1
00:00:04,129 --> 00:00:05,130
Good morning.
2
00:00:05,296 --> 00:00:07,799
Good morning, future husband.
3
00:00:07,965 --> 00:00:11,860
Oh, I can't believe
we got engaged last night.
4
00:00:11,985 --> 00:00:13,629
I can't tell if you're hugging me
5
00:00:13,754 --> 00:00:16,365
or trying to keep me from running.
6
00:00:16,490 --> 00:00:18,193
Oh, both.
7
00:00:20,019 --> 00:00:20,970
Okay, why would I run from you?
8
00:00:21,095 --> 00:00:23,899
I mean, you're not even family yet.
9
00:00:24,065 --> 00:00:25,984
So does this mean that
you're taking my last name?
10
00:00:26,150 --> 00:00:29,154
You think I'm gonna keep
the last name Cummings?
11
00:00:30,488 --> 00:00:32,214
This is so exciting.
For the first time in my life,
12
00:00:32,339 --> 00:00:33,882
people are gonna be able to Google me
13
00:00:34,007 --> 00:00:36,119
without porn coming up.
14
00:00:36,285 --> 00:00:38,104
Oh, you know what,
there's actually a porn star
15
00:00:38,229 --> 00:00:39,289
with the name Whitney Miller.
16
00:00:39,455 --> 00:00:41,458
She bleaches ev...
17
00:00:44,034 --> 00:00:46,797
We're getting married.
18
00:00:48,089 --> 00:00:50,217
So how do you want to do this?
You want an engagement ring or something?
19
00:00:50,383 --> 00:00:52,051
Oh, you know what?
If you're gonna do that,
20
00:00:52,176 --> 00:00:55,097
I'd rather just have the cash
if that's cool.
21
00:00:55,263 --> 00:00:57,740
All right,
so how are we gonna do this?
22
00:00:57,865 --> 00:00:59,908
You're like the girl
that hates weddings.
23
00:01:00,033 --> 00:01:03,078
Okay, I am gonna do
whatever you want to do, okay?
24
00:01:03,203 --> 00:01:04,213
If you want to do it in a church,
25
00:01:04,338 --> 00:01:06,132
500 people, as long as you're there,
26
00:01:06,257 --> 00:01:07,383
I'm there.
27
00:01:07,508 --> 00:01:10,886
I may not be sober, but I'm there.
28
00:01:11,154 --> 00:01:12,138
I don't know.
A big wedding,
29
00:01:12,263 --> 00:01:13,672
that doesn't really sound
like us, you know.
30
00:01:13,797 --> 00:01:15,474
- That doesn't matter to me.
- Okay, so what should we do?
31
00:01:15,741 --> 00:01:16,692
Let's just go down to city hall
32
00:01:16,817 --> 00:01:17,777
and knock it out, you know?
33
00:01:17,902 --> 00:01:19,445
No family, no tux, no stupid dress.
34
00:01:19,570 --> 00:01:23,041
Just me and you standing naked
in front of a judge.
35
00:01:23,207 --> 00:01:26,211
That actually won't be
the first time for me.
36
00:01:26,377 --> 00:01:27,737
That's exactly why I want to spend
37
00:01:27,862 --> 00:01:30,105
the rest of my life with you.
38
00:01:30,230 --> 00:01:31,591
Okay, so when?
39
00:01:31,757 --> 00:01:34,076
You know what,
this sounds kind of crazy,
40
00:01:34,201 --> 00:01:35,745
buy what if we do it tomorrow,
all right?
41
00:01:35,870 --> 00:01:38,714
I mean, tomorrow will be my
grandparents' 60th anniversary
44
00:01:42,602 --> 00:01:44,187
Okay, let's do it.
45
00:01:46,397 --> 00:01:47,423
This is so exciting.
46
00:01:47,548 --> 00:01:50,643
I mean, from now on,
if you want to leave me,
47
00:01:50,768 --> 00:01:53,739
you're gonna have to pay me.
48
00:01:53,905 --> 00:01:55,097
I like it.
49
00:01:55,222 --> 00:01:56,700
Yeah, I like the way you think.
50
00:01:59,076 --> 00:02:03,749
Whitney is taped in front
of a live studio audience, so...
51
00:02:05,708 --> 00:02:07,142
Dude, I don't know what to do
52
00:02:07,267 --> 00:02:08,327
about this Roxanne situation.
53
00:02:08,452 --> 00:02:10,446
I mean, I can't stop thinking
about her.
54
00:02:10,571 --> 00:02:12,948
It's really pissing me off.
55
00:02:13,073 --> 00:02:15,150
It is so weird that you are into her.
56
00:02:15,275 --> 00:02:16,836
You know, lily's almost home.
57
00:02:16,961 --> 00:02:18,889
Talk to her about it.
She'll know what to do.
58
00:02:19,055 --> 00:02:21,224
Dude, you and lily's
relationship is so weird.
59
00:02:21,390 --> 00:02:22,925
I mean, you were engaged,
you broke up,
60
00:02:23,050 --> 00:02:25,261
you come out as bi, gay, whatever,
61
00:02:25,386 --> 00:02:28,214
and now you just hang out
at her apartment
62
00:02:28,339 --> 00:02:29,715
- when she's not home?
- Yeah.
63
00:02:29,840 --> 00:02:33,320
I feel like our relationship
could probably win Sundance.
64
00:02:33,486 --> 00:02:34,653
Hi.
65
00:02:34,820 --> 00:02:36,021
Oh, hey, Lil,
66
00:02:36,146 --> 00:02:38,283
mark and I have something
to talk to you about.
67
00:02:38,449 --> 00:02:40,827
Oh. Oh, I know you two
are hooking up.
68
00:02:40,993 --> 00:02:42,496
- What?
- No, we're not.
69
00:02:42,662 --> 00:02:45,248
Oh. Never mind.
What's up?
70
00:02:45,414 --> 00:02:47,584
I'm having this weird thing
going on with Roxanne.
71
00:02:47,750 --> 00:02:50,420
I think I have...
Feelings for her.
72
00:02:50,586 --> 00:02:53,956
What?
You like Roxanne?
73
00:02:54,081 --> 00:02:55,224
How is that possible?
74
00:02:55,349 --> 00:02:58,053
She's over 30 and has her own car.
75
00:02:58,219 --> 00:03:01,181
I know.
It doesn't make any sense.
76
00:03:01,347 --> 00:03:04,233
Oh, my God. Did you
just find out about this too?
77
00:03:04,517 --> 00:03:06,552
Yes.
No.
78
00:03:06,677 --> 00:03:09,088
Wow.
Now that we're not engaged,
79
00:03:09,213 --> 00:03:13,527
I have lost all interest
in lying to you.
80
00:03:13,693 --> 00:03:14,877
You guys, I think about her a lot.
81
00:03:15,002 --> 00:03:16,395
Like, I'll see a cute baby
and I'll be like,
82
00:03:16,520 --> 00:03:19,014
"oh, Roxanne would hate that,"
83
00:03:19,139 --> 00:03:21,016
or like, "look at that alley.
84
00:03:21,141 --> 00:03:23,686
Roxanne's probably sleeping in it."
85
00:03:23,811 --> 00:03:25,721
You know, mark,
maybe this is happening
86
00:03:25,846 --> 00:03:27,958
because you haven't hooked up
with anyone for a while.
87
00:03:28,124 --> 00:03:29,334
Yeah, maybe you're frustrated.
88
00:03:29,500 --> 00:03:31,727
But Roxanne is the reason
I haven't hooked up with anybody.
89
00:03:31,852 --> 00:03:33,588
I compare every girl I meet to her.
90
00:03:33,754 --> 00:03:35,948
Oh, God, mark, nut up!
91
00:03:36,073 --> 00:03:37,082
Okay?
92
00:03:37,207 --> 00:03:38,584
Roxanne has been through too much.
93
00:03:38,709 --> 00:03:40,669
The last thing she needs
is you messing with her head,
94
00:03:40,794 --> 00:03:42,722
so get over it.
95
00:03:42,888 --> 00:03:44,173
Okay.
No, you're right.
96
00:03:44,298 --> 00:03:46,041
I'll shake it off.
I'm Irish catholic.
97
00:03:46,166 --> 00:03:48,562
I've repressed feelings all my life.
98
00:03:48,728 --> 00:03:51,013
Good, because, after our break-up
99
00:03:51,138 --> 00:03:55,201
and Neal flying half a rainbow flag,
100
00:03:55,326 --> 00:03:57,019
our group can't take any more stress.
101
00:03:57,144 --> 00:03:59,421
You know, no more big life events,
102
00:03:59,546 --> 00:04:01,514
no more bombs are allowed
to be dropped.
103
00:04:01,782 --> 00:04:02,975
Guys, guess what?
104
00:04:03,100 --> 00:04:05,745
- We're getting married.
- Tomorrow.
105
00:04:11,241 --> 00:04:14,904
All right.
Here we are.
106
00:04:15,029 --> 00:04:17,257
So window three
is for marriage licenses.
107
00:04:17,423 --> 00:04:19,370
It's two down from the d.U.I. Window.
108
00:04:20,384 --> 00:04:21,615
What? I know.
I told 'em.
109
00:04:21,740 --> 00:04:24,264
They should just combine the two.
110
00:04:24,430 --> 00:04:26,332
Okay, you guys get in line.
111
00:04:26,457 --> 00:04:27,883
- We'll be there in a sec.
- Okay.
112
00:04:28,008 --> 00:04:30,896
Whoo!
You're getting married.
113
00:04:31,062 --> 00:04:32,120
- Oh, my God.
- What?
114
00:04:32,245 --> 00:04:33,806
We forgot flowers.
You need flowers.
115
00:04:33,931 --> 00:04:37,027
You know what, I got some pot
in my glove compartment.
116
00:04:37,193 --> 00:04:39,645
Oh, wait, do we have
the stuff... what is it?
117
00:04:39,770 --> 00:04:41,347
The thing with something old,
something new,
118
00:04:41,472 --> 00:04:42,532
something borrowed, something blue?
119
00:04:42,698 --> 00:04:44,733
Okay, okay, this dress is new.
120
00:04:44,858 --> 00:04:46,652
And I plan on returning it tomorrow,
121
00:04:46,777 --> 00:04:48,955
- so it is also borrowed.
- Nice.
122
00:04:49,121 --> 00:04:50,832
Okay, what about old or blue?
123
00:04:50,998 --> 00:04:53,742
Okay, I don't have anything
old, but I did tell Alex
124
00:04:53,867 --> 00:04:54,944
no sex till after the wedding,
125
00:04:55,069 --> 00:04:58,131
so he's got two things that are blue.
126
00:04:58,297 --> 00:04:59,925
- [Laughter]
- Thank you.
127
00:05:00,091 --> 00:05:02,385
Dude, you gave me no time
to throw you a bachelor party.
128
00:05:02,551 --> 00:05:06,097
Luckily, I have pictures
of naked girls on my phone.
129
00:05:08,057 --> 00:05:09,684
- Party's over.
- All right.
130
00:05:09,850 --> 00:05:10,936
Good luck.
131
00:05:11,102 --> 00:05:12,461
Should have been me, but it's fine.
132
00:05:12,586 --> 00:05:14,763
I mean, I think we can all agree
that it's weird
133
00:05:14,888 --> 00:05:15,998
Whitney's getting married before me,
134
00:05:16,273 --> 00:05:17,400
but I'm good.
135
00:05:17,566 --> 00:05:19,277
I'm gonna go get that pot, so...
136
00:05:19,443 --> 00:05:21,363
Next.
137
00:05:21,529 --> 00:05:23,406
- Hi.
- Hi. How can I help you?
138
00:05:23,572 --> 00:05:26,942
Hey, I am tired of getting free milk,
139
00:05:27,067 --> 00:05:31,456
and I would like
to purchase this cow.
140
00:05:31,622 --> 00:05:34,349
Okay, I'm gonna need to see
two forms of I.D.
141
00:05:34,474 --> 00:05:38,171
From you and your lovely cow.
142
00:05:38,337 --> 00:05:41,424
All right.
143
00:05:41,590 --> 00:05:43,510
This driver's license is expired.
144
00:05:43,676 --> 00:05:45,136
- What?
- Yeah.
145
00:05:45,302 --> 00:05:46,462
You need a current driver's license
146
00:05:46,587 --> 00:05:48,974
if you want to get married
and also to, you know,
147
00:05:49,140 --> 00:05:52,727
be a person, I mean...
148
00:05:52,893 --> 00:05:54,536
Do you have another form of I.D.?
149
00:05:54,661 --> 00:05:56,564
Oh, do you have
your social security card?
150
00:05:56,730 --> 00:05:58,608
[Scoffs]
151
00:05:58,774 --> 00:06:00,610
Okay, what do we do?
152
00:06:00,776 --> 00:06:02,094
You need to go to the DMV,
renew your license,
153
00:06:02,219 --> 00:06:03,446
so you can get married.
154
00:06:03,612 --> 00:06:05,681
Oh, come on,
don't you have like a database
155
00:06:05,806 --> 00:06:07,742
or something where you could
look that stuff up online?
156
00:06:07,908 --> 00:06:10,352
Sir, this is city hall.
157
00:06:10,477 --> 00:06:13,039
We don't have the Internet.
158
00:06:13,205 --> 00:06:16,682
Next.
159
00:06:18,619 --> 00:06:20,562
How do you fail
a multiple-choice driving test?
160
00:06:20,687 --> 00:06:21,997
You've been driving for 13 years.
161
00:06:22,122 --> 00:06:23,665
Okay, every question
was about school zones
162
00:06:23,790 --> 00:06:24,950
and school buses.
163
00:06:25,075 --> 00:06:27,753
I mean, you have to be
a pedophile to pass that thing.
164
00:06:27,878 --> 00:06:29,038
All right, well,
now you can't take the test
165
00:06:29,163 --> 00:06:30,789
for another three weeks,
so there goes that.
166
00:06:30,914 --> 00:06:32,976
Okay, no,
we are gonna get married today.
167
00:06:33,142 --> 00:06:34,978
Okay, I just need to figure out
another form of I.D.
168
00:06:35,144 --> 00:06:36,411
All right, well, it's already 4:00,
169
00:06:36,536 --> 00:06:37,689
so we only have an hour left.
170
00:06:37,855 --> 00:06:38,847
I'll call my dad.
171
00:06:38,972 --> 00:06:40,483
He'll fax me my birth certificate.
172
00:06:40,649 --> 00:06:42,634
Uh, no, we don't want
to risk him coming,
173
00:06:42,759 --> 00:06:45,739
'cause that'll ruin...
What we're already ruining.
174
00:06:45,905 --> 00:06:46,939
First of all, he's my dad.
175
00:06:47,064 --> 00:06:48,867
He was barely there
when I was conceived.
176
00:06:49,033 --> 00:06:52,061
Second, he's in Arizona.
He would never make it in time.
177
00:06:52,186 --> 00:06:55,123
Okay.
178
00:06:55,289 --> 00:06:57,933
Dad, hey, it's Whitney.
179
00:06:58,058 --> 00:06:59,434
Cummings.
180
00:06:59,559 --> 00:07:01,620
I need you to fax me
my birth certificate
181
00:07:01,745 --> 00:07:04,289
because I'm here with Alex
and we are getting married.
182
00:07:04,414 --> 00:07:07,409
So...
Okay!
183
00:07:07,534 --> 00:07:09,346
Great.
184
00:07:09,512 --> 00:07:11,246
Great.
Okay. Thank you.
185
00:07:11,371 --> 00:07:15,084
- Okay, bye.
- That was easy.
186
00:07:15,351 --> 00:07:16,969
Yeah, well, he's not going to fax it.
187
00:07:17,094 --> 00:07:20,589
We have to go pick it up.
188
00:07:20,856 --> 00:07:24,069
- What, in Arizona?
- No, he's here in Chicago.
189
00:07:25,277 --> 00:07:26,613
Come on, I'll scream in the car.
190
00:07:35,237 --> 00:07:38,416
- Dad!
- Oh, here comes to bug!
191
00:07:38,977 --> 00:07:40,877
♪ Da da da da ♪
192
00:07:41,043 --> 00:07:42,222
♪ and Mr. Groom bug ♪
193
00:07:42,347 --> 00:07:43,973
I can't believe it.
194
00:07:44,098 --> 00:07:46,893
My daughter's first marriage.
195
00:07:47,018 --> 00:07:49,135
Vince, I thought you said
we were meeting at your office.
196
00:07:49,301 --> 00:07:50,647
This is it.
I move around too much
197
00:07:50,772 --> 00:07:52,332
to sign a lease.
Look at this place.
198
00:07:52,457 --> 00:07:54,067
I got everything I need.
199
00:07:54,192 --> 00:07:56,736
Ba-dah, ba-dah, blah, blah.
200
00:07:57,017 --> 00:07:58,071
Ha.
201
00:07:58,352 --> 00:07:59,822
So we really need
that birth certificate.
202
00:07:59,947 --> 00:08:01,457
- We're kind of in a hurry.
- Right, right, right.
203
00:08:01,582 --> 00:08:04,377
One certificate de birth
coming right up.
204
00:08:04,502 --> 00:08:06,246
I got the corporate headquarters
right here.
205
00:08:06,371 --> 00:08:08,381
All right.
206
00:08:10,779 --> 00:08:13,136
And... now just wait
one hot doggone minute.
207
00:08:14,128 --> 00:08:16,256
If you want to marry my daughter,
208
00:08:16,381 --> 00:08:18,725
you're gonna have to ask me
properly for permission.
209
00:08:18,998 --> 00:08:20,476
Dad.
210
00:08:20,749 --> 00:08:21,477
Go see if there's some loose change
211
00:08:21,602 --> 00:08:23,378
in that vending machine over there.
212
00:08:23,544 --> 00:08:27,317
Ugh.
Just like old times.
213
00:08:27,442 --> 00:08:30,403
You know, I'm sorry, Vince.
214
00:08:30,528 --> 00:08:32,303
May I have your daughter's hand
in marriage?
215
00:08:32,469 --> 00:08:35,306
For a price.
216
00:08:35,472 --> 00:08:37,643
- I'm kidding.
- Okay. I don't...
217
00:08:37,933 --> 00:08:40,613
You know, before I give you
my permission, though,
218
00:08:40,738 --> 00:08:43,416
I just want to make sure
you're in it for the long haul.
219
00:08:43,541 --> 00:08:46,703
I mean, Whitney,
for... for whatever reason,
220
00:08:46,828 --> 00:08:48,654
has trouble trusting men.
221
00:08:48,779 --> 00:08:51,906
You know, I blame
the public school system.
222
00:08:52,072 --> 00:08:53,543
Yeah.
Yeah.
223
00:08:53,668 --> 00:08:54,909
I promise, I am.
224
00:08:55,075 --> 00:08:56,763
Well, you better be.
225
00:08:56,888 --> 00:08:58,581
Because if you ever hurt her,
226
00:08:58,706 --> 00:09:01,451
I've got a guy who's available
at a moment's notice
227
00:09:01,576 --> 00:09:04,711
in three to five years.
228
00:09:06,314 --> 00:09:08,381
Okay, understood.
Yes, sir.
229
00:09:08,547 --> 00:09:10,526
All right, congratulations.
230
00:09:10,651 --> 00:09:13,947
You are the proud owner
of one Whitney Cummings,
231
00:09:14,072 --> 00:09:16,733
as is, no returns.
232
00:09:16,858 --> 00:09:18,876
Oh, good. Okay,
we can still make it by 5:00.
233
00:09:19,001 --> 00:09:20,542
- Yeah.
- Whoa, you want to get married
234
00:09:20,667 --> 00:09:22,187
- today?
- Yeah.
235
00:09:22,353 --> 00:09:25,607
No, city hall closes
at 4:30 on Tuesdays.
236
00:09:25,773 --> 00:09:28,860
[Both groan]
237
00:09:29,026 --> 00:09:30,747
Now we can't get married
till tomorrow.
238
00:09:30,872 --> 00:09:34,917
- Ugh.
- I can't make it tomorrow.
239
00:09:35,042 --> 00:09:37,202
I promise I'll be at the next one.
240
00:09:40,496 --> 00:09:42,342
- Hi.
- Hey, is Roxanne here?
241
00:09:42,467 --> 00:09:43,726
No, she's not.
242
00:09:43,851 --> 00:09:46,294
Mark, you are obsessed, man.
Let it go.
243
00:09:46,460 --> 00:09:47,513
Oh, no, I have.
Actually I realized
244
00:09:47,638 --> 00:09:48,838
I don't like her at all.
245
00:09:49,004 --> 00:09:50,216
Like is something that's
supposed to make you happy.
246
00:09:50,341 --> 00:09:52,091
She's making me miserable.
247
00:09:52,257 --> 00:09:54,135
So where is big, fat Roxanne anyway?
248
00:09:54,301 --> 00:09:55,762
She's on a date.
249
00:09:55,928 --> 00:09:59,058
Okay. Okay, see, that...
Now that makes me nauseous.
250
00:09:59,183 --> 00:10:02,519
Hoo.
I really do hate that woman.
251
00:10:02,686 --> 00:10:04,130
God, oh, no.
252
00:10:04,255 --> 00:10:07,482
Mark, I think you might be
in love with her.
253
00:10:07,648 --> 00:10:11,371
What?
Well, then I have been lied to.
254
00:10:11,496 --> 00:10:16,241
By Rachel McAdams and babyface.
255
00:10:16,407 --> 00:10:17,700
[Laughter]
256
00:10:17,866 --> 00:10:18,878
Oh, hey, guys.
257
00:10:19,003 --> 00:10:20,463
Everybody, this is Nick.
258
00:10:20,588 --> 00:10:22,288
Hey.
259
00:10:22,454 --> 00:10:23,957
Nick, huh?
260
00:10:24,123 --> 00:10:26,135
- Uh-huh.
- What are you doing, man?
261
00:10:26,260 --> 00:10:28,388
You're bringing a girl home
at 9:00 at night.
262
00:10:28,513 --> 00:10:31,140
- Are you loco?
- What? Mark, what the hell?
263
00:10:31,265 --> 00:10:35,552
- Calm down.
- You stay out of this.
264
00:10:35,718 --> 00:10:39,389
Okay, I'm gonna head out.
So it was...
265
00:10:39,555 --> 00:10:41,401
Ooh, keep it in your pants, man.
266
00:10:41,526 --> 00:10:44,310
She... she said good-bye.
267
00:10:44,476 --> 00:10:47,981
What?
Okay, Nick, I'll call...
268
00:10:48,147 --> 00:10:50,076
- Are you okay?
- What? Of course I'm okay.
269
00:10:50,201 --> 00:10:52,026
- Are you insane?
- Did he hurt you?
270
00:10:52,192 --> 00:10:53,663
What?
271
00:10:53,788 --> 00:10:57,323
Did mark see Drive again?
272
00:10:57,489 --> 00:11:00,910
Mark has something
that he needs to tell you.
273
00:11:01,076 --> 00:11:04,924
We'll give you two some space.
274
00:11:05,049 --> 00:11:06,926
Okay.
275
00:11:07,051 --> 00:11:08,144
Mark, what's going on?
276
00:11:08,269 --> 00:11:10,012
Why are you acting like this?
277
00:11:10,137 --> 00:11:12,839
Wait, did I...
Did I do something wrong?
278
00:11:13,005 --> 00:11:14,851
Yes.
You're in my brain.
279
00:11:14,976 --> 00:11:17,343
Get out.
280
00:11:17,509 --> 00:11:19,095
What?
281
00:11:19,561 --> 00:11:22,653
I think about you all the time.
282
00:11:24,485 --> 00:11:28,164
I'm always thinking of things
to make you laugh.
283
00:11:28,289 --> 00:11:32,001
Those...
Those fancy wine glasses
284
00:11:32,126 --> 00:11:33,486
that I have in my apartment,
285
00:11:33,611 --> 00:11:34,787
those weren't from my Aunt.
286
00:11:34,912 --> 00:11:36,122
I got those for yo
287
00:11:36,247 --> 00:11:37,173
so that you'd have something
288
00:11:37,298 --> 00:11:39,242
to drink out of when you come over.
289
00:11:39,367 --> 00:11:43,286
And this morning there was
a woman in the grocery store...
290
00:11:43,452 --> 00:11:44,997
She smelled like you,
and so I followed her around
291
00:11:45,122 --> 00:11:47,582
for half an hour.
292
00:11:49,260 --> 00:11:50,686
W-wow.
293
00:11:50,811 --> 00:11:54,688
Um, wow, I don't e...
I don't even know what to say.
294
00:11:56,601 --> 00:11:58,635
Lily thinks I'm in love with you.
295
00:12:00,969 --> 00:12:03,514
What do you think?
296
00:12:03,680 --> 00:12:06,241
Mark, um...
297
00:12:08,863 --> 00:12:10,689
We're friends, you know.
298
00:12:10,814 --> 00:12:14,275
And... I don't think we should
be anything more than that.
299
00:12:17,154 --> 00:12:20,349
Coo.
300
00:12:20,474 --> 00:12:21,240
Coo.
301
00:12:22,519 --> 00:12:23,869
Mark, I'm really sorry.
302
00:12:23,994 --> 00:12:25,221
No.
No, no, no.
303
00:12:25,346 --> 00:12:26,389
No way, Jose.
304
00:12:26,514 --> 00:12:27,914
- Come on, mark.
- No, no.
305
00:12:28,080 --> 00:12:30,041
I'm totally fine, Jose.
306
00:12:38,257 --> 00:12:41,487
It's impossible to make
an honest woman out of you.
307
00:12:41,612 --> 00:12:44,106
I'm sorry, but tomorrow
we are gonna get married
308
00:12:44,231 --> 00:12:45,682
so hard.
309
00:12:45,848 --> 00:12:47,308
Oh, yeah?
310
00:12:47,474 --> 00:12:50,196
Hey, listen,
311
00:12:50,321 --> 00:12:52,365
I know you said you didn't want
me to get you a ring,
312
00:12:52,490 --> 00:12:54,733
but I figured since we're
getting married tomorrow anyway,
313
00:12:54,858 --> 00:12:58,695
I might as well stop caring
about what you want now.
314
00:12:58,861 --> 00:13:01,489
Oh, my God.
315
00:13:01,655 --> 00:13:04,293
Before you say that this isn't us,
316
00:13:04,418 --> 00:13:06,429
I want you to know that
this little diamond right here
317
00:13:06,554 --> 00:13:09,315
is just like you, and it's hard
318
00:13:09,440 --> 00:13:11,624
and pretty and full of flaws.
319
00:13:13,210 --> 00:13:14,377
Oh, my God.
320
00:13:14,543 --> 00:13:17,023
It's beautiful.
321
00:13:17,148 --> 00:13:20,026
It's too small.
It doesn't fit.
322
00:13:20,151 --> 00:13:23,803
Oh, no, I got it.
[Spits]
323
00:13:23,969 --> 00:13:26,097
Classy.
324
00:13:26,263 --> 00:13:27,450
Oh, my God.
325
00:13:27,575 --> 00:13:30,017
Did you just get this
so that guys wouldn't hit on me?
326
00:13:30,183 --> 00:13:34,624
No, your personality
does that already.
327
00:13:34,749 --> 00:13:37,109
Oh, my God.
328
00:13:37,234 --> 00:13:39,161
I kind of get
the whole ring thing now.
329
00:13:39,286 --> 00:13:41,581
I mean, I don't get the posting
500 photos of it on Facebook,
330
00:13:41,706 --> 00:13:46,117
but I do kind of want to show
this to a couple girls I hate.
331
00:13:46,283 --> 00:13:49,622
- I love you.
- I love you.
332
00:13:49,747 --> 00:13:53,759
You know, I know we said
333
00:13:53,884 --> 00:13:56,095
we weren't gonna have sex
until the wedding,
334
00:13:56,220 --> 00:14:00,857
but I did buy you a ring.
335
00:14:06,063 --> 00:14:07,490
- [Screams]
- Ooh, why did you do that?
336
00:14:07,763 --> 00:14:09,575
Oh, my God.
Are you okay?
337
00:14:09,848 --> 00:14:11,810
- Did you lose weight?
- Oh, I'm fine.
338
00:14:11,935 --> 00:14:13,227
- Are you sure?
- I'm fine.
339
00:14:13,393 --> 00:14:14,729
Okay, all right.
Okay, okay.
340
00:14:14,895 --> 00:14:15,948
- All right.
- I was dropped like that
341
00:14:16,073 --> 00:14:17,982
- all the time as a kid.
- Okay.
342
00:14:18,148 --> 00:14:21,903
Oh, my God, my ring.
[Both scream]
343
00:14:28,797 --> 00:14:30,453
How come we can't talk
about getting married
344
00:14:30,619 --> 00:14:31,788
without winding up in the hospital?
345
00:14:31,954 --> 00:14:33,381
We got to move.
We got to cut this ring off,
346
00:14:33,506 --> 00:14:34,791
- or we're gonna lose the finger.
- No.
347
00:14:34,957 --> 00:14:36,584
That's my engagement ring.
Alex gave me that.
348
00:14:36,750 --> 00:14:38,336
Ma'am, your finger is dying.
349
00:14:38,502 --> 00:14:40,004
Look, Whit, come on, shut up.
350
00:14:40,170 --> 00:14:41,640
It's just a stupid ring.
351
00:14:41,765 --> 00:14:44,042
Okay, but do not cut off
my middle finger.
352
00:14:44,167 --> 00:14:48,513
I need it to communicate
with strangers.
353
00:14:48,679 --> 00:14:50,473
Thanks.
354
00:14:50,639 --> 00:14:53,351
I'll be back to set the finger.
355
00:14:55,395 --> 00:14:57,146
All right, I'm sorry.
This is just so weird.
356
00:14:57,312 --> 00:14:58,940
I mean, you have ten fingers,
and, out of all of them,
357
00:14:59,065 --> 00:15:00,775
your ring finger's
the one that breaks.
358
00:15:00,941 --> 00:15:02,410
So?
359
00:15:02,693 --> 00:15:05,396
So, I'm just saying it's hard
not to take it as a sign.
360
00:15:05,521 --> 00:15:07,866
I mean, your finger had
an engagement ring on it
361
00:15:07,991 --> 00:15:10,952
for three minutes,
and it tried to kill itself.
362
00:15:11,118 --> 00:15:13,355
Honey, the only thing
this is a sign of
363
00:15:13,480 --> 00:15:17,875
is that we are gonna get
so much Vicodin.
364
00:15:18,041 --> 00:15:21,128
Okay, nothing
is going to stop us now.
365
00:15:21,294 --> 00:15:22,747
All right, we got all the documents,
366
00:15:22,872 --> 00:15:26,008
we got two forms of I.D.,
we got all 20 fingers,
367
00:15:26,174 --> 00:15:28,970
and another line to wait in.
368
00:15:30,379 --> 00:15:32,223
God, I'd love a place to sit.
369
00:15:32,348 --> 00:15:34,042
Oh, is that something
that you could love?
370
00:15:34,167 --> 00:15:36,978
You could love that?
371
00:15:37,144 --> 00:15:39,948
Great. I knew our group
would get weird.
372
00:15:40,073 --> 00:15:43,568
Now I know what it was like
to be in no doubt.
373
00:15:43,859 --> 00:15:45,453
Are you seriously trying
to tell me that the idea of us
374
00:15:45,578 --> 00:15:46,863
never even crossed your mind?
375
00:15:47,029 --> 00:15:48,290
I don't know.
Maybe once or twice.
376
00:15:48,415 --> 00:15:51,200
You know, it was when I was
really drunk and desperate.
377
00:15:51,366 --> 00:15:53,411
That's every day.
378
00:15:53,536 --> 00:15:56,464
You know what,
you take me for granted.
379
00:15:56,589 --> 00:15:59,217
Sometimes you need to see
somebody be with somebody else
380
00:15:59,342 --> 00:16:01,419
to realize that you have
feelings for them.
381
00:16:01,544 --> 00:16:03,638
Lily, come here.
382
00:16:03,763 --> 00:16:07,425
I need to borrow your face.
383
00:16:07,591 --> 00:16:09,260
Uh...
384
00:16:14,598 --> 00:16:16,601
You're acting like a crazy person.
385
00:16:16,767 --> 00:16:19,353
Yeah. I can tell that made you
a little bit jealous.
386
00:16:19,519 --> 00:16:23,141
I know that look.
387
00:16:23,266 --> 00:16:26,277
What look?
388
00:16:26,443 --> 00:16:27,845
That face you made
389
00:16:27,970 --> 00:16:29,114
is the face that you make
390
00:16:29,239 --> 00:16:31,490
- when you're into someone.
- What? Lily?
391
00:16:31,656 --> 00:16:34,953
No.
I-I did not like that.
392
00:16:35,078 --> 00:16:37,622
I'm just...
393
00:16:37,747 --> 00:16:40,875
It was very confusing.
394
00:16:41,041 --> 00:16:43,128
How is it possible that I am
395
00:16:43,253 --> 00:16:47,757
the least sexually confused
person in this group?
396
00:16:47,923 --> 00:16:49,867
Is my middle name Ann
with 'e' or no 'e'?
397
00:16:49,992 --> 00:16:51,510
No 'e'.
398
00:16:51,676 --> 00:16:53,588
I don't know.
It looks weird.
399
00:16:53,713 --> 00:16:55,757
Duration of marriage?
400
00:16:55,882 --> 00:16:58,976
We have to decide that now?
401
00:16:59,142 --> 00:17:00,519
Ten years or...
402
00:17:00,685 --> 00:17:02,271
When's our lease up?
403
00:17:02,437 --> 00:17:04,440
She gave us divorce forms.
404
00:17:04,606 --> 00:17:06,985
[Groans]
405
00:17:07,110 --> 00:17:08,153
All right, I'll go get
the right ones.
406
00:17:08,278 --> 00:17:09,278
No, wait, wait, hold on.
407
00:17:09,444 --> 00:17:11,072
What are we doing?
This is crazy.
408
00:17:11,197 --> 00:17:12,574
- I love you.
- I love you too.
409
00:17:12,699 --> 00:17:14,325
- I'll be right back.
- No, Whit.
410
00:17:14,491 --> 00:17:16,327
- What?
- I love you.
411
00:17:16,493 --> 00:17:18,797
I love you too.
412
00:17:18,922 --> 00:17:20,373
Do you have cancer?
413
00:17:20,539 --> 00:17:23,284
No, look, ever since you said
yes to marrying me,
414
00:17:23,409 --> 00:17:24,543
nothing has gone right.
415
00:17:24,709 --> 00:17:27,171
All right?
The DMV, the emergency room,
416
00:17:27,337 --> 00:17:29,424
your dad, and now this.
417
00:17:29,549 --> 00:17:30,925
Maybe I do have cancer.
418
00:17:31,091 --> 00:17:33,595
Honey, I know
this is stressful and awful,
419
00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:37,098
but I'm pretty sure that's what
marriage is supposed to be like.
420
00:17:37,264 --> 00:17:39,267
Hey, look, I know
you don't believe in fate,
421
00:17:39,392 --> 00:17:40,918
all right, but I do.
422
00:17:41,043 --> 00:17:42,303
I think it was fate that we met,
423
00:17:42,428 --> 00:17:43,621
I think it was fate
that we fell in love,
424
00:17:43,746 --> 00:17:46,775
and, I don't know,
now maybe fate is trying
425
00:17:46,900 --> 00:17:48,526
to tell us something here.
426
00:17:49,331 --> 00:17:51,156
That I should have worn underwear?
427
00:17:51,444 --> 00:17:52,445
No.
428
00:17:55,448 --> 00:17:57,235
Look, the whole idea of us
having this wedding
429
00:17:57,360 --> 00:17:59,204
was that we wanted to find
the perfect thing for us.
430
00:17:59,494 --> 00:18:03,591
But maybe the universe
is trying to tell us
431
00:18:03,716 --> 00:18:06,627
that we've already found it.
432
00:18:06,793 --> 00:18:10,498
Okay, so I've been telling you
that for three years,
433
00:18:10,623 --> 00:18:12,467
and the universe tells you that
for two days,
434
00:18:12,592 --> 00:18:15,286
and you listen to it?
435
00:18:15,411 --> 00:18:17,672
You know, I know you're gonna
find this hard to believe,
436
00:18:17,797 --> 00:18:20,641
but I think that the universe
is actually louder than you.
437
00:18:22,769 --> 00:18:25,063
Honey, the reason I want to marry you
438
00:18:25,188 --> 00:18:27,065
is 'cause I know
it's important to you.
439
00:18:27,190 --> 00:18:30,802
I wanted you to know that,
even though sometimes I suck
440
00:18:30,927 --> 00:18:33,946
at this, I'm not going anywhere.
441
00:18:34,112 --> 00:18:36,474
Well, I know that now.
442
00:18:36,599 --> 00:18:39,444
I just want what we had two days ago.
443
00:18:39,569 --> 00:18:41,246
Forever.
444
00:18:41,371 --> 00:18:43,455
You mean us not married?
445
00:18:43,747 --> 00:18:46,751
Yeah, us not married at home
446
00:18:46,876 --> 00:18:48,653
in sweats with your finger not broken
447
00:18:48,778 --> 00:18:51,297
and having had sex.
448
00:18:51,463 --> 00:18:54,792
Okay, but we did all this,
we came all the way down here,
449
00:18:54,917 --> 00:18:56,211
and we're five minutes away
from getting married,
450
00:18:56,336 --> 00:18:58,679
and we're just gonna bail on it?
451
00:18:58,845 --> 00:19:03,188
Oh, my God, that is so us.
452
00:19:04,517 --> 00:19:06,604
Yeah, that is so us.
453
00:19:14,437 --> 00:19:16,447
You know, I have an idea
454
00:19:16,572 --> 00:19:19,784
for something that's
even more permanent than this.
455
00:19:24,414 --> 00:19:26,665
So do you really want to do this?
456
00:19:26,831 --> 00:19:29,277
I do.
457
00:19:29,402 --> 00:19:30,586
Do you really want to do this?
458
00:19:30,752 --> 00:19:32,671
I do.
459
00:19:32,837 --> 00:19:35,366
[The Naked and Famous Young Blood]
460
00:19:35,491 --> 00:19:41,496
♪ ♪
461
00:19:46,052 --> 00:19:49,170
♪ we're all young and naive still ♪
462
00:19:51,174 --> 00:19:54,059
♪ we require certain skill ♪
463
00:19:55,445 --> 00:19:58,572
♪ the motive changes like the wind ♪
464
00:20:00,099 --> 00:20:02,343
♪ hard to control when it begins ♪
465
00:20:02,468 --> 00:20:03,661
Hi.
466
00:20:03,827 --> 00:20:07,123
Hi.
467
00:20:09,582 --> 00:20:13,379
Okay, don't fall in love with me.
468
00:20:13,545 --> 00:20:15,631
Okay, I won't.
469
00:20:15,797 --> 00:20:23,466
Sync and correction by Mlmlte
www.addic7ed.com