1 00:00:01,008 --> 00:00:02,341 Best friends, best friends... 2 00:00:02,367 --> 00:00:03,855 ♪ Making a cake ♪ - Wait. 3 00:00:03,933 --> 00:00:04,720 Ah. 4 00:00:04,758 --> 00:00:05,969 Both: ♪ Best friends, best friends ♪ 5 00:00:06,008 --> 00:00:08,122 ♪ Making a cake ♪ - Pyoo! 6 00:00:08,175 --> 00:00:09,263 I never thought I'd miss it. 7 00:00:09,287 --> 00:00:11,687 How come I'm not best friends with anyone in the group? 8 00:00:11,836 --> 00:00:12,881 Both: Aw! 9 00:00:12,963 --> 00:00:14,615 Don't patronize me. 10 00:00:14,653 --> 00:00:15,667 Both: Oh. 11 00:00:15,693 --> 00:00:17,227 ♪ She'll be coming around the mountain ♪ 12 00:00:17,270 --> 00:00:19,037 ♪ When she comes, whoo-whoo ♪ 13 00:00:19,237 --> 00:00:20,505 Just letting the students know 14 00:00:20,550 --> 00:00:22,567 that if you're on campus this weekend, 15 00:00:22,582 --> 00:00:24,114 you'll have to park on the street 16 00:00:24,145 --> 00:00:25,512 because of the carnival. 17 00:00:25,555 --> 00:00:28,649 On an unrelated note, I'm into trains now. 18 00:00:28,760 --> 00:00:29,768 A real carnival? 19 00:00:29,804 --> 00:00:32,205 Is the company called red beard's amusements? 20 00:00:32,261 --> 00:00:33,461 Name rings a bell. 21 00:00:33,528 --> 00:00:34,895 But with me, that could mean anything. 22 00:00:34,963 --> 00:00:36,730 I wonder. 23 00:00:36,798 --> 00:00:39,132 I have an ex-boyfriend that travels with a carnival. 24 00:00:39,200 --> 00:00:40,497 [Cackling] 25 00:00:40,519 --> 00:00:42,153 [Chuckling] 26 00:00:42,174 --> 00:00:43,391 I'm sorry, Britta. 27 00:00:43,429 --> 00:00:45,518 Some things are funny because they make no sense. 28 00:00:45,552 --> 00:00:47,815 And that is not one of them. 29 00:00:47,876 --> 00:00:51,210 Well, it looks like my news has incited some doings. 30 00:00:51,278 --> 00:00:53,480 And if that's not my job, what is? 31 00:00:53,547 --> 00:00:55,583 Choo choo! 32 00:00:55,788 --> 00:00:57,956 Well, you're also supposed to-- 33 00:00:58,486 --> 00:01:01,053 Eh. Administrate the school. 34 00:01:01,121 --> 00:01:03,990 So, Britta, tell us about your carnival worker boyfriend. 35 00:01:04,057 --> 00:01:05,824 Why, so you all can get a big laugh? 36 00:01:05,892 --> 00:01:07,025 - Yeah. - I'd love to have a laugh. 37 00:01:07,093 --> 00:01:08,226 - [Giggling] - The exact reason. 38 00:01:08,294 --> 00:01:10,462 Fine. I'm not ashamed of my past. 39 00:01:10,530 --> 00:01:11,864 And if it entertains you guys, 40 00:01:11,931 --> 00:01:14,432 that's great because we're friends. 41 00:01:14,501 --> 00:01:16,067 His name is Blade and... 44 00:01:18,738 --> 00:01:21,072 She invoked friendship to undercut the laugh, 45 00:01:21,140 --> 00:01:23,340 and we're still laughing. That's how funny it is! 46 00:01:23,408 --> 00:01:25,075 His name is Blade. Is that legal? 47 00:01:25,143 --> 00:01:26,477 Shouldn't new line cinema be suing him? 48 00:01:26,545 --> 00:01:28,779 He was called that before that stupid movie. 49 00:01:28,847 --> 00:01:31,649 He was called that before the fantastic movie. 50 00:01:31,717 --> 00:01:33,150 And it was a marvel comic in 1973. 51 00:01:33,218 --> 00:01:34,418 Well, nerd alert. 52 00:01:34,486 --> 00:01:36,220 Well, ex-boyfriend named Blade alert. 53 00:01:36,287 --> 00:01:37,421 [Chuckling] 54 00:01:37,489 --> 00:01:40,156 Her love life makes Pierce seem with it. 55 00:01:40,224 --> 00:01:41,558 Her pain unifies us. 56 00:01:41,626 --> 00:01:44,432 She has the king Arthur of bad taste in men. 57 00:01:44,447 --> 00:01:46,158 I'm glad you guys are reacting this way. 58 00:01:46,196 --> 00:01:48,923 I need to be reminded that he is the worst on earth. 59 00:01:48,983 --> 00:01:51,084 Because if he comes through town and calls me, 60 00:01:51,128 --> 00:01:52,946 I will be there in five minutes. 61 00:01:53,057 --> 00:01:55,011 - I don't understand. - Uh, Andre much? 62 00:01:55,034 --> 00:01:56,771 - Okay, I understand. - I don't. 63 00:01:56,840 --> 00:01:57,907 - You will. - What's that mean? 64 00:01:57,974 --> 00:01:59,775 - He's hung. - Oh, God! 65 00:01:59,843 --> 00:02:01,076 Pierce, you're disgusting. 66 00:02:01,144 --> 00:02:02,578 Just like that I'm disgusting again. 67 00:02:02,646 --> 00:02:05,748 [Scoffs] I was one of the gang. It was in my hand. 68 00:02:05,815 --> 00:02:07,370 Sometimes, a woman meets a man 69 00:02:07,441 --> 00:02:09,102 that she just can't shake from her system 70 00:02:09,103 --> 00:02:10,735 no matter much she knows better. 71 00:02:10,898 --> 00:02:13,140 I lucked out with Andre, but God help me. 72 00:02:13,190 --> 00:02:15,169 As you all know, there's not a lot he couldn't get away with. 73 00:02:15,223 --> 00:02:17,992 So what, Britta? You're in love with a guy 74 00:02:18,060 --> 00:02:19,961 who's named after a kickboxing vampire movie? 75 00:02:20,029 --> 00:02:22,597 A fantastic kickboxing vampire movie. 76 00:02:22,665 --> 00:02:25,933 No, I don't believe in love because of this guy... 77 00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:28,334 [Choking up] Named after a kickboxing vampire movie. 78 00:02:28,402 --> 00:02:29,879 Oh, Britta! 79 00:02:29,921 --> 00:02:31,340 Oh, sweetie. 80 00:02:31,376 --> 00:02:32,353 You wanna watch Blade tonight? 81 00:02:32,354 --> 00:02:33,487 Yes. 82 00:02:34,147 --> 00:02:37,516 ♪ Give me some rope, time in a tree ♪ 83 00:02:37,554 --> 00:02:40,388 ♪ Give me the hope to run out of steam ♪ 84 00:02:40,582 --> 00:02:44,129 ♪ Somebody said we could be here ♪ 85 00:02:44,168 --> 00:02:47,985 ♪ We could be roped up, tied up, dead in a year ♪ 86 00:02:48,064 --> 00:02:53,009 ♪ I can't count the reasons I should stay ♪ 87 00:02:53,078 --> 00:02:57,345 ♪ One by one they all just fade away ♪ 88 00:02:57,395 --> 00:03:00,341 Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com. Resync for WEB-DL by Norther 89 00:03:00,963 --> 00:03:03,065 Ugh, I love that I have a locker now. 90 00:03:03,097 --> 00:03:04,764 All that wasted time going to my car 91 00:03:04,832 --> 00:03:07,000 for mid-afternoon wardrobe adjustments. 92 00:03:07,067 --> 00:03:09,669 What do you think, hmm? Stick with what's working? 93 00:03:09,736 --> 00:03:10,837 You're gonna change your shirt? 94 00:03:10,905 --> 00:03:12,371 Not if it's working. 95 00:03:12,439 --> 00:03:14,439 - It's not working. - Yeah. 96 00:03:14,507 --> 00:03:16,474 You're right. I knew it. 97 00:03:16,542 --> 00:03:19,377 - I'll have what she's having. - Hey, grow up, lady! 98 00:03:19,445 --> 00:03:21,880 - Annie! - His shirt wasn't working! 99 00:03:21,948 --> 00:03:23,248 I need your help. 100 00:03:23,316 --> 00:03:24,683 It Blade's carnival that's coming. 101 00:03:24,750 --> 00:03:26,718 He's working the BB gun duck-shooting gallery. 102 00:03:26,786 --> 00:03:28,620 I guess he finally got the promotion. 103 00:03:28,688 --> 00:03:30,054 And he will call me. 104 00:03:30,122 --> 00:03:31,422 And left unattended, 105 00:03:31,489 --> 00:03:33,424 I will end up doing him like a crossword, 106 00:03:33,491 --> 00:03:34,992 and I will regret it. 107 00:03:35,060 --> 00:03:36,327 So I need you to take my phone, 108 00:03:36,394 --> 00:03:37,661 and don't give it back until Monday! 109 00:03:37,729 --> 00:03:38,662 Of course. Okay. 110 00:03:38,730 --> 00:03:40,164 - For real? - Pipe it! 111 00:03:40,232 --> 00:03:42,266 And I need to stay with you this weekend. 112 00:03:42,334 --> 00:03:45,036 Not just stay with you, I need to be on lockdown. 113 00:03:45,103 --> 00:03:47,637 You were a pillhead, so think of Blade as Adderall. 114 00:03:47,705 --> 00:03:49,372 And handcuff me to the radiator 115 00:03:49,440 --> 00:03:51,875 like a mother-flipping carny-banging werewolf. 116 00:03:51,943 --> 00:03:53,409 I got this. I got this. 117 00:03:53,477 --> 00:03:54,744 Our apartment has central heating, 118 00:03:54,812 --> 00:03:56,379 but I get the idea-- stay strong. 119 00:03:56,447 --> 00:03:58,915 Man, I wonder how many women I've affected this way. 120 00:03:58,983 --> 00:04:00,116 Ha ha! 121 00:04:00,184 --> 00:04:01,318 [Forced laughter] 122 00:04:01,385 --> 00:04:03,886 [Exaggerated laughter] 123 00:04:03,954 --> 00:04:05,354 Whoo whoo! 124 00:04:05,421 --> 00:04:07,622 All aboard the human being railway! 125 00:04:07,690 --> 00:04:09,424 Next stop, spo-- 126 00:04:09,492 --> 00:04:10,893 - I'll get to the point. 127 00:04:10,961 --> 00:04:12,561 I'd like your student Troy Barnes 128 00:04:12,628 --> 00:04:15,030 enrolled in the air conditioning repair program immediately. 129 00:04:15,098 --> 00:04:18,233 Oh, a wonderful opportunity for a young man of... 130 00:04:18,300 --> 00:04:19,834 Urban race. 131 00:04:19,902 --> 00:04:22,803 Yet try as I might, I'm unable to make him see it that way. 132 00:04:22,872 --> 00:04:25,706 I need you to change his mind. 133 00:04:25,774 --> 00:04:27,909 But if he's not interested, what can I do? 134 00:04:27,977 --> 00:04:30,478 Dean, have we forgotten that your school 135 00:04:30,545 --> 00:04:32,981 is under the ac repair school's thumb? 136 00:04:33,048 --> 00:04:34,447 Uh, we have not. 137 00:04:34,515 --> 00:04:37,650 Then mine is not to tell you how to do what I want done. 138 00:04:37,718 --> 00:04:39,286 Mine is to want 139 00:04:39,354 --> 00:04:42,155 and to say my want. 140 00:04:42,223 --> 00:04:44,091 Yours is to know and to do. 141 00:04:44,158 --> 00:04:45,792 I know exactly what to do. 142 00:04:48,596 --> 00:04:53,799 Natalie, could you get me a, um, book on how to do things? 143 00:04:53,867 --> 00:04:55,902 You know what, just make me a scotch and soda. 144 00:04:55,969 --> 00:04:57,803 - Make it yourself! - I don't know how. 145 00:04:57,871 --> 00:04:59,405 [Screaming on TV] 146 00:04:59,472 --> 00:05:00,873 I love Blade's special Blade weapons. 147 00:05:00,941 --> 00:05:02,741 Yeah, see that sword? It has two blades. 148 00:05:02,809 --> 00:05:03,881 One blade is silver, 149 00:05:03,882 --> 00:05:05,278 the other blade is infused with garlic. 150 00:05:05,352 --> 00:05:07,145 - I should check my messages. - No. 151 00:05:07,213 --> 00:05:09,580 Guys, could we maybe watch a different movie 152 00:05:09,648 --> 00:05:11,783 or just stop saying that word six times per minute? 153 00:05:11,850 --> 00:05:12,834 - What word? - Blade. 154 00:05:12,873 --> 00:05:14,180 Oh, because of Britta's ex-boyfriend. 155 00:05:14,232 --> 00:05:15,772 Can you check my messages for me 156 00:05:15,788 --> 00:05:16,845 and tell me if he called? 157 00:05:16,846 --> 00:05:17,936 I don't think that's a good idea. 158 00:05:17,975 --> 00:05:19,046 What if my mother died? 159 00:05:19,047 --> 00:05:21,194 You guys are really talking over Blade. 160 00:05:21,493 --> 00:05:23,531 - Not cool! - Annie, subdue your guest. 161 00:05:23,532 --> 00:05:25,277 Annie, think for one second. 162 00:05:25,389 --> 00:05:27,556 You have my phone, and you're not even checking it. 163 00:05:27,765 --> 00:05:29,033 What if my mother is dying? 164 00:05:29,100 --> 00:05:30,233 This is junkie talk. 165 00:05:30,289 --> 00:05:31,811 You just wanna know where your phone's hidden. 166 00:05:31,812 --> 00:05:33,489 I just wanna know if my mother is dying. 167 00:05:33,519 --> 00:05:36,066 It's a simple yes or no. I'll cover my eyes. 168 00:05:36,128 --> 00:05:37,509 You go check my phone and say, 169 00:05:37,510 --> 00:05:40,651 "no, your mother isn't dying" or "yes, your mother is dying," 170 00:05:40,777 --> 00:05:44,247 and then we go back to watching the film. 171 00:05:44,315 --> 00:05:47,250 [Sighs] 172 00:05:56,225 --> 00:05:57,759 Give it to me! 173 00:05:57,827 --> 00:05:59,527 That's right, Britta. It's a banana. 174 00:05:59,595 --> 00:06:02,030 Why is there a banana in your DVD cabinet? 175 00:06:02,098 --> 00:06:04,466 Read the banana, Britta. 176 00:06:04,533 --> 00:06:06,534 "You are a lying junkie." 177 00:06:06,602 --> 00:06:08,036 I'm sure those words hurt. 178 00:06:08,104 --> 00:06:11,305 But you wouldn't be reading them if they weren't true. 179 00:06:11,373 --> 00:06:14,808 I am so weak. 180 00:06:14,876 --> 00:06:17,744 But we are not defined by our limitations. 181 00:06:17,812 --> 00:06:20,081 We are defined by our potentials. 182 00:06:20,148 --> 00:06:21,648 I have the potential to watch Blade. 183 00:06:21,716 --> 00:06:24,679 You two are bad friends! Bad. 184 00:06:24,723 --> 00:06:26,498 That's unfair. What about you guys? 185 00:06:26,553 --> 00:06:28,955 Okay, you don't like our movie, we can't say the word "Blade," 186 00:06:29,023 --> 00:06:30,523 there's phones in the refrigerator. 187 00:06:30,591 --> 00:06:31,992 Oops. 188 00:06:32,059 --> 00:06:34,227 - Troy, Abed! - Let me see if he called! 189 00:06:34,295 --> 00:06:36,529 I have a right to know! You're monsters! 190 00:06:36,597 --> 00:06:39,265 You're Hitlers! You're racist pedophiles! 191 00:06:39,333 --> 00:06:41,234 You're the opposites of Batman! 192 00:06:41,302 --> 00:06:42,567 You don't know what that means. 193 00:06:42,635 --> 00:06:44,736 Gonna rip out your throats and eat your-- 194 00:06:44,804 --> 00:06:46,205 Still think the lock was overkill? 195 00:06:46,272 --> 00:06:47,939 [Banging] No. 196 00:06:48,008 --> 00:06:49,941 [Imitating troy] There's phones in the refrigerator. 197 00:06:50,010 --> 00:06:52,677 [Loud banging] It's you. 198 00:06:52,745 --> 00:06:55,214 [Knocking at front door] 199 00:06:56,916 --> 00:06:59,717 ♪ Boys' night! ♪ 200 00:06:59,784 --> 00:07:01,119 I need help reacting to something. 201 00:07:01,732 --> 00:07:03,146 Hi! 202 00:07:06,785 --> 00:07:08,865 Remember it's just a quick icky play. 203 00:07:08,866 --> 00:07:10,113 You tell anyone we did this, 204 00:07:10,150 --> 00:07:11,863 I will stop letting you do things with me 205 00:07:11,931 --> 00:07:13,398 I'm afraid to tell anyone about. 206 00:07:13,418 --> 00:07:14,252 Hey, I get it. 207 00:07:14,253 --> 00:07:15,724 You wanna take a look at Britta's ex-boyfriend. 208 00:07:15,725 --> 00:07:17,560 If you did it by yourself, you'd be weird. 209 00:07:19,089 --> 00:07:20,555 You're the only one that really understands me. 210 00:07:20,592 --> 00:07:21,256 Oh, funky. 211 00:07:21,415 --> 00:07:22,314 Ha! 212 00:07:23,065 --> 00:07:24,420 What, are you guys on a date? 213 00:07:24,738 --> 00:07:26,605 Pretty awkward. Look what Pierce won me. 214 00:07:26,673 --> 00:07:28,107 What is this? 215 00:07:28,175 --> 00:07:30,487 I decided to go outside the group for a best friend. 216 00:07:30,607 --> 00:07:31,907 And you couldn't do better than Chang? 217 00:07:31,974 --> 00:07:33,074 You take that back! 218 00:07:33,142 --> 00:07:34,576 He could do plenty better than me. 219 00:07:34,644 --> 00:07:36,544 I was the first to say yes. 220 00:07:36,612 --> 00:07:37,745 Well, have fun forcing life. 221 00:07:37,813 --> 00:07:40,047 Both: We will. 222 00:07:40,115 --> 00:07:41,382 What do you wanna do next? 223 00:07:41,450 --> 00:07:42,684 - Cotton candy? - Russian roulette? 224 00:07:42,751 --> 00:07:45,320 - What did you say? - Cotton candy sounds great. 225 00:07:46,888 --> 00:07:49,824 Oh, thank you. 226 00:07:53,294 --> 00:07:55,462 That's it? Huh. 227 00:07:55,530 --> 00:07:57,331 Hmm. He's not as good-looking as you. 228 00:07:57,398 --> 00:07:58,998 - I wasn't fishing for that. - No, no, no. 229 00:07:59,066 --> 00:08:01,535 I offered it freely. Come on, I wanna go on a ride. 230 00:08:01,602 --> 00:08:02,649 This is a window for me. 231 00:08:02,683 --> 00:08:04,083 I spent my carnival years pregnant. 232 00:08:04,144 --> 00:08:05,253 Shirley, I'm not jealous. 233 00:08:05,299 --> 00:08:06,867 I just wanted to see what the deal was. 234 00:08:07,007 --> 00:08:08,996 Obviously the deal is he's a dirtball, 235 00:08:08,997 --> 00:08:10,934 Britta hates herself, voila. 236 00:08:11,056 --> 00:08:12,323 What do you wanna do? 237 00:08:12,346 --> 00:08:13,765 I'd like to go on a ride. 238 00:08:13,766 --> 00:08:15,210 Let's go shoot some ducks. 239 00:08:15,349 --> 00:08:17,082 Jeffrey! 240 00:08:17,610 --> 00:08:18,931 Eight of clubs. I win. 241 00:08:18,985 --> 00:08:21,220 Nice! [Giggling] 242 00:08:21,287 --> 00:08:24,055 - How are you feeling? - Good. 243 00:08:24,442 --> 00:08:26,397 Great, actually. Thank you, Annie. 244 00:08:26,398 --> 00:08:27,886 I could've never done this without you. 245 00:08:27,887 --> 00:08:29,286 I'm glad to be able to help you. 246 00:08:29,328 --> 00:08:30,192 I want you to know-- 247 00:08:30,193 --> 00:08:31,451 and I've never said these words-- 248 00:08:31,452 --> 00:08:32,819 but I've always felt them. 249 00:08:33,077 --> 00:08:34,366 You're a sister to me. 250 00:08:34,433 --> 00:08:35,834 [Gasps] 251 00:08:35,901 --> 00:08:38,202 Britta! 252 00:08:38,270 --> 00:08:40,937 Whoo! 253 00:08:41,005 --> 00:08:42,239 Hey, little sis, 254 00:08:42,305 --> 00:08:44,705 do you think you could trust me to have my phone back now? 255 00:08:44,706 --> 00:08:46,202 I've got my email on there, 256 00:08:46,203 --> 00:08:48,091 my calendar, homework assignments. 257 00:08:48,092 --> 00:08:49,992 I'm kinda screwed without it. 258 00:08:50,532 --> 00:08:52,352 You're not just manipulating me, right? 259 00:08:52,421 --> 00:08:54,835 Oh, because of... Oh, jeez. 260 00:08:54,886 --> 00:08:57,086 Yeah, whatever. That's over, Annie. 261 00:08:57,153 --> 00:08:58,254 Seriously. 262 00:08:58,321 --> 00:09:00,757 Okay, I have it right here. 263 00:09:00,824 --> 00:09:02,592 It's a gateway to further trust. 264 00:09:02,659 --> 00:09:04,093 Perfect. Thank you. 265 00:09:04,160 --> 00:09:08,431 Love the gateway. Honoring the gateway. 266 00:09:08,499 --> 00:09:11,000 I have to call my doctor for some results. 267 00:09:11,067 --> 00:09:13,301 Don't worry, I'm fine. It's just a little personal. 268 00:09:13,369 --> 00:09:16,438 You need privacy, sure thing. I'll check on you later. 269 00:09:16,506 --> 00:09:18,973 Bye. Thank you, sweetie. 270 00:09:21,511 --> 00:09:22,878 [Screaming on TV] 271 00:09:22,945 --> 00:09:25,213 Boy, this guy doesn't give vampires 272 00:09:25,281 --> 00:09:26,581 a square inch of leeway. 273 00:09:26,649 --> 00:09:28,015 He's harsh. 274 00:09:30,452 --> 00:09:32,386 What's wrong, Annie? 275 00:09:32,454 --> 00:09:33,754 You came out of the bedroom smiling, 276 00:09:33,822 --> 00:09:35,956 and then your smile faded as you leaned against the door. 277 00:09:36,024 --> 00:09:37,558 I gave Britta her phone. 278 00:09:37,626 --> 00:09:39,293 You did? Why? 279 00:09:39,360 --> 00:09:41,529 She needs to feel trust to recover, or she'll relapse. 280 00:09:41,596 --> 00:09:43,596 She's gonna relapse because you gave her her phone. 281 00:09:43,664 --> 00:09:45,832 No, I secretly switched Blade's number in her phone 282 00:09:45,900 --> 00:09:47,166 to my number. 283 00:09:47,234 --> 00:09:48,468 So if she tries to get in touch with him, 284 00:09:48,536 --> 00:09:50,169 - it'll come to me. - That's diabolical. 285 00:09:50,237 --> 00:09:51,838 Yeah, you're just like Blade, man. 286 00:09:51,906 --> 00:09:53,172 Straight up. 287 00:09:53,240 --> 00:09:54,941 I just hope she can find the strength to-- 288 00:09:55,008 --> 00:09:56,843 [phone buzzing] 289 00:09:56,911 --> 00:09:58,545 She's probably just telling him 290 00:09:58,612 --> 00:10:00,646 she's... dying to feel the warmth of his... 291 00:10:00,713 --> 00:10:03,048 Are you kidding me? 292 00:10:03,115 --> 00:10:05,083 She said we were sisters. 293 00:10:05,151 --> 00:10:08,153 I am so sad right now. [Phone buzzing] 294 00:10:08,220 --> 00:10:11,690 And she is so codependent! 295 00:10:11,758 --> 00:10:13,024 And such a bad speller. 296 00:10:13,092 --> 00:10:17,294 [Phone buzzing] 297 00:10:18,630 --> 00:10:20,665 Nice shootin'. Tough luck. 298 00:10:20,732 --> 00:10:23,468 Thanks. I'll go another round. 299 00:10:23,535 --> 00:10:25,803 There's room in our bed for three bears, right, honey? 300 00:10:25,871 --> 00:10:27,505 And then some, sugar. 301 00:10:27,573 --> 00:10:29,039 You're very nice... 302 00:10:29,107 --> 00:10:31,075 For a man named... What'd you say it was? Blade? 303 00:10:31,142 --> 00:10:32,442 Yup. 304 00:10:32,510 --> 00:10:34,243 But that's a carnival name though, right? 305 00:10:34,311 --> 00:10:36,513 A nom de corn dog? 306 00:10:36,581 --> 00:10:37,848 Why would I have a carnival name? 307 00:10:37,915 --> 00:10:39,148 Your parents named you Blade? 308 00:10:39,216 --> 00:10:40,517 Apparently. 309 00:10:40,585 --> 00:10:43,119 Well, you seem okay with it. 310 00:10:43,187 --> 00:10:45,221 Not much to do about it. 311 00:10:45,289 --> 00:10:46,222 Both: You could change it. 312 00:10:46,290 --> 00:10:49,525 To what? Templeton Ferrari III? 313 00:10:49,593 --> 00:10:51,560 Won't change how mustard tastes. 314 00:10:51,628 --> 00:10:53,863 I'll be right back. 315 00:10:53,930 --> 00:10:55,965 Huh. Won't change how mustard tastes. 316 00:10:56,032 --> 00:10:58,066 I get it. I see the appeal. 317 00:10:58,134 --> 00:10:59,902 He's relaxed, he's cool. 318 00:10:59,970 --> 00:11:03,571 N-not as cool as you. 319 00:11:03,639 --> 00:11:06,173 Mr. Blade. I want three more rounds. 320 00:11:06,241 --> 00:11:07,408 Jeffrey! 321 00:11:07,476 --> 00:11:08,776 Not gonna change the way mustard tastes. 322 00:11:08,844 --> 00:11:10,177 Oh, and you're so cool, Shirley. 323 00:11:10,245 --> 00:11:11,846 Sometimes I am. 324 00:11:11,914 --> 00:11:14,516 [Pierce and Chang chuckling] 325 00:11:14,583 --> 00:11:16,050 How many times are they gonna do that? 326 00:11:16,118 --> 00:11:17,719 Aw, this is it, isn't it? 327 00:11:17,786 --> 00:11:19,120 We're becoming best friends. 328 00:11:19,187 --> 00:11:22,723 I think so. I think so. 329 00:11:22,790 --> 00:11:27,193 ♪ Would you let me be your best friend ♪ 330 00:11:27,261 --> 00:11:30,664 ♪ I would call you every day ♪ 331 00:11:30,732 --> 00:11:31,899 [Screaming on TV] 332 00:11:31,966 --> 00:11:36,168 Oh, my God! One after the other! 333 00:11:36,236 --> 00:11:37,970 "I'm texting to tell you I'm not texting you any more. 334 00:11:38,038 --> 00:11:40,372 "I'm sorry, I didn't mean that. 335 00:11:40,440 --> 00:11:42,441 "Are you mad at me now? 336 00:11:42,509 --> 00:11:44,677 Fine. I guess you don't wanna know our two-year-old." 337 00:11:44,745 --> 00:11:46,078 Can we please just put it 338 00:11:46,146 --> 00:11:47,644 under a stack of mattresses or something? 339 00:11:47,645 --> 00:11:49,037 I don't know. When is she gonna take a hint? 340 00:11:49,072 --> 00:11:51,088 Britta's attracted to unavailable men. 341 00:11:51,129 --> 00:11:54,163 - Dean, why are you here? - Ouch. 342 00:11:54,230 --> 00:11:57,160 Fine. Let's make him available. 343 00:11:57,189 --> 00:11:59,123 - What are you doing? - Ending this. 344 00:11:59,191 --> 00:12:02,160 "Leave me alone." All: No! 345 00:12:02,227 --> 00:12:05,129 That's so much worse. 346 00:12:05,197 --> 00:12:07,231 See? She stopped. 347 00:12:07,299 --> 00:12:10,801 [Phone buzzing] 348 00:12:12,303 --> 00:12:13,704 She's calling him? 349 00:12:13,772 --> 00:12:15,138 She was born in the '80s. 350 00:12:15,206 --> 00:12:16,907 She still uses her phone as a phone. 351 00:12:16,975 --> 00:12:18,341 - Uh-oh. - That's fine, it's fine. 352 00:12:18,409 --> 00:12:21,445 - We just won't answer it. - Won't it go to your voicemail? 353 00:12:23,014 --> 00:12:26,215 Hello? Blade? 354 00:12:26,283 --> 00:12:31,153 [Throaty masculine chuckle] 355 00:12:33,023 --> 00:12:34,023 There you go. 356 00:12:34,091 --> 00:12:35,424 I don't know! 357 00:12:35,492 --> 00:12:37,727 Change your settings so it doesn't go to voicemail. 358 00:12:37,795 --> 00:12:40,028 Too late. 359 00:12:40,096 --> 00:12:42,664 You guys act like a carnival. Be a carnival. 360 00:12:42,732 --> 00:12:44,666 [Beep] Now! 361 00:12:44,734 --> 00:12:46,635 - Step right up! - Ding, ding, ding! 362 00:12:46,703 --> 00:12:48,103 [Oldtimey voice] Get your popcorn here. 363 00:12:48,170 --> 00:12:51,073 - Hello? - [Deep voice] Busy, babe. 364 00:12:51,140 --> 00:12:52,808 Blade, just wait. Wait, Bla... 365 00:12:52,875 --> 00:12:54,076 [Beep] 366 00:12:54,143 --> 00:12:57,211 I told you not to call me at work! 367 00:12:57,278 --> 00:12:59,647 [Phone buzzing] "I'm sorry, I forgot. 368 00:12:59,715 --> 00:13:01,582 Don't be mad at me." 369 00:13:01,650 --> 00:13:03,684 She's whipped by an imaginary douche. 370 00:13:03,752 --> 00:13:06,520 Hey, don't knock it till you try it. 371 00:13:06,588 --> 00:13:08,555 I got my fake bachelor's degree, 372 00:13:08,624 --> 00:13:10,658 and then I cheated on the LSAT. 373 00:13:10,726 --> 00:13:12,659 You're probably wondering, how do you cheat on the LSAT? 374 00:13:12,693 --> 00:13:13,617 How? 375 00:13:13,640 --> 00:13:15,685 A magician never reveals his secrets, my friend. 376 00:13:15,782 --> 00:13:17,031 Ah. 377 00:13:17,082 --> 00:13:20,050 [Shooting, ducks quacking] 378 00:13:20,267 --> 00:13:23,402 - Yeah! In your face! - Good job. 379 00:13:23,470 --> 00:13:26,205 Uh, give me the big one! Yeah, that's the one. 380 00:13:26,273 --> 00:13:28,440 Yeah. 381 00:13:28,508 --> 00:13:29,842 Not too shabby, huh? 382 00:13:29,909 --> 00:13:31,977 Yeah, you really did it, baby. 383 00:13:32,045 --> 00:13:33,445 So you dropped out of high school 384 00:13:33,513 --> 00:13:35,014 and joined the carnival. 385 00:13:35,081 --> 00:13:36,615 And 15 years later, here you are. 386 00:13:36,683 --> 00:13:38,250 - Jeffrey! - Guess that's about it. 387 00:13:38,317 --> 00:13:39,818 So what's the record? 388 00:13:39,886 --> 00:13:41,386 What's the best anyone's ever done in this booth? 389 00:13:41,454 --> 00:13:44,122 - I guess eight ducks. - All right, one more round. 390 00:13:44,189 --> 00:13:45,289 One more round. 391 00:13:45,357 --> 00:13:47,191 - Jeff? - Honey? 392 00:13:47,259 --> 00:13:48,860 Will you excuse us just for a moment, please? 393 00:13:48,927 --> 00:13:50,061 Certainly. 394 00:13:50,129 --> 00:13:52,196 Can you get over here? 395 00:13:54,533 --> 00:13:56,734 - What is your end game here? - I don't know. 396 00:13:56,802 --> 00:13:58,402 - I wanna know. - Wanna know what? 397 00:13:58,470 --> 00:14:00,370 I wanna know what drove Britta crazy about him. 398 00:14:00,437 --> 00:14:02,906 Are you jealous? Are you in love with Britta? 399 00:14:02,974 --> 00:14:04,207 No, I am not in love with Britta. 400 00:14:04,275 --> 00:14:05,742 And yes, I'm insanely jealous of him. 401 00:14:05,810 --> 00:14:07,210 What's his secret? 402 00:14:07,278 --> 00:14:09,112 Why do you wanna know the secret to making a woman psycho? 403 00:14:09,180 --> 00:14:10,947 Why do we wanna know how to blow up the earth 404 00:14:11,015 --> 00:14:12,916 or grow a human ear on a mouse? 405 00:14:12,984 --> 00:14:14,417 In case we have to, Shirley. 406 00:14:14,485 --> 00:14:15,751 In case we have to. 407 00:14:15,819 --> 00:14:18,721 - I'm going to find Pierce. - Good! 408 00:14:18,789 --> 00:14:21,390 One of those bears is mine! 409 00:14:21,457 --> 00:14:23,925 So this is best friendship. 410 00:14:23,993 --> 00:14:25,359 Something else, isn't it? 411 00:14:25,427 --> 00:14:26,761 How do we keep it going? 412 00:14:26,829 --> 00:14:28,096 How do we know we won't get into a fight? 413 00:14:28,164 --> 00:14:29,731 I say we just let it happen. 414 00:14:29,799 --> 00:14:32,033 Don't tell me what to do! 415 00:14:32,101 --> 00:14:33,368 - What's your problem? - What's yours? 416 00:14:33,488 --> 00:14:34,997 I'm outta here! 417 00:14:37,339 --> 00:14:41,541 ♪ This is the last time ♪ 418 00:14:41,609 --> 00:14:46,379 ♪ This is the last time I'll see you smile ♪ 419 00:14:46,414 --> 00:14:48,448 ♪ Good-bye ♪ 420 00:14:48,549 --> 00:14:50,784 ♪ My friend ♪ 421 00:14:50,885 --> 00:14:54,788 ♪ I'll miss you every night ♪ 422 00:14:58,637 --> 00:15:00,371 ♪ Good-bye ♪ 423 00:15:06,292 --> 00:15:09,327 Blade, 'sup? Message. 424 00:15:10,889 --> 00:15:12,816 Okay. We can stop worrying about voicemail now. 425 00:15:12,842 --> 00:15:14,343 Back to the matter at hand. 426 00:15:14,410 --> 00:15:15,877 Now what are you doing? 427 00:15:15,945 --> 00:15:18,245 - Dean, why are you here? - Yikes. 428 00:15:18,313 --> 00:15:20,414 I figured it out. I know exactly what to do. 429 00:15:20,482 --> 00:15:23,317 I'm just gonna be really, really, really mean to her. 430 00:15:23,385 --> 00:15:24,551 Uh. 431 00:15:24,619 --> 00:15:25,919 What don't you get about the concept? 432 00:15:25,988 --> 00:15:28,990 Britta likes guys who are mean to her. 433 00:15:29,057 --> 00:15:31,158 She doesn't like herself. 434 00:15:31,226 --> 00:15:34,160 Give me the phone. 435 00:15:39,033 --> 00:15:40,800 [Phone beeps] What did you say? 436 00:15:40,868 --> 00:15:42,035 Something nice. 437 00:15:42,103 --> 00:15:44,137 Don't worry about it. 438 00:15:44,205 --> 00:15:48,541 I'm deleting it from your phone. 439 00:15:48,609 --> 00:15:51,043 - Hi. - What's up? 440 00:15:51,111 --> 00:15:53,545 You guys still watching movies? 441 00:15:56,049 --> 00:15:57,216 Hi, Dean. Why are you here? 442 00:15:57,283 --> 00:15:59,618 Hi, Britta. And ouch. 443 00:15:59,685 --> 00:16:01,286 And you don't know anything about carpentry. 444 00:16:01,354 --> 00:16:02,687 - Nope. - Or aquariums-- 445 00:16:02,755 --> 00:16:04,356 freshwater or saltwater. 446 00:16:04,424 --> 00:16:06,324 - Do you have a big weiner? - Nope. 447 00:16:06,392 --> 00:16:08,126 I don't get it, Blade! 448 00:16:08,193 --> 00:16:10,928 What's your secret? Why do I wanna impress you? 449 00:16:10,996 --> 00:16:15,066 Are you dumb or smart? Are you a loser or winner? 450 00:16:15,134 --> 00:16:16,700 Or are you just a human mirror? 451 00:16:16,768 --> 00:16:18,469 Do we all see what we wanna see in you? 452 00:16:18,537 --> 00:16:21,506 A magician never reveals, right? 453 00:16:22,973 --> 00:16:25,642 Right. 454 00:16:25,709 --> 00:16:28,445 Later. 455 00:16:28,513 --> 00:16:30,813 Okay. 456 00:16:30,881 --> 00:16:35,118 You dropped over 300 bucks on my booth, so I'll tell ya. 457 00:16:35,186 --> 00:16:36,686 You wanna know my secret? 458 00:16:36,754 --> 00:16:40,156 Yes. 459 00:16:40,223 --> 00:16:43,492 Yes, I do. 460 00:16:43,560 --> 00:16:47,063 [Screaming on TV] 461 00:16:47,130 --> 00:16:48,397 Britta and Troy: What are you doing? 462 00:16:48,465 --> 00:16:49,898 I wanna know. 463 00:16:49,966 --> 00:16:51,900 Okay, I'm sorry. 464 00:16:51,968 --> 00:16:54,602 I was texting with Blade, but it's over now. 465 00:16:54,670 --> 00:16:58,540 He's... a loser. 466 00:17:00,566 --> 00:17:01,833 Good night. 467 00:17:01,916 --> 00:17:04,385 Uh, uh, uh... Troy! 468 00:17:04,437 --> 00:17:05,837 You should really join 469 00:17:05,880 --> 00:17:07,614 the air conditioning repair program. 470 00:17:07,643 --> 00:17:09,511 - No. - Well, that didn't work. 471 00:17:09,554 --> 00:17:10,910 That's what I get for improvising. 472 00:17:10,945 --> 00:17:13,880 Good night. 473 00:17:13,971 --> 00:17:14,925 So I don't get it. 474 00:17:14,926 --> 00:17:17,767 He's a vampire, but he can walk around during the day? 475 00:17:18,038 --> 00:17:22,074 - What... is wrong with you? - Huh? 476 00:17:22,142 --> 00:17:24,704 You weren't texting Blade, you were texting us. 477 00:17:24,734 --> 00:17:26,634 I switched Blade's number in your phone to mine. 478 00:17:26,687 --> 00:17:29,339 - You tricked me? - You tricked me! 479 00:17:29,396 --> 00:17:31,910 You ask for my help, you tell me I'm your sister, 480 00:17:31,954 --> 00:17:35,242 I do everything I can to make you hate this turd, 481 00:17:35,243 --> 00:17:38,472 and the first nice thing he says, and you're over him? 482 00:17:38,678 --> 00:17:41,214 Who are you? 483 00:17:41,281 --> 00:17:42,614 And why didn't it stick? 484 00:17:42,681 --> 00:17:46,651 I was texting with you guys this whole time? 485 00:17:46,719 --> 00:17:50,322 So Blade... isn't a loser! [Gasps] 486 00:17:50,389 --> 00:17:51,789 Uh-oh. 487 00:17:51,857 --> 00:17:55,594 No, let her go. Lost cause, man. 488 00:17:55,661 --> 00:17:57,562 Jeff! What are you doing here? 489 00:17:57,630 --> 00:17:59,196 I just got back from the carnival... 490 00:17:59,264 --> 00:18:00,331 Where I met Blade. 491 00:18:00,398 --> 00:18:01,465 Is he okay? How is he? 492 00:18:01,533 --> 00:18:02,539 He's brain damaged. 493 00:18:02,598 --> 00:18:04,473 - Well, let's not be petty. - No, I'm serious. 494 00:18:04,524 --> 00:18:05,758 He showed me the scar. 495 00:18:05,882 --> 00:18:07,983 Ten years ago, before he even met you, 496 00:18:08,222 --> 00:18:10,284 a loose bolt flew off a Ferris wheel 497 00:18:10,299 --> 00:18:11,954 and imbedded in his skull, 498 00:18:12,036 --> 00:18:16,873 destroying the part of his brain that feels shame. 499 00:18:17,214 --> 00:18:20,650 He's basically irresistible to people for the same reason 500 00:18:20,717 --> 00:18:24,086 he can pretty much only work at a carnival. 501 00:18:24,155 --> 00:18:26,422 He has nothing to prove or disprove 502 00:18:26,490 --> 00:18:29,125 about himself or to himself. 503 00:18:29,193 --> 00:18:30,459 He has no shame. 504 00:18:30,527 --> 00:18:32,161 Why wouldn't he have told me that? 505 00:18:32,228 --> 00:18:33,928 Because he didn't care if you knew. 506 00:18:33,996 --> 00:18:36,231 That is so like him. 507 00:18:36,299 --> 00:18:38,900 - I have to go to him. - No, woman. 508 00:18:38,968 --> 00:18:42,103 None of us have to "go to" anyone. 509 00:18:42,172 --> 00:18:43,639 And the idea we do is a mental illness 510 00:18:43,706 --> 00:18:45,707 we contracted from breath mint commercials 511 00:18:45,775 --> 00:18:47,074 and Sandra Bullock. 512 00:18:47,142 --> 00:18:48,876 We can't keep going to each other 513 00:18:48,943 --> 00:18:53,113 until we learn to go to ourselves. 514 00:18:53,182 --> 00:18:56,784 Stop making our hatred of ourselves someone else's job 515 00:18:56,851 --> 00:18:59,654 and just stop hating ourselves. 516 00:19:02,890 --> 00:19:04,191 [Screaming on TV] 517 00:19:04,258 --> 00:19:07,561 [Door opens, closes] 518 00:19:07,628 --> 00:19:10,063 Annie, I want you to take my phone. 519 00:19:10,130 --> 00:19:11,864 Do not let me call Chang. 520 00:19:11,932 --> 00:19:15,702 I'm locking myself in your room. 521 00:19:16,804 --> 00:19:18,337 What are you guys doing out here? 522 00:19:18,405 --> 00:19:19,871 Self-actualizing. 523 00:19:19,939 --> 00:19:21,240 Well, it's loud. 524 00:19:21,308 --> 00:19:23,642 Come watch Blade. 525 00:19:23,710 --> 00:19:26,345 Okay. 526 00:19:58,943 --> 00:20:00,844 This movie is fantastic. 527 00:20:01,951 --> 00:20:07,084 Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com. Resync for WEB-DL by Norther 528 00:20:07,724 --> 00:20:09,404 Y'all ever notice that cold spot in the hallway? 529 00:20:09,436 --> 00:20:10,080 Oh, yeah! 530 00:20:10,148 --> 00:20:12,249 That thing is freezing! 531 00:20:12,316 --> 00:20:14,416 You know what could learn a lesson from that cold spot? 532 00:20:14,484 --> 00:20:17,653 The air conditioning unit in my living room. 533 00:20:17,932 --> 00:20:19,674 Ladies and gentlemen, 534 00:20:19,786 --> 00:20:21,060 so yesterday, typical Sunday. 535 00:20:21,091 --> 00:20:22,442 I was hanging out in my dreamatorium. 536 00:20:22,522 --> 00:20:23,653 Whoo! 537 00:20:23,727 --> 00:20:25,004 This ever happen to you guys? 538 00:20:25,096 --> 00:20:27,232 I couldn't remember where I imagined the door. 539 00:20:27,290 --> 00:20:27,994 [Troy chuckling] 540 00:20:28,057 --> 00:20:32,211 Then I realized I was in an actual bathroom. 541 00:20:33,770 --> 00:20:35,785 Uh, no offense, but this material 542 00:20:35,786 --> 00:20:37,825 seems pretty specific to your apartment. 543 00:20:37,882 --> 00:20:40,050 I don't think it'll work at an open mic. 544 00:20:45,180 --> 00:20:46,313 Y'all ever notice the difference 545 00:20:46,381 --> 00:20:48,582 between me and Troy brushing our teeth? 546 00:20:49,103 --> 00:20:52,138 I brush my teeth like this. 547 00:20:52,237 --> 00:20:55,105 Troy brushes his teeth like this. 548 00:20:55,957 --> 00:20:57,024 [Chuckling] I do! 549 00:20:57,092 --> 00:20:59,226 I do! I brush my teeth just like that. 550 00:20:59,294 --> 00:21:00,940 Now you know what I'm gonna talk about next. 551 00:21:01,060 --> 00:21:02,553 Troy and Abed: Toaster oven! 552 00:21:02,673 --> 00:21:04,119 It's from his album.