Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD www.addic7ed.com/
- Gary, Gary. - Feeling it.
And I'm loving it, that's a lot of nails, gare.
Yeah, sorry about that.
All right, maybe just two in that one, okay?
Why aren't you dressed?
There's no school.
Huge fire in the cafeteria.
Is this the same cafeteria that had a flood last week?
Wow, God hates sloppy Joes.
What's with you trying to skip school?
I'm just blowing off school to avoid a math test.
You don't need math.
Said the woman stealing figs from my backyard.
You know she's a cautionary tale, right?
The music just got louder.
Get ready for school, missy.
Can you call the cops on your own house?
Whoa, way to kill the music.
You're like buddy Holly's plane.
This is Solomon Burke, the bishop of soul.
You got to bathe in it.
It's a little too early.
Is it too early for this?
- [Grunts] - Okay.
Is it too early for that? Mmm.
You're an attorney, right?
Do I have a case here?
- Please stop. - Hi.
How are you? I'm Alex.
I'm Gary, I've been working here about three weeks.
Just a heads up,
if we go tuneless, we get a lot less productive.
Oh, really, less productive?
What's that, a group nap?
No, we never nap when you're here.
So, what do you listen to at work?
It's a law office, so mostly metal.
I'm gonna make you a legal mix tape.
I'm gonna call it, "rebuttal to a gray life."
Just keep it down.
What?
The almost kiss.
It's about the music.
But do you need to talk about
the fact that you tried to kiss me?
Restless night? You want a redo?
So you can get shot down again?
You leaned in.
That's a lie.
I am seeing Ben.
There was also a slight pucker.
You and I are just friends.
Friends is great.
I was just going to suggest that,
because you can't seem to make up your mind about what you want.
I changed my mind, I don't want to be friends.
As your friend, let me tell you something.
You need to have a party for your birthday on Saturday.
How did you know it was my birthday?
- It's your alarm code. - How did you know that?
Saw your license.
What, do I need a nanny cam?
So you can watch me dance at work?
Oh, God.
- Oh, don't do that, all right? - Yeah it was bad.
I don't want a birthday party.
Yes, but you do want a venice birthday rager
with tons of cool people and some of your friends.
Look, it hasn't been the greatest year, okay?
I don't really feel like celebrating,
especially with a bunch of people I don't know.
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Things are looking up, okay?
You lean in a couple more times,
it's going to be a great year.
Oh, no, too much, yeah.
Damn it.
- Hey, pops? - Yeah.
I'm cool with you taking the truck, but avoid reverse.
Just play to your strengths.
I clipped one hydrant, let it go.
Hey, nice figs.
Oh, thank you.
What are you doing today?
- I am taking an artist day. - A what?
A day, dedicated to replenishing my inner artist.
And maybe getting some taquitos at meri's.
I love taquitos.
Oh, no, it's not about food.
Let me ask you a question.
Have you ever been depleted artistically?
I love taquitos.
You are really, really not getting this.
No, I'm getting this.
Do you know what they have me doing today at the restaurant?
Deboning 70 pounds of tilapia.
I need to play hooky.
Hop in. Bring the figs.
Oh.
I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.
Did you get a good look?
Yeah, uh, no.
Feels like rain, what do you think?
Pete, we got a situation here.
A real situation is going down in here.
All right, man. Come on. Here we go.
Who put the switch in, huh?
Are you subcontracting my work?
Clem, calm down.
I don't know who did this.
I... I didn't touch it.
We didn't ask you.
But you got guilty eyes.
I got to go, something's going on with the crew.
It is about my switch?
I don't know.
I bet it is.
Let me call you back.
So, you've seen Ben's handiwork.
How long have I been asking you to do that switch?
Because it only took Ben 20 minutes.
It's an outrageous violation of contractor code.
I am appalled.
Your boyfriend did this?
Or, maybe it was screwsie's boyfriend,
if he's in the picture.
What's the latest on that?
Gary's in love with your sister.
Well, at least her rack.
Does rack sound like a word that I would use?
I don't really know you.
Three weeks.
Okay, here's Ben's office.
- What's the master plan? - Whatever it takes.
You got my back, right?
I can't sign that blank check.
We should lock his wheels.
Hey, vlad, look under my roller-skates
and grab the Denver boot.
Why do you have a boot?
His wife was meter maid.
You know how you bring things home from the office?
Post-its and what not, you know.
Ooh, look, free car washes.
Clem, we're self-parking.
Well, it's going to take awhile to put the boot on,
so we're going to have some time.
- Gary. - Come on, Pete.
The Tahoe's ashy.
Hey, there's a time for errands and there's
a time for justice.
I'm just saying, if we could do both,
that'd be sweet.
All right, this is his car.
Is that the 2011?
Look how sleek that is.
Dr. Ben is doing all right.
All right, vlad, boot it.
Schnell, schnell.
German?
Aborte, aborte!
That's Spanish.
What are you up to, Ben?
Look where his hand is.
It's on her lower back.
That's not lower back, that high ass right there.
- Definitely high ass. - You know what?
I got my awesome new phone, say the word and I'll shoot.
- Shoot it. - Okay.
Photo or video?
Video would capture the nuance.
Okay, video then.
- Sd or hd? - Which one's better?
Depends what you're using them for.
I'm using it for this.
Hd, then.
Let's call it, boys.
Dr. Benjamin Hastings, time of death,
I'm not wearing a watch.
Tell me when to shoot.
Now.
Alex, there's a gentleman here to see you.
[Whispers] I don't want to say that part.
She'll love it.
He's super hot and you almost kissed him the other night.
Wasn't even close to kissing him.
Hey.
Hey, you need to have an appointment.
One second.
Excellent, Carol. That'll be all.
What are you doing here?
Because this is kind of inappropriate.
I have two pieces of media for you.
One is a mixtape for your listening pleasure.
And the other is a video that is going to blow your mind.
- You have a couple minutes? - No, I really don't.
This will just take a couple minutes.
I just don't think that I'm necessarily
the type of guy that screwsie would go for.
That's no way to talk.
Look at yourself. You're a snowflake.
No one else has your face.
I thought I was a snowflake.
You're both snowflakes, right?
We have a very beautiful crew.
Look at you guys.
Really, Ben's cheating on me?
You are, what we call in the law, full of crap.
Would you like to watch a home movie?
I really don't have time.
This is going to blow your mind.
Any moment, your mind is going to be blown.
Oh, it's hd, still buffering.
Last moments of an un-blown mi...
What the hell? This cell service is horrible.
Oh, my God.
Hold on, hold on, no service, searching.
Okay, this is ridiculous.
We are in a law office, no cell service,
little disappointing.
Okay, and we go... There's the sweet spot.
Okay, well, tight quarters,
but we can make it work.
Uh-uh.
So this is a drum circle?
It's the Monday morning circle.
Little more buttoned down.
Yeah, I can't tell where
the homeless stops and artist begins.
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Let's control the snark. It's not that kind of scene.
- Grab a djembe. - Who?
A djembe. Close your eyes.
Jump in when you're feeling it.
Breathe through your mouth.
Some of these cats can be pretty ripe.
Come on, girl.
Let the beat nourish you.
Let it heal you.
Is that Charlie?
Let it feel you.
Charlie?
Hey, it's bad form to bail mid-jam.
She's new.
Yee-ha!
Ee-ha!
Oh, my God.
I know.
And it's your birthday week.
I mean, what a bastard.
He's got his hand on her lower back.
Well, the consensus is it's high ass.
What were you guys even doing there?
When we going to Denver boot this fool?
Just focus on the betrayal.
Wow, that is really coming together.
What is it?
So why aren't you in school?
And don't give me that flood crap.
There's this girl, Nicole.
Nicole? Oh, I hate her already.
She's kind of bullying me.
She on you about your boy haircut?
No, it's because my dad's in prison.
Kids are so vicious.
Wow, I am having the most powerful sense of memory.
Rotten eggs, Billy Callahan rubbing them in my hair.
This was years ago.
Obviously.
She's posting all these fake pictures of me on Facebook.
Look, this is me in an orange jumpsuit.
Those 42 "likes" have gotta sting.
I'm waiting on the lab results.
Alex?
At least you got my name right,
but let me ask you this.
What's her name?
It just says "buffering."
I can't get a signal.
Is that an hd file? Those are huge.
It's a video of you with another woman
wearing a mauve blouse with a pink bra underneath.
It doesn't even match. It's, like, not even close.
- Lindsay? - I think she was latina.
Marisol?
Okay, this just keeps on giving.
Whatever her name was, you had your hand
on what the majority of people feel was high ass.
I'm sorry, am I in trouble for this?
- Um, kind of. - Wow.
Because I am seeing other people.
I just assumed that was okay.
We've only been dating for a month.
I mean, we haven't even slept together.
No, we haven't.
And we've never had a conversation
about this being exclusive.
No, we haven't.
But, I like you a lot, Alex.
So, if you want to have that conversation,
let's have it.
Oh, it's Bianca.
You all right, Walt?
Your dome looks like a wet stone.
I'm good.
Well, wrap it up, we got to get this girl
back to school.
Wait a minute.
We're pulling the plug on artist day, mid-day?
Aren't we setting a bad example for the kinder?
Don't make me be the responsible one,
we'll end up in Vegas.
Well, let's at least give her a game plan,
so she can deal with the little monster.
What do you got?
In her picture, I noticed she had a ponytail.
Clip it, bring me a trophy.
You hate people with hair.
I don't love them.
I've turned the corner here.
What Ben's done is exquisite.
Terrific, can you not undo work?
No, no, no, look at this ground.
It's gorgeous.
I should have gone to med school.
Shouldn't we kill a fuse first?
Gary, I'm a professional here.
I know what I'm doing, okay, relax.
[Electrical crackling] Oh, oh, ooh.
I'm feeling that. Little help here.
Broom me, Gary, broom me, broom me.
Ow! [Groans]
That's marvelous.
Ooh, I'm not even mad.
I think I saw my grandma.
Hey, you.
How did he take it?
Surprisingly well.
Well, he does see death every day,
because he's a horrible doctor.
So, uh, how'd you leave things?
He's taking me to dinner Saturday night,
for my birthday.
So you can break up with him again
in a more public place?
We didn't break up.
He never technically cheated, because we weren't
officially exclusive.
But now you are?
Yeah, we are.
In fact, if you and I had kissed
the other night, it wouldn't have been a big deal.
Wow.
Go fix the light, please.
Is it me or do these nachos
have less cheese than the last round?
Well, you got that quesadilla chaser coming,
I'm sure you'll be fine.
Nope, I know my body. I'm good.
Let's get you back to school.
Charlie.
Mrs. Roberts, hi.
Why weren't you in class this morning?
Artist day?
What were you thinking?
Have you ever felt disconnected
from your original premise?
I'm talking to the girl.
It was really Walt's idea, I just thought it sounded...
Charlie.
I don't know.
Mrs. Roberts said you might be getting picked on,
what is this girl doing?
You know, just the normal stuff.
But it's cool, Walt and aunt screwsie
gave me some ideas on how to handle it.
This brain trust? No.
You're taking the high road.
Am I in any position to ask for some tums?
I'm very uncomfortable.
That was fun, right?
Yeah.
That waiter really loved singing you happy birthday.
The scatting was a little much.
♪ happy bah-bee-bo bah-bay-bee-boo birthday ♪
yeah, you got to stop that, otherwise
you're never going to make it past this porch.
Are we talking about the long-awaited green light?
[Deep voice] Oh, yeah.
- All: Surprise! - [Gasps]
You should see the look on both your faces.
Oh, really?
I told you. Didn't want a party.
And I read the subtext between those words.
Look at what I have here for you.
Music, people, a party.
Just step into your new life.
Come eat a tongan.
What... What is Charlie drinking?
It's fine, screwsie's watching her.
Excuse me.
You, me, upstairs, now.
I'll admit, it's not how I saw the night ending...
- Just go. - Oh, you're tickling me.
Okay, how do you like to fight in the bedroom?
Lights on or lights off?
Why are you taking your boots off?
Oh, I'm mma... Mixed martial arts.
Oh, do you need a second to change into your gi?
Yeah, I'm going to knock those fancy words
right out of you.
Club-wrestled 165 at dartmouth, baby.
You still have your singlet?
Yeah, going to wear it for Alex later.
Okay, that's not that hot.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
What?
What is the decorative theme of this room?
Deal-breaker?
What's the opposite of erotic?
This fella.
I mean, look, I'm a surgeon.
I'm trained to perform under pressure,
but how's a guy supposed to get it done in here?
At least you got your excuses lined up.
Is this a heating pad?
- Still warm? - Yeah.
Alex, come on.
- Come on. - Jump in.
No, that's okay, hi.
Grab screwsie's drum.
We're not at work, don't be a fun sponge.
Okay, come on, there's no wrong way to do this.
Okay.
Okay, that's wrong.
Cup your hands.
That's it, that's good.
Hey screwsie, you got a pasty admirer at 2 o'clock.
- Hi, Gary. - Ah!
Ah, damn it, I missed it.
I'm all good.
No, it's just a birdcage.
I don't think she actually has a bird.
Doesn't that make it worse?
Yep.
What's going on here?
I think we can rule out anything sexual.
I wasn't expecting...
Men, ever.
All right, that is enough, you two.
Oh, my God.
Are those kids down there?
And are they tagging your lawn?
"J-l-b-r-d"?
Maybe it's an abbreviation?
J-lo brings...
Jailbird, it's jailbird.
Who's a jailbird?
Oh, your husband's a jailbird.
Isn't that what Nicole calls you at school?
Is that what they've been saying?
And texting and posting, and now spray painting.
Mom, where you going?
To pay her parents a visit.
Are you going to fight them?
High road, sweetie.
I'm a lawyer, my words hit like punches.
You know what else hits like punches?
Punches.
Hey, big man, come on.
What are you doing?
Defending your child's honor with the only thing
left in your lame transition kitchen... eggs.
Bring me her hair.
Yeah!
Yeah, sexually frustrated Ben, or...
My lady.
Oh, thank you.
Hey, do you want to go back to my place?
- What? - What's that?
Nothing.
All right, two eggs left, you ladies in?
Come on, jailbird, give it your best shot.
Jailbird!
All: Jailbird! Jailbird! Jailbird! Jailbird!
[Chanting]
All: Yeah!
- Run! - Okay!
Okay, okay, we did it.
I know you had a bad year, but how was your birthday?
Disaster.
Bad dinner with Ben, huh?
No, I'm talking about the riot in my street.
Just getting started, after-party's at my place.
Yeah, I don't think we're gonna make that.
- There you are. - What the hell happened to you?
Where's your shoe?
Carol yelled, "po-po," and pushed me into a bush.
Let's get you inside.
I'd like that.
I'd like that a lot.
Don't let the birdcage get in your head.
All right, my place, big party.
Guys?
Nice one, Carol.
Street music, the purest union of art and commerce.
Perfect way to conclude another artist day.
Excuse me.
Oh.
Hey!
I think I took more than I dropped. Be cool.
Sweet. Drinks on you.