1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,739
Previously on Desperate
Housewives...
2
00:00:02,442 --> 00:00:04,473
Carlos needed to make a change.
3
00:00:04,474 --> 00:00:08,457
I am miserable at work.
I can't do it anymore.
4
00:00:08,458 --> 00:00:11,042
Orson sent the police
an anonymous tip.
5
00:00:11,104 --> 00:00:12,500
Got a feeling about this.
6
00:00:12,501 --> 00:00:15,001
Enough of a feeling to go
dig up a construction site?
7
00:00:16,138 --> 00:00:18,092
Mike protected Renee...
8
00:00:18,092 --> 00:00:19,171
He is a good man.
9
00:00:19,772 --> 00:00:21,809
But he paid the price.
10
00:00:29,746 --> 00:00:31,783
Every day on Wisteria Lane,
11
00:00:32,523 --> 00:00:36,472
women face their share
of problems...
12
00:00:36,473 --> 00:00:40,648
like a paperboy
who's off the mark...
13
00:00:40,685 --> 00:00:43,735
an appliance
that's out of whack...
14
00:00:45,693 --> 00:00:50,684
or a report card
that's below par.
15
00:00:50,685 --> 00:00:53,675
These everyday problems
can seem like
16
00:00:53,676 --> 00:00:55,734
matters of life and death.
17
00:00:55,735 --> 00:00:58,722
I've told your paperboy
ten times...
18
00:00:58,722 --> 00:01:01,735
the flower bed sprinklers go on
at 6:00 A.M. sharp.
19
00:01:05,730 --> 00:01:07,685
I don't know how you can
call him a repairman
20
00:01:07,686 --> 00:01:09,689
if after he visits,
the thing is not repaired.
21
00:01:11,751 --> 00:01:14,689
And get this, Carlos.
Her math teacher wrote,
22
00:01:14,689 --> 00:01:17,680
"the only thing worse than
her arithmetic is her attitude."
23
00:01:21,516 --> 00:01:25,516
But then something
truly horrible comes along...
24
00:01:27,537 --> 00:01:32,470
and we rush to hold on
to what really matters...
25
00:01:34,756 --> 00:01:35,768
Mike!
26
00:01:35,768 --> 00:01:39,689
Before it's gone forever.
27
00:01:41,437 --> 00:01:50,485
Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells
http://UKsubtitles.ru
Resync by into-the-light
28
00:01:55,252 --> 00:01:57,273
When a loved one dies,
29
00:01:57,273 --> 00:02:01,294
certain decisions
have to be made.
30
00:02:03,248 --> 00:02:05,365
A coffin must be selected.
31
00:02:09,265 --> 00:02:12,260
A headstone must be picked.
32
00:02:14,369 --> 00:02:18,351
Clothes must be chosen.
33
00:02:18,352 --> 00:02:21,331
Preparing a body for burial
34
00:02:21,331 --> 00:02:24,310
is never an easy thing to do...
35
00:02:25,360 --> 00:02:30,348
But unearthing one
can be even harder.
36
00:02:32,369 --> 00:02:36,331
Hey! I think we got something.
37
00:02:45,356 --> 00:02:47,281
What do you think?
38
00:02:48,344 --> 00:02:50,359
You look handsome.
39
00:02:50,360 --> 00:02:52,326
What's that under your shirt?
40
00:02:52,327 --> 00:02:56,306
My little tribute to Mike.
41
00:02:56,306 --> 00:02:59,294
He would've loved that.
44
00:03:05,281 --> 00:03:08,330
And I was too busy
being a big executive,
45
00:03:08,331 --> 00:03:12,252
helping rich people get richer.
46
00:03:12,252 --> 00:03:13,315
That'll be a...
47
00:03:13,316 --> 00:03:16,256
Great eulogy someday, huh?
48
00:03:20,252 --> 00:03:22,042
Is this about you wanting
to quit your job again
49
00:03:22,108 --> 00:03:23,971
so you can be
an underpaid counselor?
50
00:03:24,066 --> 00:03:26,144
I'm never gonna be able to get
you to understand this, am I?
51
00:03:26,306 --> 00:03:28,265
What a difference
it would make in my life
52
00:03:28,266 --> 00:03:30,173
if I felt like
I was helping people.
53
00:03:30,217 --> 00:03:32,313
You're right. I'm never gonna
understand it, and I also
54
00:03:32,313 --> 00:03:34,381
don't understand why we have
to talk about this today.
55
00:03:34,449 --> 00:03:35,820
Because my best friend is dead,
56
00:03:36,733 --> 00:03:38,221
and he died trying
to help people,
57
00:03:38,253 --> 00:03:40,519
so if you ask me,
it kind of seems like
58
00:03:40,613 --> 00:03:43,588
the perfect day
to talk about it.
59
00:03:46,382 --> 00:03:49,340
This one?
60
00:03:49,341 --> 00:03:50,411
Sure.
61
00:03:50,411 --> 00:03:54,324
Um, shoes?
62
00:03:55,349 --> 00:03:56,407
You pick.
63
00:04:01,905 --> 00:04:02,818
Hi, Reverend.
64
00:04:02,892 --> 00:04:04,862
Hello, Julie.
65
00:04:06,308 --> 00:04:08,308
Susan.
66
00:04:10,144 --> 00:04:11,240
I, um, wanted to show you
67
00:04:11,241 --> 00:04:14,235
a... rough draft
of Mike's funeral service.
68
00:04:14,236 --> 00:04:16,181
It's what we discussed...
69
00:04:16,182 --> 00:04:18,232
a standard
episcopalian ceremony.
70
00:04:18,232 --> 00:04:21,236
I'm sure it'll be fine.
71
00:04:26,182 --> 00:04:30,247
Um, just wanted to see
if you'd like to add anything
72
00:04:30,248 --> 00:04:33,152
to make it
a little more personal.
73
00:04:33,773 --> 00:04:34,869
Readings, for example.
74
00:04:34,870 --> 00:04:36,873
Did he have any favorite poems?
75
00:04:36,873 --> 00:04:38,873
Any favorite writers?
76
00:04:40,811 --> 00:04:45,831
Mike really wasn't
much of a reader.
77
00:04:45,832 --> 00:04:47,794
That's fine.
78
00:04:47,794 --> 00:04:51,836
Were you planning on saying
something during the service?
79
00:04:53,782 --> 00:04:56,794
Like what, "I wish someone
hadn't murdered my husband"?
80
00:04:57,877 --> 00:04:59,782
Mom...
81
00:05:01,777 --> 00:05:02,848
He's just trying to help.
82
00:05:02,849 --> 00:05:05,822
I know. I'm sorry.
83
00:05:05,823 --> 00:05:07,856
I just, uh...
84
00:05:07,857 --> 00:05:12,819
I don't know what I would say
that would be enough.
85
00:05:12,819 --> 00:05:17,790
I don't know how to tell people
what kind of man Mike was...
86
00:05:19,782 --> 00:05:22,864
what kind of father and husband
and friend he was.
87
00:05:22,865 --> 00:05:24,885
I just...
88
00:05:24,886 --> 00:05:27,786
never thought I would
have to sum up his life
89
00:05:27,786 --> 00:05:31,798
before he was...
done living it.
90
00:05:38,798 --> 00:05:40,882
It's going to be okay.
91
00:05:43,844 --> 00:05:45,793
Please, Reverend,
92
00:05:45,794 --> 00:05:48,835
if there's one thing that I know
for sure at this moment,
93
00:05:48,836 --> 00:05:50,869
is that...
94
00:05:50,869 --> 00:05:53,819
bothing is ever
going to be okay again.
95
00:06:10,312 --> 00:06:11,321
Hey.
96
00:06:11,321 --> 00:06:12,396
Hey.
97
00:06:14,308 --> 00:06:15,392
How's Susan holding up?
98
00:06:15,393 --> 00:06:18,412
She'll be really glad you came.
99
00:06:19,153 --> 00:06:21,108
I caught the first flight
after you called me.
100
00:06:21,109 --> 00:06:23,128
I'm just, uh...
101
00:06:23,129 --> 00:06:24,162
I'm still in shock.
102
00:06:24,249 --> 00:06:26,316
You know what I keep
thinking about all morning?
103
00:06:28,270 --> 00:06:31,269
Do you remember that time
you, me, Mike, and Susan
104
00:06:31,270 --> 00:06:34,228
rented those cabins
by the lake?
105
00:06:34,298 --> 00:06:35,365
Oh, no. The pontoon boat?
106
00:06:35,366 --> 00:06:38,352
Yeah, the pontoon boat
with the broken gas gauge.
107
00:06:38,352 --> 00:06:40,008
And I kept telling everybody,
"Don't worry.
108
00:06:40,097 --> 00:06:42,142
- They'll come looking for us."
- And then the sun started to go down.
109
00:06:42,232 --> 00:06:43,908
Who knew Mike was
such a great swimmer?
110
00:06:43,939 --> 00:06:46,892
I know. It was half a mile to
shore, at least, in cold water.
111
00:06:46,892 --> 00:06:49,009
He was an amazing guy.
112
00:06:52,905 --> 00:06:54,892
I just can't believe
I'm never gonna see him
113
00:06:54,893 --> 00:06:56,988
walk out of that house again.
114
00:07:05,988 --> 00:07:08,941
I'm sorry.
115
00:07:08,942 --> 00:07:12,916
I've been doing a really good job
keeping it together until now.
116
00:07:13,337 --> 00:07:16,332
I'm so sorry, Lynette.
117
00:07:16,333 --> 00:07:18,346
He really seemed like
a good guy.
118
00:07:18,346 --> 00:07:21,316
Yeah. He was a great guy.
119
00:07:23,346 --> 00:07:25,358
Well, we should
probably get going.
120
00:07:26,370 --> 00:07:28,370
Hey.
121
00:07:28,370 --> 00:07:30,370
You want to ride with us
to the church?
122
00:07:35,383 --> 00:07:38,412
No. I still have to get ready.
123
00:07:38,412 --> 00:07:41,391
So you guys go ahead.
124
00:07:43,404 --> 00:07:45,369
Hey, Bree.
125
00:07:45,370 --> 00:07:48,361
Oh. Please tell me you're not
wearing that to the funeral.
126
00:07:48,362 --> 00:07:50,382
Uh, actually that's why
I was coming over.
127
00:07:50,383 --> 00:07:52,361
I'm not going to the funeral,
128
00:07:52,362 --> 00:07:55,358
so could you please tell Susan
how sorry I am?
129
00:07:55,358 --> 00:07:57,391
You have to be there.
The whole neighborhood is going.
130
00:07:57,392 --> 00:07:59,389
Uh, yeah, and they'll
all be thinking,
131
00:07:59,390 --> 00:08:01,375
"There's the woman
that Mike was protecting
132
00:08:01,376 --> 00:08:03,370
"when he beat up
that loan shark.
133
00:08:03,577 --> 00:08:04,623
She's the reason he's dead."
134
00:08:04,624 --> 00:08:05,635
Renee...
135
00:08:05,636 --> 00:08:07,593
Mike stuck his neck out for me,
136
00:08:07,594 --> 00:08:09,536
and now Susan's a widow,
137
00:08:09,536 --> 00:08:11,594
and a 9-year-old kid has to
grow up without a father.
138
00:08:11,595 --> 00:08:13,635
Look, I know you feel awful
about what happened,
139
00:08:13,636 --> 00:08:16,553
but today is about
honoring Mike.
140
00:08:16,553 --> 00:08:19,544
You do not get to make this
about your guilt.
141
00:08:21,619 --> 00:08:24,532
Why are you looking at me
like that?
142
00:08:24,532 --> 00:08:25,615
Because you're right,
143
00:08:25,616 --> 00:08:27,593
and it's annoying.
144
00:08:27,594 --> 00:08:29,597
Come on.
145
00:08:29,598 --> 00:08:32,522
Go get changed,
and I will save you a seat.
146
00:08:32,523 --> 00:08:34,523
Ugh. I really hate today.
147
00:08:34,523 --> 00:08:36,544
Me, too.
148
00:08:37,553 --> 00:08:38,615
Mrs. Van de Kamp?
149
00:08:38,616 --> 00:08:40,522
Can I help you?
150
00:08:40,523 --> 00:08:43,518
I'm detective Heredia,
Fairview P.D.
151
00:08:43,519 --> 00:08:46,526
Oh. Uh, if this is about
Mike Delfino's murder,
152
00:08:46,527 --> 00:08:48,539
I'd be happy to help, but...
153
00:08:48,540 --> 00:08:50,606
as you can see,
I'm on my way to his funeral.
154
00:08:50,607 --> 00:08:53,556
Actually, we already made
an arrest in that case.
155
00:08:53,557 --> 00:08:54,618
Thank God.
156
00:08:54,619 --> 00:08:56,535
I'm here
on an unrelated matter.
157
00:08:56,536 --> 00:08:58,564
It's a missing persons
investigation.
158
00:08:58,565 --> 00:08:59,618
Oh?
159
00:08:59,619 --> 00:09:02,547
Yeah, I'd like you to come down
and answer some questions.
160
00:09:02,548 --> 00:09:04,552
Now?
161
00:09:04,553 --> 00:09:06,514
Please.
162
00:09:15,662 --> 00:09:18,670
As she arrived
at Mike Delfino's funeral,
163
00:09:18,671 --> 00:09:22,728
Gaby considered what her friend
Susan must be going through.
164
00:09:22,729 --> 00:09:27,728
After all, Mike was
the love of Susan's life,
165
00:09:27,729 --> 00:09:30,708
and that got Gaby thinking
166
00:09:30,708 --> 00:09:33,662
about the love of hers.
167
00:09:39,679 --> 00:09:42,661
So...
what do you think?
168
00:09:42,662 --> 00:09:45,716
A lot of things.
169
00:09:45,717 --> 00:09:47,732
Most of them obscene.
170
00:09:47,733 --> 00:09:49,666
I like it, too!
171
00:09:49,667 --> 00:09:52,737
It's royal wedding with
just a hint of slut.
172
00:09:52,738 --> 00:09:54,670
So... how much?
173
00:09:54,671 --> 00:09:56,708
Who cares?
You get what you pay for,
174
00:09:56,708 --> 00:09:59,675
and you are getting this.
175
00:10:02,671 --> 00:10:05,711
$12,000? Dios mio.
176
00:10:06,321 --> 00:10:09,337
We didn't even pay this much
for our first house.
177
00:10:09,338 --> 00:10:11,337
Yeah, well, how much
can mud and straw cost?
178
00:10:11,626 --> 00:10:12,629
Ladies.
179
00:10:13,247 --> 00:10:15,313
We are having a nice time.
180
00:10:15,345 --> 00:10:17,612
Let's try and keep it that way.
181
00:10:17,691 --> 00:10:20,686
Now be honest, mama.
Don't you like the dress?
182
00:10:22,678 --> 00:10:24,686
Does it only come in white?
183
00:10:25,699 --> 00:10:29,694
I'm just saying,
she's not fooling anybody.
184
00:10:29,695 --> 00:10:31,735
Well, I think
she looks beautiful.
185
00:10:31,736 --> 00:10:33,173
We'll take it.
186
00:10:33,184 --> 00:10:34,237
No.
187
00:10:34,238 --> 00:10:37,234
I will not let you spend money
like that.
188
00:10:37,234 --> 00:10:39,263
Uh, could you give us a moment?
189
00:10:43,226 --> 00:10:46,201
Ugh.
190
00:10:46,962 --> 00:10:47,995
What are you doing?
191
00:10:47,996 --> 00:10:50,990
She loves the dress,
and you keep insulting it.
192
00:10:50,991 --> 00:10:53,019
You just don't get it,
do you, Carlos?
193
00:10:53,020 --> 00:10:55,027
This is only the beginning.
194
00:10:55,028 --> 00:10:58,990
You give in to her with this
dress, she'll bleed you dry.
195
00:10:58,991 --> 00:11:02,956
Trust me.
That woman is a gold digger.
196
00:11:02,957 --> 00:11:04,973
Hit her, Carlos.
Hit her.
197
00:11:04,974 --> 00:11:06,969
Mama,
198
00:11:06,970 --> 00:11:08,956
you know I love you,
199
00:11:08,957 --> 00:11:12,961
but if you say one more
critical thing about Gaby,
200
00:11:12,962 --> 00:11:14,978
don't bother
coming to our wedding.
201
00:11:14,978 --> 00:11:18,007
Understood?
202
00:11:19,974 --> 00:11:21,962
Well, I guess
you've made your choice.
203
00:11:21,963 --> 00:11:24,994
I just hope she realizes
how lucky she is.
204
00:11:24,995 --> 00:11:26,965
Mm. No.
205
00:11:26,966 --> 00:11:28,948
I am the lucky one.
206
00:11:28,949 --> 00:11:31,015
I've never met anyone like her,
207
00:11:31,016 --> 00:11:34,973
and when she smiles at me,
you can't put a price on it.
208
00:11:34,974 --> 00:11:37,990
So I don't care
if I have to work
209
00:11:37,991 --> 00:11:40,007
20 hours a day
to keep her happy.
210
00:11:40,007 --> 00:11:42,987
I'll do it.
211
00:11:45,016 --> 00:11:46,961
Carlos, sweetie,
212
00:11:46,962 --> 00:11:50,944
you know what would really make
this dress pop is...
213
00:11:50,945 --> 00:11:51,994
Oh.
214
00:11:51,995 --> 00:11:53,952
No, I shouldn't.
215
00:11:53,953 --> 00:11:55,962
Tell me. What?
216
00:11:55,962 --> 00:11:59,999
Well, it's probably too much,
but a pair of diamond earrings?
217
00:11:59,999 --> 00:12:02,024
Then our next stop is
a jewelry store.
218
00:12:05,987 --> 00:12:08,003
Mm.
219
00:12:11,016 --> 00:12:14,974
Hey. What are those stains
on the living room rug?
220
00:12:14,974 --> 00:12:17,037
The green is Juanita's puke,
the yellow is Celia's puke,
221
00:12:17,038 --> 00:12:19,003
and the red is my Merlot.
222
00:12:19,003 --> 00:12:21,028
Since when are you drinking wine
in the middle of the afternoon?
223
00:12:21,029 --> 00:12:23,983
Since the girls started puking
in the middle of the afternoon.
224
00:12:25,016 --> 00:12:27,970
Your soup is coming, Juanita!
225
00:12:28,999 --> 00:12:30,987
Yes, Celia, yours, too!
226
00:12:33,974 --> 00:12:35,978
Here. My shift is over.
227
00:12:35,978 --> 00:12:37,343
No. No. No. No. No.
I can't, Gaby. Not tonight.
228
00:12:37,369 --> 00:12:38,826
Why not?
I've been with them
229
00:12:38,902 --> 00:12:40,864
since they got
the stupid stomach flu.
230
00:12:40,965 --> 00:12:42,978
I haven't slept in four days.
I need a break, Carlos.
231
00:12:42,979 --> 00:12:45,965
Tomorrow morning, ten clients
from Japan are flying in,
232
00:12:45,966 --> 00:12:48,945
and in order for me
to win their giant account,
233
00:12:48,945 --> 00:12:49,897
I have to wow them with
234
00:12:49,977 --> 00:12:52,205
a PowerPoint presentation that
I have not even started yet.
235
00:12:52,205 --> 00:12:55,161
All I hear is "blahbety-blah.
Japan. Blahbety blah."
236
00:12:55,162 --> 00:12:57,203
I need a massage.
237
00:12:57,204 --> 00:13:00,128
Oh, my God. Not again.
238
00:13:00,129 --> 00:13:03,157
Every time a bell rings,
an angel does not get its wings.
239
00:13:03,158 --> 00:13:05,145
A child almost gets hit!
240
00:13:05,146 --> 00:13:07,170
It's just endless.
241
00:13:07,170 --> 00:13:09,150
If something isn't coming out
of their mouths,
242
00:13:09,151 --> 00:13:11,132
it's coming out of their butts.
243
00:13:11,133 --> 00:13:13,129
Every opening is
on full service.
244
00:13:13,129 --> 00:13:15,129
I can't do this anymore.
I'm starting to lose my mind!
245
00:13:15,130 --> 00:13:16,136
Okay.
246
00:13:16,137 --> 00:13:17,174
Okay.
247
00:13:17,175 --> 00:13:20,165
Go get your massage. I will
take care of them tonight.
248
00:13:20,166 --> 00:13:23,132
What about Japan?
249
00:13:23,133 --> 00:13:25,175
This is more important.
250
00:13:25,175 --> 00:13:28,170
I told you I would
always take care of you.
251
00:13:29,179 --> 00:13:32,162
Go. Go get your massage.
252
00:13:32,162 --> 00:13:36,162
Hey, girls! Daddy's home!
I got your soup!
253
00:13:38,150 --> 00:13:40,132
Surprise taco visit.
254
00:13:40,133 --> 00:13:42,195
Don't get too
excited. That's not a euphemism.
255
00:13:42,196 --> 00:13:45,625
Hey, babe, I'm kind of
in the middle of something.
256
00:13:45,655 --> 00:13:47,653
What are you in the middle of?
Obviously not shaving
257
00:13:47,654 --> 00:13:49,436
or putting on deodorant.
You look like a terrorist.
258
00:13:49,507 --> 00:13:51,373
Can you please
just come back later?
259
00:13:51,373 --> 00:13:53,371
Okay. I mean,
260
00:13:53,372 --> 00:13:56,331
I thought it'd be nice to have
lunch together, but fine.
261
00:13:56,331 --> 00:13:58,372
I'll just leave these for you.
262
00:14:00,082 --> 00:14:01,106
Mike?
263
00:14:01,107 --> 00:14:04,081
Hey, Gaby.
264
00:14:04,082 --> 00:14:06,102
So Mike gets to come visit,
but not me?
265
00:14:06,103 --> 00:14:09,094
Mike is just being a friend.
He gets what I'm going through.
266
00:14:09,094 --> 00:14:11,042
Ah, I did my own little stint
in rehab.
267
00:14:11,043 --> 00:14:12,094
I know how hard this can be.
268
00:14:12,095 --> 00:14:15,098
Right. What do I know?
I'm only his wife.
269
00:14:20,069 --> 00:14:23,076
Gaby. Gaby, wait.
270
00:14:23,077 --> 00:14:26,026
He's a little on edge right now.
Cut him some slack.
271
00:14:26,027 --> 00:14:28,043
You think I came here
to give him a hard time?
272
00:14:28,044 --> 00:14:29,348
I just want to be here for him.
273
00:14:29,389 --> 00:14:31,354
Yeah, but you being here
just reminds him
274
00:14:31,355 --> 00:14:33,741
how he's messing everything up.
He feels like he's failing you.
275
00:14:33,778 --> 00:14:36,785
- Oh, that's ridiculous.
- Why do you think he's pushing
you away?
276
00:14:37,398 --> 00:14:39,413
He can't stand
you seeing him like this,
277
00:14:39,414 --> 00:14:41,967
and frankly, I think
he's a little scared.
278
00:14:41,998 --> 00:14:43,068
Of what?
279
00:14:43,069 --> 00:14:46,010
He's always provided for you,
280
00:14:46,011 --> 00:14:48,015
and if you think
he can't do that anymore,
281
00:14:48,015 --> 00:14:49,998
he's afraid
you might leave him.
282
00:14:57,007 --> 00:15:00,015
Mike was a good man...
283
00:15:01,998 --> 00:15:03,065
and so are you.
284
00:15:05,007 --> 00:15:07,990
You should quit your job.
285
00:15:07,990 --> 00:15:09,011
What? But you said that...
286
00:15:09,012 --> 00:15:10,693
I was wrong.
287
00:15:10,792 --> 00:15:12,799
If being a counselor's
gonna make you happy,
288
00:15:12,800 --> 00:15:14,808
then that's what you should do.
289
00:15:21,615 --> 00:15:23,569
As Lynette looked
at a wedding photo
290
00:15:24,038 --> 00:15:26,070
of Susan and Mike,
291
00:15:26,071 --> 00:15:30,050
she thought about the tragic
end of their marriage,
292
00:15:30,050 --> 00:15:35,050
and that started her thinking
about the beginning of her own.
293
00:15:38,738 --> 00:15:39,746
Oh, I got this.
294
00:15:39,747 --> 00:15:41,755
No. No. No. No. No.
I got it.
295
00:15:41,755 --> 00:15:42,780
Why? 'Cause you're the guy?
296
00:15:42,781 --> 00:15:45,795
No, because I asked you out.
It's only fair.
297
00:15:45,796 --> 00:15:47,791
Let me get it.
298
00:15:47,792 --> 00:15:49,795
No. Next time.
299
00:15:49,796 --> 00:15:51,821
Next time?
300
00:15:51,821 --> 00:15:53,826
You're asking me out
on a second date?
301
00:15:56,750 --> 00:15:57,825
Abso-tively.
302
00:15:57,826 --> 00:16:00,738
Okay, but you should know
I have a 3-date rule
303
00:16:00,738 --> 00:16:02,805
before I even consider
sleeping with someone.
304
00:16:04,742 --> 00:16:07,754
For the record, I wasn't,
uh, expecting anything.
305
00:16:07,755 --> 00:16:10,749
That said, if you take me out
for coffee now,
306
00:16:10,750 --> 00:16:13,749
I would be willing to consider
that a second date.
307
00:16:13,750 --> 00:16:15,749
And what if after that,
I offered you
308
00:16:15,750 --> 00:16:18,759
half the candy bar
I have in my glove compartment?
309
00:16:18,759 --> 00:16:21,742
Would that count
as a third date?
310
00:16:22,759 --> 00:16:24,795
Let's have the coffee first
311
00:16:24,796 --> 00:16:26,825
and see how it goes, shall we?
312
00:16:26,826 --> 00:16:29,816
Let's get out of here.
313
00:16:29,817 --> 00:16:33,791
So do we need
to tell H.R. about this?
314
00:16:33,792 --> 00:16:35,775
Why would we?
315
00:16:35,776 --> 00:16:37,745
Well, I think they want to know
316
00:16:37,746 --> 00:16:39,759
when employees get
in a relationship.
317
00:16:39,759 --> 00:16:41,788
Tom, we don't have to do
the whole relationship thing.
318
00:16:41,789 --> 00:16:43,787
I am not one of those girls
319
00:16:43,788 --> 00:16:46,816
looking for a ring and kids
and a house in the suburbs.
320
00:16:46,817 --> 00:16:49,804
Although I am kind of partial
to white picket fences.
321
00:16:49,805 --> 00:16:51,809
You don't think
there's anybody out there
322
00:16:51,809 --> 00:16:53,800
who can
make you change your mind?
323
00:16:53,801 --> 00:16:55,779
Not for the next seven years.
324
00:16:55,780 --> 00:16:58,805
I have this whole plan
where I become Vice President.
325
00:16:58,805 --> 00:17:01,746
Of the United States?
326
00:17:02,821 --> 00:17:05,834
I meant the company,
but we'll see.
327
00:17:10,750 --> 00:17:12,780
Okay. Can I look now?
My back is aching,
328
00:17:12,780 --> 00:17:15,771
my ankles are swollen, and your
hands smell like cheese.
329
00:17:17,750 --> 00:17:18,804
Ta-da!
330
00:17:18,805 --> 00:17:21,745
What is this?
331
00:17:21,746 --> 00:17:23,762
It's your dream house.
332
00:17:23,763 --> 00:17:25,770
Someone already bought it.
333
00:17:25,771 --> 00:17:28,787
Yeah, I did, for you.
334
00:17:28,788 --> 00:17:29,800
Ow!
335
00:17:29,800 --> 00:17:30,811
What the hell's wrong with you?
336
00:17:30,812 --> 00:17:32,759
You don't just buy
someone a house.
337
00:17:32,760 --> 00:17:34,833
The exception to the rule
being dream houses.
338
00:17:34,834 --> 00:17:37,742
No, you still
should've consulted me.
339
00:17:37,742 --> 00:17:39,786
This is a decision we're
supposed to make together
340
00:17:39,828 --> 00:17:40,761
- and...
- Ow!
341
00:17:40,822 --> 00:17:42,767
Oh, cramp. Oh, my foot.
342
00:17:42,767 --> 00:17:43,809
- Here. Sit down.
- Okay.
343
00:17:43,810 --> 00:17:45,754
Sit down.
344
00:17:45,755 --> 00:17:46,767
Here.
345
00:17:46,767 --> 00:17:48,746
- Where is it? Right there?
- Right there. Right there.
346
00:17:49,809 --> 00:17:51,754
Come on.
347
00:17:51,755 --> 00:17:54,749
Admit it.
This is kind of nice.
348
00:17:54,750 --> 00:17:56,745
Yeah, it's nice,
349
00:17:56,746 --> 00:17:58,745
but...
350
00:17:58,746 --> 00:18:00,745
I have certain things
I want in a home.
351
00:18:00,746 --> 00:18:03,737
I know. Like a-a tree house
for the twins to play in.
352
00:18:03,738 --> 00:18:05,750
There's the perfect tree
for it.
353
00:18:05,750 --> 00:18:06,778
And an herb garden...
354
00:18:06,779 --> 00:18:08,834
there's a great spot
on the other side of the house.
355
00:18:08,835 --> 00:18:11,759
And of course,
356
00:18:11,759 --> 00:18:14,767
your white picket fence, just
like you always dreamed about.
357
00:18:15,817 --> 00:18:19,766
Wait. I never said anything
about a white picket fence.
358
00:18:19,767 --> 00:18:21,776
Sure, you did.
On our first date.
359
00:18:21,776 --> 00:18:23,759
You said you were a sucker
for a white picket fence.
360
00:18:23,760 --> 00:18:25,787
There's no way I said that
on our first date.
361
00:18:25,788 --> 00:18:28,770
You did. I remember,
because as soon as you said it,
362
00:18:28,771 --> 00:18:31,737
I got this image of us
sitting on our porch,
363
00:18:31,738 --> 00:18:33,834
watching our kids play
while we drink lemonade
364
00:18:33,834 --> 00:18:36,746
and look out over
our white picket fence.
365
00:18:39,746 --> 00:18:41,755
Yeah, this does
seem like a nice place.
366
00:18:43,830 --> 00:18:45,791
I'm sorry
I did this without you,
367
00:18:45,792 --> 00:18:47,830
but I knew,
368
00:18:47,830 --> 00:18:50,771
when I saw this house,
that you would love it.
369
00:18:51,834 --> 00:18:54,776
Because I know you
better than anyone.
370
00:18:57,759 --> 00:18:58,758
Mm.
371
00:18:58,759 --> 00:18:59,737
Mm.
372
00:18:59,738 --> 00:19:00,834
Mm.
373
00:19:00,834 --> 00:19:02,742
Ow!
374
00:19:09,742 --> 00:19:11,829
- Here. These are yours, too.
- Ah.
375
00:19:11,830 --> 00:19:14,825
Thanks. Um, do you mind if I
take the portable CD player?
376
00:19:14,826 --> 00:19:16,741
The one I use
while I'm cooking?
377
00:19:16,742 --> 00:19:18,754
How else
am I gonna play my CDs?
378
00:19:18,755 --> 00:19:20,796
Yeah. Sure. Take it.
379
00:19:20,796 --> 00:19:22,738
Okay. Thanks.
380
00:19:26,759 --> 00:19:28,737
How you doing?
381
00:19:28,738 --> 00:19:30,787
Great. It's all the fun
of a garage sale
382
00:19:30,788 --> 00:19:32,758
without making any money
383
00:19:32,759 --> 00:19:35,770
and only getting rid
of stuff you really like.
384
00:19:35,771 --> 00:19:37,737
Why aren't you fighting harder?
385
00:19:37,738 --> 00:19:39,741
It's just a CD player.
386
00:19:39,742 --> 00:19:41,754
I'm talking
about your marriage.
387
00:19:41,755 --> 00:19:43,799
Lynette, you know me.
388
00:19:43,800 --> 00:19:46,737
I hate talking about this stuff,
but everybody on the street
389
00:19:46,738 --> 00:19:49,745
knows you and tom are
supposed to be together.
390
00:19:49,746 --> 00:19:51,759
I don't know.
391
00:19:51,759 --> 00:19:53,750
At this point,
there's so many bad feelings,
392
00:19:53,751 --> 00:19:55,763
I think time apart
will help us.
393
00:19:55,763 --> 00:19:57,800
It won't.
394
00:20:00,776 --> 00:20:02,740
I've been through this.
All right, I know how it goes.
395
00:20:02,806 --> 00:20:04,070
Each of you waiting
for the other one
396
00:20:04,070 --> 00:20:06,479
to admit they were wrong,
beg to be taken back.
397
00:20:06,759 --> 00:20:08,766
The problem is,
the whole time you're waiting,
398
00:20:08,767 --> 00:20:10,766
you're just growing
further apart.
399
00:20:10,767 --> 00:20:12,779
But you and Susan
got back together.
400
00:20:12,780 --> 00:20:15,762
And I kick myself every day
for letting it take so long.
401
00:20:15,763 --> 00:20:17,804
What I'm trying to say is,
402
00:20:17,805 --> 00:20:20,745
somebody's gotta make
the first move.
403
00:20:20,746 --> 00:20:22,737
I can't right now.
404
00:20:22,738 --> 00:20:24,741
I'm too angry.
405
00:20:24,742 --> 00:20:26,754
And one day you won't be.
406
00:20:26,755 --> 00:20:28,759
I hope it's not too late.
407
00:20:28,759 --> 00:20:30,796
For either one of you.
408
00:20:35,746 --> 00:20:37,787
Don't let it bother you, honey.
409
00:20:37,788 --> 00:20:38,788
What?
410
00:20:38,788 --> 00:20:40,809
Tom, showing up
with his girlfriend.
411
00:20:42,746 --> 00:20:43,825
It's fine.
412
00:20:43,826 --> 00:20:46,750
I actually don't think it's
gonna last that much longer.
413
00:20:46,750 --> 00:20:47,834
Yeah? You heard something?
414
00:20:49,763 --> 00:20:51,804
No, I decided something.
415
00:20:56,035 --> 00:20:59,024
Bree Van de Kamp
found herself helpless
416
00:20:59,109 --> 00:21:01,146
in the face of a powerful man.
417
00:21:01,147 --> 00:21:03,721
And this got her thinking
418
00:21:03,725 --> 00:21:07,679
about the ways she'd handled
powerful men before
419
00:21:07,679 --> 00:21:10,683
and how she'd learned to do it.
420
00:21:16,452 --> 00:21:17,485
Bree.
421
00:21:17,486 --> 00:21:19,468
What are you making?
422
00:21:19,469 --> 00:21:21,477
Honey pecan pie.
423
00:21:21,478 --> 00:21:23,451
It's your father's favorite.
424
00:21:23,452 --> 00:21:24,497
Can I help?
425
00:21:24,498 --> 00:21:25,523
Pie's done,
426
00:21:25,523 --> 00:21:29,486
but I can teach you
how to make whipped cream.
427
00:21:32,452 --> 00:21:33,517
Of course
there's so many things
428
00:21:33,518 --> 00:21:35,515
I should probably
teach you first.
429
00:21:35,516 --> 00:21:37,457
Like what?
430
00:21:38,473 --> 00:21:41,510
Like... how to be a woman.
431
00:21:41,511 --> 00:21:46,472
That is the most important
lesson I can pass down.
432
00:21:46,473 --> 00:21:50,497
As the cream thickens, you whip
it a little faster, okay?
433
00:21:50,498 --> 00:21:53,443
Don't I become a woman
just by getting older?
434
00:21:53,444 --> 00:21:54,477
Oh, no, Bree.
435
00:21:54,478 --> 00:21:57,447
There's some things
you're too young to understand,
436
00:21:57,448 --> 00:21:59,468
but...
437
00:21:59,469 --> 00:22:02,489
I think you're old enough
to learn about the mask.
438
00:22:02,490 --> 00:22:04,461
The mask?
439
00:22:04,461 --> 00:22:06,498
It's what my mother called it.
It's the face you wear
440
00:22:06,499 --> 00:22:09,535
when you don't want people
to know what you're feeling.
441
00:22:09,536 --> 00:22:13,451
All well-brought-up women
conceal their emotions.
442
00:22:13,452 --> 00:22:16,506
It's very useful, especially
when dealing with men.
443
00:22:16,507 --> 00:22:17,535
Why?
444
00:22:17,536 --> 00:22:20,535
Well, if a man
knows what you're thinking,
445
00:22:20,536 --> 00:22:22,497
it gives him power over you.
446
00:22:22,498 --> 00:22:25,477
For example,
447
00:22:25,478 --> 00:22:28,451
if a man knows
how much you love him,
448
00:22:28,452 --> 00:22:30,535
he'll take you for granted.
He'll hurt you...
449
00:22:30,536 --> 00:22:33,456
carelessly,
450
00:22:33,457 --> 00:22:35,494
cruelly,
451
00:22:35,494 --> 00:22:36,498
constantly.
452
00:22:39,457 --> 00:22:40,536
Does daddy know
that you love him?
453
00:22:40,537 --> 00:22:43,493
Yes. I have
told him repeatedly
454
00:22:43,494 --> 00:22:45,518
that I cannot live without him.
455
00:22:45,519 --> 00:22:48,472
If you're so upset with him,
456
00:22:48,473 --> 00:22:50,493
why are you making
his favorite pie?
457
00:22:50,494 --> 00:22:52,493
Because after
all of these years,
458
00:22:52,494 --> 00:22:54,527
I've forgotten
how to wear my mask.
459
00:22:54,528 --> 00:22:58,489
So now I must do things
to distract daddy.
460
00:22:58,490 --> 00:23:01,468
Like this pie.
461
00:23:01,469 --> 00:23:04,481
When I bring it out,
he'll be so excited,
462
00:23:04,482 --> 00:23:06,510
he won't notice
the devastation in my eyes.
463
00:23:06,511 --> 00:23:09,486
Devastation?
464
00:23:09,486 --> 00:23:10,530
Mm-hmm. It's an emotion.
465
00:23:10,531 --> 00:23:12,528
The kind you might feel
when your friend calls
466
00:23:12,529 --> 00:23:14,510
to say your husband's LeSabre
467
00:23:14,511 --> 00:23:17,494
was seen in the parking lot
of a certain motel,
468
00:23:17,494 --> 00:23:20,536
next to
his secretary's bonneville.
469
00:23:22,486 --> 00:23:24,498
Practice your mask.
470
00:23:26,440 --> 00:23:27,478
Oh, no.
471
00:23:27,478 --> 00:23:28,511
Honey, that's too much.
472
00:23:28,512 --> 00:23:32,461
All you need is
the hint of a smile.
473
00:23:33,482 --> 00:23:34,501
Perfect.
474
00:23:34,502 --> 00:23:36,472
When an expression like that,
475
00:23:36,473 --> 00:23:39,486
no one will ever know
what you're really thinking.
476
00:23:39,486 --> 00:23:41,532
And I'll have power over men?
477
00:23:43,519 --> 00:23:45,515
God, I hope so.
478
00:24:00,461 --> 00:24:01,536
Why are you angry?
479
00:24:01,537 --> 00:24:04,477
Who says I'm angry?
480
00:24:04,478 --> 00:24:07,497
After all these years,
you don't think I can read you?
481
00:24:07,498 --> 00:24:11,477
Well, if I'm such an open book,
what am I angry about?
482
00:24:11,478 --> 00:24:13,532
So you admit you're angry.
483
00:24:13,532 --> 00:24:15,490
I admit no such thing.
484
00:24:20,532 --> 00:24:23,478
You know...
485
00:24:23,478 --> 00:24:24,515
this thing you're doing...
486
00:24:24,516 --> 00:24:27,489
and what thing would that be?
487
00:24:27,490 --> 00:24:30,485
You put on this plastic face
488
00:24:30,486 --> 00:24:33,477
to keep me in the dark about
what you're really feeling.
489
00:24:33,478 --> 00:24:35,535
A-and I walk around
on eggshells for days,
490
00:24:35,536 --> 00:24:38,510
not knowing which end is up.
491
00:24:38,511 --> 00:24:41,485
Well, maybe I don't feel safe
492
00:24:41,486 --> 00:24:44,485
sharing every single thought
and emotion I have with you.
493
00:24:44,486 --> 00:24:46,482
Hmm.
494
00:24:46,482 --> 00:24:49,482
Well, that's a horrible thing
to say.
495
00:24:51,502 --> 00:24:54,443
Of course you can feel safe
with me.
496
00:24:54,444 --> 00:24:56,519
I'm your husband.
497
00:24:56,519 --> 00:24:58,473
I love you.
498
00:24:59,486 --> 00:25:01,486
Please.
499
00:25:03,515 --> 00:25:06,468
Okay.
500
00:25:06,469 --> 00:25:08,439
After dessert,
501
00:25:08,440 --> 00:25:10,494
you paid a certain...
502
00:25:10,494 --> 00:25:12,511
compliment to Gabrielle.
503
00:25:14,482 --> 00:25:15,507
You gotta be kidding.
504
00:25:15,508 --> 00:25:17,457
It was hurtful.
505
00:25:20,494 --> 00:25:22,443
To who?
506
00:25:22,444 --> 00:25:23,527
To me.
507
00:25:23,528 --> 00:25:27,507
You told her she was the most
gorgeous woman you'd ever met.
508
00:25:27,507 --> 00:25:29,498
- She was a model.
- I don't care.
509
00:25:29,499 --> 00:25:32,535
You don't say that with your
wife standing right next to you.
510
00:25:32,536 --> 00:25:35,478
I'm going to bed.
511
00:25:35,478 --> 00:25:37,494
Now?
512
00:25:39,469 --> 00:25:42,468
You wanted to know
what I was feeling.
513
00:25:42,469 --> 00:25:44,451
I'm feeling...
514
00:25:44,452 --> 00:25:46,473
hurt and humiliated.
515
00:25:46,473 --> 00:25:49,498
And I think you're dumb
to feel those things.
516
00:25:53,502 --> 00:25:55,527
Are you coming to bed?
517
00:25:55,528 --> 00:25:58,532
Or are you just gonna
stay down here and pout?
518
00:25:58,532 --> 00:26:02,498
Actually, I was just
thinking about my mother...
519
00:26:04,478 --> 00:26:06,464
and how insightful she was.
520
00:26:06,465 --> 00:26:08,510
Insightful about what?
521
00:26:08,511 --> 00:26:11,447
I'll be right along.
522
00:26:11,448 --> 00:26:14,494
I just want to, uh...
523
00:26:14,494 --> 00:26:16,486
tidy up first.
524
00:26:18,498 --> 00:26:21,464
Okay.
525
00:26:21,465 --> 00:26:23,490
Oh, and, Rex?
526
00:26:23,490 --> 00:26:27,457
I'll be serving Belgian waffles
for breakfast.
527
00:26:28,490 --> 00:26:31,527
Wow.
528
00:26:31,528 --> 00:26:33,507
They're my favorite.
529
00:26:33,507 --> 00:26:36,444
Mm.
530
00:26:38,523 --> 00:26:40,494
Sorry to keep you waiting.
531
00:26:40,494 --> 00:26:42,486
It's quite all right.
532
00:26:43,494 --> 00:26:45,490
Although I'm still
a little unclear
533
00:26:45,491 --> 00:26:47,531
as to why you brought me here.
534
00:26:47,532 --> 00:26:50,522
Have you ever met a man
by the name of ramon Sanchez?
535
00:26:50,523 --> 00:26:53,477
No, I don't believe I have.
536
00:26:53,478 --> 00:26:54,497
Why?
537
00:26:54,498 --> 00:26:57,447
He disappeared from his home
a few months ago.
538
00:26:57,448 --> 00:26:59,518
And we just got a tip
539
00:26:59,519 --> 00:27:01,482
that he's dead.
540
00:27:01,482 --> 00:27:03,448
Oh, my.
541
00:27:04,452 --> 00:27:06,439
You say you never met him?
542
00:27:06,440 --> 00:27:09,498
Ramon Sanchez. No, that name
doesn't ring a bell.
543
00:27:09,498 --> 00:27:11,461
Well, you see,
because of this tip,
544
00:27:11,462 --> 00:27:15,501
someone out there is accusing
you of killing Mr. Sanchez.
545
00:27:15,502 --> 00:27:18,501
Oh, good heavens.
That's just silly.
546
00:27:18,502 --> 00:27:20,497
And as it happens,
547
00:27:20,498 --> 00:27:24,451
Mr. Sanchez was found
exactly
548
00:27:24,452 --> 00:27:26,464
where the tipster said
he would be.
549
00:27:26,465 --> 00:27:27,522
And was he...
550
00:27:27,523 --> 00:27:29,447
Dead?
551
00:27:29,448 --> 00:27:30,481
Yes, ma'am.
552
00:27:30,482 --> 00:27:33,460
What a shame.
553
00:27:33,461 --> 00:27:36,519
Because you have been identified
as Mr. Sanchez's killer...
554
00:27:36,519 --> 00:27:38,523
you had no choice but to
bring me in for questioning.
555
00:27:38,524 --> 00:27:40,482
I understand.
556
00:27:40,482 --> 00:27:42,452
So I have to ask you...
557
00:27:43,490 --> 00:27:45,473
Did you kill him?
558
00:27:48,440 --> 00:27:50,461
Absolutely not.
559
00:27:55,490 --> 00:27:57,544
I must say,
you are hard to read.
560
00:27:57,544 --> 00:27:59,491
Thank you.
What a lovely compliment.
561
00:27:59,520 --> 00:28:02,511
You think that's a compliment?
562
00:28:02,511 --> 00:28:04,502
I was raised to be composed
at all times.
563
00:28:04,503 --> 00:28:08,439
This is obviously
a very stressful situation...
564
00:28:08,440 --> 00:28:11,489
finding myself accused
of a horrific crime.
565
00:28:11,490 --> 00:28:13,440
And the fact
that you would think
566
00:28:13,440 --> 00:28:14,507
that I'm comporting myself
567
00:28:14,508 --> 00:28:17,489
with a measure of grace
and dignity...
568
00:28:17,490 --> 00:28:20,506
Well, that's a thoughtful thing
to say. You're very sweet.
569
00:28:20,507 --> 00:28:23,440
Now do you have
any other questions?
570
00:28:23,440 --> 00:28:24,494
I hate to rush you,
571
00:28:24,495 --> 00:28:28,447
but I'm late for the funeral
of a very dear friend.
572
00:28:28,448 --> 00:28:30,461
Hmm.
573
00:28:30,461 --> 00:28:32,494
I can't think of a thing.
574
00:28:37,523 --> 00:28:40,472
Well, it was lovely
meeting you,
575
00:28:40,473 --> 00:28:43,511
and I do hope you find out
what happened to Mr. Sanchez.
576
00:28:43,511 --> 00:28:45,494
I'm sure we will.
577
00:28:51,536 --> 00:28:54,460
See? What did I tell you?
578
00:28:54,461 --> 00:28:56,473
She's something all right.
579
00:28:56,473 --> 00:28:59,469
I'm just not sure what we got
by bringing her down here.
580
00:29:02,528 --> 00:29:05,501
We got her fingerprints.
581
00:29:07,348 --> 00:29:09,071
"I am the resurrection and the life..."
582
00:29:09,300 --> 00:29:10,643
As Susan listened
583
00:29:10,735 --> 00:29:13,733
to the kind words the minister
had to say about Mike,
584
00:29:13,734 --> 00:29:16,695
she found herself at a loss.
585
00:29:16,696 --> 00:29:20,692
She knew people wanted
to hear from her,
586
00:29:20,692 --> 00:29:24,742
but she had no idea
what she wanted to say.
587
00:29:26,738 --> 00:29:28,717
I can't believe
you're making me do this.
588
00:29:28,718 --> 00:29:31,708
Oh, wait. I think
what you mean to say is,
589
00:29:31,709 --> 00:29:35,695
"Susan, sweet, wonderful Susan,
590
00:29:35,696 --> 00:29:38,691
"thank you for marrying me
and allowing me the honor
591
00:29:38,692 --> 00:29:42,733
of carrying your beautiful
behind inside our house."
592
00:29:42,734 --> 00:29:44,704
You are so drunk right now.
593
00:29:44,705 --> 00:29:47,683
No, I am not. I'm just...
594
00:29:47,684 --> 00:29:49,737
Oh, I've never been
this happy in my life.
595
00:29:49,738 --> 00:29:51,749
I feel like I could float.
596
00:29:51,750 --> 00:29:53,699
I wish you could.
597
00:29:53,700 --> 00:29:54,699
Aah!
598
00:29:54,700 --> 00:29:56,754
Oh.
599
00:29:56,755 --> 00:30:00,695
Yeah, I'm happy, too.
600
00:30:00,696 --> 00:30:01,741
That's it?
601
00:30:01,742 --> 00:30:03,678
"I'm happy"?
602
00:30:03,679 --> 00:30:05,754
Well, that covers it.
603
00:30:05,755 --> 00:30:09,741
What do you want from me?
I'm not a big... word guy.
604
00:30:09,742 --> 00:30:12,717
Okay. Come on, mister...
605
00:30:12,717 --> 00:30:14,709
Strong and silent.
606
00:30:16,692 --> 00:30:17,687
What?
607
00:30:17,688 --> 00:30:19,700
Write me a poem.
608
00:30:19,700 --> 00:30:21,675
Oh, leave me alone
with this stuff.
609
00:30:21,676 --> 00:30:24,704
It's my wedding night,
and I want a poem.
610
00:30:24,705 --> 00:30:27,704
Come on. Let's go.
611
00:30:27,705 --> 00:30:30,716
All I remember is this thing
from when I was a kid.
612
00:30:30,717 --> 00:30:32,679
I'll take it.
613
00:30:32,679 --> 00:30:34,684
Give me my poem, husband.
614
00:30:37,675 --> 00:30:39,699
I love you once.
615
00:30:39,700 --> 00:30:41,699
I love you twice.
616
00:30:41,700 --> 00:30:43,758
I love you more
than beans and rice.
617
00:30:43,759 --> 00:30:47,688
Oh.
618
00:30:47,688 --> 00:30:50,717
Now that is a poem. Oh.
619
00:30:55,724 --> 00:30:57,401
It's really smart
you guys are doing this.
620
00:30:57,411 --> 00:31:01,364
When people die without a will,
it can be a nightmare.
621
00:31:02,671 --> 00:31:03,696
You okay, honey?
622
00:31:03,697 --> 00:31:05,724
Of course I'm okay.
623
00:31:05,725 --> 00:31:08,687
We're about to talk
about us dying
624
00:31:08,688 --> 00:31:10,695
for the next two days.
625
00:31:10,696 --> 00:31:13,712
If it makes you feel any better,
nobody enjoys this.
626
00:31:13,713 --> 00:31:15,692
I'm shocked to hear that.
627
00:31:15,692 --> 00:31:17,363
You got any cancer pamphlets
in there?
628
00:31:17,420 --> 00:31:18,665
In case we finish early.
629
00:31:18,709 --> 00:31:20,703
Susan, come on.
This is important.
630
00:31:20,704 --> 00:31:22,686
We got the baby coming.
We got the house.
631
00:31:22,687 --> 00:31:24,671
I'm not saying
a will isn't important.
632
00:31:24,672 --> 00:31:27,671
I'm saying
it's a beautiful day.
633
00:31:27,671 --> 00:31:28,742
We should take a walk
or something
634
00:31:28,743 --> 00:31:31,712
and deal with
this dying stuff...
635
00:31:31,713 --> 00:31:34,691
on a nice, dreary, rainy day.
636
00:31:34,692 --> 00:31:37,755
Um, bathroom's right there, Bob.
637
00:31:37,755 --> 00:31:39,688
I don't need
to use the bathroom.
638
00:31:40,700 --> 00:31:43,675
Or maybe I do.
639
00:31:47,688 --> 00:31:49,678
Okay. What is it?
640
00:31:49,679 --> 00:31:52,666
We're jinxing us.
641
00:31:52,667 --> 00:31:55,708
By doing this, we're telling
death, "come on in."
642
00:31:55,709 --> 00:31:58,704
No, it's when you don't do this
that it's a jinx.
643
00:31:58,705 --> 00:32:00,709
Look, I'm a plumber,
and it's always
644
00:32:00,709 --> 00:32:02,669
the people that don't have
homeowner's insurance
645
00:32:02,670 --> 00:32:03,746
whose toilets explode.
646
00:32:03,747 --> 00:32:06,678
Is it what they eat?
647
00:32:06,679 --> 00:32:08,695
Missing my point.
648
00:32:08,696 --> 00:32:10,729
No, avoiding your point.
649
00:32:10,729 --> 00:32:11,734
Go wash your hands.
650
00:32:14,684 --> 00:32:15,687
Please?
651
00:32:15,688 --> 00:32:17,708
We'll do it Saturday.
I promise.
652
00:32:17,709 --> 00:32:22,666
Look, I know it's tough,
but indulge me, okay?
653
00:32:22,667 --> 00:32:24,700
Because if something happens,
654
00:32:24,700 --> 00:32:26,684
there's nothing
more important to me
655
00:32:26,685 --> 00:32:28,692
than knowing that you
and you...
656
00:32:29,734 --> 00:32:32,667
are taken care of.
657
00:32:36,700 --> 00:32:37,746
Bob, come on!
658
00:32:37,746 --> 00:32:41,713
We're not paying you
to go to the bathroom.
659
00:32:43,713 --> 00:32:45,733
Oh, this is
what I'm talking about.
660
00:32:45,734 --> 00:32:48,717
None of that kobe beef, arugula,
and goat cheese nonsense.
661
00:32:48,717 --> 00:32:50,692
Give me good old-fashioned
ground beef,
662
00:32:50,693 --> 00:32:53,704
American cheese,
and iceberg lettuce any day.
663
00:32:53,705 --> 00:32:55,696
Well, I am glad you're happy,
664
00:32:55,696 --> 00:32:57,677
but I am not sure
that any burger is
665
00:32:57,678 --> 00:32:59,667
worth a half-hour drive
in the car.
666
00:32:59,668 --> 00:33:01,712
That's just 'cause
you haven't taken a bite yet.
667
00:33:01,713 --> 00:33:06,666
Juanita said Mrs. Van de Kamp's
boyfriend got killed by a car.
668
00:33:06,667 --> 00:33:08,691
Uh, yes.
669
00:33:08,692 --> 00:33:10,666
Yes, he did.
670
00:33:10,667 --> 00:33:11,692
Um...
671
00:33:11,692 --> 00:33:13,553
and it was an accident.
672
00:33:13,578 --> 00:33:14,602
It was very sad.
673
00:33:14,688 --> 00:33:16,012
But you don't have to worry.
674
00:33:16,029 --> 00:33:18,033
As long as we remember
to look both ways
675
00:33:18,132 --> 00:33:21,069
before we cross the street,
that'll never happen to us.
676
00:33:22,734 --> 00:33:24,709
Where do we go when we die?
677
00:33:29,692 --> 00:33:31,750
Well, you know,
we go to heaven.
678
00:33:31,750 --> 00:33:34,696
I know, but does everyone go?
679
00:33:36,717 --> 00:33:39,695
Everyone you know
will go to heaven.
680
00:33:39,696 --> 00:33:43,683
What about animals?
681
00:33:43,684 --> 00:33:45,670
Animals go to heaven, too.
682
00:33:45,671 --> 00:33:47,724
What about bugs?
683
00:33:47,725 --> 00:33:49,762
Bugs are annoying.
684
00:33:49,763 --> 00:33:51,754
We don't want bugs in heaven.
685
00:33:51,755 --> 00:33:54,675
What about the animals
that eat the bugs?
686
00:33:54,675 --> 00:33:55,709
Won't they starve?
687
00:33:57,671 --> 00:33:58,712
You're right.
688
00:33:58,713 --> 00:34:00,687
There are bugs in heaven.
689
00:34:00,688 --> 00:34:02,745
But if all the people
and all the animals
690
00:34:02,746 --> 00:34:05,704
and all the bugs that ever lived
go to heaven,
691
00:34:05,705 --> 00:34:07,695
isn't it super crowded?
692
00:34:07,696 --> 00:34:09,687
No, sweetie.
693
00:34:09,688 --> 00:34:11,695
Heaven is perfect.
694
00:34:11,696 --> 00:34:14,700
How is it perfect?
I mean, what's it like?
695
00:34:14,700 --> 00:34:16,725
You wanna jump in here?
696
00:34:18,738 --> 00:34:21,695
Buddy, this is heaven.
697
00:34:21,696 --> 00:34:23,712
It is?
698
00:34:23,713 --> 00:34:25,687
Sure. Sitting with the people
699
00:34:25,688 --> 00:34:27,759
you love more than
anything in the world,
700
00:34:27,759 --> 00:34:30,717
eating a double cheeseburger
and fries... it's gotta be heaven.
701
00:34:32,667 --> 00:34:34,696
- You know what else is heaven?
- What?
702
00:34:34,696 --> 00:34:35,698
That place we fish.
703
00:34:35,699 --> 00:34:36,713
Near the waterfall?
704
00:34:36,714 --> 00:34:37,750
Yep. Heaven.
705
00:34:37,750 --> 00:34:39,717
And when we watch football
together
706
00:34:39,718 --> 00:34:41,754
and mom brings us
trays of snacks.
707
00:34:41,755 --> 00:34:43,705
That's heaven, too?
708
00:34:43,705 --> 00:34:45,688
If heaven is supposed to be
the happiest place you can be,
709
00:34:45,689 --> 00:34:47,696
don't all those places
sound like it to you?
710
00:34:53,688 --> 00:34:54,729
What are hamburgers
made out of?
711
00:34:54,730 --> 00:34:56,679
'Cause I know they're not ham.
712
00:35:00,759 --> 00:35:02,745
Thank you for coming
713
00:35:02,746 --> 00:35:05,754
to help honor
Mike Delfino's life.
714
00:35:05,755 --> 00:35:09,738
The family invites you
to join them at the cemetery.
715
00:35:09,738 --> 00:35:11,671
Uh...
716
00:35:12,700 --> 00:35:15,666
I changed my mind.
717
00:35:15,667 --> 00:35:16,737
Hi.
718
00:35:16,738 --> 00:35:19,758
I-I wasn't, uh,
planning to say anything
719
00:35:19,759 --> 00:35:23,712
because, uh...
720
00:35:23,713 --> 00:35:27,699
I had absolutely no idea
what to say.
721
00:35:27,700 --> 00:35:31,679
Mike and I never talked about
722
00:35:31,679 --> 00:35:33,692
what he wanted for a funeral.
723
00:35:35,679 --> 00:35:38,733
I think it's because, um...
724
00:35:38,734 --> 00:35:40,709
Well, you know Mike.
725
00:35:40,709 --> 00:35:44,679
He... wasn't really
much of a talker.
726
00:35:45,705 --> 00:35:47,704
Some of you,
727
00:35:47,705 --> 00:35:51,692
as you came by to hug me today,
728
00:35:51,692 --> 00:35:54,696
you said that
he's in a better place.
729
00:35:56,709 --> 00:35:59,704
And you know what? I...
730
00:35:59,705 --> 00:36:02,742
I realize now...
731
00:36:02,742 --> 00:36:04,742
He is.
732
00:36:06,713 --> 00:36:10,696
He... is in a diner...
733
00:36:12,700 --> 00:36:16,688
eating cheeseburgers
with his family...
734
00:36:18,721 --> 00:36:20,750
And he's fishing
735
00:36:20,750 --> 00:36:22,738
at a waterfall...
736
00:36:26,684 --> 00:36:29,704
and he's watching football
with his son,
737
00:36:29,705 --> 00:36:32,704
yelling like a maniac.
738
00:36:32,705 --> 00:36:35,666
So...
739
00:36:35,667 --> 00:36:40,667
Since he has to be in...
740
00:36:40,667 --> 00:36:42,709
all those wonderful places...
741
00:36:46,688 --> 00:36:50,734
I'm going to have to say
good-bye to him now.
742
00:36:57,713 --> 00:37:00,742
Good-bye, Mike.
743
00:37:14,684 --> 00:37:16,724
I love you once.
744
00:37:16,725 --> 00:37:19,712
I love you twice.
745
00:37:19,713 --> 00:37:22,699
Oh.
746
00:37:22,700 --> 00:37:25,666
I love you more
than beans and rice.
747
00:39:52,700 --> 00:39:54,134
You know what?
Mike was right.
748
00:39:54,135 --> 00:39:57,100
This was the best freaking
burger I've ever had in my life.
749
00:39:57,100 --> 00:39:58,134
You got that right.
750
00:40:01,155 --> 00:40:05,067
Susan, you haven't eaten
a thing. Aren't you starving?
751
00:40:06,142 --> 00:40:10,109
0-5-1-6-0-2.
752
00:40:12,067 --> 00:40:14,129
I-I just remembered...
753
00:40:14,129 --> 00:40:16,125
it's Mike's password
for his voice mail.
754
00:40:16,126 --> 00:40:19,074
I have to call
the cell phone company,
755
00:40:19,075 --> 00:40:21,120
or they're gonna charge us
for an extra month.
756
00:40:21,121 --> 00:40:23,105
I can do that for you.
757
00:40:23,105 --> 00:40:25,129
I will call them
first thing tomorrow morning.
758
00:40:30,084 --> 00:40:33,120
M.J. signed... up
759
00:40:33,121 --> 00:40:36,137
for pitching
for little league this year.
760
00:40:36,138 --> 00:40:38,124
Mike was supposed to teach him.
761
00:40:38,125 --> 00:40:40,771
Oh, honey, I'll send Carlos over
to coach him.
762
00:40:40,796 --> 00:40:43,112
I gave him two girls who hate
sports, so he'll be thrilled.
763
00:40:43,156 --> 00:40:46,146
Mike was always
checking the tires on our car
764
00:40:46,146 --> 00:40:48,121
with this thingy.
765
00:40:50,113 --> 00:40:53,070
I don't know
where the thingy is.
766
00:40:53,071 --> 00:40:56,099
I just know it was important
and it kept us safe.
767
00:40:56,100 --> 00:40:59,079
Hey. Hey. Tom's still
taking care of our cars.
768
00:40:59,079 --> 00:41:02,146
I'll just tell him to add yours
to his to-do list from now on.
769
00:41:04,129 --> 00:41:07,074
Oh.
770
00:41:07,075 --> 00:41:10,137
Susan, we are gonna do
everything we can
771
00:41:10,138 --> 00:41:12,083
to hold you up, okay?
772
00:41:12,084 --> 00:41:14,141
Okay.
773
00:41:14,142 --> 00:41:18,137
Yes, as much as death
takes from us,
774
00:41:18,138 --> 00:41:20,159
it also gives.
775
00:41:20,159 --> 00:41:24,129
It teaches us
what's truly important...
776
00:41:26,125 --> 00:41:31,113
like giving back
after a lifetime of taking...
777
00:41:33,125 --> 00:41:35,150
going after something
778
00:41:35,150 --> 00:41:38,142
we never
should have let go of...
779
00:41:43,138 --> 00:41:48,121
or looking back
on what made us who we are.
780
00:41:51,113 --> 00:41:57,066
But sometimes the lessons
learned after a person's death
781
00:41:57,067 --> 00:41:59,967
aren't the ones we expected.
782
00:41:59,981 --> 00:42:01,435
Forensics says
the prints on the mug
783
00:42:01,455 --> 00:42:03,067
match the prints we found
on the dead guy.
784
00:42:03,142 --> 00:42:07,137
Whole time she was dating Chuck,
I never trusted her.
785
00:42:07,138 --> 00:42:09,158
You think we got enough
to arrest her?
786
00:42:09,159 --> 00:42:11,117
Probably.
787
00:42:11,117 --> 00:42:12,163
Let's hold off.
788
00:42:12,164 --> 00:42:16,113
I wanna make sure we get enough
to put this bitch away for good.
789
00:42:16,138 --> 00:42:21,378
Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells
http://UKsubtitles.ru
Resync by into-the-light