1
00:00:01,087 --> 00:00:02,804
Ahh.
2
00:00:02,837 --> 00:00:04,204
Throat looks good.
3
00:00:05,721 --> 00:00:07,406
Pupils are dilating normally.
4
00:00:07,440 --> 00:00:08,983
(Clicks) Do you want to sit up?
5
00:00:08,998 --> 00:00:10,292
Any fever?
6
00:00:10,326 --> 00:00:11,960
- She's cool to the touch.
- No.
7
00:00:11,994 --> 00:00:14,596
Although I couldn't get her to
submit to a core reading. (Chuckles)
8
00:00:14,886 --> 00:00:15,566
Uh, appetite?
9
00:00:15,597 --> 00:00:18,049
Diminished.
Greatly diminished.
10
00:00:18,310 --> 00:00:19,794
How's the mood?
Good?
11
00:00:19,992 --> 00:00:21,376
Oh, I wouldn't say that.
(Chuckles)
12
00:00:21,410 --> 00:00:23,591
She's moody,
but then she always has been.
13
00:00:23,698 --> 00:00:26,299
Regular bowel movements,
from what I can hear,
14
00:00:26,947 --> 00:00:29,073
but a mother's instinct,
Dr. Roger.
15
00:00:29,265 --> 00:00:31,316
Something's different.
She's off.
16
00:00:31,359 --> 00:00:33,477
Mrs. shay,
may I ask you to step
17
00:00:33,495 --> 00:00:35,315
into the waiting room
for a moment?
18
00:00:35,708 --> 00:00:36,791
Why didn't you tell me?
19
00:00:36,826 --> 00:00:38,747
Because it's none
of your business.
20
00:00:39,655 --> 00:00:42,957
Being in love is nothing
to be ashamed of.
21
00:00:43,703 --> 00:00:45,004
Unless he's a drifter.
22
00:00:45,038 --> 00:00:46,555
Are you in love with a drifter?
23
00:00:47,268 --> 00:00:47,886
No.
24
00:00:47,903 --> 00:00:50,371
It's not Arthur Fonzarelli,
is it? Because he's fictional.
25
00:00:50,921 --> 00:00:53,740
(Sighs) Look, Lisa, I get it.
26
00:00:53,774 --> 00:00:55,241
You're a tweenager,
27
00:00:55,292 --> 00:00:57,428
and tweenagers don't like
talking to their parents.
28
00:00:57,456 --> 00:00:58,938
I'm not a tweenager.
29
00:00:58,948 --> 00:01:00,832
I'm practically old enough
to vote.
30
00:01:00,981 --> 00:01:02,586
(Brakes squeal)
31
00:01:02,637 --> 00:01:04,579
Now you listen to me,
Lisa Marie.
32
00:01:04,601 --> 00:01:07,043
For years, I have sat here
while you prattled on
33
00:01:07,075 --> 00:01:08,742
about your social life,
when nothing
34
00:01:08,760 --> 00:01:10,866
even remotely interesting
was going on!
35
00:01:10,927 --> 00:01:13,099
Well, now that things
are getting real,
36
00:01:13,126 --> 00:01:14,610
I want details.
37
00:01:14,716 --> 00:01:16,158
I want the dish.
38
00:01:16,366 --> 00:01:17,908
Bring it on, sistah.
39
00:01:18,480 --> 00:01:19,897
She broke your bed?
40
00:01:20,407 --> 00:01:23,325
Buddy, Jill was doing things
to me last night
41
00:01:23,343 --> 00:01:25,586
that would have broken
a K.G.B. Agent.
44
00:01:32,659 --> 00:01:34,737
so frigid
for so many years that
45
00:01:34,771 --> 00:01:37,540
her sexual energy pent up
inside of her like a Tsunami,
46
00:01:37,558 --> 00:01:41,811
and once I figured out how
to unleash her waves,
47
00:01:41,845 --> 00:01:45,475
they have been crashing down
on me every night, buddy!
48
00:01:45,514 --> 00:01:48,717
Every night I have been
surf in' my lady's brine.
49
00:01:48,735 --> 00:01:50,019
Okay, I'm just gonna take
this to go.
50
00:01:50,037 --> 00:01:51,555
Oh, hell, I'll eat it.
51
00:01:51,556 --> 00:01:54,634
Thank you. I'm ravenous
from all the intercourse.
52
00:01:55,041 --> 00:01:57,248
(Crunches, mouth full)
I can't get enough sustenance
53
00:01:57,498 --> 00:01:59,540
to fuel the intercourse.
54
00:01:59,805 --> 00:02:00,978
Mm. (Sighs) Dallas!
55
00:02:00,994 --> 00:02:03,726
Oh! George, you startled me.
I was mid-tweet.
56
00:02:03,866 --> 00:02:07,409
"#mid-tweet"... and send.
I'm all yours.
57
00:02:07,464 --> 00:02:09,416
Well, I-I haven't seen you
around recently.
58
00:02:09,417 --> 00:02:10,688
- Everything good?
- So, so good!
59
00:02:10,689 --> 00:02:13,006
If you read my last tweet, then you
wouldn't have to ask. (Chuckles)
60
00:02:13,564 --> 00:02:15,298
(Chuckles)
Well, I'd rather ask.
61
00:02:15,333 --> 00:02:17,761
When I don't see you,
I worry about you, Dallas.
62
00:02:17,901 --> 00:02:19,352
(Slurping)
I mean, I think about you,
63
00:02:19,386 --> 00:02:21,321
and I know this must be
kind of a rough time.
64
00:02:21,847 --> 00:02:22,776
Rough time?
65
00:02:22,925 --> 00:02:25,017
You know, with the divorce.
66
00:02:25,662 --> 00:02:26,995
I heard it was finalized.
67
00:02:27,030 --> 00:02:28,547
Why, yes, it was.
68
00:02:28,598 --> 00:02:31,030
I got the papers this morning,
and I had 'em laminated.
69
00:02:31,108 --> 00:02:33,085
My divorce is so final,
you could eat off it,
70
00:02:33,136 --> 00:02:34,649
which I did,
and it tasted good.
71
00:02:34,712 --> 00:02:35,971
Glad to hear you're eating well
72
00:02:35,989 --> 00:02:36,938
and keeping yourself...
73
00:02:36,956 --> 00:02:38,657
Real, real busy.
74
00:02:38,708 --> 00:02:40,042
I've been filling
every second of every day
75
00:02:40,076 --> 00:02:43,195
with lots of real fun,
super fun, real fun stuff.
76
00:02:43,229 --> 00:02:44,163
(Chuckles) Okay.
77
00:02:44,197 --> 00:02:45,480
And then, come midnight,
78
00:02:45,498 --> 00:02:48,133
I stone-cold medicate myself,
and I sleep like a rock.
79
00:02:48,582 --> 00:02:50,185
Oh. Well, okay.
80
00:02:50,219 --> 00:02:51,920
It sounds like you have
a system, I guess,
81
00:02:51,955 --> 00:02:53,138
but, you know,
things do have a way
82
00:02:53,173 --> 00:02:54,520
of catching up with you.
83
00:02:54,614 --> 00:02:57,896
I know, which is why I have dalia
in therapy five days a week.
84
00:02:58,029 --> 00:02:58,944
Well, gotta run.
85
00:02:58,995 --> 00:03:00,729
I have a pap smear,
and then I'm taking Yakult
86
00:03:00,763 --> 00:03:03,344
to get blinged-out grillz
like Nelly.
87
00:03:03,391 --> 00:03:06,124
Sync and corrected by dr.Jackson and Sp8ky
for www.Addic7ed.Com
88
00:03:06,140 --> 00:03:11,300
(alih Jay) ♪ last night I had
a pleasant nightmare ♪
89
00:03:11,316 --> 00:03:13,609
♪ Da-da-da-da,
da, da, da, da ♪
90
00:03:13,611 --> 00:03:14,960
(Balls clatter)
91
00:03:14,994 --> 00:03:16,675
- Who's there?
- Lisa shay.
92
00:03:16,855 --> 00:03:17,972
Come in.
93
00:03:18,006 --> 00:03:19,557
(Toilet flushes)
94
00:03:19,608 --> 00:03:20,558
Hey.
95
00:03:21,421 --> 00:03:22,276
Hey.
96
00:03:22,311 --> 00:03:23,677
Tessa, let me just cut
to the chase.
97
00:03:23,695 --> 00:03:24,829
The story is about to break,
98
00:03:24,863 --> 00:03:26,616
and I want you to hear it
from me first.
99
00:03:27,436 --> 00:03:29,002
I have taken Malik...
100
00:03:29,752 --> 00:03:31,152
As a lover.
101
00:03:31,499 --> 00:03:32,280
I knew that.
102
00:03:32,335 --> 00:03:34,445
Did my mother tell you?
I knew I couldn't trust her.
103
00:03:34,461 --> 00:03:38,180
What? No. Lisa...
(Chuckles) I could tell.
104
00:03:38,519 --> 00:03:42,381
I saw you two the other day
at the water fountain.
105
00:03:42,419 --> 00:03:44,336
(Woman) ♪ yeah ♪
106
00:03:45,305 --> 00:03:47,085
♪ Yeah ♪
107
00:03:48,334 --> 00:03:49,496
♪ Yeah ♪
108
00:03:50,201 --> 00:03:52,981
Where did you learn how to drink
from a fountain, girl?
109
00:03:53,338 --> 00:03:54,305
Pretty obvious.
110
00:03:54,488 --> 00:03:55,906
I just... I want you to know
111
00:03:55,933 --> 00:03:58,439
that although he and I will
most likely be exploring
112
00:03:58,470 --> 00:04:01,136
parts of each other's bodies
that are difficult to clean,
113
00:04:01,164 --> 00:04:03,949
my relationship with you
will remain stet.
114
00:04:03,974 --> 00:04:05,519
- "Stet"?
- Unchanged.
115
00:04:06,336 --> 00:04:07,781
I won't abandon you, Tessa.
116
00:04:08,181 --> 00:04:09,142
I didn't think you would.
117
00:04:09,170 --> 00:04:10,387
'Cause I'm not the kind of girl
118
00:04:10,414 --> 00:04:12,215
that ditches her G.F.
The minute she gets a B.F.,
119
00:04:12,568 --> 00:04:14,703
you know, 'cause me and you...
We're for real.
120
00:04:14,810 --> 00:04:16,109
We're like
Thelma and that other ho.
121
00:04:16,152 --> 00:04:17,500
Lisa, relax.
122
00:04:18,187 --> 00:04:19,721
I'm happy for you and Malik,
123
00:04:19,822 --> 00:04:22,324
and the thought
that you might ditch me,
124
00:04:22,342 --> 00:04:25,327
honestly,
never even crossed my mind.
125
00:04:26,195 --> 00:04:28,328
(Clicks tongue)
I'd take a bullet for you.
126
00:04:29,737 --> 00:04:31,078
Thanks.
127
00:04:31,813 --> 00:04:33,523
(Tessa)
I was happy for Lisa and Malik.
128
00:04:33,574 --> 00:04:36,376
Really, I was,
but if I recalled correctly,
129
00:04:36,410 --> 00:04:37,761
Thelma and Louise's
relationship
130
00:04:37,788 --> 00:04:39,251
ended on kind of a down note.
131
00:04:39,308 --> 00:04:41,242
How about "Lisik"?
132
00:04:42,262 --> 00:04:43,326
Mm... it's okay.
133
00:04:43,524 --> 00:04:45,291
I don't think
it beats "Malisa."
134
00:04:45,560 --> 00:04:46,878
Tessa, what do you think?
135
00:04:46,912 --> 00:04:49,080
I think you two should maintain
your individual identities
136
00:04:49,114 --> 00:04:50,965
and not feel compelled to fuse
into one person
137
00:04:50,999 --> 00:04:52,333
just because you're dating.
138
00:04:53,285 --> 00:04:55,086
Tessa, every couple has
a couple name.
139
00:04:55,137 --> 00:04:56,871
I wasn't going to argue
with her.
140
00:04:56,889 --> 00:04:58,339
Everything would be fine
as long
141
00:04:58,357 --> 00:05:00,024
as she didn't ask Malik to...
Oh, Malik.
142
00:05:00,075 --> 00:05:01,409
You've gotta taste my vanilla.
143
00:05:01,443 --> 00:05:02,894
(Woman) ♪ yeah ♪
144
00:05:04,429 --> 00:05:05,646
♪ Yeah ♪
145
00:05:05,681 --> 00:05:07,198
(Tessa) Yeah.
146
00:05:07,232 --> 00:05:08,349
(Woman) ♪ yeah ♪
147
00:05:10,068 --> 00:05:12,503
Now I want you to taste mine.
148
00:05:12,538 --> 00:05:14,472
Taste it.
♪ yeah ♪
149
00:05:14,506 --> 00:05:15,723
(Whispers) Taste it all.
150
00:05:15,757 --> 00:05:17,792
♪ Yeah ♪
151
00:05:19,161 --> 00:05:21,195
♪ Yeah ♪
152
00:05:21,229 --> 00:05:24,866
I should probably just go.
153
00:05:24,900 --> 00:05:27,401
Well, I said it was for a dog
when I booked the appointment.
154
00:05:27,419 --> 00:05:29,704
Whose fault is that? (Laughs)
That's not my fault.
155
00:05:29,738 --> 00:05:31,255
Well, I...
No, you can't cancel on me now,
156
00:05:31,290 --> 00:05:33,841
'cause I've cleared my whole evening.
Bye, mommy.
157
00:05:33,876 --> 00:05:35,092
(Telephone beeps) Carmen's
taking me to therapy.
158
00:05:35,127 --> 00:05:36,928
Oh. Hey!
159
00:05:36,962 --> 00:05:39,413
Wait. Carmen, what are you up
to afterwards? (Door opens)
160
00:05:39,431 --> 00:05:40,765
I go to see my Uncle.
161
00:05:40,799 --> 00:05:42,767
Oh, super fun!
Mind if I come with?
162
00:05:42,801 --> 00:05:43,801
He's in hospice.
163
00:05:43,852 --> 00:05:46,270
(Dalia) Carmen!
See you later, mommy.
164
00:05:46,305 --> 00:05:48,272
Okay then. Okay.
(Door closes)
165
00:05:48,307 --> 00:05:50,107
I'll see you later,
dalia and Carmen.
166
00:05:50,142 --> 00:05:51,943
I'll see you both later then.
167
00:06:01,134 --> 00:06:02,201
Thanks so much for having me
over for breakfast.
168
00:06:02,235 --> 00:06:05,054
Oh. (Chuckles) I think
he has an Obama quality.
169
00:06:05,174 --> 00:06:07,196
I see a young Obama...
Meets Denzel... (Chuckles)
170
00:06:07,421 --> 00:06:08,951
Meets Sammy Davis Jr...
171
00:06:08,989 --> 00:06:10,285
You're just naming
black people.
172
00:06:10,322 --> 00:06:11,346
Meets Montell Jordan.
(Chuckles)
173
00:06:11,619 --> 00:06:12,661
I actually get that a lot.
174
00:06:12,680 --> 00:06:14,051
(Laughs)
You're jiving me. Really?
175
00:06:14,079 --> 00:06:15,600
Mom.
(Cell phone alert chimes)
176
00:06:17,450 --> 00:06:20,530
Tessa. She wants to know
what's up for the weekend.
177
00:06:20,572 --> 00:06:21,868
- Well, tell her you're hanging out with me.
- I'm afraid that
178
00:06:21,906 --> 00:06:23,840
if I do that, she'll spend
the whole weekend hiding out
179
00:06:23,868 --> 00:06:25,756
in the handicapped stall
of the girls' room.
180
00:06:25,876 --> 00:06:27,139
- Mm.
- We need to find someone
181
00:06:27,176 --> 00:06:28,143
to hook Tessa up with,
182
00:06:28,162 --> 00:06:29,646
so she doesn't feel like
a third wheel.
183
00:06:29,683 --> 00:06:31,618
Would you like
to sleep over tonight?
184
00:06:32,078 --> 00:06:34,078
I-I don't think
my mom would allow that.
185
00:06:34,198 --> 00:06:35,758
Of course not. (Chuckles)
186
00:06:36,102 --> 00:06:37,745
I just don't want him
to lose interest. (Chuckles)
187
00:06:39,088 --> 00:06:39,849
I won't.
188
00:06:40,572 --> 00:06:41,971
What about Evan?
189
00:06:42,534 --> 00:06:44,290
We already know that he likes Tessa,
190
00:06:44,328 --> 00:06:47,154
and he won't have any conflicting plans
because he's friendless.
191
00:06:47,180 --> 00:06:48,204
It's a win-win.
192
00:06:48,232 --> 00:06:50,476
Okay, you lovebirds.
Time for school.
193
00:06:50,596 --> 00:06:52,401
Hip-hop or you're gonna
be late. (Laughing)
194
00:06:52,439 --> 00:06:53,439
(Chuckles)
195
00:06:55,408 --> 00:06:59,014
(Laughs)
You two have a great day.
196
00:07:00,788 --> 00:07:03,530
Ham and cheese, brother.
If you keep dating Lisa,
197
00:07:03,650 --> 00:07:05,194
plenty more
where that came from.
198
00:07:07,701 --> 00:07:09,833
Why is she coming
bed shopping with us?
199
00:07:10,556 --> 00:07:12,302
Why am I coming
bed shopping with you?
200
00:07:12,330 --> 00:07:13,964
Because I want your opinion.
201
00:07:14,084 --> 00:07:16,340
Well, I want Dallas to think
we want her opinion.
202
00:07:16,460 --> 00:07:17,551
I'm worried about her.
203
00:07:17,671 --> 00:07:19,983
She seemed a little manic
the last time I talked to her.
204
00:07:20,103 --> 00:07:20,819
Hi, y'all!
Oh.
205
00:07:20,837 --> 00:07:22,377
(Chuckles) Hey.
Hey.
206
00:07:22,497 --> 00:07:24,133
Ohh.
I hope I'm dressed okay.
207
00:07:24,253 --> 00:07:25,607
Since I didn't know what
we were doing,
208
00:07:25,644 --> 00:07:27,447
I brought a raincoat,
a walking coat, a car coat,
209
00:07:27,475 --> 00:07:29,297
and a cape,
in case we see opera.
210
00:07:29,417 --> 00:07:30,489
We probably won't see opera.
211
00:07:30,518 --> 00:07:32,339
Yeah, probably no opera.
212
00:07:32,701 --> 00:07:34,062
We're going shopping for a bed.
213
00:07:34,091 --> 00:07:35,189
Oh! Super fun.
214
00:07:36,598 --> 00:07:38,138
Hey, can your car find us...
215
00:07:38,166 --> 00:07:38,466
(Clicks)
216
00:07:38,586 --> 00:07:40,654
A European mattress store?
217
00:07:40,889 --> 00:07:42,316
(Electronic bloop) Prius!
218
00:07:42,436 --> 00:07:43,990
Mattress store!
219
00:07:44,000 --> 00:07:44,800
(Bloop)
220
00:07:45,718 --> 00:07:47,286
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, what about that place
221
00:07:47,324 --> 00:07:48,235
on post road?
(Bloop)
222
00:07:48,244 --> 00:07:49,098
Let's do it.
223
00:07:50,451 --> 00:07:51,061
Evan.
224
00:07:51,427 --> 00:07:52,469
Look, if you're here
to pants me,
225
00:07:52,507 --> 00:07:53,793
don't waste your time.
I'm wearing a belt
226
00:07:53,818 --> 00:07:55,330
made of staples
that go into my skin.
227
00:07:55,348 --> 00:07:56,700
I'm not here to pants you.
228
00:07:56,975 --> 00:07:58,205
I'm here to talk to you
about Tessa.
229
00:07:58,215 --> 00:07:59,970
What about Tessa?
Look, I know you like her,
230
00:07:59,999 --> 00:08:01,642
and I want to help you
so that she likes you back.
231
00:08:01,670 --> 00:08:03,726
(Laughs and snorts)
Are you the great Houdini?
232
00:08:03,933 --> 00:08:05,088
Because if not, Malik,
233
00:08:05,107 --> 00:08:06,079
I seriously doubt
that she would...
234
00:08:06,107 --> 00:08:08,003
Look, Evan, I'm black,
235
00:08:08,257 --> 00:08:09,769
and black people know a lot
about romance.
236
00:08:09,889 --> 00:08:11,205
Is that true?
(Slow R&B music playing)
237
00:08:11,325 --> 00:08:12,968
Al green, Al B. Sure!
238
00:08:12,987 --> 00:08:13,390
Huh?
239
00:08:13,510 --> 00:08:16,442
Jodeci, oran "juice" Jones,
Teddy Riley,
240
00:08:16,562 --> 00:08:18,048
Teddy Pendergrass, Marvin gaye?
241
00:08:18,085 --> 00:08:19,156
Yeah, but wasn't he...
No.
242
00:08:19,165 --> 00:08:20,292
(Music warps and stops)
Evan, he wasn't.
243
00:08:20,902 --> 00:08:23,949
Okay. Maybe black people
are smoove.
244
00:08:24,690 --> 00:08:27,545
So what do I have
to do to make Tessa like me?
245
00:08:27,573 --> 00:08:30,155
(Sighs) A lot of things, Evan,
and none of those things include
246
00:08:30,174 --> 00:08:32,399
wearing a belt made of staples
that go into your skin.
247
00:08:34,942 --> 00:08:39,082
It's like she expects people
to feel sorry for her,
248
00:08:39,402 --> 00:08:41,251
but, like, I don't feel
sorry for her.
249
00:08:41,915 --> 00:08:43,708
What do you feel?
250
00:08:43,718 --> 00:08:47,652
Angerment.
Bitterness. Resent.
251
00:08:47,934 --> 00:08:50,723
You blame her for the divorce.
252
00:08:51,004 --> 00:08:52,065
I do.
253
00:08:53,028 --> 00:08:54,615
I totally do.
254
00:08:56,052 --> 00:08:58,812
You know, until you put
those words into my mouth,
255
00:08:59,291 --> 00:09:00,793
I didn't even realize
I felt them.
256
00:09:00,913 --> 00:09:04,221
Dalia, I think it's important
that you confront her
257
00:09:04,254 --> 00:09:05,803
with these feelings.
258
00:09:07,343 --> 00:09:07,822
(Clatters)
259
00:09:07,942 --> 00:09:09,099
Now if it's okay with you,
260
00:09:09,475 --> 00:09:10,761
I'd like to bring her in.
261
00:09:14,782 --> 00:09:16,050
(Door creaks)
262
00:09:16,942 --> 00:09:18,191
(Barks and growls)
263
00:09:19,158 --> 00:09:21,280
You have a lot of nerve
showing your face here!
264
00:09:21,400 --> 00:09:22,538
(Barks) Yakult!
265
00:09:22,923 --> 00:09:26,104
This session is not about you.
It's about dalia.
266
00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:27,649
Now you sit...
267
00:09:28,842 --> 00:09:30,081
(Deep voice) And you listen.
268
00:09:30,201 --> 00:09:31,455
(Whines)
269
00:09:31,783 --> 00:09:33,051
(Indistinct conversations)
270
00:09:33,558 --> 00:09:36,826
(Lowered voice) I don't want
to see no panties tonight.
271
00:09:36,946 --> 00:09:37,896
What?
(Normal voice)-What?
272
00:09:43,499 --> 00:09:45,837
(Deep voice) Take off
that brassiere, my dear.
273
00:09:45,875 --> 00:09:48,551
Evan, did you just tell me
to take off my brassiere?
274
00:09:48,589 --> 00:09:49,678
What? N-no!
275
00:09:50,328 --> 00:09:52,356
Wait. Did you want me
to tell you to do that?
276
00:09:52,476 --> 00:09:55,032
(Creaks and clangs) Wait!
But, girl, I be tryin' to get witchu!
277
00:09:55,152 --> 00:09:57,831
Evan, gross.
You just spit in my ear.
278
00:10:01,781 --> 00:10:04,748
Really, you guys? You're trying
to unload me on Evan?
279
00:10:04,868 --> 00:10:07,246
Tessa, we just didn't want you
to feel like a third wheel.
280
00:10:07,274 --> 00:10:07,969
I didn't!
281
00:10:08,089 --> 00:10:09,894
Uh, no, but the other day
at the yogurt shop...
282
00:10:09,935 --> 00:10:11,146
You were being gross.
283
00:10:11,184 --> 00:10:13,409
And we're gonna continue
to be gross, really gross.
284
00:10:13,447 --> 00:10:15,522
We just don't want this
to affect our friendship.
285
00:10:15,540 --> 00:10:18,536
This affects
our friendship, okay?
286
00:10:18,656 --> 00:10:21,005
If I wanted a man,
I could have one.
287
00:10:21,316 --> 00:10:22,668
I could have more than one.
288
00:10:22,788 --> 00:10:24,377
Hey, I'm open to that,
you little freak.
289
00:10:24,497 --> 00:10:28,255
I don't need you trying
to pawn me off on some perv.
290
00:10:31,278 --> 00:10:32,902
(Chuckles) That's the furthest
291
00:10:32,940 --> 00:10:34,931
I ever went with a girl,
you guys.
292
00:10:38,743 --> 00:10:40,142
(Grunting) Oh, yeah!
293
00:10:40,262 --> 00:10:41,231
Yeah. Mm-hmm.
294
00:10:41,351 --> 00:10:43,346
That seems... good.
295
00:10:43,365 --> 00:10:45,572
It's also comfortable
for sleeping.
296
00:10:45,600 --> 00:10:47,346
(Chuckles) Yeah, I'm not gonna
be doing a whole lot
297
00:10:47,375 --> 00:10:49,750
of sleeping on this baby.
Am I right?
298
00:10:49,760 --> 00:10:51,853
It's the Rolls-Royce
of mattresses, sir.
299
00:10:51,878 --> 00:10:54,150
Uh, the... it's the last one
we have in stock.
300
00:10:54,270 --> 00:10:56,216
Hand-tailored
Icelandic eiderdown,
301
00:10:56,235 --> 00:10:58,000
cashmere-encased coils,
302
00:10:58,019 --> 00:10:59,850
hypoallergenic
horsehair batting.
303
00:10:59,887 --> 00:11:01,540
The boning, of course,
is unbleached pine.
304
00:11:01,660 --> 00:11:02,329
(Laughing) "The boning."
305
00:11:03,004 --> 00:11:04,432
I like the sound of that.
(Chuckles)
306
00:11:04,450 --> 00:11:06,244
You seem very comfortable
in it, sir,
307
00:11:06,469 --> 00:11:07,774
a-and I can assure you,
308
00:11:07,802 --> 00:11:09,801
there is not
a finer mattress to be had.
309
00:11:09,802 --> 00:11:11,145
I'll take it.
Excellent.
310
00:11:11,265 --> 00:11:13,239
(Laughs) All right.
(Laughs) All right.
311
00:11:13,276 --> 00:11:13,839
Ohh.
312
00:11:15,097 --> 00:11:17,266
I know what you're thinking,
and I totally agree.
313
00:11:17,304 --> 00:11:18,694
It is obscene...
(Lowered voice) To spend
314
00:11:18,712 --> 00:11:20,562
that amount of money
on a mattress.
315
00:11:20,853 --> 00:11:22,797
"The honeymoon never has to end
316
00:11:22,837 --> 00:11:25,099
with the eternal honeymoon
sleep system."
317
00:11:25,219 --> 00:11:27,597
Dallas, are you okay?
318
00:11:29,081 --> 00:11:30,780
(Voice breaking)
Maybe Steven and I just had
319
00:11:30,808 --> 00:11:32,010
the wrong mattress.
320
00:11:32,130 --> 00:11:35,864
Oh, honey.
No. It wasn't that.
321
00:11:36,305 --> 00:11:37,723
Ohh. (Sobbing)
322
00:11:38,277 --> 00:11:40,080
Ohh.
(Footsteps approach)
323
00:11:40,352 --> 00:11:42,286
Hi. Should I put down
a waterproof pad?
324
00:11:42,328 --> 00:11:44,300
Because I am just about
to run your friend's card.
325
00:11:44,318 --> 00:11:45,680
I really don't think
that's necessary.
326
00:11:45,718 --> 00:11:47,107
(Dallas wailing)
327
00:11:47,389 --> 00:11:49,079
Okay. You know what?
Get the pad.
328
00:11:49,520 --> 00:11:51,173
(Crying)
329
00:11:57,409 --> 00:11:59,719
End of a long school week,
and you know what?
330
00:11:59,839 --> 00:12:02,658
I was glad to have the night
to myself.
331
00:12:02,778 --> 00:12:05,818
I was no third wheel.
I was a unicycle.
332
00:12:05,856 --> 00:12:08,382
You are a unicycle.
333
00:12:09,330 --> 00:12:10,992
You're a unicycle.
334
00:12:11,030 --> 00:12:12,767
I'd start with a light dinner,
335
00:12:13,801 --> 00:12:15,960
watch a thought-provoking
documentary...
336
00:12:15,979 --> 00:12:17,162
Move...
(Crowd yelling on TV)
337
00:12:17,282 --> 00:12:18,439
That...
338
00:12:18,559 --> 00:12:19,895
Bus!
339
00:12:20,015 --> 00:12:21,369
Oh, my gosh!
340
00:12:21,791 --> 00:12:23,228
(Sobs)
341
00:12:24,829 --> 00:12:27,242
(Tessa) Reconnect
with some old friends...
342
00:12:28,425 --> 00:12:29,674
Cool and cute.
343
00:12:32,743 --> 00:12:36,076
And help myself
to a little bedtime snack.
344
00:12:36,095 --> 00:12:37,165
(Knock on door)
345
00:12:37,400 --> 00:12:37,963
(Splat)
346
00:12:38,630 --> 00:12:39,625
Ryan?
347
00:12:41,369 --> 00:12:43,106
What are you doing
out there, watching me?
348
00:12:43,885 --> 00:12:44,618
Yes.
349
00:12:46,468 --> 00:12:47,209
Why?
350
00:12:47,329 --> 00:12:48,336
Tessa, look at you.
351
00:12:48,806 --> 00:12:50,355
You fell off.
352
00:12:50,653 --> 00:12:52,944
You're wearing pajamas
that are covered in food.
353
00:12:53,826 --> 00:12:55,545
These are fresh out
of the wash.
354
00:12:55,665 --> 00:12:56,690
Look at all that butter.
355
00:12:56,810 --> 00:12:58,286
Who would eat that much butter?
356
00:12:59,623 --> 00:13:00,759
I can't...
357
00:13:01,923 --> 00:13:03,520
Answer that question.
358
00:13:03,640 --> 00:13:05,614
When I overheard my sister
and Malik talking about
359
00:13:05,734 --> 00:13:07,848
trying to fix you up
with someone, I thought,
360
00:13:07,876 --> 00:13:09,886
Tessa Altman made out
with Ryan shay.
361
00:13:10,364 --> 00:13:11,444
She could have anyone,
362
00:13:11,650 --> 00:13:13,707
but after watching you
from the bushes tonight,
363
00:13:13,827 --> 00:13:14,843
I'm not so sure.
364
00:13:17,115 --> 00:13:17,998
Ryan, wait.
365
00:13:18,580 --> 00:13:19,622
I'm just...
366
00:13:19,979 --> 00:13:21,359
Not myself right now,
367
00:13:22,187 --> 00:13:24,684
and, yes, maybe I am
leaning on butter
368
00:13:24,722 --> 00:13:26,666
a little more
than I normally would,
369
00:13:26,684 --> 00:13:28,224
but... (Sighs)
370
00:13:28,515 --> 00:13:30,177
I'm a recovering tricycle,
371
00:13:30,297 --> 00:13:32,168
trying to get by on one wheel.
372
00:13:33,190 --> 00:13:33,932
Been there.
373
00:13:34,937 --> 00:13:36,646
So you wanna get something
to eat?
374
00:13:37,322 --> 00:13:39,040
Your pajamas are making me
hungry. (Sighs)
375
00:13:41,115 --> 00:13:42,674
So we close soon.
376
00:13:43,143 --> 00:13:45,819
George, get her off my bed.
She's funkin' it up.
377
00:13:45,939 --> 00:13:47,519
What do you want me to do?
Fix it!
378
00:13:47,639 --> 00:13:48,965
You're the one who brought her with us.
(Cell phone rings)
379
00:13:50,326 --> 00:13:51,068
Uh...
(Ring)
380
00:13:51,406 --> 00:13:52,449
Oh, look. It's dalia.
381
00:13:52,569 --> 00:13:54,343
(Ring) Dallas, it's
your daughter dalia.
382
00:13:54,463 --> 00:13:55,489
(Ring, beep) No?
383
00:13:55,609 --> 00:13:56,184
Hello?
384
00:13:56,446 --> 00:13:57,470
Hey, dalia.
385
00:13:57,590 --> 00:14:00,221
Okay. Okay. You're... you're
ready to be picked up?
386
00:14:00,493 --> 00:14:01,639
Okay, great.
We're just running
387
00:14:01,648 --> 00:14:03,442
a few minutes late,
so sit tight.
388
00:14:04,814 --> 00:14:07,320
Dallas, dalia's ready
to be picked up.
389
00:14:07,321 --> 00:14:08,100
Are you gonna go get her?
390
00:14:08,128 --> 00:14:09,856
I have a dinner engagement.
Okay.
391
00:14:09,976 --> 00:14:11,105
Noah, take my car keys.
(Keys jangling)
392
00:14:11,123 --> 00:14:12,372
Go pick up dalia
from her shrink.
393
00:14:12,400 --> 00:14:14,100
Kill some time
before you bring her home.
394
00:14:14,220 --> 00:14:16,162
I will figure out a way to get
Dallas out of this bed.
395
00:14:16,190 --> 00:14:17,148
That's a promise, okay?
396
00:14:17,176 --> 00:14:19,157
If Jill smells sorrow
on this mattress...
397
00:14:19,176 --> 00:14:20,603
We have a no-return policy.
398
00:14:20,960 --> 00:14:22,500
Then you're buying it off
of me.
399
00:14:23,026 --> 00:14:23,833
(Keys jangling)
400
00:14:25,533 --> 00:14:27,786
Lock up when you leave.
If anything goes missing,
401
00:14:27,824 --> 00:14:29,045
it's going
on your friend's card.
402
00:14:29,073 --> 00:14:30,763
Uh, okay. Thank you
for your understanding.
403
00:14:30,800 --> 00:14:33,298
Hey, okay, big sale today,
though, right?
404
00:14:34,214 --> 00:14:35,134
Right.
405
00:14:36,486 --> 00:14:38,458
(Sighs) (Door closes)
406
00:14:38,937 --> 00:14:41,031
Why didn't mommy come
get me herself?
407
00:14:41,867 --> 00:14:42,946
Mommy...
408
00:14:43,829 --> 00:14:46,036
Mommy is having a hard time
right now.
409
00:14:46,063 --> 00:14:47,987
She's going through
some things.
410
00:14:48,107 --> 00:14:50,973
Oh, please.
What's her problem?
411
00:14:51,809 --> 00:14:53,358
She didn't want to live
with daddy any more,
412
00:14:53,377 --> 00:14:54,260
but I did.
413
00:14:54,541 --> 00:14:56,063
I guess that's true, isn't it?
414
00:14:56,183 --> 00:14:56,795
(Barks)
415
00:14:58,307 --> 00:15:01,096
Here, yakult. You can have
half of my spring roll.
416
00:15:01,706 --> 00:15:02,241
(Barks)
417
00:15:02,279 --> 00:15:04,326
Oh, my God. Did you see that, Uncle Noah?
(Yakult growls)
418
00:15:04,446 --> 00:15:05,326
She almost bit me!
419
00:15:05,364 --> 00:15:08,537
She almost bit me because I said
something bad about mommy.
420
00:15:08,657 --> 00:15:11,129
The two of them are
total cohorts, if that's a word.
421
00:15:11,166 --> 00:15:12,922
(Growls) Oh, and now look.
422
00:15:13,166 --> 00:15:14,631
She's eating
the whole spring roll,
423
00:15:14,657 --> 00:15:15,915
when I only said
she could have half.
424
00:15:16,807 --> 00:15:18,028
Here. You can have mine.
425
00:15:23,559 --> 00:15:25,549
(Voice breaking)
This is why I wanted my own pet.
426
00:15:25,669 --> 00:15:27,234
This is why I asked mommy
to please get me
427
00:15:27,272 --> 00:15:28,294
"the hangover" monkey,
428
00:15:28,295 --> 00:15:30,032
like from
that movie "the hangover."
429
00:15:30,830 --> 00:15:32,605
I mean, she has yakult
on her side,
430
00:15:32,643 --> 00:15:34,239
and I have no one.
431
00:15:35,530 --> 00:15:37,257
I'm all alone.
432
00:15:40,290 --> 00:15:43,380
Hey, have you seen
that movie "kangaroo Jack"?
433
00:15:43,858 --> 00:15:46,628
(Sniffles) No. Is it good?
434
00:15:47,355 --> 00:15:49,026
I laid around a lot.
435
00:15:49,233 --> 00:15:50,942
I watched a lot
of "people's court,"
436
00:15:51,289 --> 00:15:53,599
a court in which justice
was almost never served,
437
00:15:54,932 --> 00:15:56,622
but then I realized,
438
00:15:56,976 --> 00:15:58,150
when you're a single parent,
439
00:15:58,178 --> 00:16:01,239
being depressed is a luxury
you just can't afford.
440
00:16:01,277 --> 00:16:02,779
You have to get up
and take care of your kid,
441
00:16:03,483 --> 00:16:05,014
'cause no one else
is gonna do it for you.
442
00:16:06,619 --> 00:16:08,056
I have Carmen.
443
00:16:10,215 --> 00:16:12,947
Yes, you have Carmen
to cook and to clean
444
00:16:13,067 --> 00:16:15,510
and to drive dalia
the places she needs to go,
445
00:16:15,717 --> 00:16:17,980
but Carmen can't inspire dalia.
446
00:16:18,100 --> 00:16:20,337
She can't teach her
what it means
447
00:16:20,375 --> 00:16:22,056
to get up when you feel down.
448
00:16:23,680 --> 00:16:25,549
Carmen isn't dalia's mother.
449
00:16:27,643 --> 00:16:28,600
You are,
450
00:16:29,433 --> 00:16:31,461
and that right there is
reason enough to climb off
451
00:16:31,827 --> 00:16:35,593
this outrageously
comfortable mattress,
452
00:16:35,612 --> 00:16:37,874
this mattress that
is clearly from heaven.
453
00:16:40,457 --> 00:16:42,241
(Inhales deeply and sighs)
454
00:16:46,269 --> 00:16:48,795
(Voice breaks)
George, am I okay?
455
00:16:49,518 --> 00:16:50,945
Of course you're okay.
456
00:16:52,711 --> 00:16:53,884
I've never been...
457
00:16:53,913 --> 00:16:55,340
Depressed. (Chuckles)
458
00:16:56,175 --> 00:16:57,509
It's standard issue.
459
00:16:57,629 --> 00:16:59,049
Comes free with the divorce.
460
00:17:00,426 --> 00:17:03,112
I don't even know what
a depressed person dresses like.
461
00:17:03,140 --> 00:17:03,685
(Chuckles)
462
00:17:04,849 --> 00:17:06,013
Separates?
463
00:17:06,868 --> 00:17:09,412
I'm probably gonna need
a whole new depression wardrobe.
464
00:17:09,901 --> 00:17:10,661
(Gasps)
465
00:17:11,812 --> 00:17:13,802
I'll probably need
a whole new wardrobe.
466
00:17:21,389 --> 00:17:22,600
(Woman) ♪ yeah ♪
467
00:17:24,253 --> 00:17:25,511
♪ Yeah ♪
468
00:17:27,230 --> 00:17:28,347
♪ Yeah ♪
469
00:17:30,097 --> 00:17:32,576
♪ And I just can't get enough ♪
470
00:17:32,970 --> 00:17:34,097
Damn, girl.
471
00:17:34,557 --> 00:17:36,304
Where did you learn how
to eat fondue?
472
00:17:36,424 --> 00:17:37,177
♪ Yeah ♪
473
00:17:39,534 --> 00:17:42,496
(Laughter,
indistinct conversations)
474
00:17:43,162 --> 00:17:45,538
Uh, let's just go
somewhere else.
475
00:17:45,575 --> 00:17:46,458
Why? I thought you sid
476
00:17:46,486 --> 00:17:48,017
you wanted a bowl
of wet, hot cheese.
477
00:17:48,137 --> 00:17:49,087
I don't remember saying I w...
478
00:17:49,125 --> 00:17:50,618
Okay, it was me.
I want a bowl
479
00:17:50,655 --> 00:17:52,129
of wet, hot cheese,
and this place has it.
480
00:17:52,370 --> 00:17:54,717
Plus wait till you see
how long their forks are.
481
00:17:55,553 --> 00:17:56,417
Okay.
Yeah!
482
00:17:56,537 --> 00:17:58,680
Well, let's just get in there
before they see us.
483
00:18:06,149 --> 00:18:07,520
Are you sure you're okay
with this?
484
00:18:07,640 --> 00:18:08,675
'Cause I know
they don't serve any
485
00:18:08,795 --> 00:18:10,299
of the food that was listed
on your pajamas.
486
00:18:10,337 --> 00:18:11,473
Yeah. (Chuckles) Yeah.
487
00:18:11,497 --> 00:18:14,925
I don't only eat... food
that's on my pajamas.
488
00:18:15,331 --> 00:18:18,430
Okay. Whew.
'Cause I feel like
489
00:18:18,550 --> 00:18:20,270
I may have oversold
the forks a little.
490
00:18:20,390 --> 00:18:21,885
No, they're big.
491
00:18:22,005 --> 00:18:23,256
(Sighs) Yeah.
(Whispers) Aah.
492
00:18:23,376 --> 00:18:24,383
(Laughs)
493
00:18:24,927 --> 00:18:26,326
Oh, my God, Malik.
Aah!
494
00:18:26,527 --> 00:18:27,495
Ow! Damn, girl!
495
00:18:27,504 --> 00:18:30,039
Where did you learn how to feed someone fondue?
Do you see this?
496
00:18:30,159 --> 00:18:31,970
My heart is breaking.
Tessa's bottomed out.
497
00:18:31,998 --> 00:18:33,792
I'm bleeding.
You stabbed me in the gums.
498
00:18:33,811 --> 00:18:35,257
Tessa, wait. Don't run.
499
00:18:35,285 --> 00:18:37,078
I'm not running.
I'm seated.
500
00:18:37,114 --> 00:18:39,387
I can't even imagine
how lost you must feel
501
00:18:39,612 --> 00:18:41,283
to resort to Ryan. I...
502
00:18:41,546 --> 00:18:44,851
Lisa, I'm fine.
You have to stop pitying me.
503
00:18:45,049 --> 00:18:47,546
For a minute there,
you had me pitying myself.
504
00:18:47,761 --> 00:18:50,315
It's true.
I caught her eating butter.
505
00:18:52,287 --> 00:18:53,733
Now that I think about it,
it's kinda messed up
506
00:18:53,770 --> 00:18:54,878
that I brought you out
for cheese.
507
00:18:54,897 --> 00:18:56,850
You're gonna have
wicked gas tonight.
508
00:18:57,558 --> 00:18:58,656
Probably.
509
00:18:59,079 --> 00:19:01,228
Listen, Lisa, you don't
have to feel guilty
510
00:19:01,229 --> 00:19:02,637
about doing things without me.
511
00:19:02,757 --> 00:19:06,262
I'm a big girl, okay,
so go finish your fondue,
512
00:19:06,290 --> 00:19:07,351
and we'll talk tomorrow.
513
00:19:08,699 --> 00:19:09,910
Okay. Well, you heard that.
514
00:19:10,030 --> 00:19:11,722
She's fine,
so you can head on home.
515
00:19:12,173 --> 00:19:13,206
Actually...
516
00:19:13,947 --> 00:19:16,182
We're kinda having a nice time.
517
00:19:16,408 --> 00:19:17,243
Really?
Really?
518
00:19:20,374 --> 00:19:21,407
Yeah.
519
00:19:25,350 --> 00:19:27,594
I didn't even own
one pair of shoes
520
00:19:27,714 --> 00:19:29,844
when I walked barefoot
into this country.
521
00:19:29,964 --> 00:19:31,431
- Ew.
- Within a year,
522
00:19:31,675 --> 00:19:33,318
I taught myself
to speak English...
523
00:19:33,337 --> 00:19:34,783
Carmen, honey, put a pin in it.
524
00:19:34,903 --> 00:19:37,093
Dalia's mama's here
to inspire her.
525
00:19:37,213 --> 00:19:38,239
To speak English by listening
526
00:19:38,254 --> 00:19:39,738
to NPR 's
"all things considered."
527
00:19:41,578 --> 00:19:45,616
(Sighs) Dalia, I know
you're mad at me.
528
00:19:45,635 --> 00:19:47,945
I'm mad at me, too,
and I'm mad at Steven,
529
00:19:47,982 --> 00:19:49,146
and I'm mad at Carmen.
530
00:19:49,185 --> 00:19:51,157
- You're mad at me?
- It isn't always rational.
531
00:19:52,922 --> 00:19:53,934
Now I know it's hard for you
532
00:19:53,935 --> 00:19:55,542
to understand the choices
I've made,
533
00:19:55,561 --> 00:19:58,640
but I'm trying to show you
that if you're unhappy in life,
534
00:19:58,657 --> 00:20:00,516
it's your responsibility
to fix it.
535
00:20:01,219 --> 00:20:03,435
No one else is gonna
fix it for you.
536
00:20:03,555 --> 00:20:05,716
I know, and that's why
I made Uncle Noah buy me
537
00:20:05,726 --> 00:20:06,824
a "kangaroo Jack."
538
00:20:11,125 --> 00:20:15,989
Dalia! I'm pretty sure
I was clear about no movie pets.
539
00:20:17,162 --> 00:20:20,176
That said,
he is a cute Carmel color.
540
00:20:20,296 --> 00:20:22,007
That I was not expecting.
541
00:20:22,127 --> 00:20:24,191
And he makes me
really happy, mommy.
542
00:20:24,311 --> 00:20:27,224
He does, and I can keep
my cell phone in his pocket.
543
00:20:27,243 --> 00:20:29,599
Then, Carmen, we have
a new member of the family.
544
00:20:30,078 --> 00:20:31,506
Thank you so much, mommy.
545
00:20:31,626 --> 00:20:33,881
He is way cooler
than "the hangover" monkey.
546
00:20:34,726 --> 00:20:36,407
(Crash, glass shatters)
547
00:20:36,527 --> 00:20:37,402
(Carmen) Aah!
548
00:20:37,984 --> 00:20:40,266
So... this was fun.
549
00:20:40,585 --> 00:20:42,914
Thank you for getting me
out of the house tonight.
550
00:20:43,864 --> 00:20:46,352
My mom says when you want
to thank someone,
551
00:20:46,362 --> 00:20:48,737
you should send
a thank-you card,
552
00:20:49,254 --> 00:20:51,075
but... I don't want
a thank-you card.
553
00:20:52,180 --> 00:20:54,593
I want you to let me touch
your boob instead.
554
00:20:54,713 --> 00:20:55,823
My boob?
555
00:20:56,922 --> 00:20:57,758
Either boob,
556
00:20:58,255 --> 00:21:00,143
just so I can say
I did, mostly.
557
00:21:00,263 --> 00:21:02,206
(Brandi Carlile's
"have you ever" playing)
558
00:21:02,713 --> 00:21:04,121
You have three seconds.
559
00:21:04,591 --> 00:21:05,896
Go for it.
560
00:21:06,196 --> 00:21:08,271
♪
561
00:21:08,391 --> 00:21:12,786
♪ If you've ever wandered
lonely through the woods ♪
562
00:21:13,218 --> 00:21:16,064
♪ Ah-ah-oh-oh-ah-oh ♪
563
00:21:16,636 --> 00:21:17,660
(Clears throat)
564
00:21:21,568 --> 00:21:23,173
So what's your address?
565
00:21:24,319 --> 00:21:25,943
♪ Ah-ah-ah-oh-oh ♪
566
00:21:26,150 --> 00:21:28,112
You don't have to send
a thank-you card.
567
00:21:28,319 --> 00:21:30,690
Sync and corrections by Sp8ky for
www.Addic7ed.Com
568
00:21:30,932 --> 00:21:32,002
bye.
569
00:21:32,122 --> 00:21:36,829
(Door opens) ♪ if you'd ever been
out walking you would know ♪
570
00:21:37,674 --> 00:21:39,054
(Door closes)