1 00:00:03,378 --> 00:00:05,462 Oh, my God, I love this chicken. 2 00:00:05,672 --> 00:00:10,426 Oh, you know what they say, "The best things in life are free." 3 00:00:10,635 --> 00:00:13,095 You're right. I eat your food a lot. How about this? 4 00:00:13,304 --> 00:00:15,264 You can raid my fridge any time you want. 5 00:00:15,473 --> 00:00:16,807 Oh, that's very kind of you. 6 00:00:17,017 --> 00:00:20,060 Next time I have a hankering to wash down a D-cell battery... 7 00:00:20,270 --> 00:00:23,147 ...with a jar of old pickle juice, I'll come a-knocking. 8 00:00:24,482 --> 00:00:27,151 Hey, Raj, you didn't send your RSVP in. 9 00:00:27,360 --> 00:00:29,820 I'm supposed to ask you if you're bringing someone. 10 00:00:30,030 --> 00:00:31,113 I'll let you know. 11 00:00:31,322 --> 00:00:33,991 Could you make it soon? There's a battle over seating. 12 00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:38,203 In one corner, Bernadette's mom. In the other three, mine. 13 00:00:39,039 --> 00:00:41,999 Yeah, I hate wedding receptions. I wish the bride and groom... 14 00:00:42,208 --> 00:00:44,001 ...would take a cue from Bilbo Baggins. 15 00:00:44,210 --> 00:00:47,129 Slip on the ring, disappear, and everyone goes home. 16 00:00:47,672 --> 00:00:49,965 Oh, you liked Professor Geyser's wedding. 17 00:00:50,550 --> 00:00:52,468 They had a make-your-own-sundae bar. 18 00:00:52,677 --> 00:00:54,845 Oh, that was a night to remember. 19 00:00:55,055 --> 00:00:58,974 Do you know, on one trip, I just had a bowl of nuts. 20 00:00:59,559 --> 00:01:02,061 Anyway, you gotta let me know if you have a plus-one. 21 00:01:02,270 --> 00:01:04,563 If not, my mom's trying to sneak in the doctor... 22 00:01:04,773 --> 00:01:06,648 ...who sucked the fat out of her neck. 23 00:01:10,695 --> 00:01:11,737 All right, uh, fine. 24 00:01:11,946 --> 00:01:13,906 I'm coming and I'm bringing somebody. 25 00:01:14,115 --> 00:01:15,449 Koothrappali plus one. 26 00:01:15,658 --> 00:01:18,494 - Who are you bringing? - Who are you bringing? 27 00:01:18,703 --> 00:01:20,746 He's bringing me. Who are you bringing? 28 00:01:20,955 --> 00:01:24,416 Wow, what a bunch of Nosey O'Donnells. 29 00:01:25,126 --> 00:01:26,752 Come on, who is it? 30 00:01:26,961 --> 00:01:30,798 I'm not telling. I'm from Asia. I'm mysterious. Deal with it. 31 00:01:32,133 --> 00:01:34,593 Howard, are you having a make-your-own-sundae bar? 32 00:01:34,803 --> 00:01:36,512 Uh, I don't think so. 33 00:01:36,721 --> 00:01:39,556 Well, you should. Fifty percent of marriages end in divorce. 34 00:01:39,766 --> 00:01:43,268 But 100 percent of make-your-own-sundae bars end in happiness. 35 00:02:11,756 --> 00:02:15,759 - Hello, Mommy, Daddy. How are you? - Pretty good, can't complain. 36 00:02:15,969 --> 00:02:19,096 Oh, I'm sure you can. Just give it a minute. 37 00:02:19,889 --> 00:02:21,306 Listen, uh... 38 00:02:21,516 --> 00:02:23,308 There's something I want to talk to you about. 39 00:02:23,518 --> 00:02:27,479 I wasn't ready until now but I think it's time. 40 00:02:27,689 --> 00:02:28,897 It's finally happening. 41 00:02:29,107 --> 00:02:31,400 You're coming out of the closet, aren't you? 42 00:02:32,819 --> 00:02:35,487 We love you and we accept your alternate lifestyle. 43 00:02:35,697 --> 00:02:38,782 Just keep it to yourself. 44 00:02:39,325 --> 00:02:41,368 No, I'm not gay. 45 00:02:42,453 --> 00:02:44,621 If anything, I'm metrosexual. 46 00:02:44,831 --> 00:02:46,331 What's that? 47 00:02:46,541 --> 00:02:49,835 It means I like women as well as their skin-care products. 48 00:02:50,336 --> 00:02:51,920 Well, if you're not coming out... 49 00:02:52,130 --> 00:02:54,423 ...why did you call us during the cricket semi-finals? 50 00:02:54,632 --> 00:02:58,510 I'm tired of trying to meet someone... 51 00:02:58,720 --> 00:03:01,513 ...and I think I'd like you to help me find a... 52 00:03:01,723 --> 00:03:03,056 A wife. 53 00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:06,894 And just to clarify, a female wife? 54 00:03:07,103 --> 00:03:09,313 Yes! 55 00:03:09,522 --> 00:03:12,107 Matchmaking. Very smart move, son. 56 00:03:12,317 --> 00:03:15,110 Much better than marrying for love. 57 00:03:19,908 --> 00:03:22,534 We married for love. 58 00:03:22,744 --> 00:03:25,287 And it's been wonderful. 59 00:03:28,374 --> 00:03:31,543 Quantum physics makes me so happy. 60 00:03:32,170 --> 00:03:33,420 Yeah? I'm glad. 61 00:03:33,630 --> 00:03:35,839 It's like looking at the universe naked. 62 00:03:44,933 --> 00:03:47,059 - Hi. Guys got a minute? - Sure, what's up? 63 00:03:47,268 --> 00:03:50,187 I was thinking about Sheldon's little joke the other night... 64 00:03:50,396 --> 00:03:53,649 - ...about me eating all your food. - Oh, that was no joke. 65 00:03:54,943 --> 00:03:58,904 But I understand your confusion as I am our group's resident cutup. 66 00:03:59,948 --> 00:04:02,574 I'm sorry, you are our resident cutup? 67 00:04:03,618 --> 00:04:04,910 Yes. 68 00:04:06,371 --> 00:04:07,955 - Prove it. - Knock-knock. 69 00:04:08,164 --> 00:04:09,623 - Who's there? - Interrupting physicist. 70 00:04:09,832 --> 00:04:12,292 - Interrupting phys... - Muon. Ha, ha. 71 00:04:15,213 --> 00:04:18,173 Anyway, I got a little residual check from my commercial. 72 00:04:18,383 --> 00:04:22,344 And I thought, "How about I get the guys a little thank-you to pay them back?" 73 00:04:22,553 --> 00:04:25,055 So, Sheldon... Ta-da. 74 00:04:26,516 --> 00:04:30,602 A vintage, mint-in-box 1975 Mego Star Trek Transporter... 75 00:04:30,812 --> 00:04:34,022 ...with real transporter action. Hot darn! 76 00:04:35,191 --> 00:04:38,151 - Where did you get that? - From Stuart at the comic-book store. 77 00:04:38,361 --> 00:04:40,654 You went to the comic-book store by yourself? 78 00:04:40,863 --> 00:04:42,489 Yeah. It was fun. 79 00:04:42,699 --> 00:04:46,076 I walked in and two different guys got asthma attacks. 80 00:04:47,829 --> 00:04:49,288 Felt pretty good. 81 00:04:49,497 --> 00:04:51,790 Well, this calls for an expression of gratitude. 82 00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:54,626 Ooh, am I about to get a rare Sheldon Cooper hug? 83 00:04:54,836 --> 00:04:56,962 No, not this time. Then they wouldn't be special. 84 00:04:57,171 --> 00:04:59,214 Click. Thanks, Penny. 85 00:05:00,133 --> 00:05:01,925 You're welcome. 86 00:05:02,135 --> 00:05:04,886 Don't worry, I didn't forget about you. 87 00:05:05,096 --> 00:05:08,849 Leonard, I got you a label-maker. 88 00:05:15,565 --> 00:05:17,482 Wow. 89 00:05:18,234 --> 00:05:19,401 No, it's great. 90 00:05:19,610 --> 00:05:22,446 - Also, uh, mint-in-box. - Mm. 91 00:05:22,655 --> 00:05:27,075 - And I got you a Transporter too! - Awesome! 92 00:05:30,121 --> 00:05:33,707 Look, it was actually designed for my vintage Mr. Spock action figure. 93 00:05:33,916 --> 00:05:35,917 Oh, that's great. Open it and put him in there. 94 00:05:36,127 --> 00:05:37,878 - Open it? - No, good Lord, no. 95 00:05:39,047 --> 00:05:40,172 Why? They're just toys. 96 00:05:40,381 --> 00:05:42,341 - Collectibles. - They're mint-in-box. 97 00:05:42,550 --> 00:05:44,134 Can't we open one up and take a look? 98 00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:46,178 - Aah! - No, don't! 99 00:05:46,387 --> 00:05:49,473 Once you open the box, it loses its value. 100 00:05:49,682 --> 00:05:53,727 Yeah, yeah. My mom gave me the same lecture about my virginity. 101 00:05:55,772 --> 00:05:59,232 Gotta tell you, it was a lot more fun taking it out and playing with it. 102 00:06:02,111 --> 00:06:04,529 You sure you want us here when you meet this woman? 103 00:06:04,739 --> 00:06:08,867 Oh, yes. In my culture, it's expected to have a chaperone to oversee a first date. 104 00:06:09,077 --> 00:06:12,204 I want to make a good impression. No offense, but with you here... 105 00:06:12,413 --> 00:06:14,581 ...I look like I'm 6'2". 106 00:06:16,584 --> 00:06:19,378 The nuns always chaperoned the dances at my high school. 107 00:06:19,587 --> 00:06:22,172 They used to make us leave room between us for the Holy Spirit. 108 00:06:22,382 --> 00:06:23,423 Hmm. 109 00:06:23,633 --> 00:06:27,969 Hindus do the same thing. Except they leave room for a cow. Ha, ha. 110 00:06:28,763 --> 00:06:30,889 Listen, I love your charming racist humor. 111 00:06:31,099 --> 00:06:33,934 But any chance you could not mock my religion while she's here? 112 00:06:34,143 --> 00:06:38,230 - You made fun of me for eating lox. - Your people don't worship lox. 113 00:06:38,439 --> 00:06:40,982 Clearly you've never been to brunch with my cousins. 114 00:06:41,984 --> 00:06:44,277 So arranged marriages, the parents just decide... 115 00:06:44,487 --> 00:06:45,821 ...and then you get married? 116 00:06:46,030 --> 00:06:49,741 Oh, no, no. I get a say in it. I'm sure whoever shows up will be better company... 117 00:06:49,951 --> 00:06:53,703 ...than the threesome I've been having with Aunt Jemima and Mrs. Butterworth. 118 00:06:55,998 --> 00:06:57,457 Excuse me, are you Rajesh? 119 00:06:57,667 --> 00:06:59,960 Oh, yes. You must be Lakshmi. 120 00:07:00,169 --> 00:07:02,170 - Uh, nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you too. 121 00:07:02,380 --> 00:07:05,465 Oh, uh, these are my friends. Uh, this is Bernadette. 122 00:07:05,675 --> 00:07:07,008 - Hello. - Uh, and this is Howard. 123 00:07:07,218 --> 00:07:08,552 - Nice to meet you. - You too. 124 00:07:08,761 --> 00:07:10,720 Please, have a seat. 125 00:07:11,264 --> 00:07:13,140 I'm thinking double wedding. 126 00:07:18,062 --> 00:07:20,272 Dr. Cooper. 127 00:07:22,692 --> 00:07:24,734 Dr. Cooper? 128 00:07:26,028 --> 00:07:27,279 Is someone there? 129 00:07:27,488 --> 00:07:29,364 Down here. On your desk. 130 00:07:34,328 --> 00:07:37,789 - Spock? - I need to speak with you. 131 00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:41,293 Fascinating. 132 00:07:41,502 --> 00:07:44,796 The only logical explanation is that this is a dream. 133 00:07:45,006 --> 00:07:47,549 It is not the only logical explanation. 134 00:07:47,758 --> 00:07:49,926 For example, you could be hallucinating... 135 00:07:50,136 --> 00:07:54,598 ...after being hit on the head by, say, a coconut. 136 00:07:56,392 --> 00:07:58,393 Was I hit on the head by a coconut? 137 00:07:58,603 --> 00:08:02,022 I am not going to dignify that with a response. 138 00:08:03,024 --> 00:08:04,357 Now to the matter at hand. 139 00:08:04,567 --> 00:08:07,319 You need to play with the Transporter toy. 140 00:08:07,528 --> 00:08:09,988 - But it's mint-in-box. - Yes. 141 00:08:10,198 --> 00:08:12,491 And to open it would destroy its value. 142 00:08:12,700 --> 00:08:15,035 But remember, like me... 143 00:08:15,411 --> 00:08:17,037 ...you also have a human half. 144 00:08:17,872 --> 00:08:20,957 Well, I'm not going to dignify that with a response. 145 00:08:21,167 --> 00:08:23,335 Consider this. 146 00:08:23,794 --> 00:08:26,838 - What is the purpose of a toy? - To be played with. 147 00:08:27,048 --> 00:08:29,674 Therefore, to not play with it would be...? 148 00:08:29,884 --> 00:08:33,845 Illogical. Oh, damn it, Spock, you're right. 149 00:08:35,056 --> 00:08:36,264 I'll do it. 150 00:08:36,474 --> 00:08:38,475 Sheldon, wait. 151 00:08:39,810 --> 00:08:41,186 You have to wake up first. 152 00:08:41,812 --> 00:08:43,271 Oh, of course. 153 00:08:43,481 --> 00:08:46,441 Set phasers to "Dumb," right? Ha, ha. 154 00:08:47,735 --> 00:08:49,110 Goodie, goodie, goodie. 155 00:08:51,572 --> 00:08:56,076 This is wrong, this is wrong. I'm so excited, but this is wrong. 156 00:08:58,663 --> 00:09:00,455 I'm gonna do it. 157 00:09:00,665 --> 00:09:02,457 I'm doing it. 158 00:09:02,667 --> 00:09:04,334 I did it. 159 00:09:07,713 --> 00:09:08,797 Oh. 160 00:09:09,006 --> 00:09:11,341 That's what I always thought 1975 smelled like. 161 00:09:15,471 --> 00:09:17,931 One to beam down, Mr. Scott. 162 00:09:18,140 --> 00:09:20,183 Aye, aye, Mr. Spock. 163 00:09:20,393 --> 00:09:22,477 Energize. 164 00:09:22,979 --> 00:09:24,479 Aah. 165 00:09:25,773 --> 00:09:27,816 Energize. 166 00:09:39,287 --> 00:09:41,079 Don't be broken. 167 00:09:41,289 --> 00:09:44,040 Oh. Please, don't be broken. 168 00:09:45,126 --> 00:09:47,252 What did you make me do? 169 00:09:48,671 --> 00:09:52,257 Okay, okay. Think. 170 00:09:58,222 --> 00:10:00,473 It's only logical. 171 00:10:04,687 --> 00:10:06,730 My goodness, that was delicious. 172 00:10:06,939 --> 00:10:11,234 Well, I hope you saved room for chocolate lava cake. 173 00:10:11,444 --> 00:10:12,652 Impressive. 174 00:10:12,862 --> 00:10:14,946 What goes into making something like that? 175 00:10:15,156 --> 00:10:17,949 Well, you start out by trying to make chocolate soufflé. 176 00:10:18,159 --> 00:10:19,659 And when it falls, you panic... 177 00:10:19,869 --> 00:10:22,370 ...quickly change the name, and voilà, lava cake. 178 00:10:23,748 --> 00:10:26,833 I bet our parents are dying to know how things are going here. 179 00:10:27,043 --> 00:10:29,502 Well, let's see. 180 00:10:30,588 --> 00:10:32,005 Yep, three missed calls. 181 00:10:32,214 --> 00:10:35,133 Four missed calls, two text messages, and a failed video chat. 182 00:10:35,343 --> 00:10:37,469 - I win. - Ha, ha. 183 00:10:37,678 --> 00:10:40,221 So, what are we going to tell them? 184 00:10:41,057 --> 00:10:43,975 - I'd like to tell them things are going well. - Me too. 185 00:10:44,185 --> 00:10:45,810 But before we get their hopes up... 186 00:10:46,020 --> 00:10:48,855 ...we should probably make sure we're on the same page. 187 00:10:49,065 --> 00:10:50,357 Okay. 188 00:10:50,566 --> 00:10:52,859 What page are you on? 189 00:10:53,069 --> 00:10:56,655 I'm on the one where I'm under a lot of pressure from my parents... 190 00:10:56,864 --> 00:10:59,574 ...to get married and settle down and have a family. 191 00:10:59,784 --> 00:11:03,119 And I'm going to do it so they don't find out I'm gay. 192 00:11:05,873 --> 00:11:07,332 Say again? 193 00:11:07,541 --> 00:11:08,708 I'm gay. 194 00:11:09,210 --> 00:11:10,669 Like... 195 00:11:10,878 --> 00:11:13,588 Dude-on-dude, but with women? 196 00:11:14,382 --> 00:11:16,841 I know a fake marriage isn't an honest way to live... 197 00:11:17,051 --> 00:11:20,512 ...but you, of all people, should know how difficult it is to come out. 198 00:11:20,721 --> 00:11:23,348 Why me "of all people"? 199 00:11:23,557 --> 00:11:26,184 Well, there's a rumor back in New Delhi that you're... 200 00:11:26,394 --> 00:11:27,519 How shall we say? 201 00:11:27,728 --> 00:11:29,896 ...comfortable in a sari. 202 00:11:30,481 --> 00:11:33,024 - I'm not gay. - Really? 203 00:11:33,234 --> 00:11:35,985 The chocolate lava cake, the little soaps in the bathroom. 204 00:11:36,195 --> 00:11:39,030 And I'm sorry, but you're wearing more perfume than I am. 205 00:11:39,740 --> 00:11:42,492 That's Unbreakable by Khloe and Lamar. 206 00:11:43,619 --> 00:11:46,079 And for your information, it's unisex. 207 00:11:47,498 --> 00:11:50,041 Fill in the blank: "I love the nightlife..." 208 00:11:50,251 --> 00:11:52,085 - I like to boogie. - Got you. 209 00:11:52,294 --> 00:11:55,672 With women. I like to boogie with women. 210 00:11:56,632 --> 00:12:00,260 That's disappointing. You were exactly the kind of phony-baloney husband... 211 00:12:00,469 --> 00:12:01,928 ...I was looking for. 212 00:12:02,763 --> 00:12:03,972 Thank you. 213 00:12:04,181 --> 00:12:07,267 And once again, my baloney likes girls. 214 00:12:09,186 --> 00:12:12,147 Wait, wait. You don't wanna put a bite of that in your mouth... 215 00:12:12,356 --> 00:12:15,483 ...without trying my homemade Chantilly cream. 216 00:12:16,068 --> 00:12:18,111 Yeah, okay, that time I heard it. 217 00:12:31,333 --> 00:12:33,835 Oh, dear. 218 00:12:34,336 --> 00:12:38,131 Two suns and no sunscreen. 219 00:12:42,094 --> 00:12:44,637 Hello again, Sheldon. 220 00:12:45,514 --> 00:12:48,266 What is it now, Tiny Spock? 221 00:12:48,476 --> 00:12:50,393 I am very disappointed in you. 222 00:12:50,603 --> 00:12:53,062 You broke your toy and switched it with Leonard's. 223 00:12:53,272 --> 00:12:55,398 You should be ashamed of yourself. 224 00:12:55,608 --> 00:12:57,609 You're the one who told me to play with it. 225 00:12:57,818 --> 00:13:01,946 If I told you to jump off the bridge of the Enterprise, would you do it? 226 00:13:02,156 --> 00:13:03,198 No. 227 00:13:03,407 --> 00:13:07,452 If I got on the bridge of the Enterprise, I would never ever leave. 228 00:13:07,661 --> 00:13:11,331 Trust me, it gets old after a while. 229 00:13:13,292 --> 00:13:14,959 You must right your wrong, Sheldon. 230 00:13:15,169 --> 00:13:17,670 Why? I got away with it. 231 00:13:17,880 --> 00:13:20,799 Leonard has his toy, and he's never going to open it. 232 00:13:21,008 --> 00:13:24,511 So he won't know it's broken. And I have a toy that isn't broken. 233 00:13:24,720 --> 00:13:25,970 Everybody's happy. 234 00:13:26,180 --> 00:13:27,764 Well, I am unhappy. 235 00:13:27,973 --> 00:13:30,725 I thought where you come from they don't have emotions. 236 00:13:31,477 --> 00:13:35,021 I come from a factory in Taiwan. 237 00:13:36,357 --> 00:13:37,690 Now, do the right thing. 238 00:13:38,192 --> 00:13:39,526 You know what you are? 239 00:13:39,735 --> 00:13:42,654 Well, you're a green-blooded buzzkill. 240 00:13:42,863 --> 00:13:44,948 Perhaps it's time you beam on out of here. 241 00:13:45,157 --> 00:13:48,034 Fine. I will just use the Transporter. 242 00:13:48,244 --> 00:13:51,746 Oh, right, you broke it. 243 00:13:53,249 --> 00:13:57,710 Very well. Cooper to Enterprise, one to beam up. 244 00:13:57,920 --> 00:13:59,045 Energize. 245 00:14:09,723 --> 00:14:13,184 Aah! Tiny Spock! Help! 246 00:14:18,941 --> 00:14:21,067 - Ready for lunch? - Yeah, one sec. Ahh. 247 00:14:22,278 --> 00:14:26,406 Oh, good. Ma would've killed me if she found out I broke my retainer. 248 00:14:28,450 --> 00:14:31,870 Hey, uh, can I run something by you? It's about Lakshmi. 249 00:14:32,079 --> 00:14:34,205 Yeah, sure. How are things going? 250 00:14:34,415 --> 00:14:35,582 We hit a couple of bumps. 251 00:14:35,791 --> 00:14:39,544 She lives over in Manhattan Beach, so it takes like an hour to get there. 252 00:14:39,795 --> 00:14:41,462 And she's a lesbian. 253 00:14:43,215 --> 00:14:44,549 What do you mean, a lesbian? 254 00:14:44,758 --> 00:14:48,052 Well, you know whenever you and I would try to hit on women in bars... 255 00:14:48,262 --> 00:14:51,264 ...they'd blow us off, then we'd tell each other they were gay? 256 00:14:51,473 --> 00:14:52,807 It's like that. 257 00:14:53,017 --> 00:14:55,310 Except this time, it's true. 258 00:14:56,478 --> 00:14:59,772 - Why did she even go out with you? - She was looking for a husband... 259 00:14:59,982 --> 00:15:01,774 ...so she can appear to be straight. 260 00:15:01,984 --> 00:15:05,361 And, you know, it sounded crazy to me at first... 261 00:15:05,738 --> 00:15:08,323 ...but I'm actually thinking about doing it. 262 00:15:08,866 --> 00:15:14,245 Okay. Well, so the reason that might sound crazy is because it's crazy! 263 00:15:14,788 --> 00:15:16,748 Look, Howard, you're in a relationship. 264 00:15:16,957 --> 00:15:18,666 You know you have to make compromises. 265 00:15:18,876 --> 00:15:22,128 Yes, but my compromises are about which bedspread to buy... 266 00:15:22,338 --> 00:15:25,757 ...or whose turn it is to do the laundry, Bernadette's or my mom's. 267 00:15:29,803 --> 00:15:32,847 It's a great deal. We both get our parents off our backs. 268 00:15:33,057 --> 00:15:35,475 I don't have to come home to an empty apartment. 269 00:15:35,684 --> 00:15:40,855 Plus, once I'm married, I can finally eat carbs again and let myself go. 270 00:15:41,523 --> 00:15:45,568 Why don't you tell your parents you wanna try to find someone else? 271 00:15:45,778 --> 00:15:48,571 You know, one who hasn't slept with more women than you. 272 00:15:49,698 --> 00:15:51,699 Because this one wants to marry me. 273 00:15:51,909 --> 00:15:54,202 I might never find another one who does. 274 00:15:54,411 --> 00:15:58,373 You're thinking about marrying someone you're never gonna have sex with? 275 00:15:59,166 --> 00:16:00,583 I can't believe your attitude. 276 00:16:00,793 --> 00:16:04,045 I thought you were in favor of gay people getting married. 277 00:16:04,880 --> 00:16:07,215 Yes, to other gay people. 278 00:16:08,217 --> 00:16:11,177 Do you hear how homophobic you sound? 279 00:16:51,969 --> 00:16:54,971 Oh, I don't want a broken toy. 280 00:16:57,641 --> 00:16:59,434 Nothing. 281 00:17:01,228 --> 00:17:04,022 - What? - Nothing. I said nothing. 282 00:17:04,231 --> 00:17:07,233 - That was weird. - Really? I don't even notice anymore. 283 00:17:08,402 --> 00:17:11,863 Ahh, I cannot believe you guys aren't gonna play with these. 284 00:17:12,072 --> 00:17:13,990 We told you, you don't. It's mint-in-box. 285 00:17:14,199 --> 00:17:16,117 I don't know. I just think it's a waste. 286 00:17:21,707 --> 00:17:24,250 Just relax, I'm just looking at the box. 287 00:17:24,460 --> 00:17:29,130 You should look with your eyes and not your muscular Nebraska man-hands. 288 00:17:30,424 --> 00:17:32,258 What is your problem? 289 00:17:32,468 --> 00:17:35,386 My problem is that I don't want you to break Leonard's toy... 290 00:17:35,596 --> 00:17:39,724 ...which you probably did by shaking it. She shook it, we all saw her. 291 00:17:40,267 --> 00:17:43,728 Leonard, I bought you this because I wanted you to have fun with it. 292 00:17:43,937 --> 00:17:46,189 I didn't want it to sit in this box. 293 00:17:46,398 --> 00:17:48,107 You know what? You're right. 294 00:17:48,776 --> 00:17:51,611 I mean, it's from you. I'm never gonna sell it. 295 00:17:51,820 --> 00:17:52,862 - I'm opening it. - Yes. 296 00:18:05,292 --> 00:18:06,959 - It's broken. - What? 297 00:18:07,169 --> 00:18:08,961 Oh, nice job, man-hands. 298 00:18:11,006 --> 00:18:12,298 I didn't break it. 299 00:18:12,508 --> 00:18:14,634 I guess Stuart sold it to me like this. 300 00:18:15,427 --> 00:18:17,261 Yes. Yes, he did. 301 00:18:17,471 --> 00:18:20,681 That is a perfectly satisfying and plausible explana... 302 00:18:20,891 --> 00:18:23,726 You know, let's all be mad at Stuart. 303 00:18:23,936 --> 00:18:26,771 I paid a lot for this. Let's take it over there and show him. 304 00:18:26,980 --> 00:18:28,439 Absolutely. 305 00:18:31,110 --> 00:18:32,151 Wait. 306 00:18:35,989 --> 00:18:38,116 It was me. 307 00:18:38,325 --> 00:18:40,326 I opened your toy... 308 00:18:40,536 --> 00:18:43,830 ...discovered it was broken, and didn't tell you. 309 00:18:45,207 --> 00:18:49,293 - Why would you open mine? - I didn't. That was a lie. 310 00:18:49,503 --> 00:18:52,130 I opened my own toy... 311 00:18:52,339 --> 00:18:55,424 ...and it was already broken, so I switched them. 312 00:18:55,634 --> 00:18:59,720 - Well, you should talk to Stuart. - I can't, because that was a lie. 313 00:19:01,431 --> 00:19:05,726 Yours was broken in an earthquake and that's a lie. 314 00:19:08,147 --> 00:19:09,689 What is the truth? 315 00:19:10,983 --> 00:19:14,026 My Mr. Spock doll came to me in a dream and forced me to open it. 316 00:19:14,236 --> 00:19:18,281 And when the toy broke, I switched it for yours. 317 00:19:18,490 --> 00:19:21,659 Later, he encouraged me to do the right thing and I defied him. 318 00:19:21,869 --> 00:19:24,745 And then I was attacked by a Gorn. 319 00:19:28,542 --> 00:19:30,877 - Okay, that I believe. - Mm. 320 00:19:31,086 --> 00:19:33,171 Leonard, Penny, I want you both to know... 321 00:19:33,380 --> 00:19:37,675 ...that I regret my actions towards the two of you. That's a lie. 322 00:19:38,886 --> 00:19:40,261 So is that one mine? 323 00:19:41,221 --> 00:19:43,347 - Yes. - Well, hand it over so I can open it. 324 00:19:43,974 --> 00:19:45,391 Okay. 325 00:19:45,601 --> 00:19:48,269 And, Leonard, even though I don't have one anymore... 326 00:19:48,478 --> 00:19:51,063 - ...I hope you have fun playing with it. - That's a lie? 327 00:19:51,273 --> 00:19:52,732 - A big, fat whopper. - Yeah. 328 00:19:54,568 --> 00:19:56,694 I hope it breaks. 329 00:20:02,851 --> 00:20:05,519 This is a treat. What brings you guys by? 330 00:20:06,062 --> 00:20:08,814 Raj, Howie told me what's going on with you and Lakshmi. 331 00:20:09,399 --> 00:20:12,610 - You told her? - I told everybody. 332 00:20:14,404 --> 00:20:17,364 We believe there's someone out there who'll love you for you. 333 00:20:17,574 --> 00:20:19,992 We kind of agreed to disagree on that one. 334 00:20:20,201 --> 00:20:23,412 But we both think you shouldn't marry this woman. 335 00:20:23,622 --> 00:20:26,290 So while I'm waiting for this mysterious perfect match... 336 00:20:26,499 --> 00:20:29,752 ...who may or may not exist, I'm supposed to just be alone? 337 00:20:29,961 --> 00:20:31,420 Not necessarily. 338 00:20:31,630 --> 00:20:35,966 I think we found someone for you to cuddle with. 339 00:20:37,427 --> 00:20:39,011 Oh, my goodness. 340 00:20:39,220 --> 00:20:43,015 Aren't you the cutest little Yorkie ever? 341 00:20:45,060 --> 00:20:46,810 - You got him for me? - Her. 342 00:20:47,020 --> 00:20:49,605 We thought you two would hit it off. 343 00:20:49,814 --> 00:20:53,317 I think we already have. Thank you guys so much. 344 00:20:53,526 --> 00:20:56,695 Let's go see if you fit in my man-purse. 345 00:20:59,074 --> 00:21:02,326 Heterosexual, my ass.