 00:00:59,022
I've told your paperboy
ten times...

18
00:00:59,022 --> 00:01:02,035
the flower bed sprinklers go on
at 6:00 A.M. sharp.

19
00:01:05,579 --> 00:01:07,534
I don't know how you can
call him a repairman

20
00:01:07,535 --> 00:01:09,538
if after he visits,
the thing is not repaired.

21
00:01:11,600 --> 00:01:14,538
And get this, Carlos.
Her math teacher wrote,

22
00:01:14,538 --> 00:01:17,529
"the only thing worse than
her arithmetic is her attitude."

23
00:01:21,365 --> 00:01:25,365
<i>But then something
truly horrible comes along...</i>

24
00:01:27,386 --> 00:01:32,319
<i>and we rush to hold on
to what really matters...</i>

25
00:01:34,605 --> 00:01:35,617
Mike!

26
00:01:35,617 --> 00:01:39,538
<i>Before it's gone forever.</i>

27
00:01:41,286 --> 00:01:50,334
<font color="#3399CC">Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells
http://UKsubtitles.ru</font>

28
00:01:55,101 --> 00:01:57,122
<i>When a loved one dies,</i>

29
00:01:57,122 --> 00:02:01,143
<i>certain decisions
have to be made.</i>

30
00:02:03,097 --> 00:02:05,214
<i>A coffin must be selected.</i>

31
00:02:09,114 --> 00:02:12,109
<i>A headstone must be picked.</i>

32
00:02:14,218 --> 00:02:18,200
<i>Clothes must be chosen.</i>

33
00:02:18,201 --> 00:02:21,180
<i>Preparing a body for burial</i>

34
00:02:21,180 --> 00:02:24,159
<i>is never an easy thing to do...</i>

35
00:02:25,209 --> 00:02:30,197
<i>But unearthing one
can be even harder.</i>

36
00:02:32,218 --> 00:02:36,180
Hey! I think we got something.

37
00:02:45,205 --> 00:02:47,130
What do you think?

38
00:02:48,193 --> 00:02:50,208
You look handsome.

39
00:02:50,209 --> 00:02:52,175
What's that under your shirt?

40
00:02:52,176 --> 00:02:56,155
My little tribute to Mike.

41
00:02:56,155 --> 00:02:59,143
He would've loved that.

44
00:03:05,130 --> 00:03:08,179
And I was too busy
being a big executive,

45
00:03:08,180 --> 00:03:12,101
helping rich people get richer.

46
00:03:12,101 --> 00:03:13,164
That'll be a...

47
00:03:13,165 --> 00:03:16,105
Great eulogy someday, huh?

48
00:03:20,101 --> 00:03:21,891
Is this about you wanting
to quit your job again

49
00:03:21,957 --> 00:03:23,820
so you can be
an underpaid counselor?

50
00:03:23,915 --> 00:03:25,993
I'm never gonna be able to get
you to understand this, am I?

51
00:03:26,155 --> 00:03:28,114
What a difference
it would make in my life

52
00:03:28,115 --> 00:03:30,022
if I felt like
I was helping people.

53
00:03:30,066 --> 00:03:32,162
You're right. I'm never gonna
understand it, and I also

54
00:03:32,162 --> 00:03:34,230
don't understand why we have
to talk about this today.

55
00:03:34,298 --> 00:03:35,669
Because my best friend is dead,

56
00:03:36,582 --> 00:03:38,070
and he died trying
to help people,

57
00:03:38,102 --> 00:03:40,368
so if you ask me,
it kind of seems like

58
00:03:40,462 --> 00:03:43,437
the perfect day
to talk about it.

59
00:03:46,231 --> 00:03:49,189
This one?

60
00:03:49,190 --> 00:03:50,260
Sure.

61
00:03:50,260 --> 00:03:54,173
Um, shoes?

62
00:03:55,198 --> 00:03:56,256
You pick.

63
00:04:01,754 --> 00:04:02,667
Hi, Reverend.

64
00:04:02,741 --> 00:04:04,711
Hello, Julie.

65
00:04:06,157 --> 00:04:08,157
Susan.

66
00:04:09,993 --> 00:04:11,089
I, um, wanted to show you

67
00:04:11,090 --> 00:04:14,084
a... rough draft
of Mike's funeral service.

68
00:04:14,085 --> 00:04:16,030
It's what we discussed...

69
00:04:16,031 --> 00:04:18,081
a standard
episcopalian ceremony.

70
00:04:18,081 --> 00:04:21,085
I'm sure it'll be fine.

71
00:04:26,031 --> 00:04:30,096
Um, just wanted to see
if you'd like to add anything

72
00:04:30,097 --> 00:04:33,001
to make it
a little more personal.

73
00:04:33,622 --> 00:04:34,718
Readings, for example.

74
00:04:34,719 --> 00:04:36,722
Did he have any favorite poems?

75
00:04:36,722 --> 00:04:38,722
Any favorite writers?

76
00:04:40,660 --> 00:04:45,680
Mike really wasn't
much of a reader.

77
00:04:45,681 --> 00:04:47,643
That's fine.

78
00:04:47,643 --> 00:04:51,685
Were you planning on saying
something during the service?

79
00:04:53,631 --> 00:04:56,643
Like what, "I wish someone
hadn't murdered my husband"?

80
00:04:57,726 --> 00:04:59,631
Mom...

81
00:05:01,626 --> 00:05:02,697
He's just trying to help.

82
00:05:02,698 --> 00:05:05,671
I know. I'm sorry.

83
00:05:05,672 --> 00:05:07,705
I just, uh...

84
00:05:07,706 --> 00:05:12,668
I don't know what I would say
that would be enough.

85
00:05:12,668 --> 00:05:17,639
I don't know how to tell people
what kind of man Mike was...

86
00:05:19,631 --> 00:05:22,713
what kind of father and husband
and friend he was.

87
00:05:22,714 --> 00:05:24,734
I just...

88
00:05:24,735 --> 00:05:27,635
never thought I would
have to sum up his life

89
00:05:27,635 --> 00:05:31,647
before he was...
done living it.

90
00:05:38,647 --> 00:05:40,731
It's going to be okay.

91
00:05:43,693 --> 00:05:45,642
Please, Reverend,

92
00:05:45,643 --> 00:05:48,684
if there's one thing that I know
for sure at this moment,

93
00:05:48,685 --> 00:05:50,718
is that...

94
00:05:50,718 --> 00:05:53,668
bothing is ever
going to be okay again.

95
00:06:10,161 --> 00:06:11,170
Hey.

96
00:06:11,170 --> 00:06:12,245
Hey.

97
00:06:14,157 --> 00:06:15,241
How's Susan holding up?

98
00:06:15,242 --> 00:06:18,261
She'll be really glad you came.

99
00:06:19,002 --> 00:06:20,957
I caught the first flight
after you called me.

100
00:06:20,958 --> 00:06:22,977
I'm just, uh...

101
00:06:22,978 --> 00:06:24,011
I'm still in shock.

102
00:06:24,098 --> 00:06:26,165
You know what I keep
thinking about all morning?

103
00:06:28,119 --> 00:06:31,118
Do you remember that time
you, me, Mike, and Susan

104
00:06:31,119 --> 00:06:34,077
rented those cabins
by the lake?

105
00:06:34,147 --> 00:06:35,214
Oh, no. The pontoon boat?

106
00:06:35,215 --> 00:06:38,201
Yeah, the pontoon boat
with the broken gas gauge.

107
00:06:38,201 --> 00:06:39,857
And I kept telling everybody,
"Don't worry.

108
00:06:39,946 --> 00:06:41,991
- They'll come looking for us."
- And then the sun started to go down.

109
00:06:42,081 --> 00:06:43,757
Who knew Mike was
such a great swimmer?

110
00:06:43,788 --> 00:06:46,741
I know. It was half a mile to
shore, at least, in cold water.

111
00:06:46,741 --> 00:06:48,858
He was an amazing guy.

112
00:06:52,754 --> 00:06:54,741
I just can't believe
I'm never gonna see him

113
00:06:54,742 --> 00:06:56,837
walk out of that house again.

114
00:07:05,837 --> 00:07:08,790
I'm sorry.

115
00:07:08,791 --> 00:07:12,765
I've been doing a really good job
keeping it together until now.

116
00:07:13,186 --> 00:07:16,181
I'm so sorry, Lynette.

117
00:07:16,182 --> 00:07:18,195
He really seemed like
a good guy.

118
00:07:18,195 --> 00:07:21,165
Yeah. He was a great guy.

119
00:07:23,195 --> 00:07:25,207
Well, we should
probably get going.

120
00:07:26,219 --> 00:07:28,219
Hey.

121
00:07:28,219 --> 00:07:30,219
You want to ride with us
to the church?

122
00:07:35,232 --> 00:07:38,261
No. I still have to get ready.

123
00:07:38,261 --> 00:07:41,240
So you guys go ahead.

124
00:07:43,253 --> 00:07:45,218
Hey, Bree.

125
00:07:45,219 --> 00:07:48,210
Oh. Please tell me you're not
wearing that to the funeral.

126
00:07:48,211 --> 00:07:50,231
Uh, actually that's why
I was coming over.

127
00:07:50,232 --> 00:07:52,210
I'm not going to the funeral,

128
00:07:52,211 --> 00:07:55,207
so could you please tell Susan
how sorry I am?

129
00:07:55,207 --> 00:07:57,240
You have to be there.
The whole neighborhood is going.

130
00:07:57,241 --> 00:07:59,238
Uh, yeah, and they'll
all be thinking,

131
00:07:59,239 --> 00:08:01,224
"There's the woman
that Mike was protecting

132
00:08:01,225 --> 00:08:03,219
"when he beat up
that loan shark.

133
00:08:03,426 --> 00:08:04,472
She's the reason he's dead."

134
00:08:04,473 --> 00:08:05,484
Renee...

135
00:08:05,485 --> 00:08:07,442
Mike stuck his neck out for me,

136
00:08:07,443 --> 00:08:09,385
and now Susan's a widow,

137
00:08:09,385 --> 00:08:11,443
and a 9-year-old kid has to
grow up without a father.

138
00:08:11,444 --> 00:08:13,484
Look, I know you feel awful
about what happened,

139
00:08:13,485 --> 00:08:16,402
but today is about
honoring Mike.

140
00:08:16,402 --> 00:08:19,393
You do not get to make this
about your guilt.

141
00:08:21,468 --> 00:08:24,381
Why are you looking at me
like that?

142
00:08:24,381 --> 00:08:25,464
Because you're right,

143
00:08:25,465 --> 00:08:27,442
and it's annoying.

144
00:08:27,443 --> 00:08:29,446
Come on.

145
00:08:29,447 --> 00:08:32,371
Go get changed,
and I will save you a seat.

146
00:08:32,372 --> 00:08:34,372
Ugh. I really hate today.

147
00:08:34,372 --> 00:08:36,393
Me, too.

148
00:08:37,402 --> 00:08:38,464
Mrs. Van de Kamp?

149
00:08:38,465 --> 00:08:40,371
Can I help you?

150
00:08:40,372 --> 00:08:43,367
I'm detective Heredia,
Fairview P.D.

151
00:08:43,368 --> 00:08:46,375
Oh. Uh, if this is about
Mike Delfino's murder,

152
00:08:46,376 --> 00:08:48,388
I'd be happy to help, but...

153
00:08:48,389 --> 00:08:50,455
as you can see,
I'm on my way to his funeral.

154
00:08:50,456 --> 00:08:53,405
Actually, we already made
an arrest in that case.

155
00:08:53,406 --> 00:08:54,467
Thank God.

156
00:08:54,468 --> 00:08:56,384
I'm here
on an unrelated matter.

157
00:08:56,385 --> 00:08:58,413
It's a missing persons
investigation.

158
00:08:58,414 --> 00:08:59,467
Oh?

159
00:08:59,468 --> 00:09:02,396
Yeah, I'd like you to come down
and answer some questions.

160
00:09:02,397 --> 00:09:04,401
Now?

161
00:09:04,402 --> 00:09:06,363
Please.

162
00:09:16,811 --> 00:09:19,819
<i>As she arrived
at Mike Delfino's funeral,</i>

163
00:09:19,820 --> 00:09:23,877
<i>Gaby considered what her friend
Susan must be going through.</i>

164
00:09:23,878 --> 00:09:28,877
<i>After all, Mike was
the love of Susan's life,</i>

165
00:09:28,878 --> 00:09:31,857
<i>and that got Gaby thinking</i>

166
00:09:31,857 --> 00:09:34,811
<i>about the love of hers.</i>

167
00:09:40,828 --> 00:09:43,810
So...
what do you think?

168
00:09:43,811 --> 00:09:46,865
A lot of things.

169
00:09:46,866 --> 00:09:48,881
Most of them obscene.

170
00:09:48,882 --> 00:09:50,815
I like it, too!

171
00:09:50,816 --> 00:09:53,886
It's royal wedding with
just a hint of slut.

172
00:09:53,887 --> 00:09:55,819
So... how much?

173
00:09:55,820 --> 00:09:57,857
Who cares?
You get what you pay for,

174
00:09:57,857 --> 00:10:00,824
and you are getting this.

175
00:10:03,820 --> 00:10:06,860
<i>$12,000? Dios mio.</i>

176
00:10:07,470 --> 00:10:10,486
We didn't even pay this much
for our first house.

177
00:10:10,487 --> 00:10:12,486
Yeah, well, how much
can mud and straw cost?

178
00:10:12,775 --> 00:10:13,778
Ladies.

179
00:10:14,396 --> 00:10:16,462
We are having a nice time.

180
00:10:16,494 --> 00:10:18,761
Let's try and keep it that way.

181
00:10:18,840 --> 00:10:21,835
Now be honest, mama.
Don't you like the dress?

182
00:10:23,827 --> 00:10:25,835
Does it only come in white?

183
00:10:26,848 --> 00:10:30,843
I'm just saying,
she's not fooling anybody.

184
00:10:30,844 --> 00:10:32,884
<i>Well, I think
she looks beautiful.</i>

185
00:10:32,885 --> 00:10:34,322
We'll take it.

186
00:10:34,333 --> 00:10:35,386
No.

187
00:10:35,387 --> 00:10:38,383
I will not let you spend money
like that.

188
00:10:38,383 --> 00:10:40,412
Uh, could you give us a moment?

189
00:10:44,375 --> 00:10:47,350
Ugh.

190
00:10:48,111 --> 00:10:49,144
What are you doing?

191
00:10:49,145 --> 00:10:52,139
She loves the dress,
and you keep insulting it.

192
00:10:52,140 --> 00:10:54,168
You just don't get it,
do you, Carlos?

193
00:10:54,169 --> 00:10:56,176
This is only the beginning.

194
00:10:56,177 --> 00:11:00,139
You give in to her with this
dress, she'll bleed you dry.

195
00:11:00,140 --> 00:11:04,105
Trust me.
That woman is a gold digger.

196
00:11:04,106 --> 00:11:06,122
Hit her, Carlos.
Hit her.

197
00:11:06,123 --> 00:11:08,118
Mama,

198
00:11:08,119 --> 00:11:10,105
you know I love you,

199
00:11:10,106 --> 00:11:14,110
but if you say one more
critical thing about Gaby,

200
00:11:14,111 --> 00:11:16,127
don't bother
coming to our wedding.

201
00:11:16,127 --> 00:11:19,156
Understood?

202
00:11:21,123 --> 00:11:23,111
Well, I guess
you've made your choice.

203
00:11:23,112 --> 00:11:26,143
I just hope she realizes
how lucky she is.

204
00:11:26,144 --> 00:11:28,114
Mm. No.

205
00:11:28,115 --> 00:11:30,097
I am the lucky one.

206
00:11:30,098 --> 00:11:32,164
I've never met anyone like her,

207
00:11:32,165 --> 00:11:36,122
and when she smiles at me,
you can't put a price on it.

208
00:11:36,123 --> 00:11:39,139
So I don't care
if I have to work

209
00:11:39,140 --> 00:11:41,156
20 hours a day
to keep her happy.

210
00:11:41,156 --> 00:11:44,136
I'll do it.

211
00:11:46,165 --> 00:11:48,110
Carlos, sweetie,

212
00:11:48,111 --> 00:11:52,093
you know what would really make
this dress pop is...

213
00:11:52,094 --> 00:11:53,143
Oh.

214
00:11:53,144 --> 00:11:55,101
No, I shouldn't.

215
00:11:55,102 --> 00:11:57,111
Tell me. What?

216
00:11:57,111 --> 00:12:01,148
Well, it's probably too much,
but a pair of diamond earrings?

217
00:12:01,148 --> 00:12:03,173
Then our next stop is
a jewelry store.

218
00:12:07,136 --> 00:12:09,152
Mm.

219
00:12:11,575 --> 00:12:15,533
Hey. What are those stains
on the living room rug?

220
00:12:15,533 --> 00:12:17,596
The green is Juanita's puke,
the yellow is Celia's puke,

221
00:12:17,597 --> 00:12:19,562
and the red is my Merlot.

222
00:12:19,562 --> 00:12:21,587
Since when are you drinking wine
in the middle of the afternoon?

223
00:12:21,588 --> 00:12:24,542
Since the girls started puking
in the middle of the afternoon.

224
00:12:25,575 --> 00:12:28,529
Your soup is coming, Juanita!

225
00:12:29,558 --> 00:12:31,546
Yes, Celia, yours, too!

226
00:12:34,533 --> 00:12:36,537
Here. My shift is over.

227
00:12:36,537 --> 00:12:37,902
No. No. No. No. No.
I can't, Gaby. Not tonight.

228
00:12:37,928 --> 00:12:39,385
Why not?
I've been with them

229
00:12:39,461 --> 00:12:41,423
since they got
the stupid stomach flu.

230
00:12:41,524 --> 00:12:43,537
I haven't slept in four days.
I need a break, Carlos.

231
00:12:43,538 --> 00:12:46,524
Tomorrow morning, ten clients
from Japan are flying in,

232
00:12:46,525 --> 00:12:49,504
and in order for me
to win their giant account,

233
00:12:49,504 --> 00:12:50,456
I have to wow them with

234
00:12:50,536 --> 00:12:52,764
a PowerPoint presentation that
I have not even started yet.

235
00:12:52,764 --> 00:12:55,720
All I hear is "blahbety-blah.
Japan. Blahbety blah."

236
00:12:55,721 --> 00:12:57,762
I need a massage.

237
00:12:57,763 --> 00:13:00,687
Oh, my God. Not again.

238
00:13:00,688 --> 00:13:03,716
<i>Every time a bell rings,
an angel does not get its wings.</i>

239
00:13:03,717 --> 00:13:05,704
A child almost gets hit!

240
00:13:05,705 --> 00:13:07,729
It's just endless.

241
00:13:07,729 --> 00:13:09,709
If something isn't coming out
of their mouths,

242
00:13:09,710 --> 00:13:11,691
it's coming out of their butts.

243
00:13:11,692 --> 00:13:13,688
Every opening is
on full service.

244
00:13:13,688 --> 00:13:15,688
I can't do this anymore.
I'm starting to lose my mind!

245
00:13:15,689 --> 00:13:16,695
Okay.

246
00:13:16,696 --> 00:13:17,733
Okay.

247
00:13:17,734 --> 00:13:20,724
Go get your massage. I will
take care of them tonight.

248
00:13:20,725 --> 00:13:23,691
What about Japan?

249
00:13:23,692 --> 00:13:25,734
This is more important.

250
00:13:25,734 --> 00:13:28,729
I told you I would
always take care of you.

251
00:13:29,738 --> 00:13:32,721
Go. Go get your massage.

252
00:13:32,721 --> 00:13:36,721
Hey, girls! Daddy's home!
I got your soup!

253
00:13:38,709 --> 00:13:40,691
Surprise taco visit.

254
00:13:40,692 --> 00:13:42,754
Don't get too
excited. That's not a euphemism.

255
00:13:42,755 --> 00:13:46,184
Hey, babe, I'm kind of
in the middle of something.

256
00:13:46,214 --> 00:13:48,212
What are you in the middle of?
Obviously not shaving

257
00:13:48,213 --> 00:13:49,995
or putting on deodorant.
You look like a terrorist.

258
00:13:50,066 --> 00:13:51,932
Can you please
just come back later?

259
00:13:51,932 --> 00:13:53,930
Okay. I mean,

260
00:13:53,931 --> 00:13:56,890
I thought it'd be nice to have
lunch together, but fine.

261
00:13:56,890 --> 00:13:58,931
I'll just leave these for you.

262
00:14:00,641 --> 00:14:01,665
Mike?

263
00:14:01,666 --> 00:14:04,640
Hey, Gaby.

264
00:14:04,641 --> 00:14:06,661
So Mike gets to come visit,
but not me?

265
00:14:06,662 --> 00:14:09,653
Mike is just being a friend.
He gets what I'm going through.

266
00:14:09,653 --> 00:14:11,601
Ah, I did my own little stint
in rehab.

267
00:14:11,602 --> 00:14:12,653
I know how hard this can be.

268
00:14:12,654 --> 00:14:15,657
Right. What do I know?
I'm only his wife.

269
00:14:20,628 --> 00:14:23,635
Gaby. Gaby, wait.

270
00:14:23,636 --> 00:14:26,585
He's a little on edge right now.
Cut him some slack.

271
00:14:26,586 --> 00:14:28,602
You think I came here
to give him a hard time?

272
00:14:28,603 --> 00:14:29,907
I just want to be here for him.

273
00:14:29,948 --> 00:14:31,913
Yeah, but you being here
just reminds him

274
00:14:31,914 --> 00:14:34,300
how he's messing everything up.
He feels like he's failing you.

275
00:14:34,337 --> 00:14:37,344
- Oh, that's ridiculous.
- Why do you think he's pushing
you away?

276
00:14:37,957 --> 00:14:39,972
He can't stand
you seeing him like this,

277
00:14:39,973 --> 00:14:42,526
and frankly, I think
he's a little scared.

278
00:14:42,557 --> 00:14:43,627
Of what?

279
00:14:43,628 --> 00:14:46,569
He's always provided for you,

280
00:14:46,570 --> 00:14:48,574
and if you think
he can't do that anymore,

281
00:14:48,574 --> 00:14:50,557
he's afraid
you might leave him.

282
00:14:57,566 --> 00:15:00,574
Mike was a good man...

283
00:15:02,557 --> 00:15:03,624
and so are you.

284
00:15:05,566 --> 00:15:08,549
You should quit your job.

285
00:15:08,549 --> 00:15:09,570
What? But you said that...

286
00:15:09,571 --> 00:15:11,252
I was wrong.

287
00:15:11,351 --> 00:15:13,358
If being a counselor's
gonna make you happy,

288
00:15:13,359 --> 00:15:15,367
then that's what you should do.

289
00:15:24,474 --> 00:15:26,428
<i>As Lynette looked
at a wedding photo</i>

290
00:15:26,897 --> 00:15:28,929
<i>of Susan and Mike,</i>

291
00:15:28,930 --> 00:15:32,909
<i>she thought about the tragic
end of their marriage,</i>

292
00:15:32,909 --> 00:15:37,909
<i>and that started her thinking
about the beginning of her own.</i>

293
00:15:38,953 --> 00:15:39,961
Oh, I got this.

294
00:15:39,962 --> 00:15:41,970
No. No. No. No. No.
I got it.

295
00:15:41,970 --> 00:15:42,995
Why? 'Cause you're the guy?

296
00:15:42,996 --> 00:15:46,010
No, because I asked you out.
It's only fair.

297
00:15:46,011 --> 00:15:48,006
Let me get it.

298
00:15:48,007 --> 00:15:50,010
No. Next time.

299
00:15:50,011 --> 00:15:52,036
Next time?

300
00:15:52,036 --> 00:15:54,041
You're asking me out
on a second date?

301
00:15:56,965 --> 00:15:58,040
Abso-tively.

302
00:15:58,041 --> 00:16:00,953
Okay, but you should know
I have a 3-date rule

303
00:16:00,953 --> 00:16:03,020
before I even consider
sleeping with someone.

304
00:16:04,957 --> 00:16:07,969
For the record, I wasn't,
uh, expecting anything.

305
00:16:07,970 --> 00:16:10,964
That said, if you take me out
for coffee now,

306
00:16:10,965 --> 00:16:13,964
<i>I would be willing to consider
that a second date.</i>

307
00:16:13,965 --> 00:16:15,964
And what if after that,
I offered you

308
00:16:15,965 --> 00:16:18,974
half the candy bar
I have in my glove compartment?

309
00:16:18,974 --> 00:16:21,957
Would that count
as a third date?

310
00:16:22,974 --> 00:16:25,010
Let's have the coffee first

311
00:16:25,011 --> 00:16:27,040
and see how it goes, shall we?

312
00:16:27,041 --> 00:16:30,031
Let's get out of here.

313
00:16:30,032 --> 00:16:34,006
So do we need
to tell H.R. about this?

314
00:16:34,007 --> 00:16:35,990
Why would we?

315
00:16:35,991 --> 00:16:37,960
Well, I think they want to know

316
00:16:37,961 --> 00:16:39,974
when employees get
in a relationship.

317
00:16:39,974 --> 00:16:42,003
Tom, we don't have to do
the whole relationship thing.

318
00:16:42,004 --> 00:16:44,002
I am not one of those girls

319
00:16:44,003 --> 00:16:47,031
looking for a ring and kids
and a house in the suburbs.

320
00:16:47,032 --> 00:16:50,019
Although I am kind of partial
to white picket fences.

321
00:16:50,020 --> 00:16:52,024
You don't think
there's anybody out there

322
00:16:52,024 --> 00:16:54,015
who can
make you change your mind?

323
00:16:54,016 --> 00:16:55,994
Not for the next seven years.

324
00:16:55,995 --> 00:16:59,020
I have this whole plan
where I become Vice President.

325
00:16:59,020 --> 00:17:01,961
Of the United States?

326
00:17:03,036 --> 00:17:06,049
I meant the company,
but we'll see.

327
00:17:10,965 --> 00:17:12,995
Okay. Can I look now?
My back is aching,

328
00:17:12,995 --> 00:17:15,986
my ankles are swollen, and your
hands smell like cheese.

329
00:17:17,965 --> 00:17:19,019
Ta-da!

330
00:17:19,020 --> 00:17:21,960
What is this?

331
00:17:21,961 --> 00:17:23,977
It's your dream house.

332
00:17:23,978 --> 00:17:25,985
Someone already bought it.

333
00:17:25,986 --> 00:17:29,002
Yeah, I did, for you.

334
00:17:29,003 --> 00:17:30,015
Ow!

335
00:17:30,015 --> 00:17:31,026
What the hell's wrong with you?

336
00:17:31,027 --> 00:17:32,974
You don't just buy
someone a house.

337
00:17:32,975 --> 00:17:35,048
The exception to the rule
being dream houses.

338
00:17:35,049 --> 00:17:37,957
No, you still
should've consulted me.

339
00:17:37,957 --> 00:17:40,001
This is a decision we're
supposed to make together

340
00:17:40,043 --> 00:17:40,976
- and...
- Ow!

341
00:17:41,037 --> 00:17:42,982
Oh, cramp. Oh, my foot.

342
00:17:42,982 --> 00:17:44,024
- Here. Sit down.
- Okay.

343
00:17:44,025 --> 00:17:45,969
Sit down.

344
00:17:45,970 --> 00:17:46,982
Here.

345
00:17:46,982 --> 00:17:48,961
- Where is it? Right there?
- Right there. Right there.

346
00:17:50,024 --> 00:17:51,969
Come on.

347
00:17:51,970 --> 00:17:54,964
Admit it.
This is kind of nice.

348
00:17:54,965 --> 00:17:56,960
Yeah, it's nice,

349
00:17:56,961 --> 00:17:58,960
but...

350
00:17:58,961 --> 00:18:00,960
I have certain things
I want in a home.

351
00:18:00,961 --> 00:18:03,952
I know. Like a-a tree house
for the twins to play in.

352
00:18:03,953 --> 00:18:05,965
There's the perfect tree
for it.

353
00:18:05,965 --> 00:18:06,993
And an herb garden...

354
00:18:06,994 --> 00:18:09,049
there's a great spot
on the other side of the house.

355
00:18:09,050 --> 00:18:11,974
And of course,

356
00:18:11,974 --> 00:18:14,982
your white picket fence, just
like you always dreamed about.

357
00:18:16,032 --> 00:18:19,981
Wait. I never said anything
about a white picket fence.

358
00:18:19,982 --> 00:18:21,991
Sure, you did.
On our first date.

359
00:18:21,991 --> 00:18:23,974
You said you were a sucker
for a white picket fence.

360
00:18:23,975 --> 00:18:26,002
There's no way I said that
on our first date.

361
00:18:26,003 --> 00:18:28,985
You did. I remember,
because as soon as you said it,

362
00:18:28,986 --> 00:18:31,952
I got this image of us
sitting on our porch,

363
00:18:31,953 --> 00:18:34,049
watching our kids play
while we drink lemonade

364
00:18:34,049 --> 00:18:36,961
and look out over
our white picket fence.

365
00:18:39,961 --> 00:18:41,970
Yeah, this does
seem like a nice place.

366
00:18:44,045 --> 00:18:46,006
I'm sorry
I did this without you,

367
00:18:46,007 --> 00:18:48,045
but I knew,

368
00:18:48,045 --> 00:18:50,986
when I saw this house,
that you would love it.

369
00:18:52,049 --> 00:18:54,991
Because I know you
better than anyone.

370
00:18:57,974 --> 00:18:58,973
Mm.

371
00:18:58,974 --> 00:18:59,952
Mm.

372
00:18:59,953 --> 00:19:01,049
Mm.

373
00:19:01,049 --> 00:19:02,957
Ow!

374
00:19:09,957 --> 00:19:12,044
- Here. These are yours, too.
- Ah.

375
00:19:12,045 --> 00:19:15,040
Thanks. Um, do you mind if I
take the portable CD player?

376
00:19:15,041 --> 00:19:16,956
The one I use
while I'm cooking?

377
00:19:16,957 --> 00:19:18,969
How else
am I gonna play my CDs?

378
00:19:18,970 --> 00:19:21,011
Yeah. Sure. Take it.

379
00:19:21,011 --> 00:19:22,953
Okay. Thanks.

380
00:19:26,974 --> 00:19:28,952
How you doing?

381
00:19:28,953 --> 00:19:31,002
Great. It's all the fun
of a garage sale

382
00:19:31,003 --> 00:19:32,973
without making any money

383
00:19:32,974 --> 00:19:35,985
and only getting rid
of stuff you really like.

384
00:19:35,986 --> 00:19:37,952
Why aren't you fighting harder?

385
00:19:37,953 --> 00:19:39,956
It's just a CD player.

386
00:19:39,957 --> 00:19:41,969
I'm talking
about your marriage.

387
00:19:41,970 --> 00:19:44,014
Lynette, you know me.

388
00:19:44,015 --> 00:19:46,952
I hate talking about this stuff,
but everybody on the street

389
00:19:46,953 --> 00:19:49,960
knows you and tom are
supposed to be together.

390
00:19:49,961 --> 00:19:51,974
I don't know.

391
00:19:51,974 --> 00:19:53,965
At this point,
there's so many bad feelings,

392
00:19:53,966 --> 00:19:55,978
I think time apart
will help us.

393
00:19:55,978 --> 00:19:58,015
It won't.

394
00:20:00,991 --> 00:20:02,955
I've been through this.
All right, I know how it goes.

395
00:20:03,021 --> 00:20:04,285
Each of you waiting
for the other one

396
00:20:04,285 --> 00:20:06,694
to admit they were wrong,
beg to be taken back.

397
00:20:06,974 --> 00:20:08,981
The problem is,
the whole time you're waiting,

398
00:20:08,982 --> 00:20:10,981
you're just growing
further apart.

399
00:20:10,982 --> 00:20:12,994
But you and Susan
got back together.

400
00:20:12,995 --> 00:20:15,977
And I kick myself every day
for letting it take so long.

401
00:20:15,978 --> 00:20:18,019
What I'm trying to say is,

402
00:20:18,020 --> 00:20:20,960
somebody's gotta make
the first move.

403
00:20:20,961 --> 00:20:22,952
I can't right now.

404
00:20:22,953 --> 00:20:24,956
I'm too angry.

405
00:20:24,957 --> 00:20:26,969
And one day you won't be.

406
00:20:26,970 --> 00:20:28,974
I hope it's not too late.

407
00:20:28,974 --> 00:20:31,011
For either one of you.

408
00:20:35,961 --> 00:20:38,002
Don't let it bother you, honey.

409
00:20:38,003 --> 00:20:39,003
What?

410
00:20:39,003 --> 00:20:41,024
Tom, showing up
with his girlfriend.

411
00:20:42,961 --> 00:20:44,040
It's fine.

412
00:20:44,041 --> 00:20:46,965
I actually don't think it's
gonna last that much longer.

413
00:20:46,965 --> 00:20:48,049
Yeah? You heard something?

414
00:20:49,978 --> 00:20:52,019
No, I decided something.

415
00:20:56,186 --> 00:20:59,175
<i>Bree Van de Kamp
found herself helpless</i>

416
00:20:59,260 --> 00:21:01,297
<i>in the face of a powerful man.</i>

417
00:21:01,298 --> 00:21:03,872
<i>And this got her thinking</i>

418
00:21:03,876 --> 00:21:07,830
<i>about the ways she'd handled
powerful men before</i>

419
00:21:07,830 --> 00:21:10,834
<i>and how she'd learned to do it.</i>

420
00:21:16,603 --> 00:21:17,636
Bree.

421
00:21:17,637 --> 00:21:19,619
What are you making?

422
00:21:19,620 --> 00:21:21,628
Honey pecan pie.

423
00:21:21,629 --> 00:21:23,602
It's your father's favorite.

424
00:21:23,603 --> 00:21:24,648
Can I help?

425
00:21:24,649 --> 00:21:25,674
Pie's done,

426
00:21:25,674 --> 00:21:29,637
but I can teach you
how to make whipped cream.

427
00:21:32,603 --> 00:21:33,668
Of course
there's so many things

428
00:21:33,669 --> 00:21:35,666
I should probably
teach you first.

429
00:21:35,667 --> 00:21:37,608
Like what?

430
00:21:38,624 --> 00:21:41,661
Like... how to be a woman.

431
00:21:41,662 --> 00:21:46,623
That is the most important
lesson I can pass down.

432
00:21:46,624 --> 00:21:50,648
As the cream thickens, you whip
it a little faster, okay?

433
00:21:50,649 --> 00:21:53,594
Don't I become a woman
just by getting older?

434
00:21:53,595 --> 00:21:54,628
Oh, no, Bree.

435
00:21:54,629 --> 00:21:57,598
There's some things
you're too young to understand,

436
00:21:57,599 --> 00:21:59,619
but...

437
00:21:59,620 --> 00:22:02,640
I think you're old enough
to learn about the mask.

438
00:22:02,641 --> 00:22:04,612
The mask?

439
00:22:04,612 --> 00:22:06,649
It's what my mother called it.
It's the face you wear

440
00:22:06,650 --> 00:22:09,686
when you don't want people
to know what you're feeling.

441
00:22:09,687 --> 00:22:13,602
All well-brought-up women
conceal their emotions.

442
00:22:13,603 --> 00:22:16,657
It's very useful, especially
when dealing with men.

443
00:22:16,658 --> 00:22:17,686
Why?

444
00:22:17,687 --> 00:22:20,686
Well, if a man
knows what you're thinking,

445
00:22:20,687 --> 00:22:22,648
it gives him power over you.

446
00:22:22,649 --> 00:22:25,628
For example,

447
00:22:25,629 --> 00:22:28,602
if a man knows
how much you love him,

448
00:22:28,603 --> 00:22:30,686
he'll take you for granted.
He'll hurt you...

449
00:22:30,687 --> 00:22:33,607
carelessly,

450
00:22:33,608 --> 00:22:35,645
cruelly,

451
00:22:35,645 --> 00:22:36,649
constantly.

452
00:22:39,608 --> 00:22:40,687
Does daddy know
that you love him?

453
00:22:40,688 --> 00:22:43,644
Yes. I have
told him repeatedly

454
00:22:43,645 --> 00:22:45,669
that I cannot live without him.

455
00:22:45,670 --> 00:22:48,623
If you're so upset with him,

456
00:22:48,624 --> 00:22:50,644
why are you making
his favorite pie?

457
00:22:50,645 --> 00:22:52,644
Because after
all of these years,

458
00:22:52,645 --> 00:22:54,678
I've forgotten
how to wear my mask.

459
00:22:54,679 --> 00:22:58,640
So now I must do things
to distract daddy.

460
00:22:58,641 --> 00:23:01,619
Like this pie.

461
00:23:01,620 --> 00:23:04,632
When I bring it out,
he'll be so excited,

462
00:23:04,633 --> 00:23:06,661
he won't notice
the devastation in my eyes.

463
00:23:06,662 --> 00:23:09,637
Devastation?

464
00:23:09,637 --> 00:23:10,681
Mm-hmm. It's an emotion.

465
00:23:10,682 --> 00:23:12,679
The kind you might feel
when your friend calls

466
00:23:12,680 --> 00:23:14,661
to say your husband's LeSabre

467
00:23:14,662 --> 00:23:17,645
was seen in the parking lot
of a certain motel,

468
00:23:17,645 --> 00:23:20,687
next to
his secretary's bonneville.

469
00:23:22,637 --> 00:23:24,649
Practice your mask.

470
00:23:26,591 --> 00:23:27,629
Oh, no.

471
00:23:27,629 --> 00:23:28,662
Honey, that's too much.

472
00:23:28,663 --> 00:23:32,612
All you need is
the hint of a smile.

473
00:23:33,633 --> 00:23:34,652
Perfect.

474
00:23:34,653 --> 00:23:36,623
When an expression like that,

475
00:23:36,624 --> 00:23:39,637
<i>no one will ever know
what you're really thinking.</i>

476
00:23:39,637 --> 00:23:41,683
And I'll have power over men?

477
00:23:43,670 --> 00:23:45,666
God, I hope so.

478
00:24:00,612 --> 00:24:01,687
Why are you angry?

479
00:24:01,688 --> 00:24:04,628
Who says I'm angry?

480
00:24:04,629 --> 00:24:07,648
After all these years,
you don't think I can read you?

481
00:24:07,649 --> 00:24:11,628
Well, if I'm such an open book,
what am I angry about?

482
00:24:11,629 --> 00:24:13,683
So you admit you're angry.

483
00:24:13,683 --> 00:24:15,641
I admit no such thing.

484
00:24:20,683 --> 00:24:23,629
You know...

485
00:24:23,629 --> 00:24:24,666
this thing you're doing...

486
00:24:24,667 --> 00:24:27,640
and what thing would that be?

487
00:24:27,641 --> 00:24:30,636
You put on this plastic face

488
00:24:30,637 --> 00:24:33,628
to keep me in the dark about
what you're really feeling.

489
00:24:33,629 --> 00:24:35,686
A-and I walk around
on eggshells for days,

490
00:24:35,687 --> 00:24:38,661
not knowing which end is up.

491
00:24:38,662 --> 00:24:41,636
Well, maybe I don't feel safe

492
00:24:41,637 --> 00:24:44,636
sharing every single thought
and emotion I have with you.

493
00:24:44,637 --> 00:24:46,633
Hmm.

494
00:24:46,633 --> 00:24:49,633
Well, that's a horrible thing
to say.

495
00:24:51,653 --> 00:24:54,594
Of course you can feel safe
with me.

496
00:24:54,595 --> 00:24:56,670
I'm your husband.

497
00:24:56,670 --> 00:24:58,624
I love you.

498
00:24:59,637 --> 00:25:01,637
Please.

499
00:25:03,666 --> 00:25:06,619
Okay.

500
00:25:06,620 --> 00:25:08,590
After dessert,

501
00:25:08,591 --> 00:25:10,645
you paid a certain...

502
00:25:10,645 --> 00:25:12,662
compliment to Gabrielle.

503
00:25:14,633 --> 00:25:15,658
You gotta be kidding.

504
00:25:15,659 --> 00:25:17,608
It was hurtful.

505
00:25:20,645 --> 00:25:22,594
To who?

506
00:25:22,595 --> 00:25:23,678
To me.

507
00:25:23,679 --> 00:25:27,658
You told her she was the most
gorgeous woman you'd ever met.

508
00:25:27,658 --> 00:25:29,649
- She was a model.
- I don't care.

509
00:25:29,650 --> 00:25:32,686
You don't say that with your
wife standing right next to you.

510
00:25:32,687 --> 00:25:35,629
I'm going to bed.

511
00:25:35,629 --> 00:25:37,645
Now?

512
00:25:39,620 --> 00:25:42,619
You wanted to know
what I was feeling.

513
00:25:42,620 --> 00:25:44,602
I'm feeling...

514
00:25:44,603 --> 00:25:46,624
hurt and humiliated.

515
00:25:46,624 --> 00:25:49,649
And I think you're dumb
to feel those things.

516
00:25:53,653 --> 00:25:55,678
Are you coming to bed?

517
00:25:55,679 --> 00:25:58,683
Or are you just gonna
stay down here and pout?

518
00:25:58,683 --> 00:26:02,649
Actually, I was just
thinking about my mother...

519
00:26:04,629 --> 00:26:06,615
and how insightful she was.

520
00:26:06,616 --> 00:26:08,661
Insightful about what?

521
00:26:08,662 --> 00:26:11,598
I'll be right along.

522
00:26:11,599 --> 00:26:14,645
I just want to, uh...

523
00:26:14,645 --> 00:26:16,637
tidy up first.

524
00:26:18,649 --> 00:26:21,615
Okay.

525
00:26:21,616 --> 00:26:23,641
Oh, and, Rex?

526
00:26:23,641 --> 00:26:27,608
I'll be serving Belgian waffles
for breakfast.

527
00:26:28,641 --> 00:26:31,678
Wow.

528
00:26:31,679 --> 00:26:33,658
They're my favorite.

529
00:26:33,658 --> 00:26:36,595
Mm.

530
00:26:38,674 --> 00:26:40,645
Sorry to keep you waiting.

531
00:26:40,645 --> 00:26:42,637
It's quite all right.

532
00:26:43,645 --> 00:26:45,641
Although I'm still
a little unclear

533
00:26:45,642 --> 00:26:47,682
as to why you brought me here.

534
00:26:47,683 --> 00:26:50,673
Have you ever met a man
by the name of ramon Sanchez?

535
00:26:50,674 --> 00:26:53,628
No, I don't believe I have.

536
00:26:53,629 --> 00:26:54,648
Why?

537
00:26:54,649 --> 00:26:57,598
He disappeared from his home
a few months ago.

538
00:26:57,599 --> 00:26:59,669
And we just got a tip

539
00:26:59,670 --> 00:27:01,633
that he's dead.

540
00:27:01,633 --> 00:27:03,599
Oh, my.

541
00:27:04,603 --> 00:27:06,590
You say you never met him?

542
00:27:06,591 --> 00:27:09,649
Ramon Sanchez. No, that name
doesn't ring a bell.

543
00:27:09,649 --> 00:27:11,612
Well, you see,
because of this tip,

544
00:27:11,613 --> 00:27:15,652
someone out there is accusing
you of killing Mr. Sanchez.

545
00:27:15,653 --> 00:27:18,652
Oh, good heavens.
That's just silly.

546
00:27:18,653 --> 00:27:20,648
And as it happens,

547
00:27:20,649 --> 00:27:24,602
<i>Mr. Sanchez was found
exactly</i>

548
00:27:24,603 --> 00:27:26,615
where the tipster said
he would be.

549
00:27:26,616 --> 00:27:27,673
And was he...

550
00:27:27,674 --> 00:27:29,598
Dead?

551
00:27:29,599 --> 00:27:30,632
Yes, ma'am.

552
00:27:30,633 --> 00:27:33,611
What a shame.

553
00:27:33,612 --> 00:27:36,670
Because you have been identified
as Mr. Sanchez's killer...

554
00:27:36,670 --> 00:27:38,674
you had no choice but to
bring me in for questioning.

555
00:27:38,675 --> 00:27:40,633
I understand.

556
00:27:40,633 --> 00:27:42,603
So I have to ask you...

557
00:27:43,641 --> 00:27:45,624
Did you kill him?

558
00:27:48,591 --> 00:27:50,612
Absolutely not.

559
00:27:55,641 --> 00:27:57,695
I must say,
you are hard to read.

560
00:27:57,695 --> 00:27:59,642
Thank you.
What a lovely compliment.

561
00:27:59,671 --> 00:28:02,662
You think that's a compliment?

562
00:28:02,662 --> 00:28:04,653
I was raised to be composed
at all times.

563
00:28:04,654 --> 00:28:08,590
This is obviously
a very stressful situation...

564
00:28:08,591 --> 00:28:11,640
finding myself accused
of a horrific crime.

565
00:28:11,641 --> 00:28:13,591
And the fact
that you would think

566
00:28:13,591 --> 00:28:14,658
that I'm comporting myself

567
00:28:14,659 --> 00:28:17,640
with a measure of grace
and dignity...

568
00:28:17,641 --> 00:28:20,657
Well, that's a thoughtful thing
to say. You're very sweet.

569
00:28:20,658 --> 00:28:23,591
Now do you have
any other questions?

570
00:28:23,591 --> 00:28:24,645
I hate to rush you,

571
00:28:24,646 --> 00:28:28,598
but I'm late for the funeral
of a very dear friend.

572
00:28:28,599 --> 00:28:30,612
Hmm.

573
00:28:30,612 --> 00:28:32,645
I can't think of a thing.

574
00:28:37,674 --> 00:28:40,623
Well, it was lovely
meeting you,

575
00:28:40,624 --> 00:28:43,662
and I do hope you find out
what happened to Mr. Sanchez.

576
00:28:43,662 --> 00:28:45,645
I'm sure we will.

577
00:28:51,687 --> 00:28:54,611
See? What did I tell you?

578
00:28:54,612 --> 00:28:56,624
She's something all right.

579
00:28:56,624 --> 00:28:59,620
I'm just not sure what we got
by bringing her down here.

580
00:29:02,679 --> 00:29:05,652
We got her fingerprints.

581
00:29:07,815 --> 00:29:09,538
"I am the resurrection and the life..."

582
00:29:09,767 --> 00:29:11,110
<i>As Susan listened</i>

583
00:29:11,202 --> 00:29:14,200
<i>to the kind words the minister
had to say about Mike,</i>

584
00:29:14,201 --> 00:29:17,162
<i>she found herself at a loss.</i>

585
00:29:17,163 --> 00:29:21,159
<i>She knew people wanted
to hear from her,</i>

586
00:29:21,159 --> 00:29:25,209
<i>but she had no idea
what she wanted to say.</i>

587
00:29:27,205 --> 00:29:29,184
I can't believe
you're making me do this.

588
00:29:29,185 --> 00:29:32,175
Oh, wait. I think
what you mean to say is,

589
00:29:32,176 --> 00:29:36,162
"Susan, sweet, wonderful Susan,

590
00:29:36,163 --> 00:29:39,158
"thank you for marrying me
and allowing me the honor

591
00:29:39,159 --> 00:29:43,200
of carrying your beautiful
behind inside our house."

592
00:29:43,201 --> 00:29:45,171
You are so drunk right now.

593
00:29:45,172 --> 00:29:48,150
No, I am not. I'm just...

594
00:29:48,151 --> 00:29:50,204
Oh, I've never been
this happy in my life.

595
00:29:50,205 --> 00:29:52,216
I feel like I could float.

596
00:29:52,217 --> 00:29:54,166
I wish you could.

597
00:29:54,167 --> 00:29:55,166
Aah!

598
00:29:55,167 --> 00:29:57,221
Oh.

599
00:29:57,222 --> 00:30:01,162
Yeah, I'm happy, too.

600
00:30:01,163 --> 00:30:02,208
That's it?

601
00:30:02,209 --> 00:30:04,145
"I'm happy"?

602
00:30:04,146 --> 00:30:06,221
Well, that covers it.

603
00:30:06,222 --> 00:30:10,208
What do you want from me?
I'm not a big... word guy.

604
00:30:10,209 --> 00:30:13,184
Okay. Come on, mister...

605
00:30:13,184 --> 00:30:15,176
Strong and silent.

606
00:30:17,159 --> 00:30:18,154
What?

607
00:30:18,155 --> 00:30:20,167
Write me a poem.

608
00:30:20,167 --> 00:30:22,142
Oh, leave me alone
with this stuff.

609
00:30:22,143 --> 00:30:25,171
It's my wedding night,
and I want a poem.

610
00:30:25,172 --> 00:30:28,171
Come on. Let's go.

611
00:30:28,172 --> 00:30:31,183
All I remember is this thing
from when I was a kid.

612
00:30:31,184 --> 00:30:33,146
I'll take it.

613
00:30:33,146 --> 00:30:35,151
Give me my poem, husband.

614
00:30:38,142 --> 00:30:40,166
I love you once.

615
00:30:40,167 --> 00:30:42,166
I love you twice.

616
00:30:42,167 --> 00:30:44,225
I love you more
than beans and rice.

617
00:30:44,226 --> 00:30:48,155
Oh.

618
00:30:48,155 --> 00:30:51,184
Now that is a poem. Oh.

619
00:30:56,191 --> 00:30:57,868
It's really smart
you guys are doing this.

620
00:30:57,878 --> 00:31:01,831
When people die without a will,
it can be a nightmare.

621
00:31:03,138 --> 00:31:04,163
You okay, honey?

622
00:31:04,164 --> 00:31:06,191
Of course I'm okay.

623
00:31:06,192 --> 00:31:09,154
We're about to talk
about us dying

624
00:31:09,155 --> 00:31:11,162
for the next two days.

625
00:31:11,163 --> 00:31:14,179
If it makes you feel any better,
nobody enjoys this.

626
00:31:14,180 --> 00:31:16,159
I'm shocked to hear that.

627
00:31:16,159 --> 00:31:17,830
You got any cancer pamphlets
in there?

628
00:31:17,887 --> 00:31:19,132
In case we finish early.

629
00:31:19,176 --> 00:31:21,170
Susan, come on.
This is important.

630
00:31:21,171 --> 00:31:23,153
We got the baby coming.
We got the house.

631
00:31:23,154 --> 00:31:25,138
I'm not saying
a will isn't important.

632
00:31:25,139 --> 00:31:28,138
I'm saying
it's a beautiful day.

633
00:31:28,138 --> 00:31:29,209
We should take a walk
or something

634
00:31:29,210 --> 00:31:32,179
and deal with
this dying stuff...

635
00:31:32,180 --> 00:31:35,158
on a nice, dreary, rainy day.

636
00:31:35,159 --> 00:31:38,222
Um, bathroom's right there, Bob.

637
00:31:38,222 --> 00:31:40,155
I don't need
to use the bathroom.

638
00:31:41,167 --> 00:31:44,142
Or maybe I do.

639
00:31:48,155 --> 00:31:50,145
Okay. What is it?

640
00:31:50,146 --> 00:31:53,133
We're jinxing us.

641
00:31:53,134 --> 00:31:56,175
By doing this, we're telling
death, "come on in."

642
00:31:56,176 --> 00:31:59,171
No, it's when you don't do this
that it's a jinx.

643
00:31:59,172 --> 00:32:01,176
Look, I'm a plumber,
and it's always

644
00:32:01,176 --> 00:32:03,136
the people that don't have
homeowner's insurance

645
00:32:03,137 --> 00:32:04,213
whose toilets explode.

646
00:32:04,214 --> 00:32:07,145
Is it what they eat?

647
00:32:07,146 --> 00:32:09,162
Missing my point.

648
00:32:09,163 --> 00:32:11,196
No, avoiding your point.

649
00:32:11,196 --> 00:32:12,201
Go wash your hands.

650
00:32:15,151 --> 00:32:16,154
Please?

651
00:32:16,155 --> 00:32:18,175
We'll do it Saturday.
I promise.

652
00:32:18,176 --> 00:32:23,133
Look, I know it's tough,
but indulge me, okay?

653
00:32:23,134 --> 00:32:25,167
Because if something happens,

654
00:32:25,167 --> 00:32:27,151
there's nothing
more important to me

655
00:32:27,152 --> 00:32:29,159
<i>than knowing that you
and you...</i>

656
00:32:30,201 --> 00:32:33,134
are taken care of.

657
00:32:37,167 --> 00:32:38,213
Bob, come on!

658
00:32:38,213 --> 00:32:42,180
We're not paying you
to go to the bathroom.

659
00:32:44,180 --> 00:32:46,200
Oh, this is
what I'm talking about.

660
00:32:46,201 --> 00:32:49,184
None of that kobe beef, arugula,
and goat cheese nonsense.

661
00:32:49,184 --> 00:32:51,159
Give me good old-fashioned
ground beef,

662
00:32:51,160 --> 00:32:54,171
American cheese,
and iceberg lettuce any day.

663
00:32:54,172 --> 00:32:56,163
Well, I am glad you're happy,

664
00:32:56,163 --> 00:32:58,144
but I am not sure
that any burger is

665
00:32:58,145 --> 00:33:00,134
worth a half-hour drive
in the car.

666
00:33:00,135 --> 00:33:02,179
That's just 'cause
you haven't taken a bite yet.

667
00:33:02,180 --> 00:33:07,133
Juanita said Mrs. Van de Kamp's
boyfriend got killed by a car.

668
00:33:07,134 --> 00:33:09,158
Uh, yes.

669
00:33:09,159 --> 00:33:11,133
Yes, he did.

670
00:33:11,134 --> 00:33:12,159
Um...

671
00:33:12,159 --> 00:33:14,020
and it was an accident.

672
00:33:14,045 --> 00:33:15,069
It was very sad.

673
00:33:15,155 --> 00:33:16,479
But you don't have to worry.

674
00:33:16,496 --> 00:33:18,500
As long as we remember
to look both ways

675
00:33:18,599 --> 00:33:21,536
before we cross the street,
that'll never happen to us.

676
00:33:23,201 --> 00:33:25,176
Where do we go when we die?

677
00:33:30,159 --> 00:33:32,217
Well, you know,
we go to heaven.

678
00:33:32,217 --> 00:33:35,163
I know, but does everyone go?

679
00:33:37,184 --> 00:33:40,162
<i>Everyone you know
will go to heaven.</i>

680
00:33:40,163 --> 00:33:44,150
What about animals?

681
00:33:44,151 --> 00:33:46,137
Animals go to heaven, too.

682
00:33:46,138 --> 00:33:48,191
What about bugs?

683
00:33:48,192 --> 00:33:50,229
Bugs are annoying.

684
00:33:50,230 --> 00:33:52,221
We don't want bugs in heaven.

685
00:33:52,222 --> 00:33:55,142
What about the animals
that eat the bugs?

686
00:33:55,142 --> 00:33:56,176
Won't they starve?

687
00:33:58,138 --> 00:33:59,179
You're right.

688
00:33:59,180 --> 00:34:01,154
There are bugs in heaven.

689
00:34:01,155 --> 00:34:03,212
But if all the people
and all the animals

690
00:34:03,213 --> 00:34:06,171
and all the bugs that ever lived
go to heaven,

691
00:34:06,172 --> 00:34:08,162
isn't it super crowded?

692
00:34:08,163 --> 00:34:10,154
No, sweetie.

693
00:34:10,155 --> 00:34:12,162
Heaven is perfect.

694
00:34:12,163 --> 00:34:15,167
How is it perfect?
I mean, what's it like?

695
00:34:15,167 --> 00:34:17,192
You wanna jump in here?

696
00:34:19,205 --> 00:34:22,162
Buddy, this is heaven.

697
00:34:22,163 --> 00:34:24,179
It is?

698
00:34:24,180 --> 00:34:26,154
Sure. Sitting with the people

699
00:34:26,155 --> 00:34:28,226
you love more than
anything in the world,

700
00:34:28,226 --> 00:34:31,184
eating a double cheeseburger
and fries... it's gotta be heaven.

701
00:34:33,134 --> 00:34:35,163
- You know what else is heaven?
- What?

702
00:34:35,163 --> 00:34:36,165
That place we fish.

703
00:34:36,166 --> 00:34:37,180
Near the waterfall?

704
00:34:37,181 --> 00:34:38,217
Yep. Heaven.

705
00:34:38,217 --> 00:34:40,184
And when we watch football
together

706
00:34:40,185 --> 00:34:42,221
and mom brings us
trays of snacks.

707
00:34:42,222 --> 00:34:44,172
That's heaven, too?

708
00:34:44,172 --> 00:34:46,155
If heaven is supposed to be
the happiest place you can be,

709
00:34:46,156 --> 00:34:48,163
don't all those places
sound like it to you?

710
00:34:54,155 --> 00:34:55,196
What are hamburgers
made out of?

711
00:34:55,197 --> 00:34:57,146
'Cause I know they're not ham.

712
00:35:01,226 --> 00:35:03,212
Thank you for coming

713
00:35:03,213 --> 00:35:06,221
to help honor
Mike Delfino's life.

714
00:35:06,222 --> 00:35:10,205
The family invites you
to join them at the cemetery.

715
00:35:10,205 --> 00:35:12,138
Uh...

716
00:35:13,167 --> 00:35:16,133
I changed my mind.

717
00:35:16,134 --> 00:35:17,204
Hi.

718
00:35:17,205 --> 00:35:20,225
I-I wasn't, uh,
planning to say anything

719
00:35:20,226 --> 00:35:24,179
because, uh...

720
00:35:24,180 --> 00:35:28,166
I had absolutely no idea
what to say.

721
00:35:28,167 --> 00:35:32,146
Mike and I never talked about

722
00:35:32,146 --> 00:35:34,159
what he wanted for a funeral.

723
00:35:36,146 --> 00:35:39,200
I think it's because, um...

724
00:35:39,201 --> 00:35:41,176
Well, you know Mike.

725
00:35:41,176 --> 00:35:45,146
He... wasn't really
much of a talker.

726
00:35:46,172 --> 00:35:48,171
Some of you,

727
00:35:48,172 --> 00:35:52,159
as you came by to hug me today,

728
00:35:52,159 --> 00:35:55,163
you said that
he's in a better place.

729
00:35:57,176 --> 00:36:00,171
And you know what? I...

730
00:36:00,172 --> 00:36:03,209
I realize now...

731
00:36:03,209 --> 00:36:05,209
He is.

732
00:36:07,180 --> 00:36:11,163
He... is in a diner...

733
00:36:13,167 --> 00:36:17,155
eating cheeseburgers
with his family...

734
00:36:19,188 --> 00:36:21,217
And he's fishing

735
00:36:21,217 --> 00:36:23,205
at a waterfall...

736
00:36:27,151 --> 00:36:30,171
and he's watching football
with his son,

737
00:36:30,172 --> 00:36:33,171
yelling like a maniac.

738
00:36:33,172 --> 00:36:36,133
So...

739
00:36:36,134 --> 00:36:41,134
Since he has to be in...

740
00:36:41,134 --> 00:36:43,176
all those wonderful places...

741
00:36:47,155 --> 00:36:51,201
I'm going to have to say
good-bye to him now.

742
00:36:58,180 --> 00:37:01,209
Good-bye, Mike.

743
00:37:15,151 --> 00:37:17,191
I love you once.

744
00:37:17,192 --> 00:37:20,179
I love you twice.

745
00:37:20,180 --> 00:37:23,166
Oh.

746
00:37:23,167 --> 00:37:26,133
I love you more
than beans and rice.

747
00:39:53,132 --> 00:39:54,566
You know what?
Mike was right.

748
00:39:54,567 --> 00:39:57,532
This was the best freaking
burger I've ever had in my life.

749
00:39:57,532 --> 00:39:58,566
You got that right.

750
00:40:01,587 --> 00:40:05,499
Susan, you haven't eaten
a thing. Aren't you starving?

751
00:40:06,574 --> 00:40:10,541
0-5-1-6-0-2.

752
00:40:12,499 --> 00:40:14,561
I-I just remembered...

753
00:40:14,561 --> 00:40:16,557
it's Mike's password
for his voice mail.

754
00:40:16,558 --> 00:40:19,506
I have to call
the cell phone company,

755
00:40:19,507 --> 00:40:21,552
or they're gonna charge us
for an extra month.

756
00:40:21,553 --> 00:40:23,537
I can do that for you.

757
00:40:23,537 --> 00:40:25,561
I will call them
first thing tomorrow morning.

758
00:40:30,516 --> 00:40:33,552
M.J. signed... up

759
00:40:33,553 --> 00:40:36,569
for pitching
for little league this year.

760
00:40:36,570 --> 00:40:38,556
Mike was supposed to teach him.

761
00:40:38,557 --> 00:40:41,203
Oh, honey, I'll send Carlos over
to coach him.

762
00:40:41,228 --> 00:40:43,544
I gave him two girls who hate
sports, so he'll be thrilled.

763
00:40:43,588 --> 00:40:46,578
Mike was always
checking the tires on our car

764
00:40:46,578 --> 00:40:48,553
with this thingy.

765
00:40:50,545 --> 00:40:53,502
I don't know
where the thingy is.

766
00:40:53,503 --> 00:40:56,531
I just know it was important
and it kept us safe.

767
00:40:56,532 --> 00:40:59,511
Hey. Hey. Tom's still
taking care of our cars.

768
00:40:59,511 --> 00:41:02,578
I'll just tell him to add yours
to his to-do list from now on.

769
00:41:04,561 --> 00:41:07,506
Oh.

770
00:41:07,507 --> 00:41:10,569
Susan, we are gonna do
everything we can

771
00:41:10,570 --> 00:41:12,515
to hold you up, okay?

772
00:41:12,516 --> 00:41:14,573
Okay.

773
00:41:14,574 --> 00:41:18,569
<i>Yes, as much as death
takes from us,</i>

774
00:41:18,570 --> 00:41:20,591
<i>it also gives.</i>

775
00:41:20,591 --> 00:41:24,561
<i>It teaches us
what's truly important...</i>

776
00:41:26,557 --> 00:41:31,545
<i>like giving back
after a lifetime of taking...</i>

777
00:41:33,557 --> 00:41:35,582
<i>going after something</i>

778
00:41:35,582 --> 00:41:38,574
<i>we never
should have let go of...</i>

779
00:41:43,570 --> 00:41:48,553
<i>or looking back
on what made us who we are.</i>

780
00:41:51,545 --> 00:41:57,498
<i>But sometimes the lessons
learned after a person's death</i>

781
00:41:57,499 --> 00:42:00,399
<i>aren't the ones we expected.</i>

782
00:42:00,413 --> 00:42:01,867
Forensics says
the prints on the mug

783
00:42:01,887 --> 00:42:03,499
match the prints we found
on the dead guy.

784
00:42:03,574 --> 00:42:07,569
Whole time she was dating Chuck,
I never trusted her.

785
00:42:07,570 --> 00:42:09,590
You think we got enough
to arrest her?

786
00:42:09,591 --> 00:42:11,549
Probably.

787
00:42:11,549 --> 00:42:12,595
Let's hold off.

788
00:42:12,596 --> 00:42:16,545
I wanna make sure we get enough
to put this bitch away for good.

789
00:42:16,570 --> 00:42:21,810
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