I don't want another hunter, Bobby. Why can't you do it?
Fine. What's his name?
Yeah, Garth, what do you got? Better drop a dime to the FBI.
Hey. You Dean?
I thought you'd be taller.
- What's with the scrawny guy? - Temp.
Willis. FBI.
No, Garth, not me, the FBI. The real FBI!
Oh, Marmaduke, you're crazy!
How are you still alive?
What'd I miss?
Long ago, in these very woods,
lived an old woman by the name...
of Jenny Greentree.
Forced out after her family was killed in a fire,
she lost everything. Some say, even her humanity.
- That is so sad. - It's a true story, Ray. Look.
She carved her initials into that tree right before she died.
Those are not her initials.
- So, how'd she die? - One night...
a blizzard hit.
She's cold. She's hungry.
Nowhere to go. No one to turn to.
Jenny Greentree froze to death...
right beneath that tree.
And her evil spirit has haunted these woods ever since.
Don't do that!
You guys should have seen your faces.
What the hell, Trevor? That's not funny, man.
To you!
Yo did you drive here, man?
Oh, please.
Look, why don't you take my phone, okay?
Call dad and bust me, why don't ya?
No, I'm just saying, you're wasted. You can't just drive...
I heard ya.
What was that?
What? No. Trevor, let's just sit down, okay? We'll...
You don't hear that?
Trevor, there's nothing there. All right? Let's just sit down, and we'll all just...
What the...? You got to run. You got to run!
Trevor!
I'm sorry, but what is your brother on?
Trevor!
Trev, come on. Stop being a tool.
Come on, Trev. Let's head back.
Dude. You can't...
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- Ladies. - What do you want, top gun?
For starters, I'd like a little respect.
Sorry, officer. We didn't realize.
All's forgiven. Take a seat.
Tell me about Trevor McCann. Other night up at widow's peak.
Okay.
It was weird 'cause he was super-drunk. Well, at first it was just like...
You. Go.
- It was Jenny Greentree. - Shut up.
Okay? She's just a dumb legend.
- Hold up. Who? - Jenny Greentree.
My dad says she really died in the woods.
And she's buried in the town cemetery.
All right, Jenny G. Your ganking days are over.
You've been garthed.
Ray, where are you?
You should be with your family right now.
Don't do anything stupid. Please.
Yeah, I clocked out. Put it to bed.
Problem solved.
And I'm headed your way, so fire up that hot tub.
No, I heart you more.
Unit 1-3. Abandoned vehicle out by widow's peak. ***
We got another body up here.
- Guy's torn to shreds. - What?!
No way. How is that possible? I garthed her!
All right, well, call us if he wakes up or, you know, anything.
Yeah, fine. Thanks for your help, Meg.
What a bitch.
- So, Cass is the same, then? - Yeah, down to the drool.
By the way, how is your custard?
It's all right. It's getting better.
Just wish it wasn't like the damn tape from "The Ring."
I mean, I feel like I'm okay 'cause I passed on the crazy.
No, you didn't. You heard what Cass said.
Let's not. You know what?
- Hello. - Hey, Dean. It's Garth.
- Wait. Who is this? - Garth. Garth Fitzgerald IV.
We worked together on that demon thing? You owe me one?
Oh, yeah. Yeah, how you doing, Garth?
I'm ready to cash in that chip, bra.
There's something brewing in Junction City, Kansas.
Well, this is it.
Gentlemen, this is corporal Brown.
Corporal James Brown. I'm shipping off to the a.F. Mañana.
I'm here to pay respects to my cousin as I will not be able to attend the funeral.
That must be terrible for your family. Losing two brothers so fast.
Yeah. Yeah. My aunt, she's...
She's real broken up about it.
Hey, doc, can we see both files, please?
- My wife. I'll be in my office. - Great.
You didn't say they were brothers.
Dude, I just found out about the other corpse, and started moving quick.
- I'm sucking up info as I go. - What, are you allergic to a suit?
No. I just look good in a uniform.
Yep. Same cause of death.
Right,
gutted at night in the woods, where legend says...
that the ghost of Jenny Greentree roams.
I already scanned for EMF.
- I guess mine must be broken again. - All right. I'm reading your mail.
- Ghost of Jenny... Whatever? - Greentree.
That's just it. I torched her bones.
Yeah, well, maybe she's got something still laying around.
Highly doubtful. Chick was homeless.
Plus, is it me, or is this less evil spirit, more monster chow?
- A werewolf? - Except the witness said...
that whatever was chasing victim numero uno was invisible.
- So, invisible ghost werewolf? - Why'd you think I called for backup?
Hey. Either of you ever heard of Thighslapper Ale?
Is that a stripper or a beverage?
Beverage for douchebags.
Number one microbrew in the pacific northwest.
But we're in Kansas.
Yeah, I rest my case. What's your point?
The owner is the dad to the dead brothers.
Right.
I'll can the uniform, go fed. See you at the brewery in 40.
He grows on you.
Agents. I'm Marie. I'm a manager.
Thanks for coming in on a Sunday.
We want to help. Anything we can do.
So all this is your dad's, huh?
And his friend... Randy Baxter. They own the place together now.
- "Now"? - Well, since Dale died.
Hold on, hold on, hold on.
You think I just come in late whenever I want?
I'm sorry, sir. It won't happen again.
- The "charming" Randy Baxter. - Tell you what...
Congratulations. You're headed for the graveyard shift.
Be one second late, and you're fired.
Yes, sir.
He's actually a really nice guy. It's just not easy being the axman.
So true.
My comrades got you covered, so if you'll excuse me.
Yeah, I'll go with you.
Mr. McCann?
We'll be brief. I promise.
Mr. McCann, is there any reason to believe your sons may have had enemies?
We were told they were animal attacks.
We just need to explore every possibility.
They got lots of friends.
No.
Well, do they work here with you? Like Marie does.
- Could someone have been jealous? - No. Marie's the only one.
Okay. No. There's no...
Jim. It's okay. It's okay.
Let him get some rest. I'll answer your questions.
Of course.
He blamed himself when Dale died, and now this.
- Why did he blame himself? - Well, Dale was sensitive.
But what do you do? Watch them 24/7?
You can't blame Dale's friends.
But your dad still feels bad.
And it doesn't help Dale's wife is suing us.
Really? Why?
She's angry and grieving, and this is America?
I knew Ray and Trevor.
Hell, I'm godfather to all four of Jim's kids.
Ray and Trevor loved their fun, but they'd never do anything crazy.
- No rugrats of your own? - Just Jim's.
They'd borrow my car, raid my fridge.
Now, the two of you started this company with a third partner. Right?
Yeah. Dale.
He passed away a few months ago.
- Passed away in the woods or...? - He took his own life.
- Sorry. - Well, he had problems for a long time.
Look, this is just a nightmare. First Dale, now this.
This was gonna be our big year.
We're selling Thighslapper to one of the largest distributors in the U.S.
It's been in the works for months.
News is gonna hit public pretty soon.
Well, that's the brass ring, huh?
Given other circumstances, yeah, we'd be celebrating right about now.
That looks great, sweetie.
- Hello? - There's grandpa. Hi.
I'll get some snacks. You should eat.
- Yeah. - Sit, dad.
Hey, what you drawing?
My world.
What is it, sweetie?
What is it?
Lillian!
There's a million things with claws go bump in the night.
Once you throw in "invisible," the number goes down.
"Afternoon delights"?
Really, Garth? Don't you think this place is a little...
You want a nice hot tub after a day at the office.
It's the little things.
I feel sad for those brewery dudes.
Spend your life beautifying the world through beer.
First a partner offs himself.
Now two kids get ganked by unknown freakadeek.
According to this, Dale wasn't just a partner.
- He was also the brewmaster. - "Brewmaster"?
He was widely considered a genius.
All right, that's it.
No microbrew is worth...
What was it... eight food magazine awards?
Beer's not food. It's whatever water is.
Thighslapper.
Wow, that's actually awesome.
Damn it, I'm not even mad anymore.
- Party on, Garth. - I don't even usually drink beer.
It messes with my depth perception.
Especially when I skinny-dip.
Hey, you guys want to hear a joke?
Listen to this. This is something interesting.
- Garth, are you drunk? - Dude, I just...
drank a whole beer. Of course I'm drunk.
- "Something interesting." - Right.
Hey, can I have some more Thighslapper?
- No. - No. Coffee for you, Tara Reid.
Coffee with kalhúa in it?
So, it says that Dale actually left the company two weeks before he died.
Or maybe he got pushed out 'cause he didn't want to sell.
I mean, Baxter said the deal's been in the works for months.
That would explain the widow. She's suing.
Maybe Dale had a bone to pick, and he's still picking it.
Right. So, maybe he's a spirito malo.
Unit to McCann residence. 698 Washburn.
"McCann residence," as in Jim McCann?
As in, let's hope for their sake our spirito ain't made it out of the woods.
All right. Let's go check it.
You two go. I'm gonna visit the widow.
- Well? - Place is clean.
My EMF is a nada. So is this one.
- Is that mine? - Yeah.
I borrowed it in case mine's broke.
So we still on invisible werewolf?
Maybe, maybe not. I can't get Tess to talk.
But I get the feeling she saw something.
- I'm gonna take a run at her. - A what?
Trust me. My special lady has twins.
- Mr. McCann? - "Special lady?"
Do you mind if we speak to Tess alone for just a sec?
It would really help.
Honey, we'll be right out there, okay?
Thanks.
Hi, Tess.
You want to tell me what you saw tonight?
Or maybe you'll talk to Mr. Fizzles!
I'm your friend! Yay!!
Garth. Why don't we put the sock away?
Mr. Fizzles wants to help Tess.
He wants to listen.
Mr. Fizzles is gonna go where the sun don't shine.
It was a monster.
I believe you, Tess.
Did it have claws?
How come you were the only one that could see it, Tess?
What else, Tess?
You sure?
'Cause Mr. Fizzles can sense when you're being a liar.
All right. That's enough, Mr. Fizzles.
I drank a grown-up drink.
Grown-up like coffee?
Well, you mean alcohol?
It was an accident. Don't let them arrest me, Mr. Fizzles.
Your husband did a lot of traveling, huh?
He went to all kinds of exotic places for the best ingredients.
Right. I've tried his work. It's great.
I hear you're not exactly on the best of terms with Dale's old partners.
Well, they sold his company right out from under him.
It's not about money. It's about...
It was his baby, you know?
- You sound pretty upset about it. - I'm furious.
I hate them.
- But then I think how Dale was. - What do you mean?
His friends left him behind, but you know what he said?
"I'm gonna send them a gift that shows I forgive them."
Do you have any idea what he sent them?
Bottle of saki. From one of his trips.
In a...
gorgeous box with writing.
He was so careful with it. Wouldn't let me touch it.
So, kid in the woods sees something that nobody else does.
Then Tess sees a monster, and Jim doesn't. What's the thread?
Well, certain mutants see infrared.
"Grown-up drinks."
Tess chugged her mom's, and vic number one was plastered.
Right. So...
Monster you got to be drunk to see.
Cool!
Also hard to fight.
Just getting in the zone. You are strictly on wine coolers.
Hey, I love those. Anything sweet.
So what's with the grody flask anyway?
- Lucky charm? - It's Bobby's.
No microbrew is worth... what was it... eight...
Really?
'Cause...
You think there's a possibility that Bobby's riding your wave?
No, we gave him a hunter's wake.
Yeah, I burned my cousin Brandon, he stayed stuck.
And they got ghosts in India, and they cremate everybody over there.
It's just instinct, but maybe there is EMF around here.
It just ain't the job.
All right, we're not gonna talk about this, okay? Not in the middle of work.
Sorry.
Just hope that fire did the trick.
Hey, Sam.
Yeah. Got it. We're on our way.
Here it is.
Wait a second.
- Someone's been sampling the goods. - Oh, you don't say?
Hey, check it out.
God, I love paranoid people. See if you can get on.
Okay.
All right, so, first death was, what, four months ago? Yeah?
And Trevor McCann. Patient zero.
So, what did he let out of that bottle?
Nothing there.
That we can see.
- What, are you kidding me? - Tick-tock.
I mean, can you even get drunk anymore?
It's kind of like drinking a vitamin for you, right?
Shut up.
Holy...
All right. Party time.
- Okay. - Rewind and go.
So, he let that thing out of the box,
and it must have just followed him to the place with all the thingies.
Yes. Yes.
That's smart.
I'm actually kind of drunk. What is this?
Me likey.
I miss these talks.
What the hell?!
Oh, man. Turn it off.
- Turn it off. - FBI, huh? You know what?
You can save it for the cops.
Mr. Baxter, listen. If you just let us explain, you...
911. What's your emergency?
Hello? Do you need assistance?
"Anata ga marou mono wa anata ka ra mo morau."
It says, "what you took will be taken from you."
Like, eye for an eye.
You with me?
"Kono bin niwa...
syoujou zuke no sake ga hu-in sarete iru."
Where'd you guys get this anyway?
Why? Is there something the matter?
Well, you're not superstitious, are you?
- Not at all. - No, no.
Because this says the bottle inside contains a Shojo.
- What's a Shojo? - An alcohol spirit.
Look, it's just an old myth. I wouldn't worry about it.
But they are not known for being friendly.
I got to go.
Hey. There you go. Thank you.
- Thank you. - Yeah.
Take care.
Garth.
Where's Baxter?
Dude's a lot heavier than he looks, F.Y.I.
But here. Thought you might want this back.
You have the C.E.O. of the douchiest microbrew in the U.S. gagged in your hot tub?
You really think that's gonna end well?
I'm not feeling the love.
All right. Shojo. Let's see what we can see.
What's Shojo?
Japanese booze monster.
I guess that would explain why you got to be drunk to see it.
Very poetic.
Creepy.
Okay. So, a Shojo is said to roam where there's lots of alcohol.
There's lore saying that, back in the old day, if you were plastered enough,
you could see one skulking around the breweries in Japan.
Yeah, but why is this one shredding brewers' kids?
Apparently, you can harness the will of a Shojo with the right spell box.
Then you basically have an attack dog that you can sic on whatever sort of...
personal revenge mission you want.
So Dale nabs one to punish his pals.
Send the bottle, sooner or later it's popped open.
Then you have a Shojo...
that will do whatever Dale compelled it to do right here on the box.
Wait. Except it's not killing the people that screwed him over.
Well, Dale's widow said the company was his baby.
So, if he really wanted his friends to feel what he felt...
He would take theirs.
- Well, their kids. Jim's, anyways. - And Baxter was the godfather.
All right, skip to how do we gank it.
- Good news. It is killable. - But...
But only with a samurai sword consecrated with a shinto blessing.
Well, that's not a silver lining.
The Shojo already cleaned house, right?
I mean, Marie's the last target standing, so...
I'll hit the pawn shops and look for the sword.
You babysit Marie.
Yikes. Sorry.
Don't worry about it.
Unless I've got nothing to be sorry for.
- Garth. - What's he talking about?
I'm concerned that Bobby might be haunting you.
I brought it up to Dean, and he shot me down.
Garth! Leave it alone.
- It's okay. - No, it's far from okay.
I've already tried contacting Bobby.
When that beer disappeared, I pulled out a talking board.
Without me?
You know, I figured, why drag you in...
when it's something I could just put to bed myself.
And?
And if he was there, I'd have told you.
Talk about this later. You follow Marie.
Let me borrow your keys.
- I'm trying to help you, Mr. Baxter. - And who the hell are you?
Now, I'm confused.
Dale goes to get you all where it hurts. The kids.
Only, you don't have any kids.
It still affects me. Believe me.
You want to tell me what you're hiding?
- Hiding? - Tell me this.
When was the last time you gave an employee three chances?
- Probably never. - Exactly. You're the axman, right?
Tough job, but, hey, somebody's got to.
So, how come you cut that slacker janitor so many breaks?
Yeah. Well, I googled.
Come to find his mother...
was your secretary way back in the day.
Of course, you were married to Mrs. B., so...
no way there's anything naughty there, right?
What do you need to get?
It don't matter what Dale knows about you,
'cause that thing out there killing the kids... it knows!
It didn't end well with his mom.
She made me swear never to tell him.
So much for that. Where is he?
He's at the brewery.
Working the graveyard shift.
Here.
If you care about that kid at all, don't call the cops on me just yet.
It says it's best to do this in a running spring.
Yeah. I got it.
Okay. We good?
- I'll do my best. - All right.
"Shichihukujin..."
Go.
"Hito no teni rori korekara...
seitoun yakuwari wo hatasu kono Ken wo tataer."
That's it.
All right. Thanks.
There.
- Thank you. - Yeah.
Hey, Garth.
Dean, Baxter's got a secret love child! The Shojo might come for him first!
- Slow down! - I'm trying to save lives here!
Are you drunk?
Damn it!
- Damn it. - Garth?
You dropped the phone, didn't you? Hello?
Garth!
Sorry, sorry, sorry. I'm here.
- Where the hell are you? - I'm in the brewery.
Garth?
Dean. It's here.
- Hey! What the hell?! - Come with me if you want to live!
- Yeah. - Hey, you good to drive?
Well, get a ride. It's at the brewery.
What?
There's another kid. Don't think. Move.
Wait! Wait, wait, wait! Taxi! Hey, hey, hey! Hey, hey, hey!
Stop! Hold on, hold on. National security!
Please!
Thank you, ma'am. Sorry. Thanks, guys.
Okay. Brewery. Step on it!
- What? - The brewery! Hurry!
Hurry. Hurry, hurry. Please?
Yeah, but I like to drive safe, you know.
Dude, what's going on? Who are you?
I'm the law, son. Now, follow me.
Are you drunk, dude?! Get away from me!
All right. I'll just shoot. Baxter is your father.
Baxter screwed Dale.
Dale roped this Japanese monster you can only see when you're drunk,
- and now it's here to kill you. - Wait a minute.
Baxter is my father?
- What are you looking at? - Damn it, run!
Dude, there's nothing there!
- Easy! - We got to get out of here, man. It's here!
Where's Garth?
- Who?! - Garth!
There was a guy, he got knocked out!
Oh, okay.
- Stay behind me. Stay behind me. - Okay, okay, okay.
- What, you can see it? - Yeah. I'm skunked. Just...
- Fire exit. On three. All right? - Okay.
Okay. So much for that.
Get back!
- Where is it?! - Swing right!
My right.
3:00, Dean!
6:00!
- You okay? - I'm alive?
- Yeah. - Sam?
- Yeah. - Where's Garth?
- Well, he's over this way. - Could you go get him?
All right.
What'd I miss?
This moved.
Bobby?
Are you here?
Come on, do something.
You sure you guys don't want to hang out?
Grab some brunch, maybe some brews?
Tempting but we better roll.
All right, well...
Yeah.
- Call me anytime. - All right.
- And you, Sam. - Yeah.
Come here.
Yeah. Thanks, Garth.
Sayonara, kemo sabes!
Nice ride.
You're right. He has grown on me.
All right. So, let's talk about it.
About what?
The talking board?
- That's fine. I get it, I guess. - No. Not that.
- Look, I heard you. - Heard me what?
What happened in the brewery, Dean?
Nothing. It was just my imagination.
Dean... Look, I know something happened.
I just want you to be straight with me.
The blade was across the room, and then it was in my hand.
And then my beer drank itself.
Oh, and then, that page magically appeared on the bed.
And then Bobby's book feel down,
and out popped the number of the guy who found Cass.
- Nothing, I'm sure. - Clearly.
Well, then, what, Sam? Is Bobby here or not?!
You know what I think, Dean?
I think that regular people, they see ones they lost everywhere, too.
- Yeah. Freaking ghosts! - Or they just miss them a lot.
I mean, they see a face in the crowd... we see a book falling off the table.
Same thing, Dean. I did the talking board. I ran plenty of EMF.
When that beer went poof, I went a little nuts.
Yeah, and why didn't you tell me?
Like I said, little nuts at the time.
All right, well, if it wasn't Bobby, then what Jedi'd that sword into my hand?
The Shojo slammed the door from across the room.
Maybe it was trying to grab the sword, too.
Right.
Right, I mean, if it was Bobby, he would let us know.
I mean, who knows more about being a ghost than Bobby?
- Instant Swayze, right? - Exactly.
Okay.
Okay, so your theory is that we're practically...
regular people about something for once.
All right.
Well, you want to grab some brunch and some brews?
No. I'm so hung over. Let's just hit the road.
All right.
Hang on.
There you are.
I'm right here, you idjit!
Balls!
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