1 00:00:03,753 --> 00:00:06,755 So I got the craziest e-mail this morning. 2 00:00:06,923 --> 00:00:11,719 I don't mean to burst your bubble, but penile-enlargement pills do not work. 3 00:00:13,096 --> 00:00:15,055 Believe me, I know. 4 00:00:16,266 --> 00:00:19,143 The e-mail I got was from the office of Stephen Hawking. 5 00:00:19,310 --> 00:00:20,728 - You're kidding. - Why? 6 00:00:20,895 --> 00:00:22,938 He's coming to the university to lecture... 7 00:00:23,106 --> 00:00:27,192 ...and he's looking for an engineer to maintain equipment on his wheelchair. 8 00:00:27,360 --> 00:00:30,738 That's amazing. You'll be like his pit crew. 9 00:00:32,782 --> 00:00:36,076 A word of caution, I would not do your Stephen Hawking impression... 10 00:00:36,244 --> 00:00:37,995 ...in front of him. 11 00:00:38,788 --> 00:00:40,247 You're right. 12 00:00:42,417 --> 00:00:46,170 I suppose that could be considered offensive. 13 00:00:46,921 --> 00:00:49,339 Oh, boy. Oh, Sheldon's going to freak out. 14 00:00:49,507 --> 00:00:51,258 Yeah, he worships Hawking. 15 00:00:51,426 --> 00:00:55,387 I was thinking about bringing him along, so he can meet the great man. 16 00:00:55,555 --> 00:00:58,223 - That's really nice of you, Howard. - Lt's no big deal. 17 00:00:58,391 --> 00:01:01,643 Boy, a restraining order from Stephen Hawking. 18 00:01:02,312 --> 00:01:04,563 It'll look so nice next to the ones he's got... 19 00:01:04,731 --> 00:01:07,274 ...from Leonard Nimoy, Carl Sagan and Stan Lee. 20 00:01:08,610 --> 00:01:11,820 Leonard, do you recall when I said that I was going... 21 00:01:11,988 --> 00:01:15,074 ...to revolutionize understanding of the Higgs boson particle... 22 00:01:15,241 --> 00:01:18,786 ...and you said, "Sheldon, it's 2 a.m. Get out of my bedroom"? 23 00:01:19,746 --> 00:01:21,663 Like it was 10 hours ago. What about it? 24 00:01:21,831 --> 00:01:23,415 Well, I believe I've done it. 25 00:01:23,583 --> 00:01:25,709 I'm only saying "believe" to sound modest... 26 00:01:25,877 --> 00:01:28,128 ...because, sweet Sam Houston, I did it. 27 00:01:28,296 --> 00:01:30,297 - Really? - That's incredible. Oh, here. 28 00:01:30,465 --> 00:01:32,841 - Break out the math. - Oh, okay. Let me see this. 29 00:01:33,009 --> 00:01:37,679 All right, so this particle here is the boson moving forward in time. 30 00:01:37,847 --> 00:01:39,598 Now, I was thinking... 31 00:01:39,766 --> 00:01:43,227 Howard, you go ahead and eat. This isn't gonna make any sense to you. 32 00:01:45,230 --> 00:01:47,689 Sheldon, I have a working understanding of physics. 33 00:01:47,857 --> 00:01:50,484 Yeah, good for you. And don't stop working on it. 34 00:01:52,028 --> 00:01:53,487 You still going to tell him... 35 00:01:53,655 --> 00:01:55,572 - ...about you-know-who? - Yep. 36 00:01:55,740 --> 00:01:58,242 - Still gonna introduce him? - Not on your life. 37 00:02:25,186 --> 00:02:29,189 Please, please, please. Let me meet Hawking. 38 00:02:29,357 --> 00:02:32,317 - I told you no. - But I said I'm sorry. 39 00:02:32,485 --> 00:02:35,237 No, you said, "Would it help if I said 'I'm sorry'?" 40 00:02:36,447 --> 00:02:38,157 Well, and you never answered me. 41 00:02:38,324 --> 00:02:40,492 So who owes whom an apology now? 42 00:02:41,327 --> 00:02:43,287 Sheldon, you're a condescending jerk. 43 00:02:43,454 --> 00:02:46,707 Why on earth would I want to do something nice for you? 44 00:02:46,875 --> 00:02:48,917 To go to Jewish heaven? 45 00:02:50,837 --> 00:02:52,379 Jews don't have heaven. 46 00:02:52,547 --> 00:02:54,381 Well, then, to avoid Jewish hell? 47 00:02:54,549 --> 00:02:56,758 Have you met my mother? I live in Jewish hell. 48 00:02:57,760 --> 00:03:00,971 Howard, please. This is Stephen Hawking. 49 00:03:01,139 --> 00:03:04,183 Perhaps my only intellectual equal. 50 00:03:04,684 --> 00:03:06,476 You can't be serious. 51 00:03:06,644 --> 00:03:08,187 Try to put yourself in my place. 52 00:03:08,354 --> 00:03:11,106 Imagine you're the sole human being... 53 00:03:11,274 --> 00:03:13,984 ...living on a planet populated with nothing but dogs. 54 00:03:14,152 --> 00:03:18,655 And then it turns out there's another human being. 55 00:03:21,451 --> 00:03:25,204 Hang on. Are you saying the rest of us are dogs? 56 00:03:25,371 --> 00:03:27,789 I can see you're gonna take this the wrong way. 57 00:03:27,957 --> 00:03:29,208 Let me try again. 58 00:03:29,375 --> 00:03:31,460 Imagine you're the sole human being... 59 00:03:31,628 --> 00:03:35,047 ...living on a planet populated with nothing but chimps. 60 00:03:35,215 --> 00:03:36,298 Get out of my lab. 61 00:03:36,466 --> 00:03:38,675 Oh, now, they're so much smarter than dogs. 62 00:03:38,843 --> 00:03:41,303 Have you seen them on those little bicycles? 63 00:03:41,471 --> 00:03:43,597 Get out! 64 00:03:44,724 --> 00:03:46,642 - How about dolphins? - Out! 65 00:03:48,937 --> 00:03:51,355 So come on, how was the first day with Hawking? 66 00:03:51,522 --> 00:03:53,899 It was great. We talked about movies. 67 00:03:54,067 --> 00:03:55,484 Oh. 68 00:03:56,319 --> 00:03:59,071 - I showed him some card tricks. - Oh. 69 00:03:59,239 --> 00:04:01,490 He even let me read a couple pages from his new book. 70 00:04:01,658 --> 00:04:03,617 Oh... 71 00:04:05,161 --> 00:04:07,913 Something got you down there, bunky? 72 00:04:08,081 --> 00:04:11,083 Howard, please, I'm begging you. 73 00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:14,503 Raj, you're our group historian. Has Sheldon ever begged before? 74 00:04:14,671 --> 00:04:15,879 Three times. 75 00:04:16,047 --> 00:04:19,341 He begged the Fox network not to cancel Firefly. 76 00:04:19,926 --> 00:04:23,887 He begged the TNT network to cancel Babylon 5. 77 00:04:25,640 --> 00:04:28,350 And when he got food poisoning at the Rose Bowl parade... 78 00:04:28,518 --> 00:04:32,187 ...he begged a deity he doesn't believe in to end his life quickly. 79 00:04:33,481 --> 00:04:36,400 Do you understand how important Hawking is to me? 80 00:04:36,567 --> 00:04:41,238 When I was 6 years old, I dressed up as him for Halloween. 81 00:04:43,032 --> 00:04:44,825 - You're kidding. - No, sir. 82 00:04:44,993 --> 00:04:48,453 No, I took my dad's desk chair, attached a Speak & Spell to it... 83 00:04:48,621 --> 00:04:52,040 ...and made my sister push me up and down the block to trick-or-treat. 84 00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:58,338 Granted, most people thought I was R2-D2, but still, I got a lot of candy. 85 00:04:58,506 --> 00:05:01,925 You don't seem to be understanding the English word "no." 86 00:05:02,093 --> 00:05:04,052 Maybe a different language will help. 87 00:05:04,220 --> 00:05:11,059 Russian: Nyet. Chinese: Bú. Japanese: Lie. Klingon: Qo'. 88 00:05:11,227 --> 00:05:16,064 Binary coded ASCII: 0110111001101111. 89 00:05:18,818 --> 00:05:22,321 - It's actually 011011110... - No! 90 00:05:22,613 --> 00:05:24,906 I'm not asking for me. 91 00:05:25,074 --> 00:05:27,576 I'm asking for Hawking. 92 00:05:28,703 --> 00:05:32,122 Let me try gangster: Hells no. 93 00:05:35,793 --> 00:05:37,377 Okay, look. How about this? 94 00:05:37,545 --> 00:05:40,130 You just give him my paper on the Higgs boson. 95 00:05:40,298 --> 00:05:43,258 If he sees the breakthrough I've made, he'll reach out to me. 96 00:05:43,426 --> 00:05:46,053 - What if he doesn't? - Yeah, he will. He's really smart. 97 00:05:48,681 --> 00:05:50,515 That's an interesting idea. 98 00:05:50,683 --> 00:05:53,727 Why don't you give me a minute to talk it over with my friends? 99 00:05:53,895 --> 00:05:55,020 - How? - Walk away. 100 00:05:55,188 --> 00:05:56,813 Walking away! 101 00:06:05,573 --> 00:06:08,658 You do realize you own his ass right now. 102 00:06:08,826 --> 00:06:10,786 I do. 103 00:06:10,953 --> 00:06:12,829 You can make him do anything you want. 104 00:06:12,997 --> 00:06:16,625 Yeah, I know. I'm just trying to figure out how much I wanna punish him. 105 00:06:16,793 --> 00:06:18,001 Well, don't be too mean. 106 00:06:18,169 --> 00:06:19,961 Hey, I'm thinking about making... 107 00:06:20,129 --> 00:06:22,631 ...freshly brewed iced tea if anyone would like some. 108 00:06:22,799 --> 00:06:25,759 - I wouldn't mind a glass. - I wasn't talking to you. 109 00:06:28,096 --> 00:06:31,181 Bring him to his bony knees. 110 00:06:34,102 --> 00:06:35,310 Sheldon, come on back. 111 00:06:35,478 --> 00:06:37,479 Yes, yes! 112 00:06:41,984 --> 00:06:43,068 What did you decide? 113 00:06:44,112 --> 00:06:45,946 I'll give your paper to Hawking. 114 00:06:46,114 --> 00:06:48,240 Great. Thank you. Oh, that's terrific. 115 00:06:48,408 --> 00:06:53,537 But in exchange, I'd like you to do a few things for me. 116 00:06:53,704 --> 00:06:55,330 What kinds of things? 117 00:06:55,498 --> 00:07:00,085 Are you familiar with the 12 labors of Hercules? 118 00:07:01,879 --> 00:07:03,380 Of course. 119 00:07:03,548 --> 00:07:05,799 You should be so lucky. 120 00:07:08,678 --> 00:07:12,013 All right. What would you like me to do first? 121 00:07:12,181 --> 00:07:17,144 Well, I thought I'd start you off by polishing my belt buckles. 122 00:07:17,311 --> 00:07:21,648 By all means. Yeah, when I was a boy, I would polish my Mee-Maw's silver. 123 00:07:21,816 --> 00:07:25,402 And she would entertain me with stories about growing up in Oklahoma. 124 00:07:25,570 --> 00:07:26,653 Interesting woman. 125 00:07:26,821 --> 00:07:30,991 You know, she once killed a prairie dog with a gravy boat. 126 00:07:31,659 --> 00:07:33,827 That's nice. 127 00:07:40,543 --> 00:07:42,043 Whew. Heh. 128 00:07:43,880 --> 00:07:46,131 That's a lot of belt buckles. 129 00:07:46,966 --> 00:07:49,676 Funny thing is I only have one belt. 130 00:07:51,471 --> 00:07:53,096 Anyway, I'll let you get started. 131 00:07:53,264 --> 00:07:57,350 Oh, by the way, the little marks that look like water spots... 132 00:07:57,518 --> 00:08:00,145 ...I tend to stand too close to the urinal, so... 133 00:08:02,523 --> 00:08:06,026 What you're seeing there is splash-back. 134 00:08:07,445 --> 00:08:09,696 You make sissy on your belt buckles? 135 00:08:12,658 --> 00:08:15,785 Mee-Maw's forks never had that. 136 00:08:15,953 --> 00:08:19,831 Here is a black light to check them. For your own peace of mind... 137 00:08:19,999 --> 00:08:23,084 ...you might not wanna shine that around the rest of the room. 138 00:08:32,762 --> 00:08:35,096 Sheldon, these look great. 139 00:08:35,264 --> 00:08:37,974 I mean, they're like magnificent little crowns... 140 00:08:38,142 --> 00:08:40,852 ...to hang over my magnificent little jewels. 141 00:08:42,772 --> 00:08:44,481 How did you get them so shiny? 142 00:08:44,649 --> 00:08:47,067 Oh, I buffed them with Turtle wax. 143 00:08:47,235 --> 00:08:49,319 The man down at Pep Boys says from now on... 144 00:08:49,487 --> 00:08:52,405 ...the urine should just bead up and roll right off. 145 00:08:53,199 --> 00:08:56,117 Way to go the extra mile. Your Mee-Maw would be proud. 146 00:08:56,285 --> 00:08:58,828 My Mee-Maw must never know of this. 147 00:08:59,455 --> 00:09:01,623 Now will you give Professor Hawking my paper? 148 00:09:01,791 --> 00:09:04,000 Oh, my dear boy, no. Okay. 149 00:09:05,419 --> 00:09:11,007 Next, this is a sexy French maid costume I bought for Bernadette. 150 00:09:11,175 --> 00:09:12,968 I thought it might spice things up... 151 00:09:13,135 --> 00:09:15,887 ...and get her to dust my room at the same time, heh... 152 00:09:16,055 --> 00:09:18,848 ...but I was wrong and really wrong. 153 00:09:19,475 --> 00:09:21,059 You want me to return it for you? 154 00:09:21,227 --> 00:09:24,229 No, no, no, ma petite chérie. 155 00:09:39,537 --> 00:09:41,204 What are you all staring at? 156 00:09:41,372 --> 00:09:44,916 You ever seen a man try to get a meeting with Stephen Hawking before? 157 00:09:55,678 --> 00:09:58,179 - Hey. - Hello. 158 00:09:58,347 --> 00:10:01,141 It's not Saturday night. Why are you doing your laundry? 159 00:10:01,309 --> 00:10:04,644 This is not my laundry. 160 00:10:05,021 --> 00:10:09,733 Wow, are these Amy's? Kind of trashy. Good for her. 161 00:10:10,318 --> 00:10:12,611 - Those are Howard's. - Eww. 162 00:10:14,363 --> 00:10:19,200 Why are you washing Howard's man-panties? 163 00:10:19,368 --> 00:10:23,246 Because if I don't, he won't give my paper to Stephen Hawking. 164 00:10:23,414 --> 00:10:25,040 - He's a famous physicist... - Yeah. 165 00:10:25,207 --> 00:10:28,710 I know. He's the wheelchair dude who invented time. 166 00:10:31,839 --> 00:10:33,715 Close enough. 167 00:10:33,883 --> 00:10:36,760 Why doesn't Howard just introduce you to the guy? 168 00:10:36,927 --> 00:10:40,930 Because he's punishing me for being a, quote, "condescending jerk." 169 00:10:41,140 --> 00:10:43,558 You don't think I'm condescending, do you? 170 00:10:44,226 --> 00:10:46,519 - Well... - Oh, I'm sorry. 171 00:10:46,687 --> 00:10:48,938 - Condescending means... - I know what it means! 172 00:10:49,899 --> 00:10:52,734 And, yes, you love correcting people and putting them down. 173 00:10:52,902 --> 00:10:57,072 Au contraire, when I correct people, I am raising them up. 174 00:10:59,408 --> 00:11:01,743 You should know. I do it for you more than anyone. 175 00:11:04,038 --> 00:11:06,081 Come on, you do it to feel superior. 176 00:11:06,248 --> 00:11:09,459 I see that twinkle when someone says "who" instead of "whom"... 177 00:11:09,669 --> 00:11:12,754 ...or thinks the moon is a planet. 178 00:11:12,922 --> 00:11:16,675 Or Don Quixote is a book about a donkey named Hotay. 179 00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:20,428 See? There it is. There's that twinkle. 180 00:11:20,596 --> 00:11:23,223 Well, I can't help it. That's an involuntary twinkle. 181 00:11:24,475 --> 00:11:26,434 What do you want me to tell you, Sheldon? 182 00:11:26,936 --> 00:11:30,438 I want you to tell me that Howard is being mean to me for no reason. 183 00:11:30,940 --> 00:11:33,733 Fine. Howard is being mean to you for no reason. 184 00:11:34,235 --> 00:11:35,402 I knew it. 185 00:11:40,741 --> 00:11:43,243 - What's the matter? - Every time I spend the night... 186 00:11:43,411 --> 00:11:47,247 ...your mom slaps me on the behind and says, "Go get 'em." 187 00:11:48,290 --> 00:11:52,335 it's not her fault. She's getting hormone-replacement therapy. 188 00:11:54,797 --> 00:11:57,382 Makes her crazy horny. 189 00:11:58,801 --> 00:12:02,303 Check this out. I got Sheldon to wear the French maid's costume. 190 00:12:02,471 --> 00:12:04,389 My God, that's terrible. 191 00:12:04,557 --> 00:12:07,434 What? Hey, I gave you first crack at it. 192 00:12:08,060 --> 00:12:10,603 Why are you doing that? You're being mean to him. 193 00:12:10,771 --> 00:12:12,021 He's mean all the time. 194 00:12:12,189 --> 00:12:15,024 You've heard him tease me about not having a doctorate. 195 00:12:15,192 --> 00:12:18,653 You don't wanna get teased about that, get a doctorate. 196 00:12:20,406 --> 00:12:22,490 I have one. They're great. 197 00:12:24,034 --> 00:12:26,494 Come on. The man torments me. 198 00:12:26,662 --> 00:12:29,372 I'm letting him have a little taste of his own medicine. 199 00:12:29,540 --> 00:12:33,626 It's not the same. Sheldon doesn't know he's being mean. The part of his brain... 200 00:12:33,794 --> 00:12:37,130 ...that should know is getting a wedgie from the rest of his brain. 201 00:12:40,009 --> 00:12:43,136 Fine. I'll just make him do a couple more things, then I'll stop. 202 00:12:43,637 --> 00:12:45,013 No, you have to stop now. 203 00:12:45,556 --> 00:12:46,890 Bernadette! 204 00:12:47,057 --> 00:12:52,061 I wanna remind you, you promised to take me dress-shopping tomorrow! 205 00:12:52,229 --> 00:12:54,564 Oh, damn. 206 00:12:55,941 --> 00:12:58,943 I'm sorry, I can't make it! 207 00:12:59,111 --> 00:13:02,697 But Sheldon's gonna go with you! 208 00:13:09,205 --> 00:13:11,623 And that's the last thing you do to him. 209 00:13:15,795 --> 00:13:18,755 Sheldon! 210 00:13:19,340 --> 00:13:22,425 I need your help. 211 00:13:23,302 --> 00:13:25,094 What is it now, Mrs. Wolowitz? 212 00:13:25,262 --> 00:13:26,721 It's this dress. 213 00:13:26,889 --> 00:13:31,309 When I put my front in, my back pops out. 214 00:13:33,354 --> 00:13:38,107 When I put my back in, my front pops out. 215 00:13:38,317 --> 00:13:41,903 It's like trying to keep two dogs in a bathtub. 216 00:13:44,532 --> 00:13:46,199 What do you want me to do? 217 00:13:46,367 --> 00:13:48,451 We're gonna have to work as a team. 218 00:13:48,619 --> 00:13:52,914 Get in here, grab a handful, and start stuffing. 219 00:13:59,505 --> 00:14:02,257 I'm not sure how to do this. 220 00:14:02,424 --> 00:14:07,595 Lt's easy. Just pretend you're putting away a sleeping bag. 221 00:14:08,722 --> 00:14:13,059 Sleeping bags don't usually sweat this much, but okay. 222 00:14:14,019 --> 00:14:15,353 Now zip me up. 223 00:14:15,521 --> 00:14:20,024 Oh, if we squeeze you any tighter, you might turn into a diamond. 224 00:14:22,027 --> 00:14:23,486 You're right. 225 00:14:23,654 --> 00:14:25,572 Who am I kidding? 226 00:14:25,739 --> 00:14:28,616 You should've seen me when I was young, Sheldon. 227 00:14:28,784 --> 00:14:32,829 The fellas used to line up and bring me boxes of candy. 228 00:14:34,498 --> 00:14:37,250 Why did I eat it all? 229 00:14:40,170 --> 00:14:41,713 Would you hold me? 230 00:14:41,881 --> 00:14:45,174 Oh. No, you know, I'm not really the holding kind of... 231 00:14:45,342 --> 00:14:46,634 Oh! 232 00:14:50,514 --> 00:14:52,098 Oh, guys, I just remembered. 233 00:14:52,266 --> 00:14:55,351 I got you some Hawking souvenirs. 234 00:14:55,519 --> 00:14:56,603 What are these? 235 00:14:56,770 --> 00:14:58,771 Gears and springs from his wheelchair. 236 00:14:58,939 --> 00:15:00,023 Pretty cool, huh? 237 00:15:01,817 --> 00:15:03,484 Wow. That's amazing. 238 00:15:03,652 --> 00:15:05,945 Yeah, I made an adjustment on the motor drive... 239 00:15:06,113 --> 00:15:08,281 ...and when I was putting it back together... 240 00:15:08,449 --> 00:15:11,492 ...I could not for the life of me figure out where they went. 241 00:15:15,122 --> 00:15:16,205 I did it. 242 00:15:16,373 --> 00:15:18,416 Had to go to three clothing stores... 243 00:15:18,584 --> 00:15:23,046 ...but we finally found a dress that could envelop your mother. 244 00:15:24,465 --> 00:15:27,675 I should have sent you to the custom car cover place in Altadena. 245 00:15:27,843 --> 00:15:29,677 They have her pattern on file. 246 00:15:31,138 --> 00:15:32,722 Ha-ha. Humorous. 247 00:15:33,474 --> 00:15:37,185 Now, will you please present my paper to Professor Hawking? 248 00:15:37,353 --> 00:15:39,687 - I don't know. - Oh, for heaven's sake. 249 00:15:39,855 --> 00:15:43,024 I did your laundry. I pee-pee-proofed your belt buckles. 250 00:15:43,192 --> 00:15:47,570 I even sprained my wrist helping your mother lift her bosom. 251 00:15:52,493 --> 00:15:56,037 All right, Sheldon. There's only one thing left I want you to do. 252 00:15:56,205 --> 00:15:59,207 - Don't worry, it's an easy one. - Okay. 253 00:15:59,708 --> 00:16:01,042 Give me a compliment. 254 00:16:01,877 --> 00:16:03,211 Fine. 255 00:16:03,379 --> 00:16:04,963 You have very tiny hands. 256 00:16:08,509 --> 00:16:10,718 No. About my job. 257 00:16:10,886 --> 00:16:14,347 I want you to tell me I'm good at what I do. 258 00:16:15,057 --> 00:16:17,016 You're obviously good at what you do. 259 00:16:17,184 --> 00:16:20,103 Well, then, why are you always ripping on me? 260 00:16:20,270 --> 00:16:21,771 Oh, I understand the confusion. 261 00:16:21,981 --> 00:16:25,400 No. I have never said that you are not good at what you do. 262 00:16:25,901 --> 00:16:29,696 It's just that what you do is not worth doing. 263 00:16:35,119 --> 00:16:38,538 It's nicer than anything he's ever said to me. I'd take it and run. 264 00:16:40,374 --> 00:16:42,041 Thank you, Sheldon. 265 00:16:42,209 --> 00:16:43,876 Will you give my paper to Hawking? 266 00:16:44,044 --> 00:16:46,379 - Sorry, I can't. - What? Why not? 267 00:16:46,547 --> 00:16:48,589 I gave it to him three days ago. 268 00:16:49,091 --> 00:16:50,967 He was really impressed. 269 00:16:51,135 --> 00:16:52,260 He wants to meet you. 270 00:16:54,263 --> 00:16:56,264 All right, then. 271 00:16:57,391 --> 00:16:58,808 Thank you, Howard. 272 00:16:59,601 --> 00:17:01,436 Please let Professor Hawking know... 273 00:17:01,603 --> 00:17:04,564 ...that I'm available at his earliest convenience. 274 00:17:06,316 --> 00:17:08,901 - Thought he might be more excited. - Give it a second. 275 00:17:18,370 --> 00:17:23,249 Professor Hawking, it's an honor and a privilege to meet you, sir. 276 00:17:26,503 --> 00:17:28,129 I know. 277 00:17:29,465 --> 00:17:32,884 I wanna thank you for taking time to see me. 278 00:17:34,261 --> 00:17:35,386 My pleasure. 279 00:17:35,554 --> 00:17:38,514 I enjoyed reading your paper very much. 280 00:17:38,682 --> 00:17:41,225 You clearly have a brilliant mind. 281 00:17:41,727 --> 00:17:43,352 I know. 282 00:17:45,522 --> 00:17:48,983 Your thesis that the Higgs boson is a black hole... 283 00:17:49,151 --> 00:17:52,695 ...accelerating backwards through time is fascinating. 284 00:17:53,572 --> 00:17:58,576 Thank you. It just... it came to me one morning in the shower. 285 00:18:01,455 --> 00:18:02,747 That's nice. 286 00:18:02,915 --> 00:18:05,333 Too bad it's wrong. 287 00:18:08,295 --> 00:18:10,713 What do you mean, "wrong"? 288 00:18:12,341 --> 00:18:15,259 You made an arithmetic mistake on page two. 289 00:18:17,387 --> 00:18:20,056 It was quite the boner. 290 00:18:22,684 --> 00:18:26,395 No, no. But that can't be right. 291 00:18:26,563 --> 00:18:29,232 I don't make arithmetic mistakes. 292 00:18:29,399 --> 00:18:31,192 Are you saying I do? 293 00:18:31,360 --> 00:18:33,778 Oh, no. No, no, of course not. 294 00:18:33,946 --> 00:18:37,532 It's just, I was thinking... Oh, gosh, golly. I made a boo-boo. 295 00:18:38,117 --> 00:18:41,077 And I gave it to Stephen Hawking. 296 00:18:46,708 --> 00:18:49,836 Great. Another fainter.