1
00:00:21,483 --> 00:00:22,449
D'oh!
2
00:00:25,754 --> 00:00:27,504
♪ ♪
3
00:00:49,844 --> 00:00:50,878
Hey, shut up!
4
00:00:58,577 --> 00:01:02,577
♪ The Simpsons 23x18 ♪
Beware My Cheating Bart
Original Air Date on April 15, 2012
5
00:01:02,602 --> 00:01:06,602
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
6
00:01:10,364 --> 00:01:11,231
Dada.
7
00:01:38,059 --> 00:01:40,227
♪ ♪
8
00:01:55,410 --> 00:01:58,412
Okay, what's an appropriate
movie for you boys?
9
00:01:58,480 --> 00:01:59,480
No. No.
10
00:01:59,547 --> 00:02:01,014
Ooh, here's one!
11
00:02:01,082 --> 00:02:02,916
Happy Little Elves
Two: The Sequelf.
12
00:02:02,984 --> 00:02:03,984
Two kids.
13
00:02:04,052 --> 00:02:05,919
That movie's
for babies.
14
00:02:05,970 --> 00:02:08,722
Eh, watch whatever you want;
I got you here alive.
15
00:02:09,741 --> 00:02:11,241
Now I'm gonna visit
16
00:02:11,309 --> 00:02:13,877
the only court I could never
be in contempt of: food court!
17
00:02:17,382 --> 00:02:20,150
Now, to save on calories,
18
00:02:20,218 --> 00:02:22,352
I won't eat the paper
in the fortune cookie.
19
00:02:34,816 --> 00:02:38,452
Sir, I can't help but noticing
that you are very near death.
20
00:02:38,520 --> 00:02:41,889
Closer than you think.
21
00:02:48,329 --> 00:02:49,913
Ow!
22
00:02:49,981 --> 00:02:51,331
Homer-- Can I
call you Homer?
23
00:02:51,399 --> 00:02:52,666
Sure. What's your name?
24
00:02:52,734 --> 00:02:54,484
Well, I'm not required
to tell you that.
25
00:02:54,552 --> 00:02:56,703
Homer, how long do
you want to live?
26
00:02:56,771 --> 00:03:00,274
Long enough that me and Marge
can be one of those couples
27
00:03:00,341 --> 00:03:03,160
who just sit and hold hands.
28
00:03:03,228 --> 00:03:06,647
I heard Lenny had
a terrible fall.
29
00:03:06,714 --> 00:03:08,332
You know who
else fell?
30
00:03:08,416 --> 00:03:10,000
Dr. Hibbert.
31
00:03:10,068 --> 00:03:13,036
Yeah, falls'll getcha.
32
00:03:13,104 --> 00:03:16,323
Well, I want to help you
make it to that glorious day.
33
00:03:16,374 --> 00:03:17,374
For money.
34
00:03:17,442 --> 00:03:19,776
This is
the Butt-Whisperer 9000.
35
00:03:19,844 --> 00:03:21,545
- Cushioned track...
- Ooh!
36
00:03:21,629 --> 00:03:23,080
hydration dock...
- Got to have that.
37
00:03:23,147 --> 00:03:24,548
built-in HDTV...
- Loving it.
38
00:03:24,632 --> 00:03:26,166
dog-walk side path...
- A must.
39
00:03:26,234 --> 00:03:28,235
liability opt-out button...
- Keep 'em coming.
40
00:03:28,303 --> 00:03:29,870
and drill sergeant mode.
41
00:03:31,072 --> 00:03:32,089
Run, you maggot!
44
00:03:36,911 --> 00:03:39,546
Oh, but I can't afford this.
45
00:03:39,614 --> 00:03:42,282
Homer, you can't
afford $300 a month?
46
00:03:42,350 --> 00:03:43,450
No.
47
00:03:43,518 --> 00:03:45,118
Well, what about
ten dollars a day?
48
00:03:45,186 --> 00:03:47,087
Easy!
49
00:03:47,155 --> 00:03:50,140
How was Crappy Little Elves?
50
00:03:50,208 --> 00:03:53,910
My friend and I only see it
to rank on it.
51
00:03:53,978 --> 00:03:56,513
Get that stuff off!
52
00:03:56,581 --> 00:03:57,914
Take a picture first.
53
00:03:57,982 --> 00:03:59,082
Now!
54
00:04:00,285 --> 00:04:01,969
We're gonna be checking out
55
00:04:02,036 --> 00:04:06,089
a delightful Hong Kong horror
remake known as Crawlspace,
56
00:04:06,157 --> 00:04:08,458
based on Paxing kongjian.
57
00:04:08,526 --> 00:04:10,193
Well, count me out, Jimbo.
58
00:04:10,261 --> 00:04:12,729
I don't need to hear
how every chick in the movie
59
00:04:12,797 --> 00:04:14,615
got what was
coming to them.
60
00:04:14,682 --> 00:04:16,350
Shauna, food
for thought:
61
00:04:16,417 --> 00:04:19,219
if we don't watch movies
about torture in crawl spaces,
62
00:04:19,287 --> 00:04:21,038
how will we
know what to do
63
00:04:21,105 --> 00:04:23,674
if someone puts us in
a torture crawl space?
64
00:04:23,741 --> 00:04:25,876
Not if, when.
65
00:04:25,943 --> 00:04:28,762
Nah, I'm gonna go see one of
those Jennifer Aniston movies
66
00:04:28,830 --> 00:04:30,664
where she rolls her eyes
on the poster.
67
00:04:30,732 --> 00:04:32,299
Mm.
68
00:04:32,367 --> 00:04:35,869
Babe, you know I don't want you
watching a movie by yourself.
69
00:04:35,937 --> 00:04:37,704
You're a total perv magnet.
70
00:04:37,772 --> 00:04:38,939
Aw!
71
00:04:39,007 --> 00:04:40,807
So, I'll find
someone to take you.
72
00:04:40,875 --> 00:04:43,677
Someone unthreatening.
73
00:04:45,330 --> 00:04:47,230
Hey, you know our deal:
74
00:04:47,298 --> 00:04:49,433
chaperones cannot be
humiliating.
75
00:04:49,500 --> 00:04:51,101
She's got you there.
76
00:04:51,169 --> 00:04:53,186
How 'bout this one?
Simpson?
77
00:04:53,254 --> 00:04:54,221
Let's see.
78
00:04:54,288 --> 00:04:55,922
No starter stache,
79
00:04:55,973 --> 00:04:57,407
temp tat,
80
00:04:57,475 --> 00:05:02,095
still has baby teeth
at nine and 24.
81
00:05:02,163 --> 00:05:04,164
Total pre-puber.
82
00:05:04,232 --> 00:05:06,500
Now, you stay close
to my Shauna.
83
00:05:06,567 --> 00:05:09,703
If someone so much as
peels a ladybug decal
84
00:05:09,770 --> 00:05:12,789
off her fake fingernails,
I'm blaming you!
85
00:05:12,874 --> 00:05:14,691
Come on, come on.
86
00:05:14,759 --> 00:05:17,394
The best murder's
always first.
87
00:05:18,763 --> 00:05:20,914
Not my eyelids!
88
00:05:20,982 --> 00:05:22,816
Are you telling me
89
00:05:22,884 --> 00:05:24,551
the real reason you
started dating me
90
00:05:24,619 --> 00:05:26,636
was so you could
buy my flower shop?
91
00:05:26,721 --> 00:05:29,456
Yes. Your lease was
the last thing stopping me
92
00:05:29,507 --> 00:05:31,007
from tearing this place down
93
00:05:31,092 --> 00:05:33,510
and building the biggest
horse crematorium in Manhattan.
94
00:05:33,578 --> 00:05:35,112
But none of that matters now.
95
00:05:38,449 --> 00:05:39,850
All right, we've
seen his ass.
96
00:05:39,917 --> 00:05:40,967
Let's go.
97
00:05:42,103 --> 00:05:44,638
Hey, I can hook you up
98
00:05:44,706 --> 00:05:47,474
with pinto
and black beans.
99
00:05:47,542 --> 00:05:49,776
Oh, I'll do anything
for free beans.
100
00:05:49,844 --> 00:05:50,844
Anything.
101
00:05:50,912 --> 00:05:52,145
Hey, Nametag.
102
00:05:52,213 --> 00:05:54,147
Do you know
who her boyfriend is?
103
00:05:54,215 --> 00:05:55,749
Jimbo Jones.
104
00:05:55,817 --> 00:05:57,484
I got to go sort tortillas!
105
00:05:57,552 --> 00:06:00,087
Corn, flour, corn, corn,
no gluten, corn.
106
00:06:00,154 --> 00:06:01,321
Two stuck together?!
107
00:06:01,389 --> 00:06:03,457
Oh, now I got to fill out
a form!
108
00:06:03,524 --> 00:06:06,042
Listen, lady, you do not
two-time the man
109
00:06:06,110 --> 00:06:07,461
with the skull T-shirt.
110
00:06:07,512 --> 00:06:09,513
Jimbo doesn't
care about me.
111
00:06:09,580 --> 00:06:11,765
He didn't even
notice my side braid.
112
00:06:11,833 --> 00:06:13,233
Oh, that is cool.
113
00:06:13,301 --> 00:06:15,936
Looks like two snakes trying
to kill each other on your head.
114
00:06:16,003 --> 00:06:17,521
That's what I
was going for.
115
00:06:17,605 --> 00:06:20,273
You know, for a second
grader, you're pretty sharp.
116
00:06:20,341 --> 00:06:21,892
I'm actually in fourth grade,
117
00:06:21,976 --> 00:06:24,578
but I read
at a second grade level.
118
00:06:24,645 --> 00:06:26,346
They think I might
have a problem.
119
00:06:26,414 --> 00:06:27,581
Wow.
120
00:06:27,648 --> 00:06:29,349
Why did I see that movie
121
00:06:29,417 --> 00:06:31,585
the day before I have to
clean the crawl space?
122
00:06:31,652 --> 00:06:33,253
Come on, boy!
We've got to go home!
123
00:06:33,321 --> 00:06:36,490
I saved big bucks
on the delivery charges.
124
00:06:38,826 --> 00:06:39,893
D'oh!
125
00:06:39,961 --> 00:06:41,361
I got to go.
126
00:06:41,429 --> 00:06:42,596
He's my ride.
127
00:06:42,663 --> 00:06:44,464
Not so fast, Simpson.
128
00:06:44,532 --> 00:06:47,734
FYI, you got another date
tomorrow with Shauna.
129
00:06:49,070 --> 00:06:50,337
Why can't you do it?
130
00:06:50,404 --> 00:06:52,172
We're going to a seminar:
131
00:06:52,240 --> 00:06:55,308
"Extracting Lunch Money
from a Cashless Society."
132
00:06:55,376 --> 00:06:57,511
We're gonna rob the guy
giving the seminar.
133
00:06:57,578 --> 00:06:59,813
Bart and I'll figure out
something.
134
00:06:59,881 --> 00:07:00,981
Yeah.
135
00:07:04,452 --> 00:07:05,552
Ah.
136
00:07:05,620 --> 00:07:07,621
Doesn't get
any better than this.
137
00:07:09,090 --> 00:07:11,074
Huh?
138
00:07:11,159 --> 00:07:13,477
That's weird,
my armpits are getting wet!
139
00:07:13,544 --> 00:07:16,029
Wow, the TV's hooked
up to the Internet.
140
00:07:16,080 --> 00:07:19,416
You can stream whole
seasons of old TV shows.
141
00:07:19,500 --> 00:07:20,500
Hmm.
142
00:07:20,568 --> 00:07:21,901
Seen it. Seen it. Seen it.
143
00:07:21,953 --> 00:07:23,320
British version was better.
144
00:07:23,387 --> 00:07:24,805
Totally scripted. Sued it.
145
00:07:24,872 --> 00:07:26,406
Stranded? What's that?
146
00:07:26,474 --> 00:07:28,308
Stranded was a show
about people marooned
147
00:07:28,376 --> 00:07:30,443
on a mysterious island
that's riddled with
148
00:07:30,511 --> 00:07:32,379
religious and scientific
paradoxes.
149
00:07:32,446 --> 00:07:33,847
It was huge.
150
00:07:33,915 --> 00:07:35,966
Well, the first season
and the last season.
151
00:07:36,050 --> 00:07:38,902
Well, islands are
always entertaining,
152
00:07:38,970 --> 00:07:41,304
from Gilligan to Iwo Jima.
153
00:07:45,426 --> 00:07:46,626
A plane crash!
154
00:07:48,880 --> 00:07:50,313
Wait a minute.
155
00:07:50,381 --> 00:07:54,100
That flashback raised
more questions than it answered.
156
00:07:56,871 --> 00:07:58,705
Oh, my God.
157
00:07:58,773 --> 00:08:00,140
Inside the coconut,
158
00:08:00,208 --> 00:08:03,210
my pet cat
from when I was little.
159
00:08:03,277 --> 00:08:05,245
And on his name tag
160
00:08:05,313 --> 00:08:06,947
is the number
of our flight!
161
00:08:07,014 --> 00:08:08,448
Purr-gatory.
162
00:08:08,516 --> 00:08:10,116
Where are we?!
163
00:08:12,854 --> 00:08:15,839
What a great opening episode!
164
00:08:15,907 --> 00:08:19,643
And I'm sure everything they
said will pay off handsomely!
165
00:08:29,036 --> 00:08:30,403
Hmm. Ah!
166
00:08:33,357 --> 00:08:34,524
Huh?
167
00:08:34,592 --> 00:08:36,159
Let's go. And
don't look guilty.
168
00:08:39,297 --> 00:08:41,298
Young lady, I need
to check your purse.
169
00:08:41,365 --> 00:08:42,866
I didn't steal nothing.
170
00:08:42,934 --> 00:08:45,201
If anything
happens to her,
171
00:08:45,269 --> 00:08:48,271
I'll beat you up
from inside your brain.
172
00:08:51,592 --> 00:08:52,859
I stole this.
173
00:08:52,927 --> 00:08:54,294
You stole perfume?
174
00:08:54,362 --> 00:08:55,629
Uh, yeah, me.
175
00:08:55,680 --> 00:08:57,814
I use it all the time.
176
00:08:57,882 --> 00:08:59,900
♪ Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi ♪
177
00:08:59,967 --> 00:09:01,334
♪ You-you-you-you ♪
178
00:09:01,402 --> 00:09:04,070
and I are taking a
trip to mall jail.
179
00:09:04,138 --> 00:09:06,339
Isn't that what used to be
the Beanie Baby store?
180
00:09:06,407 --> 00:09:08,642
Shut up.
181
00:09:12,496 --> 00:09:14,564
This is so cool.
182
00:09:14,649 --> 00:09:16,066
You took a
fall for me.
183
00:09:16,133 --> 00:09:17,684
No one's done anything
for me before.
184
00:09:17,735 --> 00:09:18,985
Uh-oh.
185
00:09:19,053 --> 00:09:21,621
Don't worry. I made sure
he can't get too far.
186
00:09:22,840 --> 00:09:24,057
I'd use my legs
but I've forgotten how!
187
00:09:24,125 --> 00:09:25,125
Come with me.
188
00:09:27,311 --> 00:09:30,380
Hey, the first time we lost
Maggie was in this store!
189
00:09:30,448 --> 00:09:32,916
Bart, here's my
thank-you gift.
190
00:09:32,984 --> 00:09:35,518
What could a girl have
that I...
191
00:09:35,586 --> 00:09:37,253
Oh, my God!
192
00:09:37,321 --> 00:09:38,989
It's just like Dad's!
193
00:09:44,973 --> 00:09:47,775
Bart, you haven't touched
your mashed potatoes.
194
00:09:49,311 --> 00:09:50,511
More breast?
195
00:09:50,579 --> 00:09:51,946
What-- No!
196
00:09:52,014 --> 00:09:55,166
I'm offering you a
chicken breast, you boob!
197
00:09:55,234 --> 00:09:57,818
Doesn't anyone here realize
I'm only ten years old?
198
00:09:57,886 --> 00:10:00,204
Bart, no dinner
means no dessert.
199
00:10:01,707 --> 00:10:03,508
I'm just not ready
for cookies!
200
00:10:03,575 --> 00:10:05,977
You know, I should
get back to the treadmill.
201
00:10:08,580 --> 00:10:12,016
He exercises so much,
but he looks the same.
202
00:10:12,084 --> 00:10:14,252
I guess the weight will
all come off at once,
203
00:10:14,319 --> 00:10:15,586
some day in the future.
204
00:10:15,654 --> 00:10:18,422
Don't you believe
anything Homer says.
205
00:10:18,490 --> 00:10:21,058
His first word was a lie.
206
00:10:21,126 --> 00:10:23,361
Who did this?
207
00:10:23,428 --> 00:10:24,395
Mommy.
208
00:10:24,463 --> 00:10:25,463
She did?!
209
00:10:25,531 --> 00:10:27,031
Then I'm gonna
withhold affection
210
00:10:27,099 --> 00:10:28,966
without telling her why.
211
00:10:41,029 --> 00:10:42,113
Huh?
212
00:10:43,248 --> 00:10:44,415
Don't believe
anything you were
213
00:10:44,466 --> 00:10:45,933
told by me in the past,
214
00:10:46,001 --> 00:10:46,951
because that was not me.
215
00:10:47,019 --> 00:10:48,219
But this is me now.
216
00:10:48,287 --> 00:10:49,887
But in less than a second,
I'll be gone forever.
217
00:10:51,256 --> 00:10:53,107
I might be back!
218
00:10:56,628 --> 00:10:58,162
The lava being!
219
00:10:58,230 --> 00:11:02,033
That's why they showed a clip
of it on "previously on."
220
00:11:02,100 --> 00:11:03,267
Homer!
221
00:11:03,335 --> 00:11:05,503
You're using your
expensive new treadmill
222
00:11:05,571 --> 00:11:09,106
just to watch a show that went
off the air five years ago?
223
00:11:09,174 --> 00:11:11,309
And when I wanted
to watch it with you then,
224
00:11:11,376 --> 00:11:14,178
you said it was
pretentious and repetitive.
225
00:11:14,246 --> 00:11:17,582
Marge, there're so many
mysteries I need to have solved.
226
00:11:17,649 --> 00:11:20,968
Now, if the Korean couple
can't speak English,
227
00:11:21,036 --> 00:11:23,070
why were they doing
a crossword puzzle
228
00:11:23,138 --> 00:11:26,741
where the answer to 23 down was
"enigma" spelled backwards?
229
00:11:26,808 --> 00:11:28,242
What does it mean?
230
00:11:28,310 --> 00:11:32,046
It means use the treadmill for
running or take it back!
231
00:11:32,114 --> 00:11:33,414
And where will I watch TV?
232
00:11:33,482 --> 00:11:35,182
On the TV!
233
00:11:35,250 --> 00:11:37,018
And where will I walk?!
234
00:11:37,085 --> 00:11:38,753
On the ground!
235
00:11:38,820 --> 00:11:41,622
- And where...
- This is the stupidest fight ever!
236
00:11:41,690 --> 00:11:43,357
We've had stupider!
237
00:11:43,425 --> 00:11:45,092
I don't think so.
238
00:11:46,762 --> 00:11:48,362
Hey, Fart-tholomew.
239
00:11:48,430 --> 00:11:51,666
You did a sweet job
watching my woman yesterday.
240
00:11:55,053 --> 00:11:56,821
So, what do you
want to do now?
241
00:11:56,888 --> 00:11:59,490
What any boy would: push you in
a puddle and run away.
242
00:11:59,541 --> 00:12:01,876
Maybe I should be
faithful to Jimbo.
243
00:12:01,943 --> 00:12:04,378
He's bought me a lot of gum
over the past couple months.
244
00:12:04,446 --> 00:12:06,314
Listen...
245
00:12:06,381 --> 00:12:08,983
I could get wedgied for this,
but Jimbo's a jerk.
246
00:12:09,051 --> 00:12:10,484
You can do better.
247
00:12:10,552 --> 00:12:12,820
Wow. You told me
what's best for me...
248
00:12:12,888 --> 00:12:14,855
at risk to yourself.
249
00:12:14,923 --> 00:12:16,757
Come with me.
250
00:12:16,842 --> 00:12:19,376
Shauna, I forgot to
grope you goodbye.
251
00:12:27,386 --> 00:12:29,854
At last!
This episode promises
252
00:12:29,921 --> 00:12:31,756
to finally answer
one question.
253
00:12:31,823 --> 00:12:33,324
Whoo-ho-ho-ho...
254
00:12:33,392 --> 00:12:35,209
Homie!
255
00:12:35,277 --> 00:12:37,778
The kids are away
and Maggie's napping...
256
00:12:38,914 --> 00:12:41,065
Ooh, that's great.
257
00:12:41,133 --> 00:12:42,833
Can it wait another
104 hours?
258
00:12:42,901 --> 00:12:44,151
Oh!
259
00:12:44,219 --> 00:12:45,920
She walked away
260
00:12:45,987 --> 00:12:48,072
and slammed the door.
What does it mean?
261
00:12:48,140 --> 00:12:49,573
What does it mean?!
262
00:12:49,641 --> 00:12:51,575
It means I'm mad!
263
00:12:51,643 --> 00:12:55,079
Oh, that's such a
first-take answer!
264
00:12:55,147 --> 00:12:57,381
(Simon & Garfunkel's
"April Come She Will" playing)
265
00:12:57,449 --> 00:13:00,735
♪ April ♪
266
00:13:00,802 --> 00:13:04,772
♪ Come she will ♪
267
00:13:04,840 --> 00:13:09,860
♪ When streams are ripe
and swelled with rain ♪
268
00:13:09,928 --> 00:13:14,031
♪ May she will stay... ♪
269
00:13:14,099 --> 00:13:16,484
This one's yours, Ralphie.
270
00:13:17,619 --> 00:13:21,655
♪ Resting in my arms again ♪
271
00:13:26,928 --> 00:13:31,115
♪ June ♪
272
00:13:31,166 --> 00:13:34,752
♪ She'll change your tune ♪
273
00:13:34,820 --> 00:13:39,657
♪ In restless walks,
she'll prowl the night ♪
274
00:13:39,725 --> 00:13:46,313
♪ July she will fly ♪
275
00:13:46,381 --> 00:13:52,169
♪ And give no warning
to her flight... ♪
276
00:13:52,237 --> 00:13:56,357
Simpson, I guess you don't
have much respect for me.
277
00:13:56,441 --> 00:13:59,510
Well, who wears
a wool hat to a pool?
278
00:14:04,015 --> 00:14:05,082
It's not fair!
279
00:14:05,150 --> 00:14:07,017
You know that's hilarious!
280
00:14:11,006 --> 00:14:12,973
No horseplay
in the pool area.
281
00:14:13,041 --> 00:14:16,594
This isn't play;
this is some serious payback.
282
00:14:16,661 --> 00:14:18,662
Well, that's, um...
283
00:14:18,730 --> 00:14:20,598
All right, you may
have found a loophole.
284
00:14:20,665 --> 00:14:21,866
All right, I better check.
285
00:14:21,933 --> 00:14:23,601
Hello, Abby?
286
00:14:23,668 --> 00:14:26,704
I'm not calling about
the shift change! God!
287
00:14:26,772 --> 00:14:28,172
But, well, since
you bring it up,
288
00:14:28,240 --> 00:14:30,274
if there's a way to flip
Saturday with next Wednesday...
289
00:14:30,342 --> 00:14:33,043
Simpson, prepare to...
290
00:14:34,212 --> 00:14:35,813
Hey, no running on the deck!
291
00:14:35,881 --> 00:14:37,214
I'm on the grass apron!
292
00:14:38,917 --> 00:14:41,752
Huh? Ugh, everyone's
a swimming pool lawyer.
293
00:15:06,441 --> 00:15:08,839
Oh thank God, mom will
pound them.
294
00:15:08,864 --> 00:15:12,037
Why if it isn't Jimbo, Dorf
and Ernie.
295
00:15:14,968 --> 00:15:16,252
Bart's not home yet.
296
00:15:16,277 --> 00:15:19,472
But I'm always looking to
encourage non-Milhouse play dates.
297
00:15:19,497 --> 00:15:20,732
Stick around.
298
00:15:20,757 --> 00:15:21,957
Oh...
299
00:15:21,982 --> 00:15:23,223
Hey Bart!
300
00:15:23,248 --> 00:15:24,508
Oh, it's you.
301
00:15:25,208 --> 00:15:27,740
Why do men always
think with their tongue?
302
00:15:27,765 --> 00:15:28,965
I came to help you.
303
00:15:29,165 --> 00:15:32,327
Then go back to Jimbo, and show
him every boob you've got.
304
00:15:32,352 --> 00:15:35,689
But you told me he was a jerk,
and I that I could do better.
305
00:15:38,804 --> 00:15:40,304
Oh...
306
00:15:40,372 --> 00:15:41,405
All right.
307
00:15:41,473 --> 00:15:43,541
Follow me to a place
where nerds,
308
00:15:43,608 --> 00:15:45,242
dorks and dweebs can
gather in safety.
309
00:15:45,310 --> 00:15:49,330
This isn't, like, some creepy
place under an off-ramp?
310
00:15:49,397 --> 00:15:51,265
Okay, we'll go
to my second choice.
311
00:15:52,534 --> 00:15:55,136
Now you be careful
with Bart's undies.
312
00:15:55,203 --> 00:15:57,471
We will, Mrs. Simpson.
313
00:15:59,107 --> 00:16:01,075
Think of this as your
personal Asgard,
314
00:16:01,143 --> 00:16:04,311
and I, the all-seeing Heimdall,
guardian of the gate.
315
00:16:04,379 --> 00:16:05,746
All-seeing?
316
00:16:05,814 --> 00:16:08,149
Yeah, when's the last time
you saw your feet?
317
00:16:08,216 --> 00:16:09,583
Oh, that's it!
318
00:16:09,651 --> 00:16:11,768
Fellow bullies, I've got them!
319
00:16:11,820 --> 00:16:14,238
We'll be right there.
320
00:16:14,306 --> 00:16:15,656
You're a bully?
321
00:16:15,724 --> 00:16:16,991
A cyber bully.
322
00:16:17,058 --> 00:16:18,559
Anything I do,
it is important that
323
00:16:18,627 --> 00:16:20,060
I can lie down while doing it.
324
00:16:20,128 --> 00:16:21,529
Huh?
325
00:16:21,596 --> 00:16:23,831
You just got yourself
in a flame war...
326
00:16:23,899 --> 00:16:26,400
with a teenage girl.
327
00:16:26,468 --> 00:16:28,235
Oh, flame on!
328
00:16:37,379 --> 00:16:38,979
Oh! Oh!
329
00:16:39,047 --> 00:16:42,516
You have cloven me from my
ponytail to my slipper shoe!
330
00:16:42,584 --> 00:16:43,918
Get out!
331
00:16:43,985 --> 00:16:45,419
And never return!
332
00:16:45,487 --> 00:16:47,354
Oh, unless you want to
buy old Archie comics.
333
00:16:47,422 --> 00:16:49,056
20 pound bricks
are a dollar.
334
00:16:51,827 --> 00:16:55,563
Thank you all for coming to
my Stranded discussion group.
335
00:16:55,630 --> 00:16:57,131
Hey, I loved that show.
336
00:16:57,199 --> 00:16:58,899
Wasn't it awesome when
Colonel Darkwater...
337
00:16:58,967 --> 00:17:00,584
Spoiler alert!
338
00:17:00,652 --> 00:17:02,419
I've only seen up to
season three,
339
00:17:02,487 --> 00:17:05,055
episode 17:
"Coconut Cream Die."
340
00:17:05,123 --> 00:17:08,526
So you don't know that season
five was a complete wank?
341
00:17:08,593 --> 00:17:09,960
Spoiler!
342
00:17:10,028 --> 00:17:11,495
Homer, calm down.
343
00:17:11,563 --> 00:17:14,098
It's not like any of this stuff
really took place.
344
00:17:15,867 --> 00:17:17,368
Spoiler!
345
00:17:17,435 --> 00:17:19,103
Homer, for God sakes,
346
00:17:19,171 --> 00:17:21,472
I'm trying to put
Maggie to sleep.
347
00:17:21,540 --> 00:17:23,474
I'm sorry, sweetie.
348
00:17:23,542 --> 00:17:26,177
It's a Strandie
discussion group.
349
00:17:26,244 --> 00:17:27,478
Yes, it is!
350
00:17:27,546 --> 00:17:29,813
We discuss why airplane
go crash-crash
351
00:17:29,881 --> 00:17:32,166
but people don't die-die.
352
00:17:32,234 --> 00:17:34,335
You wanna know what happens
on your stupid show?
353
00:17:34,402 --> 00:17:36,270
Firstly, the "mysterious island"
354
00:17:36,338 --> 00:17:38,539
is 15 miles from Long Beach.
355
00:17:38,607 --> 00:17:40,841
Al, Doorway Three led to Hell
356
00:17:40,909 --> 00:17:43,444
despite the series creators'
repeated insistence
357
00:17:43,511 --> 00:17:46,614
it did not lead to Hell,
and the entire Strandiverse,
358
00:17:46,681 --> 00:17:49,850
is a piece of gravel
in a cosmic kitty litter box!
359
00:17:50,986 --> 00:17:52,119
Thanks, Marge.
360
00:17:52,187 --> 00:17:54,722
You ruined my show.
361
00:17:54,789 --> 00:17:57,524
Now, I'm going to
give you a spoiler
362
00:17:57,592 --> 00:18:01,528
about our marriage:
it's not great right now.
363
00:18:03,365 --> 00:18:05,065
Well, since this is a
discussion group,
364
00:18:05,133 --> 00:18:06,467
let's discuss.
365
00:18:06,534 --> 00:18:08,102
I think
they're having a spat.
366
00:18:08,169 --> 00:18:09,536
I'd say
it's more of a tiff.
367
00:18:09,604 --> 00:18:11,138
Oh, so I'm
a moron, am I?
368
00:18:11,206 --> 00:18:12,940
Fellas, fellas,
I know where this is going.
369
00:18:13,008 --> 00:18:16,377
Give me all your
weapons now.
370
00:18:18,513 --> 00:18:21,849
Now it's time to talk about
what Carl wants.
371
00:18:31,180 --> 00:18:33,481
Oh, man, they have every
entrance covered.
372
00:18:33,549 --> 00:18:35,717
You'd have to be a
Navy SEAL to get in or out.
373
00:18:35,745 --> 00:18:37,045
Hello, lovebirds.
374
00:18:37,112 --> 00:18:38,246
Whoa!
375
00:18:38,314 --> 00:18:39,846
What are you doing here?
376
00:18:39,847 --> 00:18:42,766
I've been following your
storyline from afar, Bart,
377
00:18:42,834 --> 00:18:44,435
waiting for that
inevitable point
378
00:18:44,502 --> 00:18:46,470
where you get into trouble
you couldn't get out of.
379
00:18:46,538 --> 00:18:48,672
Perhaps I could
broker a settlement.
380
00:18:48,740 --> 00:18:50,741
Well, that's my boyfriend,
but he's a wad.
381
00:18:50,809 --> 00:18:52,526
And your brother's
not a wad, he's a dink
382
00:18:52,577 --> 00:18:54,161
on the road to doofus.
383
00:18:54,229 --> 00:18:55,629
Here, here.
384
00:18:55,697 --> 00:18:57,297
Ow.
385
00:18:57,365 --> 00:19:00,267
The lamb has returned
to the slaughter.
386
00:19:00,335 --> 00:19:01,869
Whoa, you should
write that down, man.
387
00:19:01,936 --> 00:19:03,237
I'll remember it.
388
00:19:04,889 --> 00:19:07,024
I don't think Shauna
should choose any of you.
389
00:19:07,092 --> 00:19:09,460
Shauna should choose Shauna.
390
00:19:09,527 --> 00:19:11,628
Your older sister's right, Bart.
391
00:19:11,696 --> 00:19:13,147
You don't want me?
392
00:19:13,214 --> 00:19:15,082
I want to find out who I am.
393
00:19:15,150 --> 00:19:17,051
And that's something only
394
00:19:17,118 --> 00:19:19,420
an inappropriately
older man can tell me.
395
00:19:19,487 --> 00:19:23,023
Well, that is one
lucky creepy guy.
396
00:19:23,091 --> 00:19:24,825
Lisa, are you
out there in your slippers?
397
00:19:24,893 --> 00:19:26,994
Come inside!
398
00:19:27,062 --> 00:19:29,279
Well, Bart, I guess
that's our cue to skedaddle...
399
00:19:29,364 --> 00:19:31,198
Not so fast, Simpson...
400
00:19:31,266 --> 00:19:33,600
Uh, what was that thing
I was gonna do to him?
401
00:19:33,668 --> 00:19:35,469
Told you you should've
written it down.
402
00:19:35,537 --> 00:19:38,455
If I wrote down everything
you told me to write down,
403
00:19:38,523 --> 00:19:40,791
I'd have no time for punching.
404
00:19:40,859 --> 00:19:42,760
Whoa, you should
write that down, man.
405
00:19:45,296 --> 00:19:46,880
Lousy Marge...
406
00:19:46,931 --> 00:19:49,216
ruining the delicate
relationship
407
00:19:49,267 --> 00:19:51,251
between a man and his TV show.
408
00:19:51,302 --> 00:19:55,239
I'd tell my best friend,
but that's Marge too.
409
00:19:55,306 --> 00:19:57,841
Homie, come
in the bedroom.
410
00:20:00,712 --> 00:20:05,365
Care to join me in a private
last episode party?
411
00:20:05,433 --> 00:20:07,551
Well...
412
00:20:07,619 --> 00:20:09,019
It's okay, Dad.
413
00:20:09,087 --> 00:20:10,821
He's just putting
the fear of God in me.
414
00:20:10,889 --> 00:20:12,556
Okay, but if this house
starts a-rockin',
415
00:20:12,624 --> 00:20:14,258
don't come a-knockin'.
416
00:20:14,325 --> 00:20:16,293
Have a wonderful
evening, sir.
417
00:20:34,429 --> 00:20:38,866
Purr-plexing, isn't it?
- D'oh!
418
00:20:38,933 --> 00:20:42,933
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
419
00:21:24,843 --> 00:21:26,043
Shh!